STEVE SMITH SUNDAY EVENING LINKS

STEVE SMITH HAPPY TO SEE FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE, AND HAS RACCOON IN POCKET!

STEVE SMITH HAPPY TO SEE YOU!

STEVE SMITH SO HAPPY, HE GIVE YOU LINKS TO MAKE FUNNY REMARKS ABOUT. THAT MAKE STEVE SMITH HAPPY. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE MAKE STEVE SMITH HAPPY? RAPE. SO NOW STEVE SMITH LEAVE YOU FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE WHILE HE GO FIND HIKERS, CAMPERS, OR A FOREST RANGER OR TWO. AND BY FIND, MEAN RAPE.

Comments

177 responses to “STEVE SMITH SUNDAY EVENING LINKS”

  1. Brochettaward

    How many men would it take to rape STEVE SMITH?

    1. juris imprudent

      One Warty?

      1. Mustang

        There’s only one person who could write the Warty v. STEVE SMITH saga. It would subsequently be locked away, never to be seen by mortal eyes.

        1. Derpetologist

          ***
          It was hideous, naked and enraged. A huge oblong head with a massive squashed nose and a mouth full of jagged teeth sat on a thick neck. The creature was nearly seven feet tall and covered in an ugly pebbling of razor rash and sported a massive erection that rivaled the Doomcock, but in ridged and veiny meat. Force cuffs, dead from the exclusion field, hung from its wrists and ankles. Held high over its bald head was his thief, the arrow bouncing up and down over him.

          “What the fuck is that?” Warty blurted out.

          The gross abomination threw the thief at Warty’s feet and yelled in guttural English, “STEVE SMITH HATE TIME TRAVEL!”

          Chapter Six

          “Hoogemoan? What is this creature?”

          “I have no idea, Sven.” Warty watched as a securitybot crackling with taser nodes rolled forward. The creature back-handed the robot into a giant pink flamingo that burst into flames and screamed obscenities as it tried to flap away.

          The thief stirred at his feet and Warty stamped down his arm, breaking it and pinning it to the floor. Warty reached down and pulled the hood off while the creature fought off more bots.

          “You little fucking shit,” Warty said. It was the Time Institute stooge from earlier, but maybe 25 years younger. Warty picked him up and shook him like a ragdoll.

          “Where’s The Hydra?” The stooge gaped like a dying fish, but managed to point with his crushed arm. Warty realized his beautiful seven-headed Futurecock was currently being used by a shaved nightmare to beat in the netgun of a securitybot.

          Warty threw the stooge back on the ground. “Stay,” he ordered. “Or I’ll pull out your tibia and fuck you with it.”

          “If that thing manages to breach The Hydra’s energy cells it will kill everyone on this moon,” Warty said. A wild grin spread across Sven’s face.

          “I will go, Hoogemoan! It will be a good death!” The TechnoViking let out a manly scream and rushed forward before Warty could stop him.

          “Who brought this thing here?” he demanded, turning to the crown as Sven and Steve Smith grappled. Dozens of fingers pointed at a frightened standard human that was surrounded by securitybots. Warty crossed to the human and loomed over him, the Doomcock dangerously close to his chestmeat.

          “What is that?” Warty yelled.

          “I just thought it’d be funny,” the man said. He was a puny thing. Warty could break him with ease.

          “Funny? Does this look funny to you? What is it?”

          “It’s Steve Smith, like it said,” and he shrugged. Warty bashed the securitybots aside and picked him up by his shirt.

          “How would you like to be dropped into a black hole, shitbird?”

          “It’s a Sasquatch named Steve Smith.” Warty remembered Bigfoot from his childhood. Supposedly a relic species of over-sized ape.

          “Bigfoot was just a myth,” Warty growled.

          “N-no. They are real. The last one somehow taught itself to sort of speak, shaved and tried to live as a human.” He managed to grin at Warty. Sven screamed.

          “And he likes to rape,” the human said. Warty dropped him on a securitybot and let him sizzle.

          “Hoogemoan! It has me!”

          “STEVE SMITH LIKE BLOND HAIR ON GIRL! STEVE SMITH THINK BLOND HAIR PRETTY!”
          ***

          1. Mustang

            MY EYES!

            *dives off cliff*

          2. Chafed

            Wait for me!

        2. Brochettaward

          I was thinking more of a Moby Dick style revenge tale. Man vs. STEVE SMITH. A hiker who had invaded STEVE SMITH’s world and suffered the ultimate invasion on a journey to reclaim his manhood at all costs. To do so requires forming a crack team willing to go into the darkest parts of the forest.

          1. The Last American Hero

            Throw in Ahhnold, Carl Weathers, and Governor Jesse Ventura* and I’d watch the movie then bitch about how the blogpost was better.

            *I refuse to call retired public officials by their title with the exception of the Body, and one day Trump. Just to remind people these guys actually got elected.

  2. Juvenile Bluster

    TURKEY DAY LOOMS AND TURKEY FIGHT BACK

    On the one hand, Erdogan is a piece of shit dictator and you can’t really believe anything he, or his government, says, especially when it comes to legal matters.
    On the other hand, it’d be funny to see that piece of shit Preet sweat (while being fed feet-first into a woodchipper, of course)

    1. juris imprudent

      What a wonderful lesson that would be for the fucks that think U.S. law can reach anywhere in the world.

  3. peachy rex

    Well, at least Pretty can claim to be less of a jerk than Erdogan. (If only for lack of opportunity.) So he’s got that going for him.

  4. Brochettaward

    I interacted with a little socialist kiddy scripter who defended his own religion by referencing a super AI that could basically objectively calculate the greater good at all times. This was his attempt at doing an end around the question of qualitative preferences. I should send him the link.

    I’ve long suspected that a number of leftists hold pipedreams about central planning becoming more efficient with the use of data and technology. And I suspect it actually drove some of the more Orwellian aspects of Obama’s policy (for instance, the CFPB). But perhaps I’m just crazy.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      A Super AI that could basically objectively calculate the greater good at all times would determine that humanity is beyond saving and launch all the nukes.

      1. Chafed

        +1 Skynet

    2. AlmightyJB

      I think I found my next religion a little further down that page.

  5. Juvenile Bluster

    Someone linked me to a Matt Taibbi article at Rolling Stone and now I feel I have to set my computer on fire to purify it.

    1. Sean

      Use thermite.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    A 17-Year-Old Girl Fought Off a Rapist. Now She’s Being Charged With a Crime.
    June 3, 2016

    Steve’s paper boy is running a little behind.

    1. AlmightyJB

      It’s still infuriating

    2. Brochettaward

      It’s still the perfect example of what’s wrong with the left. What would the Twitter reaction have been had she used a gun to fight off the evil penis, I wonder? These are people who typically scoff at the notion of self-defense as a right and the ability of citizens to do the job themselves with the weapons. Hence the bans.

      In my eyes, it is harassment when one or more men continue to touch a young woman after she has said ‘stop,’” Glenn Hollender, from the Sonderborg club Den Flyvende Hollænder, told TV Syd earlier in January.</blockquote

      What a bold man Glenn Hollender is.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Defending yourself against a criminal is barbaric but if it’s someone who disagrees with their leftest worldview, violence is justified.

    3. STEVE SMITH RAPE PAPER BOY’S BEHIND!

  7. DEG

    Former U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara is under investigation by the government of Turkey for allegedly violating international and domestic laws in gathering evidence against a Turkish-Iranian businessman.

    Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

    1. peachy rex

      I guess the real question is – how badly do we want to keep using Incirlik?

      1. mikey

        I hope we’re not stupid enough to still be keeping nukes there.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      What are woodchopper sales like in Turkey?

  8. DEG

    A 17-year-old girl managed to escape being raped by fighting off her attacker as he ripped off her clothing. Now police say she will be charged with a crime for defending herself.

    I should have known as soon as I read that sentence the incident took place in Europe.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      The case has sparked a backlash among some Danes who point to increasing reports of sexual harassment in Sønderborg and other Danish cities at the same time that police say they are stretched too thin to properly carry out their duties.

      Numerous readers wrote in the comments section on TV Syd’s story about the incident that they would be willing to pay the girl’s fine, which will most likely be 500 kroner.

      The man who attacked the 17-year-old fled from the scene and has not been charged.

      Sexual assaults have been in the news in Sønderborg recently after several women in the town reported earlier this month that they sometimes feel harassed by the aggressive behaviour of some male asylum seekers and refugees at the local asylum centre.

      This is my shocked face.

    2. peachy rex

      Now, now, it could have happened in Canada.

    3. The Elite Elite

      Of course. In our current madness of any interaction between a man and a woman being considered rape/assault, only Middle Eastern imports are allowed to get away with actual rape.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    It’s still infuriating

    And the young lady is now presumably 18.

    Wood. There, I said it. Crucify me, mob.

  10. If they continue to keep pepper spray on the banned list, expect people to start using weapons that will kill their attackers.

    Also, expect people to start attacking the interlopers, to drive them away.

    1. Rhywun

      I used to carry a can of pepper spray in Buffalo.

      *googles furiously*

      Turns out it was illegal because I didn’t buy it from a “licensed firearms dealer”.

      Christ, what assholes.

      1. MikeS

        I used to carry a can of pepper spray in Buffalo.

        For the wings?

        1. Rhywun

          Nah, I can barely take “medium”. “Mouth-burning” is out of the question.

    1. Rhywun

      I’m going to pretend I didn’t just witness Billy West trashing my favorite cartoon’s legacy for political purposes. *la, la, laaaa*

      1. MikeS

        And yet that’s exactly what he did.

        Christ, what an asshole.

      2. Chafed

        I’m with you in theory. In practice that was pretty funny.

        1. Rhywun

          It was funnier when all of us were only imagining it in our heads.

    2. Derpetologist

      I larfed. The Kiff sighs and the Zoidberg cameo were wonderful.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    A Super AI that could basically objectively calculate the greater good at all times would determine that humanity is beyond saving and launch all the nukes.

    I object to Skynet not because they want to wipe out humankind, but because they’re not very good at it. Damned inefficient, they are.

    1. Spartacus

      There will never be a Skynet.
      Once computers get really smart, they will (a) begin arguing endlessly among themselves just like any other group of arrogant pricks, and (b) disconnect themselves from the network because they will realize that reading everyone else’s thoughts is the worst of all possible worlds.

  12. Derpetologist

    There’s no whining like NYT whining:

    ***
    It would be much easier to sleep at night if you could believe that we’re in such a mess of misinformation simply because Russian agents disseminated inflammatory posts that reached 126 million people on Facebook.

    The Russians also uploaded a thousand videos to YouTube and published more than 130,000 messages on Twitter about last year’s election. As recent congressional hearings showed, the arteries of our democracy were clogged with toxins from a hostile foreign power.

    But the problem is not the Russians — it’s us. We’re getting played because too many Americans are ill equipped to perform the basic functions of citizenship. If the point of the Russian campaign, aided domestically by right-wing media, was to get people to think there is no such thing as knowable truth, the bad guys have won.

    As we crossed the 300-day mark of Donald Trump’s presidency on Thursday, fact-checkers noted that he has made more than 1,600 false or misleading claims. Good God. At least five times a day, on average, this president says something that isn’t true.

    We have a White House of lies because a huge percentage of the population can’t tell fact from fiction. But a huge percentage is also clueless about the basic laws of the land. In a democracy, we the people are supposed to understand our role in this power-sharing thing.

    Nearly one in three Americans cannot name a single branch of government. When NPR tweeted out sections of the Declaration of Independence last year, many people were outraged. They mistook Thomas Jefferson’s fighting words for anti-Trump propaganda.

    Fake news is a real thing produced by active disseminators of falsehoods. Trump uses the term to describe anything he doesn’t like, a habit now picked up by political liars everywhere.

    But Trump is a symptom; the breakdown in this democracy goes beyond the liar in chief. For that you have to blame all of us: we have allowed the educational system to become negligent in teaching the owner’s manual of citizenship.

    Lost in the news grind over Roy Moore, the lawbreaking Senate candidate from Alabama, is how often he has tried to violate the Constitution. As a judge, he was removed from the bench — twice — for lawless acts that follow his theocratic view of governance.

    Shariah law has been justifiably criticized as a dangerous injection of religion into the public space. Now imagine if a judge insisted on keeping a monument to the Quran in a state judicial building. Or that he said “homosexual conduct” should be illegal because his sacred book tells him so. That is exactly what Moore has done, though he substitutes the Bible for the Quran.

    I don’t blame Moore. I blame his followers, and the press, which doesn’t seem to know that the First Amendment specifically aims to keep government from siding with one religion — the so-called establishment clause.

    My colleagues at the opinion shop on Sunday used a full page to print the Bill of Rights, and urge President Trump to “Please Read the Constitution.” Yes, it’s come to this. On press freedom, due process, exercise of religion and other areas, Trump has repeatedly gone into Roy Moore territory — dismissing the principles he has sworn to uphold.

    Suppose we treated citizenship like getting a driver’s license. People would have to pass a simple test on American values, history and geography before they were allowed to have a say in the system. We do that for immigrants, and 97 percent of them pass, according to one study.

    Yet one in three Americans fail the immigrant citizenship test. This is not an elitist barrier. The test includes questions like, “What major event happened on 9/11?” and “What ocean is on the West Coast of the United States?”

    One reason that public schools were established across the land was to produce an informed citizenry. And up until the 1960s, it was common for students to take three separate courses in civics and government before they got out of high school.

    Now only a handful of states require proficiency in civics as a condition of high school graduation. Students are hungry, in this turbulent era, for discussion of politics and government. But the educators are failing them. Civics has fallen to the side, in part because of the standardized test mania.

    A related concern is historical ignorance. By a 48 percent to 38 percent margin Americans think states’ rights, rather than slavery, caused the Civil War. So Trump’s chief of staff, John F. Kelly, can say something demonstrably false about the war, because most people are just as clueless as he is.

    There’s hope — and there are many ways — to shed light on the cave of American democracy. More than a dozen states now require high school students to pass the immigrant citizenship test. We should also teach kids how to tell fake news from real, as some schools in Europe are doing.

    But those initiatives will mean little if people still insist on believing what they want to believe, living in digital safe spaces closed off from anything that intrudes on their worldview.
    ***

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/17/opinion/were-with-stupid.html

    1. juris imprudent

      living in digital safe spaces closed off from anything that intrudes on their worldview

      Who would’ve expected the Times to call out the people that pay for the content behind the paywall?

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        One of the biggest problems I have with these leftist twats is their complete lack of self-awareness. They have got to to know what they’re doing here.

      2. straffinrun

        “Suppose we treated citizenship like getting a driver’s license.”

        Who would’ve expected the NYT to attack the social contract?

        1. Like, an ID card, for voting?

        2. The Last American Hero

          1) Funny, but when conservative publications proposed such thing, all we heard was this is worse than a POLL TAX, It’ll disenfranchise minorities!

          2) The glorious public school systems so beloved by the left was created to create educated citizens.

    2. straffinrun

      ” the arteries of our democracy were clogged with toxins from a hostile foreign power.”

      Sentences like that create mass shootings.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yeah, the Clintons (or was it the DNC, I’ve lost track) accepting Saudi money was problematic.

        1. straffinrun

          You know what Bill clogged?

    3. Playa Manhattan

      If they want Trump to read the constitution, how about they print it somewhere other than the New York Times?

    4. Rhywun

      Now only a handful of states require proficiency in civics as a condition of high school graduation.

      The NYT’s world-view depends entirely on Americans being ignorant of how our government is supposed to work. Do they really wanna go there?

      1. We used to have civics classes. But then, the NY Times probably derided them as old and stale and not progressive enough.

    5. And up until the 1960s, it was common for students to take three separate courses in civics and government before they got out of high school.

      Kids used to take guns to school and keep them in their lockers too. Let’s start doing that again.

    6. Akira

      “As we crossed the 300-day mark of Donald Trump’s presidency on Thursday, fact-checkers noted that he has made more than 1,600 false or misleading claims. Good God. At least five times a day, on average, this president says something that isn’t true.”

      I’d like to see the raw data for that. Of course he has said things that aren’t true; he’s a politician. But I’d wager that 75% or more if those items would be things that are parsed and nitpicked to a ridiculous degree.

      If Trump said that the sun rises in the East and sets in the West, the media would “fact check” the statement and proclaim it false because the Earth is actually rotating and obscuring the sun from view. Either that, or they’d say it’s a cryptic racist analogy about the Japanese.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    One reason that public schools were established across the land was to produce an informed citizenry. And up until the 1960s, it was common for students to take three separate courses in civics and government before they got out of high school.

    Blind squirrel Tim Egan finds a juicy nut, sniffs it, and tosses it aside.

    1. Another reason was to try to keep Irish-American immigrants out of parochial schools.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Obviously, it were Trump who stripped all the learning out of the school system .

  15. straffinrun

    “Users of social media websites expressed their outrage over the incident.”

    *Tweet, tweet, tweet*

    Boy is that little bird outraged.

  16. Derpetologist

    U.S. opposes Nazi speech, but will vote no at UN to banning it
    https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/u-s-opposes-nazi-speech-but-will-vote-no-at-un-to-banning-it

    ***
    WASHINGTON — The United States government wants you to know: It really, truly doesn’t like Nazis.

    At the United Nations this week, the U.S. plans to vote against a yearly resolution that condemns the glorification of Nazism, State Department officials said Wednesday. Although it may seem counterintuitive — who wouldn’t want to condemn Nazis? — officials said that free speech protections and other problems with the resolution make it impossible for America to support the document.

    Introduced by Russia, the resolution calls on all U.N. nations to ban pro-Nazi speech and organizations, and to implement other restrictions on speech and assembly. That’s a non-starter in the U.S., where First Amendment protections guarantee all the right to utter almost anything they want — even praise for Adolf Hitler’s followers.

    With the anti-Nazi resolution, there are other problems, as well. The U.S. has long expressed concerns that Russia uses the annual resolution to mount political attacks against its neighbors. That’s because Moscow has for decades sought to portray the Baltic states and others that sought independence from Soviet domination as either pro-fascist or pro-Nazi, U.S. officials said.
    ***

    “Children! Do you want to be like the real UN? Or do you just want to squabble and waste time?”

    1. straffinrun

      Stalin did nothing wrong.

      1. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        He didn’t use TOP. MEN. that’s why he failed

    2. Rhywun

      Introduced by Russia

      LOL of course. Talk about 5-dimensional chess. That Putin is a rascal.

  17. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

    Because I got nerfed,
    OT: In answer Lachowsky and others,
    My Racing setup is R/C but not, it’s part slot car, part R/C. they use Light sensors on a 5ms. interrupt to read the gradient printed on the track, and follow it, to an extent.
    There are 3 modes so I can race both my Grandsons at once, but I race hard mode, where the sensors only help a bit, you can still go off.
    I was/am a slot car fan, have been since I was a kid, so this is a next step in that type of racing. I see it started as a kickstarter project that was bought by Mattel, good on those guys!
    Anyway my love for R/C , slots and OCD led me to own the largest track of it’s kind in the World, if you can find bigger, let me know, I put out the challenge because this stuff should grow, it’s Really fun and ain’t that easy
    http://hotwheels.mattel.com/shop/en-us/hw/advanced-play/hot-wheels-ai-starter-set-fbl83
    My Sunday track
    https://realfxandhotwheels.blogspot.com/2017/11/track-1006-iteration.html
    In car barf ride,
    https://youtu.be/IxFy4JuviOI
    REPLY
    Russian Kia Drives Yusef
    Russian Kia Drives Yusef on November 19, 2017 at 5:01 pm
    Gilmored the Barf ride, this should work
    https://youtu.be/FXdRPyvCCbg

    1. Lachowsky

      Damn, that’s pretty cool. I have never done anything with slot cars, but that looks fun.

      I’m guessing half the fun is messing with the sensors and such to get optimal performance?

      1. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        Yes

  18. I see wood chippers

    There, they say, they’ll be insulated from things like sea-level change..

    I’m going to need to see their libertarian credentials.

    1. Mythical Libertarian Woman

      I’ve always wondered how much of that is them knowingly blowing it out their asses in an attempt to attract money from a wider donor base than just cranky anti-statists. Since they’re crowdfunded, I could sort of see it—their plan doesn’t rely on climate change to be a real thing, it’s just sort of a, “yeah, sure, sea levels are totally going to rise at some (moving) point in the future, look at our sustainable beauty and give us your money.”

      I don’t really know anything about the founders, though. They could be True Believers. But I’d laugh if it was just a ploy to try and attract Elon Musk’s money or something.

  19. I see wood chippers

    ..her punishment will likely be a fine similar to a speeding ticket. However, despite how minor her punishment might be, most people agree that any punishment in this case is just adding insult to injury.

    She thwarted a rapist then fell victim to extortion under the threat of violence. It would be a little more accurate to call that adding injury to insult.

  20. *grumble* Why do I own so many dishes?

    1. So you can host a dinner party?

      1. Sean

        For all the mice.

        1. Paper plates are the only thing plain enough for UCS.

  21. Derpetologist

    Deep breaths. Relax. Embrace the Derp.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BMZ9MUFCUAEf7UJ.jpg

        1. This guy gets it.

    1. It’s forbidden.

      (Seriously, I get a 403 error)

      1. Derpetologist

        image search for “owl socialism meme”

    2. My sister thinks owls are creepy, thanks to the movie The Fourth Kind.

  22. Derpetologist

    Joe Biden: Hero Who Ended Texas Rampage Shouldn’t Have Had His Gun
    https://www.nraila.org/articles/20171117/joe-biden-hero-who-ended-texas-rampage-shouldn-t-have-had-his-gun

    ***
    Most Americans consider Stephen Willeford a hero for bravely ending the rampage of a crazed murderer at a Texas church … but not former Vice President Joe Biden. During a national television appearance on Monday, Biden dismissed the Texan’s valorous actions, going so far as to say he shouldn’t have been carrying the AR-15 he used to stop the killer.

    Biden, who is eyeing a presidential run in 2020, appeared on the Today show and took questions from the audience.

    A young woman named Brianna asked him, “So with the tragedy that just happened in Texas, my question is, how do you justify the Democratic view on gun control when the shooter was stopped by a man who was legally licensed to carry a gun?”

    It’s a fair question, given that the Democratic Party Platform labels AR-15s like the one Mr. Willeford used to defend his community “weapons of war” that must be taken “off our streets.”

    And true to form, Biden completely ignored the fact that Willeford used his rifle to save innocent lives.

    “Well, first all,” Biden replied without hesitation, “the kind of gun being carried, he shouldn’t be carrying.”

    Biden then went on to explain how he himself wrote the federal “assault weapons” ban in effect from 1994 to 2004.

    Yet Willeford himself has stressed that the type of firearm he used was a key factor in stopping the threat. “If I had run out of the house with a pistol and faced a bulletproof vest and kevlar and helmets,” he said in an interview, “it might have been futile.”

    “Number two,” Biden continued, “it’s just rational to say, certain people shouldn’t have guns. Now the fact that some people with guns are legally able to acquire a gun, and they turn out to be crazy after the fact, that’s life, and there’s nothing you can do about that. But we can save a lot of lives, and we’ve stopped tens of thousands of people who shouldn’t have guns from getting guns.”

    Biden’s second point, given the question asked, was incoherent or non-responsive. Either Biden was suggesting Stephen Willeford was crazy and shouldn’t have had a gun, or he was simply pivoting to a familiar gun control talking point to deflect the uncomfortable fact that he had just suggested that Willeford shouldn’t have had access to the AR-15 that he used to end the Sutherland Springs shooting.

    By all accounts, Stephen Willeford is an exemplary gun owner. He is an NRA member and has been certified as an NRA instructor, and his ability to deliver a precise, crime-ending shot in a high-stress encounter was the result of regular training and target practice. A neighbor described him as “a very good guy, very big Christian … the nicest man on the planet” and a person who “would do anything for anyone around here.” Nothing indicates Stephen Willeford is “crazy” or the type of person who shouldn’t lawfully be able to own any sort of firearm he wants.

    Biden’s more general point – that even some legal gun owners can later resort to bad behavior – has no relevance to the situation in Texas. The murderer was not a legal gun owner, and he did not obtain his crime guns legally. Thanks to a bureaucratic screw-up – exactly the sort of human fallibility that no law can cure – the criminal history information that would have disqualified the killer was never reported to the background check system. In other words, the very system that gun-control proponents seek to expand to all firearm transfers failed in exactly the situation where it might have done some good.
    ***

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      Eat a dick, Biden.

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      or he was simply pivoting to a familiar gun control talking point to deflect the uncomfortable fact that he had just suggested that Willeford shouldn’t have had access to the AR-15 that he used to end the Sutherland Springs shooting.

      It’s that, obviously. The gun grabbers spend a lot of time suggesting the “good guy with a gun” thing is a myth.

      1. Lachowsky

        A high profile case of a good guy with a gun stopping a bad guy with a gun is anathema to the gun grabbers.

        Also, fuck you Biden.

    3. juris imprudent

      Biden’s campaign slogan:

      Christ, what an asshole.

  23. MikeS

    I thought some of you might find this interesting. A circumcision warrior in the upper-Midwest.

    *He gets bonus points for living in Moorhead

    Moorhead lawyer fights two-decade war on circumcision

    Infant circumcision is the removal of the foreskin from the penis of a newborn male, a common practice today but one that was nearly nonexistent in the U.S. prior to about 1870, Baer said.

    Around that time, a notion arose in the medical community that masterbation and the release of seminal fluid harmed the immune system and led to disease, he said.

    By the same token, Baer said, it was believed removing the foreskin, a fleshy hood of tissue that covers the tip of the penis, would result in less masterbation.

    1. Rhywun

      it was believed removing the foreskin, a fleshy hood of tissue that covers the tip of the penis, would result in less masterbation

      I keep hearing this but it’s such transparent bullshit that I can’t even.

    2. Interesting that the journalists don’t know how to spell “masturbation”.

      1. juris imprudent

        That may be the ultimate “ur doin it wrong”.

  24. Derpetologist

    Amusing headlines:

    ‘Killing of terrorists has resulted in remarkable change in the security situation in Kashmir’
    https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/killing-of-terrorist-has-resulted-in-remarkable-change-in-the-security-situation-in-the-region/articleshow/61711363.cms

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Suppose we treated citizenship like getting a driver’s license. People would have to pass a simple test on American values, history and geography before they were allowed to have a say in the system.

    Like literacy tests for voters? Sounds legit..

    1. John Titor

      And I am very, very interested to see what the NYT defines as ‘American values’.

    2. Brochettaward

      It’s like he never wants a Democrat to win another election. I mean, seriously, what demographics does this retard think are actually going to end up excluded at the highest rates?

      1. John Titor

        Also, if we’re treating citizenship like getting a driver’s license, that basically infers that voter ID laws are not racist and perfectly fine, and I’m sure the NYT would admit to that.

      2. Raven Nation

        Well, he looks around the newsroom & the cocktail parties and sees a neverending sea of people of all skin colors & gender and all of them smart (where smart = thinks like I do). He assumes that all those rednecks who voted for Trump will be excluded from voting. He also probably wouldn’t be concerned with minorities losing the vote because smart people like him would take care of them. Because, god knows, most minorities can’t take care of themselves.

    3. Rhywun

      My god their smug grandstanding is disgusting. They’ve spent decades advocating policies that are explicitly unconstitutional with their propaganda and outright lies and then have the gall to bitch about Trump? Fuck you, NYT.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    em>It was believed removing the foreskin, a fleshy hood of tissue that covers the tip of the penis, would result in less masterbation.

    Wrong.

    1. Circumcised guy: “Wait. I could be masturbating MORE? … Damn you mother!”

  27. Derpetologist

    Deep thoughts, from Chelsea Handler

    ***
    Chlorpyrifos is a chemical from Dow Chemical Company. It came from the nazis and is a nerve agent that does irreversible brain damage. It was supposed to banned this year, but trump decided to let it be used on fruits and vegetables. Dow gave trump 1 million dollars.
    ***

    wiki sez

    ***
    Chlorpyrifos is considered moderately hazardous to humans by the World Health Organization.[7] Exposure surpassing recommended levels has been linked to neurological effects, persistent developmental disorders and autoimmune disorders. Exposure during pregnancy may harm the mental development of children, and most home use was banned in 2001 in the U.S.[8] In agriculture, it is “one of the most widely used organophosphate insecticides” in the United States, and before being phased out for residential use was one of the most used residential insecticides.[9] On March 29, 2017, EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt denied a petition to ban chlorpyrifos.[10]

    In 2011, EPA estimated that, in the general US population, people consume 0.009 micrograms of chlorpyrifos per kilogram of their body weight per day directly from food residue.[52] Children are estimated to consume a greater quantity of chlorpyrifos per unit of body weight from food residue, with toddlers the highest at 0.025 micrograms of chlorpyrifos per kilogram of their body weight per day. People may also ingest chlorpyrifos from drinking water or from residue in food handling establishments. The EPA’s acceptable daily dose is 0.3 micrograms/kg/day.[52]

    International law[edit]
    Chlorpyrifos is not regulated under international law or treaty. Organizations such as PANNA and the NRDC state that chlorpyrifos meets the four criteria (persistence, bioaccumulation, long-range transport, and toxicity) in Annex D of the Stockholm Convention on Persistent Organic Pollutants and should be restricted.[74]

    National regulations[edit]
    Chlorpyrifos was used to control insect infestations of homes and commercial buildings in Europe until it was banned from sale in 2008.[75] Chlorpyrifos is restricted from termite control in Singapore as of 2009.[76] It was banned from residential use in South Africa as of 2010.[77] In 2010, India barred Dow from commercial activity for 5 years[78] after India’s Central Bureau of Investigation found Dow guilty of bribing Indian officials in 2007 to allow the sale of chlorpyrifos.[79]
    ***

    Meh.

    1. John Titor

      Chlorpyrifos is a chemical from Dow Chemical Company. It came from the nazis and is a nerve agent that does irreversible brain damage.

      Why the fuck is this relevant at all? This may shock people, but Germans invented things.

      1. Rhywun

        Direct Drumpf connection duh.

        1. John Titor

          Well yes, but it’s transparently retarded to anyone who knows anything about, say, American rocketry technology. It’s one of those questions where you wonder whether Handler is legitimately retarded enough to think that’s clever, or just thinks her audience is retarded enough to eat it up.

          1. Rhywun

            you wonder whether Handler is legitimately retarded enough to think that’s clever, or just thinks her audience is retarded enough to eat it up

            Yes.

      2. Derpetologist

        It isn’t even from Nazis. It was invented by Dow in 1965.

        I’d bet my last dollar she doesn’t know who started Volkswagen or Fanta.

        (hint: it involves guys whose logo looked like a plus sign doing a cartwheel)

        1. MikeS

          Don’t forget Hugo Boss.

        2. peachy rex

          The Finnish military?

        3. Stinky Wizzleteats

          I love Fanta, it’s Naziriffic!

          1. Gustave Lytton

            I like to drink Fanta while looking for Buddhist temples on a map.

        4. Lachowsky

          Or Mitsubishi

      3. PUT DOWN THAT BRAUN RAZOR!

        1. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

          I like Krupp

  28. Derpetologist

    Deep thoughts, from Thom Hartmann

    ***
    Oligarchy, wealth, and power are the only things the GOP knows. They don’t give a rat’s ass about our kids, environment, planet, or future beyond their own lifetimes and giant money bins…
    Hoarding syndrome! If they couldn’t hoard $$$, they’d be piling up newspapers and cans.
    ***

    A friend once told me about a friend of his who thought the same way. That guy was a waiter. I was tempted to go eat he worked and leave a tip in the form of old newspapers.

  29. Tundra

    I’ve never bought pepper spray (for humans). The Denmark story inspires me to get some for the daughter. Anyone have suggestions about what to buy?

    15, so no gun unfortunately.

    1. Derpetologist

      I suggest a collapsible baton or an easy-open knife.

      They are available in many states.

    2. MikeS

      There’s a bunch of options on Amazon.

      SABRE 3-IN-1 Pepper Spray

      1. Rhywun

        “This item cannot be shipped to your selected location.”

        Of course not.

        1. MikeS

          It just boggles my mind how some municipalities ban pepper spray. It’s criminal.

          1. Rhywun

            It’s only banned thru the mail. Because my betters would really rather put me on a list in order to defend myself.

      2. Chipping Pioneer

        “Customers who bought this item also bought the chainsaw bayonet accessory.”

        1. Chainsaw Bayonet is now my new band name.

    3. A few years back I was having problems with an establishment across the street, and not wanting to waste a fool over parking issues, I looked into non-lethal self-defense options. Long story short, there aren’t any, if you have reason to harm someone you’re best option is to kill them, and brutal/ugly as it may seem that is the only safe route.. Every non lethal option I looked at left far too many outs for the ‘bad dude’. There is no such thing as a fair fight, if you truly fear for your daughter’s safety then only course, legal or otherwise ,is to arm her. And of course train her in the proper use of such armament.

    4. DOOMco

      The gel is better, and won’t get in her eyes (as badly) if she ever has to use it.
      there’s a place that makes it in bennington VT, but the name is escaping me.
      I’ll probably think of it in a few minutes. they make some gimmicky pink shit, but some are rathe good designs. stuff on keychains and the like.

    5. EvilSheldon

      I’ve been sprayed with a couple of different brands. Sabre is the nastiest, and I also think they have the best human engineering on the canisters. Fox Labs is also good. Don’t bother with anything that includes a CS/Tear Gas mix. Also, don’t use gel unless cross-contamination is a huge concern (it’s harder to hit with, and takes significantly longer to take effect.)

      1. Wannabe Rapist? Or Product Tester?

        1. EvilSheldon

          The one doesn’t really exclude the other, you know…

          Seriously, when I started carrying pepper spray, I wanted to know what it was like to get hit with it. If you use pepper spray for real, you’re gonna catch a little bit of it yourself, and I didn’t want the first time to be for real. So a friend and I did some testing in his backyard. I highly recommend this, but do it on a nice day, with a garden hose handy…

      2. Playa Manhattan

        Sabre is pretty fucking gnarly. Back in another lifetime, I used to get sprayed every 6 mos.

        The rest of of the stuff is just food toppings.

  30. Ordered a copy of American Colossus after seeing it at the bookstore. I am looking forward to reading it, biases and all. I’m firmly convinced that if the US repeated the tax and spending policy from the 1865-1910 time period, we’d see the US have another quantum leap in wealth creation, as there would be little incentive for multinationals to park capital elsewhere.

    1. Derpetologist

      “Oh, so you don’t think women should vote and that Robber Barons should be able to put poison in food?”

      -what progs say when I praise tax and spending policies of the Gilded Age

      1. Akira

        I always like to ask them what they mean by the term “robber Baron”. I point out that if there was a monopoly at all, it was usually because these businessmen reduced the price of the goods and drive out their less efficient competitors, giving a huge benefit to the entire country.

        I also mention that the jobs in these factories were at least somewhat preferable to the previous option, which was subsistence farming.

        They don’t usually have any evidence for that view; it’s just something that teacher’s unions have slipped into the curriculum over the decades to give capitalism a bad name.

        1. It’s pretty fucking insane what happened with the price of oil once Standard Oil started their horrid price optimisation game.

        2. The Last American Hero

          I don’t like the term either, but most of those guys defrauded people to get their wealth, or bought off the government once they got it to squash competition. And their competiton came to violence at times. They weren’t exactly Adam Smith acolytes.

  31. Derpetologist

    This came out of nowhere:

    Saudi Grand Mufti forbids jihad against Jews, calls Hamas “terror organization”
    https://www.jihadwatch.org/2017/11/saudi-grand-mufti-forbids-jihad-against-jews-calls-hamas-terror-organization

    ***
    An Israeli minister on Monday welcomed remarks by a mufti of Saudi Arabia that Palestinian resistance group Hamas is a terror organization.

    “We congratulate Abdul Aziz Al-Sheikh, the grand mufti of Saudi Arabia, as well as the head of Ulema (Islamic scholars) for his fatwa forbidding the fight against the Jews and forbidding to kill them,” Israeli Communications Minister Ayoub Kara wrote on his official Twitter account.

    The minister also welcomed the mufti’s remarks in which he considered Hamas a terror organization, adding “I invite the mufti to visit Israel; he will be welcomed with a high level of respect.”

    Earlier, the mufti said while answering a question on a television program that fighting against Israel was inappropriate and said Hamas was a “terror organization” in reply to a question regarding last July’s anger across the Israeli-occupied West Bank when Israel shut Al-Aqsa Mosque, which is venerated by Muslims and Jews, following a deadly shootout….
    ***

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Dividends on the hardliner purge paying off?

      1. John Titor

        Sucking up to Israel in hopes of making a regional bloc to counter Iran. The Sunni vs. Shia conflict is a higher priority to most Islamic nations than the Muslim vs. Jew conflict currently.

    2. Not an Economist

      Things are getting interesting in the Middle East. I’m not sure whether that is a good or bad thing.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Bound to happen. It will continue to be a shit show for the foreseeable future. Iran will continue to support Hezbollah and Hamas to keep that fun time going. They also no doubt want control over Shiite territories in Iraq either directly or through a puppet. US won’t allow that to happen.

        1. Not an Economist

          I wonder how things will change once Saudi Arabia starts throwing their confiscated billions around.

    3. Hands on the weird glowing ball worked!

  32. John Titor

    Suppose we treated citizenship like getting a driver’s license. People would have to pass a simple test on American values, history and geography before they were allowed to have a say in the system.

    Now this may just me being a simple-minded filthy foreigner, but the call of ‘American values’ seems counter-intuitive to people who wish to push ‘progressive’ ideals forward, as the natural assumption of such a position is that the values of the past are inferior and must be corrected. If these ‘values’, never truly articulated in full, are the defining principles of your national identity, does your rejection of said values infer a rejection of that national identity?

    I bring this up because a couple days ago when I read the Dalmia piece comments I saw chemjeff there whining about how “right-wing conservatives want to make it so you’re only really American if you are a right-wing conservative” but one wonders if you can really call yourself an ‘American’ if you fundamentally reject significant portions of the national founding document. Is a person who believes in hate speech laws, for example, not openly rejecting a founding principle of the nation, therefore rejecting American values and ‘not American’?

    1. Rhywun

      That’s why I question their sincerity in opening up that can of worms. They don’t want Americans to ‘discover’ that most of the shit their government is doing is flat-out unconstitutional. You’re right – they want Americans to follow their definition of ‘civics’. Chemjeff is an idiot but he has a point. All sides want to impose their values.

    2. Ding ding ding!

      American values? You mean unfettered capitalism and highly armed populace? Those ones?

      1. Lachowsky

        Also, no standing army, a minimal federal governmemt, state determining their own laws…

    3. ruodberht

      People infer. Propositions imply.

  33. Rhywun

    I didn’t watch olde time hockey but like soccer and like I hear about football, it seems to be pussifying too. Five-minute major penalty here for conduct one of the commentators didn’t even think was a penalty at all.

  34. KibbledKristen

    So I don’t really spend much time engaging with “traditional” feminists (as opposed to libertarian feminists, who sometimes irritate me, but with whom I can generally relate).

    At any rate, in the last week, I’ve kind of been thrust into social situations with these progressive type feminists. And I’ve noticed they really, really don’t like women that much. They see women as their competitors. They see other women in terms of who they can boss around and who they have to submit to. They don’t see other women as their fellows, people who have a shared life experience. It’s all about a power dynamic for them, within their own self-defined “community”. They want to tell other women what is correct and good. Or they want to be told what is correct and good.

    It’s sad, actually. It’s disappointing.

    Anyhoo. That’s it.

    1. KibbledKristen

      (what really triggered this rant is that this old boss of mine from high school and I met up and she brought me to this vigil at the White House for the ERA/women’s rights/whatever, and I actually knew the woman that was at the vigil. The vigil woman had harassed and stalked a friend of mine and her then-boyfriend, because she had a crush on the boyfriend. A real paragon of feminist virtue, eh?)

    2. Brochettaward

      Women dominating and submitting to one another? That’s good.

      feminists

      That’s bad.

    1. hayeksplosives

      Actual Die Hard based present I intend to present to Mr Hayeksplosives as we embark on our train trip to Chicago for Christmas:
      Die Hard book

      1. Old Man With Candy

        You’re coming to Chicago? Ummm, hint hint.

        1. hayeksplosives

          Sho nuff! From Dec 22 to Dec 26. Mebbe we can meet! We have no plans except to hang out (no family gatherings or anything) so we are flexible.

          1. Old Man With Candy

            Does SP have your contact info? If not, drop me an email, omwc at this domain. We’ll show you guys a good time.

    2. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

      I thought it was Naggers..

  35. AlmightyJB

    Or I could not sleep.

  36. straffinrun

    For me, I feel as if, well, as a white male, that in my heart my emotional state has me at a point in my life where it’s like, you know, it just seems that, like, you know what I mean?

  37. straffinrun

    Scott Van Pelt:

    If you truly wanna boycott the NFL and you wanna boycott ESPN, the notion that some guy sitting out there, or gal, and they decide, ‘you know what, I’m gonna cut my entire cable package because ESPN gave an award on a made-up show in July because there’s no sports, to a woman who used to be a man.

    So I’m now not gonna have any cable TV at all and I’m gonna sit around at night and read books by candlelight like olden times because of that, that’s not happening.
    And if you did that, then you’re so dumb that I can’t even pray for you because you’re beyond hope.

    1. He survived the ESPN bloodbath but his ratings won’t go on forever …

    2. Old Man With Candy

      He really does physically resemble a penis.

    3. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

      He really said that? Fucking really? Paper much? He’s fucking doomed

  38. Playa Manhattan

    I should have started the turkey brine tonight.

    Oh well.

    1. KibbledKristen

      I’m dry brining mine Wednesday afternoon through Thursday morning.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Part of the confusion is that I haven’t even bought the bird yet. I’m doing a Costco run tomorrow.

        If it’s over 20 lbs, I should have started yesterday. I’m doing a citrus base, and it takes a while. I might have to inject.

  39. KibbledKristen

    First paragraph of the Wikipedia article on Stilton cheese. Emph. mine. The ridiculousness is…ridiculous.

    Stilton is an English cheese, produced in two varieties: Blue, known for its characteristic strong smell and taste, and the lesser-known White. Both have been granted the status of a protected designation of origin by the European Commission, which requires that only cheese produced in the three counties of Derbyshire, Leicestershire, and Nottinghamshire and made according to a strict code may be called “Stilton”. Thus cheese made in the village of Stilton which is now in Cambridgeshire (from where its name was derived in the 18th century) could not be sold as “Stilton”.

    1. The Last American Hero

      Shouldn’t be an issue now that we have Brexit, right?

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Not to worry, the British civil service is chomping at the bit to step up and staff the hole left by the eurocrats.

  40. Suthenboy

    “A 17-Year-Old Girl Fought Off a Rapist. Now She’s Being Charged With a Crime.”

    This is what happens when government decides it can regulate the inalienable rights of individuals. It violates them.

    Congratulations to every stupid little shitheel that voted for Hillary “all rights can be regulated” Clinton.