Yes, it’s that time of year again, when Jews all over the world celebrate their most treasured and most holy days… well, not really, but I’ll Jewsplain.
First, the part everyone knows: this is supposedly the commemoration of the Maccabees doing something or other. But here’s the catch- Jews do not accept the books of the Maccabees as canonical and derive their understanding of Chanukkah and the Maccabees from the Talmud. The usual reason given is that the Macs came along too late, the canon was completed. But it may be deeper than that, so let’s start with the familiar parts.
The whole megillah happened around 2200 years ago when I was just a wee yeled. The Middle East was a seething cauldron of petty rivalries, bloody wars, and conquests back and forth, unlike today’s quiet and civilized environment. The two major warring empires were the Ptolemies and the Seleucids, who were proxies for various swarthy European types. There were some Macedonians, Romans, and Persians in the mix as well. Like I said, it was a mess. And as usual, the Jews were right in the middle of the shit because of their geographic location and because Yahweh liked fucking with us.
If you read through the histories of that era, it’s a confusing mess because so many of the warring monarchs had the same name, with only nicknames and numbers allowing you to tell them apart. But the overwhelming cultural bit of this was the spread of Greek civilization, which brought things like rationality, philosophy, mathematics, and science to the gibbering tribal masses of Asia and Northern Africa. Unlike the tribal kingdoms, the Greeks were very big on universal culture and values, as well as a surprising tolerance for other ways of life- they basically were the first assimilationists, and in ways that would seem very familiar to Americans.
Now, the official story is that those awful Greeks, who at that point in history ruled over Palestine, had a culture that was so attractive that the Jews started assimilating, speaking Greek, adopting airs of tolerance, eating pork, wrestling naked, and wearing clip-on foreskins (that is not a joke, they really had them). This, of course, could not be tolerated by the Jews, goes the usual narrative. And then, in a total reversal of Greek policy, the latest tyrant, Antiochus IV (Epiphanes), was said to have outlawed Jewish religious practices and forced everyone who hadn’t adopted Greek culture and mores to do so by clipping on foreskins and chowing down on ham (anticipating the later American Jewish custom of eating pork by dismissing it as “Chinese food”). So after the usual litany of atrocities, which prominently featured defilement of the Temple in Jerusalem, they naturally rebelled. The Talmud gives its version of one of the atrocities, the story of Hannah and her sons. One at a time, Antiochus ordered each of Hannah’s sons to eat bacon, and each son in turn refused, shouted a slogan about their devotion to Yahweh, and was then killed for maintaining their religious righteousness. After watching each of her sons in turn being executed, Hannah threw herself off a building in a fit of grief and madness. An inspiring tale, nu?
The familiar tale continues with the great Judah Maccabee leading his ragtag band of righteous Jews into a successful rebellion against the heathen Greeks, driving them out of Palestine, then rededicating the Temple by the use of various priestly rituals. Note the last. The miracle of Chanukkah was the burning of a ritual lamp in the Temple for eight days while consuming only one day’s worth of oil, which is all they had in terms of ritually pure oil.
As a libertarian sort, I’ve learned to be a bit cynical and assume that any story like this glides past unsavory truths. I also assume that cupidity rules and is usually the driver of events. So, with that in mind…
At that time, there were multiple schisms among the Jews- the famous Life of Brian scene about the Judean People’s Front versus the People’s Front of Judea was not entirely a joke. Three of the major factions were the Pharisees, the Sadducees, and the Hellenizers. The Pharisees and Sadducees fought over who really had control of Jewish law, with the Pharisees maintaining that the rabbis were really the ones to control things, the Sadducees insisting that it was the Temple priests, and the Hellenizers being the Reform Jews of their time, incorporating Greek practice and language into the Temple rituals and eschewing the fundamentalist interpretations of Jewish law (yes, this is an oversimplification, but the big picture always is).
Judah Maccabee was the son of Mattathias, who was a Temple priest and a fundamentalist. Within the priesthood, the Hellenizers and fundamentalists struggled, with the Hellenizers having won out. Their priest, Menelaus, deposed the fundamentalist priest, Jason, by paying off Antiochus. This was a good investment since this gave Menelaus control of the Temple treasures and receipts. Mattathias, being a fundy allied with Jason, was clearly a loser here. In his view, anyone not following the religion in the way his faction thought proper should be executed, and they certainly did their share of killing. And indeed, one of the outcomes of the rebellion was the execution of Jason as a heretic and traitor to the One True Faith.
So a cynical person might look at this as less of a rebellion against Antiochus, but more of an internal struggle between factions fighting for power and treasure. The winners write history, so the fact that the Greeks mostly didn’t interfere with religious practice before or after the Maccabean rebellion but somehow Antiochus was the exception and tried to wipe out Judaism could possibly be… well you know what self-serving storytellers and drama queens those Middle East folk can be. The cynic might look at historic parallels and see the Maccabees as akin to the modern Taliban, fighting against the encroachment of civilization (literal, in this case) in favor of a strict and violent fundamentalism that just coincidentally put them in power. And that’s what we celebrate for Chanukkah.
Fun fact: the Hebrew word for a Jew who has given up strict religious practice is “apikoros,” which derives from the Greek “Epicure.”
One more cynical observation: why the books of the Maccabees are not canonical among the Jews despite lots of slaughter and a Yahweh miracle. Although the usual excuse is timing, someone miiiiight notice that the decisions about canonicity and religious practice were made by the faction which survived and ended up controlling Judaism: the Pharisees, bitter foes of the Sadducees, the latter of whom the Maccabees, as priests who got their share of Temple treasure and tribute, were aligned. But that would be overly cynical, right?
Fun fact: Judah Maccabee was the first Jew to make contact with the Romans, seeking assistance in his fight against the Greeks. As readers of Matthew will note, this did not end well for the Mac family.
Fun fact: although potato latkes seem like the canonical Chanukkah food in the US and Europe, in Israel they’re almost unknown. The treat of choice is… jelly donuts. And why is that? Because the bakers in Israel have traditionally been part of state-sponsored trade unions. And although latkes are easy to make at home and best served fresh, donuts are more difficult and are much easier to pick up at a (union) bakery. Just look for the union filling.
And speaking of latkes, here’s the way to do it right.
Comments
315 responses to “A Very Special Jewsday Tuesday: Chanukkah Edition”
Any news on the mammal race in Alabama?
http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/454574/live-results-alabama-special-election
They have it as a close one, 0 to 0.
Did this hive of commentary scum and villainy just dip out to go smoke a bowl? Or are they still stuck in the PM link?
They’re antisemites.
Polls close 7pm local.
https://www.theroot.com/the-no-holds-barred-alabama-senate-race-live-blog-and-p-1821233290
You’re not helping.
https://memegenerator.net/img/instances/31909960/im-helping.jpg
“In April, Republicans changed the Senate rules to allow a simple majority instead of 60 votes to confirm U.S. Supreme Court nominees.”
*Scrolls down looking for comment on 2013* Huh, must have been deleted by a copy editor.
Hannukah, Channahkuh… like I’d give a shit. Xe, Xem, Xer. Crazy talk, I tells ya!
Mmmmm latkes!
I’ll make the applesauce.
Oh, and YEA Jewsday!
“Here’s to a happy cha-nah-ka to all y’all Jews. I hope y’all get so many gold trinkets which ya love so much. I feel sa blessed to know such good Jews in ma life like ma lawyar and ma accountant. I thank Jesus every night for you and I hope one day y’all will do the same”
– Roy Moore’s wife who totally has Jewish friends, just so you’re aware
“Our lawyar is so nahs and kahnd, it’s hard to remember that he’s one of theyem people what killed our lord.”
Damn, you’re parody is better. You (((people))) and your quick wit
Kilt, not killed.
Accountants? A Jewish firm I worked for always had one gentile in management – the accountant – so he could take the fall for any funny bookkeeping.
For OMWC, Q, Vhy and all the other pipe hitting members of the tribe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4tKOZPvof4
There is not enough weed and alcohol in the universe to get me past the first minute.
(((sad trombone)))
I do like latkes though (despite not being a chosen one)
So you hate unions, then.
/writes down Rick’s name for the upcoming struggle sessions
I mean I hate everyone, so…
I’m only chosen by OMWC. But I think that (((counts))).
My Dad periodically sends me stuff like this. I’ll stick with Sandy Koufax as my spokesman.
OT: She looks quite a bit chunkier in the video than in the pics; as in barely recognizable.
https://nypost.com/2017/12/12/what-its-like-to-date-one-of-the-worlds-biggest-porn-stars/
Not that I would know anything about such things, but she does look a little different than a few years ago.
It did say ‘biggest’.
Fat chicks punch down.
Somewhat related: I had a strict “no engineers” policy while dating, because I didn’t want my primary connection with my significant other to involve dragging work home with me. For this guy, every bit of intimacy involves dragging her work home with her. “Hey, wanna fuck?” “Ugh, not really. I fucked 3 guys and a girl who squirts today, and I’m a bit sick of looking at penises. Can we wait until the weekend so that I can decompress a little bit first?”
“you taste like other men, but I kinda like it!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzTaHxV2ed0
Although I was familiar with the difference between Protestant & Catholic takes on 1 & 2 Maccabees, did not realize Maccabees was not Jewish canon.
It’s interesting to compare them to the Talmudic telling, which is where (((we))) draw our understanding from.
*Too lazy to look it up*
…so the Talmudic version is different to the version in the Apocrypha?
Somewhat. It derives from those book plus Josephus, and adds in a few stories like the Hannah one.
Cool, thanks.
I enjoy these, I always learn something. Thanks.
OT: Blue on blue aggression.
https://pjmedia.com/faith/oregons-wealthiest-city-grapples-social-justice-crusaders-lake-access/
– “You didn’t build that!”
– “Uh, yes. We did.”
Oswego, into the wild blue yonder.
Jewsday is one of my favorite segments and I’m not even one of ((((them)))).
Thanks. I’ve been remiss lately because of end-of-year day job work demands and my paid writing gig (see the Douglas Adams quote about deadlines), but I’ll try to do better.
Really, really sad story but WTF is with the statist-style dragging the government into it?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbtLUChdUlc
Speaking of jelly doughnuts, my grandmother always had these little raspberry flavored, o-shaped gummi discs covered in chocolate. Is that a (((thing))) in general or just my kooky grandma?
Joyva Ring Jells are such a thing.
OK, none of the other (((kids))) had them so I wondered.
I look forward to eating like 4 cartons’ worth.
Are they a suitable cookieless stand-in if you can’t find Pim’s framboise? Because those are the shiznat.
Sadly, no.
OT but more linky for coverage of the AL race:
http://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/364549-alabama-senate-race-live-results
Oh you guys! I just found the American Baking Competition ($5 for the season) on Amazon. Hosted by …..(drum roll) Jeff Foxworthy. Hell yes I’m going to watch that!
Your post the other day about habanero brownies inspired my coffee this morning.
I added some habanero powder to a cup of chocolate cake flavored coffee. Yummy.
Ooh, sounds good. I bet it woke you up.
I love my food shows but I draw the line at baking. And desserts. I have no interest in those. Savory or GTFO.
Baking can be savory.
Fine. Savory that isn’t baking. ?
?
Baking fascinates me, because it’s not just “do what though wilt.” Skill, knowledge, technique and accuracy all matter. I face holiday baking with a mixture of delight and dread. If I screw up, it’s all on me. {gulp}
“thou” not “though”. Swiftkey rocks on Android and SUCKS on the iPad.
Eh, even screw ups are usually tasty.
Not if you burn them.
And then there’s the story from childhood where my sister saw one of those “Hints from Heloise” type things that you can make a heart-shaped cake if you have a square and a round pan of the proper sizes. So my sister baked a cake.
Unfortunately, she misread the recipe and used granulated sugar for the icing instead of confectioners’ sugar.
I did say usually. And, yeah, granulated sugar in icing is…not good.
I avoid baking for this reason. I love to cook, but I’m not generally a to-the-letter follower of recipes. I like to improvise, experiment, put my own spin on things. As I learned the hard way, you can’t do that in baking. Precision is crucial.
I’m a “by the book” recipe follower, so I don’t see much of a difference between cooking and baking. It’s a wild day if I write notes on the recipe.
^This. I don’t follow recipes at all except for the barest outlines. Most call for ingredients I don’t have. Or equipment. So I do my own thing. And yeah it takes a lot of trial and error.
I am like you, I have a hard time following an actual recipe. I got into baking after reading Ruhlman’s “Ratio”. That gave me the freedom to experiment because now I have a better understanding.
Ratio’s a good book.
Yes! Someone is making a peanut butter and chocolate covered bacon pie! This is awesome!
This is hilarious
I remember in the late 90’s something called 3 kings day was getting hyped. The military was pushing it as something we need to recognize because every group has their own version of a christmaslike holiday.
Sounded fine to me, I figured it must be someone’s thing. Then years later I remember thinking I don’t hear about it anymore and I don’t know if I ever met someone who celebrated it.
You didn’t have an epiphany about it?
Hah!
New season of X-Files starts January 3rd.
Woo-hoo!
Jesus… really? I gave up in the Doggett years.
Eh, the MotW stuff was good, they definitely “LOSTed” it as time went on but even the conspiracy episodes could be pretty fantastic. The last season that come out a couple of years ago wasn’t awful, better than Doggett but still not prime X Files, I’m cautiously reserved that it won’t totally blow donkey dick.
Except the conspiracy didn’t fucking go anywhere. That’s why I gave up.
They kinda sorta wrapped it in the last (most recent) season, not a great payoff, but one at least. I would have been satisfied if they had wrapped the conspiracy after season 6 and started something else as for story arc but c’est la vie.
The problem is, as Americans, they went in with the sole intent to “make more seasons” rather than “tell a story”. I hate that shit. If you’re going to be all story-arcy, there’s needs to be a story.
Absolutely concur. I rewatched the series a little while ago in preparation for the renewal. There are fucken cringe worthy moment, I tell ya hwat.
I was a huge fan from the very first episode but I don’t know if I have the patience to watch the whole thing again. Or the new stuff.
It was at turns delightful and frustrating. I would recommend it, if you ever have time, if only to watch the growing chemistry between the character.
Hell the CSM may be one of my favorite TV villains.
Yeah, I’ll probably buy the DVD’s some day. I’m being too harsh – I do love the show overall.
I forget who it was, but sometime around S6, a writer at National Review posted something along these lines: “X-Files fans have not always been sure where the story is going but they’ve always had faith that Chris Carter knew. Alas, it is no longer clear that Carter knows where the story is going.”
I would have been happy – in retrospect – for it finish at Season 6.
“The last season that come out a couple of years ago wasn’t awful”
The episode that paid tribute to “Night Stalker” was pretty good.
It’s back to Mulder & Scully. I enjoyed last year’s season.
Yes, the Doggett seasons sucked.
What happened to the two youguns’ who seemed to be the M&S replacements?
Today in I Hate Everyone in This Story.
Man, you weren’t kidding.
How can intelligence tests be culturally biased? AFAIK, most of the questions deal with things like spatial reasoning and problem solving; how can that possibly depend on culture? It’s one to have a test of knowledge, I can see that being biased, but IQ? I call BS.
It’s culturally biased in the sense that some cultures put more value on book learnin’ than others – but that’s that what they mean of course.
ugh – “not what they mean”
Well, as you intimate towards the end of your comment, a lot of tests that are called “IQ Tests” aren’t actually valid psychometric assessments designed to measure g. That having been said, one explanation of the Flynn effect is that individuals in the developed world are getting better at IQ tests because they are exposed to standardized testing at an early age. (Thanks Common Core!). I would also posit, as a psychometrician of adult second language acquisition, that any IQ test designed to measure verbal intelligence will have a cultural bias in that cultural understanding in an inherent part of language competence (i.e., pragmatics)
I think is a big part about why certain (((groups))) could ostensibly have a sub-average median IQ pre-1900, and yet be a massive part of my “gifted” HS classes 86 years later.
Maybe if it’s in a language that isn’t your first language. Otherwise I don’t know.
Definitely. Socioeconomic status is another reason. Upper middle class kids are just exposed to a.) more academic language in the home as they are presumably the offspring of more educated individuals and b.) exposed to more standardized testing. One would think that higher SES is just a eugenic effect of more intelligent people doing well and meeting each other to reproduce, but you have to take into account regression to the mean.
I grew up in a lower middle class, or more likely a below middle class environment and had plenty of exposure to standardized tests. I would be interested to see how home school students perform on standardized tests since they likely see far fewer of them. Outside of homes so dysfunctional the children don’t attend school I have trouble buying that as a factor.
Well the usual argument about IQ, and I tend to believe it, is that it’s not a foolproof measure of intelligence. I do, however, think that it’s a case of high false negatives with low false positives, which is to say that while it may be pretty easy for intelligent people to do poorly on an IQ test it’s very, very hard for an unintelligent person to do very well.
As for the cultural thing, I’ve heard that it’s something like questions assuming background knowledge that might be more familiar to people of higher socioeconomic standing or of a particular subculture or religion. So, for example, a well-off kid might find a question involving a swimming pool or a garage easier to answer than a kid who lives in a high-rise housing project. Maybe a question about farm animals might be harder for a kid that has never left the city. The actual math or problem solving or spatial reasoning or whatever wouldn’t be more or less difficult, but they’d lack the personal experience against which to “ground truth” their answers.
I’m not sure how much of that I buy, but it seems reasonable to me. I’d heard that there was an effort in prior years to revise test questions in general but IQ test questions specifically to account for stuff like that. Like I say, I don’t think that IQ is necessarily a useful measure of functional intelligence, and I don’t know that you can make it more useful by tweaking the wording of questions.
The one IQ test I remember taking 10 or 15 years ago didn’t have any questions that could be tied to a “culture”. It was all spatial/math type stuff.
Last time I took an IQ test was something like 30 years ago. I don’t recall the questions in detail but I do recall that most of them were math-related, to my chagrin. I never found out what my IQ was, so I’m guessing it was like borderline retarded or something. My grandfather swore up and down that the “genius gene” traveled through our veins (apparently my one aunt is actually a genius) and that I’d obviously gotten it; my dad was like, “You’re smart, but you’re not a genius.” Personally, I’d be interested to find out, but not so interested that I’d bother with the test. Besides, I’ve never met anyone who was paid on the basis of their IQ test results.
I took GRE General long time ago when–I think–it was considered equivalent to an IQ test. One of the typical questions in the verbal section had five pairs of words and you had to pick one which wasn’t like the other four. If you knew all 10 words then it was easy, but if you’re not a native speaker and not sure about the meaning of one or two words then the question becomes much more difficult.
There are valid IQ tests that don’t use words at all, like Raven’s Matrices. There are also tests that have a specific “vocabulary” section, like the WAIS. Interestingly enough, one of the most famous IQ tests specifically designed to be “culture-free” was the creation of one of the last, great eugenicists.
Jews love money. Capitalism makes money. Production produces things for Jews to sell and make money.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mnViuhiUDWo
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H8CfniSkLRI
(((MONEY)))! BEAUTIFUL (((MONEY)))!!!
Does the Talmud take any stance on vertical video?
Snark aside, the subject matter is beautiful.
Look buddy, it was about 140 degrees where I was standing when I shot that video. The quality is poor and I did it verticle because I wasn’t thinking extremely clearly when I took it. if the furnace operator tilts the furnace to aggressively, I was in a spot where I could I could have been splashed. I needed to be on my toes, so my whole a tent ion wasn’t focused on taking the best video.
How does one get a job like your, asking for a friend.
https://www.gerdaucareers.com/job-details.aspx?nPostingTargetID=48368&sType=Indeed
Also, that link is why the #fightforfifteen crowd pisses me off so much. That jon is available to anyone who wants it. It starts at 15 an hour wit full benefits. No experience or education necessary. All you have to have is a work ethic. If you stick with that job, within 2 years you will making 20. 20 with plenty of overtime available. It’s a 65k a year job for anyone who is willing to do it.
I’m jus’ funnin’ ya, dawg.
Seriously though, I could never work in a foundry for the exact reasons you just cited. I would last about fifteen seconds before being instantly vaporized, because molten metal is as dangerously mesmerizing to me as a pair of 36Ds.
no offense taken. I was being just as snarky back. I have worked there a little over 4 years. I worked in the rolling mill for most of that time. I just moved up to the melt end about 4 months ago. It’s still pretty damn cool to me. I spend time just watching the process sometimes. I take a little video when I can and I post it here because I think a lot of the glibs like it.
It matters not what “a lot of glibs” like. It matters only that SP is enamored of videos of stuff being made.
Thank you!
SP, since you show interest and you’re important-
I have been wanting to write an article about steel making. I have many ideas and I believe I can do a good job
The problem I keep running into is the “I, Pencil” problem.
Basically to make steel one has to first invent the world. I don’t know where to start my article.
From scrap?
From what motivates people to scrap used steel?
From the original producers a what was eventually turned into scrap?
From the iron age metallurgista who first extracted iron ore?
I need a damn starting point.
Personally, I’d start right after John Henry Irons designed his suit after the death of Superman.
You’re a big help, HM. Thanks.
Lachowsky/SP,
I’d still like to write part two of that article -manufacturing consumer parts from the raw material made by Lachowsky- but I have even more trouble trying to figure out where to begin. I could see it being a bunch of videos, but I that isn’t the correct format for here. I’m open to ideas.
Perhaps, start from now and work backward. You could show us a day in the life at the steel mill, then talk about the technological advances that got us to here. It doesn’t need to be one post. You could do “dispatches from the mill” occasionally.
Stuff I am always interested in knowing: sizes of equipment (the jokes write themselves); how long stuff takes to do; who uses the stuff and for what; dimensions and measurements of stuff; cost of stuff; how many different kinds of jobs/people does it take to make the stuff; what it feels/sounds/looks like to do the job.
Oh, meant to add, I’d be interested in the whole scrap aspect, too.
And, I am not important. I just hold the very existence of the site in my hands. (Don’t worry, we have a backup admin if I get hit by a truck.)
Mike, why isn’t video the right format? We can do that, if you can create them.
It would be interesting to see the start from the mill via Lachowsky and the final use at your end.
Anyway, I think it would, and since I hold the keys….
I don’t know. I just picture this place more as written stories, with a picture here and there. But you’re right, it can be whatever we – you 🙂 – say it is.
I’ll think about it some more. The advice you gave to Lachowsky struck a few chords with me. You have given me some direction, too.
Mike I still have your e-mail. I need to mail.you back. I think we can put together a good article/series.
I really have thought about this quite a bit over the past few months. Like I said above, knowing where to start is what is keeping me from starting. Shoot me another mail with your thoughts and I’ll shoot one back with mine and we can probably come up with something that will be good enough to get published here.
Excellent. (Like I mentioned in the cookbook topic, I make money as a writer, editor, and publisher in my real life. Because I am good at it. 😉 )
Here’s a question from a goy to our Hebrew friends – what was the distinction between the rabbis and the temple priests? How were they different?
As I understand it, Priests were analogous to Catholic Priests in that they were direct spokesmen for G-d. They had his personal line. Rabbis are just very learned scholars that teach the scriptures and provide advice but are not considered to have any special access to the divine. There can be no priests without the Temple, so after the Temple was destroyed, no more Cohen (the priestly class, now a (((surname))) ).
Aha, you answered what was to be my next question, which is why there are no Jewish priests today. Thanks.
That and the Kohanim are a hereditary caste where as anyone can become a rabbi.
Thanks. Forgot about that.
The follow-up question is, if they ever rebuild the Temple (can they build it elsewhere than the Temple Mount?), how would they decide who gets to be the High Priest? Like, would they do the Catholic thing and vote on it, or would they await a sign from God?
1. Yes it would have to be on the Temple Mount.
2. I actually have no idea. I’m sure there’s a procedure somewhere in the Talmud.
As a practical matter, will the Temple ever be rebuilt? Unlikely IMO, unless there’s some sea change in the ME geopolitical situation. Even with that, I think there are a lot of Jews who wouldn’t want it rebuilt for a variety of reasons.
Considering that the rebuilding of the Temple coincides with the Coming of the Messiah, I think its a moot point as we’ll have the direct line to God again, and he can just tell us who the High Priest should be.
Not one of (((them))), but I think I can field this. Only one of them carries enough to make change from a twenty.
Please forgive me. I don’t know very many Jewish jokes, so I feel compelled to make up my own on occasion.
I know about 1 Jewish joke, but it’s too offensive to post anywhere, even here.
Yeah, that distinction is lost a bit in OMWC’s description. in the NT, there’s a few more groups including Herodians, scribes, “teachers of the law”, etc. Saducees are called out several times specifically because they don’t believe in the supernatural, etc – which would seem to disqualify them from being the normal “Aaronic” priests – who would generally be expected to be more exposed to supernatural things…ie. going into the holy of holies would get you struck dead (or you might see a vision and lose your voice like Zechariah).
Christian music, Ya Heathens! notice the Tatoos, otherwise Hawt!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twGtLSl2Sz8
That wasn’t this.
Better?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xF77Y1JLScc
https://twitter.com/petergrosz/status/940756653091229696
Fuckin’ Alabama. It’s a real Giant Douche – Turd Sandwich situation. As much as I hate Moore for his gay hating and SoCon BS, I really, really don’t want Dems to have this sexual assault accusation arrow in their quiver. It doesn’t even matter if Moore really did it, if just an accusation (and a forged yearbook signature) are enough to sink a campaign in a blood red state, we’ll be seeing assault allegations against every Republican from President to Dog Catcher. Also, Jones is a gun grabbing POS. Can’t they both lose? Can’t we get a time machine and have better primary winners?
Ask Titor, I can take you to universe where they never ran, but Hitler cured cancer, so…
With Moore’s election, the GOP has fully become Bannon’s socially conservative/economically liberal populist-nationalist “worker’s” party.
In other words, a complete tub of shit.
Is the SOCON angle really Bannon’s thing or is he more interested in jamming his dick into the Republican establishment’s eye socket?
Trump and Moore are not close in terms of social conservatism. It doesn’t make much sense to look at those two and figure the common denominator is social conservatism.
Trump was just a pilot. Bannon’s party is going to be 1,000 little Tom Tancredo clones.
If by “Socon” you mean “evangelical”, then no. If by “Socon” you mean “reactionary”, then yes.
If by SOCON you mean social conservative, no.
That’s not a statement in favor of an imagined traditionalist communitarianism?
Where are our Jews going to emigrate to this time?
How about the Jewish Autonomous Oblast?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish_Autonomous_Oblast
“We’ll always have Sitka.”
+/- Yiddish policeman’s union
Moore is a social conservative and an authoritarian twat and…I hope he wins. This unproven 40 year old accusation nonsense can’t be allowed to take hold.
I just … can’t. Can I root for him to win, but get trampled to death by a horse tomorrow?
Yes.
If it doesn’t happen, can you take me to the Cronenberg universe? It seems less apocalyptic than this one.
Maybe. But you’re going to want to bring some booze.
*checks cabinet*
Yeah, we’re good Rick.
Alrght, JB (burbs) lets (burb) blow this Fascist Popsicle stand.
If it does take hold, I sense a great “Rent An Accuser” entrepreneurial opportunity.
Even if he wins, you can still use that business idea in the entertainment industry.
Has Alec Baldwin caught an accusation yet? If that drunken psycho hasn’t grabbed some starlet’s nether regions against her will I’ll eat my hat.
(To Mr. Baldwin’s lawyers: this is a joke)
^This. I’m stunned that nothing has come out on him yet. Unless it’s just one of those things where everyone knows he’s obnoxious and he’s basically just everything that you see on the surface. Or if it’s like Mel Gibson, where he’s already gotten his public shaming out of the way and kind of has an immunity built up.
I’ve seen at least one article about him quitting something or accusers mentioned, etc. Might have just been via Twitter. There’s definitely something coming down re: him though. I’d be expecting a bit more from Sean Penn and some of the other guys with a public temper as well.
Leave it to (((you guys))).
I blame the Progressives, as I do in most things. Especially the SJW branch, but they’re all guilty as sin. People in this country were perfectly content to elect corrupt shitbirds of either party as long as they’d just say nice things while they were spending money like drunken sailors and passing stupid laws. It was eight years of culture war being waged by the very politicians they put into office that drove so many people to vote for Donald “ThisCan’tActuallyBeRealLife,CanIt?” Trump. Now, in Alabama, the party of opposition can’t find someone who could pull enough support from a creepy SoCon authoritarian to keep it from being a dead heat. This should be a gimme, but the Jackass party managed to fuck it up. I mean, even the Republicans are running away from this guy, and the Dems still can’t find someone who can pull support away from him.
Alabama gets a gun grabber Senator. The world gone crazy.
As with the last series of elections, Proglash is real.
Realer than 2016 Whitelash????
The real shit, yo.
Only for a short time
Another great article OMWC. I make a pretty good Latke. Think that’s going to be on my Saturday brunch menu.
Peel and grate 4 large potatoes, putting in cold water as you go. Grate 1 small onion. Spread drained potatoes and onion on kitchen towel, roll up and twist out as much water as possible. Put in bowl and store in 1 lightly beaten egg, 2 teaspoons flour, and a dash of salt. In hot oil in front pan, spoon out small piles, 2 tbls each, of mixture and lightly flatten down into 4″ circles. Fry until golden brown, about 5 minutes per side over medium heat. Season with S&P. Can keep warm on baking sheet with rack in oven until done. Drain on paper towel. Serve with sour cream and chopped green onion.
Frying pan. 12″. Cook 4 at a time.
delightful. definitely making it this weekend.
Me too.
Ahem, the proper way to say that is
#metoo
Moore looks to be ahead, but that could change. just FYI
Libertarian moment!
Actually, to be perfectly honest, I hope he wins. Only because I want congress to repeal Obamacare and do tax cuts. They probably won’t even with Moore in there, but they defiantly won’t with a Democrat in his seat. It’s a shit choice.
https://twitter.com/politico/status/940777930287874048
And yet again, while I dislike the man himself, judged by the quality of his enemies I can’t help but root for him.
And the very first comment is everything I hate about politics today.
Yay twitter, where you can be the most insufferable douchenozzle with zero repercussions.
It’s like Tony runs all the Twitter socks. Where does he find the time.
Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Complete asshole
Now I want to lead a war against Greeks and to eat a pile of latkes.
You know who else loved potatoes and hated the Greeks?
People from Idaho?
The Hibernio-Turks?
Going over to my mom’s house on Saturday. She makes the best latkes. Picking up donuts, just because. Is it wrong to get a Maple Bacon one on Shabbos during Hanukkah?
No, just get it in a separate box and eat it in the car before you go in.
Nixon:Pray with me, Jew Boy!
Kissinger: Ye Mistahghgh President
That’s it. I’m going to bring back the clip on foreskin. Hello riches and bitches, I’m gonna be swimming in it.
No slit unless it’s snipped.
Legs are sealed unless it’s peeled.
Not letting it in if it’s got extra skin.
You’re like an encyclopedia of smut.
She won’t go to bed if she can’t see the head.
Turtleneck sweater and she won’t get wetter.
Can’t bust a nut without that cut
I don’t understand what the point of that was? Did guys back then just go around whipping it out like Louis CK. Check me out losers!
https://youtu.be/Ga0ltXCOfz4
What do you mean, “back then?”
Long live the patriarchy!
Dicks out for
Harambehumanity!Doctors can’t believe he circumcised himself with this one weird trick!
Maybe that’s what Weinstein was doing, proving his faith and purity.
Maybe he’s just really bad at horticulture and thinks that plant need protein?
One of my straight-chick-best-friend’s favorite jokes:
What do you call that useless flap of skin at the end of a penis?
A man.
Gratuitous propaganda, My newest piece, rough but i wanted more Jazz and free flow
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQpqL3gWZIY
So I know how we trash the school system and government schools and teachers’ unions (rightly so), but I just finished watching a doc on a special school of autistic (like, actually autistic) kids and Good Lord in Heaven those Special Ed teachers deserve a special place with double the number of virgins when this song and dance is over. I don’t know how you do that.
Almost everything wrong with public education is attributable to the administrators and the unions and their political enablers. There are many many well intentioned and capable people in the system who labor under the yoke of the parasites.
That’s what I observed working at the prison as well. There are some terrible people, but also a lot of great people. One of the best people I’ve ever worked with was an low-level administrator there. He was the kind of guy who would make sure that the rules were enforced uniformly while also ensuring that the inmates received the services they were legally entitled to. He often chafed with state-level administrators because he insisted on getting shit done the right way, and if he found his superiors to be an impediment to that, he’d take alternate route. He “retired”, by which I mean he was fired in a courteous way that allowed him to collect retirement benefits. I wasn’t privy to the exact reason, but I have it on fairly reliable authority that some state admin got tired of him embarrassing her by actually doing a good job.
It’s an environment where the good workers get a lot of negative attention.
I’ve got a networking meeting tomorrow with other business owners. The political split is about even. Should be entertaining. Maybe I should bring drinks to loosen it up.
Getting close y’all
https://twitter.com/politico/status/940780365907677185
No matter what happens, I won’t be listening to the news tomorrow.
I’m sure someone will bring it to us here.
Aww shit!
https://twitter.com/politico/status/940782050914832385
And Jones has taken the lead.
And the areas still to report will probably lean Jones.
He’s going to win this thing. Probably. I don’t know anymore. But probably.
Ana Navarro just blew her load.
You must have misinterpreted what she said, the lady’s a staunch Republican.
Lol
A tie would be hilarious. Maybe we can get a supreme court case about what whatever the digital equivalent of a hanging Chad is?
I’d be inclined to coin it the “hyuk”
and down goes Moore!
https://twitter.com/politico/status/940782842170232832
Yep, he’s done.
Watching the spectator class do their thing in the twitter replies is a brutal affair.
Looking at the chart of counties that have yet to report… they’re all blue. Heavy blue. Moore is losing.
I mean, he’s a piece of human garbage who should never have any sort of power, but I can’t wait for all the new sexual harassment allegations to come next October.
What’s going to be Franken’s excuse now? If Moore was elected, he’d have an argument to stay but now he’s done. I would love to see his face right now.
I bet no one was pulling for Moore more than Frankenslime™
How about “The election’s over and we don’t need the cover anymore…I’m stayin’?”
We’ll see if he’s got the balls to try it.
I guarantee Franken’s not going anywhere. It was pure theater. He’ll come out in a week or two with some “After much soul searching, I’ve decided that I have much more work to do on behalf of the people of Minnesota blah blah blah…” bullshit.
At least we’ll get to see him grovel a little.
That’s something, right?
Right?
*crickets*
Here’s an absolute shit stain. Good thing for the Dems, that after 40 years those women were able to hold off until after he won the gop primarily to come forward or they wouldn’t have just gained this seat.
Trump won Alabama by 600,000 votes.
13 months later, they’re electing a democrat Senator.
Always remember: There’s a reason why the Republicans are still the Stupid Party.
I mean, if anything, the governor should’ve had Luther Strange’s term run to November 2018. Why the hell did she call for a December 2017 special election?
Does this mean that whoever wins tonight is going to be up for election again in a year?
… what a fucking shitshow. I hate all of these people.
Great question. I’m too lazy to research.
No, 2020. We’re at the midpoint of Sessions term right now.
The establishment GOP wanted nothing to do with Moore.
In order for a Democrat to be elected in alabama, an extraordinary amount of stupid has to be displayed by the GOP.
I don’t want Moore, but I don’t want any Democrat. I guess it is lose-lose.
This was the most awful election of all time until the next time there’s an election.
They seem to be at a tie. Have Federal Senators ever been recalled? Is there an apparatus for that?
Lol Moore really is cooked. *eats popcorn*
Adopt the Sugarfree philosophy and just be entertained while watching the world burn.
Sort of relevant: https://www.popehat.com/2013/12/23/burn-the-fucking-system-to-the-ground/
That was before ClarkHat went insane.
I mean, actually insane.
I really like that. I have never read it before. That’s good stuff
Via 538:
Damning statement from Senate Leadership Fund CEO Steven Law: “This is a brutal reminder that candidate quality matters regardless of where you are running. Not only did Steve Bannon cost us a critical Senate seat in one of the most Republican states in the country, but he also dragged the President of the United States into his fiasco.”
*goes to get more popcorn*
Maybe this gets Trump to kick Bannon further to the curb. Give him an ambassadorship to some island in the South Pacific. He can make it with some island babes and we’ll all be good.
Donnie Two Scoops likes a win. Now he has even more egg on his puckered anus-maw. *eats more popcorn*
His twitter should be fun tomorrow morning.
The flip side of the coin is if the Rep establishment didn’t shit their pants then this defeat wouldn’t have happened.
I dunno. He had a pretty sizeable poll lead before the sex allegations.
There’s a good argument to be had either way. It’s just too bad they couldn’t both lose.
There’s a good argument to be made this was Trump’s fault in the first place for appointing Sessions as AG. Instead of a mediocre Republican Senator in Alabama we got a shitstain of an AG and a Democratic Senator in Alabama.
True but who could have foreseen Sessions’ replacement would have been brought down by alleged kid diddling?
It all makes sense if you play this in the background.
Yep. This should have been a shoo-in.
He has a point. Trump didn’t run on evangelicalism, he courted the gay vote, and he wasn’t a hick. I have no idea how Bannon saw that and figured the country is looking for Roy Moore.
Great Jewsday article, OMWC. I really like these. One question; is this the dreidel holiday?
It is.
I thought so. This actually isn’t sarc; I’d like to hear the backstory of the dreidel.
Maybe I have a thing for ethnic spinning toys! Stop judging me!!!
AFAIK (and this isn’t doing my research like OMWC does, because I’m lazy, but I actually once asked my Rabbi about it, and this is how he explained it (this was 10+ years ago, so my memory isn’t the best)), but it’s from an old English-Irish-German gambling top called a teetotum (or something like that), and we put the equivalent Hebrew letters on it. Back in one of those times where Jews were persecuted for their religion (so, pretty much Europe for its entire history from when we first settled there until the early 20th century), Jews who were studying the Torah would have lookouts to see if the authorities were coming. If they were, Torahs get hid, gambling tops come out.
Thanks JB! That’s very interesting. So they were basically a tool of subterfuge.
I’m purposely not googling this because I’d love to see this be the next Jewsday Tuesday installment.
Stupid party pulls national support for Moore because of 40 year old allegations and loses a Senate seat for their efforts. Republicans are scared children in the face of the SJW mob. Stupid party is stupid. Fuck everyone involved.
Actually, I’m going to make a point I made in a sub-thread here as well, just because.
This is Trump’s fault. 100% Trump’s fault.
We had a mediocre Republican Senator in Jeff Sessions. An opening at Attorney General, where literally anybody (except Giuliani) would’ve been better than him.
Instead now we have a complete piece of shit as Attorney General and a Democratic Senator in Alabama.
I could imagine Chris Christie sucking as bad as either of those assholes, but I get your point.
I hate to say it, but here goes:
Giuliani would have been better than Sessions.
No. No human being could have been worse than Giuliani. Hitler would have been a better AG than Giuliani.
Yeah, IDK. They’re both such insufferable pricks. I guess that describes every AG though. Fed and State. Dicks, all of them.
True. Maybe I have memories of him being a not-horrible mayor. I have no memory of his prosecutor days.
Trump is only good for people like us in narrow categories. Regulation, administrative state, taxes.
The guy is a 1990s democrat. It’s best not to forget that.
Well, say goodbye to even milquetoast tax reform. The Evil Party always wins, in the end.
All hail Doug Jones, hero of the Senate.
What’s the split now?
The country, right in its ass.
The politico link in rick’s Twitter post above.
I learned long ago that there is no Stupid Party and there is no Evil Party. Both parties are stupid and evil.
Yep. Evil/stupid vs stupid/evil.
Milquetoast tax reform could possibly get jammed through. From ballotpedia:
This link will reward your patience.
You never disappoint HM
Thank you for that informative how to video. I feel like that will help me up my game at work.
Clearly a vote for gun rights restrictions and expanded abortion rights.
I would assume he would want to get reelected and going after guns in AL would be Hari Kari, but he might figure he’s out next election no matter what he does, so he could go full prog.
Hara Kiri. But I get your point.
We speak English here.
#Nopedants
Seppuku
GOPpukku.
Bukkake
Osama Bin Jizzin? I’m supposed to be at work. *Sigh
I’m sure it’s just “cornstarch”.
That or Elmer’s.
Alabamians are gonna love it. They just had no idea. Time to get enlightened.
If any of you Glibs are still up, I have a situation that ties back to the morning thread about private charity.
A girl that my wife works with house burned to the ground this morning. My wife has sympathy and wants me to give money to her. I don’t want to. The girl is an addict who lost her kids to a man who isn’t much better off than she is a few months ago.
The girl needs help right now, I understand that. The girl has needed help for years though, and she needs the kind of help I can’t provide. I’m not realy in a dilema. I’m going to give money to her.
I’m just gonna have to deal with my wife being upset with me that I didn’t.
See if your wife can come up with a way to help that doesn’t involve giving the other chick money. It’s not like you are heartless, just pragmatic.
SP, I have played this game many times before. Compassionate Me has extended a helping hand to single mother’s in bad situations many a time..
If you would care to hear a story-
Back in May of this year, another girl my wife worked with had an abusive boyfriend. My wife and I had been babysitting her kids for awhile before the incident I’m about to describe happened. My son and her son had become friends and my wife and I happily took care of her kids while she worked/and/or/lied about working/was going out getting fucked up.
The closest I have ever come to killing a man was earlier this year when abusive boyfriend found out that his kids were at my house while his girlfriend was out doing whatever. Said abusive boyfriend called my wife and threatened the lives of her, me, and all the kids in the house. He also said he was on his way to my house to carry out said threat.
I sent everyoneone in the house away and called the cops. I explained the situation the cops when they arrived. I also got my AR pit of the safe and loaded it with man killing rounds. The cop took my statement and hung around for about 10 minutes. I explained to the cop when he left, that if said boyfriend showed up on my propertu, I was going to kill him. The cop left anyway.
in the end, the guy was pulled over on his way to my house and taken to jail for war rents outstanding.
This particular incident, that put my family and I in danger, males me very reluctant to offer help to people who aren’t willing to help themselves.
Oh, I get that. We have had experiences like that in my extended family over the years. Happily, my Dad, my five brothers, and my adult son are all badasses.
And now there would be OMWC to contend with, as well. People generally don’t want to take him on. He is old, and fights dirty to make up for it.
You have five brothers. I expect you to be something of a badass yourself. I have four brothers and one sister. My sister is one tough bitch after growing up with us. She learned how to fight hard amd heavy at an early age.
THB, my sister still kinda scared me. I wouldn’t fight her today
Red Cross will help people out – at least helped my GF when *our apartment burned down.
*I didn’t need or take any charity myself.
Ladies and gentlemenEveryone, I give you the Peak Derp of the Day.Sheesh.
“Chilldren! Chilldren! Chilldren are the fuuuturrrre!”
So which party is more useless: the Republicans or the LP?
Hello majority Leader Chuck Schumer. Libertarian moment!
What are you talking about? Maybe later, but not right now.
Thicc, White girls
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFk6-Mn-8yg
BZZZZZZT! Incorrect! That video is squarshed. Them chicks were leggy and my 1970’s fantasies are seared onto my brain-pan like Hiroshima sidewalk shadows. Next up for Yusef – Jamie Summers was not the hottest girl featured on “The Bionic Woman”. First the Reps lose the Senate and now this?
And yes, yes I did prefer the brunette…
Abject blasphemy. Agnetta (sp? who cares) was a goddess.
Just an opinion. I thought that she was more attainable, and hotter. *starts fingering off gloves*
Want to make sure this gets seen. Basically extreme Hillary supporters not only investigated her email but Trump as well. The texts.
I believe that this is referred to as “blow-back”?
If true, this is a big fucking deal!