Office Manager Mohammed: Some INFIDEL has complained to HR about my enthusiasm in praise of ALLAH! And that I must speak in a more civil tone, very well. I must cast blame on my Assistant Yusef, his efforts at guiding me through this Hell of a workplace, while helpful, often get me in trouble, especially with the Local Authorities.
Yusef: I didn’t tell you to yell!
OMM: Then why do you yell now?
Yusef: I’m not yelling
OMM: YES! YOU ARE YELLING!
Yusef: No…I’m not
OMM: This is not Abbott and Costello! You work for me, I work for ALLAH! We make profits. Did you not buy your Woman a Kia?
Yusef: Oh yes! Praise ALLAH for the Kia, and the gas mileage that the Prophet has given me!
OMM: Very well, in the future you will cease giving me bad advice, at the risk of your INFIDEL HEAD!
Yusef: May I clean your spittle bucket now?
::OMM gambols off to his waiting Mercedes 500 SL::
Comments
55 responses to “Office Manager Mohammed Gets Written Up”
I’M SO CONFUSED I’M YELLING
For the love of Jesus, mind the gamboling.
He Gambols Because He can
Buy the gambol, take the ride.
logging in to this site is always a gambol.
SP! you rock!
Yes, yes, it’s true. I do. Thank you for noticing! 😉
Ha! Well met, comrade Iosip! I hope you enjoy your Kia!
i have Two, a 2001 and a 2015
OFFICE MANAGER MOHAMMED IS HAVING TROUBLE GETTING DOCUMENT MANAGEMENT COMPANY ACCOUNT TEAM FOR FACE TO FACE MEETING SINCE LAST ACCOUNT EXEC WAS BEHEADED. IF IRON MOUNTAIN WON’T COME TO OMM, OMM WILL GO TO IRON MOUNTAIN.
BUT THE WOMEN! CAREFUL TO NOT OFFEND ALLAH!
/25% no capsAloolloolloololloooo!
Has anyone actually managed to BSoD Windows 10? I’ve had a couple hard lockups in the two years I’ve owned my machine, sometimes have to end and restart explorer, but never a blue screen.
In almost 20 years of using Windows I’ve BSOD’ed once. It’s not any easy thing to do. It’s overhyped by people who don’t know how to manage their machines.
I have tried to break every version, I’m a Windows Partner, And W7 is still the ultimate Windows OS
Until 2020.
I get Grandkids starting Thursday and going through Sunday, 7 all together, Total fun!
You’re old…but then again if I had kids when was 18, and those kids had kids at 18 I’d only be two years off from being a gandpa..
24 and 28 for my Kids, and they are now 25 and 29, have em young and have fun with em while YOU are young, now I’m(mostly) free at 54 yrs old
YMMV
Yeah, my dad had 5 kids by 30. I’m 34 no kids. Fuck, I wanna be a dad, but that shit ain’t played out for me….My niece that I helped raise is 16. At one point she couldn’t go a day without talking to me (literally if she hadn’t talked to me she would call me), but other things happen to interfere when you’re just an uncle.
I had that with some Nieces/ nephews, but it helps to be there for them, Be there,
Oh, I am. But, now that my dad is dead, and my niece is living with my mom and her new boyfriend and I’ve been having medical problems…all kind of WTF situations.
Ahhhh,Life responds, I have some shit stuff right now as well, and my Parents are gone, but be true to YOU first, the rest will take care of itself,
B
OT: A STEVE SMITH Stimulus Christmas Movie. Just watched it on Netflix; thought it was good, but then again I’m drunk.
I was flipping through the latest issue of the Playa Vista Magazine, which is a fluff magazine for the new development near my kids school and YOU GUYS, it has a piece on TEEN VOGUE SUMMIT.
We get such choice phrases as “continues to incisively pair political commentary with fashion-fowardness” for Teen Vogue summit somewhere in the devlopment.
“The morning began with a call to action as Yara Shahidi of Black-Ish interviewed” HILLARY llary who said a bunch of dumb stuff.
Then, MAXINE WATERS. “She led the crowd in changing Impeach 45.” LOLOLOL
Admission was 549 dollars for two days, just in case you were wondering if they were conning teenagers out of their rich parents’ money.
I never saw any of this, which just shows they blend in with the rest of the hipster marxists in this area.
Test them with Mythical Libertarian Woman’s teen vogue covers!
Which are awesome BTW!
as the only other person here who puts their photoshop skills on display, I’m impressed by her work.
well, Scruffy has done all the top hatting as well.
Well do some art for My articles then!
🙂
So you want Office Manager Mohammad as a hat?
ONLY A MOOSLIM HAT!
and I am adding this text to make sure I don’t hit 75% All caps
Oh. I was thinking the Old English Musselman as a hat. Way to to ruin the creative process!
By the way, only here can you get that as joke from someone who has been drinking for the last 4hours.
6 hours now
and yes I want the hat!
lol. If Only! It happened two weeks ago, or I’d wander over and scatter them around. I’m sure at least a few would get suckered, since they’re brilliant.
I get Grandkids starting Thursday and going through Sunday, 7 all together, The Fudge is going, the treats are ready, lights are up, and a snow machine. this time last Year the wife was Dying from MRSA and ended up losing her left foot, things are way better now, New Year, New foot!
Gonna be a Good Christmas, Merry to all!
This I don’t get…….
Ha! Well met, comrade Iosip
Who? Cool name but…..
i assumed it was a version of “Joseph”, and that so was “Yusef”
He’s a liar! He is Bob the Builder!
Bob’s helper is Wendy, my Wife’s name, and we have the Talking Dolls
Kinky.
It is in fact all the same, I was just ribbing ya
So, the tax bill passed. I’m inclined to think we ought to cut spending before cutting taxes.
That said, this bill will save me as much as 5k next year. Hard to argue wth that.
Some good articles at NR about now that this is out of the way, Trump should take a look at welfare reform. http://www.nationalreview.com/article/454785/welfare-reform-huge-risks-huge-potential-rewards-president-trump
May not happen before the midterms but who knows.
Yuen.
It is one thing for you to not announce something as serious as you did and not announce it louder amount friends.
Am I correct and saying you wife is getting Alan amputation tomorrow?I’ve had much beer so if In wrong excuse me bit didn’t you say that a few threads up ?
Im sorry. Be year new foot.
Good for you and best of all good for your wife.
Nest of
Ok I quit.
Best of not best of
Hi Yusef! Long-time lurker, first time commentor. I had a 2000 KIA Rio that drove pretty well for what it was but a few years in it started getting electrically wonky. Like locking me out when the engine was running (you should have seen the MacGiver I pulled off in the middle of nowhere with a disassembled windshield wiper and my jack-knife at -20 C…) Another time I left the window down a little so it was merely a bootlace and a dozen tries to lasso the lock nubbin. It just became one thing after another, changing the main fuse,etc. It finally died one more time and I gave it away. Not a speck of rust. Fuck KIA and the horse they probably should have rode in on.
Oh and DEATH TO THE KOREAN CAR-MAKING INFIDELS! ALLLOOOOOLLLOOLLOLLHA!
I brought my daughter to Father-Daughter day at the office and OMM confiscated her for his harem! ‘I HAD NO IDEA YOU HAD THIS YOUNG, BEAUTIFUL, DELICATE FLOWER. TAKE HER!’
Hah! I think it’s neat that some ideas become a “thing” so organically on this site. Hat’s off to Yusef!
What kind of Jihadi allows an infidel to get away with complaining to HR? You’ll never get those 72 virgins at this rate.
the kind that doesn’t want a Catbutt or worse…..