ZARDOZ’S AFTERNOON LINKS

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ IS A BIT EARLY THIS WEEK, GIVING THE GIFT OF THE LINK TO HIS CHOSEN ONES, SO THAT THEY MAY BE LIFTED FROM BRUTALITY. WHY? ZARDOZ HAS A RELATIVE COMING TO VISIT…(AND NO SMART REMARKS FROM YOU, MR. LIZARD!)

COUSIN DEADCOMET

SO RECEIVE THE GIFT OF THE LINK….

  • IMPEACHMENT IMMINENT! BUT NOT THE PRESIDENT AMERICAN PROG BRUTALS HAD HOPED FOR.
  • ZARDOZ WONDERS IF BRITISH BRUTAL HAS GROWN A SPINE?
  • ZARDOZ IS PLEASED…MAKING FOOD MORE EXPENSIVE FOR BRUTALS! EXCEPTING, OF COURSE, ZARDOZ’S DELIVERIES OF GRAIN TO THE VORTEX.
  • ZARDOZ SEES THAT (((THEY))) HAVE GOTTEN TO YOUR BRUTAL LEADERS!

GO FORTH AND COMMENT! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

Comments

559 responses to “ZARDOZ’S AFTERNOON LINKS”

  1. Whoa. ZARDOZ on a weekday! Groovy.

    “Wiggins et.al. examined the differences between preferences for individual body parts, finding that those who preferred large breasts tended to be non-nurturant and independent while those who preferred small breasts tended to be religious fundamentalists, mildly depressed, and nurturant.”

    – “Correlates of heterosexual somatic preference”, Wiggins et. al., Journal of Personality and Social Psychology

    https://archive.is/7yLX1

    2, 3, 25, and-oh-my-Lord 27, 28, and hey 30, there’s something intensely interesting directly behind you that you should turn around to look at!

    1. Chipwooder

      41 and 3 look like the same girl.

    2. Heroic Mulatto

      42…holy shit! A black woman actually graced the digital pages of the Chive!

        1. DEG

          This will be a busy afternoon.

          1. commodious spittoon

            Busty?

          2. DEG

            That too.

        2. Tundra

          Mmm. 6.

        3. Chipwooder

          31 runs away with it

          1. RBS

            Is it the eyebrows?

          2. Tundra

            Personality.

          3. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

            fuuuu

          1. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

            I was expecting pretty eyes, but even after you said it I was still struck by them.

        4. Heroic Mulatto

          Damn, Ms. 22! You have the AC on or are you just glad to see me?

        5. Mad Scientist

          Gulp.

          WOULD.

        6. Michael

          More, please.

        7. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

          I know that was for HM, but I’m gonna play with it while he’s not looking.

      1. But Enough About Me

        A black woman actually graced the digital pages of the Chive!

        You call that “black”? I call that “me” after a single day of tanning. Well, ‘ceptin’ for my moobs which are smaller than her boobs. Thankfully.

    3. DEG

      I am happy I decided to finish my workday from home.

    4. The Other Kevin

      I stand by my prior statement. These older galleries are much higher quality than the new ones. Thank you, Q, for your tireless research.

    5. Tundra

      What if you like them in all kinds of sizes? What does that make you (besides happy)?

    6. Bobarian LMD

      “Correlates of heterosexual somatic preference”

      AKA Sarc Vs. John, 40 post flame war.

    7. kinnath

      Hips and waist dude. It’s all about the hips and waist. Breasts should be proportion to those. Skin stretched over sacks of saline or silicone is pointless.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Sometimes, it can be very pointed

    8. But Enough About Me

      Why does #1 look so familiar?

    9. Scruffy Nerfherder

      There are those of us who like a C cup.

      WE EXIST

      1. DEG

        C Cups are cute.

      2. But Enough About Me

        I’m old enough to remember when C cups were considered “Playboy Playmate” or “pornstar” size.

        Now my wife’s a C cup. She was a B when we first married. She hasn’t gained any weight. ???

        1. Just give proper thanks to G-d and go about your business.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            What is the proper berakhah for titties?

  2. Playa Manhattan

    Rubashkin is a scumbag.

    1. straffinrun

      Following Q’s list, this is the loneliest number.

  3. “(((THEY))) HAVE GOTTEN TO YOUR BRUTAL LEADERS!”

    (((We))) are the puppeteers, something ZARDOZ should know a great deal about.

    1. ZARDOZ

      ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS (((CHOSEN ONE)))…

      NO COMMENT. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

  4. Heroic Mulatto

    Tonight my wife is making Phở.

    1. C. Anacreon

      For real, or faux Phở?

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        As Guy Fieri would say, “real deal.”

        Also why does Fieri always look like he’s 1 minute away from dying from sudden cardiac arrest?

        1. Chipwooder

          Most likely because he potentially IS one minute away from dying of sudden cardiac arrest at any given time.

        2. mexican sharpshooter

          That’s pretty much how celebrity chefs seem to look. Except Giada DeLarentis. Yum.

          1. Michael

            Having met a few, I am well convinced that chefs – celebrity or otherwise – consume roughly ten percent of all the cocaine on the US market.

          2. Playa Manhattan

            There’s something off about her. And no, it’s not just the freakishly large head.

          3. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

            Are you sure? Because she looks like the lovechild of Mr. Mackey and…I dunno, someone hot.

          4. Chipwooder

            I don’t know, I think the freakishly large head plays at least a big part of it.

            Still would, though.

          5. mexican sharpshooter

            She’s far too skinny to be a chef. That’s why her head appears to be large.

          6. RBS

            Why are y’all looking at her head?

          7. Chipwooder

            I didn’t intend to, but once her candy apple-type head is pointed out to you, you can never NOT notice it again.

          8. mexican sharpshooter

            Just look down her shirt like a reasonable human being, Chipwooder.

          9. Playa Manhattan
          10. The Last American Hero

            No love for Katie Lee?

    2. AlexinCT

      Nice man… Beef, shrimp, or pork?

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        Pork, from what I under stand.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Pork bone and Knorr?

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            Of course, she’s at the market now buying a bunch of Asian “w”egetables.

          2. Gadfly

            These euphemisms…

    3. Phởking awesome.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        That’s the plan for after dinner.

        1. AlexinCT

          I see what you did there…

    4. Chipwooder

      Look at Mr. Showoff with his accent marks!

    5. Juvenile Bluster

      That’s cultural appropriation!

      (wait, it was sushi and banh mi that the Oberlin students thought was cultural appropriation. But they’d probably think this is too)

      1. Playa Manhattan

        His wife is appropriating her own culture!!!!

        1. Chipwooder

          Wasn’t there something linked here recently that accused Americans of various ethnicities of appropriation if they weren’t actually born in the old country? Something idiotic like that?

          1. Juvenile Bluster

            That’s what I was referring to. About Asian-Americans appropriating Asian culture, somehow.

          2. Heroic Mulatto

            My wife isn’t even a US citizen!

          3. Gadfly

            So your relationship counts as a “foreign entanglement”. Your wife should be careful, I hear those often escalate into an “American invasion”.

            Sorry, I’ll show myself out now…

          4. grrizzly

            Doing the job Americans won’t do?

          5. Not Adahn

            Then you’re guilty of fetishizing, exoticism, and orientalism.

          6. SHE’S USING YOU FOR A GREEN CARD!!!!!11!!1ONEONE!!1 NEXT THING YOU KNOW, SHE’LL HAVE 38 RELATIVES HERE!

            /Brietbart

          7. Heroic Mulatto

            So your relationship counts as a “foreign entanglement”.

            No lie, my buddy, as part of his clearance, had to report to his employer when I got married to a foreign national.

          8. Heroic Mulatto

            Doing the job Americans won’t do?

            I, too, bemoan the lack of work ethic among our youth.

          9. “No lie, my buddy, as part of his clearance, had to report to his employer when I got married to a foreign national.”

            Been there. Done that. Sucks balls.

          10. But Enough About Me

            You’re confusing the report with the honeymoon.

          11. Caput Lupinum

            Is it appropriationof my own culture if I make something no-one wants anyway? I have to bake some bara brith later, and it’s not like anyone wants a boiled cake.

      2. Heroic Mulatto

        Nah, we’re good. My wife is harder to understand than this guy.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          It’s easy to understand her when she’s waving a razor around.

          1. AlexinCT

            It’s why I am now single brah… you can put up with crazy for a while while they are hawt, but it does get old..

            Hope you are a better man than me HM.

          2. But Enough About Me

            Wow. That chick chews scenery like Meryl Streep on meth.

    6. Raston Bot

      ^Phở King

      1. The Last American Hero

        The fish balls at that place are awesome. Best Pan-Asian food in Tacoma.

    7. Tonal languages are a violation of the NAP.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        Change that to ergative and you’d be correct.

    8. Heroic Mulatto

      Phở those curious as to how it came out:




      1. Yumm. Make some for me and I will fix that cabinet door for you.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          Why? The dog is just going to break it again.

      2. Playa Manhattan

        The beef blood is for…. later… right?

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          “Beef” blood.

          Yeah, let’s go with that.

      3. 1) How short is your wife?

        2) You have a cabinet door that needs fixing.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          How tall is your “wife”?

          Pics of your kitchen please.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            It’s where I kept the dog food until the dogs found out.

        2. Heroic Mulatto

          4′ 9″

      4. DEG

        Looks good.

      5. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

        Looks freaking delicious

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          The stuff on top is fried garlic and bacon.

          1. Playa Manhattan

            Bacon… is that traditional?

          2. Heroic Mulatto

            Bacon, per se, no. Cracklings would be more traditional.

  5. State capitalism claims ever more victims.

    https://archive.is/LfZJa

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      It’s a shame we have to devote all our resources into solving the most important political crisis of our time, the Palestinian plight, so that we have nothing left to help those poor Venezuelans.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        You damn well know that ALL the world’s problems stem from the Palestinian plight, and thus it must be fixed!

        Alternatively:

        They have the same (((source))). (I’m not sure how and I don’t want it in my google history, but it’s a good bet a number of people worked up a model where Jews are at fault for Venezuela)

        1. Juvenile Bluster

          Alt-Right: Jews are responsible for Communism, so it’s (((their))) fault.

          Alt-Left: Jews are responsible for world banking and capitalism, so it’s (((their))) fault.

          Easy.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            (((Y’all))) prolly shouldn’t have murdered the baby Jesus. It’s right around Christmas and people are feisty about their Baby Jesi.

          2. Not Adahn

            Didn’t we see a picture of Baby Jessi a week or so ago?

          3. jesse.in.mb

            Baby Jessi sounds like my meth-addled, trailer-trash, pole-dancin’ alter ego.

          4. But Enough About Me

            “Alter”?

          5. jesse.in.mb

            “Alter”?

            *Cries, does meth, does meth, queues up Lenny Kravitz’s “American Woman”, mounts pole*

            YES ALTER, what do I look like someone with an i in his name!?

        2. Bobarian LMD

          (((They))) came up with state capitalism, and state capitalism did in Venezuela.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      They had to specify that they weren’t killed in self-defense????

      What was their first clue? The mass unmarked graves?

      1. AlexinCT

        He committed suicide by shooting himself in the back of the head…. twice.

    3. AlexinCT

      These social justice revolutions tend to involve a fuckton of eggs needing to be broken for that omelet the people never get to eat..

    4. Juvenile Bluster

      Sitting in a hotel restaurant in Caracas before a plateful of eggs, the policeman, a veteran of Caracas’s meanest streets, said to surprise criminals the police plan to strike operations swiftly, at 4 a.m., when those being targeted are still asleep. “Imagine the danger,” he said. “We can’t wait for an arrest warrant.”

      He resented the concerns rights groups show about the killings of criminals in the barrios. “They worry about their rights and not ours, when we are the ones who get killed,” he said.

      The good news for this guy is that once Venezuela completely collapses, he’s sure to get a job as President of a police union in a big city in the US. He’s got the lingo down.

    5. Rhywun

      Who saw this coming.

  6. C. Anacreon

    Donald Trump, Orrin Hatch, and a rabbi walk into a bank……..

    1. Is there a 55 gallon drum of lube involved?

  7. The Late P Brooks

    those who preferred small breasts tended to be religious fundamentalists, mildly depressed, and nurturant.

    “You can tell all that, just by feeling the bumps on my head? Incredible.”

  8. jesse.in.mb

    ZARDOZ WONDERS IF BRITISH BRUTAL HAS GROWN A SPINE?

    Perhaps she just needs a romance-novel-cover plumber?

    1. That…that…is EXCELLENT!

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      That’s, kinda cool?

  9. C. Anacreon

    A coworker gave me this as a gag Xmas gift yesterday.

    Seems like the perfect person to send to stop the Terrifying Skull-like Dead Comet!

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      Dunno why but I laughed…right here in the office….in front parents….who pay me.

    2. OFFICE MANAGER MOHAMMED REJECTS THIS SINFUL GRAVEN IMAGE AND ORDERS YOU TO REPORT TO BEHEADING.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        ‘But OMM we’re beheading more people than we can replace!’

        ‘You challenge my authority?! Allah is not pleased. Chop, chop for YOU!’

        1. Sounds a lot like old Iowahawk’s…Z-Man

      2. Yusef drives a Kia

        Ever see that Cracked article about NC? He’s always running, and wearing Brown

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’ve giving a Countdown to the End of the Donald Trump Presidency calendar and a copy of the US Army Survival Guide

  10. DEG

    IMPEACHMENT IMMINENT! BUT NOT THE PRESIDENT AMERICAN PROG BRUTALS HAD HOPED FOR.

    American Proglodytes will look on this, not knowing where Peru is or anything about what is going on there, and wonder aloud why Peru can impeach their president but Americans can’t.

  11. Juvenile Bluster

    So, the rest of the world seems to be crowing about the strongly worded letter that the UN is going to send Trump over the Jerusalem recognition.

    I will vote for Trump in 2020 if he withdraws us from the UN (or at least kills their funding) and kicks them out of NYC. He won’t do either thing, which is a shame.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      A small part of me wishes that I had voted for Trump.

      I wish I could claim partial ownership of this wrecking ball.

      1. jesse.in.mb

        You and Miley?

        Say what you will about her, but like that she’s bringing back Dadaism.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          925 million views? if you’re gonna lie, at least make it somewhat believable.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            Is this like getting rick-rolled?

    2. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

      The fact that he even floated it during the debates was worth a vote.

  12. Raston Bot

    only the Chicago PD could make me like Facebook..

    A department source said covert accounts set up by investigators were shut down once Facebook learned they involved law enforcement. About 50 people have been arrested so far and 18 guns have been seized, officials said at a news conference during which they repeatedly blasted Facebook.

    http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/ct-met-facebook-drugs-guns-20171221-story.html

    “I absolutely think Facebook has a responsibility to monitor this and for this very reason,” Riccio said. “There’s other illegal activities — I want to point out this is phase one — there’s other illegal activities going on on Facebook. We’re looking at potentially human trafficking, things of that nature as well. There’s a lot of tentacles going out here.

    “The things that are being trafficked on their site are killing people in Chicago,” he added. “I think they have an obligation to take steps to make sure that stuff doesn’t happen. If any other organization was putting guns or allowing guns and drugs to be trafficked onto the streets of the city, I think we’d take action and citizens would expect us to take some action.

    “I think they have the same obligation as any other business,” Riccio said.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      That’s incredibly fucking lazy.

      Keyboard warriors. Lemme go digging for their new badge.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Chicago Facebook Squad:

        1. Grumbletarian

          There is nothing not funny about that picture.

        2. Yusef drives a Kia

          Office Manager Mohammed: This is met with approval, When can you report for INOCTR… I mean Work?

    2. Heroic Mulatto

      Go fuck yourself, Riccio,

    3. invisible finger

      Every police department holds people for ransom oney but it’s everybody else (!) that’s doing the trafficking.

    4. Bobarian LMD

      If Facebook kicked the CPD off, how much did drug and gun running decrease by?

  13. bacon-magic

    Brutal links!

    1. LINKS FOR BRUTALS!

  14. “I absolutely think Facebook has a responsibility to monitor this and for this very reason”

    FUCK. OFF. SLAVER.

    1. Whoa….threading failure!

      Or am I going Brooks!?

      1. Mad Scientist

        Never go full Brooks!

  15. Pan Zagloba

    Dammit, America, stop allowing your idiots to spread their idiocy worldwide!

    Row over French anti-racist lands minister in mess

    A French campaigner on race and feminist issues has landed the government of President Emmanuel Macron in an embarrassing mess, after she was deselected from an official advisory committee apparently because of her outspoken views.

    Ms Diallo describes herself as an intersectional feminist, which means that she sees feminism as part of a wider fight to defend the interests of black people and Muslims against a white European ascendancy.

    But if intersectionality remains a minority interest in France, it is nonetheless a growing force, with momentum that comes from its wider acceptance in the US and other countries. Ms Diallo, who now appears on a popular TV chat show, is an attractive and articulate advocate.

  16. Michael

    Vice has a pretty good video up on the electricity situation in Puerto Rico. Most surprisingly it isn’t chock full of DRUMPFHITLER!!!1!!11!!!!

    https://news.vice.com/en_us/article/kznwwa/why-its-so-hard-to-get-the-power-back-on-in-puerto-rico

  17. OK, since Jesse’s in the audience (everyone else’s opinion matters too, just not as much):

    The gay-for-pay phenomenon in porn is something that has always baffled me. Isn’t the market for gay porn significantly smaller than the one for straight porn and would thus have much lower salaries? Why would someone elect to be gay-for-pay if they were getting paid less? Maybe my analysis is missing something so I turn it over to the commentariat to rip it apart.

    1. DEG

      From what I’ve read, it’s very difficult for a straight guy to get into porn. “Gay for pay” can sometimes be a stepping stone to straight porn.

      1. AlexinCT

        That guy is funny..

    2. Pan Zagloba

      I’m guessing that, while market is smaller, so is the supply of talent, so it evens out?

    3. invisible finger

      If the supply is lower than the low demand, the pay won’t be lower. After all, for gay male porn, you need twice as many men as you would in its straight counterpart.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        At least twice as many. At least.

    4. Playa Manhattan

      Why would I work the night shift at McDonalds when they’re hiring at the corporate office?

      Rhetorical

    5. Playa Manhattan

      How you pay off your student loans is nobody’s business but yours, Q.

      1. If you see a blue ghost at hiscockconvertedme(dot)com it’s someone else.

    6. invisible finger

      Do gay donkey shows exist?

      1. Certainly not, that would be a crime against nature. Straight donkey shows only please.

      2. jesse.in.mb

        I believe Vice has video from a town where the dudes all fuck donkeys to avoid impregnating their womenfolk, Asses of the Caribbean IIRC

        1. AlexinCT

          Fantasy can’t compete with real life for crazy shit man…

        2. Chipwooder

          Just from a practical standpoint, I would think fucking a donkey (as opposed to being fucked by a donkey) would be rather hazardous compared to, say, a goat, what with the powerful back kick and all.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            I hadn’t put that much thought into donkey fucking, Chip. Although I think we all learned out lesson about getting fucked by equines from Mr. Hands, no?

          2. Chipwooder

            Well, I’ve already wasted such a high percentage of my life on stupid pursuits – might as well go for the gusto at this point, no?

          3. He *really* needed that 55 gallon drum of lube. Well, and a cast iron colon.

          4. Chipwooder

            I could have used that cast-iron colon the last time I ate ghost peppers.

          5. AlexinCT

            They used to have donkey farms in South America back in the day.. I remember being down there and some local recommending it to me as a great way to relieve stress… And it was cheap and he even had this one donkey he swore was the best gal in the stable…

            We joked about that episode for years after, but I am glad I never took him up on the offer even if it was to tell the story with more details…

          1. AlexinCT

            That is some crazy shit there man…

        3. Heroic Mulatto

          I’ll also say, Vice was at its best when it was just videos of White people going “Look at this crazy shit brown people do!”

          1. jesse.in.mb

            Dark. Accurate, but dark.

    7. Understood, but due to the enormously larger market for straight porn I’d think that the supply for male actors would be larger than the supply for gay male actors, but apparently I’m wrong. TBH, I’ve never quite understood the economics of straight male porn actors in any case; it seems no matter how large someone’s dick is, or how skilled he is, or how ripped he is, there would be someone equally qualified that would do it for nothing. IE; banging the hot actress is the compensation.

      1. Chipwooder

        I think most of them get into it by being the boyfriend of one of the girls.

      2. Pan Zagloba

        Isn’t that basically today’s industry? In the olden days, being buddy with producer/director would help, but nowadays, it’s the ladies who count.

      3. C. Anacreon

        I’d do it for free, even if only to be treated by the ‘fluffer’.

        Unfortunately, I don’t think I’d last past the fluffer.

        1. Chipwooder

          I thought fluffers were a myth?

          1. C. Anacreon

            No, usually a Miss, but sometimes a Mrs. Stop lisping.

          2. AlexinCT

            Glad you are doing the research for us brah.

          3. Number.6

            Yes and no.

            I have no idea about current shoots, but a two-day shoot back in the 80’s might get 3 or 4 male artists and 7 or 8 female artistes filming 8 hour days. Back then, it was easier to fake money shots, but the guys were still busy and had to be solid for hours at a time. A 20-minute scene is usually about 2 hours of preparation, continuity (yes, continuity), make-up, fucking around with lighting, etc. and by the second day, everyone just wants the whole thing to be wrapped up, the talent paid, and go home for a beer, a shower and vegging out with their real partners.

            If a guy has had to be ‘on’ for 4 or 5 hours with a short break in the middle – and no viagra/cialis/medical help – sometimes they needed some encouragement, on an as-needed basis, so yeah, fluffing happened. Often, it was a make-up girl or someone who wanted a chance in front of the camera.

      4. jesse.in.mb

        I seem to recall a lot of what makes for a good porn star is being able to stay hard, last through incredibly tiresome repeated takes and cum on command. Not everyone has it in them.

        1. Chipwooder

          I see what you did there.

        2. Playa Manhattan

          Not everyone has enough drugs in them.

      5. DEG

        Another thing I’ve read: The hardest part of being a male porn star is being able to perform on queue and in front of a crowd of people. Viagra probably helps with that, but apparently it is hard to find a guy that can perform on queue. Seymour Butts says:

        The most difficult part about being a male porn star is the hard-on. They have to get it up and off on cue essentially and all the while in between maintain [it] for two to three hours. This must be done under the most difficult of circumstances, including not being attracted to their female co-star, having sex in the most uncomfortable settings, i.e. on hard surfaces, cold/hot weather, etc., and/or having to stop frequently for direction or shot setups. They have to be in great shape in order to perform. It all adds up to being the most difficult job in porn, in my opinion.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          They have to be in great shape in order to perform.

          -1 Ron Jeremy

        2. Playa Manhattan

          I can get it up on cue. The rest happens when it happens.

        3. antisthenes

          on queue? I think that counts as a John-o.

          1. DEG

            Whoa… I screwed that up.

      6. Number.6

        Back in the day before AIDS made it over the pond, a lot of European male artists were functionally gay, in that they might or might not have been actually gay, but they’d put their dicks anywhere they needed to to make some money. The pay for guys has always been lower, unless you were also the director and/or somewhat famous, the work is somewhat arduous, and for the most part, in straight porn, nobody’s very interested in more than about 5% of your body mass,

        It should be unsurprising (as it wasn’t to me) that while female porn personnel are (somewhat justifiably) stereotyped as being flaky and somewhat maladjusted, the guys are sometimes even nuttier.

        1. Mr Lizard

          “sometimes even nuttier.”

          Indeed…

    8. grrizzly

      The aggregate demand for seeing men in porn is higher among gay men than among straight women despite the fact that the latter group is a magnitude larger. That tells you something about men.

      1. Toxic masculinity in action.

    9. jesse.in.mb

      Back in the day American fishermen were catching incredibly high quality tuna just to turn it into canned tuna and cat food because American consumers had no taste for sashimi. At some point American fishermen and Japanese fisherman figured this out and we started selling high quality tuna in Tokyo’s markets and they started offloading all of their cat-food grade tuna on American markets.

      1. So as the typical degenerate straight porn consumer, I’m the endangered species by-catch in this particular metaphor?

        1. jesse.in.mb

          I’m not even sure anymore. I think you’re incidentally getting cat food while you’re consuming pussy.

          1. As long as it’s Fancy Feast I’m ok with it.

          2. jesse.in.mb

            God, you and Colin Farrell

        2. Playa Manhattan

          It couldn’t be more clear:

          You smell like cheap tuna.

          1. Nephilium

            Not Adahn, I knew there was something I liked about you. One of my favorite web comics.

          2. kbolino

            It is good, but damn I felt a little old when one of the recent comics announced it was the 16th anniversary of the strip. I started reading it before the first anniversary. Where have the years gone?!?

          3. Nephilium

            I’m amused by all the strips and jokes about getting old. It may be because I’m about the same age as the artist, so it hits home for me.

          4. The ladies love it. And by ladies I mean feral cats stalking the neighborhood.

    10. Bobarian LMD

      My understanding is by being a straight popular actor, a high demand is created in the gay porn business and therefore a lot more money can be made for someone willing.

  18. DEG

    Or am I going Brooks!?

    I don’t see anything wrong with going Brooks.

    1. Stop! All of you stop! This is madness!

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Dropkick me Jesus, through the goalposts of life just came on, courtesy of spotify.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Or am I going Brooks!?

    Endeavour to persevere.

  21. Rufus the Monocled

    If you were an herb which one would you be?

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      Cumin.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        Wrong moment to be drinking coffee.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          I was drinking coffee when I typed it.

      2. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

        I would’ve assumed herbes de provence. Because you’re a blend.

        /kinda feel bad for making that joke.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          You should be. Go masturbate.

          1. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

            Done and done. Now, why did you ask me to do that again?

        2. Rufus the Monocled

          Actually, I actually did this:

          Wife texts: Rigatoni tonight?

          Me: RigaPETER?

          Wife: Are you ever serious?

          1. AlexinCT

            Tell her you never joke about getting it…

          2. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

            Riga Tony is the toughest meanest sonovabitch on the Baltic.

      1. I should have included this.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      Mountain Dew.

    3. Chipwooder

      Turmeric, because no one can really figure out what it is that I do

      1. Playa Manhattan

        You look like you’re doing a lot, but actually do nothing?

      2. Rufus the Monocled

        Parsley: Because I’m harmless yet so essential delightful.

        Or some shit.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          essential and delightful

          1. C. Anacreon

            Very sage of you.

          2. Rufus the Monocled

            What can I say? It’s that thyme of the day.

          3. Number.6

            Don’t make me retaliate with savory puns.

        2. AlexinCT

          Know the difference between parsley and pussy?

          People eat pussy…

      3. RBS

        You have a mustard like, earthy aroma?

        1. Chipwooder

          It might be my weak sense of smell, but I’ve never been able to discern much of a scent or taste from turmeric.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            It’s one of the items in your rack that degrades in potency absurdly fast. Bay leaves are also better fresher.

          2. Chipwooder

            Aha, that makes sense. I bought it for some kind of North African stew recipe once a long time ago, and it was probably a year before I touched it again. I still have the original container, probably a third full now, maybe 5 or 6 years later.

          3. jesse.in.mb

            I know a few health nuts that recommend you put a dash in everything because curcuminoids. I can never figure out how to get through more than a tiny container before it has lost it’s flavor.

            Fake saffron rice for all!

          4. Playa Manhattan

            Unless it’s extremely fresh (which mine isn’t), I think of it as yellow food coloring.

            They started selling the fresh root at the grocery story recently. Some sort of “health food”, IIRC.

          5. Rufus the Monocled

            It has a hint of buttery aroma.

        2. Playa Manhattan

          The dirt behind his ears does.

      4. mexican sharpshooter

        You make flame grilled lamb yummy.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Just added it to the list. Not tonight, but sometime this week. Shanks or rack.

          1. mexican sharpshooter

            I normally just buy chops, as they are available at Costco. Though I have been toying with the idea of dry rubbing a leg and seeing where it goes from there.

          2. Yusef drives a Kia

            Euphemism?

          3. Playa Manhattan

            Costco has good New Zealand rack of lamb. Great with grilled Cavender’s Greek seasoning and dressed with oil and vinegar.

            But…. at most, it’s a meal for 1 person, so you have to buy several.

        2. Chipwooder

          One of many dishes that has been absent from our table for a long time due to the economics of raising children (who probably wouldn’t eat the lamb anyway).

          1. Playa Manhattan

            Have you tried beating them?

          2. mexican sharpshooter

            Odd. Mine eat it.

          3. Playa Manhattan

            Do they eat In N Out?

          4. mexican sharpshooter

            No. They don’t eat Chipotle either.

          5. Playa Manhattan

            I tried to get Order #1 there on my way home this morning. Posted opening time 10:30, actual open time 10am, my arrival time 9:45. I couldn’t make the wait and got Hawaiian food instead.

          6. Chipwooder

            My daughter might eat it, as she’s the more adventurous one, although mostly with vegetables. My son eats spaghetti, hot dogs, burgers, steak, chicken nuggets, pizza, fries, and baked potatoes, and that’s pretty much it.

          7. Number.6

            Lamb burgers with mint and falafal are pretty kid-friendly,

          8. jesse.in.mb

            Can they get food from other sources? Just feed him unsalted kale chips and durian until he submits to lamb.

          9. Chipwooder

            Oh, and battered fish fillets. Big fish and chips fan, that boy is.

          10. Number.6

            Especially if you make the kid prepare the durian

          11. Chipwooder

            I lack the will to starve them into acceptance. My wife is much more of the enforcer than I, but I break down and make him a PBJ when he bitches about not wanting to eat stir fry. He’s such a good kid for the most part, the severely restricted menu is really the only way he’s a pain in the ass.

          12. Rufus the Monocled

            Lamb is for wolves.

      5. But Enough About Me

        Or how to pronounce me.

    4. Northern Lights.

    5. Tundra

      Wintergreen

    6. Yusef drives a Kia

      Indica

  22. Gadfly

    ZARDOZ WONDERS IF BRITISH BRUTAL HAS GROWN A SPINE?

    The British aligning with the Poles against the Germans. Hopefully this will have better results than the last time things split that way.

    1. Raven Nation

      Overheard at a high society ball in London, late-1945:

      Upper class man, looking out over a scene of normalcy: “this is what we’ve been fighting for the last six years.”

      Upper class woman: “Really? Are they all Poles?”

  23. Tundra

    Endeavour to persevere.

    *declares war on the Union*

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      + Josie Wales

  24. robc

    I wonder if anyone in the French government has ever heard of Bastiat?

    1. CPRM

      They liked his ideas for helping out the candle makers.

    2. Grumbletarian

      Don’t worry, they’re going to increase the minimum wage to make up for the higher food prices.

  25. Juvenile Bluster

    Consider the source, obviously, but this would be the greatest thing ever.

  26. Derpetologist

    Today I received a $13.07 settlement from a class action law suit I didn’t even know I was involved in.

    You see? Live long enough and good things can happen.

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      Is it Taurus Forjas vs. Carter? I knew I would never $200 for that gun.

    2. The lawyers probably got $13.07 million.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        It’ll disclose that in the settlement.

      2. Derpetologist

        The total was $15 mil, 600k got money, so about $7 mil for the law talking guys.

        1. pan fried wylie

          One can only stand up for the little guy from a perch a top his back.

  27. Tundra

    Stop!\

    Don’t start.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Shitshow in Memphis

    A nonprofit organization called Memphis Greenspace, Inc. filed for incorporation in October. And yesterday, the city council authorized Strickland to sell the two parks to the new organization. With the parks now in private hands, its owners were allowed to remove the Forrest and Davis statues, which were moved to an undisclosed location.

    The nonprofit group is led by county commissioner Van Turner. It received about $250,000 in pledges and donations from supporters, the Memphis Commercial Appeal reports, and will now maintain the parks.

    The mayor sold two city parks to the “non-profit” for $1000.- each, so statues of Nathan Bedford Forrest and Jefferson Davis. Gentlemen, assemble your battalions of attorneys.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      I don’t remember getting an opportunity to bid on those parks.

      1. AlexinCT

        That was by design…

    2. A nonprofit organization called Memphis Greenspace, Inc. filed for incorporation in October.

      Those evil corporations.

    3. Derpetologist

      Could have made more by selling the statues to private collectors.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    I omitted a couple of.

    [insert “could be removed”]

  30. Mr Lizard

    Huh so the giant floating rock can’t break orbit, but his skull-shaped cousin can?

    1. Chipwooder

      Arthur Frayn’s cousin is way more accomplished than he is.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    I wonder if anyone in the French government has ever heard of Bastiat?

    They tell stories about Bastiat to their children to frighten them into submission.

  32. Derpetologist

    Virginia: Muslim gets 20 years for trying to fund the Islamic State, wanted to commit jihad massacre of cops
    https://www.jihadwatch.org/2017/12/virginia-muslim-gets-20-years-for-trying-to-fund-the-islamic-state-wanted-to-commit-jihad-massacre-of-cops

    ***
    Here we go again. Yet another convert to Islam somehow gets the crazy idea that his new religion requires of him treason and mass murder. Why do so many converts misunderstand their new peaceful religion in exactly the same way?
    ***

    Quran (9:29) – “Fight those who believe not in Allah nor the Last Day, nor hold that forbidden which hath been forbidden by Allah and His Messenger, nor acknowledge the religion of Truth, (even if they are) of the People of the Book, until they pay the Jizya with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued.”

    Quran (4:74) – “Let those fight in the way of Allah who sell the life of this world for the other. Whoso fighteth in the way of Allah, be he slain or be he victorious, on him We shall bestow a vast reward.”

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      That is why there can never really be Peace with the Mooslims, they wrote it, not me…

    1. Playa Manhattan

      We all already knew this.

      If college was actually the way they said it was, nobody would send their kids there.

    2. Number.6

      4/5 female students are sexually assaulted, while 7/5 females outside of further education suffer this fate.

      1. Chipwooder

        Must really suck to be those two girls that get the multiple assaults.

        1. Derpetologist

          Every 5 minutes, a pedestrian is hit by a car.

          He must be getting really tired of that.

          ***

          The average person has one tit and one ball

          ***

          Statistics are like bikinis- what they reveal is suggestive and what they conceal is vital.

          ***

          If you torture data enough, it will confess.

          ***

          1. Consider all of these stolen, especially as someone who does statistics for a living.

          2. A Leap at the Wheel

            Did you know that if you take all the bones out of someones body, lay them end to end on the highway… that person will die.

  33. Semi-Spartan Dad

    Do any Glibs have experience with home security systems? It’s time to upgrade what I have, and I’m trying to decide before I lay conduit next week in case I have to run additional wires.

    I was thinking about Arlo Pros, but dislike you can’t view the feeds continuously in real time (though it’s not a complete deal breaker). So now I’m thinking about Armcrest ProHD outdoor IP cameras feeding into a NVR which will display on a monitor as well my cell phone when motion alerted. I wouldn’t need to run any cable for this other than the power cable I’m running anyway. Then I can set up Arlo Pros in the woods where real time isn’t necessary and would be a huge upgrade over the current game cameras there.

    Are there any other systems you guys prefer or have experience with?

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      Mine says ‘Sarah Connor’ and kills people with a variety of weapons on the spot.

    2. Number.6

      A dog that you forget to feed tends to be the best security system. If you’re particularly evil, get one that doesn’t bark.

      1. Semi-Spartan Dad

        Mine are barkers, which I like because it alerts the neighborhood not to break in here. We have high unemployment in my area, so break-ins can be a problem though there’s comparatively little violent crime.

        My male GSD is solid black and one of the females is 90% black which does make them particularly evil at night.

        1. Tundra

          Mine was the sweetest dog ever, but when she barked it was as if the gates of hell just opened.

          My sheepdog is a hell of a barker, as well. He’s not as big as my GSD was, but he’s much more of a badass.

          1. Tulip

            My greyhound usually only has a happy yap. She sounds like a Chihuahua, unless she hears something in the yard at night. The she suddenly develops a big dog bark. A neighbor asked me “was that YOUR dog? Holy crap! I almost shit myself.”

          2. Tulip

            But, I’ll never rely on her for home defense. I’m just going to hope the cat steps up. He is territorial and bad tempered, sooo, he might.

      1. Semi-Spartan Dad

        Absolutely. I’ve got three of them and it’s a real pleasure to watch them move as a pack. One time my wife came out of our detached workshop at night and they didn’t realize it was her. They approached in arrowhead formation to make the take-down when she screamed. They realized it was her and dropped to their bellies in an instant. Her first thought was that it was a pack of wolves that how somehow gotten through our fencing. They also guard my kids on command.

    3. Yusef drives a Kia

      Teufulhund Bark and a Shotgun?

    4. kinnath

      http://www.americanshetlandsheepdogassociation.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/sable-300×237.jpg

      I have two of these. They ain’t going kill anyone, but they are highly territorial and bark like crazy. We had one attempted break in a few years ago — but they never entered the house.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        “certain” people are terrified of our 4 legged Buddies, this is known,
        Office Manager Muhammed: I do not like Dogs!, they have fleas like Women!

    5. Playa Manhattan

      Those aren’t really “security systems”.

      A good starting point is the ELK M1 Gold. You can use it with most monitoring services (optional) and you can tie it into home automation. I have sensors hard wired into every window and door, and on top of that, you can add glass break, motion, and wireless pressure sensors as well.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        I did some of that with Arduino, Vibration sensors to monitor my water usage mainly, but pressure sensors are way cool, and cheap

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Aurdino is cool for hobbyists, but I wouldn’t use it for something critical.

          Too easy to smash.

          A security system should be armored, battery backed, and have tamper alarms.

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            Agreed, but I learned a lot about sensors, thermistors, pressure pads, I also have a very small footprint to defend

      2. Playa Manhattan

        Not to mention the stuff you can do with the relay inputs and outputs.

        You can program it to do pretty much anything.

        Ie. enter a 6 digit code into the keypad, and release your BOOM STICK.

        (disclosure: I didn’t do that. Because kids.)

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          that’s pretty cool, I like working with the Timer interrupts, and custom lighting, SSrelays are essential, unless your using TIP 120s or something,I run about 75% of my house with LED and TIP 120s, and can automate if I ever get to it.
          Good Fun

      3. Semi-Spartan Dad

        Yea, I guess it’s more a camera system. I included security because they alert you with motion sensing.

        Are you satisfied with ELK system? I have a similar system, though much cheaper, with sensors on all my doors and windows. I do not like it though and am looking to upgrade that separately as well.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Very satisfied. As far as I’m concerned, it’s the ONLY system. If you buy from a company like ADT, you’re locked into their ecosystem, including an overpriced monitoring service.

          All of the sensors were pre-installed when the house was built. They’re all compatible with the ELK; you just pick the settings to match.

          1. Semi-Spartan Dad

            Thanks, I’m going to check it out. I use Fortress Security now and it’s junk. The main system keeps crashing, I get false alerts, and the sensors themselves break. I’ve probably shelled out close to $1k in upgrades and new sensors over the years, but about ready to scrap it and go with a better quality system.

        2. AlmightyJB

          I had been looking at cameras as well.GW cameras seem to get pretty good reviews. Here’s one on their security system. The cool thing about this article is that before the review the writer gives you a little check list of things to look for in a security system. You may want to see if you can find video footage from cameras to check resolution especially for low light scenarios. I know the dome cameras seem to be a better home solution as the bullet cameras seem to be better for long range zoom situations like for a parking lot.

          https://networkcamera.reviews/home-security/nvr/review-gw-security-5mp-8-ch-poe-nvr-security-camera-system-8c8ch5091ip/

          1. Semi-Spartan Dad

            Thanks for the link JB. I’ll be sure to check them out.

    6. Derpetologist

      “The traveler with nothing laughs at the thief.”

      -Roman proverb

      1. AlmightyJB

        All you need is Love and a .45.

        Quote from movie with the same name.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    A dog that you forget to feed tends to be the best security system. If you’re particularly evil, get one that doesn’t bark.

    A long long time ago, I was walking home in the dark from my girlfriend’s house in Colorado Springs. All of a sudden, a dog (I never actually saw it but it was obviously a big dog) slammed into the fence right next to where I was on the sidewalk. Only then did it start growling and snarling.

    That thing scared the bejeezis out of me.

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      Comstock drive? Every time I went on a run…..

  35. Derpetologist

    today’s history lesson

    ***
    Thugs travelled in groups across the Indian sub-continent for six hundred years.

    Thuggee was a secret cult whose members, both Muslims and Hindus, worshipped Mother Kali, the goddess of destruction (of maleficence). They operated as gangs of highway robbers, tricking and later strangling their victims.[3]

    According to the Guinness Book of Records, the Thuggee cult was responsible for approximately two million deaths; British historian Mike Dash said that they killed a total of 50,000 people over an estimated 150 years. Political scientist David C. Rapoport estimated that 500,000 people were killed by the Thugs, making them the most destructive terrorist group in history.[11] According to other estimates, they murdered one million people.

    The Thugs were suppressed by the British rulers of India during the 1830s.[6] The initiative was due largely to the efforts of civil servant William Henry Sleeman, who captured “Feringhea” (also known as Syeed Amir Ali, on whom the novel Confessions of a Thug is based) and persuaded him to turn King’s evidence. Feringhea brought Sleeman to a grave with a hundred bodies, told him the circumstances of the murders and named the Thugs who had committed them.[13]

    After initial investigations confirmed what Feringhea had said, Sleeman began an extensive campaign using profiling and intelligence. The government of India established the Thuggee and Dacoity Department in 1835, with Sleeman its first superintendent. Thousands of men were imprisoned, executed or expelled from British India.[6]

    The campaign relied on captured Thugs who became informants. These informants were offered protection on the condition that they told everything that they knew. By the 1870s the Thug cult was extinct
    ***

    You don’t need advanced technology to defeat an insurgent movement.

      1. Gilmore

        KALI MA!!! KALI MA!!!

        1. Derpetologist

          Indiana Jones fighting thugees in 19th century India would have been a way better movie.

          1. ruodberht

            But Gunga Din already is a movie.

          2. Derpetologist

            I just noticed your avatar is a college from Empire Total War.

          3. dbleagle

            For a similar counter insurgent success story examine George Crook’s 1873 campaign against the Arizona Apaches. He turned Apache warriors into Scouts for the US Army and the followed and destroyed the Apache menace. He then did his best to ensure surrendered bands were treated fairly and was greatly respected for never lying to them. He was feared by the Apaches because of his effective use of Apache Scouts and his doggedness. The Geronimo breakouts made the press exactly because they were remarkable and were little supported by the Apache’s who realized what would happen if Crook came for them again.

            During the 1873 one of the Chiefs said they surrendered because no matter where they went Crook’s troops would find them and attack. Another chief had a bounty placed on him by Crook. Eventually two groups came to collect the bounty, each with a Apache head in a bag. He paid both parties. Another group surrendered then decided to “un-surrender” so Crook went after them. When they tried to surrender again he declined their surrender until they presented proof that their chief was no more. After a short period of additional pursuit he received his proof and let the band surrender. Once they surrendered he kept to the surrender terms and fought with the USG to honor the surrender terms for the Apaches.

            After Geronimo’s surrender in 1886 the Army kept the Apache Scouts at Ft Huachuca with their last combat occurring in the anti-Pancho Villa actions shortly before the US entered WW1. The final scouts were disbanded in 1919. Officers assigned to the Scouts wore crossed arrows on their collars. This branch insignia was used by the 1st Special Service Force in WW2 and by the Special Forces since 1987.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      I had to look this one up,
      da·coit·y
      dəˈkôədē/Submit
      noun
      an act of armed robbery committed by a gang in India or Burma (Myanmar).

  36. Raven Nation

    Follow up to Swissy’s post, Catalan separatists maintain majority: http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-42450745

  37. Ed Wuncler

    Derp that makes me really sad:

    “According to today’s New York Times —
    Not mentioned in Trump’s national security policy: human rights, extreme poverty, higher education, fighting HIV-AIDS, lasting peace between Israelis and Palestinians, young people, democracy, oppressed peoples, climate change.

    Included in the tax law: billions for the wealthy, permanent tax reductions for corporations, tax breaks for real estate developers, and a last minute provision that benefits 12 Republican senators.

    Not included: permanent tax reductions for individuals, funding for the children’s health insurance program, an end to the grossly unfair carried interest loophole the president promised to eliminate.

    Possible plans to pay for the tax cuts: reductions in Medicare, Medicaid, meals on wheels, possibly social security, and other programs for middle and lower income folks.”

    This makes me sad because it’s my wife’s uncle who wrote this as his status on Facebook. I like the guy a lot but his politics leans really Left partly due to living in the liberal cesspool of the Seattle area.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      But, what about Muh Free shit? I stepped into a Charles Blow article today, and I have to say, Derp is a better man than I, comment Hell!

    2. Playa Manhattan

      And… “lasting peace between Israelis and Palestinians” means….

      “give Palestinians exactly what they want or they’ll start blowing shit up”, right?

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      Moon him. Can you do that on Facebook.

      1. Ed Wuncler

        I could but it would make the next couple of days awkward. I like him a lot but man his politics gets on my nerves.

    4. kbolino

      Not included: permanent tax reductions for individuals, funding for the children’s health insurance program, an end to the grossly unfair carried interest loophole the president promised to eliminate.

      Does your wife’s uncle realize that these things are entirely due to Democratic opposition and the rules of the Senate? I mean, you can fault the Republicans for a lot of things, but it’s kinda hard to fault them for the Democrats’ intransigence.

    5. kbolino

      Not mentioned in Trump’s national security policy: human rights, extreme poverty, higher education, fighting HIV-AIDS, lasting peace between Israelis and Palestinians, young people, democracy, oppressed peoples, climate change.

      Also not mentioned: space rocks, pizza, cancer, the Byzantines, television shows, trees, peanut butter, and everything else that is not related to national security.

    6. B.P.

      My favorite complaint about the tax law is that President Trump stands to benefit from the reductions. Because any worthwhile tax accountant will tell you the best way to lower your tax burden is to run for President.

      1. kbolino

        Although he would be a fool to do it from an accounting standpoint, it would be hilarious if he donated the difference to the U.S. Treasury. Or a worthwhile charity.

  38. KibbledKristen

    I finally got an Ancestry DNA match on my father’s paternal side. All the previous matches from my Pa’s family had been on his mother’s side. Was beginning to wonder if my grandmother had been sneaking around. Wouldn’t have put it past her.

    1. KibbledKristen

      The weirdest matches, though, are where neither of you has a common ancestor in your family trees. Either someone’s tree is wrong, or someone isn’t who they think they are!

    2. jesse.in.mb

      I got a first cousin on my father’s side, she was confused how she might have a first cousin, I mentioned that my biological father had been adopted out and that the story he was told was that it was because he was the product of infidelity between a married professor and a student.

      I have not heard back from that first cousin.

      1. KibbledKristen

        Holy shit! That’s a story for Long Lost Family!

        I would also be surprised if I had any first cousins, since my Pa is an only child and my Ma’s brother never married or even dated that I know of. But I wouldn’t freak out if it turned out one of my grandparents cheated. I’d be like “Well, i’nt that somethin’?”

        1. jesse.in.mb

          This was 23andMe not ancestry, so we don’t have mapped family trees. So far I’ve found that I’m at least 25% Amero-Norwegian on my father’s side because I’m related to a cluster of people whose whole town moved over form the old country and just kept marrying Nords around, but my contact person with that group can’t find where I’d plug in to the family form.

          Of course on my mother’s side of the family we can trace our shit back to the Jehan and Perrine Thériault, some of the Acadian founders.

          1. But Enough About Me

            Interesting. You and I might be distantly related, although I b’lieve most of the early Acadians were actually dispatched from the port of La Rochelle (or Île de Ré), whereas most of my ancestors were dispatched from places like Honfleur in Normandy.

          2. jesse.in.mb

            Jehan and Perrine is where my knowledge stops. I’m not even sure where they’re from but the new world Thériault family tree is extremely well mapped. I know my grandmother has a book of info on it.

    3. Endless Mike

      A friend of mine found a long lost sister because his daughter did one of these tests – apparently their parents had a baby as teenagers (in the 50’s, in the south) before they were married; their parents and the doctor colluded to force them to give the daughter up for adoption (to a friend of the doctor’s). The kids then apparently eloped, raised 4 other children over the course of their 50+ year marriage, and never said a word about it to their kids.

      1. KibbledKristen

        Long Lost Family had an episode similar to that, except the post-marriage kids knew about the existence of their sibling.

  39. The Late P Brooks

    Comstock drive? Every time I went on a run…..

    I think it was on Wood Ave; north of CC. This was when I was going to school. As I said, looooong time ago.

  40. KibbledKristen

    Non-pharma sore throat remedies (because I don’t feel like driving). Preferably no alcohol (because I only have Rakı).

    Go!

    1. jesse.in.mb

      Rakı

      Get drunk on it and then the hangover will so completely overshadow the sore throat you’ll be effectively cured.

      Gargle salt water or water with a dash of baking soda in it. Plain water will make your throat scratchy, but you don’t need to make it seawater salty. Sage tea with honey is an old german remedy for irritated throats. gnaw on some slippery elm bark for it’s demulcent effect

      1. Bobarian LMD

        gnaw on some slippery elm bark

        If you happen to have some growing in your window box?

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      Chai tea

    3. DEG

      Black tea, honey, lemon. Whiskey is optional but recommended.

    4. Gilmore

      Gargle glass of hot water w/ teaspoon of salt

      cleans the gunk out, can soothe inflamed tissue

      1. trshmnstr

        This, but make it a tablespoon and follow with black tea.

        1. Trshmnstr is right about Gilmores’ being right, but put some honey in your tea like Foghorn, I say, like Foghorn said.

    5. Sean

      Ginger tea

    6. Tulip

      Hot water with honey and lemon.

  41. Derpetologist

    Air Force: We just spent billions on a useless fighter plane!

    Army: Hold my beer.

    The U.S. Army Wants to Equip Its Fighting Vehicles with Lasers and ‘Shields’
    http://nationalinterest.org/blog/the-buzz/the-us-army-wants-equip-its-fighting-vehicles-lasers-shields-23742

    ***
    The Army is working on a future Bradley Fighting Vehicle variant possibly armed with lasers, counter-drone missiles, active protection systems, vastly improved targeting sights and increased on-board power to accommodate next-generation weapons and technologies.

    Also designed to be lighter weight, more mobile and much better protected, the emerging Bradley A5 lethality upgrade is already underway – as the Army works vigorously to ensure it is fully prepared if it is called upon to engage in major mechanized, force-on-force land war against a technically advanced near-peer rival.

    Space, Weight and Power considerations, as Army developers describe it, are an indispensable element of the calculus information Bradley modernization; this means managing things like weight, mobility, ammunition storage space and electromagnetic signatures as they pertains to vehicle protection and firepower.

    “If you emit a signal, you can be hit,” a senior Army weapons developer said.

    Schirmer said equipping the Bradley with new suspension, reactive armor tiles and APS can increase the vehicle by as much as 3,000-pounds.

    “There are rounds like sabo rounds which will go through reactive armor. There is no silver bullet when it comes to protection,” the senior Army weapons developer said.

    “We need to be ready to face near-peers or regional actors with nuclear weapons. It is the risk of not being ready that is too great,” a senior Army official said.
    ***

    Repeat after me: we are never going to war with a country that has nuclear weapons.

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      Outstanding. To be fair though, the Army is slightly better about this sort of thing than the Air Force. Being the Army isn’t run by a cabal of fighter pilots.

      1. Derpetologist

        It is a tug of war between rangers and armor from what I can tell.

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          Don’t worry, I’m sure SOCOM will sneak in and steal some of that.

      2. Bobarian LMD

        To be fair to the AF, they’re not in as much of a stranglehold by fighter jocks anymore. Their last Chief of Staff was a transporter. Fighters are still the big dogs, but the other types are getting more representation.

  42. Mythical Libertarian Woman

    One of my friends shared this letter thing on her derpbook that was sort of like a sermon she’d written for her church newsletter for Christmas. It started off by talking about how the angels appeared to the shepherds to announce the birth of Christ and told them not to be afraid. She then launched into how that is applicable today with all the Bad Things happening these days, such as Trump and terrorism and all that. But the thing that had me facepalming the hardest was the way she segued into that:

    “Then, like today, people had many reasons for fear. Life 2000 years ago

    1. Mythical Libertarian Woman

      Goddamn my fat thumb.

      “Life 2000 years ago was marked with many questions. What if the harvest fails? What if my husband dies or leaves me?”

      Oh yes, that’s all they were worrying about 2000 years ago. Not, you know:

      • decades of bloody civil war
      • the end of the Roman republic and the rise of empire RIGHT WHEN CHRIST WAS BORN
      • the collapse of the world’s oldest and longest-lasting empire (Egypt)
      • the fact that the nation Jesus was born in was being ruled by a completely bonkers client king

      Just off the top of my head.

      ~~~purple fairy away!~~~

      1. Mythical Libertarian Woman

        Oh my god EDIT FAIRY PLEASE HELP “it mu jisband” should be “if my husband”

        I have a cold and am doped up on Dimetapp, this is my excuse.

        1. Mythical Libertarian Woman

          Thank you, purple fairy!

        2. commodious spittoon

          am doped up on Dimetap

          Well you don’t have to rub it in.

          1. F. Stupidity Jr.

            Well you don’t have to rub it in.

            You’re right, it’s not an ointment.

        3. KibbledKristen

          “MUH JISBAND!”

      2. kbolino

        mu jisband

        They put on a great show.

        1. Endless Mike

          Onanicore metal at its finest

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            Onanicore

            Go on….

          2. Bobarian LMD

            I’d figure you’d already had a link…

          3. Bobarian LMD

            Heavy metal Cummies?

    2. Mad Scientist

      Send your friend this and tell them to lighten up.

      1. Mythical Libertarian Woman

        I approve of these puns.

      2. Tundra

        Excellent!

        Myrrh

        1. Mad Scientist

          Great damn band, man.

          1. Tundra

            I saw them a couple months ago at a tiny venue. They still deliver a fantastic show – they really seem to have more fun in the smaller places.

          2. Mad Scientist

            Ooo, I’m jealous!

        2. Rhywun

          Ha, you’ve posted this before. One of my favorites from one of my favorite bands.

        3. Myrrh, myrrh, myrrh,
          How do you like it,
          How do you like it

      3. F. Stupidity Jr.

        No myrrh mortal can resist.

    3. Ed Wuncler

      As much as I enjoy Leftists making themselves hysterical, it’s a fucking disheartening that some individuals that I know have become incredibly obsessive about Trump. I’m a fucking libertarian who lives in Chicago. No one that even remotely reflect my views will never ever get elected into the city council or Mayor. But you know what though, I don’t lose my shit and get hysterical about my alderman or Mayor Rahm.

      1. Mythical Libertarian Woman

        I was watching this last night and thinking how he has a really good point about the Trump jokes—even when they’re funny, it’s been so nonstop that they’re not even funny anymore. I think we’re reaching the point where only the most virulent leftists don’t groan when they hear someone mention Trump.

        1. BigT

          SNL et al are all hatefests

  43. Mad Scientist

    The new Plumbus X is out!

  44. The Late P Brooks

    The Army is working on a future Bradley Fighting Vehicle variant possibly armed with lasers, counter-drone missiles, active protection systems, vastly improved targeting sights and increased on-board power to accommodate next-generation weapons and technologies.

    Also designed to be lighter weight, more mobile and much better protected, the emerging Bradley A5 lethality upgrade is already underway

    *throws flag, blows whistle*

    More shit, more armor, and LIGHTER? This seems… improbable.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Anything is possible on paper

    2. Gilmore

      when army says, “Working on future ______”, expect results within 20-40 years

      More shit, more armor, and LIGHTER? This seems… improbable.

      i agree, there is often a ‘pick any two’ aspect to this sort of thing, but….there’s probably so much room for improvement that some of this stuff is literally ‘gimmes’ from simply replacing 30-yr old tech.

      relevant:
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pentagon_Wars

  45. The Late P Brooks

    My favorite complaint about the tax law is that President Trump stands to benefit from the reductions. Because any worthwhile tax accountant will tell you the best way to lower your tax burden is to run for President.

    4D puppetmastery. He’ll retire a trillionaire in March, 2020.

  46. The Late P Brooks

    Maybe March, 2021.

  47. Derpetologist

    Koalas block traffic with mid-road wrestling match
    https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/12/21/Koalas-block-traffic-with-mid-road-wrestling-match/6381513877743/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=4

    Sources say the fight began when one koala accuses the other of obnoxiously playing a flute in a tree, while the other countered that the first had stolen his Vegemite sandwich.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      +1 Koalas at Work

      1. These puns are overkill.

  48. The Late P Brooks

    as the Army works vigorously to ensure it is fully prepared if it is called upon to engage in major mechanized, force-on-force land war against a technically advanced near-peer rival.

    When I was going to grad school, I was working on a paper about NATO and the defense of western Europe. I stumbled onto an article by some guy about the Eastern bloc; his main point was that the Soviet Hind helicopter was essentially a flying tank, because in an actual shooting war scenario, in late-80s Europe, ground travel in armored attack vehicles would be virtually impossible. It seemed pretty believable, to me.

    Then the wall fell.

  49. KibbledKristen

    Oh!

    Something funny happened when we were out getting lunch today. My boss suddenly said “it happened again!”

    Apparently people think he’s Sebastian Gorka when he’s out-and-about in downtown DC, and they tend to do double takes or stare at him. I L’ed MAO.

    1. Gilmore

      My dad looked just like phil donahue in the 1980s. the sort of people who got excited by that were the sort of people my dad hated.

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        There is guy who works in the next building over that looks 100% like John Bolton.

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          Does he get punched in the face a lot?

          1. Gilmore

            Despite the douchiness of many of John Bolton’s position on national-security issues, he’s actually a very likable guy. i think, of the veterans of the Bush admin, he was probably one of the more-mischaracterized.

        2. pan fried wylie

          “No, it USED to be a perfectly fine name until some sax blowing douchebag….”

          ….sorry, wrong Bolton, nm.

      2. But Enough About Me

        Man, if I’d been your Dad, I coulda had a world of fun with that. And ruined Donahue’s reputation, too.

        1. Gilmore

          we’d be walking down the street, and people driving by would lean out of their windows and go, “hey phil, go fuck yourself” and he’d wave.

          i don’t think that sort of thing happens as much in NYC anymore

  50. KibbledKristen

    It’s… I don’t. What?

    1. jesse.in.mb

      Scalies?

    2. Heroic Mulatto

      Thicc mermaids have large caudal fins.

    3. Sean

      I…uh…umm…I got nuthin.
      ?

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        Would you do a mermaid?

        I’d do a mermaid.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            Not all mermaids are racist.

          2. jesse.in.mb

            What’s the digital version of the confused and hurt face white people make when someone says something is about race that should be about mermaid lesbianism?

          3. Heroic Mulatto

            Racist merlesbians, you mean.

          4. pan fried wylie

            lesmaids

        1. Sean

          On land or in the water?
          I would think it would be more interesting on land…with all the flopping around.

        2. Mermaids’ll just get you into trouble. Now merdonkey, that’s the way to go, plus I hear it’ll make your johnson bigger.

          1. Sean

            I hear stretching your foreskin with weights is the way to make it bigger.

          2. Rhywun

            I still have nightmares about that episode of Bullshit!

          3. Number.6

            If you like dragging an unfilled sausage-skin around on the end of your johnson.

        3. Bobarian LMD

          Seattle’s mermaid community

          No. The H/C matrix would run right off the graph paper.

        4. Not Adahn

          External fertilzation is just jacking off underwater, isn’t it?

          1. Bobarian LMD

            Swimming in your own soup

    4. Mythical Libertarian Woman

      I can’t tell if Ed is a mermaid or a merman.

      I would have loved this as a kid. As an adult… I sort of think it would be fun to try the tail, but not where anyone could see me. Like, if I had a pool in my backyard or something. Definitely not in a public pool or a freaking lake where there are people around.

      1. Ethel was a merman….

  51. Derpetologist

    You can tell a lot about a culture from its heroes. Take Batman for example. What does he say about Americans?

    Batman is a rich guy with lots of fancy gadgets who fights crime. This says a lot about American culture. Americans put a high value on money, technology, and the rule of law.
    That’s why Batman is so popular in the US.

    In other cultures, heroes are more likely to be described as courageous or pious or cunning. The focus is on their internal qualities, not their weapons or abilities.

    For example:
    https://owlcation.com/humanities/5-Chinese-Heroes-to-Know-About

    ***
    With a few millennia of history, China has a long list of glorious heroes. Here are five of the most famous Chinese heroes. Beloved for their moral uprightness, sense of justice and patriotism.

    Another famous Chinese hero from the Three Kingdoms era, Guan Yu was the sworn brother of warlord Liu Bei and one of the key generals of Shu-Wei. He is universally recognized by Chinese worldwide as the epitome of honour and righteousness.

    Bao Zheng was a government officer during the reign of Emperor Renzong of the Northern Song dynasty. Beloved and respected for his sense of justice and uprightness, he took on many different posts before promoted to the position of prefect of Song capital Kaifeng. Bao Zheng’s many legendary acts of justice include sentencing his own uncle, and punishing powerful but corrupted aristocratic families. These acts then led to him more commonly referred to as Justice Bao.

    The primary catalyst for the First Opium War is often said to be Lin Zexu. A scholar and officer of the Qing Dynasty imperial court, he aggressively opposed the importing of opium from Britain. In 1839, Lin launched a series of forceful campaigns in Guangdong, arresting over a thousand opium importers and forcing merchants to surrender over a million kilograms of opium for destruction. His actions quickly angered the British Empire into retaliating with military might.

    Regardless of his so-called mishandlings of the opium situation and foreign affairs, Lin Zexu is today honoured throughout global Chinese communities for his moral uprightness. In recent times, he became the Chinese hero against drug and other forms of substance abuse.
    ***

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      Guan Yu was the shit.

      1. Number.6

        Any relation to Guan Ja?

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          That would be his physician.

          (Really!)

          Everyone should read The Romance of the Three Kingdoms.

          1. See Double You

            Or they could just play Dynasty Warriors.

    2. Lin Zexu, fucking drug warrior.

    3. I’d just go with Ip Man.

  52. Private Chipperbot

    Vacation begins!

    Fload https://imgur.com/gallery/lE3Wb

  53. Don Escaped Texas

    MEM through security. Upgrades all the way. SAV by 1am. Hotel room with Miss Georgia by 2.

    BBQ, beer, and lynx.

  54. DEG

    The Linzertorte went over well at work.

  55. Rhywun

    So my long-time circle of old friends is having a NYE party. Observed the “you might also be interested in” links on the side in FB and saw that several of them are attending something called the “2018 Women’s March”. I haven’t seen these people since the ascension of Orange and I think I might have to keep it that way for awhile still.

    1. CPRM

      Go to the party wearing a MAGA hat, and a bodycam.

  56. Derpetologist

    I’ll just leave this here:

    Why justice is more important than the rule of law
    https://theconversation.com/why-justice-is-more-important-than-the-rule-of-law-85719

    ***
    As evidence for these unusually dark times, pundits often point to the breakdown of social norms and the disregard for the rule of law. To be sure, these are real problems. Yet, as a scholar and teacher of political theory and literature, I have always been amazed how quickly my students turn to talking about the abstract rule of law, rather than the concrete realities of law enforcement and justice.

    Are people perhaps so interested in the rule of law because they fear American society is no longer equal and just?
    ***

    1. Lachowsky

      “these unusually dark times”

      That’s how I know the author is an idiot. I didn’t read any further.

    2. Gilmore

      Crusty, over @ TOS, is often sarcastically moaning about ‘rule of law’, as though someone used in some argument he found incredibly fatuous, or contradictory to some basic libertarian principle.

      i can’t remember what it was. i doubt it was gay marriage, because that’s the only context i personally recall thinking it mattered…

      …oh, i guess it was probably something immigration-related, maybe. Tho, i’m not sure what the argument is: should we ignore immigration law for illegals, because of our deep principles about freedom of association and/or movement of labor? while we completely go, “meh” over the people who’ve labored within the system, gaining citizenship over decades? i’m not sure where principles would lead you first, but my sympathies would be with the honest people getting fucked by the system rather than the people trying to slip around it.

      1. kbolino

        There have been a few commenters, some fly-by-night, some more enduring, on H&R who spoke of “rule of law” but applied it very selectively. Basically, rules are for thee, but not for me.

        That having been said, dishonesty on someone else’s part does not excuse derangement on one’s own part (*cough* not that I’d know anything about that *cough*).

        1. pan fried wylie

          You leave Capt. Murphy from Sealab alone!

  57. trshmnstr

    Question for the glibertariat: Is there any interest in setting up a Monero mining pool (thanks for putting me onto Monero, Q… someday soon I’ll actually have all the blocks synced) that donates 5% to our favorite news and links website?

    It’s not worth setting up for 2 or 3 people, but if we had 10 or 12 people interested, that’s getting toward being worth it. The smallest of the top 10 monero pools are in the 50 member range.

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      I’d be interested.

    2. Is it something I can do while drinking?

      1. trshmnstr

        Even better, your orphans can do it while you’re drinking

    3. Yusef drives a Kia

      I’m in

    4. gbob

      I would. What would be involved?

      1. trshmnstr

        Downloading software onto your computer and running said software when you’re not using the computer.

    5. Number.6

      I’d be interested but I KNOW NOTHING. I’m doing it to be in with the cool kids.

      1. trshmnstr

        If we end up doing it, there would be plenty of info, explanation, and troubleshooting help available.

        1. Number.6

          Will it make me COOL and attractive to WOMEN?

          1. trshmnstr

            Of course, +2 Attractiveness and +3 Smooth Talker with a +1 Nerd Whisperer bonus.

    6. wchipperdove

      I might be interested. Sure, what the hell.

  58. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Another company decides to wreck themselves over the NFL national anthem nonsense.

    http://www.businessinsider.com/papa-johns-founder-steps-down-as-ceo-2017-12

      1. C. Anacreon

        Iowahawk’s tweet about the Papa John founder stepping down:

        Throngs gather at Pizza Square in Louisville awaiting announcement of the new Il Papa

        1. Rhywun

          Mmmm, wood smoke.

    1. Rhywun

      In his 2017 book, “Papa: The Story of Papa John’s Pizza,” Schnatter argued that regulations were steering the US away from a system of free enterprise he believes crucial to the nation’s success.

      My god what a monster.

    2. IntraveneousWoodChipper

      “Schnatter has a history of making political statements that spark controversy.

      He came under fire in 2012 for saying the Affordable Care Act, the healthcare law better known as Obamacare, would be a “lose-lose” for Papa John’s franchisees and employees. Schnatter argued that it would cost Papa John’s $5 million to $8 million annually and ultimately drive up the price of its pizza.“

      What an evil, boorish, uncaring cretin he is.

  59. Derpetologist

    https://www.alternet.org/dave-chappelle-has-some-bad-news-dumb-white-people-who-voted-trump

    ***
    He said “dumb white people” who backed Trump were swindled, because the president had no intention of helping them but instead is further enriching wealthy Americans — like Chappelle himself.

    “I’m standing there thinking in my mind, you dumb motherf*cker,” Chappelle says. “You are poor — he’s fighting for me!”

    Chappelle, who lives in rural Ohio town Yellow Springs, said he sees Trump supporters all the time, and he said they’re not as hateful as they’re made out to be.

    “To my surprise, you know what I didn’t see? I didn’t see one deplorable face in that group,” Chappelle says. “I saw some angry faces, and some determined faces — but they felt like decent folk.”
    ***

    Will wonders never cease.

    1. straffinrun

      “I know the game now. I know that rich white people call poor white people ‘trash,’ and the only reason I know that, is because I made so much money last year, the rich whites told me they say it at a cocktail party — and I’m not with that sh*t.”

      Calling them “fucking stupid” is much more sympathetic.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Ahh, what money can bring out in a person

      2. kbolino

        Also, fun fact: “white trash” is a statement about behavior and lifestyle, not income. You can be making 6 figures plus and still be white trash. Of course, those behaviors are not strongly correlated with effective habits for building wealth, so there’s a lot of overlap between “white trash” and “poor”.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          I’m happily White trash, it’s very American, Loud, obnoxious, some money, drives a Shitbox, you know,
          MORONS

        2. Heroic Mulatto

          This is something that Europeans instinctively know that Americans really don’t.

          1. A Leap at the Wheel

            White kids that grew up in Appalachia get it. It is very, very clear that race and class can decouple there.

          2. Rhywun

            My family is from northern Pennsylvania. I didn’t grow up there but it leaks into upstate NY.

          3. Lachowsky

            I grew up in a %90 white small town. Race has little to do with one’s socioeconomic standing.

          4. Heroic Mulatto

            I was speaking more about wealth and class.

          5. A Leap at the Wheel

            Fair enough, but that too.

        3. straffinrun

          I hate “white trash”. They treat other people like garbage.

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            Not this piece of Trash, Good Sir!

        4. BigT

          My band used to do this to great appreciation

          https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8C2re3oG1y8

        5. whiz

          Yes, a certain president and his not-to-be-future-president first lady qualify as white trash in my book.

    2. kbolino

      Now the $10 million question… if you substitute “black” for “white” and “Obama” for “Trump”, would Chappelle still agree?

    3. BigT

      Yellow Springs, home to Antioch College which makes Oberlin look conservative.

      Cute town, though.

      1. Rhywun

        Oh wow. I guess I always confused those two, to the point where until just now I misremembered a brother attending Oberlin when it was actually Antioch.

      2. Number.6

        There I was, thinking Antioch was dead, dead, dead. And yet it lives again.

        Won’t someone rid us of this troublesome academy?

    1. But Enough About Me

      Bookmarked, thanks.

    2. Rhywun

      Or, I can just open my living room window and there’s an even chance that will be pumping out of a car stopped at the light on the corner.

  60. Derpetologist

    The link about French farmers got me thinking about what Mencken said about US cotton farmers. They schemed to cut production to boost prices, but so many of them cheated and planted extra cotton that the price actually fell. Then they whined to the govt for a bail out.

    1. Number.6

      The OPEC’ed themselves.

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      The tragedy of the Commons, in business,
      /Tulips?

  61. Lachowsky

    I put this in the a.m links, but it’s too damn cool not to share with the p.m. too.

    Because sometimes shit goes boom.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=LzuSJXjbQ2o

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      That was awesome, saw it this Morning, I knew you guys have that type of thing under control, But what a mess to clean up. The Molten metal blowing out was spooky….

    2. KibbledKristen

      Very Tuh-muh-nay-tuh

      1. Lachowsky

        When I first took this job, my older brother asked me,

        “what’s your plan if a terminator shows up?”

        1. KibbledKristen

          LOL

    3. Number.6

      There’s sometimes a very thin line between ‘Oh, Cool!” and ‘Oh, Fuck!’ in heavy engineering.

      Oftentimes, the difference between the two lies in whether the engineers who designed the plant predicted the problem, or not.

      1. Lachowsky

        This is a fairly predictable problem. It happens from time to time. We try to be diligent about keeping hydraulic lines and components in good shape. What happened here was a hydraulic line developed a pin hole leak. That leak sprayed a fine mist into the air. The mist came into contact with the hot steel and then Ka-Boom.

        Aside from some lighting and wiring and a few other thung burning up, there wasn’t much actual damage. We had the fire contained in less than minute and had the machine back running in less than an hour.

      2. Number.6

        I remember some education I received once when I was visiting an old (1930’s) flour mill in the old country. Big felt curtains in the doorways, like you’d expect in a pyrotechnics factory.

        Floor manager was like Igor from Young Frankenstein, who laughed when I asked why.

        1. Lachowsky

          Flour mills, Saw mills, anything that produces a fine dust that is flammable can always blow up. I understand that there was no manufacturing going on in most plants outside of daylight hours until the incandescent bulb was invented because lanterns were an absolute no -go at most places.

          1. Festus

            Two sawmills in my immediate area went boom within months of each other. Four dead, dozens injured. Dry pine sawdust is a cunt. I used to make deliveries there and the shit was nearly ankle deep. Good job, Safety Commitee!

  62. Tulip

    I have a four day weekend. I plan to make garlic parmesan pretzels, yeast corn bread, round two of French macaroons, and banana peanut butter upside down cake (maybe with a little cayenne). It’ll be fun.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Recipe for the Cake please?

      1. Tulip

        It’s one I’m making up. If it turns out, I’ll post it.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Please do, I just told the Wife, she says Yummy too!

      2. Number.6

        The cake?

        It’s a lie. Just sayin’.

        1. Tulip

          I don’t get it.

  63. The Elite Elite

    A little story for John Titor. Zoolander breaks ethics rules. Says he’s “sorey.” Guess that makes it all better.

      1. But Enough About Me

        Doesn’t matter.

        The same fucking female Millenials who voted him because “he’s so hot and his hair’s awesome” will simply ignore this or will say “everybody does it”; that may or may not be true, but in fact The Hair That Walks Like A Man™ managed to break the Conflict of Interest Act (a federal law) four, count ’em, four times, making him the first PM ever to break any federal laws whilst in office.

        He should resign. But he’s too stupid to know that, and his handlers are too craven to come out of the shadows.

    1. straffinrun

      You are in sore need of remedial link lessons.

      1. The Elite Elite

        No. What would happen if I linked without putting a “ at the end would result in a broken link again, because then it would decide to not mysteriously add a “ on. Watch I’ll try it now. Test.

        1. The Elite Elite

          WTF is going on!? Why is it adding in a “? It’s never done that to me before today when I’ve posted href links! Why is it doing that now!?

          1. straffinrun

            Sticky keyboard?

          2. The Elite Elite

            I’m posting from my iPad, so no keyboard.

          3. straffinrun

            Run with it. People kill for reputations.

          4. But Enough About Me

            Might be related to the latest update. My iPad keeps inserting an “r” at the end of a text string when I perform certain text operations in Facebook related to linking. I have zero idea why. Now I just police the damn thing every time I’m using it to post to Facebook.

          5. pan fried wylie

            Carriage Return, “In the C programming language, and many other languages influenced by it, \r denotes this character.”

  64. straffinrun

    Test question from my kid’s social studies class. Do you know all these symbols?

    1. Number.6

      ** Triggering Intensifies **

    2. Ping pong table, Magneto, Kicker man, Roof Tiles.

      1. straffinrun

        Nice. *It’s actually Kicker man’s gunt.

    3. CPRM

      They mean it’s not written in english.

    4. Picnic table, champagne glass, you-know-what, flying carpets.

  65. Mythical Libertarian Woman

    Been watching YouTube videos all day while sick. Lots of Diversity & Comics. One thing I noticed was how so many of the SJW comics have characters that are not just kind of chubby, but like monstrously obese. It reminded me of when my last book came out and the publisher had promotional art done for it. They asked me to give the illustrator a physical description of my characters. For the main character, I said “average build,” as compared to the other character who was supposed to be very thin and athletic. THE ARTIST MADE HER AS BIG AS A WHALE. I don’t understand how you can hear “average” and assume I mean Jabba the Hutt. I consider myself “average” but maybe I’m actually super thin, if that’s the standard of “average” we’re going with.

    1. straffinrun

      Go with “median” instead of “average” next time.

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      In case you didn’t see, Great Vogue Cover.

      1. Mythical Libertarian Woman

        Thank you!

    3. A Leap at the Wheel

      I’m a life long comic reader. At one point in the early 2000’s, I claimed to have read every issue of every mainline X-men book since the first one. I spent more saturdays at my FLGS than I care to think about. I gave it all up around civil war, except for the Mignolaverse, Usagi Yojimbo, and 2000AD. I’ve thought about going back and checking out what is going on these days. Glorious shit, is it bad. Marvel, and to a lesser extent DC, are in open warfare with a sizable section of their fans and Jesus Mary and Joseph are their sales numbers bad. On the one hand, the haters all seem to be rolling out their same ponderous arguments “You hate white people. You hate your characters. Every change is destroying a beloved character instead of making a good new one.” But I can’t help but notice that those arguing for these changes are just lying through their teeth. Poorly.

      I don’t know if the other fans have caught on yet, but there’s literally a lifetime of backlog of old, good stuff that I’ve never read. Much of it is free at the local library.

      PS, want to read a book with a diverse cast, powerful and well defined female leads but is also out of this world good, written by a racial minority? Track down the original Marvel GI Joe issues 1-25 or so by Larry Hama.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        PS, want to read a book with a diverse cast, powerful and well defined female leads but is also out of this world good, written by a racial minority? Track down the original Marvel GI Joe issues 1-25 or so by Larry Hama.

        YES!

    4. It’s been awesome hearing that so many of their shit books have been officially canceled this week. Great news from the new Editor in Chief.

      As I posted yesterday though, if you want some hilarious related channels – check out ‘DICK and Comics’ and Nerkish as well.

  66. Yusef drives a Kia

    My wife actually bought me a present, she said I mentioned it, is it this?
    http://hotwheels.mattel.com/shop/en-us/hw/advanced-play/hot-wheels-ai-mario-kart-mario-accessory-ffl33

  67. Derpetologist

    Gender Wars: The Last Snowflake
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPsRp7uUXUk

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      not as good as I hoped, razorfist is rolling DS9, much more fun, IMO

    2. Mythical Libertarian Woman

      Watching the new Star Wars implode has been delightful for me.

    3. The Elite Elite

      I know he said he enjoyed it, same with Shapiro’s review, but between those two and RedLetterMedia, this just does not sound like a good movie. It sounds just flat out awful with a few interesting things mixed in.

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        Its been very polarizing. Some people love it. Some people hate it. I think it mostly comes down to 1) some very serious structural issues and 2) A significant change to Luke.

        1) doesn’t bother me because, well, I don’t expect much from Star Wars on this front
        2) I actually like, because I thought it was appropriate and fitting. People have said “You murdered my childhood!!!” and I just don’t agree.

  68. Number.6

    Totally OT, but related to Derp’s Link :

    Lord of the Dank

    1. Lachowsky

      I laughed. That’s funny as hell. I’m not into the alternative right scene. Is that serious or parody? Either way it’s funny as hell.

      1. But Enough About Me

        He’s kinda the Weird Al Yankovic of the ‘tubes these days, isn’t he?

      2. straffinrun

        The Doc isn’t alt right. He’s an MRA, but he loves taking the piss out of the left by trolling with alt right memes.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          I knew it. Pretty much everything about that guy screams “never having known the intimate touch of another sentient human being.”

          1. Number.6

            He is pretty much virgin terrirtory, to coin a phrase. He pretty much advertizes it.

          2. Heroic Mulatto

            Isn’t prostitution legal in the UK?

          3. Number.6

            Not really, but what laws there are aren’t particularly well enforced, but like anywhere, there’s a cost/aesthetic tradeoff. He doesn’t scream “I’m a 1%!’ either.

          4. Heroic Mulatto

            Desperate times call for desperate measures.

      3. Heroic Mulatto

        Shades of Voltaire in that the “alternative right” is neither “alternative” nor “right”.

    2. Number.6

      The funny thing is the guy works for the British Post Office as a day job, I think – which is still VERY unionized.

      He’s done some very funny stuff that you wouldn’t show Grandma. (Apologies to the site – I posted this link in the past). It’s possible I think it’s particularly funny given how embedded the UK branch of my family is in Trades Unionism.

  69. Gilmore

    I don’t know if anyone else listens to Mixcloud at all, but if you are interested in a wonderful and bottomless source of (clears throat) “curated” music (ffs, its just DJs)…. its the tits.

    the really nice thing about it is that, unlike things like Soundcloud/Pandora/Spotify, it is actual “Dj’s” with shows with interesting ideas and mix styles.

    one of my faves of the last few days has been Jazzman, who is something of a living legend in the record-collecting community. i first met him in his little record-selling booth in camden lock, london, in the early 1990s. even then he was 100x hipper than anyone alive. but he was always the dude with the shit everyone else wanted, and the taste for things that were going to be very popular about 5-10 years later. I knew he did his own re-releases on his own label since the late 1990s, but id never heard him do radio-style mixes before, and he’s got about 80 of them up there now, all of which are very enjoyable.

    there are many other people up there that are similar. depending on whatever style you enjoy (or don’t know you do or not), there’s some dude doing very clever/cute mixes.

    **the only annoying thing about their website/service? is you can’t rewind the stuff. once you press play, you have to let it run, or dump it and start it over later. if you care enough you can download the mixes via other websites, and treat like regular audio. but … there you go.