Saturday Overnight Links

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. BRUTALS HAVE ASKED FOR LATE NIGHT LINKS. ZARDOZ PROVIDES FOR YOU.

  • PENIS BAD, GUN GOOD, TOMAHAWK BETTER THAN NAUGHT.
  • SHITSHOW GETTING SHOWIER.
  • ARE BRUTALS AWARE OF ANY OTHER LONG SERVING LEADER OF JAPAN?
Bang!
ENJOY LINKS OR BE CLEANSED.

Comments

130 responses to “Saturday Overnight Links”

  1. Heroic Mulatto

    ARE BRUTALS AWARE OF ANY OTHER LONG SERVING LEADER OF JAPAN?

    Yes. Shuttle Japan (シャトルジャパン) is almost 20 years old.

    1. I…uh…leader, yeah.

      *scurries off*

        1. Man, I got Tyroned!

          1. Pan Zagloba

            So many of us did. Think of it as a rite of passage.

    2. Akira

      You know who else teamed up with Japan?

  2. BakedPenguin

    PENIS BAD, GUN GOOD, TOMAHAWK BETTER THAN NAUGHT.

    Yeah. it sucks when your victims are better armed. God story.

    1. “God story.”

      I was thinking about how I miss John.

      1. *checks quiver for cat butt bolts*

        Drat, empty.

      2. BakedPenguin

        Fair comment. That was a John-worthy typo.

        1. The bolts are for if John shows up…

          1. BakedPenguin

            I didn’t have much of a problem with John, other than arguing than him was like arguing with Walter Sobchak. “Say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, at least it’s an ethos.

          2. Calling anyone who dares to disagree with him a subhuman retard who cannot read and is a sekret prog to boot is not going to get anything other than a cat butting.

          3. bacon-magic

            Maybe John is into cat butting? I’m still surprised he hasn’t wandered over here yet.

          4. BakedPenguin

            He could be / is a dick. My biggest problem with him (and not just him) was that he read things wrong. It could be a news article, and he’d be stating that Reason supported X position. ‘It’s a straight news article, dude. No commentary given.’ He also often wouldn’t really read more than the headline, and totally misinterpret the jist of the article.

            I guess I give him a bit more latitude than other posters who talk shit, but that’s because he’s been there longer than I have. And I’ve been there for 12 years.

          5. Trigger Hippie

            I don’t know. I’ve had a small handful of disagreements with John over my two-ish years posting over there, including Friday afternoon, and he’s yet to insult me personally.

  3. Ryan

    Which anime is Shinzo Abe from?

    1. Um….Cowboy Bebop?

      1. Sour Kraut

        You are a man of taste sir, despite your low German dialekt.

    2. Heroic Mulatto

      Mudazumo naki Kaikaku

      1. Ryan

        I’m not surprised Japan is ruled by a LARPer.

      2. Gustave Lytton

        That is awesome. Japanese PM play mahjong against Hitler and Moon Nazis for the fate of the world?

      3. Gustave Lytton

        Yukio Hatoyama (鳩山 ユキヲ Hatoyama Yukio?)
        93rd Prime Minister of Japan, first of the Democratic Party of Japan to put the traditional Liberal Democratic Party out of power. In the OVA, he is an obedient puppet to the Chinese leadership. It turns out he acts this way because he had been infested by a squid-like alien.

        Maybe that’s the same reason Trump is Putin’s Pinocchio? Has anyone done a screening for a squid alien on the orange one?

        1. The Hair is NOT an alien! I..I think not, I mean.

    3. John Titor

      He wishes he was in GATE, so he could get those sweet, sweet ultranationalist waifus.

  4. Gustave Lytton

    So… Longest Abe?

  5. DOOMco

    Watching blazing saddles. Thanks, person who said it was on Netflix.

    1. BakedPenguin

      The sheriff is near?

      1. Mike Schmidt

        +1 Excuse me while I whip this out

        1. [eats beans by the fire]

    2. westernsloper

      I watched that this afternoon. There is some classic lines in that one.

      1. “They said you was hung!”

        “And they was right”

        1. Francisco d’Anconia

          “Oh, It’s Twue, it’s Twue, it’s twue!”

          1. thrakkorzog

            “I am not from Havana,”

      2. DOOMco

        RANDOLPH SCOTT!!!!

        1. *removes hat and places over heart*

    3. DOOMco

      Oh man, i forgot about the tollbooth scene.

      1. westernsloper

        “Someone go back and get a shit load of dimes!!”

  6. DenverJ

    Saturday night links? What witchcraft is this?

    1. Hey, if a giant, futuristic, flying head gives us links late night…I ain’t questioning it!

    2. straffinrun

      Dangerous. Wasn’t there an experiment where rats got an electrode hook to the pleasure center of their brains and the pushed the button until they died? You guys are murderers.

      1. thrakkorzog

        I’m pretty sure that was just a Niven story. We don’t have that tech. Yet.

      1. DenverJ

        That looks a right ancient welder. Don’t electrocute yourself.

        1. Mike Schmidt

          It’s all good. I removed the mouse nest. Sheesh.

    3. DOOMco

      Its just hihn bait.

      1. HSST! Don’t say the name!!!

        *nervously looks left and right*

        1. bacon-magic

          Hihntificator will start over with a new file and fascist Bully list. *giggle/farts*

        2. Old Man With Candy

          We have the special cat butthole in that eventuality. It’s got hemorrhoids and a few dingleberries.

          I can hardly wait.

    4. bacon-magic

      It’s magic.

  7. westernsloper

    SHITSHOW GETTING SHOWIER.

    I read that as, “shitshow getting shower”and thought maybe that is not something I want to see.

    1. Future Honorable Mention on a Thicc Thursday?

  8. John Titor

    Rule change could make Abe longest-serving leader in Japan

    SHOGUN SHOGUN SHOGUN! Sei-i Taishōgun! WARLORD IN EDO, RIGHT HAND OF THE CHRYSANTHEMUM THRONE!

    …I’m sure this isn’t controversial at all.

    1. BakedPenguin

      Gifu prefecture is up in arms!

      1. John Titor

        You won’t believe what the Shimazu do next!

    2. Pan Zagloba

      It’s just a Paradox marketing scheme for the upcoming EU4 expansion.

      And to follow up on your advice, I’m really tempted to play a small-scale Japan game just to unify the island and be done once the expansion is out…

      1. John Titor

        Last I saw Japan was a little weird still because of the new vassal mechanics. They really need a micro-HRE or something to reflect the sengoku period. Japan tends to break due to patches a lot (at release they uses to be under perma-rebels once the Catholics made contact), don’t know what it is like now, but they’re a good non-European colonization option. Vietnam, proto-Malaysia and Korea are also good.

        By the way, I’m an idiot, you want to kill that France-Venice alliance and get Spain out?

        1. Find someone to declare on, a minor or easy win if possible, that you can pull France into. Declare that war.
        2. Declare war on Venice. Because France is in the other war, they can’t say yes to a call to arms from Venice. Spain can.
        3. Crush Venice and Spain. Get enough warscore with Spain to cancel their alliance with the Ottomans.

        1. John Titor

          Ah see, I haven’t been paying attention to the new expansion info, Mandate of Heaven sounds like what I wanted Paradox to make THREE YEARS AGO, instead of overhauling Native Americans and African minors that barely anyone plays and making the Ottomans more OP.

        2. Pan Zagloba

          Oh, thanks to reddit I found out my desires of kebab removal have hit another shoal.

          Because I’m technically a Great Power, if I go on a kebab run, it’d be 3 on 2. So another GP would jump in. And I just know it would be fucking Austria.

          Current plan – take 100,000 Mad Poles and 36000 Brandenburg Space Marines and invade Austria. This pulls in Palatinate, so I can make them break Otto-alliance and Great Britain, which will hopefully do the British thing of sitting on the island reading The Sun while the war is in progress. Then I’ll have truces with both and hopefully that means they can’t go into Otto mess (already have truce with Russia).

          1. The real European wars were confusing enough, this game sounds like it would make them even more confusing.

    3. Hey, if takes a few burned castles, slain samuri, and some select seppuku

      1. BakedPenguin

        Seppuku is a great film. Got it on DVD.

  9. Gilmore

    PRAISE BE TO ZARDOZ

    The tables turn on a 70-year-old homeless man accused of trying to rob a Barre Town couple at gunpoint in their own home.
    Police say Kenneth Pecor was able to get inside a home on Little John Road Sunday morning. He allegedly demanded cash and a car while pointing a rifle at two of the residents.
    But after a struggle, the homeowner was able to fight back.

    Now looking for appropriate re-enactment footage

    1. Gilmore

      I’m thinking he might have tried to lure the old man into complacency with a ham sandwich before making his move with the Tomahawk

    2. westernsloper

      The first thing that came to my mind was a Bartertown situation involving gunpoint, but the roles where reversed. A ham sandwich didn’t come to mind. Other than, I like ham sandwiches now that you mention it.

      1. Gilmore

        Surprisingly, its hard to find footage of a 70yr old mountain man being gently wrestled into submission by a younger person with a tomahawk.

        My go-to was trying to find something with a senile Buddy Ebsen trying to re-enact scenes from Davy Crockett.

  10. straffinrun

    The only reason Abe has lasted so long in his second stint is that the DP was such a shitshow when the briefly took over with Hatoyama. Let the opposition take over for 2 years every 60 years or so as a reminder of how awful they are.

  11. Pan Zagloba

    Could we possibly get a Mighty Zardoz… advice column?

    E.g.

    Mighty Zardoz,

    My sister-in-law is still constantly complaining about Hilary losing the election. While I am not happy with the outcome, I strongly believe my youngest’s fifth birthday was not the right place to go on a 45-minute speech about “F-ing Russians and F-ing Bernie bros killing us all.”

    How do I get her to stop doing it while maintaining good relations with her side of the family?

    1. Tundra

      Easy. Tranq gun, shipping crate, freight forwarder in Venezuela.

    2. BakedPenguin

      Xanax in the gin and tonic?

    3. Mike Schmidt

      Give her the Hunter Biden treatment?

      1. straffinrun

        Ouch. You shouldn’t mow your brother’s lawn even if he’s on vacation.

        1. Mike Schmidt

          Hey, I’m just spitballin’ here.

          1. straffinrun

            Fine. How about taking her on a scenic car ride ala Ted K.

          2. Mike Schmidt

            I like the way you think

          3. Mike Schmidt

            Wait…were talking Kennedy and not Kaczynski right? I mean the end result is the same, just two very different ways to go about it

          4. straffinrun

            Both were Luddites, so not much difference.

    4. Heroic Mulatto

      Get two hot Asian women to smear her face with VX nerve agent precursors.

      1. What?! No polonium in the soup?

    5. ZARDOZ would probably just keep suggesting “SEND BRUTAL ENFORCERS.”

      1. Pan Zagloba

        Finally some sensible advice!

    6. westernsloper

      Buy all her kids MAGA hats and pay them five bucks every time they wear them. She will just drink herself to death, or have a nervous breakdown.

  12. straffinrun

    Venezuela is down to its last $10 billion

    Maybe posted previously, but pointing and saying, “Ha, Ha!” never gets old.

    1. Mike Schmidt
    2. So about $5B from revolution (other $5B will end up disappearing with the Chavistas).

      1. straffinrun

        Massive government overspending, a crashing currency, mismanagement of the country’s infrastructure and corruption are all factors that have sparked extremely high inflation in Venezuela.

        Clearly not Chavez’s fault. Chavez’, Chavez’z? How do you put the possessive “s” on a “z”?

        1. bacon-magic

          Chavi

        2. Pan Zagloba

          Look, everything was going well (yes, there were saboteurs and wreckers, but their efforts were being curtailed) until CIA gave glorious Chavez cancer. Now look what the Americans are doing to the poor country with their low oil prices and cancer rays and paid oppositions.

  13. bacon-magic

    Playa,
    If you are lurking here I responded to your question on Sat. Afternoon links.

  14. Rufus the Monocled

    DON’T ANY OF YOU WORK?

    1. bacon-magic

      I’m working on a buzz. Know what I’m talkin’ aboot, eh?

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        No, I don’t. I refuse to be a stereotyped punch line!

        1. BakedPenguin

          You know, you could go to Tim’s and get a donair…

          1. Rufus the Monocled

            ….and BakedPenguin casserole.

          2. BakedPenguin

            Wow. Such hostility. You’ve actually been able to buy beer in grocery stores for a couple years now. Plus, hockey.

            SO GET YOUR CANADIAN ASS TO THE STORE BEFORE THEY RUN OUT OF LABATT’S, DART! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

        2. bacon-magic

          I’m so hungry I could eat poutine. This BC is loco.

        3. bacon-magic

          Sorey.

          1. thrakkorzog

            What were you talking aboot again?

    2. jesse.in.mb

      Hello.

    3. straffinrun

      I’m doing paperwork for the motherfucking, cocksucking, life ruining, boner withering, murderous intent heighting Ministry of Finance. I wouldn’t hate paperwork if I knew it’s sole purpose wasn’t to give a goddamned bureaucrat something to justify his mild rape of the public. So, in short, yes, I do have a job. *Double negatives aren’t not unnecessary at times.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Mild rape. How does it work?

        1. bacon-magic

          Shhhh…just let it happen. *gives Rufus a pillow*

          1. Rufus the Monocled

            …followed by light sobs of ‘eh?’

        2. straffinrun

          Microrape. Death by a thousand cunts making you fill out the same form over and over and over again.

          1. DenverJ

            Er… If it’s the same form, couldn’t you just, you know, like fill it out once and then print out a bunch of copies?

          2. straffinrun

            Each division of each department of each ministry needs to know exactly how much is spent on X and each form is slightly different. So, no, I can’t just copy it.

      2. thrakkorzog

        Borrowing a joke from another Yokel.

        So a professor of linguistics was giving a speech about double negatives. He pointed out that while double negatives in English cancel each other out, or at least cause confusion, in other languages, like Spanish and Russian, double negatives just make things more negative. But there is no known language where double positives cancel each other out. To which a student sarcastically replied, “Yeah, Right.”

    4. Hyperion

      It’s Sunday, bro.

  15. Akira

    Has anyone thought about how funny it is that “progressive” leftists have spent decades pushing for a government monopoly on firearms and rejecting the idea of citizens taking up arms against a tyrannical government, but now, all of a sudden, they’re squealing that there’s a Holocaust-level threat against gays, blacks, and Muslims from the allegedly tyrannical Trump administration?

    1. straffinrun

      Every day since November 8th. They definitely learned from the Boromir school of political science.

    2. Gilmore

      Yes, but the humor of it is just a tired (sigh)

      You could literally sit one of those leftists down and slowly act out the scenario step by step so that the irony would be crystal-clear to a 5yr old… and they’d just shake their head like YOU don’t understand, because “the second amendment is actually only about White People, duh, and no one like the NRA would ever support actual real-live minority people having guns, i mean educate yourself already.”

    3. PapayaSF

      The contradictions and absurdities are never-ending. I just saw a photo of an “anti-fascist” protestor burning a sign that said FREE SPEECH while giving it the finger. A week or so ago I saw a tape of a protester chanting “Free speech is hate speech.”

    4. Hyperion

      leftists have spent decades pushing for a government monopoly on firearms

      But that monopoly is going to be the ‘right’ people. Trump is the wrong people. And if you don’t believe he’s crazy, he’s talking about cutting some regulations!

      1. Akira

        … And they are simultaneously complaining about those “right people” (cops) being a bunch of trigger-happy racists.

  16. straffinrun

    My life as a zucchini. Conservatives freaking out over violence in video games again or lefties using stealth to brainwash the kiddos? Or a little of both?

    1. Gilmore

      Conservatives freaking out over violence in video games again

      Actually it reads more like hyperventilating about the idea that (GASP) animated films might not *actually* be just for kids despite their appearances, and they might actually have adult themes, which has TOTALLY NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE

      1. straffinrun

        The gushing reviews from people I despise certainly caused me to lend the pantshitters at least a hearing. The role of stories from Gilgamesh to Sophocles to Beowulf to Disney in shaping the views of the youth shouldn’t be underestimated. How about the critics of Zuchini make their own film? It’s not like Hollywood is revered these days for its moral righteousness.

      2. Hyperion

        animated films might not *actually* be just for kids despite their appearances

        Someone had better talk to the Japanese.

  17. PapayaSF

    Well, it’s looking like the Democrats have shot themselves in the foot, once again. The fake “Russia stole the election” propaganda has backfired. Now the DoJ has a good reason to look at exactly how the Obama administration got that October FISA warrant to bug Trump, why the earlier request was turned down (a rarity for FISA warrants), and how the information was handled. Oh, and how convenient that Obama loosened the rules for handling surveillance information, just before he left office! In a way that makes it much harder to catch leakers.

    The cries of “worse than Watergate!” from the expected quarters might actually be true. There are severe penalties for misusing FISA data. I would not be surprised if Obama and company were consulting with their lawyers right now.

  18. Sour Kraut

    A position on pizza we can all get behind:

    If he had his way, Iceland’s President would ban pineapple pizza

    http://edition.cnn.com/2017/02/21/europe/iceland-president-pineapple-pizza-ban-trnd/

    1. thrakkorzog

      I like Hawaiian style pizza. It has nice mix of salty and sweet. There I said it,

      It’s not my first choice, I tend to be more of a pepperoni and peppers kind of guy. But it is still better than a vegetarian or cheese pizza.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        I am preparing the Atomic Cat Butthole for you. And anyone else who disses the glory that is the classic Margherita. Pray that SP doesn’t see this- she is far more ruthless and deadly than I.

        1. Suthenboy

          I may have mentioned earlier in the week that I made some pineapple pork on coconut rice. I see no reason a pizza cant be made in that flavor theme. Just make sure your pork is not italian style sausage, the flavor isnt complementary. Pork and pineapple were made for each other.

          1. Old Man With Candy

            But they weren’t made for pizza. One must have standards.

          2. Azathoth

            It is perfectly fine to have pineapple pork w/ coconut rice on some sort of breadlike crust.

            It is even acceptable to fine some sort of cheese that will enhance and add to the flavors.

            But there is no need to call such a creation a ‘pizza’.

            Hmm…….pineapple pork and coconut rice on a scallion pancake base…………..

  19. JD

    So we get bullets but then have to deal WITH ALL CAPS?!

    The Glib giveth, and the Glib taketh away.

  20. Hyperion

    Wait… what is this? How did this happen?

    BRUTALS

    Brutals? I thought we were uppity barbarians.