Welp, I Brett’d the whole links turning them Green. Post your best link in the comments.
UPDATE: Links work, but I’m apparently banned from doing the links while “drunk” or “drinking” from now on. Look for the Monday PM Butt-chugging Links!
I hope everyone here has gotten an early start on Irish Cultural Appropriation. Or as alcoholics like to call it, “Amateur Night”.
- Now that the Russians have Trump in office,
they don’t need a military deterrent. - One of our own is probably in jail now after Michael Bay called out the police helicopters on an intruder. Or Shia LeBoeuf is trying to get a part in the new Transformers.
- PGA golfer handles alligator in true Florida Man fashion. “Go on, noaw. Git!”
- The Secret Service “lost” a laptop with Clinton email investigation files. I guess the owner wasn’t suicidal after all.
- Someone needs to teach this chimp to sing. We really are living in Heinlein’s Crazy Years.
Erin Go Blaaargh
If we’re doing quintessential Irish Songs, here’s my entry.
First.
linky no linky
Friday Afternoon Not Links, amirite???
You’re walking in the woods.
There’s no one around,
And your phone is dead.
Out of the corner of your eye you spot him,
Shia LaBeouf.
He’s following you
About 30 feet back.
He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint.
He’s gaining on you.
Shia LaBeouf.
You’re looking for your car,
But you’re all turned around.
He’s almost upon you now
And you can see there’s blood on his face!
My god, there’s blood everywhere!
Running for your life
(From Shia LaBeouf.)
He’s brandishing a knife.
(It’s Shia LaBeouf.)
Lurking in the shadows
Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf.
Living in the woods,
(Shia LaBeouf.)
Killing for sport,
(Shia LaBeouf.)
Eating all the bodies
Actual, cannibal Shia LaBeouf.
The light in the window is a crack in the sky
A stairway to darkness in the blink of an eye
A levee of tears to learn she’ll never be coming back
The man in the dark will bring another attack
Your mamma told you that you’re not supposed to talk to strangers
Look in the mirror and tell me do you think your life’s in danger here
No more Shia, Shia, Shia
No more Shia, Shia, Shia
No more Shia, Shia, Shia
No more Shia, Shia, Shia
Another day passes as the night closes in
The red light goes on to say it’s time to begin
I see the man around the corner waiting, can he see me?
I close my eyes and wait to hear the sound of someone screaming here
No more Shia, Shia, Shia
No more Shia, Shia, Shia
No more Shia, Shia, Shia
No more Shia, Shia, Shia
It’s just a sign of the times
Going forward in reverse
Still, these were our first
Its just a hand in the bush
A hand in LaBeouf
So now that it’s over can’t we just say good-bye? (bye-bye, bye-bye)
I’d like to move on and make the most of the night
Maybe a kiss before I leave you this way
Your lips are so cold I don’t know what else to say
I never wanted it to end this way my love, my darling
Believe me when I say to you in love I think
I’m falling here
No more Shia, Shia, Shia
No more Shia, Shia, Shia
No more Shia, Shia, Shia
No more Shia, Shia, Shia
It’s just a hand in LaBeouf
(in LaBeouf, in LaBeouf, in LaBeouf)
President Trump’s revised travel ban was put on hold Wednesday by U.S. District Court Judge Derrick Watson in Hawaii just hours before it was set to take effect after hearing arguments that the executive order discriminates on the basis of nationality.
According to reports, Watson met with President Obama a day before requested a temporary restraining order on President Trump’s new executive order.
Can I get the rope NOW? PLEASE?
That’s racial.
You’re goddamned right.
Fine. How about arranging a brief meeting with 13 guys, 1 of whom has a short rope and a swath of cloth and the rest are packing M14s?
From the rumors I’ve heard, Pres. Obama wouldn’t mind a little “brief meeting” with 13 guys and some kinky toys.
Reports? I would not put it past Obama, but c’mon. That is worse than the WaPo and their “sources said”
From the link, twitter proof-
1 Hawaii Judge Derrick Watson graduated WITH Obama at Harvard in 1991.
2 Nominated by Obama.
3 Obama was seen in Hawaii yesterday.
You left out that they are both carbon-based bipedal life forms!
Illuminati confirmed!!!!!
Apparently it is now okay to declare a law unconstitutional on the face because, despite what the text of the law says, you think the guy is lying about his reasons for the law.
Read this and weep.
The R’s need to steamroll the D’s and get Gorsuch confirmed.
This is scary, really scary. This is full bore judicial decisions based on politics not law. You want full on political warfare in the courts — and maybe on the street — this is how you do it. If a republican Judge had something like this, the Democrats (on the hill, in the newsrooms and on the streets) would have been screaming at the top of their lungs — and would have been correct to do so. Just think if a judge had said Obama’s opening of relations with Cuba was unconstitutional based on Obama’s 20 years in an anti-american church. I think this is one of the scariest political moments in my life.
We all thought zombies was going to be the end of civilization. turns out it was actually TDS.
( you say that like you think the two are different.)
Seriously, I think the average lefty has all of the logical processing of the average zombie.
Progressives ARE zombies.
Progressivism eats away at the brain until the only thing that a progressive can do is emote.
I can’t wait for the tribunals guided not by any rule of written law, but only by a “revolutionary sense of justice”. I’m sure it’ll work out just grand this time and not in a massive pile of corpses like every other time.
I think Brett meant Friday afternoon Lynx; an ode to his favorite WNBA team
And still the greatest of all web browsers. No autoplays ever.
The text is the right color, though.
I’m making the Irish American corned beef tonight!
first try at at, but I’ve seen it done at home enough.
You better not be boiling it.
oven is a good way to go.
It’s called braising.
It is when it’s in a proper dutch oven with decent stock.
I did mine sous vide. You know, the right way.
Out of curiosity, how do you finish it?
Boiling it with cabbage
Cool it for 30 minutes, quick dust with coarse pepper, in then into the convection oven with full fan at 550 for 7-10 minutes.
My wife doesn’t like me using the blow torch around the kids much anymore.
This year is a little different. My rub/cure is a lot closer to pastrami than corned beef. Lots of coriander and mustard, and a fair amount of sugar.
Oh, and it’s giant boneless short ribs instead of brisket.
Sounds good. Thank you.
This is the best cured meat recipe I’ve ever encountered:
https://www.chefsteps.com/activities/sous-vide-pastrami
Sloopy will claim to have a better one, but he’s lying. He’s also playing golf right now, so he won’t have a chance to argue until the thread is dead.
BEST RECIPE EVER
If Snoopy is wasting time playing with his balls, he deserves it.
I’ll beat you like a cousin at a wake for that.
meh.
a couple of barbacoa tacos plus one tongue
and that’s a great Patty’s day dinner.
Rice and bean sides of course.
The links, you Sugar Freed them.
UCLA vs Kent State is going to be a massacre.
Ewe suck.
I got money on them -18. Hope youre right.
SInce Swiss missed this I shall give you a *narrowed gaze*!
I hope everyone here has gotten an early start on Irish Cultural Appropriation
Yes, yes I have. Pacifico beer and Thai curry chicken and some noodles later. If one is to appropriate cultures, pick good ones.
WHAT?!
*drunk fistycuffs*
The cafeteria at my work was serving corned beef and cabbage. All I have to do now is smuggle some Jameson from my car and I’ll be set.
Interesting side note: Corned beef isn’t actually Irish.
No, we just made the stuff for the imperialists. It was too expensive to bring home. So they broiled bacon instead.
And actual Italians don’t give a fuck about Christopher Columbus.
Pacifico is my favorite beer when I need to stay sober enough to drive.
Because it’s so bad you just have a soda instead?
It’s not bad. It’s just watery. Great for staying hydrated in the sun.
^^this
mexican beer is more like an alternative to hydration. great for boating.
When my son was a lot younger, he’d retrieve mexican beer for me if asked for “toy beer”.
The second one is better
when I need to stay sober enough to drive
I have never encountered this dilemma.
Seconded. Pacífico in the bottle with lime and salt is the best hot day beer on the planet.
Surprised no one posted this today:
“Top of the morning to ye on this gray, grizzly afternoon. Kent O’Brockman, live on Main Street, where today everyone is a little bit Irish, except, of course, for the gays and the Italians.”
We want prohibition! We want prohibition!
Where’d you pinch the hooch? Is some blind tiger dealin’ suds on the side?
What are you looking at?
Well, I’ll *tell* you what we’re looking at, young man. A town gone mad. A town whose very conscience was washed away in a tide of beer and green vomit.
Drinking, violence. Is this what we associate with the Irish?
Potatoes?
Bad weather related poetry?
There once was a lady from Belfast
who took it quite often in the ass
there was a rumble from the sky
her man thought he would die
but she said it was just a bit of gas.
Rex Banner: Are you the “Beer Baron”?
Ned Flanders: If you’re talking about root beer, I plead guil-diddly-ilty as char-diddly arged.
Rex Banner: He’s not the “Beer Baron” but he sounds drunk. Book ’em boys!
Probably one of the ten best Simpsons’ episodes of all time.
Yeah, but which one is number 1?
Meh, I would go with a group rather than trying to pick just one. Unless you were being sardonic in which case, “well played.”
Picture of the golfer in question
Okay, see, I was trying to be as cool as Sloopy, and I was just sloppy.
I’ll bring my own links.
This is the WORST case of cultural appropriation I’ve ever seen!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yO7MWuJ7zLA
I love that song.
It’s almost on a Tim and Eric level
Playa: Doing the hard work in order to liven our day.
*squints, rubs eyes, squints harder*
What the fuck did I just see? Really, what the hell was that?
This is how you do evil:
BOFH: Don’t back up in anger
Holy. Shit. I… that’s either the most brilliant or evil thing I’ve ever read.
Interesting.
What is a PFY?
The PFY is “The Pimply-Faced Youth”. At first he and his boss, “The Bastard Operator from Hell” were rivals, until they worked out that they could team up, working together to carve out a lovely space for them to fuck around while completely shielded from any deliverables or threats of firing.
Occasionally, a PFY challenges the BOFH, and if he wins, he becomes the BOFH, and if he loses he is fired and replaced.
They’re kind of like the Sith without the swordsmanship and cool weapons.
Goddam. It’s been twenty years since I read BOFH. I had to think about the acronyms for a moment and then they all came back.
So is this the original author or some newby taking over? Incidentally, iOS wants to autocorrect newby to Brent.
Did he fall down the elevator shaft or get trapped in the server room when the Halon test was ongoing?
Love BOFH
Always thought The Cranberries were a bit of a downer with their songs about drugs and poverty, but then found out they were from Limerick and I’m surprised they aren’t all in jail or dead of stab wounds.
the Irish? Depressing? Hmmmm.
Everyone has this idea that alligators are little bags of rage with teeth. You have to really piss off an alligator for it to actually bite you, or it has to be really hungry and you have to look really really vulnerable. Reptiles take a big risk every time they bite down on something. They aren’t going to waste it on you unless they have to.
This comment would more awesome if there was no mention of alligators in the links.
Marsupials scare me…
woo pig soooie!
Next up, a drubbing by NC
Re the chimp link: 1) chimps vocal apparatus are different than ours, but some have become proficient at American Sign Language. Speech, as I have often pointed out is different than language. 2) Ironically, Heinlein argued for Chimp personhood in his story “Jerry was a Man.”
2) Ironically, “Jerry was a Man” hinged on Jerry singing for the jury.
Ah, it’s been decades since I last read that. A lot of research has been done since the story was written. Back then they thought they might be able to teach them to speak.
Smashing things is speech, or so I learned at Berkeley. Chimps are great at that.
I’ve made like a dozen Jerry references over the past few weeks and not one of these fuckers has picked up on them. I am ashamed of all of you. Except Tonio.
Aww…
Another song by Irish drunks. Not particularly Irish, but peppy.
I knew Bayern wouldn’t get Dortmund or Leicester. 😡
Too Depressing to Make into a Gus Van Sant Film?
That happened to my buddy, only in GA. She did 90 days in county, he paid child support until he got custody 12 years later. Yeah, child support at 15. Murca, fuck yeah.
Wow… that social worker needs a fucking good kicking.
Dude. It’s the fucking law. Mandated reporting.
Turns every therapist, doctor and teacher into spies.
Only the District Attorney gets to use his/her judgement as to who gets their life destroyed. Not the teachers/care providers! That would be anarchy!
I am a firm believer in the ‘snitches get stitches’ school of justice.
In the meantime, both parents had multiple scrapes with the law; Ricky Guffey for drugs, and Shannon Guffey for charges that included credit card fraud and theft. The father is imprisoned on six drug charges, state records show, and the mother went to prison in 2015 after testing positive for methamphetamine while in a community corrections program after a conviction for credit card fraud.
Mekenzie didn’t have a chance.
One thing that always jumps out at me, and that I find odd:
A lot of these kids end up with the grandparents. You know, the same grandparents that raised the really shitty parents.
Is there any reason to believe they’ll do a better job the second time around?
Sometimes they do.
Maybe.
My maternal grandparents were incredibly nice, loving people, but they had trouble saying no. They were the type of people that, if I didn’t do something, they’d do it for me.
If I were raised by them, there’s a good chance I’d be in jail right now.
The two most important things my parents ever said to me:
“No”.
and
“If you don’t like the rules, leave.”
basrd on that same theory, how dod your parents turn out so well with such nad parents themselves ?
It’s very common for grandparents to be more indulgent to their grand children than they were to their children.
they consider it their kids to be the discipline and they are the unconditional love.
I love my granparents memory just for that reason while fully inderstanding that my fathers belt made me a man
My mom was very self driven and not at all wild. Same with her sister. My uncle, on the other hand….
My dad didn’t grow up with that bullshit.
I love my grandparents’ memory just for that reason while fully understanding that my fathers belt made me a man
This. My maternal grandparents (despite all their failings as parents… 66% of their children are living partially or fully subsidized by them) are awesome grandparents (minus a few issues when my parents got divorced). They’re similarly indulgent (too indulgent as parents, IMO), but also challenging when they needed to be. Some of the hardest work I’ve ever done in my life was working with my grandfather clearing out brush so that a plot of oak trees his father planted could be logged.
There’s also another dynamic in the parent-child relationship that is often ignored: maturity of the relationship. Some parents treat their high schoolers the same way they treated them in 4th grade. Some treat their 4th graders like adults. A hard part is giving each child the appropriate structure, leniency, and responsibility for their personality and their age.
best of a series of bad-options, usually.
the idea being that the older they get, the more they realized their earlier mistakes.
It’s amazing was a few decades of experience and self reflection will do to an individual.
One of the Psych episodes we watched last night [spoilers] had the father trying to keep his son out of jail so that the son wouldn’t get a DNA test, which would result in the father being charged with a murder from years before.
“Police got search warrant for everyone who Googled Edina resident’s name
The warrant asks to collect personal information of anyone who searched a specific name on Google, creating “a scary slippery slope” according to one privacy law expert.”
http://www.startribune.com/search-warrant-issued-to-edina-police-raises-privacy-concerns-of-internet-users/416442113/
You’re assuming the judge read it before stamping it. That’s your mistake.
Whatcha wanna bet the victim is someone with connections to the police, thus the heavy handedness.
One of today’s bits of WTF comes from the newly minted continent of Zealandia:
Grizz the airport security dog shot after escape
I read this too. I had and still have no words. Except what the fuck. And really?
Geez! Now they’re killing their own dogs?
They do it all the time.
They just leave them in hot cars with the windows up.
I guess you can’t tranq a dog in NZ?
They could just let the dog run around. It would have been a danger only to itself.
Here’s an explanation as to why a trank wasn’t used (not supporting, just reporting). Warning: autoplay vid at top of page:
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11820548
When Any Limits At All are Too-Much = New Orleans Edition
points for use of term = “Chronic Tonic”
(*translated from New Orleansese)
As someone who has been ‘that guy’ numerous times in N.O. I salute their concession to reality
aka: the cops feed of girls lifting their shirt for beads cam.
The pigs want to force us to pay for it, too.
Today we honor the memory of Father Theobald Matthew, Irish temperance reformer
‘Irish Teetotaler’. There’s two words you don’t usually close together.
Mathew with one “t”
Irish anti-jazz killjoys
At least jazz leaves your liver alone.
The Alt-Text: “Cabbage tastes worse the second time.”
Someone needs to teach this chimp to sing.
If the chimp has rights, give the chimp a gun and see if he shoots his lawyers.
2nd Amendment rights.
Years ago, I was listening to an NPR story about some Irish festival or other. The narrator described taking a Latino friend to the festival; said friend exclaimed, “I didn’t know that white people had culture!”
There was no mention by the narrator if he (or she) next took the Latino to the opera, followed by the ballet.
Huh, of course we have a culture. We put on Sombreros and celebrate Cinco de Mayo!
I put soy sauce on my rice.
“Police are treating as a hate crime the defacement of a Belfast memorial to an Irish Zionist who fought in World War One….
“…Lieutenant Colonel John Henry Patterson….served in the British Army and commanded a volunteer force known as the Jewish Legion.”
Seems like an interesting guy
He was my grandfather’s CO. No joke.
They moved his remains to Israel in 2014.
jTruman was my fathers commanding officer.
No joke.
Well, he was the CO of the UVF during the Irish Uprising. It’s hardly surprising the Irish Republican movement despise his memory. A very interesting guy – if there isn’t a solid biography of his career, there should be.
See Eddie’s link above.
Anyone want to do right by some second graders, and fill out their class survey? It’s fun.
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdGYukpjcJPtdEGRCVJr1KFQiyI2bJHfdreTfZ4IxXYx6nk6Q/viewform
My choice of food is Pizza or Soup?
And you chose?
I chose Life!
Frankie says relax, too.
well it could a been giraffe or zebra.
Done.
Cutest ever.
Some of those were hard.
“Olaf” wasn’t an option for favorite Frozen character.
I would’ve selected Sven.
The donkey?
Where’s the “1st and 2nd generation Pokemon only” option?
Also, check your American privilege on the ‘Indiana or Illinois’ question. I don’t even know what the stereotypes for those states are, how am I supposed to choose?
Hoosier Daddy vs Chicago.
IIRC Indiana speaks the most neutral American English. They sound kind of like Californians with less “likes” strewn about, but at the speed of a southerner on a hot day.
Illinois would probably be Toronto:Chicago::Ontario:Illinois
I read somewhere that Americans in the Midwest are the easiest to understand in the entire English-speaking world. You get people from Scotland, Australia, S. Africa, anywhere and a Midwesterner would be the one they are comfortable listening to.
The Chicayhgo accent is easily the ugliest one in the US.
Y’all serious?
Yes I eeyem.
As a French speaking foreigner that had to do a bit of traveling in the U.S. I’d agree with that. The one I had the most problem with is South-Eastern accent. They have a mix of a Southern pronunciation but they talk as fast as New-Englanders, Heck I had an easier time talking with the Mexican crew that I was working with than with the locals.
Oh and I don’t know how it is in BC John, but in Indiana, they sold 60 oz of Smirnoff in drugstores for about half the price we pay for it here in QC. (including the exchange rate). But they don’t sell booze on Sunday :(.
Only one of them doesn’t have Chicago politicians.
I don’t hold all of Ontario responsible for Toronto, so why would I do that for poor Illinois?
The question was “which state do you like more?” If the question was about pizza with pepperoni or pizza with pineapple, the same logic would apply. One of the choices contains something unsavory.
You don’t like pizza with pineapple? Come on man don’t be a wankel.
Damn it, now I want jalapeño, pepperoni and pineapple pizza and I know it’s not what I’m having for dinner.
No human does.
My girlfriend is black and puts pineapple on her pizza. Jessie Jackson has already been notified.
Deep-dish pineapple pizza … with anchovies.
Pick Indiana. Trust me.
If you’re still not sure, Chicago is in Illinois.
Chicago has the Blackhawks, though.
Indiana has John Cougar.
I don’t listen to hip-hop.
Indiana also has Orville Redenbacher and a certain muppet with an affinity for trash.
Done
This space has been intentionally left blank
ooohh, it was written by 2nd graders not by the teacher for 2nd graders. Can we get an edit fairy over here and delete my comment?
HA! Nice
SO RACIST
Also = for “Where are you From?”, i answered: “Mommy”
“Does your name start with a vowel or a consonant”
My real name is an ideoglyph unpronounceable by humans.
The Artist formerly known as ideoglyph?
Hair is blond. Women are blonde.
Sorry, I can’t do it. I hate Disney princesses.
Technically shouldn’t we all be choosing “sheep” for our favorite animal?
aw, that’s adorable. Can we pass around the link?
be hilarious if it went viral
It has… Was on last night’s episode of ‘@ Midnight’.
Ha didn’t know. The way my friend linked to it, it looked local.
The question about pokemon made me think a lot harder than I wanted to.
Totes adorbs.
You realize that by completing the survey, you just gave the CIA and hackers all your personal info, right?
By the way, what un-American snotnoggin doesn’t like ice cream?
UnCivil
I don’t dislike it but I can’t tell you when the last time I ate any was, maybe late 90’s?
The very best ice cream, if one is eating just ice cream and not as a garnish to a double chocolate chip brownie or peach cobbler (in which case Blue Bell’s Homemade Vanilla is the proper selection), is Ben & Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk.
I’m an ice cream socialist.
A scoop of vanilla for everyone!
(Two scoops of chocolate for me.)
Only because nobody has ever offered you Haagen Dasz Brussels Sprout and Eggplant
You’re not entitled to your own facts, Number.6
Wait. Your comment doesn’t make sense. Were you replying to me or TH?
Look at the nesting, lad. Look at the nesting.
*squints*
*looks out of corner of eye*
*Looks away, then quickly back*
I guess I was wr…
I guess I was wro..
I guess….
Who eats eggplant ice cream, anyway?
Oh I’ve been offered plenty of eggplant.
…wait, I don’t think that’s the euphemism that I think it is.
I caused a bit of an amusing ruckus on facederp today.
People were going on about the evilness of the Trump budget, which will deprive us of the arts, education, choke our rivers with pollution and block the roads with a sea of corpses of the elderly.
And I replied:
The screaming hysteria was lovely. Lots of spittle flecked rants about how Democratic Socialism was different and cared about people. and Venezuela isn’t socialist because the right wing oligarchs were able to sabotage Chavez.
Also, apparently Dan Rather is the only journalist with the integrity to speak truth to power left.
When people are that detached from reality…
I got into it, and the comment was deleted, which means I won.
I asked if it was fair to force a day laborer in Nogales to pay for a menstrual blood painter’s work in San Francisco.
Yeah but you got your answer.
Menstrual blood painting is something we all do together, as a society.
Do you need a scarf?
Sounds unsanitary.
Pass.
Do you have any idea of how much time and effort goes into one of those menstrual blood paintings? We are talking many moons worth of blood.
I don’t know whether to applaud or be grossed out by the thought…
You make the point as a joke but my gf is currently an art major and one of her professors is a dadaist that specializes in.. and no I am not making a word of this up.. bodily fluids. He paints… with his own… bodily… fluids.
Does he give the canvas his essence?
“That’s MY line!”– Gen. Ripper
At some point, it seems that the beauty that once defined good art has been lost like the forest for the trees.
Dan Rather was recently quoted as saying we were a “divided nation.”
It really sounded like he stayed up all night working on that insight.
This is why I avoid social media. Terrible place to have a civilized discussion. Instead, I come over here and we can throw shit at everyone else.
Nicely done. I am still on my FB sabbatical.
If I have a FB account, it’s only because I would have signed up to read something that only members can read.
I went on mine in 2008 and never went back.
The Law, more than anything else, I think really pushed me completely into libertarianism. It’s such an incredible treatise.
I’ve gotten FB mileage out of this quote. It seems to throw people off more than the others.
That’s another nice one.
I believe that their answer to that final question is “yes.”
I truly believe that much of the story of the progressivist movement is really the story of the oligarchs of the present trying to maintain their eroding power in the face of the latest creative destruction.
In another generation, the children of the current band that is coming to the fore will take up progressivism to maintain their privilege as the wheel of change starts to elevate someone else to their status.
That’s what gives them such an angry edge. It’s fear of the social order that served them so well up to a few years ago turning against them.
Oh God, I just checked my Facebook and saw one of my friends post something along those lines. “OMG, HE’S CUTTING EVERYTHING JUST TO INCREASE MILITARY!” I really don’t know what’s with these people.
Me Irish ditty
Meh. Ireland is overrated. I’m going to be busy pretending I’m John Titor.
Unless you fight a moose with brain parasites with a shovel, you need to get on my level.
Trying to figure out if that’s your Rite of Passage, or the way the average Canadian asks a girl out.
I think that’s how they ask the moose out.
That happened to me about five years ago around the Whitefish Lake First Nation. Three of us were digging a foundation for a shed when this moose comes out the woods, pissed as hell for no reason, and starts chasing after one of the guys. He runs to the truck, rolls over the front, and gets in through the passenger door. Moose loses interest and turns on us, the two guys who were pretty much frozen still with surprise, still holding our shovels. Thing runs at us, making sounds like this. We get out of the way, and my immediate reaction is to smack in on the nose. Moose turns to me, bellowing and advancing, and the other guy smacks it on the ass. We keep smacking and yelling at it, moose gets paranoid because it’s surrounded and starts trying figure out which one of us it should take. Finally the other guy got the rifle out of the truck and fired in the air, making it dart off. We all kind of stood there, weirded out, wondering what the fuck just happened.
Ten minutes later it’s back, hiding in the woods, staring at us. We kept the rifle close.
Write up your experience and sell it to some comedy show as a bit.
the other guy smacks it on the ass
See, Hammercorps?
Damn, New Zealand’s got nothing on these guys.
Mynd you, moose bites Kan be pretti nasti…
Suggestive poses for the moose
suggested by Vic Rotter
A moose once bit my sister.
t the evilness of the Trump budget, which will deprive us of the arts, education, choke our rivers with pollution and block the roads with a sea of corpses of the elderly.
No more federally funded
after schoolbabysitting programs! What sort of monster doesn’t want that?I see the favicon has been updated.
On my phone it’s a green padlock, for St. Patrick’s Day, I’ll assume.
I do too, yay!
Here to testify it looks great on my phone! 😀
Have not read yet but plan to = Why Pakistan is a Disaster
I assume the short answer is = “Pakistanis”
Pakistan is definitely in contention for one of the top “worst countries on earth” by a variety of measures. It was pointed out in 2013 the election would mark the very first time in its history the country had a transfer of power that *wasnt* a coup/assassination/or abdication or other sort of clusterfuck. I think they’ve also been at war pretty much non-stop since their formation. And not just w/ India, but internally.
I would think the mass exodus out of India would have a lot to do with it. Displacement tends to make people bloody crazy.
Well i think that explains a lot of the internal conflict. The mass migration basically made ‘natives’ a minority in their own country.
Do they let Indians into Pakistan? I thought they were mortal enemies? I remember reading an Outside Magazine article years ago about the ongoing battle (at the time) between disputed territory up in the Himalayas. Kashmir? The thing that blew my mind about the article is the soldiers would live up at 17,000 + feet for months and chuck grenades at each other. People are not supposed to hang out too long at those elevations w/out O2. Craziness. (I didn’t read the link)
Obligatory =Indians and Pakistanis: Too Faggy for (Real) War
I have always enjoyed this piece. For bits like this =
That is some high grade keyboard commando shit right there. I bet this dude is a veteran of the meme wars.
Gary Brescher is sort of nuts (and a lefty if i’m not mistaken), but an entertaining writer
Well, he writes for The eXile, a site that seems to think libertarians are behind everything.
Oh, one of those people. If only, if only…
Also
Cowsualties?
I liked his ending sentence: They’ll probably wipe each other out someday, but till then it’s just going to be dead cows and villagers, and dumb generals in secondhand British uniforms talking big for the camera with their little moustaches going up and down, up and down.
Part of that Outside article mentioned how the Indians followed proper tea times. Silver trays and served by enlisted wearing white gloves, with a magnificent range of mtn’s in the background.
The article I read the fighting was not around any villages. Nobody lives that high except yettis and soldiers trying to not freeze to death.
There was a mass exodus of Muslims out of India into Pakistan both during and following the Partition, mostly due to mob violence by Muslims and Hindus on each other respectively. There were ‘refugees’ and immigrants in the 60s at least, not to mention others from Bengal. I believe with stricter border policies the numbers have gone down.
I think it was more of an expulsion than an exodus. The Hindus got tired of putting up with the Muslim’s shit.
I’ll save us both the time of reading it.
These people, like most of the Middle East, are tribalists. Tribal mentality means support my tribe no matter how corrupt and fuck over the other tribe no matter what. Should my tribe over throw the tribe in charge, it’s time to turn the tables and perpetuate the same abuses on them that they’ve perpetrated on my group. Until they can move past this, they cannot build a high trust society and cannot expect change or progress.
This describes most of the world to some degree or other.
Sooooo, Democrats and Republicans?
So, I have a friend that is an off the boat Pakistani (he recently was naturalized and graduated at the same time I did). I was telling him a story about when I went with my father to his log cabin out in the middle of nowhere in the Colorado rockies. He was listening, literally mouth agape, and at the end he said “Your father has a house out in the mountains that he doesn’t live in? What about the bandits?”
“The… what?” I asked. “The bandits. You don’t have people with guns that take over vacant houses in this country?”
He was dead. Serious. Apparently in 2017 Pakistan if you leave a somewhat rural house vacant for a period of time, armed squatters will take it over and you are SOL. I was dumbfounded.
Pakistan basically doesn’t control half of its western part, it’s technically an autonomous tribal zone but unless the military’s around it’s basically anything goes.
A pakistani girl i worked with basically said that half (probably more like 30-40%) of the country is modern and well educated and reasonably middle class and so on….
… but that you need only drive like 20 miles to go back in time like 200 years to where people live in huts and basically shoot strangers on sight and the rule of law is basically “the Koran”.
Costa Rica has similar squatters rights.
Huh? Outside of the first world countries that is how it works. You cant own land in most of latin america unless you hire guns to guard it. Essentially you just choose your plot and run everyone else off.
I did finally read that (it was much shorter than i had thought), and it was actually pretty shallow and nothing new (at least analysis-wise).
Instapundit flagged it so i figured there was some meat on the bones there.
Pakistanis
Ok, people from Afghanistan are called Afghans. People from Uzbekistan are called Uzbeks. People from Tajikistan are called Tajiks. People from Turkmenistan are called Turkmen. People from Kazakhstan are called Kazakhs.
People from Pakistan should be called Paki or Pakis.
Via Instatpundit =
winning reply was the first one, which is, (paraphrase) = “DUH. Irish !=White”
if that isn’t a troll account simply trying to parody SJW, it should be.
I think troll = confirmed (if it wasn’t in the first one)
I don’t want to be part of any white nationalist movement that includes the Irish.
Or the Italians. Or Spaniards.
How the Irish Became White
Italians have nationalists?
I believe there’s a rather famous one named ‘Garibaldi’.
To be fair, it’s not so much Garibaldi and more like Garirecedinghairline.
Known all over the world for his fabulous bagna cauda.
Yeh, but nationalism never stuck much to the chagrin of patriots like Garibaldi and Verdi I’m sure!
The Irish had to FIGHT to become white. It’s like people don’t even Noel Ignatiev anymore.
Also –
i’m no expert, but the model-chick in the photo doesn’t actually look very irish to me, despite the red hair. Just too waify. maybe scandi
There’s Scandi in the Irish. Norse had to fuck someone when they hung out there.
Yeah i know mr encyclopedia i’m just saying she looks like a purebreed rather than a mic-mutt
She ain’t one of mine. Wrong color eyes. That’s mick shit.
I’ve become so cynical that I think the laptop was intentionally allowed to be “stolen.”
BBC: US Secret Service laptop with Trump Tower plans stolen in New York
‘Indirectly taken at gunpoint’ is probably a better description.
Its in the LINKS!
The thief stepped out of a dark-colored car, possibly an Uber, and stole the laptop from Argentieri’s vehicle, a 2015 Bajaj, which was parked in the driveway of her Bath Beach home, sources said. Neighbors said the thief struck about 3 a.m.
Uber is already manufacturing automobiles?
that’s retarded.
of course, its the Daily News. So they just throw that shit in there to try and implicate all the “usual suspects” that they try and tar.
They also sourced other bullshit-speculation to their witnesses, like, “Probably from Brighton beach” (why? Just spitballing), and therefore RUSSIAN
So it seems like this “possibly an Uber” bit is a totally unfounded supposition put in there by “sources”, perhaps because anti-Uber sentiment is fashionable amongst the bien-pensants at the moment? Jesus Christ, the story is even tagged “Uber” as well.
Also, this following section doesn’t exactly dismay me from my highly skeptical line of thinking:
Mignuolo said he was excited by the intrigue and theorized the thief is from nearby Brighton Beach, a Russian enclave.
“What’s going on is crazy,” he said, “with the Russians and the President.”
Bullshit. I could find that laptop. Easy peasy. Hang said agent by her toes until she tells who she gave it to.
I give her three hours, tops.
The SS agent’s vehicle is allegedly a Bajaj, which is an Indian motorcycle company. She’s pretty hardcore if she was riding to/from work in sub-zero temperatures right after a blizzard
Mignuolo said he was excited by the intrigue and theorized the thief is from nearby Brighton Beach, a Russian enclave.
“What’s going on is crazy,” he said, “with the Russians and the President.”
The laptop thief was seen running from a moose and a flying squirrel less than an hour later.
“theorized the thief is from nearby Brighton Beach, a Russian enclave.”
Editors? What do they do?
After walking off the suspect turned onto Cropsey Ave. and dumped the bag in the snow outside a private home. Residents there had no comment.
They did it.
Semi-retarded council member is concerned about the government attacking integrity of journalism, suggests solution: government funded media.
Opening line:
“We have entered a post-factual world.”
Ouch.
Second paragraph:
“The president of the United States verbally attacks journalists and repeats false statements over and over. He threatens reporters and contends they will suffer consequences because he disagrees with their reporting.”
Obama is still in power?
Yeah, but all snark aside, the half-wit thinks that putting Trump in charge of media will fix this. I really don’t know how someone can be this stupid.
All kidding aside, NPR and CBC can come up with good stuff.
“The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter.”
So naturally Mr. Putz takes this as a springboard to advocate for government funded journalism. Highly doubt Tommy would have gone there.
“…Can you imagine a news media mix without NPR? I listen constantly and appreciate the in-depth coverage, diversity of opinion and fact-based reporting. But this type of journalism is at risk and that’s why we should act now.”
Yes. Yes I can. The art and craft of journalism and its inquisitive nature acts independent of government. You don’t need the latter to create the former.
What is it with progressive and their propensity to say, ‘can you imagine a world without (insert government program of choice here)’?
“…Or, through city government we can do our part to make sure we have many thriving, independent, objective, and fact-based media voices in Seattle.
A post-factual world? Or a world infused with objective, fact-based journalism? Seattle can and should lead the way on this important mission.”
Poor guy. He’s all consfoosed.
Izvestia!
He could saved some effort and just quoted Barrack Obama: “It was better years ago when we all worked from the same set of facts.” (paraphrasing)
Weasel, hen house. And this dude wants to leave the door wide open…
Later when I’m done I’m going to head down to the local Irish bar and order a round of my favorite beer for the house.
Black and Tans for everybody! Who doesn’t like a Black and Tan? You get a Black and Tan! You get a Black and Tan! You get a Black and Tan!
Everybody gets a Black and Tan!
Years ago I was playing a game online with a group that included an Irishman and a Brit, and Irish Car Bombs came up in conversation. They both got pretty miffed that such a drink existed.
Yeah, I was told very emphatically not to order an irish car bomb in belfast. They don’t think that shit’s funny.
What about ordering a Trail of Tears at an Indian casino.
Except the girls – Orange for them
Oh shit,
OprahWarren has been possessed by the spirit of Oprah.Edited to reflect idiocy
In my brief stay in England I went to the small bar at Paddington station. I noticed that they had Guinness and Bass on tap. I asked the bartender “Are you familiar with a black and tan?” to which he replied he was not. “It’s when you pour about 3/4th of a pint of bass and then you finish it off with a nice layer of Guinness on top.” Well he looked at me like I had just asked him to kill and cook a human baby. Horror and disgust poured out of his agape mouth and watering eyelids.
I guess they don’t mix their beers in England.
They look at you like that if you ask them for anything other than a beer.
No, you can also ask for a cider. They just think you’re a ponce or a drunk.
touche
Yeah I just looked it up myself on wikipedia. I now have no earthly idea what that guy was on. Maybe he just didn’t want to serve a yank?
I put it in blockquote. What happened?
It looked like
And it’s been fixed.
Thanks, Edit Beary!
And this, which I need because….reasons.
Well that’s in the wrong spot. I’ve done pulled a GILMORE!
No one in Ireland really drinks Bass.
Well this is poorly timed…
Syria Fires Missiles at Israeli Warplanes After Airstrikes
Do you want an invasion? Because that’s how you get an invasion.
The Syrian bloodletting, which erupted in March 2011…”
Six flippin’ years.
I was unaware that Israel had started shooting in this one. Who are they shooting at? the Iranians?
The Syria shit show is not going to end well.
It looks like they’ve been taking out materiel believed to be headed for Hezbollah for a while.
Can’t really blame them for that I guess.
It’s a more or less regular event there. About as deadly as a Pakistani taxi driver slap fight.
We had our corned beef yesterday because today’s Friday and, like proper Irish, we’re Catholic. (Sorry, Oranges.) Then we found out that the bishop gave everyone in the diocese a dispensation and we could have had it today anyway. Sigh.
Did you at least wake up with a hangover? Or do you drink and eat left over corned beef today?
The plan had been to drink tonight since I never heard anything about no booze on Fridays 😉 But now I can enjoy my leftover corned beef with it, so I guess it’s a win/win.
and there was much rejoicing.
First it was meat on Fridays the rest of the year, now meat on Fridays during Lent?… the Pius Xers were right. It’s all a slippery slope.
“bishop gave everyone in the diocese a dispensation”
God damn Catholics with their rule-bendin’!!
For your amusement, I took this from a collection of “Common Songs in various regions” in honor of the holiday today:
We have of course the traditional Irish music genres to go with them:
* Everyone I Love Is An Allegorical Representation of Ireland
* The English Stole My Farm And Put Sheep On It
* You Were My Boyfriend But Now You Won’t Even Come To The Window To Look Upon Me And Our Dead Infant Child (In The Rain)
* Whack Fol Too La Roo Umptytiddly Good They’ve Stopped Listening Now Let’s Talk About Revolution
* Something In Irish, I Think It’s About Fairies, Or Maybe A Cow
Behold the Kiwi Guard.
“K: for KENNY & THE KASUALS!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9odQ_7Tbs7k
The thief stepped out of a dark-colored car, possibly an Uber, and stole the laptop from Argentieri’s vehicle, a 2015 Bajaj
A 2015 Bajaj? AKA, a tuk-tuk?
Who is so stupid as to leave anything of value in a tuk-tuk? A Secret Service agent, I guess.
Oh yeah, and LAST!
I had a gin and tonic – not Irish enough?
Jesus Christ, Lord Humungus! I just called, “last.”
Personally, I’ve been drinking vodka cranberry’s all night.
While a G&T isn’t “Irish” it certainly represents their colonial oppressors quite well.