In a world run by animals, It’ll take more than a man to survive.

Florida Man accidentally set me on a disastrous quest last night, dear reader; a disastrous quest to find a furry spoof of Mad Max Fury Road. The disaster came about because he misremembered the title and set me looking on Amazon and Google for “Furry Road” and have since had to raze my internet identity to the ground and start fresh as Ásbjӧrn Bernhard of Oshkosh, WI. I have also learned important lessons about using the term furry in GIS with safe search disabled.

After letting me twist in the wind for a bit, FM found the correct name for the movie Furry Fury and let me know it was only six minutes long. Back to Amazon, more searching for furry-related content, and I’m settling in for six minutes of the worst cinema I’ve seen in a long time… possibly since I saw Battlefield Earth in theaters, which has a 3% on Rotten Tomatoes. That said, at only six minutes, I didn’t come away feeling cheated for time, though certainly this movie lacked the muzzled post-apocalyptic Tom Hardy which made Fury Road watchable. We live in an era where even fan films can have a significant amount of polish; Furry Fury feels like an intentional nostalgia trip to low-budget ’80s movies. Every element of it is poorly executed and somehow that works as an homage to the B-movies of yesteryear. I’m sure Gojira would love this film were he not so triggered by furries (and homemade ice cream, but that’s a tale for another time).

The plot is elegant: Wolf encounters the feline Furryosa in some post-apocalyptic ruins while she is running away from a gang comprised of Bear, Dog, and Kangareau (with puppet joey) and must battle to save her. The action is delightfully gory in classic B-movie style, and the cuts and edits are painfully obvious. There is no yiffing and the film is entirely safe for work (although if your coworkers catch you watching a movie with entirely furry actors they may judge you).

Available on Amazon with Prime and YouTube