Good Friday = Good links? Eh, you be the judge of that. Everyone here at Glibertarians is mourning the death of our Lord and Savior (mostly by drinking or burning one) – except (((OMWC))) who is quaffing wine and chuckling, most evilly. Bah. But be that as it may, here are some links.
- Some folks get a mite enthused by Good Friday.
- Religious folks behind the Cheddar Curtain can breathe a bit easier now.
- A bit of a lengthy jury deliberation.
- I had no idea Japan even had the death penalty – but it looks like it might get used in this case.
- Ah, police union leadership. I hate to stereotype – but Good Lord, look at that photo.
Be witty in the comments, but not so much that I remember one of y’alls wisecracks and start laughing whilst doing the Stations of the Cross tonight, mkay?
Comments
378 responses to “Friday Afternoon Links, Good.”
“Some folks get a mite enthused by Good Friday.”
Knew without clicking it had to be those crazy filipinos
Yeah, they make Ashura in Iraq look tame.
I notice they don’t go all in and nail their ankles. It also looks like they tied up the chests of the heavier people. In a crucifixion execution, death is eventually caused by suffocation (days or weeks after they are nailed to the cross) when the poor slob is too exhausted to hold up his head and chest without support.
Days. Dehydration takes only a couple of days. Unless someone is feeding and watering them.
Unless the Romans get impatient and break your leg bones to speed up the process.
I’m not endorsing it, but what if it was either that or an extended HR-mandated White Privilege seminar?
Today I learned that Japan kills people via hanging. I thought that method of execution was unique to germanic peoples. Neato
I thought they just handed them a sword and expected them to do the right thing. Movies have lied to me yet again.
Even the samurai had a second to chop their heads off after they started. Cutting your own guts out tends to be a bit difficult.
And besides, there had to be some method for executing the dishonorable classes…
I understand that only people in the samurai class were afforded the honor of seppuku. The peons were executed by various ways.
Seppuku’s an honourable death, not an execution. Japanese criminal law was pretty similar to Chinese criminal law in terms of executions, i.e. they weren’t pleasant.
Also when the Europeans showed up they may have taken the wrong lesson from the whole ‘cross’ thing.
No, those are legitimate Roman methods of use.
Where’s the nails? Can’t have a proper crucifixion without the nails.
Rope works well enough. Death by exposure is a nasty way to go.
Hypothermia, dehydration, blood loss and infection if nailed, but the ultimate cause of death is asphyxiation when you don’t have enough strength to hold your head up to maintain a good airway.
Of course (((you))) would want to get a proper crucifixion set-up. Next you’ll be teaching them how to make the goyim’s crops fail.
Of course we share our chemtrail formulas with the Japanese. Don’t be silly. It’s worth it though. I’m currently using my Samsung Galaxy S11 because of our deal.
Japanese…Samsung
RACIST!
+1 Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere
I just need to know what speed to set my mixer while preparing matzoh with the ground up bones of gentile infants.
no no no. You need blood to make the matzoh, not bones. The bones you grind up to make a homonculus to aid in your (((witchery)))
Today I learned that Japan still has capital punishment.
No execution by tameshigiri?
I misread that as “execution by tamagotchi”.
Yep, and IIRC they don’t tell the prisoner when they’re going to be hung until the day of, like an hour or two ahead of time. I think the idea is that it’s supposed to keep them from dwelling on it.
The modern Japanese legal code borrows heavily from Britian’s from the 1890’s-1910’s, so it’s hardly surprising they at least initially adopted a number of behaviors from them too.
Isn’t this a bit early?
Who the hell showed us the remains of the suicide bomber a couple of days ago? That was brutal. Anywhoo, been butting heads over at Slate and no one seems to have a sense of HoHo.
Um, what does that have to do with the links being early?
THEY ARE NOT EARLY! IT. IS. AFTER. NOON.
Not yet in Manifest Destiny America!
Btw, great job everyone with morning links. 600+ comments, minimal squirrels, and zero trolls.
I mean they’re basically doing this- ((( JARED KUSHNER )))!!!!!1111!!1!!1
Are you even having the same conversation?
Sorry, Sir. I jumped in with bayonets blazing and for this I am heartily sorry.
I just got very confused by your remarks because they didn’t seem to flow from context.
No context. I’ve been up for twenty hours and found a tax rebate in my mailbox. Whoo-hoo?
Mailbox? As in a paper check? How retro.
I paid my state and federal taxes today — by mail with checks enclosed. Why? Because it more difficult for the state and feds to process. I still make Comcast send me a paper bill.
Never apologize.
Sorry ma’am.
Festus – I am so confused but also interested. What?
Links at 2 PM Eastern? Gotta go get drunk early on Zombie Jesus’s death day, Swiss?
8 pm in the homeland.
Yeah, I ‘d be leaving church and racing to the nearest Weinstube if I was in Luzern.
I will wait until after 7pm service to get smashed. Like the
goodmediocre Christian I am!See, that’s why us Jews are the best. We get drunk during our services!
I thought that Catholics?
Good catholics and clergy are drunk before services.
I assumed they woke up still drunk from the night before.
Oh yeah? I wonder if Scots Presbyterian have usequebaugh during services?
Ah, police union leadership. I hate to stereotype – but Good Lord, look at that photo
Public sector unions are evil.
that is all.
My union is less evil and more inept.
All pub-sec unions are evil, their only limiter is the fact that all their members are professional civil servants and are therefore some high level of inept.
-_-
Hey now! I’ll have you know I’m an unprofessional civil servant.
Wait a minute… how many government employees frequent this site?
Tons of them. Granted they’re here to monitor us and report on our unamerican activities
I am not.
*scribbles note in case file*
I am also some high level of inept, although as a ‘professional’ I’m technically not a union member.
…who aren’t FBI agents?
I’m definitely not. *ducks into the Flowers By Irene truck*
At least it’s not “Flowers By Isis”
Welcome to the internet, where the men are men, the women are men, and all the boys are FBI agents.
FBI? *scoffs and polishes DIA credentials*
I mean…
What’s an FBI?
Fewer now since John didn’t follow us over apparently.
“Wait a minute… how many government employees frequent this site?”
At the risk of rotten vegetables being thrown in my direction…
//raises hand
Im private sec, but since I design rocket parts 99.99% of my work is government (100% right now since the rocket I’m working on is for the Air Force).
I’m at the VA. I’m horribly under-utilized and have grown tired of waiting for my boss to retire. Its a typical Friday afternoon, where nobody here does much anything after 1130 and the hallways are nearly empty. I spend my time here reading SugarFree tales and screwing with the adbot on Facebook. I get ads now for companies that buy sperm (seriously).
I’ve been trying to go legit for a few weeks now. Its a little troubling and not to mention unethical taxpayers paid me $31/hr to run a .csv report and forward it to IT yesterday.
Im getting paid 25/hr to draw lines on a screen right now, and I’m not even doing much of that at the moment.
Builds wall around self — raises hand.
It’s another great Friday afternoon spent locked in a mostly-empty gubmint office…
Reservist (again) and currently DoD contractor (I do what I know and what I like – hard to find equivalencies sometimes). Looking to swing to the private sector sooner or later though – thinking about using my GI Bill for some practical training.
I don’t work directly for the government, but I am a privately-contracted Owner’s Rep for a government agency, and I’ve been managing public construction in one way or another for about 12 years.
I think it’s often such proximity to government that drives people to be skeptical of government.
And in my defense, I’m a hard-ass negotiator, so I save the taxpayers what they spend on me many times over (at the expense of private contractors, of course).
I identified a documentation error last year that would theoretically justify my salary–for the next 3 years. I wrote up the report, sent it up the chain multiple times and watched them do…nothing.
Last week I verified a gross miscalculation in for the funding of a contract, they initially budgeted $100K were only off by about $2M. At least they acted on that one.
Black widow murders three husbands. Caught in 2009. Since then she has married twice? WTF? Is this some new method of suicide?
Remember how many women wanted to get with OJ right after the trial? Go figure.
Well she’s in jail, so I guess it doesn’t count as sticking it in crazy. Unless they allow conjugal visits.
Scott Peterson still gets marriage proposals in prison. You remember him right? The guy that dumped his pregnant wife’s body in the ocean on Christmas day? Yeah, that guy.
He just needs a woman who understands him.
Jeanette Lee must have a ton of time between tournaments.
That neck tatt scream “guilty” to me.
Why be a hero, when you can be a zero?
The best ones are the clients with face tattoos (including devil horns on the forehead) and prior convictions who want to testify.
Nothing says “I give up” like a face tattoo.
Not to mention, “I make poor, impulsive decisions just like I’m accused of doing in this case.”
You mean to tell me that this guy would not be your ideal criminal defense client?
Actually, he would be ideal. I’d have no illusions about winning.
Also, you and a few other posters are in Phoenix, right? We should figure out a HH or something.
I am indeed. Being Arizona, I think getting together and shooting guns would be the most appropriate thing to do.
If we’re going to go shoot in the desert, we’d better go soon. Getting a little warm for it.
I guess I’m not sure how to exchange contact info here without it being in a comment.
I go shooting in August. It’s never too hot.
I drive north to avoid the heat. The only issue is dealing with the locals admiring your purdy mouth.
That’s why you have guns, duh.
I have a friend that lives here now that is originally from Detroit. I sometimes forget we come from the same country because things I do reflexively make him turn white (no small feat considering he is as black as the ace of spades). For example, I had to pull a small fortune out of an ATM the other day while he was with me, and as I walked back to the car I loudly proclaimed “Check it out! The machine gives 50s!” While fanning the money out in front of me. He was like “WTF nigga we gonna get jacked!” at which point I glanced down at the gun firmly holstered on my hip and said “Uh, no we’re not.”
“That’s why you have guns, duh.”
Anywhere north of Anthem they have guns too. All of them, including the lesbian hippies in Flagstaff. Especially the lesbian hippies in Flagstaff. Count on it.
I have to agree on your sentiment though. There is definitely a difference in the cultural norms here vs. other parts of the country.
While on a long hike pretty far away from anything resembling civilization, a buddy and I came across two older lesbian hippies drinking Stella from cans and target shooting. Arizona is a great state.
Long as you’re within a couple hours of Phoenix metro count me in.
Well he is white. So my guess is that charges would be dropped before it got to a trial.
I’ve been told by the progs that that is how the system works. White guys always get off.
It was nice when felons could clean up before trial. Ah, the “good ole days’…
I miss the days when baristas could do the same before showing up for work at Starbucks.
And the jury finished deliberations, they found Hernandez not guilty.
100 cops for 1 guy? Nothing to cut.
Via Balko, South Dakota cops get their jollies by forcing people to be catheterized for drug tests. Including a three year old. A FUCKING THREE YEAR OLD.
*union rep looks through playbook*
Uh… the officer smelled marijuana.
It’s for your benefit citizen
Hopefully someone will sue the hospital or whoever. That should put a stop to that.
Hey, RC, have you ever thought about teaching CLE classes for hospital lawyers on the liability issues of doing this type of thing?
I don’t know about RC, but I refuse to assist the police in any way whatsoever other than to alert them when I reasonably believe someone is a threat to themselves or others, is about to commit a crime, when there is a cause to suspect abuse, or in other such cases. I once was threatened with being taken to jail because I refused to draw a legal blood alcohol test on a patient who was alert and refusing, though he was clearly drunk (slurring words, strong smell of alcohol, etc). Apparently the law required a numerical BAC to charge a motorist with aggravated vehicular homicide, rather than a lesser charge. The guy went on to jail and somehow it got into the local media that our hospital was responsible for letting this man get away with killing several people with his car. Eventually the city’s attorney opined that we were protected by a law stating that medical personnel could not be sued for assisting law enforcement. I don’t give a damn.
I’m not a police officer, nor have I ever had any desire to be. I’m a doctor dammit (Bones McCoy for the win). I don’t do medically unnecessary testing, no matter who is requesting it. I’m not drawing blood, doing rectal exams, or anything else because the police need to know something. If they want to do it, I’ll tell them to find a needle and syringe or use their own damn finger.
What the hell? I mean I know that the king’s men are basically untouchable, but how is this justified? like morally?
“whilst doing the Stations of the Cross”
Quite the euphemism there
If you go to one of finer dungeons, the cross doesn’t have to be a euphemism.
Those tend to be St Andrew crosses, X-shaped as opposed to the traditional Christian T-shaped ones.
Two things:
Is Pro Libertate – our Pro Libertate – really gone to the great liber-topia in the sky?
Also what in the heck happened to Groovus Maximus, our intertoob-doctor-in-chief?
I’ve been told it is not the same Pro Libertate.
I’m curious as to what happened to Groovus as well.
Thanks for the info on PL.
Also what in the heck happened to Groovus Maximus, our intertoob-doctor-in-chief?
Or Hamster/Jo?
Hamster may come back someday. Groovus sort of disappeared in mid-conversation, so I worry, a bit.
Groovus sort of disappeared in mid-conversation
Not the first time, though.
I picture him with scalpel in one hand and AK47 in the other, with Dr. MrsGroovus clinging to him in a classic movie poster pose. “Dr Groovus and the Ruskies”
Burt Reynolds has suggestions on finding him.
Don’t you ever tell me where you found him.
I was just surprised that all the animals there were…
I’ll write to Groovus tonight and let you know if I get a response.
I’m missing something. Pro L and I were diagnosed with cancer at about the same time. I’ve wondered how he was doing quite often. Did he not make it? This disease sucks.
–“Everyone here at Glibertarians is mourning the death of our Lord and Savior”–
Wait…
Tom Brady is dead?
ewwwwwwww
No, and Tim Tebow’s fine too.
Did Lemmy die?
Nah. He’s working on a collaboration with Lou Reed.
*loftily narrows gaze*
*Tries to mimic Swiss, sprains all four eyelids*
Good links.
Not sure if deserves a swiss stare…
Have to wait…I am still at work and cannot see it.
It’s a pinterest about sausages.
Go on… Kalberwurst, I hope.
Thanks, CIA!
Edward SnowdenVerified account @Snowden 3m3 minutes ago
Edward Snowden Retweeted Hacker Fantastic
This is not a drill: #NSA exploits affecting many fully-patched Windows systems have been released to the wild. NSA did not warn Microsoft.
That’s okay, I’m using the hackers as an offsite backup for my data.
The ol’ “Real men just upload their important stuff on ftp and let the rest of the world mirror it.”
Windows? That old thing?
How did they get released? Intentionally? Well, no matter, just another excuse to go off grid
There was a power outage when Newman shut down the grid to steal stuff.
Huh! I wonder if that’s why new updates were deployed to all our work computers with immediate reboot demanded. I work in defense, so our IT team tries not to dither when patches are needed.
Some advice that probably on I would find useful: if you move from state to state, keep a copy of your driver’s license from each state, like, forever.
THE VARIOUS STATE DMVs WILL. NOT. ASSIST. YOU.
“only I” would find useful
This surprising? They don’t even help residents, and you don’t provide them a revenue stream.
I found the information I required without their help, so I called them back waited on the phone for 45+ minutes just to laugh and laugh and then hang up.
DMVs act totally confounded that you would ever leave their state. Maryland wanted $800 from me for the unthinkable act of moving to another state and registering my vehicles there.
Wait, what? Were they trying to claim you’ve been avoiding paying the annual year tax for 10 years?
It was a fine for letting my MD insurance lapse.
THE VARIOUS STATE DMVs WILL. NOT. ASSIST. YOU.
*Nods in knowing agreement while setting the alarm for 6:30am so I can get in line at the DMV tomorrow morning*
Turns out that my TX registration sticker/label (piece of paper about the size of an index card) wasn’t enough to get my car transferred to VA, evidently the paper it came on was required, too. 2 months later, I finally have the paperwork I need.
No one owns Bigfoot
There’s got to be a STEVE SMITH COME OUT VOLUNTARILY joke in there somewhere.
STEVE SMITH COME OUT, IN AND THROUGH.
I encourage both states’ legislatures to spend as much of their legislative session time as possible debating official state whatevers.
NOBODY PUT STEVE SMITH IN A CORNER.
STEVE SMITH CITIZEN OF WORLD, HE NO RESTRICT HIS LIFESTYLE TO HUMAN BORDERS.
Good Friday. Good music.
Not a Motown fan but you did manage a little Jian Gomeshi at the front. Our favourite choke artist! He even did Lucy from Trailer Park Boys! What a charming fellow!
America drops a huge bomb on ISIS and the first question from the CBC – were there any civilian casualties? Not, “was it effective, how many bad guys? Nope, America dropped a bomb so it’s inherently evil. Fucking CBC.
How long would CBC stay on the air without taxpayer loonies?
I thought all the taxpayers were loonies up there.
Zero minutes. It’s all indigenous queer-questioning feminists nowadays. And they wonder why Trump won.
What about Red?
“I’m a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess.”
You have to ask?
CBC? Is that a real broadcasting station?
No, it only broadcasts in Canukistan
Is there subtitles?
That’s the one with Pat Robertson and Tammy Faye isn’t it?
Golf clap.
The more infuriating part is how they (and the political and media class in general) separate the evil savage American conquerors from the noble and pure peacekeeping Canadian forces. Oh, so of course we can cut their funding some more because they don’t need it to actually function as a military or anything.
Why does Canada need a military? Any incursion onto Canadian soil will not be tolerated by the US, and they still kowtow before the Queen of England, so I assume Great Britain would send some redcoats over if things really heated up.
Ancient but relevant:
http://www.satirewire.com/news/feb02/warship.shtml
If you want the Americans to foot the bill for dealing with Russian attempts to grab sovereign waters in the Arctic, that’s cool, but I’d think libertarians would want the Canadians to cover their own naval defense.
Also, throwing poorly equipped and underfunded troops on ‘peacekeeping’ missions (read: War on Terror stuff) is generally a bad idea, but the Canadian government loves to do it anyway.
I was stationed at Peterson AFB a few years back, NORAD/NORTHCOM is located there “temporarily.” One time some Army MSGT walks into our shop and asks us for a favor. I was later called into my foreman’s office and handed a Canadian flag. “Thanks, but I’m not sure this is mine.” I said.
“Pick a troop. Take the bucket truck to bldg. 2. Replace it.”
Apparently the Canadian flag in front of NORTHCOM was slightly tattered and while the building manager put in the request per the SOP, engineering filed it as a routine (30 days). This pissed off the Canadian commanders to the point where they wound up calling some asshole in Washington to get me, some SSgt to drive a truck and replace it immediately.
By slightly tattered, I mean it was pretty jacked. It hailed earlier in the week and Colorado Springs routinely gets high winds.
Hockey is Canada’s #1 national sport.
Canada’s #2 national sport is America-bashing.
When I was a kid you would be lucky to get a couple thousand people to a spring game.
http://nbc4i.com/2017/04/14/ohio-state-spring-game-has-sold-out/
When I was a kid you couldn’t pay my parents to come and watch one of my games. Not even the “All-Star” ones.
So, this has been bothering me for awhile. I should probably set up a blog of my own or something. But anyway, this is not about Glibertarians per se but whoever in the great and wide web decided to make this decision, and whoever decided to impose it with force upon WordPress users. It came up again in the morning links, and it has been a repeated source of confusion and consternation.
Without further ado,
Fuck em and strong. Fuck them in the ass.
Yes, I get the idea of “HTML is supposed to be semantic”. Ok, so where are the tags for “this is the title of a work”, “this is an inline quote”, “this is text from a foreign language”, and the other uses of italics that are not “emphasize this text” (what em stands for)? If you don’t even make it possible to encode the semantics, then you can’t ride your high horse about how the markup is supposed to be semantic.
Moreover, what this has become — just use em instead of i and strong instead of b — was entirely foreseeable and accomplishes absolutely nothing. If the tags are 1:1 substituteable for each other, then what is the fucking point? You just make people type more letters for no benefit. Just define/repurpose i as the tag for emphasis and b as the tag for strong emphasis and leave a footnote about how what they originally meant.
This is what happens when the standards people get full of themselves. How’s XHTML working out, you morons?
/rant off
We don’t know for sure. Betamax says it’s been in tears, but I don’t trust that standard.
Well if you just coded everything in machine language you would be free from all of these trivialities.
Then the mobile version would never work right.
And?
Mobile main-frames aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.
Well, some of those semantic elements are present – some have for quite a while.
<h> tags are headings, from which a TOC could be produced, way back in SGML days, and most people continue to just use them in an informal way. IIRC there was a huge argument over whether there should be a semantic mechanism for specifying a document’s “true name” via its content. The nub was “What if you wrote a book and its title was not on the flyleaf”. The result was that the title of a work is an attribute, just like its revision, its ISBN number, its LoC reference, etc and hence, the right place for that is in the document’s <metadata> tags.
Inline quotes are meant to use <q> for “quote”, but many people don’t bother.
When it comes to languages, the language of an item of text is inherited via attributes. Again, to be fully semantic, a paragraph in French should be in a block tag (like <p>) as <p lang=”fr”>.
The issue is that lots of things like WordPress plugins are really hacked-about versions of code that have been in existence for years, and they’re typically backwards compatible. The very fact that [b] and [i] are still interpreted in browsers contributes greatly to ensuring that people won’t adopt new standards until they’re forced to.
So, the tags are only fungible in a *display* sense. If you want the em tag to be in red, CSS ensures you can define it that way, it’s semantic relevance will be the same.
(n.b. I’m hoping all the embedded html elements for angle brackets work, because if they don’t, the content above will be unintelligible.)
… and don’t get me started on markdown.
I know one site that uses Markdown, and I don’t understand the explanation at all.
Religious folks behind the Cheddar Curtain can breathe a bit easier now.
Wasn’t somebody else captured by the authorities around this time a while back?
Hitler?
Oh sure, LH, go straight to the punchline!
That was in November.
Jeffery Dahlmer?
Ed Gein was from WI, wasn’t he?
Be witty in the comments, but not so much that I remember one of y’alls wisecracks and start laughing whilst doing the Stations of the Cross tonight, mkay?
Patrick: What’s a giggle loop?
Jeff: Don’t ask! To know about the Giggle Loop is to become part OF the Giggle Loop!
Steve: I think we can take it.
Jeff: You’re not ready for the Giggle Loop.
…
Jeff: Basically, it’s like a feedback loop. You’re somewhere quiet. There’s people. It’s a…solemn occasion. A wedding. No–it’s a minute’s silence for someone who’s died.
Steve: Right.
Patrick: Okay.
Jeff: Right, minute’s silence ticking away. (Makes ticking noises with his tongue) The Giggle Loop begins. Suddenly, out of nowhere, this thought comes into your head. The worst thing I could possibly do during a minute’s silence is laugh. (Overturns a beer glass) And as soon as you think that, you almost do laugh, automatic reaction. But you don’t, you control yourself. You’re fine. Whoo… But then you think how terrible it would have been if you’d laughed out loud in the middle of a minute’s silence. And so you nearly do it again, but this time it’s a bigger laugh. (Stacks another beer glass on top of the first one) And then you think how awful this bigger laugh would have been. And so you nearly laugh again, only this time it’s a very big laugh. (Stacks another glass) It’s an enormous laugh! Let this bastard out, and you get whiplash! (Stacks another glass) Suddenly, you’re in the middle of this completely silent room (stacks another glass) and your shoulders are going like you’re drilling the road! And what do you think of this situation? Oh, dear Christ, you think it’s funny!
My favorite moment Jeff moment.
Jeff explains his relationship – Coupling – BBC
My dad (a Baptist pastor) talks about getting tickled while preaching at a funeral.
I think, at that point, the only sensible thing one can do is pull out a bamboo cane and a boater and do the cakewalk.
Was it the corpse?
Thanks for making it impossible for me to not laugh at any funeral, including my own.
My husband and I were at church getting ready for a funeral for which I was running the audio board. So we went to pay our respects at the open casket ahead of time since I wouldn’t be able to file by with everyone else. We looked at the departed lady and we both immediately noticed that she was wearing the same blouse (fabric pattern and cut–exact duplicate) that I was wearing. I supressed a smile, but my dear husband whispered, “If I turned up at a funeral in the same outfit as someone else, I would just die.” At that point I sputtered and walked off to the audiobooth.
My husband enjoys making me laugh at inappropriate times. He takes it as a challenge. Asshole.
When I was about ten years old my brother and I got into a giggle loop at a monk’s ordination ceremony. The service lasted like 4 hours and I was bored out of my mind. My brother and I got our asses whipped by our grandmother for that.
The worst thing I could possibly do during a minute’s silence is laugh.
Not true. Let me tell you about what got me suspended from Hebrew school. We had a teacher named Mr. Manischewitz, which was apt because he seemed to be a bit… off a lot. His English proficiency was limited to one sentence: “YOU SHAKHAP YOU MOUSE!” He was relatively mild mannered until riled, and then he was explosive. One day, someone set him off (can’t remember what did it) and he started screaming, threw the offender out of his chair, and threw the chair across the room.
Dead silence in the classroom.
And of course, in the midst of the thick silence, I ripped a 100 decibel fart.
We had a French student teacher that our grade six teacher had a literal bone-on for. One day after she visited we snuck into the classroom and drew a cartoon of Mr. Bergeron and “Sabine” gettin it on! This was the 70’s and our teacher’s pants left nothing to the imagination. He used to stand at the back of the class, staring at huge tit Sabine, stroking his groaty moustasche. We got caught for that one but surprisingly never punished. The punishment would be deferred. He punched me in the back of the head when he caught us “tee-pee creeping” in the girls tent a year later. Learned French-Kissing, made sport of a teacher, punched in the head and sent home? Still worth it!
He was a semi-pro hockey player so a “punch” was a punch.
our grade six teacher
So you’re one of those Canadian freaks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpPC6qWbnlE
Be witty in the comments, but not so much that I remember one of y’alls wisecracks and start laughing whilst doing the Stations of the Cross tonight, mkay?
A burglar breaks into a house, and starts rifling through the drawers. A voice says, “Jesus is watching you.” He turns around quickly, and shines his light into the corner, where he sees a parrot in a cage. “Dumb bird,” he thinks as he continues throwing things into his knapsack. A couple of minutes later, he parrot again says, “Jesus is watching you”. The burglar tells the parrot to “shut up”, and continues his burgling. The third time that the parrot says, “Jesus is watching you”, the burglar hurls a book at it, and says, “I said, ‘Shut up!’” He hears a growl, which is a very un-parrotlike noise, and turns his flashlight in that direction again. Just below the parrot’s cage is a massive Rottweiler. with a book on its head.
The parrot says, “Sic ’em, Jesus”.
Jesus wants a hug.
*swoon*
This should keep you entertained and thoroughly laughing during your religious moments:
https://www.google.com/search?q=douche+jesus&espv=2&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi0vvXm0KTTAhVJ3WMKHUKEBE0Q_AUIBigB&biw=1920&bih=950&dpr=1&safe=active&ssui=on#imgrc=Ukmfi6560KKyGM:
I like this one:
https://i.imgur.com/fXCz1aR.png
I am a fan of this one.
https://www.amazon.com/BUDDY-CHRIST-Statue-Figurine-Smiths/dp/B002065JM6
Plus the correct soundtrack.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SO5Y1OuQIxo
That looks more like,
“Jesus does his Mola Ram trick and rips your heart out of your chest and then watches as it explodes into flame”
Slate-The Charging Bull Sculptor Is Right. Fearless Girl Should Go.
“Nonconsensually”? WTF?
You should know!
Well, did she consent? No!
Nevertheless, she persisted.
What do you have against differently-sentient bronzekins?
I am glad the bull-artist is finally getting heard but I have a feeling that any attempt to remove the stupid girl will be characterized as worse than Hitler.
That title is already firmly held by secret nazi president. They’re going to have to dig deeper this time.
And this from our embarrassment of a mayor:
God what a fucking cunt he is.
Boy, that’s an…interesting defense of women.
Alternately: “Men who don’t like women always being in the way are the reason we need the Fearless Girl.”
Men who get annoyed with women who get impatient and use the men’s restroom? Yeah, that’s why we need the Fearless Girl.
I still don’t get what the damn point of the statue is.
then you aren’t woke, obviously.
The statue is dumb and thus quite fitting for Mr Di Modica’s “artistic rights”.
“Brave Girl” is ripping off the original artist. A clever stunt but the dude is in the right.
How come whenever I start looking at Christian stuff on the internet I don’t get, say, chatrooms about Thomas Aquinas, but Biblical UFO nuts and the near-death experiences of homosexuals.
According to Dr. Ian Stevenson, the foremost reincarnation researcher, many of children with past-life memories show abilities or talents that they had in their previous lives. Dr. Stevenson’s research led him to conclude that homosexuality is a natural human trait resulting from the reincarnation of a person of one gender as a person of the opposite gender.
Come on that makes total sense. And the guy is THE FOREMOST reincarnation researcher. That definitely implies credibility.
He has mail order degrees in both reincarnomy and reincarology.
“Fun” fact: One of the reasons there’s so much twincest in anime is an old legend that states that when star-crossed lovers die (think Romeo and Juliet) they’re reborn as twins.
So what are Cersei and Jaime reborn as?
Wonder Twins?
Shape of the beast with two backs.
White Walkers?
Milton Twins?
It’s because they are special. Nobody that regresses is ever a serf or a slave or some random pithecus getting eaten by a leopard. No, they’re minor nobility (not the people that dumped their chamber pot) or a fighter pilot (not one of the dozens of people that kept the plane in the air).
Its weird that there are about as many people alive today as have ever lived before. so are most of those souls new? Does God just create new ones when he runs out? How does that racket work?
It’s reincarnation. All the species that have gone “extinct” are now humans.
When did Biblical reincarnation scholars get on the evolution train? Glad my ex-wife wasn’t one of those praying mantis souls in her deep past.
Obviously the karma cycle is elevating the souls of bugs and animals and stuff. Also explains the explosion in the chicken population.
Most “people” are just stock character NPC’s. The great DM in the sky doesn’t even roll up character sheets for them.
One of the few stars of the LitRPG genre: NPCs
I’ve read it. I did not know that the 2nd one is on kindle unlimited now, so thanks for the heads up
They escaped from the volcano Xenu dropped them in.
He buys them wholesale, of course. Retail is for suckers.
There are 100 billion people alive today?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVg9DZhUAcY
Interestingly, Alistair Crowley, in typical early-20th-century elitist fashion, argued that most human souls in the world today are relatively new, and that there are only a few million truly “old souls” that have been here for millennia. The younger souls tend be less mature and more animalistic in nature.
The natural thing, of course, is for the “old souls” to rule the “young souls,” and the point of his secret society (supposedly) was to bring this about.
the foremost reincarnation researcher
Talk about tallest midget.
The best product from ACME corp.
Gonna be honest, I hate read a lot of that stuff for the head-slapping ca-ray-zee that it describes. I get a good laugh and the comment sections are always a blast. Watching fundies battle kooks is endlessly entertaining.
Had actual Mormons at the door the other day. Cute chicks that told me that they were “sister” this and “sister” that. I told them I was “brother Festus”. “So you’re not a spiritual man, she asked?” “Nope, just a janitor.” They patted my dog and left me their calling card.
I so thought this was going in the direction of another forum.
We don’t make up our letters, so they’re boring.
Dear Glibs,
I got drunk at during Seder back in the 1920s and grabbed my aunt’s knockers compulsively. Am I a pervert?
You’re on Glibertarians.com, so yes, even if you didn’t grab your aunt’s tits.
Psht. Way to miss the nuance of my callback.
Nah. They were nice little teenagers. I am a monster but I’m not monstrous.
Prayer Man
The Descendants are playing at the Fillmore in Detroit next week!
The Descendants of whom?
For you:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZxqtqzznOo
That song is particularly problematic and imposes phallogocentric normative valuations on female identifying bodies.
Bummer. Not coming to Minne this time.
So everyone here is either former armed forces, frustrated hipsters, weirdo coders or psychopaths. Good to know. I’ll wedge right in!
You forgot misanthropic alcoholics.
No. No I didn’t.
Wubalubadubdub!
I identify more as an alcoholic misanthrope. The alcoholism is incidental, but the misanthropy is critical.
I’ll not show them! I’ll never show them all! (Curls into a foetal position, draws thumb into mouth).
I wasn’t in the armed forces.
Lose the glasses and that was me thirty years ago.
Meh, I’m a redneck electrician. I’m not so sure I fit in.
I don’t even know why state workers are required to pay taxes. Is it just to give the appearance that they’re “paying their fair share” even though their putting money right back into where it came from?
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/ct-illinois-workers-late-tax-returns-met-20170414-story.html
Hah! I owe the gubmint some cash but because my declared income was paltry they actually cut me check for 800 smackeroos. New lawnmower, here I come.
You and 14 others like you are welcome.
JOIN UUUUSSSSS!
I never refer to government workers as “paying” taxes. I always tell ’em they’re “recycling” taxes.
Drives a cousin of mine (who works for the CBC) nuts. 😉
He works for Pat Robertson?
It’s so the different levels of government don’t lose money to each other. They’d screw things up if they had to do accounting for that.
You did see that a state senator or whatever in CA proposed a bill stipulating that teachers not pay state income taxes, right?
If they de-rated the teacher’s pay to an “after-tax” amount, I couldn’t care less. Otherwise, it’s an automagic 30-40% boost in pay.
That’s exactly the point. If they don’t de-rate it, big raise for teachers and teacher unions. If they de-rate it, now teachers in California get to claim they make 30-40% less than they used to, and why won’t the taxpayers think of the children?
Teachers are probably in the 9.3% bracket for California state income tax, and nothing California does can exempt them from Federal income tax, so it can’t possibly be a 30-40% boost in pay.
Someone needs to re-explain “the rules of absurdly-inappropriate-comparisons” to me
As far as i can tell, its so far limited to = Hitler = OK, King = No way
This is akin to the girl in the next cubicle standing up for herself and saying “No more hard-boiled eggs!”
I have no idea what that means, but i applaud its strange non-sequitur-ness
it just seems funny to me to see some news network going, “(GASP) That’s an inappropriate comparison!!” after The Year of Reductio-Ad-Hitlerum
Linear thinker, eh?
It doesn’t have to be a straight line, but it helps to be able to read the map
Thanks to Gojira’s review of yesterday reminding me of this movie, I’m gonna have to go to this in a couple of weeks. Hope you’re happy.
https://www.o-cinema.org/event/the-monster-squad-30th-anniversary/
I want Gojira to do a series of when the Poster oversold the movie. For me it was “Frogs”. The poster had a giant frog with a human hand hanging out of its maw. I wanted to see that flick so bad when I was six. I saw it years later. No giant frogs, just best-past-date actresses and tiny snakes. Booooo!
I humbly present to you The Cars that Eat People:
http://www.gunaxin.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Cars-That-Eat-People.jpg
Once the Man from Mars started eating cars, all bets were off
But then he started eating guitars. And they were on again.
I saw that movie at the drive-in when I was in junior high. It was pretty boring, but the frogs did (sort of) get a scalp at the end. They harassed some old man into croaking from a heart attack.
(the second movie was much better, it was called ‘Zombie’)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080057/?ref_=nv_sr_6
Well, it’s Friday and I’m still working.Here’s Puddles the Clown singing All the Small Things.
That clown has a fine voice.
I first saw him singing “Royals” by Lorde.
Mad World sung by Puddles
Haley Reinhart joins Puddles in singing “Mad World”, and she has a fine voice, too.
I loved that video. Sent it to everyone I knew when it came out.
They all stopped talking to me.
The Internet is weird
These people are insane.
New Jersey is the worst place in the universe, part a lot
Maybe if he sends some Burger King coupons to that bloated fucktard governor’s office he might have a chance of getting pardoned.
As we say in the gun forums, New Jersey is where gun rights go to die. He’d have a better chance petitioning Governor Fat Fuck to lose 100 pounds by labor day.
i have read stories of at least a half dozen people who have done real-time because of NJ gun laws.
all of the cases were “incidental” – more so even than that example. Mostly of people who were merely traveling with the gun in the car and who happened to get pulled over.
the average penalty seemed to be 3-5 years. One got pardoned, but that was because it was before the election. I doubt any of the others got enough attention.
Ex-NFL star Hernandez acquitted in Boston double murder
http://www.startribune.com/jury-begin-6th-day-of-deliberations-in-aaron-hernandez-trial/419469913/
Whew! now they can’t add a life sentence to his life sentence
He’s no dummy! His attorney had a fallback option: If convicted, get the judge to allow the extra life sentences to be served concurrently.
MST3K – Trump reference
Hey, WTF: You mentioned MST3K and Trump in the AM links. So I chose “random episode” and a few minutes in, a Trump reference. Check it out.
In “Pod people” the alien is named Trumpy. They couldn’t not swing at that slow a pitch.
I believe the “Pod People” episode was from the first MST3K stint i.e. the 1990’s/when Trump was in all likelihood a Democrat with no idea the Republican party would be spineless enough to exploit in a couple decades.
That made it even more hilarious.
I lasted about 5 minutes through a random new one. As a big fan of the original, I just couldn’t accept a bastardized version. Maybe new fans or people who didn’t watch growing up will like it, I don’t know. There are original episodes that Netflix just put up within the past few weeks and plenty on Youtube in their entirety also.
Apparently they don’t quite hit their stride in the first new episode. It’ll be tough to get used to the new voices but I’m willing to give it a shot.
I was going to post something in the morning links to run up the comment count but then I didn’t want something like this to happen:
http://www.nytimes.com/1998/02/26/sports/college-basketball-coach-s-gift-injured-athlete-sets-off-fast-breaking-debate.html
TL;DR, but I assume the moral of the story is that people will cry about fucking anything they can nowadays, and the New York Slimes will cover it.
the story is from 1998
but other than that your comment is germane regardless
There needs to be a rule about posting articles written before I graduated high school.
Man that would probably piss me off if I considered women’s basketball to be a sport
how awesome would have been if an opposing player objected to the stunt and just stuffed the shit out of her on the attempt.
Stuffing a player on crutches throwing a free throw… that would definitely put you in the running for douche of the year.
it wasn’t a free throw and she was in a brace, not on crutches. Stuffing the shot would have been hilarious. Had it actually been a free throw and had she actually been on crutches then stuffing the shot would have been GLORIOUS.
Russell Westbrook would have done exactly that, had he been on the other team at that time.
Draymond Green would have just kicked her in the balls.
No kidding. Go all Metta World Peace on her ass.
Its not like she was shooting from the fifth row of the stands.
Whats that thing that SJW’s always pull out of their pussies? Some kind of petition that if it gets over a certain number the powers that be must pay attention? Howzabout “Repeal Title IX”.
*asterisk! asterisk!*
I like it when you talk a little dirty.
I actually vaguely remember that story.
i recall the general sentiment, and specifically my girlfriend’s reaction, was something along the lines of
“This is such dumb bullshit and it actually makes ‘feminism’ (before it was a bad word) harder because women are seen as constantly asking for special-favors”
This was the logical conclusion of the “my kid is an honor student at …” mentality. My oldest kids went through this crap. The first iteration of the special snowflake problem that is growing even larger today.
Interior Secretary = We Must End Sexual Harassment at our National Parks
My first thought was, “they are probably going to have to edit the signs to say “DONT
FEEDOTHER THE BEARS YOU SHITLORDS”Unfortunately because of the link-limit i cannot link directly to this… but Huffpo did an expose on ‘sexual harassment @ National Parks’ that was titled (not joking) =
“Out Here, No One Can Hear You Scream”
– The dangerous culture of male entitlement and sexual hostility hiding within America’s national parks and forests.
STEVE SMITH ENJOY FREE REIGN AT NATIONS NATIONAL PARKS.
STEVE SMITH NO HIDE, YOU JUST NO LOOK HARD ENOUGH.
You can use multiple links – I do it all the time – just takes a few minutes to get approved.
“I had no idea Japan even had the death penalty – but it looks like it might get used in this case.”
As the article notes, there are delays.
It makes the U. S. look like an execution assembly line.
This guy allegedly committed his crimes in 1961 and he died on death row in 2015 – of old age, apparently.
There is a bit of a complication in that he was acquitted in 1964 before being convicted in 1969.
Japan has some incentives re: criminal justice that are as messed up as our own. Their cops ‘solve’ something like 95% of murders, and there’s a lot of pressure to keep the figure high. As a result, mysterious deaths are often classified as something other than murder if the cops don’t think they have a rock-solid case.
See also: Kurosawa’s High and Low
What am I, chopped liver?
Besides, more importantly, you forgot to mention that it’s Songkran.
I love how the Thais are using Super Soakers now.
What am I, chopped liver?
Better question: would we be surprised if you identified sexually as chopped liver, at least on odd numbered days?
Only with schmaltz, not nyafat, because that would be gay.
It’s the nuance of your perversity that keeps people coming back, HM.
Well, nuance and this:
Fuck you, you know how triggering I find poorly looped gifs.
Less thiccness, but much better looped.
Be gone, thot!
Good Friday Lamentations
“The Virgin Bride of God”?
What.
The.
Quck.
Gulp. I liked that a lot. I’ve always been a maudlin sort when I reach the end of my cups but that was pretty cool.
“He was despised,” from Handel’s Messiah
Why do you make me laugh in my office? Rockets aren’t funny. Now they know I’m not working.
Rockets aren’t funny.
This is how you get HM linking videos of dogs being jerked off.
We’re not commies… our rockets aren’t red.
They hate us for our freedoms! And Jews, the eternal Jews.
That looks like an excerpt from a Jack Chick tract.
Because it is.
What? For Easter, Eddie? Hmmm…
Crap. Naturally, I forgot to link to a vid where they actually have the informal name – Bach’s “Easter Cantata”.
Since I had to reply, here, have some more Easter classical.
Crap, again. I managed to miss that it was a segment from The Messiah in your original post.
I’m going to leave now.
How did an 8-year-old learn to drive?, Officer Koehler wanted to know. YouTube videos, the boy responded.
When ya gotta have a chessburger
It’s not at all uncommon to have 8 year olds drive all sorts of massive vehicles while working on farms. Cars just aren’t that hard for people of normal intelligence. I played so many driving sims as a child that when I finally got behind the wheel for the first time I realised “hey this is just like the arcade games!”
Big Man Tyrone will do anything for money.
Tyrone is a video actor not a moralist, nor politician nor idealist. My role is to present not to analyse. I even endorsed Trump, which is saying quite a lot. It’s not desperation for money. Just like a taxi that picks up any and everyone.
An amoral capitalist after my own heart.
I thought this was excellent. From Coyote Blog on April 11:
As a libertarian, I find myself constantly saying to folks something like: “private actors (corporations, businesses, individuals, etc. are inherently more trustworthy than government because they cannot legally interact with you through force or fraud — the government is free to do both. If you don’t like what a private actor is doing, you can simply refuse to interact with them further, an ability one does not have with the government.” This seems like such an obvious point but few people, particularly on the Left, will ever agree with me.
http://www.coyoteblog.com
Word
Tom Brady’s diet tested by Pop Warner champs. Reviews were not so good.
Alfredo is not creamy!
/pedant
Well, today was quite a day…. I got word that I passed the bar exam, so I’m officially licensed as less than scum. My wife had her 36-week sono, and the OB was concerned with some of the things she saw so she sent us to the specialist, telling us to expect to have trshbaby in our hands either tonight or at least by the end of next week. 5 hours and 2 more sonograms later, the specialist said the OB was overreacting, and to just take it easy and come back in a week. Given that my wife is already dilating, I highly doubt we’re making it to 39 or 40 weeks. We’ll probably have a late-April trshbaby. I’m glad it’s not today… having to deal with 1 or 2 weeks in the NICU is something we’d like to avoid.
That does sounds rough. I’m so sorry to hear you passed the bar.
If it’s a trash baby, does that mean putting it into a dumpster is returning it to it’s natural environment?
Asking for a friend.
I have nothing snarky to say… this link needs no introduction.
My daughter was born about 72 hours after my wife’s OB said it would be at least another 2 weeks. Be prepared.
And condolences on the bar.
But silver lining – you’re still not as low down in people’s estimation as contractors.
Hello.