Thursday Morning Links

Imagine my surprise when I went to click on ESPN this morning to check a few scores and it actually worked!  I guess they have a few people over there still on the job.

::checks headlines there::

Hey, only two of the top six stories are either politically or socially motivated.  I’m sure that’ll move the needle, guys.

Anyway, we’ve got more important things to talk about than the NBA playoffs (The Celtics finally look like they’ve got their act together) or those of the NHL (sorry, Gojira. But its only game 1). We’ve got to do…the links!

The Atlantic thinks the hand should be bigger

Remember the good old days? When a thief wore a mask to hide his identity?  Those days are gone.  Now they wear suits and write editorials for The Atlantic after serving as economic adviser to two presidents.

Unsurprisingly, The AG has vowed to fight the recent ruling by a California judge that President Trump’s sanctuary city defunding policy is unconstitutional. By the way, it was the same judge that ruled against the First Amendment when he forbade the Center for Medical Progress from releasing videotapes of recordings taken inside of abortion clinics and of those taken in public of officials from Planned Parenthood. Plus his dad was a Democrat Party bundler and he’s been a Democrat Party activist his entire life.

The California national flag if this passes.

California takes one step closer to bankruptcy. I guess they were using San Bernardino as a template after all.  Or Venezuela, maybe.

Police close in, but SPECTRE agent kills self before they can arrest him. Seriously, WTF?

I hope you’ve all ordered tickets in advance for the White Privilege Conference starting today in Kansas City.  Ugh, If I have to go to KC to exercise my white privilege, I may just give it up.  I’ve still got my cis-hetero male privilege to fall back on, after all.

I wonder if Rand Paul has ever had a patient tell him this.

Comments

397 responses to “Thursday Morning Links”

  1. UnCivilServant

    I hope you’ve all ordered tickets in advance for the White Privilege Conference starting today in Kansas City.

    They never seem to have any good tips for making use of the privilege. So I don’t go.

    1. ChipsnSalsa

      That title could lead to a very wide range of ideologies showing up.

    2. WTF

      My white privilege seems to have gotten lost in the mail.

    3. PieInTheSKy

      I am so underprivileged I can’t even travel to Kansas City.

    4. Brasidas

      You don’t go to KC for tips, you go for ends.
      Burnt ends.

      1. Certified Public Asshat

        What culture/color of people gets to claim barbecue as their own?

        1. Enough About Palin

          Neanderthals.

    5. ElspethFlashman

      My sister is at a yarn vendor show there, which is probably the same thing.

    6. $150/day to be told that I didn’t build that? $400 something for a multiday pass to be told that I’m only responsible for people who don’t look like me not getting a pony? Fuck off, SJWs.

    7. JaimeRoberto

      If I’m so privileged, why do I need tickets?

  2. Glitterstorm

    I’ve had The Look stuck in my head for days now

    1. I assume you’re talking about that garbage from Roxette.

      Does this help?

      1. PieInTheSKy

        I saw roxette live once. There was a live music venue and I was visiting a friend whos apartment had a balcony overlooking it. Best view, saw the stage perfectly, for free. Sound was not great. It was fun drinking and looking at the concert goers.

  3. Yusef drives a Kia

    Good Morning, Early day for me, y’all have fun now,
    B

  4. UnCivilServant

    it was the same judge that ruled against the First Amendment when he forbade the Center for Medical Progress from releasing videotapes of recordings taken inside of abortion clinics and of those taken in public of officials from Planned Parenthood. Plus his dad was a Democrat Party bundler and he’s been a Democrat Party activist his entire life.

    Is there a process for removing judges who are nothing more that hyperpartisan hacks?

    1. Yes. I think Tom Clancy covered it in Debt Of Honor. His model helped clear out the deadwood in the other branches as well, IIRC.

      1. ChipsnSalsa

        Though I haven’t read the book I believe I see what you did there.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Kiefer Sutherland is in the TV show of that, I think.

      2. Glitterstorm

        Damn good one sloopy

    2. JR Robble Dobbs

      Yes, you wait for them to die of natural causes. I certainly believe appointed judges are far better then the ones that get elected (Constantly).

    3. robc

      Fifteen federal judges have been impeached. Of those fifteen: eight were convicted by the Senate, four were acquitted by the Senate, and three resigned before an outcome at trial.

      From ballotpedia.

      1. I still think the way Clancy described it would work well.

        1. AlexinCT

          Seconded…

  5. ChipsnSalsa

    Officials said the SWAT team entered the building to serve a “high risk” warrant

    They had a report that there may be a dog on the property.

    1. Just be glad the guy is gone. I shudder to think what Ernst Stavro Blofeld would have had done to him were he caught.

  6. WTF

    Yes, it certainly is a.

    1. WTF

      Godammit!.

      1. Mike Schmidt

        Yeah, isn’t that fun when they abuse their editing powers and make you look like an idiot?

        1. WTF

          To be fair, they don’t always need their editing powers for that.

          1. Mike Schmidt

            Ha! Good point

    2. It was gonna be a bonus link I found through the Cincy Enquirer story. Then it felt tasteless as I wrote it.

      Then I remembered the audience.

      I doubt he ended up like Wil E Coyote.

      1. WTF

        I guess he didn’t realize you don’t try to catch them.

      2. Shpip

        Situational awareness has to be hammered into you sometimes.

  7. Rufus the Monocled

    From The Atlantic article linked:

    “dwight eisenhower • 2 days ago
    One of the reasons that the renaissance thinking men who founded America chose to flee England was to escape the power that the members of the royal families held over the rest of the population. By getting rid of the inheritance tax America is creating its own royal families. This, in itself,is a great reason not to lower it further and yes, even to raise it.”

    Mother Mary.

    1. WTF

      Because “being allowed to leave your own money to your family” = “having the power of government force over the population”. Jesus Christ these people are morons.

      1. Atanarjuat

        After the estate tax, the next legislative priority is establishing the obligation for Trump heirs to deflower young maidens on their wedding night.

        1. Just Say’n

          Lucky

        2. The Last American Hero

          Like Billionaire Heirs have a hard time getting laid in the NY socialite scene.

        3. Vhyrus

          If only Ivanka had held off…

      2. Drake

        You can’t leave your money, farm, house, or business to the kids – not unless you pull a Kennedy and hide it all in Fiji.

    2. Just Say’n

      Yes, it was the royal family that clearly drove them to break away from England. It wasn’t like they had a grievance with parliament over taxes and actually appealed to the king as a last resort. Why, that would just be historically accurate. It is best to make-up lies that make you feel fuzzy.

      1. robc

        To be fair, the DoI was directed at the King, not at parliament.

        He has refused…
        He has forbidden…
        He has erected…

        etc

        1. The part about “he has combined with others” to oppress American referred to acts of Parliament.

        2. Sour Kraut

          “See-rected not ee-rected…”

      2. Drake

        I expect a lot more attacks on the Founders by the SJW crowd. They really hate being reminded that our revolution began as a tax protest and sparked into open warfare over an attempted gun-grab – which is why I remind of that constantly.

        1. robc

          Patrick Henry couldn’t get elected to anything today. Which is part of why he is so awesome.

    3. robc

      To live his life in his own way, to call his house his castle, to enjoy the fruits of his own labour, to educate his children as his conscience directs, to save for their prosperity after his death — these are wishes deeply ingrained in civilised man. — CS Lewis

      This is also my campaign platform if I ever run for office. Bolding is mine for this situation.

      1. Just Say’n

        Any man that quotes CS Lewis in a campaign has my vote.

        1. Just Say’n

          Unless he’s quoting The Chronicles of Narnia, of course

          1. What the shit? You don’t remember the movie where Aslan confronted the white witch and said “I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughters of Eve go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.”

            That scene was badass.

          2. WTF

            I loved the scene at the end (spoiler) where the Arab prince starts to say “We can negotiate” and Neeson shoots him in the face before he can finish the sentence.

          3. l0b0t

            Funnily enough, in book 5 A Horse And His Boy, the Arab prince Calormene Prince attempts to leap down from a parapet screaming “The Bolt of Tash falls from above!” but gets stuck on a hook and is mocked by the Narnians and Archenlanders; then Aslan turns him into a donkey.

          4. Fatty Bolger

            It was sad when she cut him down with her lightsaber, though. Everybody cried.

          5. AlexinCT

            I thought the character was Asslow… And Kumar got what was coming to him for messing with the little dude.

          6. robc

            If I am gonna quote christian allegorical talking-animal fantasy works, it will be The Book of the Dun Cow.

          7. robc

            Such as:

            It is entirely possible to win against the enemy, it is possible, even, to kill the enemy… and still be defeated by the battle.

    4. I presume Reich votes against any member of a would-be political dynasty when they run for President?

  8. straffinrun

    Registration cost for the conference ranges from $230 for students to $400 for individuals for the full session, and $100 to $175 for single days. Conference information is at WhitePrivilegeConference.com.

    At least Mao’s struggle sessions were free.

    1. Mike Schmidt

      What the hell makes them think I can afford that kind of coin?! Oh, right, White Privilege…

      1. Drake

        I plan to spend all my White Privilege on steak and beer.

        1. WTF

          No hookers and coke?

    2. ChipsnSalsa

      Do they have a page on talking points I can use to get my employer to pay for it?

      1. straffinrun

        Doesn’t your employer even Human Resource?

        1. ChipsnSalsa

          Too much to be honest.

          1. Drake

            It’s where we store our frumpy spinsters.

          2. AlexinCT

            Grievances mongers the lot of them

    3. Banjos

      Are BDSM costumes required?

  9. straffinrun

    <a href="http://www.craveonline.com/mandatory/1253025-woman-used-boyfriends-balls-apply-make-up"NSFW. Woman uses ____________ to apply makeup. Guess before clicking if you want.

    1. straffinrun

      Hahahaha. EDIT FAIRY!

    2. Mike Schmidt

      I’m gonna say her boyfriends balls. Guess how I figured it out.

      1. ChipsnSalsa

        Using this one weird trick?

      2. straffinrun

        Yeah, I, uh, meant to do that.

        1. Mike Schmidt

          Oh. Well then you did a damn good job, sir. Huzzah!

        2. Bobarian LMD

          It’s hard to type with your balls?

    3. I already posted this 2 days ago ::kicks pebble::

      1. straffinrun

        PM, AM or Afternoon? I’m only here for the AM. It would be creepy if I posted that in the PM.

        1. PM methinks – no probs

          1. You could always, you know, look at and comment on our links…

      2. Count Potato

        It was posted in the AM, but I forgot who posted it.

      3. Mike Schmidt

        ‘Cause it’s not like you’ve ever linked to a story that the actual links already had, right?

    4. The edit faerie whispered in my ear that that whole comment is too fucked up to even know how to begin editing it.

      Sorry.

      1. straffinrun

        Just, well, fuggit. It gave me a chuckle.

      2. Mike Schmidt

        Not to mention all the comments below it would make no sense if you did

  10. Rick C-137

    That cop story is sketchy as hell. Also does the privilege conference realize how white KC is? this has the potential to be amusing.

    1. cyto

      How ya gonna get publicity for your conference studying white privilege, white supremacy and oppression by white people if you don’t gin up some white supremacist, or at least conservative, protesters?

  11. File under: I should have known better

    I’ve recently started listening to this musician named Kevin Morby – sort of a 1970s FM Radio sound. A bit different than your normal new alternative junk.

    Yesterday I searched on his name and found this interview, where I got to read some of his political views:

    I was in London the night Trump won the election. It was the biggest headlining show I’ve ever played. A sold-out show, and like this victory lap of all the hard work that had gone into everything. It was amazing and my whole label was there — they bought the champagne for us. We were all having a good time, it was so celebratory. And then they brought down a projector and just threw on the election. We watched until the sun came up around 7 in the morning. When they announced he was president, it was mind-melting.

    First, I felt ashamed to be an American. I felt embarrassed to be over there [in Europe]. I felt like people were going to be angry, you know, because we were the Americans. But I learned that I was really happy to be over there, although I felt really far away from my country and my family and my friends, who were all going through it together. We just had the four of us, but I was actually like, “You know what, I’m really happy to be here and I’m really happy to have a platform.” It made me more vocal — like, we’re talking about politics in this interview and I talk about politics more than I ever have in my life and hear people talking about politics more than ever.

    1. WTF

      Hey Morby, you’re a musician; shut up and sing, dipshit.

    2. like, we’re talking about politics in this interview and I talk about politics more than I ever have in my life and hear people talking about politics more than ever.

      Did he just perfectly define social signaling?

      1. cyto

        There have been a ton of similar articles and interviews in recent weeks, lauding the fighting spirit of all good thinking peoples who were moved to action by the election of Trump.

        But the focus is usually on the crushing disappointment when Lady Hillary lost. The turn from “we rule forever!!” to “oh, crap. We lost.” was only an hour or so, giving them severe whiplash and creating anger and rage.

        Most of them had been marching with pussy hats for some time before they even started figuring out why Trump was so evil. Heck, some of them are still running off on the “Trump is an anti-Semite” tangent.

    3. Drake

      It’s so embarrassing because European politics have never taken a bad turn.

    4. What really irks me about this is Clinton herself. Just to be so blinded by teams that you don’t see that “your” candidate is an evil person boggles my mind.

      I really wanted Trump to win against Hillary. Not because I’m a super fan, but because I wanted anyone but that evil thing to become president. I would have supported a random person from the telephone book (shades of WFB) than her.

      1. AlexinCT

        Yeah but she is MY kind of evil!

        /prog off

      2. Behold!

        *Points to random person in the telephine book. Sees it’s Lizzie Warren.*

  12. Slammer

    I need some Silver and Black Skittles

    1. egould310

      ?????????

  13. Rufus the Monocled

    White privilege conference.

    Not racist at all.

    Nope.

    1. WTF

      You can’t be racist against white people because intersectionality, or something.

      1. Rick C-137

        Heard that parroted in college more times than I can count. ‘Unless/ until minorities control the gov’t and oppress and enslave white people for 400 years, rape their homeland,” etc. etc. ad nauseum. they can’t be racist, only prejudiced. which is like racism but without power. It’s actually pretty insulting of an idea but all my prog associates eat it up.

        1. UnCivilServant

          Power has jack shit to do with racism. Period. End of line.

          1. Rick C-137

            That’s the truth, but the progs, they speak something different

          2. UnCivilServant

            Don’t cede ground on language. Hammer their misuse of English home every time they try to claim words mean something they don’t.

        2. straffinrun

          Arab slave trade history. Hey, I could edit a history textbook.

          1. Rick C-137

            Also Irish slavery wasn’t a thing, at least not like African slavery, but better conditions for the Irish

          2. Rufus the Monocled

            Indentured servants.

            Technically.

          3. -800 year old dungeons in Ireland.

          4. AlexinCT

            My ancestors were likely put in the gladiatorial arena in Rome, so I want free shit!

        3. PieInTheSKy

          I am Romanian Turks and Tatars oppressed my land for many a century. Took money, slaves, burned shit (the little shit that was left after the locals burned it, Romanians had a thing about burning everything, poisoning the wells and retreating to the mountains. seems kinda counterproductive to capital accumulation, but what do I know) Hell add Russians, Poles, Austrians, Hungarians. Why I demand reparations !!!!

          1. Rufus the Monocled

            Yeh but….you know, Romanians.

          2. PieInTheSKy

            I know what your saying… At least I’m not french.

          3. Rufus the Monocled

            Booya!

          4. AlexinCT

            The proper term is cheese eating surrender monkeys…

          5. Drake

            Eastern Europe doesn’t seem to be boarding the multi-cultural bandwagon. Your EU betters are very disappointed.

          6. Rufus the Monocled

            Well, being mostly a gateway to Western Europe and having been on the first-end of invasions, I kinda get their reluctance.

          7. Drake

            That seems to be part of it. Greece was the last to be liberated from Ottoman rule but they seem perfectly willing to lay down for the EU in exchange for an allowance.

            Surviving the communists seems to have put a little steel into their spines of their eastern neighbors.

          8. Hammercorps

            Most of the Eastern European countries seem much more gun-friendly then their Western Euro counterparts as well.

          9. Drake

            Maybe a couple of generations of hearing Orwellian bullshit from the commies makes them wary of the Orwellian bullshit from the EU?

          10. LT_Fish

            You’ll see that anytime it comes up greeks vs turks (airspace, islands, etc) – the Greeks will get their hackles up. They are Euros after all, not Ottomans.

          11. The Last American Hero

            The Poles and Hungarians can collectively raise about $5 for reparations. Will that suffice?

        4. WTF

          Blissfully ignorant that plenty of white people had been enslaved throughout history for a period of more than 400 years. And been oppressed, and had their homeland “raped”, etc. etc. But somehow only black slavery in the US counts, forever and ever, victimhood without end.

          1. Rick C-137

            I don’t even bring up Irish slavery anymore ’cause its different. Apparently having your home occupied, being starved out and then forced to go to the americas is note the same thing

          2. Drake

            The Brits went easy on the Irish – the Viking built the port of Dublin to export slaves. Irish girls sold well in the Byzantine and Arab slave markets.

          3. WTF

            Since I have Irish ancestry, I am therefore entitled to reparations.

          4. No wonder there are so many O’Mohammeds in the Middle East.

          5. Hammercorps

            I have Polish ancestry, therefore, I am entitled to reparations from the Russians, Germans, and Austrians, right?

          6. UnCivilServant

            No, you still owe them for your ancestors squatting on their land.

          7. Hammercorps

            Dammit. Well, am I at least entitled to an apology from the Templars?

          8. Sour Kraut

            That third partition of Poland was just brutal.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Some 2,500 people — including college and high school students, teachers, university faculty, social activists, counselors, clergy and business people — gathered for the 17th annual conference in Philadelphia a year ago.

      In case anyone thought this was a new thing.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Was it held at Liberty Hall? You know, for ironic purposes.

      2. straffinrun

        They’ve actually had 170 of them, but nobody showed up for the first few.

        1. ::golf clap::

        2. Rufus the Monocled

          Speaking of its clientele, I just saw on the way back from walking my daughter to school a millennial in a pony tail, a long beard, a tattoo of Chinese characters under his ear area driving a Kia at 20 miles per hour in a 30 zone.

          These are our men now.

          Ahem.

          PS: This is a generalization admittedly. I recently met another millennials except this one still had a beard but drove a Chevy pick up, worked in steel, had his head screwed on right, pumped iron and loved guns.

          I just felt like writing it…because.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            I was reacquainted with a college “friend” who was bragging about how her daughter was going to the March For Science wearing a pussy hat.

            I tried really hard not to scowl.

          2. UnCivilServant

            Don’t refrain. Scowl openly. Express your disapproval of their poor cognitive processes.

          3. WTF

            I would have had to try really hard not to say “Well, you’ve really failed as a parent”.

          4. Scruffy Nerfherder

            There wouldn’t have been any winning this argument. There’s no position to argue against because it’s all based on feelings. Yay critical theory.

          5. WTF

            Oh, I know, believe me. My sister-in-law and mother-in-law are proggies. Thankfully my wife never caught the disease.

          6. Rufus the Monocled

            Yeh, there’s not a whole lot you can say to that except hope they can read your telepathic energy.

          7. I just remember the soldiers I had the absolute honor to lead – there are some amazing folks out there in their 20s. They ain’t all lumbersexuals and pussyhat wearers.

            BONUS: I saw some awesome Canadians too. Princess Patricia Light Rifles…Infantry (?)

          8. Rufus the Monocled

            Sounds like a gay unit.

            /wink. Taps bum turns around and walks away.

          9. But Enough About Me

            Princess Patricia Light Rifles…Infantry (?)

            Ah, the Pats. Princess Patricia’s Canadian Light Infantry. 1st, 2nd or 3rd PPCLI, do you remember?

          10. Hammercorps

            I wish I could grow a beard. I just end up patchy.

      3. Rick C-137

        The fact people pay for this thing is the biggest red flag, the ticket prices set it well outside the scope of anyone that would ‘need’ it, the poorest and in the prog mind most unwoke people haven’t the means to spend three days or whatever lamenting their privilege, which should say something about their theories

        1. AlexinCT

          I bet they make great money and sell plenty of these over priced waste of time conference seats from employers in desperate need to virtue signal their SJW creds, most likely out of fear that not doing that will get them raked over the coals in the media…..

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder
      1. straffinrun

        Wise, T. (2005). White like me: Reflections on race from a privileged son. New York: Soft Skull Press.

        *Squeezes fontanelles into cone*

        1. WTF

          Because the white son of an unemployed coal miner in Appalachia is more privileged than the black daughter of optometrists in Manhattan’s upper east side.

          1. Count Potato

            Just like that brat at Mizzou who supposedly went on a hunger strike made was the son of a railroad executive who reportedly made $8M a year.

        2. Thandeka. (2006). Learning to be white: Money, race, and God in America. New York: Continuum.

          You mean there’s courses in being rich and white? Why wasn’t I informed?

          1. WTF

            I’ve got the “white” part down, bu the “rich” part seems to elude me.

          2. Have you tried walking into a bank and saying, “I’m white, give me money”?

          3. (Technically, I simply asked if you’d tried it)

          4. Hammercorps

            Cousin goes to school on the East Coast, and he still can’t get the privilege part down. Everytime he’s told to Check his Privilege, he tells women and minorities to bow before him.

            Still hasn’t worked.

          5. UnCivilServant

            The bank gives me money all the time – but if it’s more than what’s in my account they expect me to pay it back.

          6. AlexinCT

            Why? Are you out of checks? I thought you were good until you ran out of checks to write..

      2. Count Potato

        I’m sure reading all that would be same as looking through that cursed microscope on Rick and Morty.

          1. Rick C-137

            “Literally retarded, Morty”

  14. STEVE SMITH NEEDS TO PACK A BOWL

    Bizarre footage shows Dutch youngsters freaking out while ‘filming a bigfoot’ peering out from behind a tree

    A strange video filmed by two youngsters named Lucas and Jeroen was shot at a Dutch national park, with some speculating that they have glimpsed Bigfoot.

    The lads were wandering round Veluwezoom National Park when the noticed the humanoid figure peering at them from behind a tree in the distance.

    The pair can be heard swearing with incredulity when they see the creature lurking in the forest.

    But they are forced to run after a gunfire like bang can be heard in the background.

    1. straffinrun

      Pretty sure that was Poppy after her roots grew out.

    2. WTF

      STEVE SMITH PACKING, BUT IT NOT BOWL.

      1. *standing ovation*

        1. Hammercorps

          STEVE SMITH MUST BE CAREFUL NOT TO BOWL THEM OVER WITH PACKAGE.

  15. Rufus the Monocled

    I thought you hockey fans may enjoy hearing that the GM of the Habs doesn’t think having top centers is necessary going as far as to claiming teams have won the Cup without them and that they’re hard to find anyway. Amazing stuff. In fact, it’s the opposite of the philosophy of management in Montreal who seem to think you need a #1 goalie. No you don’t. You can win with above average to strong goaltending; you don’t need a lights out goalie to steal you a Cup.

    1. The Red Wings won a cup with Chris Osgood, someone who I wouldn’t consider top tier material. He certainly wasn’t a Dominik Hasek, or even a *hate spittle* Patrick Roy; both who could snatch a game.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        And Mike Vernon.

        1. Private Chipperbot

          And Niemi.

          1. Private Chipperbot

            Eh, that was a general goalie who sucked and won a cup comment.

      2. Rufus the Monocled

        The Canadiens and some of their fans have too much of an unhealthy boner for Carey Price. Personally, while he’s very good, his statistics don’t justify the accolades; less so in the playoffs. If he were any other goalie no one would give him a pass on such pedestrian stats. But apparently he’s the best despite not getting it done in the playoffs – so far.

      3. The Last American Hero

        Ozzy had a great defense in front of him, but his stats are pretty strong, borderline HOF stuff.

    2. ChipsnSalsa

      To buy a goalie to lead you to the cup is pretty much impossible. Best thing you can do is get a good goalie and if he gets hot, ride that as long as you can. If he doesn’t, you still have a solid goalie.

    3. They only won their last cup because that twitchy fucker Roy played out of his mind between the pipes. Maybe they’re thinking of that?

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        I fear that’s what they think. He did that in 1986 too. I never saw anything like it in both ’86 and ’93. 10 straight OT wins, was it in 1993?

        1989 they were a powerhouse and better than any of those team but they lost to a really good Flames team.

    4. Private Chipperbot

      You need a goalie who can stand up and gets hot at the right time. I remember countless Wings games when they’d pepper someone with 40 shots and get a goal out of it.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        +1 Ron Tugnutt 73 shots stopped against Boston.

        1. Private Chipperbot

          I think Bourque took 20 shots in that game.

    5. Tundra

      Shut down D with a strong goalie. No shots, no goals.

  16. straffinrun

    Pope Francis gives a surprise TED Talk, calls for a ‘revolution of tenderness’ *Maybe linked, but well, just in case…

    “How wonderful would it be if the growth of scientific and technological innovation would come along with more equality and social inclusion,” he said to applause. “How wonderful would it be, while we discover faraway planets, to rediscover the needs of the brothers and sisters orbiting around us.”

    1. UnCivilServant

      I am not so much of a fat bastard that people orbit me.

      1. cyto

        I mean, sure, he’ll eat the odd baby. But he’s not such a fat bastard that he actually has satellites in orbit.

    2. PieInTheSKy

      We are this close to crating the New Man.

    3. Akira

      “How wonderful would it be if the growth of scientific and technological innovation would come along with more equality and social inclusion,”

      Ok, let’s see… Just to take one example of relatively recent technology: the Internet. A connection costs about the same as a cable bill in most places, so it’s affordable to even the very poor. On the Internet, you can access:

      – Educational resources, most of them for free (Khan Academy, etc.)
      – A vast amount of the world’s literature and art, again, much of it for free
      – Platforms for making your opinions heard and linking up with like-minded people – once again, usually for free

      People in 1950 couldn’t dream of having all those things right in their own home no matter how rich they were. Now, almost everybody has access to this resource. So why exactly is he whining that the benefits of technological progress are somehow exclusive and unequal?

      1. AlexinCT

        Cat videos and porn is all most people end up doing…

  17. Haybob

    Kansas City home of the 2017 White Guilt Privelege Conference, culturally appropriated BBQ and a baseball team that’s looking like it’s old 90’s self.

    1. Haybob

      HTML fail posting from my phone

    2. Haybob

      Did an admin correct my HTML? Thank you oh great deity of code!

      1. It was the good edit faerie, I swear. He just forgot to leave any footprints.

  18. PieInTheSKy

    I really thought Bulls and Bucks would pull an upset but now, not so much any more. You would think that the deer would be more fearsome

    1. PieInTheSKy

      The Kochs should really form a PAC with Soros just for the fun of it. They can get Chelsea Clinton to run it

      1. *head explodes*

    2. KibbledKristen

      If only!

  19. TW: Slate

    Trump, Bound
    On Inauguration Day, the president seemed poised to destroy American democracy. Here are the people and institutions that have kept him in check—for now.

    For another, there are plenty of powerful actors stymieing Trump’s agenda for reasons of their own. The president’s effort to bring back coal is getting an unenthusiastic welcome from utilities, which can make more money with cleaner energy sources. And his health care reform proposal died at the hands of the House Freedom Caucus members who found it insufficiently radical.

    To mark the 100th day of Trump’s presidency, we’ve assembled in mostly alphabetical order some of the people and institutions—progressive and conservative, American and foreign, principled and self-interested—who are teaching Donald Trump that the president of the United States doesn’t always get his way.

    I’ll take “Obama Who?” for $800, Alex.

    1. PieInTheSKy

      Wait removing coal regulations is part of destroying democracy?

      I don’t get this, Bailey had a similar thing on the old site a while ago. If the markets avoid coal, why have pointless regulations against it?

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Democracy is the progressive agenda. the progressive agenda is democracy.

        1. WTF

          Exactly. This is what the left actually believes.

    2. WTF

      By the way, America is not supposed to be a democracy, it’s supposed to be a constitutional republic.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        DEMOCRACY IS OUR GOD. KNEEL BEFORE DEMOCRACY.

      2. Drake

        We took a vote and decided to shoot the 49% who agree with you.

        1. WTF

          Seems legit.

    3. Count Potato

      “which can make more money with cleaner energy sources”

      Because the evil greedy corporations would choose to make less money?

      1. The Elite Elite

        If it means destroying the planet and poisoning their customers? Of course! That’s how private companies work you know. Profits before people. But polluting before profits!

        1. Count Potato

          So that’s why they are willing to pay men more money to do the same job.

  20. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Q: Who is we? I hear progressives, and politicians in general, talk a lot about the middle class, but not much about people who live in poverty. Why is that?

    Warren: One of the things I talk about is the way I divide the world. It’s the top ten percent who do very, very well; and the remaining ninety percent. And I talk about the interests of the ninety percent together, and make the argument that the investments in education, in infrastructure, in a robust economy, and in research are the things that benefit the ninety percent.

    By definition, if you live in America, you’re in the top ten percent. Of course, that’s not what she means.

    1. ChipsnSalsa

      That is what really ticked me off about the 99% protest garbage. Just by having your two feet planted on this particular piece of earth you are in the upper crust of the world by default.

      Total lack of understanding of what is going on in the rest of the world.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        And a total lack of willingness to contribute in a meaningful manner. All they want to do is bitch and get recognized for it.

    2. WTF

      If you live in America, you are in the top 1% of the world’s population in wealth. But without envy, the left has nothing.

  21. Could Fiat Chrysler spin off Jeep, Ram? ‘Yes’

    Marchionne was asked whether the automaker’s Jeep and Ram brands, either together or separately, could be spun off into a separate, standalone company.

    “Yes,” Marchionne said.

    The idea is likely jarring to workers and many others but is not out of the question for Marchionne, the mercurial CEO of the Italian-American automaker who has engineered a number of mergers, acquisitions and spin-offs.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Jeep, we’re too shitty for Fiat.

      1. robc

        I have enjoyed my Cherokee. Im only at 18k miles, will let you know at 80k if it is still running good.

        1. WTF

          My 4Runner has 134K, runs great. My previous car was a Ford Explorer, still ran great at 130K, but traded it in because the wife wanted something new. I never had a Jeep.

      2. mexican sharpshooter

        My Grand Cherokee has run pretty well, and it will hit 100K miles this year. Of course I say that with the caveat that I bought it CPO and I made sure the dealer had made the fixed to all 6 (!) recalls on the 2012 model.

  22. Oregon Red Light Ticket Objector, Clearly a Glutton for Punishment, Continues Fight

    In late 2014, the original red light case was handily dismissed, despite Järlström revealing that the amber light cycle at that Beaverton intersection — and others so equipped — lasted 3.35 seconds. The light cycle should last 3.5 seconds, he argued, stating that too-short amber lights amount to a cash grab on the part of the municipality.

    Splitting hairs? Maybe, but the federal judge wasn’t interested in fractions of a second. Oregon state law says that an amber light means you stop immediately, not that you stop only if it’s safe to do so. The $260 ticket remained.

    In most cases, this would have served as the final chapter to a lengthy saga, but Järlström’s battles were only just beginning. In the lead-up to the court case, his extensive research on red light cameras earned him an appearance on 60 Minutes. The Institute of Transportation Engineers invited Järlström to its annual meeting.

    When the Oregon State Board of Examiners for Engineering and Land Surveying heard about Järlström’s research, it threatened Järlström with a $500 fine for falsely passing himself off as an engineer. The red-light-distrusting resident had earlier appealed to the board, hoping to present his findings to its members. Even calling himself an engineer in his letter was a violation, it said.

    1. UnCivilServant

      When the Oregon State Board of Examiners for Engineering and Land Surveying heard about Järlström’s research, it threatened Järlström with a $500 fine for falsely passing himself off as an engineer. The red-light-distrusting resident had earlier appealed to the board, hoping to present his findings to its members. Even calling himself an engineer in his letter was a violation, it said.

      The guild says who can and cannot call themselves by the guild titles!

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Several years ago one of the state boards threatened action against a geology professor for publishing an op-ed against a proposed gravel mine because he wasn’t a register geologist and therefore couldn’t make public statements about rocks in the ground.

      2. Wait a goddamn minute.

        So you’re telling me the state of Oregon will let someone with a dick identify as a woman, but someone with a degree in engineering can’t identify as an engineer?

        We live in crazy times, my friends. Crazy times.

        1. AlexinCT

          It’s worse than crazy…

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Never underestimate the pettiness of state board members.

    3. I forgot to add this bit (for length):

      You see, Järlström is an engineer. He holds a degree in electrical engineering from Sweden, and worked on aircraft camera systems in the Swedish Air Force before coming to the U.S. to work in high tech. However, he hasn’t registered for the state license that would make his title official.

      Also looks like That Other Site touched on this.

      1. Gadfly

        Yep, the petty bureaucrats got him on a technicality. For most engineering work you don’t need to be licensed to call yourself an engineer (such as electrical engineering, which is this guy’s specialty), but for civil engineering work, which technically includes traffic calculations, you do. This guy wrote a letter to the people who license engineers calling himself an engineer while discussing something that’s technically in an engineering field in which you have to be licensed. It’s pretty much a lightning strike of circumstances that lets the board fine him, as if he had written the exact same letter but never bothered to call himself an engineer in it they could do nothing. Maybe this guy could argue mens rea to get out of it, as this regulation is not commonly known among non-civil engineers.

        1. AlexinCT

          Don’t get between the state and its money grabbing schemes or else…

    4. Drake

      WTF is an “amber light”? Dark yellow?

    5. WTF

      Oregon state law says that an amber light means you stop immediately, not that you stop only if it’s safe to do so.

      So it’s the legal equivalent of a red light; why bother with an amber light at all? Just go from green to red, because it’s functionally the same.

      1. DrZaius

        Oregon state law says: (4) Steady circular yellow signal. A driver facing a steady circular yellow signal light is thereby warned that the related right of way is being terminated and that a red or flashing red light will be shown immediately. A driver facing the light shall stop at a clearly marked stop line, but if none, shall stop before entering the marked crosswalk on the near side of the intersection, or if there is no marked crosswalk, then before entering the intersection. If a driver cannot stop in safety, the driver may drive cautiously through the intersection.

        So if there isn’t enough distance to come to a stop prior to entering the intersection you are supposed to continue through.

        Not sure where the ‘must stop immediately’ interpretation came from when the language is pretty straightforward in my opinion.

        1. Mythical Libertarian Woman

          I remember growing up being told constantly, “You have to stop at a yellow light in Oregon, you can’t go through it like you do in California.” Of course, NO ONE does. They all jam on it just like they do in California.

          Oregon has a lot of retarded traffic laws. For example, you can’t make a U-turn unless there’s a sign up that says “U-turn permitted.” I’ve seen one of those in the entire state.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    On Inauguration Day, the president seemed poised to destroy American democracy.

    Oh, no. Your apocalypse porn fantasy didn’t come true? You’re still here, going to work every morning, instead of being blown straight onto Jesus’ lap by the Secret Nazi Newkulur Holocaust?

    Sad.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      BUT IT COULD HAPPEN ANY DAY!

      Had to drive my mom to the airport this morning. She was going on and on about that and how terrible the government shutdown may/will be.

    2. Rhywun

      being blown straight onto Jesus’ lap

      Phrasing…

    1. That’s pretty funny.
      But on a serious note, I think it’s a little bit fucked up that a judge would allow himself to be interviewed about what happened in his courtroom about a specific person. Isn’t that a little out of the ordinary?

      1. Haybob

        Come to think of it, I’ve never seen it before. Maybe he thinks he’s helping the war on drugs.

  24. straffinrun

    Yokel vs Cosmo feud continues. Cato Institute does seem to be starting all this shit.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s unfortunate. Cato has gotten too close to the reins of power.

    2. woah:

      War and central banking are about the last two issues Lindsey wants discussed. The very heart of the empire? Forget it. Let’s make libertarianism about prostitution and abortion, discussion of which poses not the slightest threat to the regime.

      And whoops — I shouldn’t have said empire just there. Only a crazy person would use a word like that.

      When the chips are down, you can count on folks like Lindsey to stand with the establishment, jointly denouncing heretics.

    3. Tundra

      Just finished his podcast on this. Excellent.

      1. straffinrun

        I try to pick one or two a week for my commute. Woods is the happy warrior, but he will punch back.

    4. straffinrun

      Oh and Brinkley gets his ass handed to him on twitter.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Wow. He’s getting hammered.

      2. Suit & Tie Guy‏ @suitandtieguy Apr 21
        Replying to @lindsey_brink

        thank you for reminding us why Koch-style beltway libertarianism is such a massive failure. More Mises, less Reason!

        1. WTF

          Nice

        2. Count Potato

          Funny, I know that guy from several other forums and never would have guessed he was a libertarian.

        3. bacon-magic

          lol

    5. Juvenile Bluster

      Oh goody.

      Nobody can run a purity test like a libertarian.

    6. Chipwooder

      I’ve often heard Brink Lindsey described as a libertarian without any evidence whatsoever that he actually is one. “Liberaltarian” my ass. He. Will Wilkinson, and anyone affiliated with the Niskanen Center (and all their sweet, sweet leftist foundation money) can fuck right off.

  25. Tundra

    I wonder if Rand Paul has ever had a patient tell him this.

    I’ll bet Daryl Hannah has.

  26. Trials and Trippelations

    So my bonus for transitioning from a first year to a second year nurse as well as the student loan forgiveness stipend were issued this paycheck.

    And fucking 25% of this paycheck went to taxes. Despite claiming a high number of exemptions on my w4. Hearing we don’t pay enough in taxes my might make me angry, turn green, and suddenly gain muscle mass

    1. That’s the problem with direct deposits of my paycheck – I don’t get to see the leeches at work unless I take the time to look up the information.

    2. PieInTheSKy

      Hello nurse. Was the transition painful?

      1. Haybob

        If a 1st year nurse identifies as a 2nd year nurse can they use the 2nd year bathroom?

      2. Trials and Trippelations

        Har har. I guess in my rage I neglected better word choices like promoted instead of transition. :p

        1. PieInTheSKy

          is it a promotion if a year just happened to pass? I mean it would have passed anyway. Years do that. You mostly survived to become a second year

          1. Trials and Trippelations

            No the bonus isn’t simply given for working a year. I had to take employer classes and be signed off for a host of competencies for the patient population that my unit has.

          2. The Last American Hero

            Isn’t it an ethical violation to get your unit involved with the patients?

          3. AlexinCT

            What kind of competencies? Bow hunting skills? Nunchuck skills? Computer skills?

    3. LT_Fish

      I’m looking forward to my reserve signing bonus – knowing full well that I’ll lose 25% straight off the top. Hopefully it shows up sooner than the beginning of the fiscal year.

  27. PieInTheSKy

    Commission on the Status of Women: The Council elected by secret ballot 13 members to four-year terms, beginning at the first meeting of the Commission’s sixty-third session in 2018 and expiring at the close of the sixty-sixth session in 2022: Algeria, Comoros, Congo, Ghana and Kenya (African States); Iraq, Japan, Republic of Korea, Saudi Arabia and Turkmenistan (Asia-Pacific States); and Ecuador, Haiti and Nicaragua (Latin American and Caribbean States).

    from https://www.un.org/press/en/2017/ecosoc6824.doc.htm

    So I don’t get what kind of countries you want on this commission but seems a bit weird. Also looking at that page, UN has a lot of commissions given the complete worthlessness and lack of results of the organization. Unless you consider child rape by peacekeepers results …

    1. PieInTheSKy

      ha Romania got one

      Commission for Social Development: The Council elected by acclamation seven members to fill outstanding vacancies, including Congo and Senegal (African States) for a term beginning on the date of election and expiring at the close of the Commission’s fifty-eighth session in 2020.

      The Council also elected by acclamation Bulgaria, Romania, and the Republic of Moldova (Eastern European States), filling, respectively, two vacancies for a term beginning on the date of election and expiring in 2021, and one vacancy beginning on the date of election and expiring in 2019. It also elected by acclamation France and Iceland (Western European and Other States) for terms beginning on the date of election and expiring in 2021 and in 2020, respectively.

      Finally, it postponed the election of two members from the Asia-Pacific States expiring at the close of the Commission’s fifty-ninth session, and three from the Western European and Other States, including two for a term expiring at the close of the fifty-ninth session in 2021 and one expiring at the close of the fifty-eighth session in 2020.

    2. PieInTheSKy

      And apparently the women one was the only commission with secret ballot, the rest seem to be by acclamation. Ok I’m done with this

    3. UnCivilServant

      The easiest way to have your country elected to a UN commission on an issue is to have the worst record on that issue.

    4. WTF

      I wish Trump really would cut off funding to the UN and kick them the fuck out.

    5. Juvenile Bluster

      Saudi Arabia, which is about to execute someone for being an atheist, is also head of the Human Rights Commission, because why the fuck not.

      1. Drake

        If I was UN Ambassador, I would be tempted to vote as ironically as possible. Put North Korea in charge of the Nutrition Commission, China would take care of patent law, the Saudis are the obvious choice for Women’s Rights. The Congo can run Energy Policy. Venezuela can monitor elections.

        What else am I missing?

        1. UnCivilServant

          Haitians for disaster preparation.

        2. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Argentina should run the World Bank

          1. UnCivilServant

            Replacing Zimbabwe? Ah well. They had a good run there.

          2. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Zimbabwe gets the IMF

          3. straffinrun

            PLO for The Bank of International Settlements.

          4. LT_Fish

            Don’t forget that UNHCR is basically an agency created strictly for the Palestinians – don’t handle any other refugee issues.

        3. Count Potato

          Bring back the Trusteeship Council and give it to England?

          The United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime should go to Mexico.

      2. WTF

        It’s all about the bribes.

        1. Drake

          India can head that commission.

    6. Gadfly

      The reason the UN is pointless is because they invited a bunch of insignificant nations to the party and treat them as equals. Having a forum in which nations can discuss international relations is a good idea, but pretending that Monaco is just as important to international affairs as the United States undermines the effectiveness of such an institution by putting idealistic fantasy ahead of practical reality. That’s why the more exclusive clubs such as the G20 which only concern themselves with the major players are where the real heavy lifting of international diplomacy occurs. The UN does nothing more than stroke egos and abet corruption.

      1. Gilmore

        The reason the UN is pointless is because they invited a bunch of insignificant nations to the party and treat them as equals.

        Well, that IS the point of it.

        The entire pretense of the UN is that it gives non-superpower states the ability to gang up and (sort of/slightly/superficially appear to) wield influence over the superpower states.

        Of course they don’t, but the appearance is enough that it makes the populations of these non-superpower states ameliorated enough that they don’t go around starting wars and having revolutions and otherwise making things problematic for the regional powers.

        . The UN does nothing more than stroke egos and abet corruption.

        Yes, but you say that as tho “egos and corruption” weren’t the bread and butter of 3rd world regimes.

        I’m not saying the UN is a good thing. I’m just pointing out that you don’t seem to grok that these very aspects you complain about as trivial are in fact the most important purposes the UN serves in giving appearance to ameliorating the imbalances of power between large and small states. And i’d say that its existence HAS probably helped prevent wars from breaking out in many places, and kept the wars that do relatively small.

        1. AlexinCT

          Don’t forget how it also provided plenty of opportunities for UN members to prey on the weak…

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Not sure what to think? Let a Limey explain it to you.

    Because of the shadow cast by the Russian allegations, these first 100 days have sometimes felt like the final days of an ailing administration. Trump is routinely cast as a modern-day Richard Nixon. Yet while it is difficult sometimes to see how this administration can remain viable in its present form, it is harder to imagine how it would be brought to a premature end.

    Barring some catastrophic revelation emerging from the FBI’s investigation into Team Trump’s alleged links with the Kremlin or some massive financial scandal, the Republican leadership is unlikely to move against him. In the unlikely event that it launched impeachment proceedings, here the constitution is his friend.

    It is hard to dislodge an incumbent president.

    The Founding Fathers, who came up with a governing model that has constrained Trump, also came up with an electoral model, the Electoral College, which has already helped him and may do so again. That will be true if the Rust Belt remains a stronghold.

    My overwhelming sense, based on the popular vote in November and opinion polls since, is that more Americans are anti-Trump than pro.

    But my sense also is that many blue-collar battlers remain fiercely loyal. So to write him off would be to repeat the same analytical mistake commentators have made since he first announced for the presidency, that of underestimation.

    For while Democrats regard their new president as a national embarrassment, many of his supporters continue to view him as a potential national saviour.

    One hundred days into a presidency the like of which this country has never seen before, the state of the union is disunion.

    Poor baby. He cannot fathom the depravity which has wrought such a grotesque miscarriage of electoral justice upon his world. Also, Trump is most Presidential when dropping bombs in a spasm of retribution.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Trump is most Presidential when dropping bombs in a spasm of retribution

      99% of historians cunts agree.

    2. Gilmore

      among his 62 million supporters, rage and fear were over-riding emotions

      more projection than your local Omniplex

  29. Juvenile Bluster

    Police close in, but SPECTRE agent kills self before they can arrest him. Seriously, WTF?

    From the article:

    Officials said police did not use any force on the man, who was in his early 30s.

    Yeah, except for going in with a fucking SWAT team. Totally not force.

  30. Count Potato

    “Teen Wears Prom Dress Honoring Trayvon Martin and The Black Lives Matter Movement”

    http://www.essence.com/culture/teen-prom-dress-trayvon-martin-black-lives-matter

    Warning: Auto-play video about being “woke”

    1. straffinrun

      “Woke for me means being outraged all the time.”

      No, really. She actually said that.

      1. Rhywun

        Nice unintentional summation of what the left is all about.

    2. Jefe Hayek

      She thicc tho

  31. commodious spittoon

    We have to tamp down on intergenerational wealth by transferring some of that money to politically connected firms. And I should be okay with that because it only hits icky wealthy people, not moral poor people like me.

    Not very persuasive.

  32. Juvenile Bluster

    The Yale Grad Student Union has called a “symbolic” hunger strike. They eat when they’re hungry.

    No, really.

    That’s what it says on the brochure.

    1. KibbledKristen

      Funny I always thought hunger strikes were for issues that were important enough to die for. If they’re not willing to even give up a couple meals for whatever it is they’re protesting, then why should I take it seriously?

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Because they’re really, really serious about it this time?

      2. UnCivilServant

        A proper hunger strike is a self-solving problem.

        Either they abandon it, or they stop complaining forever.

        1. KibbledKristen

          Or…they get what they want?

          1. commodious spittoon

            Attention and Facebook likes, mostly.

          2. KibbledKristen

            UCS only put two outcomes for a hunger strike: giving up or dying. The other one is the protester gets their demands met and the hunger strike is no longer necessary.

            My original point was that hunger strikes were done by people with a conviction so deep it was a matter of life & death to them. These Yale pussies have appropriated (to borrow from our SJW friends) this form of protest and watered it down to meaningless claptrap.

          3. commodious spittoon

            Well, he did say self-correcting. I’m thinking Yale wishes they’d “self-correct” right the fuck back home.

            I linked the story yesterday and called it relay fasting. Nonsense on stilts.

          4. UnCivilServant

            My point was that there is no reason to give in to the demands of hunger strikers. They will either give up or go away on their own.

        2. Hammercorps

          Something, something, riot?

    2. Count Potato

      You SF’ed the first link. Which I guess is appropriate.

        1. Count Potato

          Does anyone at college do any normal things anymore? These kids should be studying and drinking.

          1. and fornicating like rabbits on viagra

          2. Count Potato

            Or at least trying.

          3. WTF

            That will get a guy’s life ruined if she gets mad because you didn’t want her for your girlfriend.

          4. UnCivilServant

            Why are graduate students unionized?

          5. kbolino

            They wanted to limit the supply of graduate degrees to increase the market value of one?

            Who am I kidding, they’re not that smart.

          1. Hammercorps

            Doubt they’d do anything like at Berkeley. Texas added open-carry to their campuses after all.

    3. Chipwooder

      Bobby Sands scoffs – “Amateurs”

  33. Count Potato

    “A former student who allegedly had a threesome with two high school teachers in Louisiana testified in court on Tuesday about the steamy romp — and admitted secretly recording one of the women sleeping after sex as “proof” to show to his fellow football players.”

    nypost.com/2017/04/26/student-testifies-about-threesome-with-his-teachers/

    1. Count Potato

      Wait, is this a trend?

      “A lusty British teacher who organized an orgy with two male friends and a female teenage student has been banned from teaching for life.”

      https://heatst.com/life/married-teacher-mom-45-banned-from-teaching-for-life-after-prom-night-threesome-with-teen-girl/

      1. Chipwooder

        Obligatory complaint about “Where were these teachers when I was in high school?”

        Although I can only think of one teacher at my school I would have ever wanted to nail in the first place. It seemed that part of the job was being an old hag.

        Now, the principal’s secretary, she was a dish and a half. Total MILF back before it was a phrase. Blonde, mid-40s, perfect body, hair, nails, dressed to kill. Man did the male students ever collectively lust after her.

        1. I had a cute 20-something French teacher in HS. I would spend most of my time in class watching her bum move back ‘n’ forth as she wrote on the chalkboard.

          Plus so few students took French that it was a guaranteed pass class.

          1. Chipwooder

            I didn’t take Spanish, but we had a Spanish teacher who was very attractive. I believe she was only a few years out of college, couldn’t have been more than 25 or so.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I think we have our official Thicc Thursday entrant.

      1. 16 yoa me – would, would.

    3. Haybob

      One lesson we can learn from all of this is never marry a hot high school teacher.

    4. First: wood

      Second: It would take a few drinks

  34. Juvenile Bluster

    The other site posted on this yesterday. What the fuck happened to the ACLU? They really were once a respectable organization.

    ACLU sues a California Catholic hospital for not performing a transgender-related surgery

    1. Zero Sum Game

      Founded by commies, infested by modern-day proggies, and given an assload of money for no other reason than the left lost an election and were really butthurt about it. Money is power, and they just got a lot of it.

      1. straffinrun

        “The Other Site” isn’t that bad.

        1. Zero Sum Game

          Zing!

    2. WTF

      Next, ACLU sues kosher deli for not making a ham sandwich.

      1. Count Potato

        They’re pretty much there now.

    3. commodious spittoon

      There’s some fallout from lefty donors (supposedly–it’s twitter) complaining that ACLU denounced the “heckler’s veto” of Coulter’s speech.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      The guys running the DPRK News twitter account had a great take on that today.

      https://twitter.com/DPRK_News/status/857584297166950401

      1. Zero Sum Game

        Occasionally a journalist does not get that the account is a parody and quotes it.

        Chelsea Clinton fell for a Godfrey Elfwick tweet lately and that was also glorious.

        1. Juvenile Bluster

          Chelsea falling for a Godfrey Elfwick account is one of my favorite things I’ve ever seen on the internet. My wife came over to see if I was okay I was laughing so hard.

          1. KibbledKristen

            Link? Screen shot?

          2. KibbledKristen

            LOL…though good for her for not shame deleting that

          3. Count Potato

            The Clintons are like trailer trash, but with money.

          4. KibbledKristen

            The Capitol Hillbillies?

          5. WTF

            The Capitol Hillbillies?

            I sense a sitcom…

          6. Zero Sum Game

            It doesn’t matter if she had deleted it. I kept a screenshot the second I saw it and sent it off to archive. The Internet never forgets. 😉

          7. commodious spittoon

            Can confirm; saw it live. Her reaction tho.

      2. Chipwooder

        Is it not run by Ken White anymore?

        1. Juvenile Bluster

          He never ran it. It’s his Popehat partner Patrick and one other guy.

          1. Chipwooder

            Aha. My mistake.

    2. You know who else used scientific theories to bolster their ideas of population control…

      1. WTF

        Margaret Sanger?

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        Oliver Wendell Holmes?

      3. UnCivilServant

        Malthus?

    3. Rhywun

      Wow, that was eye-opening. What a cunt.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    Mistakes were made

    “This is a turning point for all of us at United and it signals a culture shift toward becoming a better, more customer-focused airline,” chief executive Oscar Munoz said in a statement that accompanied the release of the report on the April 9 incident at Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport. “Our customers should be at the center of everything we do and these changes are just the beginning of how we will earn back their trust.”

    “How was I supposed to know we shouldn’t summon the police to forcibly remove a seated, ticketed passenger? Who do I look like, some fucking hippy?”

  36. Ken Shultz

    It may only be game one of the Pittsburgh/Capitals series, but the winner of this slobber-knocker will probably win the Cup.

    Crosby has won the cup. Ovechkin has not. They’ll always be compared to each other, and Ovechkin wants his name on the cup.

    He doesn’t like playing in Crosby’s shadow. He doesn’t like playing cupless. Nobody wants to play hockey without a cup.

    1. *squints through my iron mask*

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      Fuck Sidney Crosby and fuck the fucking Penguins. Tanked one year and Bettman rigged the 2005 lottery and they… goddammit I hate them so much.

      1. Chipwooder

        This, 1000 times this. Crosby is an amazing player, but a cunt of gigantic proportions.

    3. KibbledKristen

      When I hear the name “Sidney Crosby”, all I can picture is a little kid throwing pickle jars on the floor of a grocery store, while his mom halfheartedly mumbles “No, Sidney. Be good.” while texting with her mommy group about the latest sippy cup innovations.

      1. BakedPenguin

        Actually, the kid waits until no mommies are looking, and then he body-checks another kid into a display stack of Vienna sausage.

    4. bacon-magic

      Goooooo BLUES♪! (Yes I know they are gonna get their asses kicked)

    5. EvilSheldon

      Guaranteed. The Pens/Caps series from last year was probably the best hockey played in my lifetime.

  37. Enough About Palin

    Portland’s 82nd Avenue parade cancellation causes widespread surprise, distress

    http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2017/04/portlands_82nd_ave_parade_canc.html#incart_river_home

    1. Count Potato

      “”You have seen how much power we have downtown and that the police cannot stop us from shutting down roads so please consider your decision wisely,” the email says.”

      So Portland and Berkeley have the same police force?

    2. Jake – Hey, what’s going on?
      Cop – Those bums won their court case so they’re marching today.
      Jake – What bums?
      Cop – The fucking Nazi anti-fa party.
      Elwood – Oregon nazis anti-fa.
      Jake – I hate Oregon nazis anti-fa.

      1. Private Chipperbot
    3. LT_Fish

      Hard to tell if this is the normal Rose Festival Parade or not. Both times I went with my ship, it was something like 2 weeks after Memorial Day (2011/2012) – good times. My sailors regularly got loaded for free (mostly the more conservative folks heading into town for Fleet week, etc). Plus, everyone likes cracker jacks.

  38. Back in ye olden days this would be a perfect opening for a (twisted) John joke:

    ‘Overly obese’ body starts funeral home fire

    Cincinnati Fire Chief Michael Washington said the fire started with a business-as-usual cremation.

    When fat in the body burned at a higher temperature than usual, the too-hot flames spread to nearby containers and parts of the surrounding room, he said.

    “We believe there were some combustible storage boxes that were too close to the ovens,” Washington said.

    1. KibbledKristen

      Note to self: gain a shitton of weight on death bed to cause postmortem awesomeness

    2. commodious spittoon

      He’s a firestarter, lifeless firestarter.

  39. KibbledKristen

    Text to squeeze: “I haz another mouse in the trap!” No response.
    Text to squeeze: “Lookit this chick using her boyfriend’s balls as a makeup sponge”. Immediate response.

    I think I lub him.

    1. Count Potato

      Apply your make-up with mouse balls?

  40. Mike Schmidt

    Oops!

    Asylum seekers fleeing U.S. finding cold comfort in Canadian courts

    Last year, a federal judge upheld a refugee tribunal rejection of Sri Lankan man who had abandoned a pending U.S. claim. The tribunal said the man’s decision demonstrated a “lack of seriousness” and was “inconsistent with the expected behavior” of someone who fears persecution in their own country.

    1. Hammercorps

      What, are they sending them all to Saskatchewan or something?

    1. What they didn’t allow comments on that?

      As I said on another thread it’s like ESPN is deliberately driving away viewers.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Ace has a post up hypothesizing that this move is ESPN cashing in on hardcore social justice types because soft, apolitical types are fickle and unreliable media consumers. I don’t know that I buy it, but it makes as much sense as ESPN accidentally on purpose tanking their brand, then doubling down.

        1. commodious spittoon

          I mean, unless there’s some Springtime for Hitler angle here. Running your franchise aground just seems, I don’t know, like bad business. But what do I know?

        2. Count Potato

          That might make sense if ESPN was a political network. But I don’t see much intersection between SJW and sports fans.

          1. commodious spittoon

            Except the one they’re attempting to forge. So either it’s an attempt to bring enlightenment to the benighted masses of sports-watching yokel hicks who love God, guns, Bud Light, and beating their wives, or they’re trying to rebrand and appeal to those crazy younguns with their social justice crusade and daddy’s money.

            It’s insane how badly they misread the market, in any event.

        3. Fatty Bolger

          Nah. It’s just a classic case of an overconfident company taking its customer base for granted.

    2. Mike Schmidt

      Revolution is the taste of honey

      and the revenge of the hive,

      there is never enough time to watch

      the swarms die. Revolution ain’t got sh–

      to do with facts. It is all faith!

      Revolution is not a sweet-tooth craving;

      It is a long fight clouded in fear; it is

      hundreds of hornets

      and family hunting you

  41. Remember the good old days? When a thief wore a mask to hide his identity?  Those days are gone.

    Yes, as through this world I’ve wandered
    I’ve seen lots of funny men;
    Some will rob you with a six-gun,
    And some with a fountain pen.

    /Woody Guthrie

    1. commodious spittoon

      They won’t even let animals come to visit.

      And super racist!

    2. UnCivilServant

      Everyone in Iceland is related. If you’re not one of the family, you’re not welcome.

      1. The Last American Hero

        The actually have a dating app/family tree app so you can double check if that prospective SO is actually your cousin.

    3. BakedPenguin

      I love the photo caption:

      “This is a cat, but not the one in question”

  42. Chipwooder

    Oh, this is absolutely priceless. From WaPo, here’s your headline:


    So what if protesters are paid? Critics of today’s mass movements want you to think compensated organizers aren’t sincere. But it’s not true.

    Excuse me while I wipe away several tears of helpless laughter.

    1. Hammercorps

      Shit, I’d protest if the pay was good enough. If I only had to show up for 1-2 hours and stand around looking bored.

      Maybe I should start a protestors union.

    2. Count Potato

      My favorite was when “protesters” for a $15 minimum wage were paid $7.

      1. UnCivilServant

        The people directly employed by my union are represented by a different union. So labor disputes between the union and the union get somewhat surreal.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Similar situation for one of the larger public employees unions here. And the union-“management” relationship is just as poisoned and hateful, and filled with the same complaints as any other unionized workplace.

    3. KibbledKristen

      Business: paying more would hurt our bottom line and cause us to lay off a bunch of people
      Union: your bottom line and ability to employ is not important!

      Union: paying protesters a living wage would hurt our bottom line and cause us to lay off a bunch of people!

    4. CZmacure

      The story of “Scabby” the inflatable rat.

      These rats are seen all around town with paid-to-“protest” non-union people manning them. I heckle them when I see them, lol.

  43. Private Chipperbot

    If I was CEO of my company, I would immediately fire anyone that ‘replied all’ on promotion or anniversary emails.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    On May 1 (“May Day”), when people take to the streets to protest for workers’ rights, we can expect corporate and anti-immigrant interests to try to discredit the protests by claiming that some of the protesters are being paid by labor unions. But don’t buy it. Although critics would have us believe that payment and principles are incompatible, they aren’t — and the belief that they are is toxic.

    But don’t you dare try to claim people who have worked for corporations can honestly and properly fulfill the duties of an appointed government post. They’re going to loot the Treasury!

  45. The Late P Brooks

    However, the allegations that even one participant is paid will benefit from a policy change immediately calls into question the legitimacy of a cause.

    “Trump’s taxes might go down! We cannot allow tax reform; we’ll fight to the death!”

    1. kbolino

      On a related note,

      We can’t lower the corporate income tax rate!

      Why not?

      Because the corporations won’t be paying enough!

      But we already have the highest corporate income tax in the free world.

      But the deficit will skyrocket!

      (Wow, deficits matter again?) Corporate income taxes are a small part of Federal revenue. And if corporations reverse their offshoring decisions due to lower tax rates, then it will alleviate the difference. Also, the government should spend less to solve the deficit, not try to take as much as possible.

      But Trump

      Right, I forgot, Secret Nazi President is the Most Corruptest Ever so we can’t do anything that makes sense because it might benefit him personally even though it will also benefit millions of other Americans.

  46. Raston Bot

    a review of Kolbe v. Hogan by Charles C.W. Cooke where the 4th Circuit competes with the 9th Circuit for least principled.

    https://www.americas1stfreedom.org/articles/2017/4/26/the-conspiracy-to-dismember-heller/

    Disgracefully, the 4th Circuit ignored all these prescriptions—which it was duty-bound to follow—electing instead to devise its own rule: that if a weapon is “most useful in military service,” it enjoys no constitutional protection.

    In the course of his opinion, Judge Robert King claimed that the AR-15 was “virtually indistinguishable” from the M-16 because it a) looks similar; b) can play host to some of the same aesthetic modifications; and c) can fire between 300 and 500 rounds per minute—or 30 rounds every 5 seconds. The first two claims are so shallow as to be worth ignoring entirely; the lattermost point, which formed the basis of the court’s argument, is flatly incorrect.

  47. KibbledKristen

    I wonder how Ron Swanson-y I’m allowed to be with my co workers’ kids? Is there a “never go full Ron Swanson” rule?

      1. Raston Bot

        be sure to give them lots of chocolate. parents love that.