Friday Morning Links

Before embarking on Links None Of You Fuckers Will Read, I wanted to take a second and note that we’re approaching 100,000 comments, of which 90,000 are good, 4,000 are really good, and 1,000 are hilarious. The remaining 5,000, well…. But the real point I wanted to make is that, despite the short time the site has been running and your overall response, the site just hums along with a remarkable paucity of Sciuridae, and this on a budget of $27 per month. All hail SP, who put all this together!

OK, breakfast would not be complete without links.

When you want trenchant, objective, and insightful political analysis, it’s always best to consult popular entertainers, all of whom still have their Tiger Beat magazines with that dreamy Barack on the cover and the pages stuck together. Apparently, we now have a bill which passed the House, is not really a significant change from the shit sandwich of laws we already have, and is almost certain to go nowhere. But it’s Armageddon! And of course, the New York Times, always a source of objectivity, gleefully predicts a Team Blue majority is imminent.

I’m not sure I have words for this. I’m not sure anyone does.

Shocked, SHOCKED, that Team Red is making a futile attempt at cutting off federal funds to a Team Blue lobbying group. Even more shocked that the ACLU wants to sue to keep the money flowing. Shocked, yes I am.

Remember the guy who would sit in the endzone at football games with a multicolored wig and a sign reading “John 3:16”? Apparently, his identity has been outed and it’s unlikely that he’ll be coming back.

Chapter 196 in the ongoing saga of “Why The Fuck Are We There?”

Just remember, be home by sundown to light the candles!

Comments

421 responses to “Friday Morning Links”

  1. JR Robble Dobbs

    Good Morning!

    1. Good morning!
      We oomphed the whole night through,
      Good morning!
      Good morning!
      To you! And you! And you!

    2. Lachowsky

      If your handle is a reference to Ronnie Dobbs, I want to compliment you on your excellent taste.

      Run Ronnie Run is one of my favorite movies.

      https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=%23&ved=0ahUKEwiftqKI9djTAhXD6YMKHZ8MDMgQxa8BCCIwAw&usg=AFQjCNF1sHlk2z9QIx28jtvfnGP_UlkifA&sig2=DtCT1ChIbH9rLZMN1Y-82Q

      1. hate_speech

        Ahhh….David Cross when he was funny. Those were good years. Sadly, we’ve both changed.

        1. Agent Cooper

          Well, you’ve grown in size the past few years.

  2. UnCivilServant

    Just remember, be home by sundown to light the candles!

    Unless there’s a power outage, or some celebration I’m unaware of… why?

    1. UnCivilServant

      Before embarking on Links None Of You Fuckers Will Read

      I read the links – I just didn’t follow any of them…

      1. Slammer

        There are links?

        1. UnCivilServant

          Well, we were planning to have sausages with breakfast, but we ran out.

          1. ElspethFlashman

            Mmm sausage.

          2. [insert sexist joke here]

          3. UnCivilServant

            [add remark about euphemisms]

          4. ElspethFlashman

            What? I think sausage is great.

          5. Rasilio

            You ran out of sausages so you came here to the sausage fest to get some more?

    2. Jefe Hayek

      Is it Hanukkah already???

      1. commodious spittoon

        If Christians can reschedule the birth of Christ, surely we won’t begrudge the Jews rescheduling their eight weeks of Christmas lite or whatever.

    3. Chafed

      To light Shabbos candles.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        l’hadlik ner.

  3. coax

    We’re in Afgan to protect the wonderful carpets and medicinal plants.

    1. Slammer

      And the Whigs

      1. PBRstreetgang

        Truly you are a Gentleman for making that joke.

    2. UnCivilServant

      I thought they made blankets! We wated our time!

    3. Pat

      What about the dogs?

      1. straffinrun

        That’s how they make those blankets?

      2. UnCivilServant

        Don’t hound us on that issue.

    4. Agent Cooper

      We’re all poppies!

  4. Slammer

    Thanks, SP!

    I’m a Proud Member of the Other 5000. I’m making a business card and everything

    1. Hammercorps

      He’s probably talking about the Poppy comments.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        There have been a lot more than 5000 of those.

        1. Pomp

          I’m Poppy.

  5. Private Chipperbot

    State police said Hernandez’s right middle finger had a fresh cut and there was blood on adjacent fingers. Besides the “John 3:16” written on his forehead, there also appeared to be a large circular blood mark on each of his feet.

    So he went out with a Christ complex? Huh.

  6. ‘Wonder Woman’ Spoilers: Gal Gadot Defends Heroine’s Skimpy Costume

    “In any case, there is such a misunderstanding of the concept. Feminism is about equality and choice and freedom. And the writers, Patty [Jenkins] and myself all figured that the best way to show that is to show Diana as having no awareness of social roles. She has no gender boundaries. To her, everyone is equal,” she added.

    In fact, Gadot said people should look up to her character as a feminist icon. Even though her character is a woman, she can still be someone that the men look up to.

    “We have seen so many male-driven stories, so the more strong, female narratives we have, the better,” she said. “I’m sure the movie will inspire girls, but you can’t empower women without empowering men, too. I hope Wonder Woman will be an icon for them, too.”

    1. Pat

      Whatever makes it easier for her to get into the slutty outfits is fine with me.

    2. The Elite Elite

      Nice try, DC. You aren’t tricking me to go see this movie by pretending WW’s outfit will be skimpy.

      1. Negroni Please

        DC movies are such utter trash that even a super hot Israeli model can’t make one watchable.
        #Marvelfanboi

        1. The Elite Elite

          It’s sad too. I think DC has better material to work with than Marvel, but DC is rushing to get to where Marvel took years to go, and they’re ruining their movies by doing so.

          1. ElspethFlashman

            I’m a Marvel fan, if only because the last DC one I saw was too much all over the place. Harley Quinn was just hot/crazy and seemed to have no real super powers. Wait, that made me sound like a nerd.

          2. Bobarian LMD

            I’m hoping that WW will be better.

            She was about the best thing out of that sad rip-off of ‘The Dark Knight Returns’

          3. Rasilio

            Um, that is kind of what both Harley and the Joker always were. Neither had superpowers it’s just that their insanity removed all concept of boundries of what was and was no acceptable behavior that they could pull off things no one else could because they never had that little voice in the back of their heads saying stop you can’t do this.

          4. Now who’s the nerd, nerd?

          5. Bobarian LMD

            That is exactly who Batman is too.

          6. The Last American Hero

            It should be noted that her lack of powers caused the villain to underestimate her, which allowed her to save the world.

        2. Hammercorps

          You mean the majority of superhero movies in general.

    3. Agent Cooper

      Why does anyone feel the need to defend skimpy outfits anyways?

      1. coax

        Not all truths are self evident?

      2. Rasilio

        Because they promote the male gaze supposedly

    4. commodious spittoon

      How many men do they think “look up” to Thor or Steve Rogers? Maybe Tony Stark, but he’s rich and snarky and Pepper Potts.

      1. The Last American Hero

        And by Pepper Potts, you of course mean Christine Everhart.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    We do NOT want to be predictable.

    Considering the psychological tendencies of your target audience, that’s just mean.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      SP has asked me on several occasions if there’s anyone in the Glibertariat who is not Aspy. I answered, “Of course. There’s… uhhhh… ummmm….” This answer is followed by much eye-rolling on her part, a physiological reaction that she has honed to a fine art through the course of our marriage.

      1. UnCivilServant

        Why? Does she have something against this personality trait? (I’m assuming she meant the behavioural tendency and not people with the clinical condition, which would be a smaller set)

        1. Old Man With Candy

          She is a keen observer of human behavior.

      2. straffinrun

        I’m not Aspy. Just prefer their company. They leave me the hell alone.

      3. The Elite Elite

        Isn’t the more appropriate question if there’s anyone here who isn’t Poppy?

        1. UnCivilServant

          me.

      4. Banjos

        Spectrum4Life!

        1. UnCivilServant

          Typically a condition like that is… unless you know some treatment they haven’t told anyone about.

      5. I took the aspie online test a few years ago – and apparently, to my disbelief, I don’t fall into the spectrum.

        I do have a nephew who does have Aspergers – and you can tell – his personality/social depth is very low. He can fake it for a few minutes but it falls apart after a few sentences. From there he goes on (and on and on) about his hobbies.

        Shockingly he works as a computer programmer now.

        1. Agent Cooper

          My brother is Aspy. I’m sure I’m near the spectrum, but I don’t think I’m within it. I have some traits that could be described as Aspy-ish.

      6. Suthenboy

        Oddly I am considered aspy yet I have very good social skills…at times. Sometimes people tell me I come across as too familiar to strangers which makes them uncomfortable. Other times, like last weekend, someone grinds my ass for being too robotic and emotionless. Both come in handy.

        Maybe I am just nuts. I hang out with you guys so….

        1. Hammercorps

          I’ve been told I’m pretty social, which I find weird, because I hate being around crowds of people.

          1. Hammercorps

            Maybe it’s my sense of humor which drove me here.

        2. Lachowsky

          I get along socially with people I can tolerate. I don’t know if that puts me on the spectrum or not, because the list of people I can tolerate is somewhat limited.

        3. Rasilio

          A lot of people confuse not being totally controlled by your emotions at every moment of the day to be defacto evidence of your being on the spectrum.

          I have been accused of being a robot or vulcan my entire life but the thing is I have no trouble understanding emotions nor do I have any trouble recognizing and responding to others emotional states and I even have emotions myself where I differ from most people is that my logical mind is nearly always in control of my reactions to those emotional impulses allowing me to respond calmly and rationally to situations that have others collapsing in despondant tears or shreiking in rage.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Overly emotional people want other people to be overly emotional too. They get off on it and it’s reassuring.

          2. AlexinCT

            Makes them feel less idiotic if everyone is an idiot like them?

    2. thrakkorzog

      I’ll have you know, several doctors diagnosed me as being Schizoid. It’s kind of like being on the Autism spectrum disorder, except I can totally read facial expressions, and go fuck yourself.

  8. Colorado to outlaw ‘rolling coal’ nuisance exhaust

    Rolling coal has caught on as a form of defiant cultural protest in the era of climate change and emissions-free vehicles. Drivers pass unsuspecting cyclists and electric car drivers on the road and unleash clouds of toxic black smoke. Coal rollers often post videos of themselves in the act.

    The Colorado bill would make rolling coal a traffic infraction and subject drivers to a $100 fine.

    Colorado will join New Jersey as the only states that have outlawed the practice. The Garden State banned coal rolling in 2015. A New Jersey citation carries a $5,000 fine.

    As many opponents of the bill have pointed out, altering a vehicle’s emissions system to release pollutants is already a federal crime. But traffic officers have to go “smoke school” to train in identifying and citing coal-rolling lawbreakers, so the federal law is rarely enforced.

    The Truth About Cars comments on this article are awful.

    1. UnCivilServant

      That is an awful name. I thought they used actual carbonized lumps to trip up cyclists.

      Boo.

      1. commodious spittoon

        “Riding dirty”.

    2. Tundra

      Jesus, is TTAC going the way of Jalopnik now, too?

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        I was at one of the aforementioned sites and a commenter was making the argument that all cars should be governed to 80 mph (highest legal limit in the US or some shit). Of course the drones in the comments just thought that was a wonderful idea. WTF has become of the rebellious car culture?

        1. Tundra

          They’ve been overwhelmed by the watermelons.

          1. AlexinCT

            Not just them..

    3. Agent Cooper

      I had a guy just do this to a cyclist in front of me. Quite the douchebag, but how does one really report it?

      1. thom

        This is really the kind of thing that should be handled by public shaming and belittlement.

    4. Suthenboy

      I have seen those guys. They are the definition of ‘douchebag’.

  9. Pat

    STEM Academy Administrator on Leave for Screaming at Pro-Life Teen

    The Dean of Academics and Student Life at Downingtown STEM Academy in Chester County has been placed on administrative leave after a video surfaced of him yelling at pro-life teenagers last Friday.

    1. Pomp

      Hoooboy, awkward

    2. UnCivilServant

      He wants to ensure his supply of STEM cells?

      1. Slammer

        Can I get a Swiss over here?

      2. *narrows gaze*

    3. Slammer

      I noticed how he immediately announced he was gay to the teens. Why?

      1. “Activate shield of Protected Class!”

        1. Pomp

          +

    4. “There was a horrendous image of a dead baby covered in blood. This image distracted me and I almost rear-ended the person in front of me.”

      A “dead baby,” you say?

      And this from a kid who was *criticizing* the protesters.

      Perhaps we need a law regulating what signs protesters can display within the view of distractable drivers.

      1. Just Say’n

        The law should, of course, only criminalize the ‘wrong signs’, held by the ‘wrong people’.

      2. Pat

        It always amuses me when pro-abortion people go off the rails when anti-abortion protesters use pictures of… you know… actual abortions in their literature. If it’s an indiscernible clump of cells and abortion is a celebration of women’s rights, why would you give a fuck about looking at the results of the procedure? Would they have the same reaction to an image of a bloody extracted tooth?

        Mind you, there is substantial overlap between those people and the ones who think a pack of cigarettes should be mandated by the government to contain a centerfold of hi-res pictures of dissected coal miners’ lungs.

        1. Rasilio

          –” Would they have the same reaction to an image of a bloody extracted tooth?”–

          Uh probably not your best example becuase yeah I would. I’d also have pretty much the same reaction to seeing pictures of removed tumors, black lung, or viscera from extreme violence on billboards too.

          1. AlexinCT

            Pussy..

            🙂

    5. Ken Shultz

      Yelling at students is awful . . . especially for reasons.

      I know they don’t paddle kids in school like they used to–because . . . that’s wrong. I mean, I got paddled in school and I was never quite the same. Before I was paddled, I used to go around and . . . well, okay, nothing really changed. I had a problem with authority, stupid grown ups, and stupid rules since forever. Everything they tried was ineffective and usually just persuaded me even more that their rules were arbitrary and their authority was an undeserved joke.

      But you can’t yell at kids. Everybody knows that. You might hurt their feelings, and there’s no way to get over that. Coaches shouldn’t yell at kids; adults shouldn’t yell at kids. People shouldn’t even be allowed to yell at their own kids. Once the yelling starts, feelings get hurt and people can start to cry . . . or, even worse, they feel like crying but don’t.

      Yelling at kids is the worst thing you can do.

      Someday, they may find that trauma is to a kid’s psychological health what early exposure to bacteria and parasites are to their immune systems. The high incidence of auto-immune disorders (asthma, colitis, allergies, etc.) in the developed world is often attributed to the Hygiene Hypotheses.

      “In medicine, the hygiene hypothesis . . . states a lack of early childhood exposure to infectious agents, symbiotic microorganisms (such as the gut flora or probiotics), and parasites increases susceptibility to allergic diseases by suppressing the natural development of the immune system. In particular, the lack of exposure is thought to lead to defects in the establishment of immune tolerance.”

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hygiene_hypothesis

      I suspect psychological health is probably developed through exposure to some trauma. At some point, you don’t just learn not to cry every time you cut your finger. You also learn how not to be traumatized by it. People yell at you, and you learn how to deal with it. Yelling at fuckface kids for supporting murdering babies and calling them fuckfaces may be traumatic–to kids who’ve never been properly exposed to emotional trauma. Don’t get any trauma early and often enough, and you probably end up with an emotional disorder.

      1. Pat

        You gotta click through the link on this one Ken. It’s not really about the kiddies’ feelings getting hurt.

        1. The Elite Elite

          Who clicks any of the links? I thought they were there for show?

          1. Pat

            You may optionally click on the links in the comments. You mustn’t ever click on the links in the article. There are standards to maintain.

        2. Ken Shultz

          That’s nothing. My hygiene hypothesis link goes to Turkish porn.

          1. AlexinCT

            WTF is Turkish porn? That some doods doing sheep?

      2. Lachowsky

        I know they don’t paddle kids in school like they used to–because . . .

        I went to school in the early nineties and was paddled regularly. Where I live, the schools still paddle kids.

        Before I was paddled, I used to go around and . . . well, okay, nothing really changed.

        I had the same experience. I go to the office, get a short lecture, get hit three times with a board, and go on about my day. Water off a ducks back, the principal didn’t have shit on my dad.

        I had a problem with authority, stupid grown ups, and stupid rules since forever. Everything they tried was ineffective and usually just persuaded me even more that their rules were arbitrary and their authority was an undeserved joke.

        Me too. It hasn’t gone away as I have grown up either.

        I hear people around me all the time argue that people don’t beat their kids enough and that is the problem with kids these days. I agree to a point, but you can’t beat the defiance out of every kid.

        Also, teaching kids right from wrong is more effective than beating kids for doing wrong. I do my damndest to teach my boy right from wrong and only resort to physical violence when there is damn good reason.

      3. Rasilio

        you sound like my wife in the first 4 paragraphs

      4. “Yelling at fuckface kids for supporting murdering babies”

        Strictly speaking the “fuckface kids” were *against* murdering babies.

        They were trying to exercise First Amendment rights, and an agent of the state tried to stop them.

        A worthwhile learning experience, I fully admit.

      5. Akira

        “Yelling at kids is the worst thing you can do.”

        I hated school and learning for most of my life, and I chalk this up to the experience of going to compulsory school every day and getting screamed at and humiliated by cranky bitch teachers. I consider myself damn lucky to have discovered the difference between self-guided learning and the loathsome exercises of public “education”.

    6. Raston Bot

      “you and Trump can go to hell”

      “shut up. you don’t have the right to talk to my students”

      “DO NOT TALK TO MY STUDENTS” while getting in their face.

      i wouldn’t say he was “acting immaturely” as the teen says.. i’d say he was verbally threatening them. that guy is unhinged.

      kudos to the two teens for maintaining their composure relative to the school employee.

    7. OneOut

      so the douchebag gets a paid vacation and some sjw street cred.

  10. Hey Mr. President, tear down the veil of secrecy surrounding unmasked NSA intercepts

    Circa has formally requested that the Trump administration declassify records showing how often government officials have searched National Security Agency intercepts for intelligence on U.S. presidential candidates, members of Congress, journalists, clergy, lawyers, federal judges and doctors and how often such Americans had their identities unmasked by the intelligence community after Barack Obama made it easier to do so in 2011.

    The request follows anexclusive Circa report on Wednesday that revealed that the Obama administration conducted more than 35,000 searches on NSA intercepts seeking information about Americans during the divisive 2016 election year.

    “The law makes President Trump the ultimate declassifying authority, and we believe the president can answer many troubling questions by declassifying this information, including how often First Amendment protected professionals had their privacy impacted by NSA intercepts and

    1. Suthenboy

      Classless, tinpot, banana republic, lowlife thug. One guess as to whom I refer.

      1. Urban Meyer?

        1. Walford

          O.H.

          1. I-O!!!!!!!

  11. The Late P Brooks

    HAIL, SP!

      1. straffinrun

        Motion approved.

        1. Hammercorps

          SP is Poppy?

          1. Pope Jimbo

            What do you think SP stands for? “Sexy Poppy”?

  12. Genital mutilation probe targets doctors’ daughters

    The federal government’s investigation into female genital mutilation has gripped a small Indian-Muslim community in fear as many of the group’s young girls have been pulled out of school, interrogated and medically checked for genital cutting in recent weeks.

    They include the daughters of the accused doctors at the center of the historic case.

    Multiple sources familiar with the case told the Free Press that in the wake of allegations that a local doctor cut the genitals of two Minnesota girls, the federal government and Child Protective Services have targeted several families in the Dawoodi Bohra community, which has long viewed female circumcision as a religious tradition. They say several young Bohra girls have been pulled out of class without their parents’ knowledge, questioned by CPS about genital mutilation and eventually subjected to medical exams to check for cutting.

    1. Slammer

      Genital mutilation probe.

      Grindcore album title

    2. ElspethFlashman

      Sounds unnecessarily invasive. Wonder why immigrants/refugees don’t trust the government agencies, eh?

    3. Juice

      Federal investigation? What double standard?

    4. Walford

      So it’s called an investigation when they do it, but when I do it, it’s a crime.

  13. Slammer

    Museum donors furious over celebs smoking at Met Gala

    “As a donor to the Met, I was so insulted to see all these ‘celebrities’ smoking and taking selfies of themselves in the bathroom. Mostly, it’s disrespectful to the art collection, which needs to be kept 100% smoke-free. I would honestly like to see these people fined by the city.”

    “Some of the celebs were smoking, some were vaping, most of them were lounging around like they were in their own living room so it made it impossible to get into the stalls. I mean, when you really need to go to the bathroom, you shouldn’t have to push P. Diddy out of the way to pee. The board member stormed right out and complained right away to Anna Wintour’s team. It is so disrespectful to the museum.”

    Another fashion source huffed of the this year’s gala: “Now it’s all thugs and drugs” — adding that besides the ciggies, some celebs were “vaping” with something more fragrant than tobacco.

    1. Pat

      “The trashy nouveau riche pop artists and TV celebrities we depend on to raise money aren’t treating the museum with its due reverence”

      Cry me a fucking river.

      1. wdalasio

        To be fair, I think it’s a little more complicated than that. My understanding is that this is part of a long-running feud. When Anna Winrtook over the Gala she made a push to recruit celebrities to increase the event’s star power. The thing is the Met’s big money/low celebrity donors get pushed out in the process (little attention from the museum, going in the back door to leave the red carpet to the celebrities). I’d be sympathetic. But until they tell Anna Wintour to pound sand, that Nikki Minaj and Jay Z can cover the museum’s costs this year, they shouldn’t be surprised at what they get.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          The solution is simple, stop donating.

          1. wdalasio

            My point exactly.

        2. wdalasio

          Gah! Damn phone editing! Should read “When Anna Wintour took….”

    2. mr simple

      Some people were never meant to have money.

  14. Gulbuddin Hekmatyar – the one guy I would have killed on the spot, had I ever seen him when I was in Afghanistan. If I didn’t have responsibilities and a family, I would be on the next plane over to Kabul to try and strangle that asshole with my bare hands.

    He is one evil bastard. Killing the innocent seems to be his favorite pastime.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      The Lightworker approved the deal allowing for his return and full immunity back in September.

      LEGACY!

      1. #@$& you, Obama!

        1. Old Man With Candy

          That’s racist.

          1. Tundra

            And homophobic.

          2. Just Say’n

            I learned that yesterday

    2. Hammercorps

      Holy shit, he’s still alive?

    3. The Last American Hero

      Isn’t he like the 9 of clubs on the deck of 52 playing cards? Oh, wait, wrong ill-conceived protracted military quagmire.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Feminism is about equality and choice and freedom.

    *outright, prolonged laughter*

    1. The Elite Elite

      SEXIST PIG!

      1. UnCivilServant

        That response is such a boar.

        1. Tundra

          Now, let’s not go hogging all the comments, UCS.

          1. Old Man With Candy

            Tusk, tusk.

          2. UnCivilServant

            I’m sorry, I’m just bristling with energy this morning.

          3. Old Man With Candy

            I’m bacon you to stop this.

          4. straffinrun

            Then clean your room. It’s a sty.

          5. Bobarian LMD

            That’s it fellas, just ham it up.

          6. Slammer

            Stop sow-ing discord

          7. Pope Jimbo

            Ahem. You reap what you sow.

          8. Hammercorps

            That’s total hogwash.

    2. PieInTheSKy

      I don’t think some of those words mean what they think they mean. But worry not, they will properly redefine them for everyone.

  16. Pat

    “White Devils”—FBI Records Show Muhammad Ali’s Racist Mosque Tirades as Family Uses his Fame to End Racial, Religious Profiling

    As a Nation of Islam heavyweight, boxing legend Muhammad Ali referred to Caucasians as “white devils” and “crackers” and told mosque worshipers that “black women have the best sons and daughters in the world,” according to Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) records obtained by Judicial Watch. Known as Cassius Clay before converting to Islam, Ali also said “programs of integration are useless,” that blacks want separation not integration and that the 1964 Civil Rights Act was a “swindle.” The three-time heavyweight champion also told Muslims during a mosque delivery that “the so-called Negro is the original man and is superior to the white devil” and that he’d rather be with his own people than “blue-eyed devil white people.”

    1. AceDroman

      “His momma called him Clay, so I’m gonna call him Clay”

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Nice reference.

    2. Private Chipperbot
    3. What did he think of integrated boxing tournaments?

    4. robc

      the 1964 Civil Rights Act was a “swindle.”

      He got at least one thing right.

    5. Lachowsky

      Explaining why he believed all white men were also ‘the devil’, Ali said: ‘I’ve heard Elijah Muhammad say that many white people mean right and in their heart want to do right. But if 10,000 rattle snakes were coming down the aisle right there and I had a door I could shut, and one thousands of those snakes meant right, they didn’t want to bite me and I knew they were good. Should I let those rattle snakes come down, hoping those one thousand get together and form a shield? Or should I close the door and stay safe?’

    6. Brett L

      So Muhammed Ali was a good Nation of Islam believer who accurately said the same things his teachers said to him? What is it with this new trend of trying to revise history to meet today’s standard? The NOI of the 1950s and 1960s was basically a separatist movement that advocated protecting blacks from oppression by any and all means. Is it weird that Muhammed Ali converted to this belief system and also believed in black separatism?

    7. mr simple

      Huh, no comments section, but there is a donation button. It’s just another misleading ploy to take people’s money that the SPLC would be proud of. It is no secret that he was a firebrand in his youth. All of the stories I saw after his death mentioned this, as well as articles in prior years such as when he was called athlete of the century in 1999, yet the call for money you linked to acted like they had to fight the government to get this new information. It is also well documented that he left the NoI and a renounced those beliefs, the NoI and the leader who preached that message. Is it really that crazy that a young black man in the south in the 60s would be taken in by that kind of message? Are we not allowed to move on from beliefs we held when we were young? Is Ali such a threat that we have to smear his name?

      1. I didn’t click the link…they’re acting like his NOI beliefs are some kind of revelation? Screw that, it’s no revelation.

      2. Pat

        the call for money you linked to acted like they had to fight the government to get this new information.

        That particular information is new. It came from previously unreleased FBI records obtained from a FOIA request, which is actually all that Judicial Watch does.

        If as you say all of this information was already known then I’m not sure why you think publishing it constitutes a “smear”, or, even stranger, why you think it is “misleading”.

        But in any case, please feel free to continue shitting your pants because an organization that sues the government for transparency was mean to one of your sports idols.

    1. UnCivilServant

      I don’t get it.

    2. Old Man With Candy

      Or a stroke of genius. He has everyone talking about it, which in my mind is a sign of successful marketing.

    3. PieInTheSKy

      1000 for ugly basketball shoes seems reasonable to me

      1. UnCivilServant

        Yen? Bolivars? Zimbabwe Dollars?

        1. PieInTheSKy

          the ZO2 Prime will retail for $495 because Big Baller Brand “is aiming for Lonzo’s signature sneaker to tap into a new market—above the athletic performance kicks from the likes of Nike, Jordan, Adidas and Under Armour, but below the high-end designer shoes of Gucci, Prada or Louis Vuitton.”

          ESPN’s Darren Rovell added that the price for the ZO2 Prime increases to $695 for men’s sizes 14 and 15.

          Big Baller Brand has also made a limited-edition Z02 WET that comes personally autographed by Lonzo Ball in a clear acrylic case with white LED lights. The ZO2 WET retails for $995.

          You can get a cheaper version as well like the paupers

          1. UnCivilServant

            Are they comfortable? How long do they take to wear out?

          2. Agent Cooper

            You ask the dumbest questions!

      2. straffinrun

        Are there any basketball shoes today aren’t hideous?

        1. Lachowsky

          chuck taylors

  17. Pat

    French election: Macron takes action over offshore claims

    The frontrunner in the race for the French presidency, Emmanuel Macron, has filed a lawsuit over online rumours that he has a secret bank account in the Caribbean.

    1. UnCivilServant

      “It’s not in the Carribean. It’s in Switzerland so I can drive over.”

      1. *whistles innocently*

      2. Brett L

        More like, “I prefer to think of Panama as on the Gulf of Mexico, not the Caribbean sea, and therefore is not IN the Caribbean.”

        1. UnCivilServant

          Except, it’s the gulf of Mexico bounded by the Yucatan and Florida?

          1. UnCivilServant

            *isn’t

          2. Brett L

            I happen to agree with you. But I’m not lying about not having foreign accounts. I’m really too poor to.

    2. kbolino

      He’s a former investment banker, Socialist, pro-EU technocrat, and French policitian. The question isn’t “does he have a foreign bank account”, it’s “how many foreign bank accounts does he have?”

    3. PieInTheSKy

      Do the frenchies have their own fiscal paradise islands or are they depended upon the ones of the filthy english?

      1. leonadasiv

        I belove it’s called St Helena.

      2. Just Say’n

        Monaco?

        1. Dr Mossy Lawn

          No, Monaco’s protections specifically exempt French nationals. It is why they let them be “independent”.

    4. Agent Cooper

      I would be disappointed if my politician of choice didn’t have a secret Caribbean bank account. I mean, how stupid would you have to be not to?

  18. Pope Jimbo

    Of course he was acquitted.

    And why shouldn’t the jurors let this hero walk free? After all he did the poor girl a favor by punching her twice while she was cuffed.

    Defense attorney Peter Wold said that his client acted in self-defense. Wold also used a derogatory term to compare the girl to people with severe mental disabilities.

    “They probably gave her the best lesson she’s benefited from in a long time,” Wold said of Soucheray and his partner, officer Chris Rhoades. “They didn’t enable her to manipulate the situation.”

    “It was like that,” Wold said, snapping his fingers. “She turned into a good young woman. … She said she was sorry.”

    1. Pat

      The beatings will continue until morale improves.

    2. Pope Jimbo

      I’m also a bit upset that it seems like “retard” is becoming a word that is double-plus ungood.

      I agree that calling someone who is mentally handicapped a retard is a very unkind thing to do. Calling someone who should know better a tard is fine.

      Also, if retard does get added to the same class of PC words like the n-word, does that mean only the mentally handicapped will be be able to use it? “What up, my tard?”

      1. Pat

        I should have outgrown calling my friends “retard” and “faggot” about 15 years ago, but I still do it – in at least some small part just because of the speech police.

        1. Just Say’n

          If you can’t make heinous remarks about your friends, then how would they know that you’re friends? I find ‘little bitch’ to be a good term of endearment

      2. Juice

        Retarded used to be the nice word that replaced other words like moron or imbecile. It wasn’t originally meant to be an insult.

        1. All euphemisms eventually become dysphemisms. No matter what you call a bad or disfavored (as in blackness) thing, it’s still bad or disfavored. It’s a tail-chasing process, coming up with new words, and sometimes the circle is completed but is likely headed for another go-round. I don’t know what the chances are that’ll happen with stupid, but it might.

          People now snicker when “retard” (2nd syllable stressed) is used in anything other than the mental sense. I explained to my students for the chromatography experiment this week that the R in R-sub-f means retention or retardation, think I heard a little snicker on that last bit, which word the book didn’t use.

          1. Akira

            I think “retard” will soon be just another generic insult. It’s mostly a psychiatric term right now, but so were “moron”, “idiot”, and “imbecile” in decades past. Heck, I’ve heard mental health professionals call people retards as an insult.

  19. straffinrun

    Obama Endorses Emmanuel Macron For President Of France
    Ryan: We Will Not Falter, We Will Replace Obamacare Today
    Olbermann To Foreign Journalists: Please Ask Donald Trump How Crazy He Is
    Kevin McCarthy: Nobody Is Going To Have Their Health Care Taken Away
    Protesters Yell “Shame,” Ring Bell As Members Of Congress Exit Capitol Building

    All feature videos on RCP tonight. I…I…can’t deal…It’s just too much. *Sobs*

    1. Gadfly

      If Obama is endorsing Macron, that’s a sign of trouble for him.

  20. Pope Jimbo

    I don’t know what this gal is arguing for.

    Mostly I think it is that opiod drugs are bad. However, she sure seems to make a good case for them when she talks about having 15 years of horrible pain and the fact that even after a surgery she still has so much pain that weaning herself off the drugs has:

    As a current graduate student it is incredibly hard to adjust to this change in my life while still struggling with chronic pain. My academic work has suffered since I started the tapering process in December. However, I am committed to getting opiates out of my life, as I do not want to become a statistic.

    Why suffer if the meds are managing the pain? Why would you feel bad about needing drugs to manage pain? It isn’t a moral failing.

    1. UnCivilServant

      Because “drugs are bad Mmkay.”

    2. kbolino

      Eh, there are physical side effects to prolonged opioid use, and in my experience, people who depend on them end up with a tenuous grip on sanity. It’s not a moral failing to stay on them but it’s also hard to respect someone who you might charitably describe as “foggy most of the time”.

      1. OneOut

        Would she hsve preferred to be in pain all those years ? She had a choice and is now blaming the doctors for that choice she made.

        Suboxone is a pain free medicine that alllows a motivated opiod dependent person to withdraw pain free.

  21. KibbledKristen

    Listen, if you change the time of the links, I’m not renewing my subscription!

    1. UnCivilServant

      Wait, did they threaten to change the time?

      1. KibbledKristen

        Jeezus. Do I have to fucking do everything?

        Here’s our plot: you NEVER know who’s going to do the Links. And we may even shift the times around. We do NOT want to be predictable.

        1. UnCivilServant

          I’m not finding that text anywhere.

          1. UnCivilServant

            Oh, it’s on the outside of the page.

          2. Certified Public Asshat

            It’s the Fist principle.

        2. Pat

          I think he meant “changing the time” in the “UTC adding a leap second to the year” sense.

          1. Pat

            Or maybe I was wrong. The joke still landed.

          2. Old Man With Candy

            No, more in the sense of dividing by sqrt(1-(v/c)^2).

  22. Pope Jimbo

    I’m on the fence about this story.

    If you are going to engage in criminal activity, I don’t have a lot of sympathy when you run into an armed home owner. On the other hand they were absolutely no danger to the home owner at the time (driving away in escape car).

    I’m going to side with the home owner though in this case because of the fact that the picture they ran of the wanna-bee burglar is terrible. Can’t you find one pic of him that doesn’t make him look like a total punk?

    1. straffinrun

      “No one is being held accountable for my son being shot and killed,” Tracy McCabe said in Watonwan County District Court as a judge accepted the agreement Tuesday.

      Grieving mother and I don’t want to pile on, but who raised him?

      1. mr simple

        Yeah, I get that she is rightfully upset, but every sentence made me lose more sympathy for her.

    2. Brett L

      Reckless discharge of a firearm in a populated area should be a sufficient charge. Although, home owner should have a case that hitting what you aim at isn’t reckless. In a libertopia, the case would center on whether the homeowner had selected an appropriate load to minimize ricochet or overpenetration.

      1. The Last American Hero

        In Libertopia (aka Somalia), the homeowner would have used an RPG and the issue would be settled.

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      With all due respect to the fleeing dead guy, fuck him and good riddance.

    4. Chipwooder

      Commit home invasions, risk getting shot by homeowner. Them’s the risks.

    5. OneOut

      In Pasadena Tx a few years sgo a man called 911 saying that 2 men were robbing his next door neighbor’s house who was out of town. He told the dispatcher that if they didn’t get an officer on the scene before the robbers left that he was going to shoot them if they tried to leave. On the audio you could hear a shotgun being racked. 911 was begging him not to go outside over and over. The old man said there they go, I’m not going to let them leave Im goimg to shoot them and agaim 911 begged him to stay inside. He went outside a killed them both in the front yard. He claimed that when he told them to stop they turned and began to come toeards him and he killed them in self defense. Forensics said they were shot in the back iin his neighbors yard.

      The case was a big deal and the audio was all over local Houston news and radio.

      The case was no billed and never even went to trial.

  23. Better alone than subservient

    It is quite tragic that the men that the women I know, including myself, try to give their hearts to end up being incapable of honest reciprocation. If it were just a question of incompatibility, it would be easier to swallow, but often you are robbed of your sense of self-worth and are reduced to being seen as obsessive.

    “I get very immersed when I work,” someone I was crushing on recently offered as an excuse for his textual unavailability. “So do I. That’s part of what being an artist is about,” I said. “But I’m just a little tired of men not being able to reciprocate in any way because they think what they do is somehow more important than what I do, as if I do nothing, as if I’m just sitting around waiting to be attended to,” I added, ending all possibility of future discourse.

    I could say that my feminism often gets in the way of acting upon either love or lust, but it also protects me from the insufficiencies of the men in question. I would always choose being alone and happy than to have my needs be made subservient to another’s, to someone I know I will soon resent.

    1. Pat

      I could say that my feminism often gets in the way of acting upon either love or lust, but it also protects me from the insufficiencies of the men in question.

      Those grapes were sour anyway.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Sounds like she’s trying to talk herself into liking another kind of fruit. Something without nuts.

    2. leonadasiv

      but it also protects me

      It’s protecting someone, that’s for sure.

    3. Private Chipperbot

      I would always choose being alone and happy than to have my needs be made subservient to another’s,

      Yeesh. It’s a two way street. Enjoy being an old shrew.

      1. Agent Cooper

        Wait a minute, maybe she’s actually a libertarian?!?

    4. straffinrun

      I’ve become more attentive to all the many minority genders and exploited subgroups that feminism has to grow more accommodating of, bringing them into the fold as a collective that’s intersected by race, gender, caste, and class, as we rage against the patriarchal, capitalist machine that must be held responsible and accountable for our continuing oppression.

      She must be fun at parties.

      1. kbolino

        Even Marx was honest enough to admit that capitalism had done away with caste (although he alleged it replaced caste with class). These idiots don’t even know what words mean.

    5. Agent Cooper

      “someone I was crushing on recently offered as an excuse for his textual unavailability.”

      Run away guys! Run away!

    6. commodious spittoon

      “None of the men I date want to commit. What’s wrong with all of them?”

    7. Rasilio

      Actually we should be thanking her for removing herself from the dating pool

      Can you imagine having to put up with someone who freaks out because you didn’t respond to her texts while you were at work?

      1. Tundra

        Can you imagine having to put up with someone who freaks out because you didn’t respond to her texts while you were at work?

        I don’t have to. I can simply recall all of my brother’s girlfriends and his awful ex-wife.

        Some guys should really just never be allowed to choose their own mates.

        1. AlexinCT

          Guys can do a lot of stupid shit if the pu$$y is good man..

      2. commodious spittoon

        My SIL is in what I can only describe as a bromance for chicks (a fraumance?) with a woman who is super insecure like that. If my SIL doesn’t respond within a couple hours, which isn’t unreasonable given toddler son, a household to run, and a part-time job, this person immediately assumes she’s being ghosted and starts making passive-aggressive self-deprecating apologies for being such a burden.

  24. Pat

    There are diseases hidden in ice, and they are waking up

    Long-dormant bacteria and viruses, trapped in ice and permafrost for centuries, are reviving as Earth’s climate warms

    When future archaeologists excavate the remains of our present earth, do you reckon they will view John Carpenter’s The Thing as a religious prophecy?

    1. UnCivilServant

      What are the odds that these ancient organisms have developed a reseistance to any of the anti-microbal drugs for their category we’ve developed?

      Also, what are the odds they can even make the jump to threatening humans? We weren’t around when they got trapped and are not natively a host species. (If the organisms even infect, as not all microbes are infectious)

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Straffin, you are starting to think like a Nihonjin. Shared family guilt for the sins of one fuckup. 😉

        Why not use the Amazon logic here too?

        The do-gooders are always telling us that we can’t log the Amazon basin because we could be chopping down some plant that will cure cancer or have some other crazy wonderful benefit.

        In this case, why can’t the pro-warming people ask why we would want to stop global warming and the release of some (as yet unknown) bacteria that will cure cancer, etc.?

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Fuck, bad commenting practice!

          That first line was going to be a reply to Straffin calling out punk’s mom. Then I replied on the bacteria.

          1. UnCivilServant

            okay, that’s less confusing.

          2. straffinrun

            5001?

        2. UnCivilServant

          Straffin?

          1. Tundra

            *points*

            He’s the stinky one sitting by the fire.

          2. straffinrun

            AntiFa has a good dental plan. Don’t judge me.

          3. Pope Jimbo

            And surrounded by sticky kodomotachi.

            Or have you escaped from your camping trip Straffin?

          4. straffinrun

            Made it back to the big city. Took a shower and the run off made pretty rainbow colors.

    2. kbolino

      If the bacteria was stuck in ice for centuries, wouldn’t it be long dead at this point?

      1. UnCivilServant

        Not necessarily. Many kinds of bacteria can go into a hardened, dormant state that can survive very adverse conditions for prolonged periods.

        Whether they can survive indefinately is unknown, but it would not be surprising.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Are there any basketball shoes today aren’t hideous?

    I like the Clyde.

    1. straffinrun

      Granted those are a wee bit better than these.

  26. Juvenile Bluster

    Four California students sue after they’re suspended for “liking” and commenting on an apparently racist Instagram post.

    WaPo’s totally not leading current headline: “Does the First Amendment Protect Liking a Racist Instagram Post? Some Calif. Students Think it Does”

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      wtf

      The lawsuit alleged that the plaintiffs, all juniors, were wrongfully suspended by the school in late-March after some of their classmates took screenshots of the Instagram posts and reported them to administrators.

      When the students returned on March 30, the lawsuit said, administrators forced them to march through the school while their peers tormented them.

      “School administrators allowed the student body to hurl obscenities, scream profanities, and jeer at the Plaintiffs and the other suspended students, who were all not allowed to leave what the school considered an act of ‘atonement’ but was rather a thinly veiled form of public shaming,” the lawsuit said.

      Eventually, a parent stepped in and convinced administrators to stop the event, which was described in the complaint as a “healing” exercise.

      Later the same day, they attended a “voluntary restorative justice session” organized by a community group. A few hundred students and parents gathered outside to protest. When the session came to a close, the demonstration grew tense, prompting the plaintiffs’ parents to ask for a police escort out, according to the complaint.

      As two of the plaintiffs were leaving, an incensed demonstrator struck both of them in the head, leaving one of them with a broken nose and the other with cuts and bruises, the lawsuit alleged.

      1. Pat

        They should have showed up to the event wearing these.

      2. kbolino

        What did sarcasmic used to say? We’re two steps out of the cave, with fancy toys…

      3. Agent Cooper

        their classmates took screenshots of the Instagram posts and reported them to administrators.

        The Stasi is alive and well.

        1. UnCivilServant

          A former Stasi agent said they wished they’d had the information gathering ability we do today.

          1. Floridaman

            Merkel?

        2. Lachowsky

          Why do Stasi agents always work in groups of three?

          One who can write, one who can read, one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals

      4. Jefe Hayek

        Look at all the good those struggle sessions did for China…

      5. Pomp

        SHAME. SHAME. SHAME. *ding ding* SHAME. *ding*

      6. FreeSociety

        “School administrators allowed the student body to hurl obscenities, scream profanities, and jeer at the Plaintiffs and the other suspended students, who were all not allowed to leave what the school considered an act of ‘atonement’ but was rather a thinly veiled form of public shaming,” the lawsuit said.

        Eventually, a parent stepped in and convinced administrators to stop the event, which was described in the complaint as a “healing” exercise.

        How very North Korean.

        1. And the rationale for limiting student speech in high school is to avoid disruption.

          So they’re censoring speech in such way as to *increase* the disruption?

          I’d love to see how they explain that to the judge.

  27. Needs moar labelzzzzzz

    Cartoonists ‘first victims’ of crackdowns on press

    The Cartooning for Peace group said cartoonists were increasingly becoming the victims of repressive crackdowns on free speech.

    The watchdog’s first annual global report also documents attacks on freedom of expression in Kenya, Venezuela, Egypt, Malaysia, Jordan, Ecuador and Burkina Faso.

    Its founder, the French cartoonist Plantu — who set up the group a decade ago with former United Nations chief Kofi Annan — told AFP that his peers were in danger across the globe.

    Cartoonists were the canary in the mineshaft, he said, “often the first to be threatened” by authoritarian governments.

    1. commodious spittoon

      I guess that explains why Trump had all those cartoonists detained.

  28. Certified Public Asshat

    Maryland insurers request 38.5 percent rate increase for individual health plans

    I haven’t really looked too much into the American Healthcare Act (I assume it also sucks) but the above is still what we have now.

    1. PieInTheSKy

      Well this is what you get for refusing single payer like us civilized Europeans, smarter, stronger, better looking

    2. kbolino

      Evergreen had to drop out of the individual marketplace in 2017 amid financial distress. The carrier plans to return for the 2018 cycle after being acquired and becoming a for-profit company.

      In the olden days when I still commented on Slashdot, I got into a rather lengthy back-and-forth with someone who insisted that nonprofit was the better way to run a business. Oops.

      1. thom

        It’s a better way to run some businesses, but you still have to run it as a business. And you still have to have a positive net income.

        1. kbolino

          Yeah, I don’t have a problem with nonprofits. But most businesses can’t work that way.

    3. Pomp

      Expect that shit to get memory-holed tout suite.

    4. Juice

      That’s after jacking them up 200-300% in 2014 and 25% in 2015.

  29. Rufus the Monocled

    YOU GRADE THE COMMENTS?

    Oh, the pressure.

    Do you stick them all over the house?

    1. Something is sticky at SF’s house, and it ain’t comments.

    2. Old Man With Candy

      D+

      1. Tundra

        Did you factor in the Canada handicap?

        1. UnCivilServant

          Oh dear: F–

        2. Old Man With Candy

          I grade on the curve.

          1. UnCivilServant

            I’m philosophically opposed to grading curves because it’s inherently anti-meritocratic. The aptitudes of the other people who happen to be in the class with you should have no bearing on the record of whether or not you understand the material. Grades should be individual and objective.

          2. Hammercorps

            I agree. I’m sick of people getting good marks just because of my brilliant “I’m Poppy” comments.

          3. leonadasiv

            I was a bit if a curve breaker in highschool. Had one teacher who gave 100 to his top 8 scores on every test. I ended with a 102%. Then I went to college, and things were considerably more difficult. I became much more middle of the road.

          4. UnCivilServant

            I was actively told not to participate or attempt to answer questions – by the teachers.

          5. AlexinCT

            Was it because you too liked to snark the idiots in class with you? I mean the teachers..

          6. robc

            What is the purpose of grades?

            There are two possibilities, one is to provide some object standard. The other is to rank the students.

            At the first grades fail horribly. For the second they work fine.

            It is a rating vs ranking argument.

            My favorite curve method was done by my Dynamics professor. The mean was the B/C borderline and a letter grade was 1 standard deviation.

            A=1+ standard deviation above mean
            B=Above mean
            C= below mean
            D=1+ SD below mean
            F=2+ SD below mean.

            With an infinite number of students and a normal distribution, it leads to a 2.48 class GPA.

          7. UnCivilServant

            In a sample of 30 out of sixteen hundred or a few thousand, you’re not going to get a large enough size to have your neat, orderly distribution. What you will get are people who get graded higher than they would because they were in a class with dunces or get graded lower than they would becuase they ended up with a cluster of experts.

            How someone compares to the other students is practically worthless in assessing if they know what they’re supposed to know when they finish a curriculum.

          8. Rasilio

            I thought we got rid of the curves when thicc thursdays went away?

  30. PieInTheSKy

    “France will be led by a woman – it will be either me or Mrs Merkel.”

    – Marine Le Pen, as quoted by Brendan O’Neill.

    Well I would say it is gonna be a interesting election but they never are really … Although, irrespective of the long term results, the reactions if le pen wins will be priceless (she defiantly won’t win though)

    1. The Elite Elite

      Will she humbly win instead?

      *ducks*

  31. Rufus the Monocled

    Seriously, what in the Scott’s fertilizing hell is up with talk show hosts suddenly turning to political punditry?

    1. FreeSociety

      Two things; the politicization of everything and the left’s complete inability to tolerate the existence of differing beliefs.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    “Does the First Amendment Protect Liking a Racist Instagram Post? Some Calif. Students Think it Does”

    The beauty of the 1A is its protection of both the stupid and the willfully ignorant.

    1. leonadasiv

      The important question it’s it the 1A protects asking if the 1A protects liking and commenting on a racist post.

      Seriously tho, the left has gone so far up it’s ass on this hate speach stuff. I hope it blows up completely in their face. By reading the 1A how could you intelligently ask that question?

  33. Rufus the Monocled

    Curious, if premiums sky rocketed and the plans suck as oft I hear and read for most people (never mind the whole law is a piece of largely crap) wouldn’t most of their audiences been negatively affected by it. Meaning, I’m wondering if there are people in the audience who probably don’t like what the hosts are doing?

  34. What do Bigfoot and moderate Republicans have in common?

    We’re told of these centrist leading lights of the Grand Old Party, people who listen to experts and weigh evidence, who are serious and sane and even sometimes inclined toward making PowerPoint presentations. They emphasize substance over sloganeering, country over party.

    They are reasonable, rational, sensible. Or so we like to tell ourselves.

    But at the point that they vote to remake 18 percent of the economy without hearings, without expert testimony, without a public text of a bill even a day before their vote, without waiting for an estimate of either the budgetary or human cost of their handiwork — well, at that point, they lose any claim to “seriousness” or “moderation.”

    If there’s one thing to take away from Thursday’s health-care vote, it’s this: Next time you think these Moderate Republicans are going to save the United States from doing something catastrophically stupid, constructed from the whims of ideologue colleagues, disabuse yourself of the notion.

    Immediately and forever.

    something pot kettle something black

    1. Brett L

      They both like raping the public?

      1. straffinrun

        The rape of the Locke?

    2. Slammer

      But at the point that they vote to remake 18 percent of the economy without hearings, without expert testimony, without a public text of a bill even a day before their vote, without waiting for an estimate of either the budgetary or human cost of their handiwork — well, at that point, they lose any claim to “seriousness” or “moderation.”

      Anyone who would write that has absolutely no sense of shame, or decency.

      1. kbolino

        Unless they were talking about the ACA.

    3. Slammer

      STEVE SMITH HAVE TO RAPE IT TO FIND OUT WHAT’S IN IT

    4. kbolino

      No, that’s a goddamn black hole calling a light-gray kettle black.

    5. FreeSociety

      Democrat memories are notoriously short when it comes to anything other than victimology.

    6. They’re nearly invisible but people occasionally hear noises some believe are coming from them?

      They’re discussed only on late night radio talk shows?

      They have big feet but leave no prints?

      They were big in Minnesota?

      They like pie?

  35. Juvenile Bluster

    The economy added 211,000 jobs in April, and the unemployment rate fell to 4.4%

    (and the work force participation rate fell from 63.0% to 62.9%. We’ll see if the media finally starts mentioning that part of it)

    1. Brett L

      Every third eligible person is sitting at home not working? Can you imagine explaining to someone in 1917 how rich we’d be? Or 1817?

      1. Creaking along on the backs of others.

        I have a friend who lives on disability. His parents are wealthy enough that they bought him a small condo. So he gets free medical care, some kind of government check, and spends all days watching TV, surfing the web, and curating his music collection. His disability? Anxiety and migraine headaches.

        He used to be a manager at a retail chain; and he’s a “smart” and very clever guy. But he’s basically living in a self-created prison. I would have gone insane.

        1. Tundra

          There is an entire family in my neighborhood that doesn’t work. I have no idea how they could possibly all be ‘disabled’, but they’ve clearly gamed the system quite well.

          Fuckers.

          1. FreeSociety

            Former friend of mine and his live in girlfriend have two kids together, but refuse to get married because the de facto wife won’t qualify for all the single mom subsidies. To add insult to injury, because the kids are under a certain age they pay some pittily small amount for the utility bills each month and the power company and gas company are forbidden by law from turning off their service. The system is built for people like this.

          2. Pomp

            No longer a friend, ‘eh?

          3. FreeSociety

            I avoid people that disgust me.

      2. UnCivilServant

        Imagine how much richer we’d be if they were put to work.

        1. leonadasiv

          Work don’t work, I don’t care, just don’t feel entitled to my money.

          1. AlexinCT

            So much this…

        2. Brett L

          Eh. Don’t confuse work with value. We would not necessarily be any richer if every one of them had a job.

          1. kbolino

            I’m pretty sure that was sarcasm. The only state to get close to 100% LFPR was Democratic Kampuchea and they did it by murdering everyone who couldn’t work.

          2. commodious spittoon

            Kampuchea

            Those gross fungus teas?

      3. kbolino

        What’s more concerning is that we’re turning into Japan*. Over the past 20 years,

        16-19 LFPR fell from 50% to 25%
        20-24 LFPR fell from 77% to 68%
        25-34 LFPR fell from 83% to 81%
        35-44 LFPR fell from 85% to 82%
        45-54 LFPR held steady
        55-64 LFPR rose from 30% to 40%
        65+ LFPR rose from 12% to 22%

        And the BLS has the gall to say the LFPR outlook in 10 years is rosy. Yeah, it’s gonna be just grand when all of LFPR gains from the last 20 years die off from old age and nobody has the experience or skills to replace them.

        * = in terms of age demographics, if nothing else

        1. Speaking of aging population: The last time I went to a big ERP software conference I noticed that everyone there was old. As in knocking on the retirement door. At my mid-40s I was one of the younger guys there.

          ERP stuff just isn’t flashy like designing apps so getting young blood will be problematic. It’s no wonder that there are so many Indian programmers in the field.

          1. Pat

            You’re the 2nd person on here who has mentioned that. It’s really making me think about taking some training. 30 suddenly doesn’t feel so old.

          2. commodious spittoon

            I’ve been chatting with a guy who’s majoring in network admin after flunking out of the CS program. It’s gotten me thinking about changing my major. And I’m in your shoes re: 30 and needing some lucrative career training.

          3. Trolleric the Goth

            maybe the younger people aren’t attending conferences?

          4. Could be – I could that – only send senior management, etc.

          5. Caput Lupinum

            As someone in his late twenties, the preponderance of old farts in the field was a reason I got into it. ERP may be a bit boring, but it isn’t going anywhere. Every year more of the old guard retires and my salary keeps going up.

  36. KibbledKristen

    Justin Amash says he’s putting together a detailed piece about his vote yesterday. Apparently he did manage to read it before the vote.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      I haven’t looked. Please, please tell me he voted “no” and is holding out for a full repeal.

      1. Tundra

        He voted yes. Massie voted no.

      2. KibbledKristen

        He voted yes, but it sounds like he has reservations. I’ll just wait and see what his full explanation is.

      3. commodious spittoon

        From what I’ve been hearing, House Republicans are hoping putting the Senate in the hot seat will wring out some of the crap.

    2. Tundra

      It’s a tough call, I’m sure. Looking at it more this morning, it does go some way to neutering a lot of the worst parts of OCare, but it still doesn’t appear to create the mechanism by which healthcare can return to being a goddamn service, not a right.

      1. Then why is it a tough call? Do you think turning it down will lead to something better soon?

    1. kbolino

      But guns! And Europe! You’re messing with the narrative!

    2. leonadasiv

      Great analysis. It’s not that surprising. I think a look at weather the murder rate per 100,000 is as drastic distribution.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Climate change causes murders?

    3. KibbledKristen

      CA and Shitcago. What a shocker.

      1. KibbledKristen

        And the NY-NJ-CT-PA quad state area. Another shocker.

    4. Agent Cooper

      How would this chart change if we legalized drugs?

      1. UnCivilServant

        “It’d be blood red from coast to coast!”

        /DEA Agent

    5. Gilmore

      This is a very interesting story and one i think would change the way people think about crime if it were more widely circulated.

      Which is why it isn’t.

    6. robc

      How does that compare to population density?

      Obviously, 54% of the counties have more than 0% of the population, but by how much?

      Also, what do the top 2% of the counties have in terms of population?

      I realize I think I have the data to answer these questions myself.

      1. How does it sort by race or color?

  37. No definite date has been set yet, but in another week or two my wife and I are supposed to meet a potential adoptee. He’s a teenager who’s been living in a group home for the past year but still wants to be adopted into a family. He seems fairly normal – some incidences but nothing wild.

    In the process of jumping through all the hoops to become foster parents, one learns how awful some parents can be. Not that my childhood was all happiness and rainbows, but there was always a family bond there; one I could depend on when the chips were down.

    Domestic adoption is also a very frustrating process – one that I bet turns away so many potential adopters – the classes, the training, the prying into your finances, personal life, and family, the home inspections, and, most importantly, the time the whole process takes. It’s gotten to the point where I’m ready to ditch re-licensing when it comes up and give up on our dream of having more kids in the house.

    1. Hammercorps

      Is it an extremely expensive process? I’ve heard that’s part of why so many people don’t do it.

      1. We’re looking to adopt someone who is in “the system” – wards of the state. No money on our part besides the extra $$ we will need for food, clothing, etc. The state will actually send you a monthly check if you take a child, at least until they are officially adopted.

        1. FreeSociety

          It’s a pretty ugly system all in all. My parents had foster kids when I was a young chap, with aims to actually adopt some of them. None of them worked out. One killed my dog, the other stole a bunch of money and ran away, the other was mentally disturbed beyond repair but at least she didn’t kill my dog. Other people I know that do the foster thing to this day, they seem to hate their home life. So there’s that.

          1. It ’tis. And we’ve actually never had foster kids in the house. We’ve turned down several though; for various reasons but mostly to keep our own son safe.

          2. FreeSociety

            That’s a good call. My wife works at a law firm that specializes in adoptions and child custody cases. One scenario that’s shockingly common is that a foster kid is raped by his biological parents then moves in with a new family after the state takes the kid away and the new foster kid then rapes one or more of the biological children of the new foster family. She’s dealt with three such scenarios like this within the last year.

          3. Pomp

            Question: is your own son already out of the house? Just curious.

          4. No – freshman in high school. He’s special needs so we are very treading very carefully with bringing someone else in to the house.

          5. Pomp

            ::hat tip to a better man than I::

        2. Old Man With Candy

          I’ve been investigating adoption of a comely teenage female. I have tried to explain to SP that it’s the only humanitarian thing to do.

          Can you get a teen who can solder? That would be quite helpful.

          1. Private Chipperbot

            I keep telling the Mrs. we need an 18 year old Swedish nanny. No luck yet.

          2. commodious spittoon

            There’s no such thing as involuntary emancipation, and panel vans are not “mobile adoption points.”

    2. straffinrun

      You’re a saint. I’ll help the distressed kids, but not taking them into my house to be around my kid.

      1. I’m no saint. And there are potential problems that will arise – I’m worried about my art and music collection, along with the sudden responsibility. But hey – it’s not these kids faults that their parents are psychos, or so far gone in drugs and drinking that they can’t care for their offspring. If I was child in a horrible situation, I would act out too. The resentment, as if the world was against you, must be incredibly high.

        1. straffinrun

          If you don’t have kids in the house already, a bit different. Still, it’s quite the sacrifice.

    3. Pat

      I’m glad there’s people like you in the world who are willing to make the sacrifices to try to provide a better life for those kids. Good job. As much as it makes me a little guilty, I honestly couldn’t ever see myself doing it.

    4. Suthenboy

      Good for you Lord H.

      I hope all works out well.

      I raised some that weren’t mine. You wont regret it.

  38. FreeSociety

    Remember the guy who would sit in the endzone at football games with a multicolored wig and a sign reading “John 3:16”? Apparently, his identity has been outed and it’s unlikely that he’ll be coming back.

    I’m telling you it was autoerotic asphixiation. The suicide note and all that was a ruse to distract from the fact that he died doing what he loved.

    1. Agent Cooper

      he died doing what he loved.

      There were no other dead people in the cell, so I’m not so sure about that.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Killing oneself is a kind of homicide.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Also: lol

      2. Rasilio

        I thought he loved that other guy they put in solitary becuase his boyfriend killed himself?

  39. KibbledKristen

    Is Cinco de Mayo a thing for anyone over the age of 35? All the 20-somethings in the office are running around squealing “Happy Cinco!!! EEEEEE!” like it’s Christmas.

    1. Hammercorps

      Cinco de what now?

        1. Gadfly

          Gracias.

          1. Tundra

            I’m not sure if I should thank him. I just spent the last 20 minutes watching those damn videos. They’re like crack.

          2. commodious spittoon

            <3 5sf

          3. Tundra

            Yes. And the women in the group are gorgeous and genuinely funny.

            That Kelsey….damn.

      1. Gadfly

        Cinco de Mayo is part of the great American tradition of cultural appropriation: we celebrate other cultures by drinking in their honor without giving a care what the holiday originally stood for. It’s Mexican St. Patrick’s Day.

    2. UnCivilServant

      This is the first I’ve heard it mentioned today.

      Note – state employees trend older.

      1. Chipwooder

        This is true – out of nine people in my department, I’m younger than all but two of them. By over a decade in most cases…..and I’m 40.

    3. KibbledKristen

      One of my very young colleagues asked if I were going to have sangria when they do this happy hour thing at 4pm today. She was shocked when I said I wasn’t too keen on drinking right before I drive home. I said I would join the party, but would probably not have any booze. She looked crestfallen. Kids these days.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        Sangria has far too little alcohol to be useful.

        SP is making us full-strength margaritas tonight, which we’ll chase with some artisanal Mezcal that we acquired through “informal” means.

        1. Pomp

          Admit it. You exchanged vital organs for said mezcal, proper barter deal.

        2. This is the margarita recipe that I use

          The video has a slightly swishy presenter which adds to the enjoyment.

          1. Old Man With Candy

            That’s not far from SP’s method, though she doesn’t use agave nectar- we don’t like our margaritas to be sweet like that.

          2. It’s a bit *stiff* without the agave but I like ’em either way.

          3. Private Chipperbot

            The best and least sickly sweet: your favorite silver tequila, st. germain, and some lime juice. They are fantastic and I don’t feel gross after a few of them.

          4. JW

            Nice. Trying that out tonight.

          5. Old Man With Candy

            Well, come on over tonight- I have some new speakers you should hear.

          6. Wish I could… I’m in the search for upgrading my stereo

        3. commodious spittoon

          Pfeh… margaritas. Cut to the chase: tequila shooters and Pacifico.

          1. OneOut

            I think the original Margarita is 1:1 tequila and fresh lime juice in a large shot glass popped before shooting.

            They are the reason I no longer drink tequila even if that isn’t the original purist version of the coctail.

    4. Pat

      If by “a thing” you mean that you can expect coupon extravaganzas and sales on tortilla chips, dip, limes and tequila at your local supermarket, then yes. There were some decent deals around here. I almost picked up a wee fifth of tequila to go with the 4 for $1 limes, but decided my gallon jugs of rum and whiskey were sufficient.

      1. Pomp

        sales on tortilla chips, dip, limes

        You know, I always thought Cinco de Mayo was a stupid thing to celebrate, but now it all makes sense!

      2. Pope Jimbo

        Good deal on the limes. I like them for Cuba Libres.

        1. Pat

          Precisely what I buy them for as well – it’s my go-to weekend beverage.

    5. Juvenile Bluster

      You should scold them for their culturally appropriating behavior.

    6. Agent Cooper

      CULTURAL APPROPRIATORS!!!!

      1. UnCivilServant

        Cultural Apropriation is a cornerstone of my culture’s identity. How dare you culture-shame me for it!

        1. Gadfly

          That just shows how much of an oppressor you are. All the successful empires have appropriated the culture and technology of others, you have no problem with cultural appropriation, therefor you are an imperialist. QED. LOL.

      2. Ken Shultz

        Just for the record, the Mexicans appropriated German culture.

        The beer, the accordions, the girls named Olga . . .

        It’s indefensible.

        1. Chipwooder

          I thought Olga was a Slavic name?

          1. Caput Lupinum

            Olga is the Slavic version of the Norse name Helga. So double appropriation.

      3. mexican sharpshooter

        “CULTURAL APPROPRIATORS!!!!”

        Stop it. Everyone is Mexican today!

        You all better start running from El Trumpeñero

    7. Hammercorps

      On the topic of Cinco De Mayo, and because Swiss didn’t do any music, and also because this music video is extremely politically incorrect, here.

      1. The Last American Hero

        I was expecting Metalachi.

    8. AlmightyJB

      Work doing a big Tex Mex pot luck today but they seem to have a reason to do a pot luck at least once a month. At least. I’ll be sneaking out somewhere for lunch hopefully.

    9. Pope Jimbo

      Our office has lots of Spaniards in it. And a few Mexicans.

      The Evil Crackers are having a great day making sure to wish the SPaniards Happy Cinco and not the Mexicans.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        *insert joke about S&M here*

        1. AlmightyJB

          + 50 Shades of Bolero

    10. Rasilio

      I get needing a fifth of Tequilla or Vodka but who the hell needs a fifth of Mayonaise? And is it even artisinal Mayo? Do they have a clinic for it?

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Wherever there are 4 Glibertarians, there will always be a fifth.

        So sayeth the Pope

  40. Ken Shultz

    I was watching all the pants-shitting in the MSM, yesterday, over the House passing the new healthcare bill, and I got to thinking about how Cortez Cortez and company at Secret Nazi President might be reacting.

    It would be all pants-shitting, amirite?

    Each of them shit their pants individually every time Secret Nazi President does or says anything, but if and when Trump signs a repeal of ObamaCare, they all shit their pants at the same time. In fact, how dare you not shit your pants! What are you, some kind of secret Nazi?

    1. FreeSociety

      No of course not! Unlike half of the US population I’m anti-Nazi and I’ll prove it to you… *shits pants*

      1. Because Nazis can’t stand duty in the pants — their own or anybody else’s, right?

    2. FreeSociety

      Hey wait a second. You didn’t call him Drumpf, are you some kind of Nazi, bruh?

      1. UnCivilServant

        I’m actually an antisocialist.

    3. Bobarian LMD

      The political equivalent to the Brown Note?

  41. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of aging population: The last time I went to a big ERP software conference I noticed that everyone there was old. As in knocking on the retirement door. At my mid-40s I was one of the younger guys there.

    Some time ago, I saw a claim that the average age of the people who work on the main power grid (don’t ask me for specifics) was mid-fifties. But every high school senior should be going to college to study sociology. Or art history.

    1. Rasilio

      Is erp even still a thing? I’ve not seen an ad for an ERP implementation job in close to a decade

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Yes, but the major platforms have their clientele well established.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of Cinco de Mayo- have some Pogues.

    It’s cultural appropriation all the way down.

  43. The Late P Brooks

    Cultural Apropriation is a cornerstone of my culture’s identity.

    No kidding. I’ll steal a good idea from *anybody*.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Sombreros keep the rain of your face, ponchos are cool, and who doesn’t want to carry a couple bandoliers and pistols around all the time.

      1. Pomp

        I had a baja hoodie when I was a kid that I thought was the balls. Are those cool anymore????

        1. AlmightyJB

          Does it hide your weapons? If so, then yes.

        2. The 90s call and wants its hemp necklace back.

  44. JW

    Chapter 196 in the ongoing saga of “Why The Fuck Are We There?”

    Everyone, including our Glorious Leaders, just GTFO of anything ending with a ‘stan’ or ‘aq.’ Come here and open up delicious kabob stands. We’ll only steal from you and occasionally have one of our Brave Boys in Blue shoot you, maybe.

    And you pants shitting nativists clutching pearls over the Muzzie horde coming to kill you, please, STFU.

    1. FreeSociety

      Terrorism is one of the minor detriments of having a large Muslim minority in a western country. The worst part is their crime rate, their barbarism and their conquest driven view of society. As a group they offer nothing but poverty, violence, victimology and displacement. They bring nothing to the table and any given society on Earth would be better off without them. Too nativist for ya?

    1. AlmightyJB

      Black Power appropriation included

    2. Rasilio

      How dare they appropriate my capitalist culture

  45. The Late P Brooks

    you pants shitting nativists clutching pearls over the Muzzie horde coming to kill you, please, STFU.

    Dave John’s not here, Man.

  46. KibbledKristen

    At work we just watched a DVD of a Delta II launch from 20 years ago. OMG – the hair! The clothes!

    1. Agent Cooper

      So it was a Delta Burke launch?

      I hope they had enough boosters.