Manly Monday

Sugar Free sent this my way, but don’t let that scare you off: “Romance novel cover model wanted in Connecticut robberies is arrested in San DiegoDavid Byers (mildly NSFW) of the (very ritzy, I’ve been there) Solana Beach, CA has apparently been robbing banks (three of them! or one of them twice the story seems muddled) and a gas station in…Greenwich, CT. As far as I can tell he started his life of crime in SD when he stole a rowing machine from his apartment complex gym. Honestly, I’m thinking Zoolander sequel: male Instagram models gone rogue while Derek and friends overcome their increasing irrelevance at the democratization of beauty and save the day. Anyway, Byers randomly resurfaced in NY, PA and AZ before making it back to San Diego where he was driving around applying for jobs while driving a stolen vehicle and of course because he’s a model, he was arrested shirtless (autoplay video warning).

Something SFW, and something less SFW. Now don’t get me wrong, I would, without question, stick it in crazy in this case, but only with an assumed name and at a hotel. One doesn’t want crazy following one home.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BHvun0DDkFW/?hl=en

A SFW example of his professional work (though unless the story is about a closet case with a girlfriend, his photo doesn’t really fit the title).

When SF sent this my way, the fact that he was a Michael Stokes (mNSFW: man butt and implied nudity) model immediately pinged something in the back of my brain. When I saw the guy’s pictures I realized immediately what it was. Stokes has a type (muscles, bad tattoos) and a style (shiny, bold, uncanny use of HDR) that’s very distinctive and a few years back he did a series–and companion coffee table book–on Veterans who had lost limbs while serving, which began with him shooting Alex Minsky. This launched Minsky’s career as an underwear model, and also a fully clothed model who cleans up well, but where’s the fun in that? The Daily Mail has some fine examples from the book. There’s also a 2017 calendar…because of course there is.

Comments

132 responses to “Manly Monday”

  1. SP

    I remember the “Always Loyal” series. While his style of photography is not my favorite, I thought it was a powerful project.

    1. jesse.in.mb

      While his style of photography is not my favorite, I thought it was a powerful project.

      Very much agreed on both counts. The Daily Mail piece (surprisingly) does the project justice while talking about it. I’m glad it got as much attention as it did. I mentioned the David Byers story to a coworker and when I mentioned Michael Stokes she immediately perked up “Oh the photographer with the hot wounded vets?”

  2. Worker and Parasite

    Completely hairless + bad tattoos = not a great look, but it seems to be a very popular one around the gym and such.

    1. That’s nasty. All the more reason for everyone to have their own weight rack in their basements.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Or in their garage as I’m planning to do in the home we’re building. I love the privacy of it all.

  3. Mad Scientist

    I’m curious what that says on his chest, but I’m afraid if I zoom in it’ll just read “douchebag” over and over.

    1. Rhywun

      LOL

      Yeah, I’ll pass. There’s “crazy”, and then there’s just “really bad judgement”.

      1. I’m always amazed that criminals are so dumb they don’t realize tattoos are a really good identifying feature.

        Perhaps they should just get their SSNs tattooed on their forearm or something.

        1. commodious spittoon

          “Poor Impulse Control”

          1. quincy

            But only if they ride a bike with a sidecar that pings the local geiger counters.

        2. thrakkorzog

          Fuck it, time to bring back branding.

  4. Scruffy Nerfherder

    “I think his issue is that he’s a pleaser,” Stokes said. “He always wants to please certain people, and that derails him.”

    LOL

  5. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Wait, so is Solana Beach ritzy because it’s always been that way or because you’ve been there?

    1. Mad Scientist

      Please be the second. Please be the second. Please be the second.

      1. jesse.in.mb

        Shush you, it’s the former.

  6. BakedPenguin

    You’d think the guy could just get a Sugar Mama or wealthy chickenhawk who reads the books he appears on to fund his lifestyle.

    1. jesse.in.mb

      34 is too old to get a chickenhawk.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Ok, then how about a nice GOP Senator or a TV evangelist?

        1. jesse.in.mb

          Speaking of televangelists: Trinity Broadcasting Network sells Costa Mesa HQ. I saw a for sale sign on this building on my way down to Orange County for a family event. I was shocked. This place has been a mainstay of the excesses of televangelism since forever.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            According to the article they consider it obsolete. Maybe they’re angling for a nice Trump property.

          2. jesse.in.mb

            Considering the Crystal Cathedral also passed out of Evangelical hands recently I’m not sure they weren’t putting a positive spin on financial troubles as Orange County becomes further out of alignment with the image it developed in the ’60s-’90s

          3. westernsloper

            I know that place. I have never been there, but have driven by it and recognized it immediately. I am a product of a weird evangelical family.

          4. jesse.in.mb

            I am a product of a weird evangelical family.

            *High Five*

          5. westernsloper

            Right on. *high five back* I tried to live in CA out of high school. That is when I would have driven by the Cathedral. Probably about the time you were born. I spent a bit of time at the confluence of the 405 and the 22. I rode my bike from there to Balboa Pier. It was sketchy until I got to the beach, after that no problem. The last ten miles getting home almost killed me. It was a longer ride than I anticipated. No google maps. It was like an inch on the map I was looking at. 80’s era single speed cruiser. Oh to be 18 again and do a 40+ mile ride on a cruiser.

            (reflecting, I may have told that story before, but I blame it on being autistic now that we are all autistic)

  7. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Carryover from the last post about low-flo. The reduction in flow on municipal systems has caused an increase in the amount of time the water languishes in the pipes. The chlorine decay rate is quite often too high for the languish times and the risk increase for bacteria has gone up.

    Long story short, don’t use tankless water heaters and keep your hot water heater set above 140 degrees.

    1. Vhyrus

      Why not tankless?

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        They only heat the water up to usage temperatures, not sterilization.

        1. I learned something today.

        2. Vhyrus

          I may have to re evaluate my whole life after going down this rabbit hole, but I never considered the water coming out of my tap to be ‘sterile’ at any temperature below boiling. Is it supposed to be?

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Only in matters of degree, pun intended, but Legionella still exists.

          2. westernsloper

            I would think it has to do with flow. I doubt water making it out of the P-trap is at sterilization temp unless it is at a temp that is going to melt your P-trap. There is cooling water in there regardless. But I am not engineer, and I find math hard and do not have the ability, and or the desire to decipher that equation of water in a P-trap over temp of water and water then going down the sewer.

            River running people proverb: The solution to pollution is dilution=piss in the river not on the beach.

          3. Playa Manhattan

            Done and done.

          4. westernsloper

            Well, what is the equation? I need to make a t-shirt. I have one drawn up for the algebra of bbq, but not one of the math of sewage.

          5. mexican sharpshooter

            Yes. But its not a big deal unless you’re in the habit of drinking from the toilet.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      Unless you live in LA and your water is loaded with chloramine.

  8. straffinrun

    I wanna be hot, too. Do I drink that HDR stuff or is it a suppository?

    1. jesse.in.mb

      HDR is toxic in large doses. It must be used sparingly and is quite addictive. If you’d like to know more about the dangers of HDR, check out some real estate photography. Realtors heard it makes properties “pop” and crank it up to 11.

      1. Walford

        Shawn Johnson said Ortega makes her taco pop.

  9. LT_Fish

    This is almost but not quite completely unrelated to the original post, but anyone here have experience with Pinzgauer? I’ve been reading good things about them over the years (free access to Janes at work, etc) – and it’s one of my dream purchases if/when I get some land out in the NW.

    And presumably if it’s anything like an original Willy, it should technically be possible to find replacement parts over the next few decades at a minimum.

    1. Gilmore

      I still want a Unimog just to drive around town with.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Goddamn that’s ugly

        1. Gilmore

          Pimp-style is not for everyone. Also, i need something that can handle my preferred subwoofer setup

          I call it “The Guido-Disemboweller”

          1. AlmightyJB

            How much for the chick.

          2. Gilmore

            They’re a common unit of measurement in Japan. i think you can get them in hardware-stores.

      2. westernsloper

        The Unimog is a legend in the seismic oil and gas exploration world. They go where the roads aren’t. I have never been on a job with them, (I worked for cheap companies) but I heard the stories.

      3. one true athena

        I only know what that is because the kid built one out of Legos.

    2. AlmightyJB

      Could you DIY something with some 1/4″ steel plates cut to fit.

  10. Gilmore

    and a gas station in…Greenwich, CT

    I would honestly not be surprised if the cash-take from a Greenwich gas station robbery were better than your average bank.

    1. Rhywun

      Yeah, right? It’s where rich Wall Street types feed their gas guzzlers and there’s probably little or no security to boot.

    2. Vhyrus

      Except they don’t carry cash anymore. Now, somewhere on the edge of Miami where the drug dealers hang out? Holy shit.

      1. Gilmore

        ^^spoken like a guy who has robbed gas stations for years

  11. “Four thousand or so people are struggling with a difficult question right now. They recently found out that they are descendants of slaves who were sold to pay a debt owed by Georgetown University. Georgetown is trying to make amends….

    “[Reporter Noel] KING: Scott [Williams of Atlanta] is having a hard time with all of this. His shock turned to anger and then into certainty that Georgetown owes the descendants something. Georgetown has apologized. It’s pledged to invest heavily in research and scholarship on slavery. But the big news for descendants – Georgetown will offer preferential admissions, a boost for those who apply to the school….

    “KING: Georgetown’s offer of preferential admissions is probably not going to help [Scott Williams’ son] Sheldon [because of Sheldon’s bad grades] and he admits that. And it probably won’t help most descendants – older people, those who have already gone to college, those who don’t want to move to Washington, D.C., and those who don’t have the grades. So what about them? Sheldon’s dad, Scott, is part of a group of descendants that’s hired a lawyer to see if they can get something else….

    “KING: He says he would like Georgetown to cut checks.

    “[SCOTT] WILLIAMS: They owe us money.”

    His son isn’t so sure…

    “SHELDON [WILLIAMS]: Something about, you know, asking for the money, something about that doesn’t seem right….

    “SHELDON [WILLIAMS]: I want to say you could possibly be being greedy by asking for money, you know?”

    1. AlmightyJB

      Sounds like his son learned right from wrong somewhere. He should be proud of him.

    2. Vhyrus

      I’m sure Georgetown has 40 acres and a mule they could spare…

    3. Incidentally, Georgetown seems to be introducing some online courses, so maybe the reporter could have called the university before going off about the poor old people and nonresidents who can’t take classes there.

  12. Derpetologist

    https://pjmedia.com/blog/whos-to-blame-when-a-black-man-rapes-a-black-woman/1/

    ***************
    What follows is the harrowing and cognitively dissonant account of a woman’s rape at the hands of a black man she considered a friend. Her name is Amanda Kijera and here is her story:

    Two weeks ago, on a Monday morning, I started to write what I thought was a very clever editorial about violence against women in Haiti. The case, I believed, was being overstated by women’s organizations in need of additional resources. Ever committed to preserving the dignity of black men in a world which constantly stereotypes them as violent savages, I viewed this writing as yet one more opportunity to fight “the man” on behalf of my brothers. That night, before I could finish the piece, I was held on a rooftop in Haiti and raped repeatedly by one of the very men who I had spent the bulk of my life advocating for.

    It hurt. The experience was almost more than I could bear. I begged him to stop. Afraid he would kill me, I pleaded with him to honor my commitment to Haiti, to him as a brother in the mutual struggle for an end to our common oppression, but to no avail. He didn’t care that I was a Malcolm X scholar. He told me to shut up, and then slapped me in the face. Overpowered, I gave up fighting halfway through the night.

    **************

      1. quincy

        I loved that movie.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      I just heard about her earlier.

      Reminds me of the Italian girl who wore a wedding dress and hiked to the Mid-East ‘for peace’ and was raped and murdered in Turkey.

    2. commodious spittoon

      This is unconscionable. She needs to write him an open letter apologizing for how her rape at his hands reflects poorly on the plight of Haitians like him.

  13. Derpetologist

    The excellent video from which I learned about the incident mentioned above:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ducNreliCS4

    1. Gilmore

      that 2010 rape story and the 2005 shooting of Nicole Dufresne (outside what used to be my -and gavin’s apparently – favorite bar) both illustrate something i’ve seen a million times….

      ….basically, the attitude among young people recently transplanted to NYC from some less-economically-diverse-place who think =

      “Im not one of the *bad* white people! I’m one of the *good* ones who feels deep sympathies and simpatico with black and hispanic people, ergo = they will recognize this and see me as their fellow-traveler in the struggle against The Man!”

      the assumption they make whenever they find themselvs threatened by someone from the “underclass”…. is that the said underclass-person can be reached by one of two main strategies =

      1 – appeal to the above fact that “they’re one of the good ones” (e.g. the rape example above), or
      2 – attempt the sort of social-shaming gestures *they themselves* would respond to.

      re: the latter… They seem to mistakenly think that the “other” cares about the same shit they do. That some street-punk will give a shit if they start telling them how they feel about this sort of thing.

      Hence, the words most commonly heard right before some hipster gets punched in the face = “Hey man, that’s not cool

      “Not cool” = as though a gang of puerto rican thugs cares about being ‘cool’ in the eyes of the wisconsin hipster beardo. Kerthwack! (thick rimmed glasses fly past, you hear the gasp of his friends “JARED!!”)

      If its girls, and they’re being ‘harassed’ by some street dudes, the similar stupid-fucking-thing-to-say retort you hear is, “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE??!”

      As though the man who is groping your tits is going to stop and reconsider his actions when you confront him with his lesser-class-status. Nope! Actually he’s now going to break your jaw and say, “That’s Who!”

      Basically, its this failure to recognize that from the POV of the street-kids, you’re just a tourist and this is his city. acting snooty and trying to shame them is the absolutely wrong thing to do. And 99% of the time it actually just invites violence that otherwise wouldn’t have happened.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        That’s a long way of saying ‘naive putz’.

        1. Gilmore

          The police said she asked the men something to the effect of, “What are you going to do, shoot us next?

          “I don’t know if she was going off on the guy or what,” Mr. Sparks said. “I heard one shot. Nicole was lying on the street on her back.”

          I think its a form of naive-putz that is fairly unique to the area.

          I think the hipster-colonization of places like Bushwick/Bed-Stuy/Crown Heights etc. has probably exacerbated it as well. as has the abnormally-low crime rates for the last 2 decades.

      2. Derpetologist

        I got called “not cool” by a Chicago hipster while riding the train because I poked a loud, obnoxious drunk in the chest and told him to shut the fuck up.

        In my defense, the drunk asshole shut his yap and for the rest of the train ride, it was quiet enough to hear a rat piss on cotton.

      3. Derpetologist

        From an article about the duFresne shooting:

        Mr. Sparks said Ms. duFresne was strongly against capital punishment, and would have felt some sympathy for her young attacker. “This isn’t about some bad, murdering criminal,” he said. “It’s about a culture that makes it so easy for kids to have guns.”

        [head desk]

      4. thrakkorzog

        “Shut that cunt’s mouth before I go over there and cock start her head.”

    1. quincy

      Affluent, NYC, Goodthinkful, says Goodthinkful things.

      1. They should inverview a guy from Jersey.

        “The worst injustice women face is that there just isn’t enough of me to go around. Sorry, ladies!”

        1. quincy

          Pay attention, people! That’s why the President is orange hued

    2. AlmightyJB

      Sorry, could barely make it through a paragraph which I did not comprehend.

    3. Derpetologist

      ****
      Is feminism empowering for men? If so, how? How does feminism differ for you?

      Yeah for sure. I think this could be spoken to on two points – for myself personally as a homosexual man, it’s empowering that I am surrounded by very powerful women all the time; friends, family and colleagues, so it’s important for me to empower them and allow them to believe that they have equal opportunities in life because I strongly believe that.
      ***

      ***
      Why do you think the word “feminist” is associated with a negative stigma? What do you think it connotes? How do you think it could change?

      The word came around probably in the mid-20th century in terms of a popular term so I think there is a lot of stigma around it because men and anti-feminists were able to use that or create the negative connotation behind it over the times. When you give power to one thing, leaving the other thing aside (which would be the man) in a word, that gives opportunity for people to get fearful of it so they feel: “I’m afraid, therefore I should fight against or retaliate”. How do I think it could change? Not necessarily changing the exact word because I think that’s just ludicrous (rebranding a word so that it appeals to someone is unfair and unjust), but I think it’s also interesting what they did with the “He For She” campaign: they brought together all genders by having the two main genders on equal sides, making it seem like it was an equal playing field for them. I think more recently it’s become a less offensive or less intrusive word for people who don’t like it, hopefully because gender equality is progressing. But honestly, if there were less stupid people then the word wouldn’t be so hurtful. Basically education would help those people.
      ****

      ****
      What issues/reservations do you have with feminism today? What do you personally think needs change?

      For me it’s completely astonishing that in 2016 this is still an issue: to revoke the 19th Amendment that was created centuries ago. It’s crazy that this is still even a topic.
      *****

      ***
      Trump coming out with the idea to repeal the 19th Amendment, is just crazy to hear in an urban city.
      ***

      *****
      We will not tolerate attacks on the Good Men Project itself, people who question our motives, our intentions or our reason for being.

      The following will get your comment deleted. Repeat offenders will be blocked from commenting:

      Putting Good, Good Men, or Good Men Project in quotation marks, as a means of expressing your suggestion that the Good Men Project isn’t, in fact, good
      ****

  14. commodious spittoon

    Post-election homophobic vandalism of church revealed, you’ll never guess, to have been perpetrated by a gay organist congregant.

    “He explained that one of the reasons he had done it was because of fear. He was concerned about the results of the election,” Adams said.

    In a three-page, handwritten statement, Stang, according to court records, wanted to “mobilize a movement.”

    Certainly, when I’m fearful, I feel free to deface the church I attend and blame it on unknown assailants who were almost certainly Klansmen, and probably Republicans.

    1. quincy

      “Oh my, the organist,” Mary Ayers said. “The organist. Wow. Wow.”

      What?

    2. westernsloper

      He was trying to start a movement against the Klan and racist republicans (that number in the dozens) so give him a break. He was making a statement for truth, power for the people and #Resist.

    3. Gilmore

      “I suppose I wanted to give local people a reason to fight for good, even if it was a false flag,” he wrote. “To be clear my actions were not motivated by hate for the church or its congregation. I of course realize now, this was NOT the way to go about inspiring activism.”

      “I realized the moment I was caught that spray-painting “HEIL TRUMP” and “FAG CHURCH DIE” was actually not the way to foster greater tolerance and inclusiveness”

      Weird how that works.

      1. commodious spittoon

        I don’t buy that for a moment. “Fake but true” is the expedient progressives live by: you don’t turn on a dime, suddenly believing that countless people in your midst are not, in fact, the bigots you made them out to be moments before. It was a strong enough conviction that he risked alienating his family of fellow congregants, let alone criminal charges, to act it out. I’m sure on some level he wanted to “inspire activism,” but mostly he wanted to paint a bunch of fellow voters as homophobic bigots. Classy, that. Go fuck yourself.

  15. Derpetologist

    So I was reading about a proposed presidential library:

    https://heatst.com/politics/obamas-presidential-library-may-require-a-whopping-1-5-billion-endowment/

    $1.5 billion? I guess that’s the going rate for mile-high statues that roar REMEMBER ME! and belch flames.

      1. quincy

        “Enupsis! Pleotut! Whatsisname! He was the greatest of all.”

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        I want a tomb like Bender’s in that episode.

        1. quincy

          But with blackjack and hookers.

          1. DenverJ

            I feel a duty to comment on this, so, I’m commenting.

    1. westernsloper

      “It won’t be easy,” Williams said. “It’s not just about preserving the past. It’s about the future.”

      Ya. The future of his bank account. I have no doubt they could raise 2, 3, 4 billion for the light bringers library. We are close to bajebeus levels with that fucker. It creeps me out.

    2. Not an Economist

      It looks AWESOME

      1. Derpetologist

        It looks like the Zardoz head minus the humanizing facial features.

        ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. BE SURE TO SIGN THE GUESTBOOK AND VISIT THE GIFT SHOP.

        [vomits Hope and Change posters]

    3. Juvenile Bluster

      Husband-and-wife architectural team Tod Williams and Billie Tsien noted that it will be difficult to raise such a huge sum because Obama scrupulously declined to do much fund-raising while he was still in office.

      *falls over and dies laughing*

  16. Derpetologist

    Found this the other day and thought it would be useful to Warty and anyone else here with an jackass for a boss:
    http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2017/04/toxic-workplace/

    The gist is:

    don’t confront your boss alone
    have evidence of misconduct

    Fun fact: the name of the blog is Japanese for “that’s stupid!” Japanese has verbal punctuation marks. Questions end with ka. Exclamations end with yo.

    1. Gilmore

      Exclamations end with yo.

      Fuckin’ right, yo.

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      Suki desu ga suki desu ka?

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        Suki’s dead, man.

        Suki’s dead.

      2. Heroic Mulatto

        I also think people should know the full extent of your filthy, reprehensible weebitude:.

        Click link ye and despair

        Also, Yazawa Nico is best girl and I will duel any man who says otherwise.

        1. Juvenile Bluster

          …I thought I could slip that one by.

          And Nico absolutely not the best, you heathen.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            Nico Nico Ni.

            I choose Pistols.

        2. Juvenile Bluster

          That song is a clue to who best girls are. Not the least of which is because their seiyuu are smoking hot.

          1. Juvenile Bluster

            (just search for Kubo Yurika with safe search off)

          2. Heroic Mulatto

            Sure, as long as you ignore the fact that 3D = PD.

          3. thrakkorzog

            Meh, She likes like one of those Miss Korea gifs http://imgur.com/0MMzzLQ

    3. thrakkorzog

      Yeah, sumimasin, watashi no Nihongo warui desu. Waskamarisen?

  17. Juvenile Bluster

    Fuck the Penguins.

    Hopefully I only say that one more time this season, in a couple of nights.

  18. Derpetologist

    Oldest man in Afghanistan, 105, shares his longevity secrets. These include eating butter, marrying a wife 50 years younger, and hunting deer.

    http://www.foxnews.com/world/2017/05/08/afghanistan-village-s-oldest-man-offers-secret-to-longevity.html

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      “And things aren’t always happy, but I try just to be happy anyway,” Satar goes on. “I tell people not to stress. I like a lot of organic food from the mountain, but the specific food itself is not important. It’s important that people just enjoy it.”

      I’m guessing that’s a very loose translation. I highly doubt an illiterate 105 year old Afghan used the term “organic food”.

      1. commodious spittoon

        He just means he’s not eating rocks and dirt. Which seems like pretty good advice to me.

        1. westernsloper

          Rocks and dirt are pretty organic. It could be that is exactly what he means.

    2. Caput Lupinum

      Hell, according to that my uncle Bill is going to be immortal.

    3. thrakkorzog

      I have to say, I’m amazed at how how often 100+ plus year old folks originate from places with shoddy record keeping.

      You’d have a hard time finding a 105 year old American or Italian, but go to Afghanistan or Brazil, you can’t swing a dead cat without finding someone that’s 100 year old dues to a diet of whiskey, cigarettes, and tree bark. Hey, want want to find out how you you can live to such a ripe old age? Toss a dollar in the jar.

  19. Juvenile Bluster

    My sometime libertarian (but still suffering from a bad case of TDS) wife just sent me this, on the cop who shot into a car and killed an unarmed 15 year old:

    “The PR Machine is now out to make Officer Roy Oliver, who murdered Jordan Edwards, out to be a doting family man and father. I absolutely REFUSE to sit idly by while they do this. Roy Oliver’s babies were born 12 days apart. One by his ex-wife, one by his mistress”

    In other JB family news, on a social studies paper my daughter was supposed to answer the question “If you could ask the President one question, what would it be?”. I can’t say I disagree with her answer: “Nothing too scary. You know, he IS the President. 1 word can send you to jail, or even worse, prison!”. I mean, she isn’t wrong.

    1. commodious spittoon

      A good question to ask is what the hell is an officer doing shooting into a vehicle as it moves away from him. A less good question is whether he thought the passenger in the vehicle was black, as if the answer to that question in any way qualifies his answer to the first question.

    2. westernsloper

      In other JB family news, on a social studies paper my daughter was supposed to answer the question “If you could ask the President one question, what would it be?”. I can’t say I disagree with her answer: “Nothing too scary. You know, he IS the President. 1 word can send you to jail, or even worse, prison!”. I mean, she isn’t wrong.

      Whoa there. Ya, that is entirely possible I guess. Did you point out all the reporters that had their “phones tapped, and wires surveilled” when the ocean level lowering guy was in office? Didn’t some journalist chic go to jail then? (vague memory of a journalist and sources) Your daughter is a smart girl.

  20. Derpetologist

    Today, I attended a briefing on the Army’s transgender policy. Questions from the soldiers included:

    female soldier: if the Army will pay for surgery so the transgendered will feel comfortable with their bodies, will the Army pay for cosmetic surgery for me if I want to feel more comfortable with my body?

    answer: no

    male soldier: how will this policy improve the Army’s ability to fight and win wars?

    answer: something something inclusion something dignity and respect

    Also, the Army is short on recruits, so we can’t afford to exclude the transgendered.

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      “will the Army pay for cosmetic surgery for me if I want to feel more comfortable with my body?”

      Believe it or not, under certain circumstances involving a mental health provider, the Air Force WILL pay for your jugz.

    2. commodious spittoon

      Just a thought, but if the army is short on recruits, maybe it’s not paying young men enough to enlist. And maybe taking on the burden of costly reassignment surgery and hormone therapy to accommodate its token couple transgender recruits impinges somewhat on that first problem.

        1. Derpetologist

          Sadly, many people think Mulan is both a documentary and a how-to-manual.

          Meanwhile in the real military, I counted today about 30 female service members hobbling around in stabilizing boots. It’s almost as though women are more prone to injury from exercise due to substantial physiological differences.

          But hey, we have to give them a chance to spend hours heaving 90 pound artillery shells, because otherwise sexism. Restrict women to roles they can actually do? That’s *crazy* talk.

          Meanwhile, nothing special, ex-couch potato me continues to chug along with no injuries. Ran a mile in 6m40s on Saturday. Must be my white male privilege.

          1. commodious spittoon

            hobbling around in stabilizing boots

            That’s only ‘cuz they’re top-heavy.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        For a while the Army was trying to shed people. They’re like the wrestling team in high school. Binging on food, then running the halls in plastic garbage bags to lose weight.

        In other news, the state voters dedicated a chunk of money to “help” veterans in the last election (because vetrans are right after der childrun on the need help scale). First up is switching the state VA’s newsletter from newsprint to glossy magazine. Makes me want to puke. Inside was a reprint of the state Guard press release about the first female to pass 11B school and get her blue cord. They really do not know their audience.

      2. LT_Fish

        It’s an interesting question. There weren’t any enlistment bonuses (just reenlistment bonuses) for 96B (now 35F) when I was in – but they’ve got them for nearly everything else – ie. http://www.goarmy.com/benefits/money/bonuses-earning-extra-money.html

        If numbers like that aren’t enough to attract a barrista, I don’t know what is. It’s not as though every job puts you on the front lines – even less so now.

        I know the Navy offers a lot too. The Air Force is the one that really goes up and down like a freaking sine curve every couple of years. First ramping up then paying thousands of folks off to leave early (and apparently bonuses of $60,000+ isn’t enough to retain a fighter/cargo pilot from going to commercial???). Honestly, while there may be *some* benefits, I really can’t see the interest/value in working for United vs. working for the Air Force – but that’s just me.

        Hell, I’d really like to do some retraining in the shipbuilding fields – what with the increases they’ve been talking about recently and the labor shortages – Charlottesville just doesn’t have any good welding tech schools (not even at the CC) – compared to http://www.huntingtoningalls.com/careers/mwtp/ or http://as.edu/programs/welder/index.html . May just wait a few years till I try and head back towards Pac NW and the shipyards up there.

    3. straffinrun

      How does a eunuch salute in the morning?

      1. commodious spittoon

        How?

      2. Derpetologist

        They told since that since 80% of transgenders do not get the surgery, they do not need to get surgery to be categorized as their preferred gender.

    4. westernsloper

      *raises hand*

      Being 50 years old and out of shape and kind of worn out now. Will the government fix my hips, knees, and ankles to make me fit for service as I was in my twenties. If I have to get tits to get the other work done I am all game. Win win. I like tits.

      1. Derpetologist

        Just identify as 20 year old with a perfect PT score. No need for surgery.

        I’d like to identify as 5’9 so I no longer have to worry about going over my max weight.

  21. Derpetologist

    amusing: it turns out Mao’s dipshit son got killed in Korea because he insisted on cooking breakfast outside in broad daylight when the US was bombing every sign of human activity. Mao’s son was deliberate kept in the rear to keep him safe from combat.
    https://warisboring.com/egg-fried-rice-and-an-air-strike-possibly-altered-chinas-history/

    This event prevented Mao from establishing a dynasty because his other son went crazy after getting a wood shampoo from a Shanghai cop.

    The general in charge of Mao’s son waited 2 months to inform Mao and was not punished.

    1. Derpetologist

      “The headquarters staff was supposed to report for duty at 4:00 a.m. that morning. However, Anying slept in. Once he got up at 9:00 a.m., Mao’s son wanted breakfast—and he persuaded two of his friends, staff officers Gao Ruixun and Cheng Pu, to cook egg fried rice on the stove in Peng’s office, which was in a building on the surface. The eggs, a rare delicacy in the war zone, had been sent as a special gift to Peng from the North Koreans.

      According to Gen. Yang’s memoir, when he noticed smoke rising from the building, he ran over and warned Anying to put out the fire before it attracted hostile attention. Anying’s party told Yang to get lost and that they would put out the fire as soon as they were done cooking.

      At 10:00 a.m., four U.S. Air Force B-26 Invader attack planes pounced on the encampment. Mao’s friend Cheng Pu jumped out the window and fled for the protection of the mine, while the son of the communist leader and his other compatriot hid under a bed or table. However, staying inside the smoking building was not the wisest course of action, especially when targeted by napalm bombs.”

      [Nelson laugh]

      1. thrakkorzog

        You don’t have to call it a [Nelson Laugh} Ha Ha would have sufficed, We’re not court stenographers.

  22. DenverJ

    Was trying to think of a way to break up with the hippie. I’m a puss; can’t stand the thought of making her cry.
    Well, we started talking politics. I learned that I am very angry. I really am. The right has much to answer for, but the left has become a threat to America. The racism, the sexism, the thought police: it has all become too much, and the hippie chick should have known better than to start in.
    I’m over it. The next person to call me a racist, a sexist, or a homophobe is going to get his/her/x ass kicked.

    1. thrakkorzog

      Serves ya right ya faggot Homophobe. (I mean that that in the most respectful way.) Hey, look sometimes just things don’t work out.

      I also have a personal policy against commenting on break ups. You get a few drinks in you, and you’re all fuck that whore.

      Then she calls, there’s a makeup session, and then you know what you’re friends thought of your girlfriend,

      You’re going to go back, that’s inevitable. Just don’t cut out out your friends for trying to be there for you.

  23. Chafed

    Jesse I have to ask, are tattoos sexy or do you look past the tattoos to find the sexy?

    1. jesse.in.mb

      Not sure you’ll see this, but a little of both? Well executed tattoos or tattoos that suit a person’s aesthetics can be sexy or endearing. Bad tattoos can usually be ignored if they’re hot enough.

      1. Chafed

        Thanks. I’m not into tattoos so I’m curious what other people see in them.

  24. This morning on Len & Todd’s program on WOR they’re discussing a report that 99% of the students handcuffed in NYC public schools are black. Of course that’s where all the public focus will be, rather than the question of why so many events are being handled by school safety officers (NYPD).