I’m not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination. I’m serving up links, but don’t think you’ll get the sparkling commentary you’ve come to expect from the road-tripping Sloopy.
Even though my Cubbies lost, the Orioles did win last night, so it’s a pretty happy morning here at Chez OMWC/SP… which will become even happier as soon as the mimosas are mixed! The joys of working from home are infinite.
This is one of those drinks that when I make it, I say, “why don’t I make this more often?” So easy, so balanced. I freeze strawberries when they are in season, but frozen berries from the store are fine.
Many people prefer cocktails (and everything else) much sweeter than we do. Adjust the sugar as desired. Most recipes will call for 5-7 tbsp sugar. You can also use simple syrup, but I find it adds more liquid than I like.
2-1/4 cups frozen unsweetened strawberries, straight from the freezer
3/4 cup light rum
1/2 cup lime juice (don’t worry, bottled works fine)
4 tbsp white sugar – adjust to taste
Put all ingredients in the blender and puree until smooth. The final consistency should be slushy enough to drink through a straw without waiting, but not runny.
Today I present three delicious alcohol-laced desserts. An easy one for bakers, an impressively showy one for stove-top cooks who love heat, and one that requires no talent or ability whatsoever!
Torta al Vino
This recipe is by famed Italian chef Lidia Bastianich (although I’ve changed the narrative). Don’t be fooled by the ease and simplicity of this cake. The final result is unexpectedly delicious. It’s also perfect for anyone afraid of decorating a cake, as it finishes to a beautiful golden brown that needs no ornamentation.
Have all your ingredients at room temperature before starting (unless your a/c is broken and you live someplace like Phoenix!), as it will make it come together much more easily. And don’t skimp on the citrus zest. It really makes a huge difference.
Either seedless grapes or blueberries or raspberries can be used as the fruit. I used blueberries since they are in season here now and very inexpensive.
I use a 9-inch springform pan. Springform pans are available pretty much everywhere now, very inexpensively, even at Walmart and equivalent. It will make the final presentation much easier, and this cake does rise in the oven more than a standard 9-inch cake pan can happily accommodate. Splurge on the springform pan. You might even decide to start baking cheesecakes.
As is the case with many things, this is even more delicious the next day. You’re a grown-up; yes, you can eat cake for breakfast!
Serves 8-12
For the pan:
1 tbsp unsalted butter
1 tbsp all-purpose flour
For the cake:
1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour, plus 1 tsp for fruit
1-1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/8 tsp salt
6 tbsp unsalted butter
3/4 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tbsp orange or lemon zest (I use lemon if using grapes, orange if blueberries are the fruit)
3/4 cup dry white wine (nearly any kind will work)
2 cups seedless grapes, stemmed, rinsed and patted dry OR 2 cups fresh or frozen blueberries or raspberries
For the topping:
2 tbsp butter, diced
1 tbsp white sugar
1. Preheat oven to 375F.
2. Rub the entire inside of the cake pan with butter. Sprinkle with flour and shake to coat the entire surface. Dump out any extra flour.
3. In a small bowl, mix together flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.
4. In a large bowl, cream butter and sugar. When blended together, beat at high speed to smooth and lighten. Scrape down the sides of the bowl, and – one at a time – add eggs, beating after each one until fully incorporated. Add olive oil, vanilla extract, and citrus zest. Beat on high for a couple minutes until very smooth.
5. Scrape down the sides of the bowl. Add 1/3 of the flour mixture, then 1/3 of the wine, beating as thoroughly as you would your “orphan.” Continue alternating the flour mixture with wine, beating completely until all dry ingredients and wine are fully incorporated. Scrape bottom and sides of bowl and beat on high to finish smoothing the batter.
6. Pour the cake batter into the prepared pan, spreading it evenly. Sprinkle 1 tsp flour on the fruit and shake to coat evenly. Sprinkle the fruit over the cake batter, then lightly swirl the fruit into the batter. It doesn’t need to be fully submerged.
7. Pour yourself a glass of white wine. Bake cake on the middle rack of the oven for 25 minutes, drinking wine while you clean up the kitchen. After 25 minutes, the top of the cake will be set and starting to brown, but the inside of the cake will still shake. Carefully pull the rack out until you can reach the cake. Sprinkle the surface of the cake with the diced butter, then sprinkle the sugar on top. Don’t burn yourself – you’ve been drinking, after all!
8. Return cake to oven and bake until the cake is set and the top is golden brown, about 15 more wine-drinking minutes. Test with a toothpick inserted into the middle of the cake. It should be clean with no cake clinging to the toothpick when done.
9. Remove the cake from the oven and allow to cool on a rack for 10 minutes. Release the springform side and remove. Allow the cake to completely cool before serving. Continue drinking wine while you wait.
10. Slice into wedges and serve as is or add a little whipped cream (try whipping with some orange liqueur for a nice touch).
Spicy Rum Pineapple
I must emphasize that this dish can be made as spicy or as mild as your taste dictates. Make sure you use a smoked pepper powder, or add some smoked paprika to the mix. We like it so spicy (mmmmm habaneros!) that most of our guests don’t even dare try it. Those who do, generally curse us while performing their morning rituals the next day.
Fresh pineapple is a must here, but you can save yourself some work by purchasing it already cored, sliced and cut into chunks. We serve this with homemade vanilla bean ice cream. (You are definitely going to want that ice cream if you make this right.)
UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD THIS BE ANYWHERE NEAR A PIZZA. (I’m looking at you, Doom!)
Serves 4-6
1 pineapple, peeled, cored, sliced, and chunked (chunks should be about 1/2-3/4 inch thick)
3 tbsp butter
3 tbsp white sugar
1/3 – 1/2 cup dark rum
Smoked, fruity hot pepper powder (to taste)
1. Melt butter in a large skillet over medium high heat. Add pineapple and saute until caramelized, making sure to turn the pineapple so both sides are caramelized.
2. Add sugar and cook until the sugar melts.
3. While keeping your face and all small children back from the pan, pour in the rum all at once.
4. After the flames have died down, cook until the liquid has cooked down into a thick syrup. Remove from heat and sprinkle with smoked hot pepper powder.
5. Divide onto dessert plates and serve a scoop of good vanilla ice cream right alongside.
Spiked Melon
Fruit, sugar, sparkling wine, fresh herbs. Can it get any easier? No, it can’t. Don’t bring a boring, uninspired carton of Ben & Jerry’s next time you’re asked to contribute a summer dessert to a dinner party. Really, don’t be that guy.
A couple great combinations to try: cantaloupe and mint; honeydew and basil.
Serves 4
1 cup Prosecco or Cava
1/8-1/4 cup superfine sugar (adjust for taste and/or how sweet the melon is)
4 cups melon balls (oh, grow up!)
1/4 cup packed fresh herb leaves
1. Pour the sparkling wine into a large bowl. Add the superfine sugar and stir until dissolved.
2. Add the melon and stir to coat completely. Cover and refrigerate at least 2 hours. (I like to prepare this first thing in the morning for an evening event.)
3. Right before you serve, roll up the herb leaves and chiffonade (slice into thin ribbons).
4. Divide melon and liquid evenly into 4 pretty dessert glasses, garnishing each with 1 tbsp of herb ribbons.
Since your normal (hahahaha!) purveyor of Afternoon Links Of Amusement is once again slacking off, I have generously volunteered to sling some links at you. See if you can guess the theme!
Here is another good reason to be like me and avoid the product in question.
And this is why we can’t have nice things. Or at least why Europeans can’t.
Since our “normal” afternoon links staffer has blown up his computer… or office… or done something equivalent of which the details are vague, I present to the Glibertariat the “I’m not really one of you, but I play at it online” afternoon links!
Google wants you to spend some time exploring the stories of refugees on a per-click-ad-revenue-driven media outpost it just happens to own.
In shocking news, apparently actual Nazis decamped to Argentina, taking along head-measuring devices. (No, not that kind of head. Get your filthy minds out of the gutter.)
I’m not a beer drinker, but apparently beer is a luxury item in Finland, so drinkers are compelled to go elsewhere to have their Groupon honored.
Bourbon Grilling Sauce by SPIt’s grilling season here in the upper portions of the USA. I’m not a huge fan of ketchup (too bland), nor many marinades and grilling sauces (too sweet). So I make my own.
These sauces work well on meat or vegetable proteins, like tofu or the ersatz “meats” from Gardein. The recipes are pretty balanced as written, but everyone has their own taste preferences. Adjust sweetness as desired. I absolutely detest Liquid Smoke, so get my smokiness from smoked peppers such as chipotle, smoked habaneros, or smoked paprika. Adjust the heat level according to your audience. I tend to ramp them up quite a bit from the starting points below.
As with many sauces, these get better as they sit and blend, so plan ahead for once in your life and make them a day or two before you want to use them. (I’d be looking at OMWC there, but he doesn’t need to make these since he has me.)
Bourbon Marinade
1/4 cup bourbon
1/4 cup water
2 tablespoons maple syrup (if not a fan of maple, you can sub honey)
2 tablespoons ketchup
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
pinch cayenne or chipotle
1. Whisk ingredients together in a shallow dish.
2. Add protein of choice and marinate overnight, or at least 8 hours.
Bourbon Grilling Sauce
1 cup bourbon
3/4 cup apple cider vinegar
1/2 cup ketchup
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon tomato paste
1 tablespoon lemon juice
2 teaspoons liquid aminos (or Worcestershire sauce, if not vegetarian)
1 1/4 teaspoons minced garlic
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon chipotle powder or smoked paprika
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper
1/4 teaspoon dry mustard
1. Combine all ingredients with a whisk in a saucepan.
2. Simmer until desired consistency, about 45-60 minutes.
Bourbon Ketchup by SPBourbon Ketchup
16 ounces tomato puree
6 ounces tomato paste
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup bourbon
3 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
1 1/2 teaspoons liquid aminos (or Worcestershire sauce, if not vegetarian)
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 1/4 teaspoons garlic powder
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon chipotle powder or smoked paprika
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1. Combine all ingredients with a whisk in a saucepan.
2. Cook over medium heat until boiling.
3. Reduce heat and simmer for 15-20 minutes. Let cool.
4. Store in refrigerator, or portion into smaller containers and freeze.
(Featured image on front page by Flickr user respres.)
Since OMWC clearly feels that professional obligations are more important than his Jewsday Tuesday gig here at Glibertarians HQ, I am taking it upon myself to provide you with a post.
People often ask me, “What’s it like being married to OMWC? How much impact does his Jewiness have on the relationship and daily life?”
In no particular order, here are the pros and cons.
CONS
There is no Jew Gold. WTF? Perhaps it’s just being rather well hidden?
OMWC bursts randomly into songs/chants in an ancient language that no shiksa could possibly be expected to understand. And he’s not that good a singer.
His mother lives in Del Boca Vista.
He thinks he’s really very funny because “all the best comedians are Jews.” He’s not funny. I try to get people to not politely laugh at his jokes because it only serves to encourage him.
He invites the Elders of Zion over for strategy sessions.
He dresses our poor little dog in a Jew Hat and Jew Scarf.
Here in Illinois, it’s so painfully obvious. After all, only five of the top 10 Best Cities for K-12 Teachers are in Illinois, and the teachers in those cities are only making 68% more money than the overall local median salary. And they have to work for nine months every year!
In this new report examining 689 cities, “Analysts ranked cities based on eight metrics that identify places that are affordable and pay teachers well, safe, have jobs available, have a populace that values education, and are nice places to live with abundant amenities.”
So, if, inexplicably, you are a K-12 teacher reading this post on the Glibs, consider moving to one of these lovely Chicago suburbs.
Bonus: You could live next door to OMWC and me. We’ll show you our favorite watering holes, and with your salary, you’re buying!
I’ve recently become aware of the American Community Survey. And I am outraged at this overreach of government and violation of Constitutional principles and protections.
If you are blissfully ignorant of the ACS, as was I, allow me to disrupt your pleasant Sunday afternoon by sharing the gory details with you. Oh, take a moment to pour an adult beverage first. You’ll need it.
“Results from this survey are used to decide where hospitals and fire stations are needed.”Each year, approximately 3.5 million US households are randomly selected by the US Census Bureau to receive the ACS. It arrives in your mailbox in a large official envelope bearing the legend YOUR RESPONSE IS REQUIRED BY LAW. There have been some efforts to make it voluntary in the past, but it remains mandatory as of this writing.
“If it’s voluntary, then we’ll just get bad data,” said Kenneth Prewitt, a former director of the census who is now at Columbia University’s School of International and Public Affairs. “That means businesses will make bad decisions, and government will make bad decisions, which means we won’t even know where we actually are wasting our tax dollars.” NY Times, 20 May 2012
So what is it?
As you are undoubtedly aware, Article I, Section 2, Clause 3 of the Constitution requires a decennial census for a very express purpose. This purpose is limited to enumeration to determine the apportionment of “Representatives and direct Taxes.” That’s it. This, of course, began to be perverted quite early on.
Started in 2005, the ACS “replaces” the long-form census questionnaire that was formerly randomly assigned to households during the regular census years. This survey contains an amazing range of intrusive questions. Here are just a few of them, and please note that these are summaries of the very detailed layered queries:
Seriously? Don’t ALL 5 year olds have difficulty bathing and dressing?
your name and phone number
gender (only the traditional male and female are given check boxes)
age and birth date
race
relationship of all persons living in the home
year the building was constructed
actual sales from agricultural products from the property
does the dwelling have hot and cold running water
does the dwelling have a refrigerator
does any resident have a computer, including mobile devices
how do you get ‘net access
how much were all your various utility bills last month
does anyone receive Food Stamps or SNAP
do you have a mortgage or home equity line, and how much is your payment
what is the market value of your home
what are your property taxes
what time did you leave for work LAST WEEK (emphasis theirs)
what is your income from all sources, including child support
for whom do you work, what is the address of your employer and what do you do for them
how much education did you receive and in what major is your degree
where did you live a year ago – provide complete address
how many times have you been married and what’s your current marital status
in what year did you last get hitched
are you raising grandchildren
do you have a disability
do you have difficulty climbing stairs or bathing
number of persons living in the home
(Wait, what? They actually ask a question for which they have authority? Or anyway, they would have authority to ask it were this a decennial census.)
All of these questions, by the way, must be answered for each and every person living in the home. 28 pages in all, if there are five household members.
The Census Bureau freely admits that this entire process is a time-and-hassle burden (FYTW!), providing a “burden estimate” of 40 minutes right on the back of the form and in the brochures accompanying the letter from John H. Thompson, the director of the CB. If one were to actually provide accurate information for the detailed financial questions, it would require gathering of documents and calculations and would take far longer than 40 minutes if your papers are not perfectly ordered. (My total water bill for the last 12 months? Um….)
What happens to the data?
Legit?Now, all other considerations aside, filling out this form and popping it into the mail seems like a field day for an identity thief. In fact, the ACS seems so intrusive and shady to so many people who receive it, that consumer hotlines regularly get phone calls and emails asking reporters to look into it. Austin’s Bob Cole asked Politifact to check it out when he received it. Even the bureaucrats at the Census Bureau realize it sounds suspicious! (See the second question on their own website at right.)
If you are concerned about mailing a form with all this info, you can simply respond to the survey online using the code on your form and a PIN they will assign you when you start the process. Yes, answering invasive government questionnaires from your personal computer seems like a fine idea.
But, hey, don’t worry. The Census Bureau is keeping your information confidential! We all know there has never been a problem with information security in government. Even the tags on FAQs on the ACS website seek to reassure you. “Keywords: security, online, safe, legitimate.”
Surely, too, there has never been a case of a government worker misusing their access. After all, the very pretty “Frequently Asked Questions” brochure that accompanies the form in the mail tells you that every Census Bureau employee has taken an oath and is subject to jail, fines, or both if they disclose “ANY information that could identify you or your household.” I feel better already.
How is the data used?
1 in 38 households receives an “invitation” to participate. (click to enlarge)“The American Community Survey helps local officials, community leaders and businesses understand the changes taking place in their communities. It is the premier source for detailed information about the American people and workforce.
“When you respond to the ACS, you are doing your part to help your community plan hospitals and schools, support school lunch programs, improve emergency services, build bridges, and inform businesses looking to add jobs and expand to new markets, and more.”
Yep, that means Starbucks is using this data to decide where to erect another tribute to burnt coffee. Which, you know, means jobs for your neighborhood hipsters and convenient access to overpriced coffee for you.
The Rutherford Institute has a handy article which expands a bit on the ACS and how the data is put to use:
“The Bureau lists 35 different categories of questions on its website and offers an explanation on how the information is to be used. For 12 of those categories, the information is used to assist private corporations. For another 22, the information is used to aid advocacy groups, and in nine of those cases, the Census Bureau states that the responses will be used by advocacy groups to ‘advocate for policies that benefit their groups,’ including advocacy based on age, race, sex, and marital status.”
Help me out here. I’m a little rusty on the Constitution. Which Article covers Target and Home Depot using the government to do their market research for them at the expense of citizens? And certainly the advocacy groups must be in there somewhere, too….
What are the penalties for refusing the invitation to participate?
According to Title 18 U.S.C Section 3571 and Section 3559 you can be fined up to $5,000 and/or imprisoned. However, nobody seems to have been penalized for failing to attend this particular soiree.
It is far more likely that you will simply be hounded and harassed by Census Bureau field agents.
In order to collect the required American Community Survey (ACS) data, we use a multi-part strategy, including Internet, mail, telephone calls, and personal visits.
First, we send a letter to let you know your address has been selected for the ACS.
Then most respondents receive instructions to complete the ACS online. If the survey is not completed, we send you a replacement questionnaire in about two weeks.
If we still do not receive a completed survey, we may attempt to call you from one of our call centers. You may also receive a telephone call if you completed the survey, but clarification is needed on the information you provided.
If we cannot reach you by phone, we may send a Census interviewer to your address to complete the interview in person.
If you think this sounds fairly benign, read through the 900+ comments on this article. Even discounting the, er, less stable commenters, there is a clear pattern of harassment for not playing along and voluntarily giving up your privacy.
What can you do about it?
See how happy we can all be if you just get with the program?This is certainly a perfect opportunity to be a thorn in the side of your Congress humans. Not that I think they will care one little bit. Unless perhaps your Representative happens to be Daniel Webster, Jeff Duncan, or Justin Amash.
You can try simple avoidance techniques, but those field agents are a wily bunch and very determined not to let your privacy remain intact. Perhaps it’s better to take the advice of the Rutherford Institute and hit it head on. They’ve provided strategies in the article linked above and have created a form letter that you may send off to the Census Bureau.
Apparently a Chicago Bear is good for something after all.
This recipe is by famed Italian chef Lidia Bastianich (although I’ve changed the narrative). Don’t be fooled by the ease and simplicity of this cake. The final result is unexpectedly delicious. It’s also perfect for anyone afraid of decorating a cake, as it finishes to a beautiful golden brown that needs no ornamentation. 
6. Pour the cake batter into the prepared pan, spreading it evenly. Sprinkle 1 tsp flour on the fruit and shake to coat evenly. Sprinkle the fruit over the cake batter, then lightly swirl the fruit into the batter. It doesn’t need to be fully submerged.
I must emphasize that this dish can be made as spicy or as mild as your taste dictates. Make sure you use a smoked pepper powder, or add some smoked paprika to the mix. We like it so spicy (mmmmm habaneros!) that most of our guests don’t even dare try it. Those who do, generally curse us while performing their morning rituals the next day.
Fruit, sugar, sparkling wine, fresh herbs. Can it get any easier? No, it can’t. Don’t bring a boring, uninspired carton of Ben & Jerry’s next time you’re asked to contribute a summer dessert to a dinner party. Really, don’t be that guy.
