Author: Old Man With Candy

  • It’s Wednesday Morning: Rechts oder Links?

    Guess what day it is! GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS!!!

    Well, no, it’s a day where (unusually) OMWC pinch-hits on links. I was tempted to make them all sports, but the Orioles are depressing me. So it will be the usual mixed bag, starting with…

    Proof that Team Red is as worthless of a sack of shit as Team Blue.  Wouldn’t it be nice if there were some political party that would, I dunno, FOLLOW THE FUCKING CONSTITUTION?

    And speaking of hilariously inept Team Blue, DWS is getting her floppy dugs caught in a wringer. Of course the reason given is “racism.” I’m not making that up. And of course, as always, she’ll skate and low level folks will get hypovehiculated. Which is totally different and not at all racism.

    You have to wonder if the Iranians are risking encountering a US Navy captain who is a former MPS cop and is easily startled. They could become deceased. The passive voice in the headline is unintentionally funny.

    OMWC predicts tomorrow’s headlines: Listeria Outbreak!

    Peter North Hardest Hit.

     

     

  • Jewsday Tuesday: Literature to Slit Your Wrists By

    I will admit to a deep love of all things American. Whether it’s music, food, art, or literature, I love and favor the styles and practitioners of distinctly  American art forms and styles. At our best, we don’t just appropriate, we blend and extend, we incorporate the experience of a country and culture that uniquely takes in and assimilates the best and strongest and produces alloys of vibrancy and depth. Only America could produce a Duke Ellington or a Mark Twain or a Grant Wood.

    Part of the American literary alloy is the remarkable blossoming of Jewish literary art in the 20th century and the manner in which it helped shaped our common culture, rather than confining itself to a Ghetto incomprehensible to outsiders as was the case for Jewish letters in Europe or the Middle East. As usual, I’m going to be a bit self-indulgent and talk about my favorite American Jewish (lack of hyphen deliberate) writer, who would probably count as my favorite fiction writer, period. And although there’s much love for (((literati))) like Philip Roth and Saul Bellow, not to mention Ayn Rand (whom I think is highly overrated), in my mind, the quintessential American Jew writer was Bernard Malamud. Malamud did not have the prolific output of a Roth or Bellow, nor the ostentatious profundity of Rand, but what he crafted was perfectly cut and polished literary gems, where every word carried impact and meaning.

    There was no contrived uplift or optimism in his work- Malamud explored the dark side of personal struggle, the difficulty of transformation, the futility of escape. Perhaps that’s why his work is becoming increasingly unfamiliar in this increasingly unserious century. And perhaps his oeuvre will be rediscovered a hundred years from now with astonishment that it was allowed to languish. I can only hope.

    Malamud’s best known novels, The Fixer and The Natural were certainly brilliant and deserve the fame that they achieved. I should note that if you saw the execrable movie version of the latter, you have no idea of what the novel was about, and you need to read it- in true Hollywood style, the thrust of the book, “you can never redeem yourself” transmuted to “you can always redeem yourself,” and the wonderful surrealism of the novel is totally lost.

    But in my mind, his very best novel was the semi-autobiographical and fairly obscure A New Life, whose nominal plot involves a young man with an almost stereotypical New York background moving to Oregon to take an academic position at the fictional Cascadia College, a thinly-disguised version of Oregon State. The protagonist, Sy Levin, discards (or tries to) the baggage of his life in an attempt at freedom- and that is really what the book is about, liberty and personal transformation. It is not a “Jewish” novel in any sense beyond the ethnicity of Levin- his Jewishness is incidental, not integral. And escape and transformation happen, but in ways that the protagonist (and the reader) might not expect. The ending is at once ambiguous and hopeful. This theme of transformation and liberty, to me, elevates it beyond its genre and into the ranks of great American novels. Part of the reason it spoke to me was that I first read it in my 20s, when I was an instructor at a very goyish western university, shortly after escaping the East Coast and in the process of my own transformation. I felt very much like I *was* Sy Levin; nonetheless, coming back to it later in life, the novel had lost none of its punch or power, and I was able to see things in it that had escaped me as a younger man.

    Many novelists are shitty short-story writers and vice versa; Malamud was superb at both. His most famous collection of short stories, The Magic Barrel, won the National Book Award in 1959, sandwiched between John Cheever’s Wapshot Chronicles and Philip Roth’s Goodbye Columbus. But again, for me, there was better: Idiots First, from 1963. Undeservedly obscure, not even meriting its own Wikipedia entry.

    So, let me throw two samples out there which, to me, perfectly encapsulate Malamud’s brilliance and prose style. First, a short excerpt from A New Life, highlighting Malamud’s craftsman approach and delightfully bitter humor:

    And a link to a short story which is more typical Malamud in theme, surrealism, and insightful depression, The Jewbird. Take ten minutes to read it, then go slit your wrists.

  • I Can’t Believe I’m Up This Early Sunday Links

    We got back home from a concert at the wee hours; I’ll just say that Howard Levy is beyond amazing. But links hath murdered sleep, so here you are.

    Verizon throws out the first pitch in Throttle Season. I think they must have been doing this while I was putting this post together because our ‘Net is running so slowly. Or maybe it’s the tentacle porn videos that webdominatrix is downloading. I keep telling her, stop talking to Heroic Mulatto, but like all children, she stubbornly refuses to listen to mom and dad.

    The first of a new series of massively expensive military toys was rolled out. Do you know what would have been great? If it had been launched by Chevy Chase, and then fallen over.

    In local Chicagoland news, this was embarrassing. Swiss Servator hardest hit.

    Look, I’m as glad as anyone that McCain is about to be involuntarily term-limited, but Jesus Fucking H Presentable Christ, try to be a little more classy.

    And finally, I love living in a world that has things like this in it.

  • First Shots Fired in the Tax Wars

    Now that Team Red has demonstrated their utter hackery by suddenly changing their minds about dismantling the government-controlled health insurance system and demonstrating their deep and abiding love for expansive government, the next ripe target is so-called “tax reform.” Team Blue is already manning the ramparts in the certain fear that any adjustments in the tax code will be away from their moneybags and toward the Team Red moneybags (we know for certain that actually cutting taxes and pushing all the moneybags away from the trough is as likely as the sudden heat death of the Universe).

    So it was with that thought in mind that I approached a Vox article written by the reliably mendacious Matt Yglesias as a general hit-piece on Trump. The article doesn’t disappoint, it was the expected (and at this point yawn-inducing) brew. The section on taxes drew my attention: as expected, the well-past-damn-lies use of statistics, cherry-picked quotes, emotional appeals, and the Diana Moon Glampers view of the purpose of economic manipulation.

    Back on the policy front, Trump says of his tax plan that “if you add what the people are going to save in the middle income brackets, if you add that to what they’re saving with health care, this is like a windfall for the country, for the people.”

    Trump’s actual tax plan would raise taxes on millions of Americans while delivering a windfall to the rich…

    According to the Tax Policy Center, the average American family would see its after-tax income rise by about $760, while families in the top 1 percent of the income distribution would see their incomes rise by about $175,000 — more than triple the total household income of the median American. Trump’s plan also features a big corporate tax cut.

     

    Now, being the sort of suspicious and cynical guy that I am, and admittedly not a news junkie, I wondered if the part about “would raise taxes on millions of Americans” was complete bullshit, the usual dishonest conflation of “tax rates” with “taxes,” or even “millions of Americans” being people in the dreaded 1%. So I followed the links to the source, the Tax Policy Center, which according to Wikipedia is “non-partisan.” From the article:

    Without those revenue-raisers, nearly all US households would get a tax reduction, averaging about $4,400. The tax cuts would be highly regressive, with high income households getting much more than those with low- or middle-incomes. However, if a half-dozen tax hikes are included in a revenue package, the average tax cut would shrink to about $2,300 and about one-in-five households would pay more tax than under current law.

    OK, this was the expected mendaciousness- the tax cuts are significant, and surprise surprise! the folks who pay more taxes get proportionately more reduction (i.e., the rate would be the same or smaller, but applied against a larger number). I guess that’s what they mean by “regressive.”

    It was the very next several paragraphs which floored me:

    TPC could not model an actual Trump tax plan since far too many critical details are unknown. For instance, the Administration has been sending mixed signals about whether it wants a tax bill to raise as much revenue as current law or whether it prefers a version that reduces overall taxes and add to the deficit.

    Beyond those threshold questions, the White House outline left out many critical details. For instance, during the campaign, candidate Trump said he’d increase the standard deduction but eliminate both the personal exemption and head of household filing status. The April outline repeated the promise to boost the standard deduction but was silent on the two revenue-raisers.

    In other words, “We have no idea of what the plan we’re criticizing actually is.” But it gets better:

    As a result, TPC created a stylized version of what the key elements of a Trump plan might look like. It first analyzed the tax cuts that the White House outlined in April, adding key assumptions to fill in unspecified details. For instance, TPC assigned income ranges to the proposed tax brackets, which the Administration did not.

    In other words, WE JUST MADE THIS SHIT UP OURSELVES. And THAT was what got cited, and Yglesias still had to apply the usual lying sack of shit spin and misquotation to it.

    Ladies and Gentlemen, Journalism Circa 2017.

  • Saturday Morning Post, No Rockwell: Links

    Back in the day, there was a weird cult called est. You youngsters wouldn’t believe how big a deal it was, given its total (and deserved) obscurity today. In any case, the audience was locked in a room with a trainer for a weekend, with notoriously long stretches between pee breaks. The first thing the trainer would say was, “You’re all assholes!” That was the last true thing the audiences would hear all weekend. And so it is here, as I present links to fake news to you, my beloved assholes.

    As much as I hate Trump for appointing a jackbooted authoritarian like Sessions to the top law enforcement post, I have to admit that some of his other appointees are pretty impressive. Still not enough for me to ever forgive him, change my low opinion of him, or give him my vote in the next election, but we do have to admit to small rays of light.

    How could anyone object to Amazon acquiring Whole Foods and making it better, stronger, and helping make good food more accessible? Oh yes, I forgot. Democrats. Now, why could they possible object beyond the cheap schadenfreude of fucking up business deals? Oh yes, I forgot. Big money contributors.

    [The Democratic congresschimp] letter was made public by the United Food and Commercial Workers union (UFCW), which represents many of the unionized grocery workers in the United States.
    “Political concerns about Amazon’s acquisition of Whole Foods are growing for good reason,” UFCW President Marc Perrone said on Friday. “Amazon’s monopolistic desire to control the retail market and replace good jobs with automation is not only a direct threat to the hard-working men and women at Whole Foods, it’s also a direct threat to our economy and consumers.”

    Heaven forbid better prices and service to consumers.

    In other news, this is warped.

    If Chipotle were authentic, this would be in the food, not on it.

    Apparently, I’m the wrong kind of doctor. If I had spent my years as a grad student and post-doc pursuing medicine instead, I could have been this guy.

    No sports news because football season hasn’t started yet and the Orioles have returned to their sucky ways.

    And I leave you all with music from my youth. Difficult, complex, and brilliant music.

  • Jewsday Tuesday: I got nothin’

    Boring Torah sedrah this week. Nothing remarkable in the Middle East (other than Palestinians driving like elderly Florida Jews). No prominent Member of the Tribe doing something stupid on a newsworthy level. My brain is fried from work and trying to get an actual paying article finished. SP vetoed my idea about Best Christian Baby recipes. So… I got nothin’.

    If you want something serious, Eddie wrote a mini-book in Afternoon Links. Me, all I wanna do is have some fun. So before I start pounding alcoholic beverages with the estimable SP, I have some assorted pix to toss out, all stolen from various spots on the Web. Feel free to caption any of them if it strikes your fancy.

    I would have thought this tasteless, but my dog actually has one of these outfits, a Hanukkah present from Grand Moff Serious Man.

    Jeremiah Wright, call for you on Line 3.

    This was a scene from my last visit out to see jesse, Playa, Los Doyers, and Mad Scientist. And once I was there…

    This is seriously how SP envisioned me when we first met. Joke’s on her, I guess:

    And this made my day:

    But my motives are clearly ulterior:

  • Can We Unfuck Representative Government?

    Here’s a proposal for a different way of representation to be determined by election, the so-called Fair Vote Act. Putting aside my pet peeve about that sort of naming (as well as ostentatiously “designed” logos and pleas for donation), there’s some interesting points here that I’d love to see argued over so we can get an honest idea of the pros and cons of this proposal. My own take so far is that I’m frankly not in favor of more “democracy” nor “making government work better.” But… anything with the potential to break the Mafia stronghold of Team Red and Team Blue (and their respective donors) has merits worth discussing.

    One thing that stood out to me is the strong probability of total gridlock and ineffectiveness. But perhaps there’s a downside as well.

    Talk amongst yourselves.

  • Sunday Morning Slacker Links

    Yahweh is punishing you )))people((( for not keeping kosher.

    Seriously, what the fuck is it about Boston and massive police over-reaction? “De-escalation” is apparently too many syllables for cops to understand. But hey, I’m sure procedures were followed, officer safety was paramount, and no-one will suffer any consequences, other than the dead kid and his family. And that’s only fair, right?

    Sometimes, the elderly will die during routine surgery. We can only hope. It’s a pity that’s what it takes to get career politicians with a deep sense of Top Man entitlement to exit the stage- there is no modern Cincinnatus.

    “If only the government could be more efficient at scooping up rent for me.” Fuck you, Jamie, gridlock is the second best thing that could happen. I’m embarrassed to be the same species as you are.

    Expanded health insurance choice to devastate America. Women and Minorities Hardest Hit. Because if you don’t force SP and me to pay for maternity insurance, we could suddenly have a baby that we can’t afford. Hey, it’s not totally crazy, Yahweh did that to Abraham and Sarah, and you can’t be too careful.

    Goddammit, now all I want to do is day-drink. News is so fucking depressing.

  • Saturday Morning Hangover Links

    It’s been a long week chez Candy, so SP and I decided that Zinfandel from Mendocino (one of the most interesting wine regions in California) would be an appropriate finish. I’m paying for that this morning. But with great power comes great responsibility, so I’m gritting my teeth against the clicking of the keyboard (goddamn, can’t I silence this damn thing?) and actually trying to put up a few interesting stories for you wonderful top-hatted folks to ignore.

    Here’s an absolute shocker: a guy on TV news thinks Trump is a liar and has the courage to say so. This is unprecedented, and the story gives this delicious quote:

    Most journalists are reluctant to use the L-word — “lie.”

    Huh. That’s right, I never saw that before. No reporter ever said that about Bush or Trump. This is a badge of COURAGE, speaking truth to power.

    Another stunner– if you comment publicly to the Feds about voter registration, the information you provide is made… public. Pick me up off the floor.

    What the UK needs is commonsense pH control.

    Iceberg Panic is in fashion this week. I am amused and not at all surprised that CNN chose as a writer someone they describe as “a columnist for CNN who focuses on climate change and social justice.”

    Sanity from Slate, which explains the theme photo above. Seriously, this must signal the end of the world.

    And a personal music indulgence- a song from my teen years that not only still speaks to me, but also has maybe the best bass line of any rock song I’ve ever heard (with the possible exception of the Beatles’s Hey Bulldog).

     

     

  • A selfish plea for NAV ERP help

    One of the bennies of being a site admin is the ability to abuse it for personal gain. In this case, professional, and there’s money involved.

    Here’s the deal: at my day job, we use NAV for our ERP. We need to develop a database system which will integrate with NAV to store our product ingredient lists, where we can dynamically change the quantities to reflect changes in raw materials. Right now, that’s done through a half-assed Excel system, with NAV having nominal formulas to pull from inventory. We want to improve that process by having NAV be able to pull from the database.

    The project was thrown at me, but since my boss realizes that I only have a vague idea of what a database is or how to use NAV (hey, I’m a scientist, not a computer geek), he told me I can contract the work out. So, since I have an audience with some very smart IT people in it, I wanted to toss out the opportunity here to make a few shekels by making me look good. If this looks like it’s in your wheelhouse, please raise your hand and I’ll contact you offline so we can scope out the project and get it quoted.