Author: sloopyinca

Good morning!  Yesterday sure was an interesting day.  TCU bounced aTm from the CWS. The Astros won. Everybody seems to be getting jazzed up for one of the weakest NBA drafts ever. But the biggest sports story happened off the field. (Rolls eyes) I guess they didn’t have room to report on how his recruiting, and performance in The Game, is sadly lagging his contemporary to the south. But whatever. The thing that pisses me off so bad is that they’re deleting comments making fun of the publicity-hound. Oh well, the only thing that matters are championships and wins in The Game. And based on his performance in those two categories, he’s a failure.  So carry on, Jimmy. You keep getting press and St Urban will keep getting gold pants.

::wipes spittle from computer monitor::

OK, that’s enough ranting. Let’s delve into…the links!

Jon Ossoff will be happy that he’s represented by a Democrat in the US Congress. Of course, that’s because he lives in GA-05, not in GA-06. GA-06 will be represented by Karen Handel, who absolutely smoked him last night and made everybody from Nate Silver to all the other pollsters that had her chances of winning well below 50%. Hell, the race was three points outside the margin of error on almost all the polls. (TW: HuffPo piece. I would bring a 55 gallon barrel for the tears. But also be prepared for every conspiracy you can think of that doesn’t include aliens.)

Alternate headline for this story: In a Selfish Act, Asshole Kills Himself, Endangers Others on Public Street. I wonder if taxpayers will be on the hook for a survivorship pension for the next 30-40 years.  I also wonder if they’re gonna find that he was “involved?” with one of those students he worked with. Because happy, well-grounded people don’t off themselves while literally driving down the street.

Just in case you were worried you wouldn’t find the most retarded ass story imaginable today to read, fear not! I found it for you. (TW: Salon going full fucking Salon.)

Stephen Hawking is feeling pretty generous…with other peoples’ money. Hey, Stevie. Why don’t you run a bake sale instead of trying to put your robot hand into my pocket to fund your little ideas. Besides, we’ve already been to the damn moon. The greatest human being ever, and sharer of my birthday, was the first man to set foot on it.

Some dude, whose name reminds me of having water sprayed up my asshole, finally quit his job. I guess the pressure finally got to him. Or he ran out of sexist jokes.  Either way, its probably time they found a professional COP to run the show.

And lastly, in strange shit, Texas people can be just as weird as their contemporaries from Florida. However, I will go ahead and say that’s a nice rack.

Innuendo.

That’s it, friends. Go out and have a great day. I may be underwater by tomorrow morning if this damn storm Cindy makes landfall in the wrong place. Let’s cross our fingers it doesn’t.

Well, good morning! I hope y’all had a pleasant Juneteenth yesterday. Mine was alright.  Got some work done, built some furniture for my son and celebrated the littlest one’s (Justice Forall Sloopy Juneteenth Spicer) birthday. I bring it up because every time I have an anniversary, or every time one of my younger kids has a birthday, it makes me thankful for the group of people assembled here and at reason because they were such an integral part of my wife and I meeting and starting our family. So thanks to all of you, in an indirect way.

Looks like the NBA teams are trying to shake a few things up in order to compete with the Warriors next year (which probably won’t work). The Celtics are looking to get better value for their draft picks (which probably will work). The Lakers are trying to not completely suck ass for another year (but they probably will). But in the end…its still pro basketball and it still sucks compared to hockey, football, baseball, soccer, rugby, cricket, curling, badminton, UFC, college basketball and the spelling bee.  Sorry, that’s just how I feel.

Hey, Tiger Woods is “getting professional help.”  Which is usually code for “I’m preemptively trying to get on the judge’s good side before my trial.” Unless it means he’s getting the professional help he really needs. Which would involve Butch Harmon moving in with him and dedicating all of his time to reconstructing a swing that works. But that ain’t happening and the slide into mediocrity will continue and Jack Nicklaus’s record will stand. Which is only fitting, seeing as Nicklaus is the greatest golfer of all time.

Astros won! And in college, Florida State is hanging in there after knocking CSF out of the CWS. And meanwhile, Oregon State is managing to avoid the distractions that pederasty usually brings with it and won again.

That’s it for sports. Notice I’m struggling mightily with it now that playoff season’s over? I warned you.  But only 69 days till college football! We can do this together, friends. And either way, its not about sports here.  It’s about…the links!

Who will win father of the year? Nanny-staters probably think it should be this guy. As for me, I think he should (metaphorically) be chucked head-first into a woodchipper. Christ, what an asshole.

Damn, Carrie Fisher went out like a champ. I guess she was trying to get into character for the Leia Organa scenes she hadn’t filmed yet (didn’t work). Or she was trying to get back into that costume (was never gonna work). Or she was trying to get into heaven a little smoother (apparently did work).

That Georgia special election will come to a close today. I hope it means I will stop getting tweets, fundraising emails and incessant reports about it, whoever wins. Make your predictions in the comments as to the outcome. I personally think Team Red will squeak it out but Team Blue will declare it a (yet another) moral victory in the string of moral victories since November.

That student that North Korea returned to the United States has died. He was in a coma when returned last week.

It gets more expensive to live in San Francisco. New labor deal is reason for increase, says company granted monopoly for trash removal by city.

What to do when you run your school system so poorly that kids can’t learn how to fucking read by the time they drop out of high school in the 9th grade?  Why, you double down on the retardation! This might be the worst idea since the Twilight series.  Hell, it may even be worse since Stephanie Miller didn’t know any better but this assclown does.

That’s it. Thanks for making it through. Y’all deserve a balloon.

Have a great day, friends!

LATE ADDENDUM!!!! : we want your ideas in what you’d like to be able to buy, if anything, for swag. We already have a tshirt, bumper stickers and coffee mugs with the official Glibs logo in the works. But we want to know what else you guys might be interested in. I’m prepared to ask Heroic Mullato to design a “Thicc Thursday” shirt we can all proudly wear. And somebody proposed a Warty’s Dungeon and a STEVE SMITH thingy. But we want to know what you guys want so we can provide you with the fodder to attract new readers or get you fired from your jobs. Or both. So let us know!

Man, that US open was off the hook. Probably the most entertaining golf tournament I’ve seen in a while. (Note to USGA: people really, really, really enjoy compelling golf, and it doesn’t have to include tricking out a golf course so its nearly unplayable!) Brooks Koepka ended up getting the hot hand down the stretch and won by 3. Sorry Rickie Fowler fans. Looks like he’ll continue his chase to being the next Sergio Garcia…and will win his first major a decade or so from now.

And in other sport news, Pakistan absolutely demolished India in the Champions Cup cricket final. After bowling out the first two India batsmen in the first two overs, the rout was on and India’s innings were done in the thirtieth over. There were almost a billion people expected to tune in.

Astros lost 2 of 3 to the Red Sox and continue to disappoint their way to still having the best record in the major leagues by a good margin.

Righto! Now on with…the links!

Loretta Lynch now in crosshairs of GOP-led Congressional oversight committees. The racist and sexist old white men committee chiefs tasked with looking into executive branch activities are expected to summon her to Capitol Hill to answer a few questions in light of James Comey’s testimony.

Somebody standing watch on this Navy vessel fucked up badly.  There’s almost no other explanation for the collision that claimed the lives of 7 crewmen.

Want to test the bounds of the Non-Aggression Principle? These assholes will do it to you.

The special election in Georgia’s 6th Congressional District has now cost over $50 million. Just goes to show you that these fuckers have way, way too much power.

The Electric Daisy Carnival still gives newsmen the vapors.  I bet there were fewer incidents than at a typical Vegas NASCAR Winston Cup, er Nextel Series, no, I meant Sprint Series no, no, no…Monster Energy Series race.

Don’t worry. I’m not gonna subject you to techno. But there will be synths.

Make it a great day, friends.

BONUS LATE LINK: REAL FEMENISM!!!!!!!!! (No, seriously. Which is gonna cause a few panties to get soiled.)

Hoo-boy! Was I ever wrong about the scores at the US Open. Rickie Fowler is leading the way at -7.  That’s right…-7. At the US open. Now I don’t know how well those scores will hold up if the wind kicks up a bit and the rains stay away (which I hope will happen), but that’s a Byron Nelson Classic score, not a US Open score on a course that’s unbelievably long. So, all things considered, it was an incredible day for a bunch of guys even with some favorable weather conditions.

Not much else in the sports world (except for one story I will address below). LaVarr Ball probably said some stupid shit. Some baseball was played (but the Astros were off). And the NCAA dropped the hammer on Louisville and Rick Pitino  for hiring strippers and whores for basketball prospects. An incredulous Rick Pitino said he has lost faith in the NCAA.  The same Rick Pitino that has gotten every college team he has coached in trouble with the NCAA and has a well-earned reputation for being a sleazy, underhanded cunt. I know there are a few Louisville fans here, but I’m sorry. Your coach is cancer.

That’s it. So now we’re on to…the links!

Stop trying to make this shit happen. Nobody with an ounce of brains or sanity wants it to happen. And the marketplace of a few Brooklyn neighborhoods ain’t enough to sustain profitability. Those rooftop beekeepers and unicycle enthusiasts on a staycation do not represent the American man.

The only people more retarded than the ones in that above link are the ones in this link. Seriously. What. The. Fuck?

Here’s the aforementioned sports story: The National Baseball Hall Of Fame has upheld Pete Rose’s lifetime ban. The one he voluntarily signed when he admitted to having gambled on baseball while he was a manager.  Good. Fuck Pete Rose. I drove by Jonathan’s Cafe in Franklin, Ohio in the morning a million times growing up and saw his Lamborghini with “4192” on the license plates on plenty of those trips. Everybody knew he was in there gambling. Everybody knew it was against the rules. And I have no sympathy for the asshole that turned me off from baseball for damn near a decade when I grew up idolizing him from the green seats behind first base at Riverfront. I hope he gets into the Hall…about two weeks after they chuck his dead body in the dirt.

Oregon ignores science. What’s surprising is that they beat California and Washington.

We do things right in Texas. (Photos worth looking at for gun nuts)

Check off another box in the “winning” column for President Trump. A small box, but still.

Yeah, I know its garbage.

That’s it. Go out there and have a great day, friends!

Well thank God yesterday is over. The toxic levels of retardation I waded through on the internet in reaction to the shooting in NoVa nearly did me in for a while. Fortunately, I realized the responsibility, nay the pleasure, I have been granted in getting to put together morning links for this great place that I battled through and found joy later in the day.

And the Astros won. Which is nice seeing as its been a little uncommon the past week. And the US Open starts this morning. And even though this course is retardedly difficult, almost comically so, its still the best tournament in golf to watch…by far.

Anyway, look past all the fuckery and find bright things out there. Sometimes its all we got. Well, that and…the links!

I will link to one dose of retardation so strong that it might give you cancer to read it. There’s so much wrong with this that there’s nowhere to begin.  This newspaper has slid to the point its little more than a propaganda piece for the Team Blue/Deep State complex.

Gorsuch seems to be settling in just fine. And he’s filling the shoes Scalia molded for him pretty well.

Christ, what an asshole. (And no, I don’t mean the cop.)

I can’t even try to come up with a clever rejoinder for this. But I’m sure you sick bastards will.

OK, who forgot to put the gas cap back on?

Sleazy politicians are sleazy. Film at 11:00.

Had enough assholes already?  So have I. So the last link is about the exact opposite from the people that normally make the news.

Fuuuuuuunky.

Go out there and avoid the derp, friends!

See, I didn’t think this quick sports update through. Because this is Day 1 of the post-playoff and post-NHL and NBA updates. There’s no soccer either, unless you want to talk about the world’s best player (arguably) getting charged with tax fraud by Spain. Oh wait, the EPL Fixture list (or what we’d call a schedule here in God’s country) is out for next season. That’s actually quite newsworthy to a lot of you.  Looks like Liverpool get hit hard early. And Chelsea-Spurs in Week 2 ought to be fun.

What else…oh yeah, the Astros continue to play like ass after I talked them up for two weeks. I’ll shut it until they start winning again.  Which should be in 3…2…1.

Actually, here’s a pretty interesting story. Albeit, a very looooong one. Let’s see how she does on the first muffed hold. But seriously, I’m rooting for her. Because she’s got a good rack and some muscly legs.

OK, I can only dither so long. You know it and I know it. So let’s get on into…the links!

A faulty refrigerator and lack of proper safety equipment leads to massive fire in London high rise apartment building. 6 dead, and that number will rise dramatically as there are still several dozen people missing. Hey, everybody. (Seriously) go check your damn smoke alarms today.

Sessions goes off during Senate Intellegence Committee hearing. Calls collusion suggestion “a detestable lie”. Spars with every Dem on the committee…none of which bothered asking questions about collusion or knowledge of any real interference. In other words, it was pretty much a shitshow where everybody on both sides will conclude their team won and nobody will admit this is a goddamn witch hunt and a circus with nothing but clowns. And I fucking hate clowns.

You guys like weird shit, yeah? Here’s some weird shit. Glad to know she’s still getting paid. Wouldn’t want to see her suffer.

Texas governor sets agenda for special session. Some good. Some bad. Some ugly.

When believing an accuser with zero corroboration goes wrong. I think the first indication that she was full of shit should have occurred to any logical person the first time they looked at her. I mean, come on.

Just what the world needs. Avocados are becoming even more dangerous.

4…3…2…1

Go out there and have a great day, friends…right after you check those smoke alarms.

Golden State won. And managed to milk another home game and about $10M by sandbagging in game 4. Tempers flared, but apparently no nuts were grabbed.  I had to get all that second-hand because I was not watching the game. Instead, I was watching and explaining My Fair Lady to my 34 year old wife and college graduate with a degree in Theater who had somehow never seen the movie in her life.  Seriously, how does that happen? Also, an interesting contrast between the two metro areas that the finals were contested in.

US Open week is under way in earnest. Can’t wait to see how many players put a sickle in their bag in place of a long iron. From what I’ve seen of the rough, it might not be a bad idea.

I don’t want to talk baseball. I am starting to think I am jinxing the Astros, who have had a rough week since reeling off 11 in a row. So I’m just gonna keep my mouth shut on that front.

Anyway, that’s it. The pickings will get slimmer on sports for the next 76 days until college football starts. Unless some stupid shit happens.  I guess we’ll have to wait and see.  In the meantime, here are…the links!

Here’s some money in politics that might create a conflict of interest. I can’t wait for Team Blue to recommend they recuse themselves.

Anybody ever see an attorney pretty much give up on defending their client in the middle of a trial? Apparently, that’s what just happened yesterday afternoon. Maybe the dude had diarrhea and needed to GTFO, but a six minute defense and a closing statement that all but said “fuck it” is otherwise inexplicable. (There might be an autoplay video there. If so, sorry.)

This is in the LA Times today. You could have knocked me over with a feather when I saw that well-written and sober analysis there. Shouldn’t be long before that writer is disowned and their subscribers are dropping like flies.

Hey Florida Man, hold my beer. (Well, not a beer at this age, but give us a few years…and a lot of prayers we live through them.)

The evul rethuglicans are killing the environment in California.  Well, that and global warming. Oh wait, never mind. Its something else entirely.  Also, minorities hardest hit.

I hate to do this, but I’ve got to finish with a big, swift kick in the nuts.

Some sage advice for our single Glibs.

Have a great day, friends!

Well, that’s over. The Penguins overcame a series of penalties in the third period, including an extended period where they were facing a 5 on 3 , and scored late on a fluke shot from behind the goal to beat the Nashville Predators in Game 6 and win the Stanley Cup for the second consecutive year. Of course, that fails to mention the official inexplicably whistling a play dead in the second period where the puck was sitting in the crease and a Nashville player was about to knock it in the goal to take the lead. Nashville fans were justifiably salty about that at the end of the game. But I guess it doesn’t matter.  Adding insult to injury, Sidney Crosby won the Conn Smythe Trophy for playoff MVP.

In soccer news, the US pretty much played defense all game except for a few off chances and an incredible goal from 45 yards away for Michael Bradley. It resulted in a 1-1 tie against Mexico on the road and sets them up in decent shape for the rest of the World Cup qualification, assuming Brad Guzan does more than be a statue when somebody puts a shot on goal from 20 yards out.

UPDATE: And in tennis, unseeded Jelena Ostapenko won the women’s French Open in a match that nobody seemed able to hold serve in. And Rafael Nadal absolutely demolished Stan Wawrinka on the men’s side. Happened so fast, I forgot to even mention it. Sorry, straffinrun.

Also, the Astros are on a bit of a slide. Something like losing 4 of the last 6 games. They better get it together with the Rangers coming to town otherwise their lead might shrink to 10.

Aaaaand that’s it for sports. Basketball is up tonight. My guess is it gets closed out and Draymond Green grabs someone in the nuts. And Steve Kerr will get a technical foul for it or something. Whatever, here are…the links!

Grandstanders gonna grandstand. I’m sure their intentions are pure.  If you think this is deliberately partisan, you must be a fan of Drumphy McHitler.

You can take our statue when you pry it from our cold, dead fingers. Good for these guys. Its time this erasure of history came to an abrupt halt.

Whoa! You mean to tell me that not every company out there panders to the left? How long before people protest the protesting companies? I expect it in 3…2…1…

R.I.P. Adam West, you freaky sonofabitch. Seriously, dude thought he was Bob Crane or something.

Lastly, an interesting story about a river in Egypt. Or something.

Well, one more for the pervs. (Not sure if SFW)

Gibberish sells apparently.

Have a great day, friends!

Mens tennis semifinals just getting started so no news there yet. U-S-A! U-S-A! beat the Trinadadians (and the Toboggans) 2-0 in World Cup qualifying. And now…Mexico awaits. The NBA Finals might very well wrap up tonight. And Ohio State gets turned down by Creighton’s coach for the basketball job, which is fine by me. I think they need to offer the job to Bobby Knight for an interim year and do a more deliberate search than the one Gene Smith has inexplicably thrown on them. Either way, its not a good situation at the moment at the Schottenstein Center, but it’ll get better soon I hope.

And then onto Nashville-Pittsburgh. The Penguins took a serious chance sitting on the two field goal lead knowing that a Predators touchdown and extra point would have been dev…oh wait, wrong sport. They absolutely and without exception demolished Nashville. Which I expect the favor to be returned tomorrow night since home teams have dominated so far, one period in Pittsburgh notwithstanding.

Well the Buffett concert last night was quite a lot of fun. Will do again next year when he comes, I would imagine. And I highly recommend if he’s coming near any of you. I also recommend getting there around noon, cause those fuckers tailgate like its college gameday.

Anyhoo…let’s get down to business with…the links!

Did I watch the same Comey hearing yesterday as Dick Wolffe? Because his insane takeaway is very different than mine. Or almost any other journalist’s not affiliated with the far left.

May forced to form coalition government after Tories shit the proverbial bed in British elections. I’m sure Salon will call it a referendum on Donald Trump. But I ain’t going there to find out. The pound dropped like a rock as a result.

Winner Loser In Bail Hearing. Does that sentence make any sense at all? Can a winner be a loser? I’m not sure. But a Winner sure can sit in jail until her trial starts, according to a US magistrate judge.

Massacre at Pulse nightclub remembered by Kissimmee Pride group. I wish they’d honor the people killed by allowing individuals to defend themselves when psychopathic members of a death cult target groups for murder because they don’t adhere to the same belief system.

Dearbornistan man to face charges for aiding terrorist group. No word which sect of Amish he’s been linked to yet. Or is it the Mennonites? Maybe its a different group altogether.

This is the last thing mankind needs right now. Because somebody is gonna recreate dinosaurs, I just know it.

Silver? Gold? They can’t hold a candle to the power of a hot chick.

Have a great day, friends!