Author: sloopyinca

How would you like to be Dodgers pitcher Rich Hill today?  Ouch, that was a brutal end to a (nearly) perfect game.  Elsewhere, the Orioles won. The Red Sox beat up on the Indians. The dreaded Yankees beat the hapless Tigers. The Cubbies thumped the BIG RED MACHINE again. The D-backs fell to the Mets. Team Canada took out the Rays. The Mariners won. The Twins fell to the White Sox. The Cards won and the Rockies lost.  And in the big game, the Astros took down the Nationals to even up that series. The rubber match is tonight.

No real surprises across the pond in the UEFA Campions League play in round. Coutinho is still a Liverpool man. The draw for the aforementioned UCL is coming up in less than 5 hours, by the way.  And in other news, that McGregor-Mayweather fiasco is almost upon us.  Thank God we will be able to put it behind us soon.  Of course, then we will be able to hype up the rematch which will be coming around next Easter.

And we are officially one week away from Ohio State’s season of redemption.  7 days and 12 hours, to be exact. And our weekly installment of the college football column is also a week away.  Plan on being wowed every Thursday afternoon/evening.  I won’t give anything else away.  I’ve probably said too much already.

Well now that we’ve touched all the bases (just like Josh Harrison last night!) on sports, we can get down to business.  I present you with…the links!

Man confronts hobos. Hobos not happy about it.  I was prepared to make a “Are you employed, sir?” Lebowski joke but I thought it beneath the highbrow humor you’re used to.

Speaking of highbrow, Nazis vs Jews beer pong probably doesn’t qualify either.  How stupid can you get? I mean, the cups won’t even line up right and bounces will be way different than a traditional board layout.

Illinois Democrat gubernatorial candidate socially signals. I wonder if they’ll go very deep into the brutal history of so many tribes that went so far as to eat their enemies?  Or will they all be portrayed as these lovable little savages that never hirt nobody as the white devils injected them with smallpox-AIDS and a million other fallacies?  One thing’s for sure: the truth will not be setting anyone free.

“Conflicting stories”, according to the paper, in incident where three protesters were injured by a man driving through them.  The story also said the driver “pushed into protesters.”  Yeah, make sure if you’re gonna report bullshit that there’s no video of it.  Because if I had been driving that car, I’d have reacted the same way if a mob surrounded me and started striking my vehicle.  Bonus points for the cops not doing a fucking thing to keep these rioters-in-waiting out of there goddamn streets where people are trying to drive their cars from Point A to Point B.

I’d be remiss without at least one article mentioning Trumputinhitler.  He actually wants the people to use national parks as they see fit.  I only have one word for that: good. because we don’t need the NPS regulating what the market can regulate better.

Yeah, we’ve got a terrible storm bearing down on us here in the Bayou City.  But we’ve got more pressing concerns.  Like the he-said, she-said in this legal battle.  The question is simple: was the barber stopping the child’s haircut to periodically jack off, or did the kid’s mom falsely accuse him to avoid paying for the haircut?  Strange times we live in, friends.  Strange times.

No, this isn’t three days late. What happened Monday was a different phenomenon altogether.

A.B.C. A-always. B-be. C-closing. Always be closing. Always be closing.

Here we are.  Together again for another day. Let’s see how our teams did yesterday first, ok?  (With apologies once again for the less sporting of you.) The Celtics made a mega-trade with the Cavs for Kyrie Irving.  I don’t quite know what to think about this one.  If Isiah stays healthy, it won’t be a great move. But that’s not exactly a given.

Everybody knows the Dodgers are gonna win. It seems like a foregone conclusion.  Until September anyway.  The Red Sox prevailed over the Indians. The Orioles fell. The Yankees rolled the Tigers. The Cubbies topped the BIG RED MACHINE. Team Canada shit the bed again. The Mariners (yes, I’m still giving you guys love in the updates) got blanked by the Braves. The Rockies fell. The Twins beat the White Sox. The Cards got throttled. And the Astros fell to the Nationals in what I would like to see as a World Series preview.

Looks like the teams everyone expected to win prevailed in the UEFA Champions League play in round. Hopefully the second half of those games today will go as scripted too. YNWA and all that shit.

Like any of you guys care a whit about soccer.  ::sigh:: Fine. Here you go with…the links!

Oh my fucking God. Could ESPN possibly ram their head any farther up their own collective ass?

Just in case you needed a laugh, watch the video here.  Play stupid games. Win stupid prizes.

Are we really to the point that we are fining people for spreading their legs now? I guess so.

More than 100 arrested in gang crackdown.  Not sure why they had to make note of their ethnicity in the story. I guess that’s just the age we live in.

I hate stories where there are no winners. This is one such story.

Everybody out there that thinks public schools aren’t so bad needs to read this.  I mean, come on.  I took my son to school the other day and there were guys at school with hair this long…in the same metro area.   This is arbitrary bullshit.

More music related to that little orb in the sky.

Go the extra mile for someone today.  Even if its yourself.

While the sun and moon were doing their dance across (white) America, there was some baseball being played.  And while it may have been unsafe or unwise to look directly at the eclipse, because not a single person ever looked directly at the sun until Trump did for a second the other day, I asked at least a dozen people who were directly in the path if they snuck a glance and every single one of them said yes. Oh well, social signalers gotta social signal.

Anyway, the sports ball! The Twins and the White Sox split a double-bill. The Orioles won. The Indians walked off the Red Sox on a little league play.  And that’s pretty much it.  The Browns improve to 2-0 in preseason games after beating the Giants.  OBJ left with an ankle sprain. And across the pond, Everton and Man Shitty played to a 1-1 draw. Oh, and the McGregor-Mayweather hype machine is kicking into high gear in anticipation of the fight of the century lopsided beatdown that’s inevitably coming.

Alright, lets talk some serious business. And the place to do that is…the links!

Trump announces recommitment to Afghan conflict “as long as we see determination and progress” from the Afghan government. No plans were released as to the number of troops, but Trump did say he will demand cooperation from the Afghans and other regional “allies” if we are to continue investing blood and treasure in the 16 year war.  Shit. I had hoped he’d just pull the plug, as he alluded to during the campaign.  Cue up the anti-war protests getting ready to find their principles again. (Except Cindy Sheehan. That lady has been doing her thing through both the last admins, so kudos to her for being genuine and sincere in her protests.)

The US Navy is concerned about cyber threats in the wake of recent collisions. Hey, I’m no genius, but unless those standing watch are hooked to VR headsets, there ain’t anything “cyber” that would keep them from spotting a freaking supertanker that’s lit up like Christmas.

Unless you’ve been under a rock for 60 years, this will be no surprise to you.  Hell, I’m just happy there’s an Uber in this day and age to get party guests home alive. Its better than carpooling with one of the hosts.

Its pretty damn sad when newspapers have to write op-eds defending the position that a statue of Christopher Columbus be left up. Pretty damn sad indeed, in an age when people should be able to walk past an inanimate object that never caused them a moment’s distress, that we are being forced to have this conversation. Even worse is that we are being forced to do so because a group of national socialists and a group of international socialists can’t keep from being assholes.  Well, for that reason and because our retarded-ass media are covering aforementioned groups off assholes like they represent half of the country.

THE GOVERNMENT MUST DO SOMETHING OR WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE A SLOW, PAINLESS DEATH!!!!!  Well, that could be the alternate headline in a sane universe. But its not.  The article is full of hand-wringing at how previous environmental building regulations have led to urban sprawl, which is now leading to increased vehicular emissions. And the guys to solve that can be no other than the guys that caused it to begin with.  (Yeah, I know. These bootlickers just gotta appeal to authority because who better to manage their lives than unelected, unaccountable bureaucrats.)

The sharks are circling. And it won’t just be Debbie Wasserman-Schultz that gets caught up in the feeding frenzy. Every single person involved in their hiring and retention of the Awan brothers, even after it was known they “lost” quite a bit of equipment, is gonna face the music.  Most media outlets, namely those who are afraid democracy will die in darkness and a self-proclaimed “paper of record” seem unimpressed with the story. But I have confidence our tweeter-in-chief will make sure it doesn’t get overlooked elsewhere.

(Speaking of Democracy Dying In Darkness, I’m shocked they didn’t have a picture of Trump right under those words as the eclipse reached its local apex. That would have been a Pulitzer-worthy bit of virtue signaling. And they blew it. Although I have a feeling they may get their chance at the next eclipse in 2023.

And in local news, some crazy asshole tried to plant a bomb on a confederate monument a mile from where Banjos works. The whole area went apeshit over it but they ended up getting him arrested without setting anything off. And the proposed solution: give in to crazy people that would do this.  Gutless bunch of cowards.  The answer to an extortion threat is to quote Liam Neeson, not to succumb. These dickheads won’t stop until they’ve destroyed every institution they don’t like. And giving them an inch at the outset is the wrong signal to send.

I can still do this every day. I don’t need a solar event.

Make sure to tell somebody you love them today.  It’ll make both of you happy.

An interesting weekend, wouldn’t you say?  Nah, you guys are too geared up for the eclipse.  Well hold your horses, its coming one way or the other. But I’m gonna touch on sports real quick.

Of course, the Astros had a good little run going but lost yesterday.  The Dodgers lost.  Seriously, they aren’t invincible.  Well, we all knew that already. I mean, all we’ve had to do is watch them play in October for the last generation to know that. The Red Sox all but put the Yankees out of the AL East race. The Orioles lost. The BIG RED MACHINE went down. The Twins thumped the D-backs. The Indians lost. The Cubbies beat Team Canada again. The Rockies lost. The Nationals won and the Cards beat the Pirates.

In preseason, the Steeiers beat the Dirty Birds and the Saints beat the Chargers.  And across the pond, Chelsea beat Spurs in their Wembley regular season debut, and Huddersfield Town win again.  The other usual suspects in European soccer won.

That’s about it. Let’s get into day turning into night and other things in…the links!

Jerry Lewis has passed away.  He was really old and had lived a full life, not only touching so much on the silver screen, but raising loads of money to fight Muscular Dystrophy.  Godspeed. The world is a slightly less good place without you.

Another US warship has collided with a merchant ship.  The USS John S McCain collided with the merchant vessel in the Strait Of Malacca over the weekend. Five sailors are injured and 10 are missing.

The Average American saves just 5% of their earnings. How does that compare to you?

President Trump disbands federal advisory committee on climate change. Pants across the country mysteriously filled with shit and the people wearing them scramble for handouts, subsidies, and new work as the lobbying dries up.

Violence and irrationality once again rewarded. This time at the UT-Austin campus.  Texas A&M sees their social signaling and raises them. Because that’s more important than upholding the First Amendment for a bunch of assclowns who we would all be better off if they were ignored.

Well I told you I’d mention the total eclipse.  And I hope you enjoy reading the dumbest story imaginable that ties the eclipse to America and her history. (Hat tip to Pope Jimbo for unearthing this masterpiece of derp.)

This guy knows what’s up today.

Get outside and see something crazy today. And enjoy those around you.

I can’t figure the Astros out.  Apparently the D-backs could yesterday since they blanked them.  The Yankees beat the MLB’s proverbial “retarded kid in a  wheelchair” for the fourth time in a row. They should be so proud.  The Indians and the Twins split a double-bill. The Nationals won. The Rockies lost. The Cards won. Team Canada won. And the Cubs lost to THE BIG RED MACHINE by a field goal.

In da preseason foosball, Philly, Tampa Bay and the Baltimore Ravens all won.  Nobody was impressed. And in the Little League World Series…nobody cared what happened because they’re little kids and one kid with a big bat or a really sweet fastball makes the game boring anyway. And college football is a mere 8 days away.  Let’s hope no more Gators players decide to do something stupid between now and then or else TTUN will win by forfeit.  ::shrug:: Maybe they can call App State up and get a game. I see their schedule is open next week.

Well it looks like we all made it through another week.  Congratulations. Unfortunately, next week will be more of the same autistic screeching and impotent rage from our media, our political parties (and not just the two major ones, but apparently the LP chief too) and the two sides in this imbecilic fight of of one-upmanship (I’m looking at you, white nationalists and anti-fa).  But until then, let’s enjoy…the links!

News you can use! Well, only if you’re an Apple user. Which, let’s face it, you ought to be. ::slaps Android across the face with white glove::

If you don’t have anything nice to say…then don’t call for the President to be assassinated. That’s what my mom always said.  No, wait. She never needed to. You know why? Because I’m not totally fucking insane enough to get elected to office and then start calling for the president to be assassinated.  But its cool. She spent the day doubling down on twitter. You know, because she’s insane.

We finally have foreign officials calling for the US to look into potential collusion from the 2016 presidential election. Although I don’t think its what the left expected. And I doubt it’ll pierce the impenetrable wall of endless Trumpnazihitler coverage the media are engaging in anyway.  Because if they couldn’t even get around to dedicating more than 1/10 the coverage of the Barcelona terrorist attack that killed 14 and left over 100 people injured, this isn’t even gonna register on the rated.

The Trump Department of Justice completely shits the bed. There is no clever headline or quip. This is pathetic. And we need a new system where goons of the state can be put on trial and not have people on their side prosecuting them. Independent prosecutors made of  up of public defenders or perhaps voluntary prosecutors made up of people in the broader legal profession are more suitable alternatives than what happened in this case (or in the myriad police brutality cases that go under-prosecuted or untouched by what are in essence coworkers of the offending officers). These torture victims deserve better. America deserves better.

Gaia prepares to strike back. Looks like even though you shitlords didn’t watch the Al Gore sequel, our weeping Mother Earth did. And she’s gonna take her vengeance on…the middle of the ocean if recent history is any indicator.

If you’re in Boston this weekend and want to exercise your First Amendment right, then you must give up your Second Amendment right. Also, you can’t ride a bike. Or drink a soda. Or even take your dog for a walk.  I shit you not.

Remember how people laughed when they said tearing down monuments was about the leaders and it wasn’t like they were gonna start going into cemeteries and tearing things down?  Yeah, they were full of shit then too. Slippery slope, people. Slippery slope. And we’re about to go on a wild ride down this one, because I fear we’re reached the tipping point.

Although maybe its not too late. Somebody is saying “we’re not gonna participate in this retarded whitewash”.

I feel good that I maintained the theme for a whole week.

Have a great weekend, friends.

I’m gonna lead off by recognizing the Team Canada Blue Jays.  They have the weight of a nation on their shoulders. And while they’re in last place in a division, they’re in first place in the hearts of a nation.  A silly nation of poutine-eating, syrup-swilling flappy heads.  But a nation nonetheless that sits on America’s head.  Also, they won.  As did the Dodgers (unsurprisingly). The Rockies put up a huge number and beat the Braves. The Indians and the Twins got rained out. The Cubs beat the BIG RED MACHINE. The Red Sox beat the Cardinals. And the Astros have won two games in a row over the battling D-backs.

In other sports, Mayweather and McGregor agree to lighter gloves so Floyd can pepper his head up even faster. Nature Boy has some serious organ problems. And Chik-Fil-A surprises some people by announcing they will not open stadium venues on Sunday. Nobody in the south is the least bit shocked about this, as its been their company policy for over 70 years. And the revenue lost from their stadium location (a stadium that resembles a crunchwrap supreme by the way) pales in comparison the the revenue lost from their mall locations through the holidays. The decision was based on the morality of the owners and their desire for their employees to have at least one consistent days  week off to spend with their families. And I daresay it probably has a net positive effect on their bottom line when all is said and done.  Bravo.

I can’t think of something else sports-wise I may have missed. But I’m sure someone will remind me in the comments section after…the links!

In a shocking turn of events, the Virginia Democrat Governor encouraged all cities in the Commonwealth to tear down their confederate monuments and put them in museums.  I guess he had to say something after his false statements about a cache of weapons stored in Charlottesville by one group of assholes last weekend was refuted by the state police. But I don’t know how smart it is, calling for the removal of memorials that bring in a lot of tourist dollars and are a source of pride by the citizens of the Commonwealth for their architectural beauty and for their cultural significance.  In other words, this will not go over well.*

*Addendum: if they try to tear down anything on Monument Avenue, I humbly request a place to stay in Richmond that week since I will be there prepared to chain myself to one of them. This erasure of history to placate a mob the left has deliberately worked up into a frenzy needs to stop somewhere. And if I need to chain myself to the Matthew Fontaine Maury statue to help facilitate that, I’m seriously willing to do so.

NPR is preparing the left and the establishment right for disappointment regarding the Mueller investigation into Russian election interference. Only time will tell. But it can’t be comforting to those supporting the witch hunt to know that the lead FBI counterintelligence agent on the case has decided to step away from it.  Maybe its because he was a lead agent on the Clinton email investigation and isn’t too happy about the way that dog and pony show was handled by Comey and Lynch. Maybe its something else. I guess we won’t know until they wrap up…which could be any time they decide to stop investigating whatever they feel like investigating.  You know, because its open-ended and they can go wherever it leads them.

Speaking of Russia, this would be the biggest story of the day in a sane world. (No teasers!)

Alternative headline: No Shit. Seriously, this is the worst idea to come out of a California company since the Anakin Skywalker conception story.

::cough::BULLSHIT::cough:: I mean, they can say that. But we know they don’t really mean that.

The White House has a new communications director. Read about her here. Or just look at the pics, ya perverts.

Yeah, I hate em too. But this is a good song.

Alright, friends. Make today the best day you’ve had so far this week. That’s what I’m gonna try to do.

The real sport of the day yesterday was played by the media. It was an endurance contest, a triathlon of sorts. The first component was to shit in one’s pants. They measured the weight of the shit by milligrams (since standard is a racist, sexist system in some obscure way I’m not about to look up). The second phase was running around with one’s hair on fire, with total distance (in a direct line using decimeters) reached to the left of one’s starting point measured, with bonus points given for each minute one cried in fear yesterday. The third metric was to count how many retweets and likes the journalist received from their most virtue-signaling tweet of the day. The total of the three were added together to get the final score

And the winner, ladies and gentlemen, was Jake Tapper.  Jake Tapper wins!  Congratulations, Jake. You’ve done your side proud.

I’d also like to thank The Hill and WaPo for doing so well in the rear race division. You guys did a hell of a lot more yesterday to reinforce the level of credibility you have in America than you’ll ever realize.  Kudos.

In other sports action, here’s what went down: The Yankees won, the Nationals won, the Red Sox won, The BIG RED MACHINE beat the Cubs, The Indians beat the Twins, The Dodgers won, The Mariners beat the Orioles, The Rockies lost, and the Astros won (and actually put some runs on the board!)  Liverpool won the away leg of their UCL play-in tie. And Zeke Elliott officially appealed his inexplicable six-game suspension.  They’re playing tennis, but the real action starts in a couple weeks. Dog days indeed, my friends.

Well that’s about all for the fun and games. Now let’s get down to business with…the links!

Man tells it like it is. Virtue signaling spirals out of control. I swear, the inability or refusal by the media and establishment politicians to acknowledge that there was violence from two groups is alarming.  As is the refusal by either to touch on the myriad acts of violence, intimidation and destruction of property by antifa groups over the past several years.

Its not just Palin anymore. Walter Block’s lawsuit against the New York Times for defamation may continue.  Good!

Hey man, nice shot.

The Texas bathroom bill died once again as the legislative session abruptly ended.

A hotel in Switzerland has got some ‘splainin to do.

But how does he…where would…what kind of…who the hell could even…aw fuck it. Just read the story.

If only people took this advice more often, they’d be a lot happier.

That’s the end of the links. Go out there and seize the day!

Well yesterday was full of surprises.

The Indians, who won on Sunday as well, beat the Red Sox handily. The Yanks beat the lowly Mets. Team Canada beat the Rays. The Cubs beat up the Reds, even though Joey Votto is still hitting the cover off the ball. The Orioles beat the Marlins.  And of course, the Astros lost again.  YOU HAVE TO SCORE TO WIN, boys!

The NBA released the 2017-2018 schedule. And I couldn’t care less.  And the Nature Boy is resting in the hospital after surgery for an undisclosed illness. He had been hospitalized for supposedly a heart issue, but his publicist said the surgery, which he had been put into a medically-induced coma prior to, the surgery is unrelated.  Let’s hope he makes a full recovery.  I always loved that guy from the WCW golden days. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Right, a lot is happening out there. So let’s talk about some of them with…the links!

Well, President Trump finally succumbed to the left and directly denounced nazism and white supremacy, even though he had never asked for or offered the slightest bit of support for either. And the left predictably loses their shit. Say what you want about the left, but they at least know how to read. They’re never going to let this “crisis” go to waste. And even though its just one body, there’s enough room to climb on top of her and grandstand till the cows come home.

Crowd of goons destroys property in act of mob vandalism.  The local cops stood on and watched as the mob sought to extract their pound of flesh from something made of rock and metal.  The governor began his re-election campaign by telling those with bloodlust that they can come up with different ways to do what they’re doing. He was, however, unable to find words to allay the fears of anybody right of center that may have at some point in the future felt the need to publicly support the monuments remaining in public as historical reminders of the past.

Robert Ritchie For US Senate just doesn’t have that ring to it. But that may have to happen if Kid Rock  manages to get on the ballot, according to Michigan’s Board of Elections.

Kid Rock is a household name to Americans under the age of 50, and voters might be attracted to vote for him, as a middle finger to the political establishment.

Well, one part of that statement is demonstrably true. While the other is not. He’s certainly not a “name” in my household.

New evidence may have been found in the coldest of cold cases. It would be kind of funny if they found the guy someday…living high on the hog. I’d bet he’s dead by now though.

Conservative group Club For Growth (not sure if they’re affiliated with white supremacy, as they’ve not publicly disavowed them yet this week) pours $10 million into campaign to capture Missouri Senate seat from Dem Claire McCaskill.  That’s gonna leave a mark. Expect McCaskill to decry “dark money” and “outsiders” meddling in races held in other states. Just kidding, I’m sure she’ll be consistent and not mention it once, like what happened with the special election in Georgia earlier this year.

Tiger Woods officially joins the ranks of Florida Man. Well done, sir. You did it the way you’re supposed to do it…fucked up out of your mind. The video is just great, but he did lose a point or two for not having a beer in hand.

Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn once in a while. Or: shitty band actually has a good song.

Keep your heads down, friends. Its a jungle out there.*

*”Jungle” was not implied to mean the world was full of savages from other parts of the world. Its a commonly-used phrase. I personally know many people from other parts of the world and each and every one adds to the human experience and is a great addition to my life. And I personally disavow any European colonialism that sought to destroy jungles or displace people from them by importing technology such as the wheel, or medicine or the storage of potable water and foodstuffs.

Well…what a weekend.  I won’t go into the events in Charlottesville other than to condemn anyone that would initiate violence against someone else. I know the comments will wade into it on their own, and I already stated my views many times over the weekend on a few various threads. So have at it. There’s enough other stuff out there for me to touch on.

Its hard for me to talk about preseason football, at least until the starters are playing significant minutes.  Hell, to be honest I haven’t watched a minute of preseason NFL coverage and really don’t know much of what’s going on.  That keeps me from dealing with retarded shit like “who is standing for an anthem” and “who is racist for not hiring this guy” and “this start RB got suspended for associating himself with a gold digger that even the police think has no credibility whatsoever”.  Its not worth my time until next week at least.  Sorry, but expect an update then. As for college, the Gators suspend 7 for the opener in less than two weeks against TTUN, including arguably their best player.

As for baseball, the Astros finally for off the mat yesterday. They were given a standing 8 count and were told by the referee that they’d be closely watched for the next couple of weeks.  Seriously, wtf? Their bats went to sleep, their pitching shit the bed, and their attitude seems to be nonchalance.  Maybe they’re playing four, no five-dimensional chess with the rest of the league.  Yeah, that’s it. Elsewhere, the Nats slip (lol, sorry) against the Giants twice in a twin-billing. Team Canada lost to the Yinzers, The Indians lost. The Twins won. The Rockies lost. The BIG RED MACHINE lost. The Cards, Orioles and Mariners lost while the Cubs, Dodgers and Red Sox won, the latter having beaten the dreaded Yankees. (Whew, its a mouthful when I cover everybody on here’s interests. But I get paid all this money to give you what you want.)

Meanwhile, the EPL got off to a fun start. The Coutinho deal is (maybe) back on, which sucks as bad as Liverpool played without him in the lineup. And Justin Thomas won an absolutely compelling PGA Championship that could have gone about 5 different ways until the last half hour.  Those greens were way too fast for my tastes, but thats why these guys make the big bucks.

Alright, I better get on topic(s) before I lose the audience.  So I give you…the links!

Al Gore’s encore tribute to PT Barnum hasn’t gone over too well. Maybe all those people that gave him money the first time were too busy seeing the egress.

Well look who likes capitalism after all. Hypocrite alert!

Crude prices going up. Which causes gas prices to follow.

Illinois Senate rejects amended school funding. Looks like all the money will head to the Chicago teachers union. I’m sure this will help the bond ratings agencies make their next informed decision.

I wouldn’t have expected this to end well.

This is what happens when people ignore signs saying you must me this tall for this ride. Yogi Bear wasn’t lying, sir.

I just realized after several months that I’ve yet to play this guy.

Good luck out there today. And have faith that its not as bad as assholes would like you to believe.

Hey, here we are at the end of another week.  And it can’t come soon enough for the Astros, who got swept by the lowly Chicago White Sox after shitting the bed in the ninth last night.  OK, guys…get your collective head out of your collective ass and stop this nonsense. Elsewhere, in games with announced Glibs interest, the Nats won, the Yanks lost, the Cards (welcome to the party) won, the Twinks won, the Orioles won (and inched closer back to .500 ball) and the BIG RED MACHINE won.

Hope that satisfies everybody. If I left you out, feel free to excoriate me in the comments.

Elsewhere, the EPL starts today, and I can look forward to early Saturdays and Sundays for the foreseeable future, which I’m sure just thrills Banjos and our kids.  And at Quail Hollow, the rains never came…and neither did the hotness of Spieth’s putter which helped propel him to the British Open a few weeks ago.  5 back after the first round isn’t impossible. But in a field this deep it won’t be easy. Phil Mickelson wishes he’d have stayed at home and John Daly had a good round going until he triple-bogeyed the last hole. Maybe somebody swapped out his vodka bottle, accidentally giving him water.  Shame on them.

That’s it for sports. Well, for the update anyway. I think they’re already on the course in Charlotte. I’ll know when I turn on the TV after I finish with the rest of…the links!

You want to know who else was sexist as shit?  Apparently The Simpsons’ Matt Groenig. Hoo-boy, I can’t wait to see the reactions when they see all of the gay humor in the first few seasons.  Also, who the hell colors their hair purple in their 50’s or 60s?  (TW: Jezebel)

Talk about your fresh-faced politician. Hey, can he run on “let’s leave the kids out of politics at the debates” and pretty much say whatever he wants?  Either way, he’d be better off if he focused his energies on something more productive than lording over a bunch of other people. Also, he looks like he’s prepping for a “fat man in a little coat” skit with that jacket. Don’t you even haberdash, bro?

You think our political system is fucked up?  It could always be worse. Oh Argentina. The country full of Brazilians that speak Spanish but think they’re Italian. (Except for the ones that know they’re Nazis.  They’re there too.)

Feds tell Cook County, IL not so fast, my friend on their immoral, and likely illegal, soda tax. Looks like women and children actually are the hardest hit.

OK, now he’s just fucking with the left, and the deep state, and the media (which I guess is redundant since I already said left). Awesome.

Looks like I’ve found the locale for the next Glibs Texas meetup.  I think this will go over well with everybody involved. Well…almost everybody.

And the last story is about the person with the biggest freaking balls in American politics. (TL;DR: We shit the bed, now you lay down in it.) Un-fucking-believable.

The theme for the week reaches its climax…

I’ll be on the golf course today after a lengthy layoff. I hope each of you has the chance to do something that makes you happy as well.  Get out there and make today great!