Glibertarians.com 2017 Archive

Author: Yusef drives a Kia

  • Yusef’s Simple Christmas

    Not Yusef’s house

    I love lights, so Christmas is fun for me. I used to just go for how many lights can you cram in! But as I get older and tired, I’m going for theme instead. The wife likes red and white, so I go with that. My lights are nothing compared to others, but they please me, and yes….. I have a snow machine. The grandkids love it, and the colder it gets the better it sticks, leaving a beautiful scene. Desert snow, I have seen it, but not in upland. And because I live on a major street, people trip out on the whole scene. Fun times! The neighbors are doing some pretty things, so our neighborhood looks outstanding, and we are on the white trash side of the street.  Fuck off, slavers!

    Show your stuff, trees, lights, silliness. Open thread and Merry Christmas!

  • Office Manager Mohammed Gets Written Up

    Office Manager Mohammed: Some INFIDEL has complained to HR about my enthusiasm in praise of ALLAH! And that I must speak in a more civil tone, very well. I must cast blame on my Assistant Yusef, his efforts at guiding me through this Hell of a workplace, while helpful, often get me in trouble, especially with the Local Authorities.

    Yusef: I didn’t tell you to yell!

    OMM: Then why do you yell now?

    Yusef: I’m not yelling

    OMM: YES! YOU ARE YELLING!

    Yusef: No…I’m not

    OMM: This is not Abbott and Costello! You work for me, I work for ALLAH! We make profits. Did you not buy your Woman a Kia?

    Yusef: Oh yes! Praise ALLAH for the Kia, and the gas mileage that the Prophet has given me!

    OMM: Very well, in the future you will cease giving me bad advice, at the risk of your INFIDEL HEAD!

    Yusef: May I clean your spittle bucket now?

    ::OMM gambols off to his waiting Mercedes 500 SL::

  • Tails of the Teufelhund: Part 3

    Baby Bella

    Belly and I have always played throw and return, and she’s finally starting  to return things I throw: rope, baseballs, etc. And this is good for her as I have almost no yard for her to play in. We walk every day, and the dog park is down the street, so there’s that. When Belly was about 3 months old, I bought her a toy which she immediately lost, and 7 months later, today, I found SQUEAKY TOY!

    We have spent the entire afternoon playing and throwing SQT around and B is having a blast.

    SQT is a fluorescent, orange rubber bone-shaped thing that squeaks. Yummy!

    I have read that the reason dogs love SQTs is because they love to hear their prey scream. Sounds about right for Bella. And so delicious, I can only wonder what cats think about it; after all, they are the gangsters of Pet World.

    Cats: yes, I have one. Eighteen years old and still kicks Bella’s ass. A real nice kitty.

    My son actually found her on a rainy night, and I said, “If she lives, keep her,” thinking this poor thing wouldn’t make the night. Happily, I was wrong. Kittah is tiny but real tough. Full grown only about 6 lb–truly a runt like my Bella, and a fucking trooper. Been through 3 dogs and handled them all. Go Kittah!

    Maybe this should be Tales of the Kittah

     

    Cats are Canaries in Coalmines

    Pets are opportunistic,

    Dogs are free Security

    Like people,

    Pets are not Children

    Most are just as stupid

    And must be Guided

    God Bless the Doggies and Kittahs.

    I’m a Sucker

         +          =     

  • Yusef Presents – ThewiZARDofOZ – A movie review

    I have known of the movie Zardoz since I was a kid but never watched it until last night, and I must say, “Huh?” Exterminators get guns from a giant head, who haphazardly tosses shotguns and shells at anyone who can pick them up. What about infiltrating Brutals? Zed proceeds to climb into the head while no one was watching, (maybe Arthur, who knows?) and shoots Arthur in the arm, causing his death, which can’t be because he’s an Eternal.

    Zed lands in the scenery for the Prisoner and finds the only person (Mae) (Ginger yum) with no soul to make contact with, gets caught up in the Tabernacle Bullshit, and is forced to leave, OK. (I’m a Ginger, my Wife is a Ginger, and yes, we have no souls.)

    And where are the boobies? Is that what the British have to put up with? No wonder we created a new country, full of boobies!

    Attacked by people who can’t fight their way INTO a plastic bag? Then run when Zed breaks out of a PLASTIC BAG?…. OK.  If you break the law you are aged, so where did the 300 hundred-year-old tuxedos and dresses come from? Leaving ’em in storage for later? What later? Zed apparently breaks the Tabernacle at just the moment The Exterminators come in to clean house? And of course, Consuela and Sean make a baby and grow old. It’s amazing how good Sean Connery looks compared to the movie version of him aging.

    What the Hell did I watch? I love early 70’s movies: washed-out scenes, horrible dialogue, and a certain Hippie-je ne sais quoi, FWIW, but this was a complete 70’s mess. The storyline is typical for the time, which is none! Maybe I should torture myself and watch it again and again until my Brutal thoughts are cleansed, but no.

    I suggest the Charleton Heston dark series which includes: Planet of the Apes, Beneath the Planet of the Apes (World Ender), Soylent Green, The Omega Man.

    These are all early 70’s movies. Some period, some not, but a good glimpse of Sci Fi from the era.

    ZARDOZ 3.0/5

     

  • Yusef’s Musical Morning

    Disclaimer: I don’t claim to be good, but people tell me I’m better than I think I am, and I am good.

    What am I doing now. I usually play stringed instruments, guitars, basses and ukuleles, but I wanted to expand my horizons. And since I like EDM and Floyd, Jean Michel Jarre, and Pete Townsend’s Sequencing, I thought I would give it a whirl. Most of it it is live on the spot, no pre-recording, so the results are interesting.

    Instruments. Harmor to M-audio keystation 88

    Sawer (currently) to my Nectar Impact 25 LXi

    Yard sale Yamaha through Lexicon mpx200

    Behringer 502 preamps for each PC(2)

    SR16 drum machine(sometimes)

    Groove Machine on my Tablet

    And a Moog werkstatt 01, with Arduino arpeggiators, sometimes.

    Everything goes through a 1202 Behringer stand alone mixer.

    Pyle 160 watt amp (driver only)

    Old Kenwood 4 way speakers with old school Electronic bypasses.

    I love mixing old and new tech, and this is a blast; much more fun than playing guitar in a rock band, been there, done that. For those interested, my channel has quite a few different styles, but my current thing is TEPME3, trivia question to follow.

     I wrote this knowing there are many musicians here, and I thought we should share, Enjoy!

    Dyson Sphere, and I’m the star in the middle 😉

     

     

  • Halloween at Yusef’s!

    I grew up knowing that Halloween means trick or treating, usually going from house to house collecting candy, dressed in some sort of costume. Sometimes the school would have a parade where you could flaunt your silly costumes, but whatever, it was fun.

    When I grew older and had kids of my own, I noticed people dropping their kids off in my neighborhood. Odd, I thought, until I realized: they have no trick or treating, no candy, nothing where they live for whatever reason, and that must suck.

    I gave up on whether the kids are local and just focused on the fun.

    To my Wendy and I, Halloween is a favorite holiday.

    And it just keeps getting bigger and better for us. Wendy is worried about sound, but I have actually done checks and where she wants to be, giving out the candy, we are fine. I learned little kids get startled and scared so we play very low and spooky, and they dig it.

    “I think we should call it your grave!”

    I built a graveyard and set up strobe lights and some green, purple, and orange lights on the ground for effect. Then I run a sub-cooled fog machine across the graveyard, which looks uber cool as long as the wind doesn’t get too crazy.

    Going with live scary music with my guitar player on Morlock/Borg guitar.

    Massive disco lights and two fog machines. I need to notify the Fire department before I do it.  (Ask me how I know.) This year will be the best ever.

    Too many folks forget the fun, focusing on politics, scary things, and Democrats. My kids had a great time trick or treating, but it seems to a fading tradition.

    So take those kids where the candy is and have a killer Halloween!

    I am the Time Traveler.

    Fuck you John Titor*

    *optional

     

     

  • Tails of the the Teufelhund, PT II, Poison!

    A few Sundays ago I decided to spend the afternoon with my best friend, discussing composing, arrangement, engineering and various audio stuff, when my phone rings.

    My Wife is calling in a panic because Bella is having a major seizure and come home NOW!, but continues rambling so I just hang up, and say, “Chuck, dog’s seizing, gotta go,” and I’m out.

    As I drive the 6 blocks to my house I’m wondering, “Poison? How? I can’t even leave for a few hours without someone killing my Dog?”

    5 minutes later as I walk through the door, my 25 yr old Son is acting like a 10 yr old sniveling version of Hillary, no help at all, so I go find my Dog.

    Poor baby is sitting in a corner of my office, drooling, spaced the fuck out, and the pollen is falling heavily. I just try to love on Her, but she won’t let me touch her, at first. So I go looking for poison. My office, clear. Bedroom, clear. Kitchen, clear. Then the back yard.

    She found my extra Roundup on top of a 5 foot shelf and knocked it over. She loves to open bottles you see. At this point I walk inside and pronounce, “She drank Roundup, she lives or dies,” being Her Daddy and the heartless motherfucker I am.

    An hour goes by and She drinks some milk. Another hour, then a puppy treat. And then finally eats dog food, THANK GOD!

    After my Wife explained that my son put her out back instead of my office, I knew what happened. Bella doesn’t stay alone unless she is in her den (my office) and panicked, or she was just mad because the People left her alone.

    We often give her milk for a treat, and she had some just prior to drinking Herbicide. Maybe this helped? But she apparently voided from all orifices, while screaming in pain, probably scary as fuck, and I’m glad I didn’t have to witness it. She is fine now, but lesson learned:

    Puppies Will Find Trouble.

    Secure all poison, take no chances.

    I almost lost my Belly.

    Take Care of your puppies, Glibs

  • An Immigration Story

    The following is in no way the views of Glibs in General, but more a view from Glibville, IMO.

    I met an Armenian customer today, inspecting his flooded furnace, and being a businessman himself, we got to talking. He explained that his very nice neighborhood was once run down, but the Armenians came in and fixed the place up, improved property values and generally made a nice place to live and have their kids grow up; not bad. We compared prices for similar homes, mine $295k. The equivalent house in his neighborhood? $760k. (Disclaimer: I live in the sticks, 46 miles East of Glendale.)

    We did speak briefly of the Armenian Genocide at the hands of the the Turks (who still won’t cop to it, after over 100 years? and Germany?, Fuck the Turks). SoCal has a large Armenian Diaspora. Weather, maybe?

    I told him stories of Chinese people who HAD to win, at any cost, and I just jack up the initial price, knowing I will win my price and they “save” face, which is important to them.

    When I was growing up, I remember the whole “Jews are shysters and con artists”, banker thing. Try ANY culture from the Middle East, they’re all Jews when it comes to haggling. Egyptians, Lebanese, Syrians, it doesn’t matter, everything is “Too much, Lower price”. (I don’t adhere to the Jew Concept, it’s a Middle Eastern thing.)

    So many of the immigrants I meet are so proud to be here and be able to haggle in peace, it’s no wonder they want to be here. I often wish they would “fix” their own homeland but I get that it can be hard, if not impossible to do, that’s why they left. Think about that for a moment, you have to leave the place where you were born, your culture, lifestyle, all of it, due to fear of a lack of freedom. I say FUCK YEAH!

    I actually love these interactions, I learn a lot about other cultures, but the one thing I have learned in 30 years of Customer service is everyone is different, don’t assume anything. Cultures are different, but the melting pot still exists, is very powerful, and immigrants are very valuable to our country. And some I assume are good people. We at least need to remind people that neo nazis, antifa and all the others aren’t who we are. Hell, I can’t see ’em in my world, and I cover most of SoCal.

    Most People living in the U.S. are too busy working to pay much attention, IMO, and the antifa/nazi thing is just so much hot air. If I am wrong, well, at least we are all armed. (You are armed, correct?)

    Notice the use of the word immigrant. I refer to legal immigrants. I know too many illegals and they are a strain on our system, like dead voters, democrats, feral Dogs and STEVE SMITH.

    P.S. I’m told that you Canucks are but redheaded stepchildren to us in the U.S. of A.

    At least the Canadians get Caps!
    /Canada!
    Rush!
    Celine Dion!
    Kids in the Hall!
    /Feel better?

     

  • The Tail of the Teufelhund

    She was a wee child, they said she was born of Pit, but no.
    My pictures tell me so,
    I fed her and got her shots,
    And she eats food, lots,
    and everything She can Find,
    She it a chewer of the worst kind,
    The Wife ordered new furniture Thank God,
    Because all of our old stuff was eaten by the Dog,
    We have a fence, She will not cross,…… Oh Fuck it She’s attacking me again, I’ll get back to You guys, AGGGHGH!

    Puppy: Code name Bella
    Task: to destroy all Furniture
    Optional: eat everything else

    My Pup was born on 1/21/17 and was advertised as a “pure” Pit Bull, which we were in fact looking for; brindle, female, we were happy. Not a Pit, though; she is a kind of weird shape and the clinic called her a Belgian Hunting Dog but you tell me. I call her a Teufful Hund, and my granddaughter (7 years old) calls her a Chupacabra Dog. She is currently eating a piece of poster-board.

    At 7 months, she is mellowing out a bit, but what a handful. Sometimes her name is No!Bella!.

    She should finish out at 80 pounds or so, but until then, The Great Adventures of Bella! the Eater!