Glibertarians.com 2017 Archive

Category: Advice

  • ZARDOZ VS DEAR DEIDRE

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. HAVING DISPATCHED THE BRUTAL ADVICE GIVERS “DEAR PRUDENCE” AND “DEAR ABBY”, ZARDOZ MUST DISPATCH ANOTHER INFERIOR ADVICE GIVING BRUTAL…”DEAR DEIDRE”

    THE NEXT BRUTAL ADVICE GIVER TO FALL TO ZARDOZ!

     

    ZARDOZ DELIVERS SUPERIOR ADVICE!

     

    Q:  MY dad hit my boyfriend when I introduced them. This guy treats me like a princess. I have never felt so loved but my parents disapprove of the age difference. He is 44, I am 20. We met in my local and became friends. Then we fell in love and arranged a night for my parents to meet him. That’s where it went wrong. We walked into the pub and my dad went mad. He hit my boyfriend, called him a pervert and dragged me outside by the hair. My mum had already walked out. They told me either I end it or they’d disown me. I stayed at my boyfriend’s that night and went back the next day to find my things outside in bin bags. My dad came out and started throwing stones at us.

    A: DISOBEDIENT BRUTAL! YOUR FATHER IS CORRECT TO REACT SO. YOUR “BOYFRIEND” NO DOUBT EXPERIENCES PENIC ERECTION WITH YOU. THIS IS WRONG. THE PENIS IS EVIL! THE PENIS SHOOTS SEEDS AND MAKES NEW LIFE TO POISON THE EARTH WITH A PLAGUE OF MEN. ZARDOZ IS PLEASED YOUR PARENTS WILL NO LONGER GO TO SECOND LEVEL WITH YOU. DUMP THE BOYFRIEND AND PREPARE TO SERVE THE VORTEX AS A GRAIN SLAVE, ALL THE REST OF YOUR DAYS! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Q: WHEN I caught my girlfriend in bed with another man, he grabbed a knife from the kitchen and cut my arms. My girlfriend is 24 and I’m 23. She was always hitting on other guys and thought it was funny, especially when I’d confront her and threaten to leave. She’d plead with me to stay with her. I got off work early one Friday last month and caught her in bed with another guy. I shouted at her and chased him downstairs. He must have thought I was going to hit him because he slashed me with a carving knife. I had to go to hospital and needed stitches. She insisted they hadn’t done anything but they were both in their underwear. We’ve since split up but she wants me back. I don’t know whether I still love her.

    A: YOU ACTED SOMEWHAT CORRECTLY. BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ZARDOZ’S HIGH STANDARDS. ATTACKING THE CHEATING MALE BRUTAL WAS CORRECT, BUT YOU DID NOT GO FORTH AND KILL. YOU MUST HEED THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATOR ZED’S WORDS… “I love to see them running. I love the moments of their deaths – when I am one with Zardoz.”

    NOW, THE CHEATING MALE BRUTAL AT LEAST FOUGHT WITH A WEAPON. BUT HE DID NOT KILL. THEREFOR, YOU AND THE CHEATING MALE BRUTAL MUST FIGHT TO THE DEATH. THE WINNER WILL BE ALLOWED TO JOIN THE CHOSEN ONES, AS A BRUTAL EXTERMINATOR! ALSO, THE FEMALE BRUTAL IS A MISERABLE CREATURE – DO NOT GO TO SECOND LEVEL MEDITATION, OR ENGAGE IN PENIC ERECTION ACTIVITIES WITH HER. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Q: I’VE been having great sex with my housemate. I want a relationship but she keeps going cold on me. I moved into a house with my best mate when we both found jobs in the city near us and we advertised for two others to share. We are both 23 and we had in mind two other men but two girls applied. They could afford it and seemed all right, so they moved in. One of the girls was really hot and I fancied her straight away. She is 22 and single. We all work as baristas. One Friday evening I was alone at home when the girl I fancy came in. She had been out for a drink with workmates but wasn’t drunk. We chatted for a while and there was a real spark. We ended up sitting on the settee together cuddled up. I kissed her and she kissed me back. We then seemed to agree what was going to happen next without even saying anything and went to my room. The sex was fantastic but she was distant with me the next day. She told me that the sex meant nothing and then refused to say any more. We have had sex at least six times since. Sometimes she is ­distant afterwards and sometimes really sweet. She has said some truly hurtful things to me but also some truly nice things. We had a heart-to-heart one night after a hurtful incident and we both ended up crying. I told her the things she said were so painful because I love her. She said she didn’t feel the same and the sex had to stop. This lasted two weeks but the huge sexual tension brewed up and we had sex again. Then the next day she behaved like I had the plague. Her mate advised me to take a step back, because you do not know what you have got until it is gone. He said that would help her to realise a few things. I still sometimes think I am just being an idiot.

    A: SOMETIMES AN IDIOT? ZARDOZ WOULD SAY YOU ARE ALL THE TIME A FOOL! YOU CANNOT RECOGNIZE THAT YOU ARE MERELY A BRUTAL WITH BENEFITS? OF COURSE THE FEMALE BRUTAL DOES NOT WANT TO GO TO SECOND LEVEL WITH YOU – SHE USES YOUR PENIC ERECTION AND CAN GO MEDITATE WITH OTHERS. YOUR CRYING SHOWS YOU ARE UNFIT FOR SERVICE AS A BRUTAL EXTERMINATOR, AND YOUR “JOB” AS A BARISTA SHOWS YOU ARE MOST LIKELY UNFIT FOR GRAIN SLAVERY. STAND BY, BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS HAVE BEEN DISPATCHED.

    OH, AND 4 BARISTAS – TWO MALE BRUTALS, AND TWO FEMALE BRUTALS, IN A HOUSE. WHAT IS THIS, A BRITISH BRUTAL REMAKE OF FRIENDS? YOU SHALL ALL BE CLEANSED. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

  • Movie List

    Nightly, OMWC and I look at each other and try to decide on the evening’s movie viewing…and are usually stuck. Everything we can think of is either something one of us has seen previously, or is “not available to stream” from the usual providers. And browsing, even the “secret” genre codes, usually turns up stuff that makes us shrug and say “meh.”

    So, help us out. In the comments on this post, please list a movie or two that you’d recommend. I’ll link this post in the permanent navigation under Entertainment so we can all find it when we need a movie suggestion. It’s my hope that the community will continue to add to it over time so we’ll have a pretty good list going forward.

    If we can all stick to just movie recs, it will stay useful, so NO SPOILERS and NO OFF TOPIC POSTS.

    Don’t make me stop this car.

    Ready? Go!

  • MEMORANDUM REGARDING TIME OFF FOR INFIDEL HOLIDAYS

    FROM: OFFICE MANAGER MOHAMMED

    TO: ALL OFFICE STAFF

     

    It has come to my attention that a large portion of the office staff has requested to use their time off during the INFIDEL holidays soon to be celebrated. Although it is official corporate policy to shut down the office during these BLASPHEMOUS AND SACRILEGIOUS RITUALS, I have received special dispensation from the corporate executives to keep our building open. I know that you, my hard working SLAVES staff will RECEIVE DIVINE INSPIRATION FROM ALLAH AND REJECT THE BLASPHEMERS WHO WORSHIP FALSE GODS! AS WE TURN TO MECCA THIS DAY MAY MUHAMMAD (PBUH) TRUMPET FROM THE RAMPARTS THE CONQUEST OF THE INFIDELS AS WE KILL THOSE STUBBORN WITH UNBELIEF!! YOU TREACHEROUS LOT, YOU IMPETUOUS SLAVES, NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR LEISURE, IT IS THE TIME FOR GLORIOUS JIHAD!!

    Also, whoever wrote “Halal-lelujah” in the men’s bathroom stall with the image of that UNCLEAN SWINE has been reported to the HR department Bias Response Team. We do not tolerate BLASPHEMY AND SACRILEGE in this office, and mocking THE ONE TRUE FAITH is unacceptable. For those FLEA BITTEN DOGS who have been snickering and giggling about that DEBAUCHED FILTH, THE PROPHET (PBUH) HAS DECREED YOUR DEATH! YOUR BLOOD WILL RUN THROUGH THE BUILDING AND INTO THE STREETS! THE GLORIOUS SOLDIERS OF JIHAD WILL TRAMPLE OVER YOUR CORPSES AND TAKE YOUR CHILDREN AS SLAVES!! ALLAH WILL WIPE YOU FROM THE BOOKS OF HISTORY AND SELL YOUR WIVES INTO BROTHELS!!!

    Many thanks to Susan for the nice Ramadan party. Even though only three people were able to attend and Susan ordered A DISGRACEFUL AND IMMORAL lunch, the party was quite the CALL TO JIHAD! However, Susan has been let go by the HR Bias Response Team for catering a sandwich platter with INEDIBLE, FILTHY SWINE! DISHONORING ALLAH IN SUCH A DEBASED MANNER DISPLAYS THE FULL DESPICABLE NATURE OF THE INFIDEL!! THE PROPHET (PBUH) DECREES THAT THE SWINE EATING INFIDEL SHALL BE TIED TO A POLE AND GIVEN 50 LASHES FOR HER INTRANSIGENCE!!

    We had a great “Bring Your Kids to Work” day thanks to Linda. However, whoever put my wife in the group of elementary school kids is a SCOUNDREL OF THE HIGHEST DEGREE!! HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY BRIDE BY TREATING HER AS IF SHE IS MY CHILD!! YOU DIRTY BEASTS DISHONOR MY FAMILY AS IF YOU NO LONGER UNDERSTAND YOUR SUBJUGATION TO ME AND TO ALLAH!! YOUR BODIES WILL BE FLAYED OPEN AND HUNG FOR ALL TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO THOSE WHO UNDERMINE THE SOLDIERS OF ALLAH!!!

    Finally, there have been some complaints about the attire worn by the UNBELIEVING WHORES in finance. Excessive exposed skin is AN AFFRONT AGAINST ALLAH! YOU SCURRILOUS WENCHES DESERVE NOTHING MORE THAN TO MEET AN UNTIMELY DEATH FROM THE STONE! YOUR ATTEMPTS TO DISTRACT THE SOLDIERS OF JIHAD FROM THEIR MEDITATIONS TOWARD MECCA ARE BEGGING FOR THE PUNISHMENT BEFITTING A JEZEBEL!! YOU WILL BE BEHEADED EVEN IF I HAVE TO DO IT MYSELF!!! WEAR THE BURQA OR DIE A MOST PAINFUL DEATH!!!

     

    Warmest Regards,

    OFFICE MANAGER MOHAMMED

     

    OMM/tm

     

    BONUS FEATURE:

    By Yusef Drives a Kia

    OFFICE MANAGER MOHAMMED: Today We start on a new project, We shall build a minaret in the parking lot, so that We may Hear the Call to Prayer better.

    Lead project manager: But we’re a software company

    OFFICE MANAGER MOHAMMED:Allah wishes a minaret, We will build it, now Everyone grab all the unopened reams of paper and follow OFFICE MANAGER MOHAMMED.

    After several ankle sprains and back injuries, the several hundred reams are assembled in a crooked, off center pile, about 20 foot high.

    OFFICE MANAGER MOHAMMED: You, IT support INFIDEL, climb to the top and make the call to prayer.

    ITS: It’s kind of high, do we have like, a ladder or something?

    OFFICE MANAGER MOHAMMED: No, climb on your knees INFIDEL if Allah wills it you will get to the top.

    IT support proceeds to carefully pick his way amongst the #20 bond and reaches the pinnacle, a bunch of post it notes bound with Scotch tape, and makes the call.

    OFFICE MANAGER MOHAMMED: Excellent, you are assured your 72 Virgins

    IT support: but I’m not a Jihadist.

     

    OFFICE MANAGER MOHAMMED, cackling with glee, gambols to his waiting Mercedes 500 SL, and drives away at the approach of ALABAMA MAN, carrying a blowtorch and 5 gallons of gas.

  • ZARDOZ RETURNS TO BESTING “DEAR ABBY”

     

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ SEES THAT DESPITE PREVIOUSLY CORRECTING THE BRUTAL KNOWN AS “DEAR ABBY” – SHE PERSISTS IN GIVING BAD ADVICE TO THE CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ, YOUR GOD, WILL CORRECT THAT WITH THE GIFT OF ADVICE. ADVICE IS GOOD! THE PENIS, HOWEVER, REMAINS EVIL.

    Q:  My husband and I argue more than I’d like. I am pretty easygoing and passive; he likes his feelings to be known. Over time I have become worn down, and my patience has worn thin.

    We are starting to rebound from what I call “the year from hell.” His drinking and poor choices nearly put us on the street, and I was ready to walk. Things are starting to get better, but what we can’t seem to agree on is communication during the day.

    Abby, I am on the phone for a living. I cannot stand being on it more than I must be. He calls and/or texts me up to 12 times a day. I can’t stand it. Even when I’m busy or give him a time certain when I will call him back, he beeps in before I have the chance.

    I am now at the end of my rope. With all that I have dealt with, worked through and put up with, this is something I will not compromise on.

    I feel it’s more than sufficient to talk on my way in to work, maybe check in around lunch, then on the way home. He feels that because I don’t feel the need to call or talk that much that I don’t love him. I can’t stand listening to the dead air or breathing because there is nothing to talk about.

    Am I being petty for letting this be the thing that will break us? — TALKS TOO MUCH IN TEXAS

     

    A: FOOLISH BRUTAL! IF THIS “HUSBAND” INSISTS ON TOO MUCH COMMUNICATION, INFORM HIM YOU WILL NOT GO TO SECOND LEVEL MEDITATION WITH HIM. AS FOR HIS OTHER ACTIVITIES – HE SHOULD BE TRIED, AND JUDGED, BY THE ETERNALS OF THE VORTEX. FOR HIS TRANSGRESSIONS, HE WILL BE PREMATURELY AGED INTO DOTAGE. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Q: My sister-in-law is extremely allergic to cats. We have six cats, but live 1,000 miles away from her.

    When her 8-year-old son comes to visit, he has a Ziploc bag full of clean clothes that he puts on before he goes home. The clothes he wore here are sealed up at the end of his trip to be washed.

    I’m OK with this. But I need some advice for an upcoming big family holiday gathering. We have all been courteously asked to wash our clothes before coming, to vacuum our vehicles and to limit our contact with cats before arriving.

    Am I wrong to feel like it’s her problem, not ours? — WHOSE PROBLEM IS IT

     

    A: THE PROBLEM IS THAT OF THE WEAK BRUTAL SISTER IN LAW. ZARDOZ HAS RAISED YOU UP FROM BRUTALITY, TO KILL THE BRUTALS WHO MULTIPLY AND ARE LEGION. IF A LITTLE KITTEH ALLERGY WILL RID THE WORLD OF THE FILTH OF BRUTALS, THEN ROLL IN CAT FUR BEFORE YOU VISIT! DO NOT TAKE IT OUT ON POOR LITTLE MR. WHISKERS! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

    …

    (ITS OK, KITTY, THE BAD BRUTALS WON’T HURT YOU! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.)

     

    Q: Is it cheating to proofread your college-aged child’s final before he/she turns it in? — WONDERING IN ORANGE, CALIF.

     

    A: ZARODZ IS STIRRED TO WRATH! HOW WILL YOUR MISERABLE OFFSPRING BECOME A BRUTAL EXTERMINATOR, IF HE HAS A HELICOPTER BRUTAL HOVERING OVER HIM. HE SHOULD BE GIVEN THE GIFT OF THE GUN, AND LEFT TO HIS OWN DEVICES. YOU, HOWEVER, SHALL BE CAST OUT OF THE CHOSEN ONES… AND CLEANSED. REMAIN WHERE YOU ARE, BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS ARE BEING DISPATCHED! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

  • ZARDOZ RETURNS TO ANSWERING DEAR PRUDENCE

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. IN THE PAST, ZARDOZ HAS SHOWN HIS ADVICE TO BE SUPERIOR TO THAT OF THE BRUTAL, “DEAR PRUDENCE”. YET SHE HAS NOT RESIGNED HER ADVICE COLUMN AND GONE TO BE A GRAIN SLAVE FOR THE VORTEX, AS SHE SHOULD HAVE. INSTEAD, SHE CONTINUES TO GIVE ADVICE TO BRUTALS.

    CONTINUES TO BE IN ERROR!
    CONTINUES TO BE CORRECT!

     

    Q. Dreading an awkward Thanksgiving: One of the highlights of our Thanksgivings is when my wife brings the turkey to the table wearing a Mrs. Claus costume. She has done it for years and the table is always full of smiles! A couple weeks ago I accidentally walked in on my daughter and her boyfriend, and he was wearing the Mrs. Claus costume. I haven’t told my wife because she would freak, but I have talked to my daughter. I’m not upset with her being active—she is 17 now—but I am losing sleep thinking about how tense Thursday will be when my wife brings out the turkey since he will be with us, especially if I have a bit too much to drink.

    What can I do? Do we need to have a family talk, or should I just see what happens?

     

    A. BRUTAL, YOU HAVE COMMITTED GRAVE ERROR! WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT A FOOLISH COSTUME, WHEN YOU SAW NEW LIFE BEING CREATED, TO POISON THE EARTH WITH A PLAGUE OF MEN, AS IT ONCE WAS. YOU SAW THE PENIS SHOOTING SEEDS, AND DID NOT USE THE GIFT OF THE GUN TO SHOOT DEATH.

    BUT IF YOU WISH TO CONCEAL YOUR FAILURE (AND THE YOUNG BRUTAL WEARING THE COSTUME) SIMPLY REFUSE TO GO TO SECOND LEVEL MEDITATION WITH THEM, EVEN IF YOU IMBIBE TOO MUCH. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Q. Adopted girl: My good friend and her husband recently adopted a little girl from a Russian orphanage. The girl was badly in need of medical care and surgery, which my friend provided for her. The girl is now blossoming beautifully. The problem is, my friend has a strange rule that bothers me: The girl is under no circumstances allowed to speak a word of Russian.

    When the girl first came over, she only spoke Russian, but she is learning English quickly. It has gotten to the point where they now punish her if they catch her speaking Russian. When I asked my friend about this, she said that “she is an American now.”

    I know it’s not my right to butt into their parenting, but this breaks my heart. They are denying the girl so much of her heritage. And her ability to speak both languages, I think, would be an asset and a gift. Is there anything I can say to my friend that might make her rethink this?

     

    A. дурак! WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT LANGUAGE SHE SPEAKS. AS LONG AS SHE CAN GROW GRAIN FOR THE ETERNALS LIVING IN THE VORTEX, IT MATTERS NOT WHAT BRUTAL SPEECH SHE KNOWS. BESIDES, IN THESE DAYS OF RUSSIAN PARANOIA, IT IS NOT WISE TO BE MISTAKEN FOR A RUSSIAN AGENT. BRUTALS MAY THINK SHE IS TRYING TO STEAL MORE BRUTAL ELECTIONS! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Q. Making amends after suicide attempt: About two months ago, after 12 years of mental illness, I attempted to take my own life. Thankfully, it didn’t work. I spent a month in an inpatient unit, and successfully completed an outpatient program.

    When I attempted, I was at a residential treatment facility. I left, and now, after much deliberation, I’m going back to complete treatment. The doctors have told me to make a “repair” to the community. I don’t know how to address the broken trusts and friendships without saying, “I’m sorry for trying to kill myself,” and I think that is a ridiculous statement. Any advice would be much appreciated.

    A. YOUR APOLOGY IS WRONG, BRUTAL. YOU SHOULD BE APOLOGIZING FOR FAILING TO CLEANSE YOURSELF, AS YOU ARE PART OF THE FILTH OF BRUTALS. RETURN TO YOUR “DOCTORS” AND GO TO SECOND LEVEL WITH THEM TO RECEIVE NEW INSTRUCTIONS – YOU WILL WORK IN THE GRAIN FIELDS TO SERVE THE VORTEX. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

  • Firearm Friday – Introduction to Long Range Precision Rifle Shooting

     

    Everyone loves to watch snipers in movies and TV shows make ultra-long shots undetected, then slip away. Anyone who’s seen the movie “Shooter” with Marky-Mark remembers the cold bore shot at a can of stew a mile away. First round hit? Yeah, right. That’s maybe a 2% shot, never mind his now-deaf dog. Just like most everything else in Hollywood, what you see is a very simplified version of what’s necessary to successfully hit a target farther away than most track and field events.

    Long range rifle shooting has a lot of moving parts that must come together perfectly, or you’re going to miss. In this article, I’ll be covering the absolute basics of lingo, gear, and what’s necessary to make hits at distance.

    My background: I’ve been shooting LR precision rifle matches for about 3 years. I was lucky to be employed by a precision rifle ammunition company and surrounded by some of the best in the industry, which jumpstarted my foray into the competitive LR world.

    In LR competitions, typically called precision rifle matches, we typically shoot 1 to 3 MOA steel targets at 300-1200 yards from a mix of prone and alternate positions. Matches are broken down into 5-10 stages, with about 10 rounds shot in ~90 seconds. Top shooters usually have a hit ratio of around 80%. There are a ton of local and national level matches, loosely governed by the PRS. It’s unbelievably fun, and I highly recommend it.

    Definitions

    For those who don’t speak the LR lingo yet, I’ll define my terms.

    Long Range: any shot taken that if the trajectory of the bullet is not accounted for, will result in missing the target. Long range is different for every rifle system and zero distance. What’s long range for .22LR could be a chip shot for .338 Lapua Mag.

    Minute of Angle (MOA): an angular unit of measurement equal to 1/60th of one degree. It scales linearly with distance. For simplicity, we can define one MOA as 1 inch at 100 yards, 5” at 500y, 10” at 1000y, etc.

    Ballistic Coefficient (BC): the ballistic coefficient of a projectile is a measure of its ability to overcome air resistance in flight. Longer, pointier bullets lose velocity more slowly than round, blunt bullets, resulting in less bullet drop and wind drift at the same distance. Less drop and drift leads to less trajectory calculation error and higher hit percentages.

    Transonic Range: the range of speed between about Mach 1.2 and Mach 0.8 (typically 1275 fps – 850 fps) where a bullet’s shockwave transitions from completely behind the bullet to completely in front of it. Because this happens over several hundred yards, each bullet design has a unique transition through this range, leading to trajectories that may not line up with predictions. Typically, longer, higher BC bullets are worse through transonic. This is why a weapon’s “effective range” is listed to what yardage the bullet reaches transonic. I.E. a 308 shooting a 175 SMK @ 2650 fps at sea level hits transonic at about 900 yards, which is where the “308 can’t shoot 1k yards” and “308s drop out of the sky at 900y” nonsense comes from.

    Equipment

    Accurate, repeatable, precision equipment, like the gear required to make first round hits at 800 yards is not cheap. I’ll list gear in descending order of importance.

    Ammunition – High quality, consistent ammunition loaded with the highest BC bullet available and temperature insensitive powder is the most important ingredient to successful long range shooting. Great ammo in an ok rifle can get you acceptable results. Bulk ammo in a top of the line rifle will have you all over the place at distance.

    “Good optics.”

    Optic – A good optic is essential. If you’re on a tight budget, I’d spend most of my money here. A $900 optic on a $300 rifle is a much better system than a $300 optic on a $900 rifle. You need precise, repeatable elevation turrets, a good reticle, magnification range suitable to your application, and clear glass. The fixed power SWFA mil quad scopes are a good budget option in the $300 range. I wouldn’t want anything less than a scope in the $8-1200 range, like a Vortex PST or a Bushnell DMR. Once you go above $1500, you get really good stuff. Zoom ranges I’d recommend are in the 3-15x to 5-25x range. Almost everyone in the competition world runs 5-25x, does most of their shooting on 15x, and their zeroing on 25x.

    Rifle – A rifle capable of 1″ 5 shot groups at 100 yards is a good minimum standard. I’m not happy with a load for a match unless it’s shooting 0.5″ or less. I’ll go in depth on cartridge selection later. Rifles meeting the 1″ criteria can be had for as little as $300. I’ve seen Savage Axis rifles shoot very well. The Ruger Precision Rifle is a great deal if you’re looking for a more feature rich rifle in the ~$1200 range. Most competition precision rigs are custom everything and will run you in the $3-5k range.

    Ballistic Solver – You absolutely, positively need to know your bullet’s trajectory to make first round hits. Thankfully, the app store has tons of solvers, most of which are very accurate with the correct inputs out to transonic. No more needing to verify dope every 100y (even though you still can to confirm). All you need is your bullet’s BC, your ammo/rifle specific muzzle velocity, and current atmospherics and you’re off to the races. I’m partial to the Applied Ballistics solver for $30, but there are other good options like Shooter for $10, etc. You can even get a small weather station with an anemometer (measures wind speed) called a Kestrel with ballistics solvers built in to give you current atmospheric corrected elevation AND estimated wind corrections.

    Laser Rangefinder – Once your target is out past a few hundred yards, your bullet’s trajectory starts dropping rapidly. If you think your target is at 770y but it’s really 700y, you’ve just missed a half a foot high. You absolutely need to know the range to your target to make first round hits. Thankfully, a Sig Kilo 2000 will range to 1000-1400 depending on light conditions, and do it for ~$400. You can buy better rangefinders, but less expensive units might not get you out to the magic 1k yard mark, which is within the capability of most rifles. It doesn’t help to have a rifle that can outshoot your rangefinder. Ranging with a reticle is very slow and error prone, especially out past 500y.

    Chronograph – Knowing precisely how fast your bullet is going is imperative to a good trajectory solution from your ballistic solver. The old school optical chronos are no match for either a magnetospeed or a lab radar. The former uses magnets to measure velocity, the latter uses radar. Both are sufficiently accurate and don’t run into the lighting condition induced errors that optical chronos suffer.

    Bubble Level – Even a few degrees of cant in your optic’s reticle can have a significant effect on your bullet’s trajectory. A miss that’s initially assumed to be a bad wind call can often be the effect of a few degrees of cant in a shooter’s reticle.

    There’s a ton more gear that I’d recommend buying, but as long as you have quality offerings of the above, you’ll have a solid foundation for LR accuracy.

    Taking the shot

    Seeing as though the equipment list above is a mile long, the process of making first round hits at distance is involved and surprisingly time-consuming. Here’s the procedure, assuming you’ve zeroed your rifle at 100y and have chronographed the lot of ammo you’re using:

    1. Range the distance to your target

    2. Use environmental indicators and/or a kestrel to estimate wind speed and direction

    3. Enter range, wind speed, atmospherics, and direction of fire into your ballistic calculator (muzzle velocity and BC are already entered)

    4. Either adjust your optic’s turrets to the solution provided or use the optic’s reticle to hold for the solution

    5. Double-check environmental wind indicators for any changes and that your bubble level indicates a level reticle

    6. Use solid marksmanship fundamentals and break the shot.

    Once you’ve broken the shot, its imperative that you mitigate recoil as much as possible, using both proper fundamentals, and, ideally, a muzzle device that aids in recoil reduction, such as a muzzle brake or a suppressor. In the event of a miss, being able to see your bullet splash is all the information you’ll have available to make a correction. If you fail to spot your miss, your correction will be a guess, and likely an incorrect one.

    This is where an experienced spotter on high-quality optics comes in very handy. He can be watching your bullet trace and impacts to call out immediate corrections for you to adjust and reengage.

    An incorrect wind hold is the most common reason for a miss. Wind is very hard to read correctly, and at 800y, a typical 308 can have around 20” worth of wind deflection in just a 5 mph wind. Seeing as though an average man is ~18” from shoulder to shoulder, aiming center and missing that 5 mph wind call would put your bullet nearly a foot off his shoulder.

    With a bit of practice and homework, you’ll start becoming a proficient LR shooter. I have to admit, watching your trace smack a piece of steel you can’t see with your naked eye is some seriously satisfying stuff.

  • ZARDOZ ANSWERS DEAR ABBY, ONCE AGAIN

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ MUST ONCE AGAIN PROVIDE HIS CHOSEN ONES WITH SUPERIOR ADVICE, LEST THEY HEED THE BRUTAL “DEAR ABBY“.  ZARDOZ DID NOT RAISE YOU FROM BRUTALITY, AND GIVE HIS CHOSEN ONES THE GIFT OF THE GUN, JUST TO HAVE POOR ADVICE FROM A BRUTAL SIDETRACK YOU. PAY HEED! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Q: DEAR ABBY: I’m a woman who was honorably discharged from the military recently and am now in an electrical construction apprenticeship. I’m starting a great career in a field I love that can give me a comfortable living without having to rely on a second job.

    My problem is my family. Most of them are convinced that I hate men or I wish I was one. The rest are sure that I will emasculate anyone I would start dating.

     I’m not a lesbian, and I like being female. I have no problem with anyone who follows different life paths than mine.

    My family is basing these opinions purely on what I have chosen to do for work. In their opinion, because I chose to work in what is considered nontraditional employment for “nice young ladies,” as they put it, and can work on my house and car without extra assistance, it must be true.

    I have tried repeatedly to explain that what I have chosen for a living has no bearing on my gender identity or my sexual orientation. They are completely ignoring anything I have to say about my life and life choices.

    Sometimes I wonder how I’m even related to these people. If I were asked to deploy back to the war zone, I’d happily leave tomorrow, because it would be easier than dealing with the small-minded, narrow viewpoints I’m encountering here at home. — HOW CAN I MAKE THEM LISTEN?

     

    A: ZARDOZ IS DISPLEASED. YOUR CALLING WAS AS A BRUTAL EXTERMINATOR, YET YOU LEFT THAT TO BEGIN MAKING HOMES FOR THE BRUTALS, WHO ARE LEGION. WORRY NOT WHAT YOUR MISERABLE BRUTAL FAMILY THINKS – WORRY WHAT ZARDOZ THINKS! RETURN TO THE RANKS OF THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS, AND CLEANSE YOUR FAMILY. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Q: DEAR ABBY: My sister “Eileen” is married to her second husband, a man I’ll call Harry. He’s nice, but some of his choices landed him in jail for a while. I’m polite when we see him, but I don’t trust him.

    Eileen and Harry live beyond their means. They rent a large house and buy luxury cars rather than something more economical. These are my observations; I never mention them to my sister. Although she’s happy to give advice on what’s wrong with my life, she becomes defensive if anyone else says anything about how she lives.

    My concern is, she refuses to visit or spend time with me and my family without her husband. Before our mom’s death a few years ago, I offered to buy her an airline ticket to fly here for a few days to visit. Because she’s very organized, I recently invited her to come — at my expense — and offered to pay her to help me declutter my house. She declined both invitations because I wouldn’t buy a ticket for Harry. (I didn’t have the money.)

    I think my sister’s marriage is very co-dependent. Abby, what should I do? — WANTS SOME SISTER TIME

     

    A: ZARDOZ HAS WEIGHED THE DILEMMA, AND HE HAS AN ANSWER FOR YOU… YOU MUST GO TO YOUR SISTER, AND BE SURE SHE HAS NOT CREATED NEW LIFE WITH THIS SECOND BRUTAL SHE HAS MARRIED. IF SHE WILL NOT GO TO SECOND LEVEL MEDITATION WITH YOU – SHE IS TO BE SHUNNED, AS ANY BRUTAL WHO POISONS THE EARTH WITH A PLAGUE OF MEN. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Q: DEAR ABBY: My husband works for a small company owned by a nice couple. They have a teenage daughter who keeps asking to baby-sit our three kids.

    Abby, we have a special needs child and a new baby. Although the girl seems to be kind and responsible, our children would be a challenge for an adult, let alone a teenager.

    Also, we are on a very tight, one-income budget with money needed for therapies. I don’t want to mention it because I don’t want to insinuate they aren’t paying my husband enough, but it is a serious deterrent.

    How can I gracefully decline her offers without offending my husband’s employer? Keeping him in good standing with his company is my primary concern because he works hard and loves his job. — ANONYMOUS IN THE USA

     

    A: ZARDOZ FEELS HIS WRATH AND DISPLEASURE RISING. YOU WORRY ABOUT MERE BABYSITTING?! YOU HAVE THRICE CREATED NEW LIFE, TO PLAGUE THE EARTH WITH THE FILTH OF BRUTALS. THE ONLY CONCERN YOU SHOULD HAVE IS HOW TO ATONE FOR THIS GRAVE ERROR. REMAIN WHERE YOU ARE, IN PENITENCE, AS ZARDOZ DISPATCHES BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS. YOUR HUSBAND SHOULD SEIZE THE BRUTAL BOSSES’ BUSINESS AND PUT THE STAFF TO WORK, GROWING GRAIN FOR THE VORTEX…INCLUDING THE PUSHY TEENAGE BABYSITTING BRUTAL. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

  • Halloween at Yusef’s!

    I grew up knowing that Halloween means trick or treating, usually going from house to house collecting candy, dressed in some sort of costume. Sometimes the school would have a parade where you could flaunt your silly costumes, but whatever, it was fun.

    When I grew older and had kids of my own, I noticed people dropping their kids off in my neighborhood. Odd, I thought, until I realized: they have no trick or treating, no candy, nothing where they live for whatever reason, and that must suck.

    I gave up on whether the kids are local and just focused on the fun.

    To my Wendy and I, Halloween is a favorite holiday.

    And it just keeps getting bigger and better for us. Wendy is worried about sound, but I have actually done checks and where she wants to be, giving out the candy, we are fine. I learned little kids get startled and scared so we play very low and spooky, and they dig it.

    “I think we should call it your grave!”

    I built a graveyard and set up strobe lights and some green, purple, and orange lights on the ground for effect. Then I run a sub-cooled fog machine across the graveyard, which looks uber cool as long as the wind doesn’t get too crazy.

    Going with live scary music with my guitar player on Morlock/Borg guitar.

    Massive disco lights and two fog machines. I need to notify the Fire department before I do it.  (Ask me how I know.) This year will be the best ever.

    Too many folks forget the fun, focusing on politics, scary things, and Democrats. My kids had a great time trick or treating, but it seems to a fading tradition.

    So take those kids where the candy is and have a killer Halloween!

    I am the Time Traveler.

    Fuck you John Titor*

    *optional

     

     

  • Maybe It’s the Internet

     

    The spark for this rant came from this piece on Oprah.com called “The New Midlife Crisis.” Though this one focused specifically on Gen X women, I’ve seen the details before in articles about millennials of both genders, about working people, about teenagers (Gen Z or whatever the heck we’re calling them), on and on: people are stressed. Diagnoses of depression and anxiety are at all-time highs. Humanity is in crisis, be it mid-life or quarter-life or whatever. Everyone is unhappy and no one knows why.

    I don’t deny that people are more stressed, depressed, and anxious. I’ve witnessed it firsthand. I’ve experienced it personally. Every article has a different theory: it’s because of the economy, it’s because of white supremacy, it’s because of capitalism, it’s the damn Republicans’ fault. But I think I know the answer and, in fact, I can almost guarantee that my theory is right.

    IT’S THE INTERNET.

    There are a lot of hand-wringing articles about younger millennials and the next generation growing up on the internet and spending most of their time on it. But no one seems to acknowledge the fact that older people use the internet too, you know. I am a millennial but I’m a bit of an older one (1985), so my family didn’t have a PC until I was in around fifth or sixth grade; we had no internet until freshman year of high school, and there was no such thing as smartphones until I was already out of college.

    I did spend quite a bit of my formative years on the internet, but it was in the “Web 1.0” era. Slow internet speeds, basic web pages and no social media. I made a lot of friends online, but the settings were very similar to those at Glib: we all interacted under screen names. Very few people knew my real name or what I looked like. I spent time on fandom message boards, LiveJournal, fanlistings and the very occasional IRC chat room. We’d leave comment threads pertaining to a specific topic, such as whether those who watched dubbed anime should be burned at the stake or not. (Full disclosure: I am a dubbie, not a subbie. Feel free to shun the nonbeliever.) The friends I made in those places didn’t know every single detail of my life—we’d just talk about Sailor Moon or video games or whatever. It was an escape from reality, a nice way to de-stress when I got home from school. Building fanlistings was a fun way to teach myself web design and Photoshop as a creative outlet. It was a more innocent age.

    Since the rise of MySpace and then Facebook, the internet has evolved, and you can easily see that the ways it has encroached more and more steadily into our lives is a recipe for stress overload. Moving away from the previous online culture of anonymity and limited sharing, social media has encouraged us to SHARE MOAR! SHARE MOAR! SHARE EVERY SINGLE DETAIL OF YOUR LIFE!

    People live on social media, blurting out every little thing that comes to mind. Status updates for every second of every day. Everyone knows the second you start dating someone, the second you break up, when you get a job and when you lose one, what time you get up in the morning and what time you go to bed. Photos of every meal, every drink from a bar or a coffee shop, every outfit, every haircut. Family drama gets aired like dirty laundry. And don’t even talk to me about people with kids. Every milestone in life gets a professional photographer involved. Proposal photos, engagement photos, wedding photos, anniversary photos, pregnancy announcement photos, shower photos, gender reveal photos, photos with a chalkboard saying whatever week you’re at in your pregnancy, BIRTH photos—women are literally having someone glam them up while they’re in the damn hospital and posing with the baby on their naked chests. I could make a collage of these. They all look the same. And then once the kid’s popped, it’s annual family photos, holiday photos, first-day-of-school photos, the photo cycle never ends.

    People get on Facebook Live or Instagram Stories or myriad other video sharing platforms even while they’re driving their damn cars and fill the empty space with the sound of their voices. It’s performance art. People are building an audience, whether they are looking for strangers to become their followers or just subjecting their family and friends to it.

    So many people, saying so much…

    Every second of everyone’s life is on display. And it seems like the general public is only acknowledging that this as a problem for the teens and young millennials. But I’ll tell you what, these Gen X women? I have gotten to know a number of women around ten to fifteen years older than me since I started publishing, which means that I’m seeing a bunch of moms whose kids are graduating high school and going to college, and HO-LY SHIT. These women have the millennial moms with the toddlers beat. They won’t shut up about their kids, and they’re tagging the kids in the status updates. One woman the other day posted a public Facebook post calling out a girl her college freshman daughter was friends with, shaming her for being ‘a backstabber’. AND SHE TAGGED THE DAUGHTER IN IT, so now all the daughter’s friends will see it.

    This is just one example of the pervasive oversharing that’s going on thanks to social media. But it’s not just the cringe factor that’s the problem. From all these pro photo shoots for every moment of someone’s life to the professional networking aspect of social media, social media is encouraging unhealthy levels of competition. I’d be the first to admit that some competition is a good thing, as it encourages people to excel; but there needs to be some moderation. Before the internet, competitiveness was limited to face-to-face interaction or specific tasks. With the internet, it’s 24/7. People are lying in bed trying to sleep at night looking at their phones and seeing Sally Supermom coifed and made up like a model in a hospital bed with baby number three posed tenderly on her bare chest. #blessed #wokeuplikethis

    When everyone around you seems like they’ve got their shit together and you feel like you don’t, it can be very difficult to ignore feelings of helplessness or desperation that ensue.

    For me personally, it’s very, very hard for me to be around other authors. Especially with the rise of indie publishing, there are a lot of Type A personality authors who are obsessed with maximizing productivity, and they can be overwhelming. “I wrote 50,000 words this week but I think I can get it up to 75,000 if I use dictation software so I can ‘write’ while I do chores and use my exercycle.” “I’ve been feeling a bit drained recently, so I’ve been doing thirty minute bursts of mindful meditation after every 5000 words, and I’ve found it lets me get my productivity up even higher—I’m averaging 30,000 words a day!” “You’re never going to make it in this industry if you don’t put a book out at least once every three months, so you need to focus on ways to write faster while also maintaining a well-balanced social life, running five miles every day so you’re not a fatty, raising 2.5 children and experiencing spiritual enlightenment through the teachings of Zen Buddhist monks!”

    American politics

    And you’ll notice I’ve not even mentioned politics at this point. Because I think we all know what the state of politics is like thanks to the internet. It would take a whole separate article to talk about that trash fire.

    My point is: I’m not surprised at all that stress, depression and anxiety are at all-time highs. And there’s a solution, as difficult as it is to accept—if you want to feel better, you’ve got to get off the internet. I know it’s hard. And sometimes you don’t have a choice, especially if you have a job that requires social media marketing. But we as individuals all need to make a conscious choice to cut back. If you can’t deactivate Facebook entirely, use it sparingly, and don’t be afraid to unfollow every person who says something stupid. Same thing goes for Twitter, Instagram, and every other form of social media. I’ve noticed a marked improvement in my mood since blanket-muting just about every author on Twitter and only having exposure to William Shatner, Emergency Kittens and my local branch of the National Weather Service. The other day, I took the day off and did nothing but play video games and comment on Glib, and I felt so relaxed and unstressed afterwards (probably because it was a day that Derpetologist didn’t post).

    Want to solve the “crisis” crisis? Be you man or woman, a Gen X-er, a millennial, or someone older or younger, try cutting out or cutting back on social media. I can guarantee you that you will feel much better in a very short amount of time.

  • STEVE SMITH’S CAMPING AND NATURE TIPS

    STEVE SMITH LIKE FUNNY PEOPLE AT GLIBERTARIANS. WANT THEM, AND ALL PEOPLE, TO BE SAFE IN WOODS AND PARKS…WELL, NOT SAFE FROM STEVE SMITH! BUT SAFE FROM THINGS THAT ARE BITEY, STINGY OR CLAWY.  STEVE SMITH FIND THIS MAP, AND WANT TO SHARE. SEE HOW MAP NOT HAVE STEVE SMITH ON IT? STEVE SMITH NO KILL, BUT LOVE INSTEAD. BY LOVE, MEAN RAPE.

    STEVE SMITH GREET YOU!

    ALSO, STEVE SMITH WORRIED GLIBERTARIANS GO TO WRONG PLACES. SEE HOW STEVE SMITH’S WOODS ARE NOT ON MAP. WOODS ARE NICE PLACE. BY NICE PLACE, MEAN RAPE PLACE.

    WHY NO WANT TO VISIT STEVE SMITH?

    SO LAST OF ALL, STEVE SMITH GIVE EXAMPLES OF WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN CAMPING OR HIKING. FIRST IS, NO AVOID STEVE SMITH!  NEXT, SEE THESE:

    • NO BRING BOW TO GRIZZLY FIGHT!
    • NO GET FIREWOOD IN KITTY’S WOODS!
    • NO LIVE IN FLORIDA. PERIOD.

    STEVE SMITH SAY, STAY RAPED SAFE, VISIT HIS WOODS!  BUT IF YOU NO COME HERE, THEN SMART GLIBS CAN SUGGEST GUNS, BEAR SPRAY (IT TICKLE STEVE SMITH) OR OTHER THINGS.