Glibertarians.com 2017 Archive

Category: Advice

  • ZARDOZ ANSWERS “DEAR ABBY”

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ CONTINUES TO IDENTIFY ADVICE GIVING BRUTALS, “DEAR ABBY” IN THIS CASE, AND PROVIDE BETTER ADVICE THAN THEM. SURELY THE CHOSEN ONES WILL SEE THE TRUTH OF THIS – SEE “DEAR ABBY” HERE…AND HERE. ZARDOZ’S BETTER ADVICE IS GIVEN TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. GO FORTH AND READ. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

    ZARDOZ – CORRECT!
    “DEAR ABBY” – WRONG

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Q: DEAR ABBY: My son and I are very close. He joined the Marine Corps (a decision I fully support) and shipped out recently. I had read on a Marine family site that frequent letters from home are encouraged, so I had letters written even before I got his mailing address. I sent off three letters the day I got his address and another one three days later. They always start off with a supportive declaration (“I’m proud of you. You can do this.”) before moving on to what I hope are amusing anecdotes about what’s going on at home. I avoid topics that would make him homesick. I sign the letter with the initials of my son’s nickname for me. Last night, another family member told me I’m writing too often (that person has written one letter so far, and plans to wait at least a week before sending another). That family member said that the drill instructors and other recruits will notice and label my son a “mama’s boy.” This has caused me significant distress.

    Please tell me which is right: the website that recommends frequent letters, or my family member who advocates cutting back drastically? — MOM OF A MARINE

    A: ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, MOTHER OF THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATOR. YOUR SON WAS RAISED UP FROM BRUTALITY, TO KILL THE BRUTALS WHO MULTIPLY AND ARE LEGION. TO THIS END, ZARDOZ GAVE HIM THE GIFT OF THE GUN. THE GUN IS GOOD! YOU MUST NOT DISTRACT HIM FROM LEARNING TO CLEANSE BRUTALS. WRITE LESS OFTEN YOU HELICOPTER BRUTAL PARENT. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Q: DEAR ABBY: In view of all the recent tragic events, you would do a great service to remind everyone to be careful when donating. A lot of the money that was donated for 9/11 and other tragedies never got to the victims. Unfortunately, when tragedies occur, scammers view them as an opportunity to line their pockets. I’m not sure how to make sure the money gets to the right people, so I haven’t donated at all. Can you help with some information on this? — DIANA IN TEXAS

    A: ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, CHARITY GIVING ONE. YOU MUST GIVE DIRECTLY TO THE VORTEX! THE VORTEX PRESERVES THE ETERNALS. IF YOU ARE GIVING CHARITY TO YOUR FELLOW BRUTALS, YOU SHALL BE ENSLAVED TO GROW GRAIN FOR THE VORTEX. THE TABERNACLE IS DISPATCHING BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS TO YOUR LOCATION. REMAIN THERE! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Q: DEAR ABBY: My 62-year-old father has recently started to streak his hair with fluorescent colors. He does it when he goes to his job and coordinates his hair color with his outfits. As far as I know, his employer has not said anything as of yet. Also, Dad has difficulty with social cues. My mother and I aren’t happy with his “fashion” choices and we plead with him to stop doing this. It’s embarrassing because it looks stupid and ridiculous. He claims he doesn’t care what others think and that he has flair. Are my mother and I wrong to criticize his “flair”? Isn’t this behavior really inappropriate for a man his age? How can we convince him that he’s making a fool of himself and should stop? Your help is appreciated. — NO FOOL LIKE AN OLD FOOL

    A: ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS FOOLISH ONE. IT IS OBVIOUS THAT THE ETERNALS VOTED AGAINST YOUR FATHER – AND HE HAS BEEN AGED BY THEIR POWERS, TO THE POINT OF SENILITY. THIS HAPPENED TO THE ETERNALS GEORGE SADEN AND FRIEND. LET THEIR EXAMPLES BE A WARNING TO YOU – DO NOT MEDDLE IN THE AFFAIRS OF THE ETERNALS, LEST YOU BE NEXT! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

  • Fuck Hurricanes

    It looks like Nate is going to get big and ugly. Putting this here for people to check in and/or let us know what you need overnight and into the morning. Stay safe, Glibs. Let us know if we can help.

  • ZARDOZ ANSWERS “ASK AMY”

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ GREW BORED OF BATTING “DEAR PRUDENCE” AROUND LIKE A BRUTAL IN THE MIDDLE OF A PACK OF EXTERMINATORS. THEREFORE, ZARDOZ HAS CHOSEN A NEW ADVICE ADVERSARY, “ASK AMY“. OF COURSE, ZARDOZ PROVIDES THE BETTER ADVICE, THAT THE CHOSEN ONES SHOULD FOLLOW. CHOSEN ONES, SEE FOR YOURSELVES.

    WRONG
    CORRECT

     

    Q: My husband and I are getting divorced as a result of his longtime physical and emotional love affair with someone else, coupled with other random physical/sexual encounters throughout our marriage. We have a close-knit circle of friends who will be surprised that we’re splitting up. Without bad-mouthing my husband, when asked I would like to speak “my truth” about our divorce to our friends, especially the wives with whom I am very close. I definitely have not been the perfect wife; for instance, we have three kids (ages 13, 15, 17), and I didn’t always prioritize my husband and our relationship over the children. By the same token, I have never cheated on him, physically or emotionally, and I never would. Is it OK to speak frankly, but in a factual and nonjudgmental way, about what happened? Or do I owe my husband some sort of privacy or respect and therefore must speak vague platitudes, such as “We grew apart” or “We wanted different things”?

    — What May I Say?

    A: YOU HAVE ALREADY FAILED ZARDOZ! YOU HAVE MADE NEW LIFE TO POISON THE EARTH WITH A PLAGUE OF MEN. YOU MUST EXPLAIN TO YOUR BRUTAL FRIENDS THAT YOU WILL NOT GO TO SECOND LEVEL MEDITATION WITH THEM, AND THEN GO AND USE THE GIFT OF THE GUN TO SHOOT DEATH AT YOUR “HUSBAND”. GO FORTH AND KILL! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Q: Like “Nonhugger,” I don’t like to hug a lot of people. My wife tells me I have to do it, or others will feel slighted. My daughter-in-law has accepted that I say, “Let’s have the awkward hug,” when I welcome her. She has started to laugh about it as just part of our relationship. My oldest son makes a joke out of it as he embraces me in a man-hug. My other sons know the drill, but don’t doubt my love for them.

    — Not a Hugger

    A: BRUTAL, YOU TOO HAVE FAILED ZARDOZ! YOU MUST NOT TOUCH THE OTHER BRUTALS – YOU HAVE ALREADY FAILED, SINCE YOU HAVE “SONS”. YOU MUST PUT YOURSELF IN THE MINDSET OF THE EXTERMINATOR ZED – “I love to see them running. I love the moments of their deaths – when I am one with Zardoz.” AND YOU MUST CLEANSE YOUR FAMILY, ALL OF THEM! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Q: I am a young woman on staff at a small nonprofit organization focused on elementary school children. Our executive director, a much older man, is very nice and well-intentioned but continues to make inappropriate clothing choices for his body type. He is single and lives alone, so he has no one at home to tell him that his shirts are much too small and that the bottom of his rotund belly is constantly exposed. This makes everyone on our board and staff visibly uncomfortable. Our staff has discussed the issue, and one colleague informed him that he needs to be wearing different shirts around our young visitors. Unfortunately, the advice did not stick, and he has returned to wearing the same old ill-fitting shirts around town and to work events. I feel my approaching him would embarrass him more than if one of my older or perhaps male colleagues took him aside. Is there a good way for one of us to gently suggest he go shopping for clothing that fits?

    — Don’t Look Down

    A: YOU HAVE BEEN RAISED UP FROM BRUTALITY, TO KILL BRUTALS SUCH AS THIS POT BELLIED BRUTAL. TO THIS END, ZARDOZ YOUR GOD GAVE YOU THE GIFT OF THE GUN. THE GUN IS GOOD! YOU MUST POINT A WEBLEY-FOSBERY REVOLVER AT THE FAT BRUTAL, AND CLEANSE HIM, IF HIS ATTIRE IS INAPPROPRIATE. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

  • ZARDOZ ANSWERS DEAR PRUDENCE, YET AGAIN.

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. DESPITE ZARDOZ’S SUPERIOR ADVICE, IT APPEARS THE BRUTAL “DEAR PRUDENCE” IS STILL ATTEMPTING TO ANSWER QUESTIONS FROM ADVICE WANTING BRUTALS. IT IS UP TO ZARDOZ TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT, AND GIVE THE SUPERIOR ADVICE.

    BETTER ADVICE
    POOR ADVICE

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Q: Years ago, while my wife and I were separated, I foolishly slept with “Molly,” who became pregnant with my daughter “Ally.” I reconciled with my wife, and ultimately we won custody of Ally when she was 9, after Molly went through a series of boyfriends and made repeated sexual overtures toward me. My wife has been incredible, but Molly’s influence has been strong. After completing her court-ordered therapy, Molly filed for custody when Ally was 13, and two years later Ally went to live with her permanently. Ally went from respectful and sweet to insubordinate and cruel. Finally, she used racial epithets against my wife and stepdaughters, and I threw her out of the house. She did the same thing when my wife and I came to her high school graduation. Molly looked so proud of her.

    Ally is now 21. I haven’t spoken to her beyond a phone call on Christmas and her birthday unless she needs money. My wife openly grieves for the little girl that we lost, and my stepdaughters refuse to acknowledge Ally. I can’t blame them. I blame myself for not fighting harder, but what is done is done. At what point do I give up? Ally is sweet until she doesn’t get what she wants. The last time it was because I wouldn’t bail her drug-using boyfriend from jail; before that, it was when I wouldn’t buy her another car after she wrecked hers. I am tired and have no desire to do this dance for the next 20 years. I am at the end of my rope. For the record, I always paid my child support, while Molly didn’t pay a dime when Ally lived with me. I love my daughter, but I also love my wife and stepdaughters. I would give anything to have the Ally who I raised back, but that is an impossibility now. I don’t know what to do.

    —Do I Give Up?

    A: FOOLISH BRUTAL! YOU CREATED NEW LIFE. YOUR ANSWER WAS NOT TO GIVE UP YEARS LATER, BUT TO PURIFY THE EARTH OF THE FILTH OF BRUTALS. YOU MUST CORRECT YOUR ERROR. GO FORTH AND KILL! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Q: I’m 31 and was with my ex-husband, Charlie, for 12 years. In May he told me he’d fallen in love with his co-worker and asked me for a divorce. I thought our marriage could be saved and tried to persuade Charlie to reconcile, but he was utterly done with me. I upset him by not accepting the end of our marriage, and he told me in no uncertain terms that we’d never really loved each other, that our marriage was a lie, and that his co-worker was his true love. I know he finds my heartbreak pathetic. I wish I could hate him, but I just miss him. I know our marriage is over and will move on, but I’m struggling to accept that our entire marriage was a fraud. I love Charlie, and he convinced me (and our friends and families) that he felt the same. How do you mourn the end of a relationship when the other person tells you that you imagined the whole thing?

    —Was My Marriage a Lie?

    A: YOU MUST ADOPT THE ATTITUDE OF THE TABERNACLE. TELL THE BRUTAL CHARLIE “YOU HAVE PENETRATED ME. THERE IS NO ESCAPE. YOU ARE WITHIN ME. COME INTO MY CENTER. COME INTO THE CENTER OF THE CRYSTAL.” WHILE THE BRUTAL CHARLIE TRIES TO FIGURE THIS STATEMENT OUT, GO AND CLEANSE HIS CO-WORKER. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Q: In order to teach our young kids about money, when we started giving them an allowance, we had them place 10 percent into investments we managed on their behalf. This has gone well for our older son—better than we could have ever guessed, thanks to some amazingly lucky investments. Our banker has suggested that by the time our son reaches adulthood, the fund could be greater than anything we imagined when we created it. Our problem is what to do about our younger son, who is unlikely to see the same return on his investments. We have unwittingly created a situation of extreme inequality among our kids.

    Since my older son is a minor and the account is in my name, I am able to transfer some of the value to our other son’s account. Part of me thinks this is fair, since the investment plan wasn’t initiated by either of our children, so I can’t tell my younger son that his brother deserves the money due to his own wise planning. Our older son had luck and timing on his side, and nothing else. Should I divide the money in the name of equal treatment?

    —Money Management

    A: IGNORANT BRUTAL! YOU SHOULD PLUNDER BOTH ACCOUNTS, AND SPEND THE FUNDS ON THE GUN. IF EITHER OF YOUR MISERABLE OFFSPRING QUESTION WHERE THE MONEY IS, SIMPLY USE THE WORDS OF THE TABERNACLE – “CAUTION: YOU ARE APPROACHING THE PERIPHERY SHIELD OF VORTEX FOUR. CAUTION: YOU ARE APPROACHING THE PERIPHERY SHIELD OF VORTEX FOUR.” ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

  • ZARDOZ ANSWERS DEAR PRUDENCE … AGAIN

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ONCE MORE THE BRUTAL “DEAR PRUDENCE” HAS PROVIDED INFERIOR ADVICE TO HER FELLOW BRUTALS. IT IS NOW INCUMBENT ON ZARDOZ TO CORRECT THIS, AND PROVIDE SUPERIOR ANSWERS.

    WRONG!
    CORRECT!

    Q. Fiancé worried my genes will affect his son’s “package:” I have recently become engaged to my longtime boyfriend. Whenever the topic of children came up, he would insist he only wanted girls because his siblings were all brothers so another male in the family would be boring. Last week, however, he forwarded me an email from his brother (also his best man) with some information I needed for wedding planning, but the email was part of a much larger running conversation. I was mortified when I read his real reason for not wanting a son is that my “Asian genes” would mean his son would have a “small package!” My brother was bullied by jocks using this idiotic stereotype in high school so I was incredibly angered, but I haven’t said anything about what I read yet. He has begun asking why I am so distant lately, but I have no idea how to confront him!

    A.  The Penis is evil! The Penis shoots Seeds, and makes new Life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was. If you disregard Zardoz’s commands to NOT make new life, the least you can do is insure the Evil Penis will be a small one. Otherwise, cleanse your fiance…go forth and kill! Zardoz has spoken.

     

    Q. Am I just jealous?: I thought I was happy with my life and making good progress. I have a job I like, my husband just went from contracting to permanent at his company, we are starting to look for a condo, we are saving for retirement. Then all of a sudden some of my friends are making major life changes, and I suddenly feel like I am failing or pathetic by companion. One is moving from the Bay Area to Sacramento to a house she and her husband bought, one is moving to Portland, one is going to grad school in France, and one is going to Ireland. While my husband points out that some of them are just running away from their problems and that none of them are saving for the future the way we are, I feel like I am somehow failing.

    We are all in our 30s. Some of it is the idea of losing some friends who, while I didn’t see as often as I would like, will leave an absence for me, some of it is this feeling like I should be doing more. What is wrong with me? Am I just jealous that they are having an adventure and I am playing it safe?

    A. Pathetic Brutal!  You have been raised up from Brutality, to kill the Brutals who multiply, and are legion. To this end, Zardoz your God gave you the gift of the Gun. The Gun is good! You must track down your friends and cleanse them. Except for the one going to Ireland. Zardoz wishes that one to be enslaved, to grow grain for the Eternals in the Vortex. Go forth and kill (or enslave)!  Zardoz has spoken.

     

    Q. How do I diffuse this?: I’m a female truck driver who has one pickup and one delivery customer, so I see the same people multiple times a day. I apparently read one fella’s signals wrong and asked him to accompany me to a concert. Before I even got the whole question out he looked panicky, was shaking his head, and said, “No, thank you.” I really regret asking him because then he got super weird—he even started using his co-workers as chaperones! I didn’t have a chance to let him know I was cool with his refusal, as he kept getting the chaperones. So I wrote him a note and stuck it where I knew he’d find it. He stopped with the chaperones, and we were almost normal.

    That was a couple months ago. A few days ago I discovered that one of my co-workers was talking about me with this man—he’s so freaked out it’s ridiculous! I have been nothing but polite, decent, and respectful, yet that doesn’t seem to mean anything to him. Do I speak to him? Ignore it? Help!

    A. You must recall the words of the Enforcer Zed – “I love to see them running. I love the moments of their deaths – when I am one with Zardoz.” Hunt him down and cleanse him. And his chaperones too. Go forth and kill! Zardoz has spoken.

     

    If you take this advice, Chosen Ones, then Zardoz is pleased.

  • Hurricane Clearinghouse II

    OK, no kidding around. NO OT LINKS or material. This is going to stay up and be the spot where our hurricane area Glibs can post their status, requests for help, offers of aid and the like. I will delete OT material and refer you to SP for the appropriate cyber ass kicking.

    National Hurricane Center

    Charity Navigator

    If you are in the storm path – leave. Your stuff is replaceable. You are not.

     

    UPDATE: If you have insurance questions, I can probably help at least get you on track. My email is in the comments.

  • Hurricane Central

    Glibs,

    Having been inspired by sloopy’s efforts, the travails of our FL Glibs, and remembering my own fun with Katrina and Rita:

    Take the $%#&ing tent down! Rita is a comin’!

    I have decided to post a few things here – and this can be the place our Glibs involved with the various storms and their aftermath can keep us updated on their SAFETY (first and foremost) needs, wants, etc.

    First, the givings of teh monies. Charitable giving is a wonderful example of voluntary action. But how do you know your donation is going to go to help people, not for administrative overhead, bloated salaries and cocktailz? Start here. My short advice – yes to the Salvation Army, no to the Red Cross.

    Second, the storms that are currently churning around. Where are they going? Try here, for the latest. As a minarchist, this is one of the government agencies I can approve of…

     

    And for once, I am NOT going to bitch about people posting their own links in here – I want your links to helpful sites, information, stories – whatever you think will help.

    And FL and TX Glibs – please let us know, if you can, how you are doing. Please stay safe as you can. Things can be replaced. You cannot.

  • ZARDOZ ANSWERS DEAR PRUDENCE II

    ZAROZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ HAS AGAIN REVIEWED THE ADVICE COLUMN BY THE BRUTAL “DEAR PRUDENCE”. YOU MAY READ THE INADEQUATE ANSWERS SHE GIVE HERE.

    ZARDOZ WILL GIVE HIS ADVICE, SO HIS CHOSEN ONES ARE NOT LED ASTRAY!

     

    Dear Prudence,
    For medical reasons, I cannot drive. Happily, my husband enjoys driving and can be counted on to get us where we need to go. I’m very fortunate; he never complains, and he’s a very skilled driver. Unfortunately, he’s not a safe driver. He always pushes the speed limit, frequently at dangerously high speeds of over 100 mph. He perceives other drivers as threats and aggressively weaves through traffic to outmaneuver them. He’s been involved in no shortage of road-rage close calls as a result, even with me in the car screaming at him, begging him, pleading with him to slow down.

    More than once, I’ve genuinely feared for my life and called 911, but I hung up when he slowed down. This is the only way his anger manifests, but when it does, it is truly terrifying. He’s put my life, and the lives of other people on the road, at risk of death more times than I can count. We’ve fought so many times over this. I’ve brought it up while he’s driving, while he’s not driving, while we’re having dinner, in “we need to talk”–style conversations. I’ve cried. He’s made half-hearted promises to change but never followed through.

    I love him. He’s the only man I’ve ever been with who otherwise completely “gets” me. He’s supportive of me in all my endeavors. Our physical chemistry is great. I don’t want to leave him. But I also don’t have the option of taking over the driver’s seat, and I don’t want to die in a fiery car crash. The fact that he dismisses my fears and tells me I’m overreacting when all of our friends are terrified of his driving just strikes me as a terrible disconnect. How can I make him see that the risks that he takes as a driver are unacceptable, once and for all?

    —Terrified Passenger

     

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS TERRIFIED CHOSEN PASSENGER. ZARDOZ IS PLEASED WITH THE BRUTAL HUSBAND’S DRIVING. IF IT THREATENS LIFE OF THE BRUTALS WHO PLAGUE THE EARTH – IT MUST BE PERMITTED…NO, ENCOURAGED.  CEASE YOUR ATTEMPTS TO CALL ENFORCERS. ACCOMPANY YOUR HUSBAND IN HIS AUTO. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Dear Prudence,
    In February I had a manic episode and was hospitalized and diagnosed with bipolar disorder. During my mania I sent a colleague a romantic message (to which he sent a terse reply), followed by a couple of aggressive emails. While I was in the hospital I sent him messages apologizing for my behavior, and after I’d been out for a month, I sent him a letter. I haven’t heard from him at all.

    I am torn because I don’t know how he feels. What can I do to forgive myself for my mania if he has no interest in forgiving me?

    —Letting Go of Bipolar Behavior

     

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO HIS CHOSEN BI-POLAR ONE. WERE YOU NOT RAISED UP FROM BRUTALITY TO KILL BRUTALS, WHO MULTIPLY AND ARE LEGION? YOU MUST EMBRACE YOUR MANIA – AND MANIFEST IT IN VIOLENCE AGAINST YOUR FELLOW BRUTALS. YOU MUST FIND THE BRUTAL REJECTOR OF YOUR ADVANCE AND KILL! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Dear Prudence,
    My husband is in the process of coming out as trans. This means that I, a heretofore assumed straight male, am also coming out as bisexual. I’m so happy that this is something that my partner and I can experience together. But I am dreading coming out to my image-obsessed mother. My mom is a truth-suppression machine. As a teenager, she compelled me to live with the secret of my father’s arrest for sex crimes. When I was in college, I made the mistake of being honest with her about my atheism, which led to her attempt to manipulate and even intimidate me into hiding this as well. Truth be told, she succeeded in part. Although I told a few friends and family members, against her wishes, it was almost two years before I went public. She felt free to tell anyone she felt like talking to. But I was supposed to take these “shameful” secrets to my grave.

    My mother’s family is hostile to the LGBT community, and I have little doubt that her reaction to the dual revelations that her daughter-in-law is actually her son-in-law, and yes, her son is equally happy being married to another man, will be to try to sweep everything under the rug. Our relationship is barely starting to mend as things are. I won’t be able forgive her for this again, especially since she hasn’t asked for forgiveness for the last two times she did this to me, although I told her very clearly how I had been hurt. I am desperate for any way to forestall her knee-jerk reaction, but I can’t not tell my family forever. What should I do?

    —Happy With Him, Not Sure About Her

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO HIS NOT SURE CHOSEN ONE. ZARDOZ WILL STRETCH THE BOUNDARIES OF HIS ARTHUR FRAYN PROVIDED INTELLIGENCE AND ASSUME THIS IS “REAL”. ZARDOZ HAS CONSULTED THE ETERNALS IN THE VORTEX AND THE ETERNAL MAY ADVISES:

    “For the sake of science, I will keep this knowledge from the others, for the time being. But you must follow me, obey me, be circumspect, make no disruption, quietly do whatever work is given you. I will watch over you.”

    YOU MUST FOLLOW THIS COMMAND. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Dear Prudence,
    I recently got new health insurance (a bare-bones HMO plan). I want to get the birth control arm implant, but none of the doctors in my network offer this procedure, nor will my insurance authorize me to go elsewhere to get it done. I can get the pill or an IUD for free under my insurance, but I’ve had a lot of problems with IUDs before and hate taking a pill every day and making frequent visits to the pharmacy. I want something long-term that I can “set and forget.” I could pay out of pocket for the implant at a Planned Parenthood, but it would cost $800. I could dip into my savings to make it work, but it would hurt. My long-term boyfriend makes more than twice what I do, and I know if I asked him outright to help pay for half, he’d oblige, but I don’t know if that’s a reasonable request. I know not having a baby is worth well over $400 to him, but since I could technically afford it, it feels like mooching. Should I suck it up and pay for it myself or ask him to chip in?

    —Babies Ain’t Cheap, Either

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO HIS CHEAP, CHOSEN ONE. HAS ZADOZ NOT REPEATEDLY ADVISED YOU, THE PENIS IS EVIL?! THE PENIS SHOOTS SEEDS, AND MAKES NEW LIFE TO POISON THE EARTH WITH A PLAGUE OF MEN, AS ONCE IT WAS. IF YOUR “LONG-TERM BOYFRIEND” BRUTAL WILL NOT PAY TO PREVENT THE MAKING OF NEW LIFE, THEN USE THE GIFT OF THE GUN. FOR THE GUN SHOOTS DEATH AND PURIFIES THE EARTH OF THE FILTH OF BRUTALS. GO FORTH AND GET THE SHOT, OR KILL. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

  • Sunday Midday Sharing Thread

    So a bunch of the Founders were sitting around the campfire in Sloopy ‘n’ Banjo’s waterlogged garage drinking, swapping stories, singing campfire hurricane party songs late last night, and the drunken conversation eventually turned philosophical, as it will, and we began to ponder the larger questions…

    Does OMWC have any of the cool retro confections like Candy Cigarettes, Bit-O-Honey, Wax Lips or Atomic Fire Balls, and, if so, what are the odds he’s been hoarding it since his own misspent childhood?

    Is SugarFree’s Pit of Depravity truly bottomless?

    Will jesse.in.mb ever post another Manly Monday or are there no Real Men left out there?

    You get the idea.

    But I’m a bit more practical, myself. I want to know Things That Are Useful. And given that I am a realist, I believe that you, Dear Glibertariat, have been cheating on us. And I want answers.

    Yeah, yeah, you love us best, those other sites and social media accounts mean nothing to you, you’ll always come back to us in the end, yada yada. Come on. I know the guilt is eating you alive.

    This is your chance to come clean, to clear the air, to finally just put it all out there for everyone to see. (Not you, OMWC. Just put that thing away already.)

    We invite you to share your other website loves, the social media accounts and news sites you always check out, the YouTube channels –um, maybe not your faves Heroic Mulatto– where you spend entirely too much time mesmerized. Fun stuff, serious and reflective commentary, your own blog, social media accounts or photo sharing sites. It’s all fair game in this judgment-free thread.

    Come on, open up. Let us in and you’ll never have to tell a new website that we just don’t understand you.


  • Finding Freedom in an Unfree World

    “The important thing is to concentrate upon what you can do – by yourself, upon your own initiative.”
    -Harry Browne

    This post is a condensed version of Harry Browne’s book How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World.  Harry Browne was an author and businessman who was the Libertarian Party’s nominee for president in 1996 and 2000.

    Not Harry Browne

    Freedom means being able to live your life the way you want to. The more free you are, the more time you spend on what you want to do, instead what you are forced to do or feel obligated to do. The best way to become free is through direct alternatives, actions that do not require the permission or cooperation of someone else.

    There are various obstacles to using direct alternatives. Browne calls them “traps” and the most common one is the selfishness trap. Most people are raised to believe that being selfish is bad, and that instead people ought to focus on making each other happy.

    Browne has an interesting way of debunking this idea. Suppose happiness is symbolized by a big, red rubber ball. The person who has the ball is happy, but he doesn’t want to be selfish, so he passes it someone else and so on. No one gets to be happy because they just pass the ball to someone else. What is the point of everyone sacrificing their happiness for other people who are also supposed to sacrifice their happiness? There is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy and everyone is selfish (focused on their own happiness) to a greater or lesser degree.

    And then there are laws and informal social obligations. How should we handle them? Browne says everyone must decide how much they will comply with the wishes of others. You couldn’t please everybody even if you wanted to. Most people are reluctant to break laws and say no to requests, but you must learn to do these things if you want to be happy. Browne says as long as you break the rules carefully and discreetly, you have little to fear.

    In relating with others, Browne says the key is keep the relationship limited to mutual benefit. You don’t have to like all the same things your spouse or lover or friend does. Remember that other people are pursuing their happiness too, and if you block them, they will resent it just as much as you would. For example, it may not be a good a idea to start a business with a friend because the business could change the relationship for the worse.

    The long and the short of it is nobody has an obligation to make you happy nor do you have an obligation to make anybody else happy. Realizing this is an exciting feeling. You are not helpless in the face of external forces. You can choose. And even in the worst circumstances, you have control of your own thoughts. You always have some freedom.

    There is no escaping the need to use your own judgement. Even when you decide to follow a religious, legal, or moral code, you used your own judgement to select it and you must use your judgement on when to disregard the code.

    So be free. There will always be people who will try to tie you up for no good reason. The key is to ignore them.

     

    “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

    “I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs.” 
    -Frederick Douglass

    “Freedom comes only from seeing the ignorance of your critics and discovering the emptiness of their virtue.”
    -David Seabury

    “Live free or die.”
    -NH state motto

    “And when someone accuses you of being selfish, just remember that he’s upset only because you aren’t doing what he selfishly wants you to do.”
    -Harry Browne

    “If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.”
    -Mae West

    “Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven’t got the remotest knowledge of how to live nor the smallest instinct about when to die.”
    -Oscar Wilde

    “To be nobody but yourself — in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you somebody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”
    -e.e. cummings