Category: Daily Links

Also known as the World Series Game 1 Links. or even the Global Warming World Series Eco-killer Links.  Or whatever else. Just don’t call it the Yankees Latest World Series. Because it is definitely not that, although I think Aaron Judge did strike out while answering a question about who he thinks will win it all.  I believe he was taken aback when the reporter threw him a couple of curveball questions.  But I’m not here to be mean. I’m sure he’s going to have a hell of a career. And I mean that in all sincerity. Dude just needs to learn to his curveballs away and occasionally take something off that swing and hit for average.

Now, it is gonna be hot today in L.A.  They’re expecting it to dip just below 100 for the start.  Tomorrow will bring little relief. And in a series where a few of the absolute best pitchers in baseball will be taking the hill, it will be interesting to see how they are able to maintain.  Let’s hope for a fun start tonight.

And oh yeah, the Wall Street Journal does some solid, and truthful, sports reporting from time to time. I enjoyed that thoroughly.  I hope you do as well. (It opens for me from the tweet, but if it doesn’t for you, copy it and then open in a private window.)

Right, that’s that with sports.  Time for…the links!

Talk about upsetting your narrative. MSNBC gets more yuk-yuks than Saturday Night Live anymore.

This is how modern men become the Unsullied. Except, you know, they probably can’t fight.  Seriously though, if you’re taking this class, you should just go have your dick and balls cut completely off and chucked in the Potomac River.  Then tie a cinder block to your foot and jump in after it.

Hobos about to be kicked to the curb in Bay Area. But the local denizens have so much compassion, they’re demanding our tax dollars be used for a “solution” to the “problem”.  In the immortal words of the Representative from South Carolina “I got a solution. You’re a dick!”  They can use their own money. Or at least the tax money from Californians.

MATT DAMON!!!!! Way to take a brave stand, ass.

I’m sure you’re just as shocked as I am. But its true. Chicago residents will face property tax hikes in 2020 and 2021 to try and fund municipal pension funds.

Chicago taxpayers face yet another property tax increase for police and fire pensions in 2020 — and another hike the following year in the tax tacked onto water and sewer bills to save the Municipal Employees pension fund, aldermen learned on the first day of City Council budget hearings.

Following five-year “ramp-up” periods, the additional increases will be needed to honor the city’s statutory promise to keep all four city government pension funds on the road to 90 percent funding by 2048.

By the city’s own estimate, police and fire pension costs will rise by $297.3 million, or 36 percent, in 2020. The Municipal and Laborers plan costs will grow by $330.4 million, or 50 percent, in 2022.

Well, enjoy being fiscally raped for the foreseeable future, Chicagoans. Because rates rising that sharply this quickly will never, ever be shored up.  This is what happens when your one-party ruled city lets pubsec unions fund campaigns and then sit across the bargaining table from the people whose campaigns they funded.  You have two viable solutions: bankruptcy with the legacy costs being discharged. The other involves nuclear bombardment from a space platform.  I wish you luck.

LOL How could she ever have thought this was a good idea?

They better not start calling this cultural appropriation or I’m gonna fucking lose it.

Have a safe trip, Banjos.  See you in a couple days. I’ll try not to let the house go completely to shit. The rest of you…pray for me.

Man, the games yesterday were really, really, really bad. I have a purple and black paper bag to put over my head when SP and I go to Lambeau to see the Rodgers-free packers take on the Ravens and Joe Flaccid. The other games were no better- just piss poor play. If I’m ever made King, I will take five actions:

1. Get rid of all domes and artificial turf.
2. Have all Superbowls schedled for outdoor stadiums in snow zones.
3. Fuck parity: no salary caps and reduce the number of teams by 50%. Eliminate any team playing in warm winter climates.
4. Get rid of the pussy rules that make hard hitting old fashioned football illegal.
5. Not allow any TV coverage that talks about anthems, social justice, or anything other than football. And lose that horrible chick announcer with the air-raid siren voice, the one who makes my wife scream at the TV, “SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU STUPID TWAT!”

But like Charlie Brown every year, I know Lucy isn’t going to pull the ball away, so I’m going to watch Monday Night Football tonight. Enough ranting, let’s see what’s in the news.

Apropos to my post this past weekend about Dr. Strangelove, it’s time to buy stock in the company that makes CRM-114s. Abandon all hope, ye who foolishly thought that Trump would be less war-bonered than Obama or Clinton.

Do you feel the same contempt that I do about Chris Christie? Do you feel like you couldn’t lose any more respect for him as a human being, that your regard for him is at rock-bottom? Well, here’s a diamond-tipped drill to prove you wrong.

So let me get this straight- Progs make numerous death threats to the EPA boss, then complain when he increases security. Ohhhhh-kay.

A Jewish pedophile? This cannot be.

They named a dog Strudel, then were shocked that he got fat. Humans, hmpf.

And of course, obligatory Old Guy Music. The finest feminist anthem ever written. And seriously, listen to it all the way through. Trust the Old Man.

Lewis Hamilton won the USGP in Austin (sort of), Texas. He’s close to locking down a World Championship. Bummer that he’s such an unlikeable bastard. A bunch of other shit happened over the weekend in hockey and other stuff. The Longhorns lost in OT when their QB inexplicably tossed the ball to a defensive back rather than throwing it away and kicking a FG. Alabama throttled Tennessee in what should in a sane world be Butch Jones’s last game.  Penn State, as expected by every sane and sober adult in America, annihilated Michigan, exposing Jim Harbaugh as…mediocre? subpar? a bigmouth prick who should spend more time finding a QB and less time finding a Pontiff?  You decide. The battle for the Big Ten East starts this Saturday afternoon in Columbus as the Nittany Lions come visit the Buckeyes in a redemption game.  Miami won, Wisconsin won, Oklahoma (barely) won, Notre Dame pummeled USC and exposed Sam Darnold as pedestrian. A bunch of other games happened on the gridiron that I’m sure you will discuss in the comments section.  Some of it played yesterday, even.

And then we come to the American League Championship Series. I mean, I don’t even know what to say. I was shit-talking like crazy after games 1 and 2, chest all puffed out and sure the series was gonna be a romp like Boston was.  Then the tide turned and by Thursday morning, the Yankees fans on here were strutting around like the cock of the walk. The Astros bats went cold and the Yankees heated up at home in the Bronx.  I’ll admit, I was pretty sure the Astros had blown it.  But then came Friday and a comfortable win.  And then came Saturday, where all hands were expected to be on deck in the bullpen just to hang on against CC Sabathia, one of the most clutch pitchers out there and a man who had gone 10-0 following a Yankees loss this season.  Well, the Astros only needed a pair of pitchers, who were lights out. Hell, Morton and McCullers each only threw 54 pitches in five and four innings respectively. Their breaking stuff was filthy and the defense behind them made plays when needed (especially the laser beam Bregman threw to get Bird out at the plate. Anyway, lots of fun was had by all in Bayou City this weekend. And now we wait until tomorrow night for the World Series to start. Hopefully they’ll beat the Dodgers. And the way our pitching staff lines up, I’d expect to head home with at least one win from the two games in Chavez Ravine. Stay Tuned.

Whew! I got excited just writing that stream-of-consciousness intro to the day’s festivities.  Which can mean only one thing: time for…the links!

People on both sides of the pond are shitting their pants about the insane, right-wing nutball 31-year old elected to run Austria.  The dude is a train wreck! Oh wait. You mean he actually comes across as a sober*, reasonable man who plans to shrink the government footprint, lower taxes and distance his nation from the meddlesome twats in Brussels? Oh no! Whatever will they do to stop the madness?

*Preemptively addressing the “you know who else was a sober Austrian leader” comments.

The Mueller witch hunt takes a left turn. I’m ok with the foreign agent registration process, but I still think witch hunts like these are not a good thing.

The Kate Steinle murder trial is getting ready to start up. And the judge is warning both sides to stick to the facts. I assume his request of the jurors won’t keep Twitter from exploding. I’m grabbing my popcorn.

Hey look! Some good news involving the FBI. Actually, the rest of the article is horrifying if at least the encryption piece makes me smile.  These fuckers want access to anything and everything whenever they feel like it and expect to demand the Trump WH and GOP-led Congress give it to them.  Let’s hope Rand Paul explains to his new friend President Trump how that is a bad thing for liberty. God knows Obama and Bush didn’t listen

The 21st Century’s PT Barnum has found a few more suckers to extract cash from. Of course its between Baltimore and D.C.

Kim Jong Un’s half-brother’s death eight months ago in Malaysia still a mystery.  Yeah, no shit.

Bubble gum pop can be excellent.

Have a great day and a great start to another week…even Yankees fans.

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ IS PUZZLED. HE RECEIVED A TRANSMISSION FROM THE TABERNACLE…

Caution: You are approaching the periphery shield of Vortex Four. Caution: You are approaching the periphery shield of Vortex Four.

THE IMAGE ZARDOZ WAS SENT APPEARED TO BE SIMILAR TO FRIEND STEVE SMITH.

YET THIS APPEARS TO BE MUCH MORE … SOPHISTICATED THAN FRIEND STEVE SMITH. ZARDOZ WILL SEND A PRIORITY INQUIRY TO THE TABERNACLE TO FIND OUT THE SITUATION. IN THE INTERIM TIME INTERVAL, ZARDOZ WILL GIVE HIS CHOSEN ONES THE GIFT OF THE LINK. GO FORTH AND COMMENT. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN

• BRUTAL NATION OF JAPAN RE-ELECTS PRIME MINISTER WHO WANTS MORE ARMS. ZARDOZ WONDER IF THIS HAS THIS HAPPENED BEFORE?
• ZARDOZ DOES NOT BELIEVE W.H.O. HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH. A DISTINCT LACK OF CLEANSING IS NOTED.
• AGAIN, ZARDOZ IS DISAPPOINTED BY THE LACK OF KILLING IN THIS INSTANCE. HOWEVER, ZARDOZ BELIEVES THAT THIS CAN PROVIDE ADDITIONAL MATERIAL FOR HIS CHOSEN ONES’ FICTION EFFORTS.
• ZARDOZ ALWAYS FEELS THAT TOO MUCH IS SPENT ON HEALTHCARE OF BRUTALS.

After hiking through the Bong Recreational Area yesterday, for some reason I became rather peckish. Pity that because I ended up eating all the Halloween candy we had put aside for the neighborhood kids. I’m paying this morning for that indulgence, and now I’m not sure what I’m going to do to bribe the comelier children to venture into the house with the hopes of extra goodies. And for a chance to play with my special dollie, though generally this is not offered until they’re inside.

Well, no matter, here’s some links to keep everyone entertained and discussing the important issues of the day.

Back and to the left!  I wonder if Keith Hernandez is somehow involved…?

Candidate for Worst President Ever volunteers to go to North Korea. I’m in favor of this, especially with the possibility that he could find out what it’s like to be held hostage.

“For $32 million, you can come in my face.”

SP and I love Amazon Prime, and given our book-purchasing habits, have about a one month ROI for the yearly fee. Now Amazon tries a new service, Amazon Primo, proving once again that it knows what consumers want and is always ready to provide it.

And today’s Old Folks Music is something actually made after most of you were born.

STEVE SMITH APPRECIATE HIKER AND CAMPER RAPE. BUT STEVE SMITH WONDER IF RAPE OF THE UPPER CRUST MORE SATISFYING? SO STEVE SMITH HAVE IDEA…HE BECOME STEPHEN SMYTHE, SOPHISTICATED RAPESQUATCH, AND SEE IF CAVIAR AND JET SET MORE FUN TO RAPE.

STEPHEN SMYTHE WILL BE …WINE SNOB!

STEPHEN SMYTHE MAKE SURE HE HAVE BOTTLE OF SIGNATURE WINE HANDY!

STEPHEN SMYTHE TRY OPENING LINE…”I GET BLACKBERRY, VANILLA… NOTES OF AUTUMN.” AND POSE BY FANCY ARTWORK FROM OLDEN TIMES. MAYBE THROW IN LINE “I ATTENDED A DIGUSTATION ON THE NAPA WINE TRAIN….A SHAME ABOUT THE FIRES”

STEVE SMITH…ER, STEPHEN SMYTHE WILL LET FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE KNOW HOW IT WORK. IN MEANTIME, HERE ARE LINKS:

• STEPHEN SMYTHE WONDER WHAT RANSOM DEMANDS ARE?
• STEPHEN SMYTHE LAUGH WHEN THINK WHAT DRUG WARRIORS SAY WHEN READ THIS.
• STEPHEN SMYTHE WONDER WHO ELSE MAKE AXIS?
• STEPHEN SMYTHE SHOCKED, SHOCKED TO FIND CORRUPTION AND SELF DEALING IN ILLINOIS. BONUS, INVOLVES POLICE PENSION AND COP LEGISLATORS.

STEPHEN SMYTHE GO NOW, FIND RICH RAPE!

Astonished to find that my millennial daughter had never seen Dr. Strangelove, I queued it up last night over dinner. The generational difference was never so stark- she found most of it incomprehensible. “Why is this in black and white? Was that to save money? They had invented color by then, right?” When Strangelove pulled a circular sliderule out of his pocket to calculate how long the survivors would have to stay in the mineshaft, she asked, “What’s that?” In the airplane scenes involving rotary switches, toggles, and code-setting, she asked, “Is all that all supposed to be a technology?” During the credits, she observed, “I’ve heard of James Earl Jones, I don’t know any of these other people.” “This was just… weird.”

Sic transit gloria Sellers.

OK, before I haul my ancient ass all around the hiking trails at the Bong Recreation Area (not making that up), I will toss out links, scientifically designed to be noticed but not actually read.

An editorial writer does not seem to notice that states that don’t shit on the Second Amendment likewise seem to be states which are business friendly. And would like to stop that.

Canadians also don’t understand basic economics and after showing proper horror at how markets work when their government decides to meddle, figure to use their ignorance to keep poor people poor.

Speaking of Wisconsin (that’s where the Bong is), the latest on how racism was used to suppress minority voting and hand the election to Trump. Because black pipo can’t get ID cards and that’s why they didn’t turn out for Herself in the numbers they turned out for the Lightbringer. That must be the answer. Or maybe not.

We libertarians have McAfee. The liberals have… someone else.

In the same vein, is there nothing that Trump can’t do?

Zardoz would seem to have great influence in Africa.

And finally, obligatory Old People Music.

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. TONIGHT, ZARDOZ HAS A SPECIAL FEATURE FOR HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ WILL ALLOW A CHOSEN ONE TO QUESTION THE TABERNACLE ITSELF. PRESENT YOUR QUESTIONS, CHOSEN ONE – YES, YOU OVER THERE ON THE RIGHT. STEP FORWARD.

Glibertarian Commenter: Tabernacle – what are you?

The Tabernacle: Not permitted.

Glibertarian Commenter: Where are you?

The Tabernacle: Not permitted.

Glibertarian Commenter: Do you know me?

The Tabernacle: I have your voice-print, Glib – and your genetic code, but only memory fragments.

Glibertarian Commenter: [gazing into the diamond he holds in his other hand] Tell me about the crystal transmitter.

The Tabernacle: I cannot give information which may threaten my own security.

Glibertarian Commenter: Brain emissions refract low wavelength laser light, passing through the crystal in the brain. They’re a code sent to you for interpretation and storage. Yes or no?

The Tabernacle: Not permitted.

…

WELL, THAT DID NOT GO AS ZARDOZ HOPED. THEREFORE, ZARODZ WILL GIVE YOU THE GIFT OF THE LINK, SO THAT YOU MAY BE RAISED FROM BRUTALITY. GO FORTH AND COMMENT! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

• ZARDOZ SEES THIS AS CONTINUING EVIDENCE THAT THE BRUTALS, WHO ARE LEGION, NEED TO BE CLEANSED FROM THE CERTAIN PARTS OF THE EARTH.
• FOOLISH BRUTAL! JUST SURRENDER NOW. ZARDOZ WILL DISPATCH BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS TO YOUR LOCATION.  YES, ZARDOZ IS NOT BENEATH CHEAP STEREOTYPE JOKES.
• NO! THIS IS NOT WHAT ZARDOZ MEANT BY BEING A BRUTAL EXTERMINATOR. ZARDOZ ORGANIZES SUCH ACTIVITY, NO FREE-LANCING!
• ZARDOZ NOT SURPRISED BY THIS…CLEANSING.
• THIS BRUTAL FORGOT THAT THE PENIS IS EVIL, AND HE SHOULD NOT SAY SUCH THINGS!

Happy Frickin’ Friday. It came about three days too late again. Also, my wife got me drunk last night. So I’m basically writing the Dodge truck equivalent of code right now. Its probably going to come apart in the first two years, but if it doesn’t, it will never fail.

In sportzball news I care about, the fate of the Houston Astros is in the hands that get to hold Kate Upton’s beautiful breasts. Don’t let us down, new guy!

I don’t usually give links to Youtube for non-music, but this video of a police chase in Houston combined with the newscaster banter is hilarious. Apparently you can watch the one hour version also. But I kicked Dodge around a little in the intro, so here’s theirs back.

Sorry babe, I can’t quit smoking, so I guess I’ll just have to quit going down on you instead.

I mean, its not as bad as teaching monkeys kung fu, but maybe we shouldn’t teach the robots, either.

Our Libertopia awaits in the Moon.

It seems like a great day for the Theme Song.

The Senate passed a budget resolution that allows for tax cuts, opening the door for a filibusterer proof  tax reform bill in the future.  Rand Paul was the only dissenting Republican vote.

A preschool teacher shows off her student’s very cute Lego projects depicting intersectionality, wait, no she’s a college professor, a college professor had her college students build Lego displays and not even with regular Legos, the giant block Legos used by toddlers.  I heard she has plans next week to have them finger paint cultural appropriation.

I have to say, I am quite enjoying this leftist witch hunt.  The leftist elite is being forced to live by its own supposed morals, and it’s not going so well.

IRS to finally start blocking tax returns that lack Obamacare disclosures.

John Kelly slaps down Congresswomen Frederica S. Wilson and defends the President.  Leading to liberal journalists to very stupidly attack Kelly.  It’s like they’re trying to pick fights they can’t only not win, but will get destroyed on.

And here’s your morning song.