Category: Daily Links

Its Monday again. I have been indifferently productive, which is like a major victory for me. I guess there was some sort of kerfluffle this weekend? Turns out the only 2 channels I don’t get are CBS and Fox. Sounds like I should be grateful. Especially since I called the Texans loss at the beginning of the 4th quarter. I hate Bill O’Brian and think he might be the least talented coach in the NFL. Please to fire his ass. But at least he didn’t bench a QB this game. Ass.

Internet culture is… getting stupider.

Carlos Danger gets 21 months in prison. “I was a very sick man for a very long time”, he said, pleading guilty. Listen, jerkoff, self-indulgence isn’t a disease. I hope you get that in prison, and may all of your sexual encounters be voluntary.

Just another day in LA, right? At least the baby was unharmed and too young to be really traumatized by what she saw.

Like two fourteen year olds, “I’m gonna kick your ass, take your shot!” “I don’t hit no man first!”

Not sure if this makes vegetative states more or less horrifying. But hey, if I end up like that, put me in a boat, strap my hands to the wheel, wipe all your prints, and make sure the plug blows a

s soon as I’m out of sight of land.

Speaking of not eating…

Riven: And on an entirely different note, exactly a year ago I married the perfect man. We’ll be leaving for our honeymoon in Las Vegas on Wednesday, and I can’t wait to watch him compete at USPSA later this week. Happy anniversary, Mr. Riven. <3

What a crazy weekend for football.  Alabama steamrolled an overhyped Vanderbilt. Clemson struggled until late and then rolled. Same for TTUN. USC took care of Cal in a really fun game to watch. Oklahoma topped Baylor in a game that was not fun to watch. Washington looks like the real deal. So does Va Tech. I’m not sold on UGA just yet even though they wore out Mississippi State. Florida stuck a dagger in the heart of UK fans (for the thirtysomething-th year in a row. The Buckeyes drilled UNLV. Florida State dropped to 0-2. TCU beat Okie State in a great game. And finally, Penn State won on a last second TD at Iowa (dammit!).

And yes, there was also football played on Sunday. East Carolina beat UConn in a conference game I don’t know why they hadn’t played a day earlier.

The Twins sure did pick the right time to reel off four straight wins, eh? They’ve got a vise grip on the final wind card spot, up 4.5 games with 7 left to play. The Red Sox took down the BIG RED MACHINE. The Nats won. The Orioles did as well. The Cards faltered at the wrong time. As did the Brewers. The Rockies won and got a little bit of breathing room over those last two losers. The Astros lost, but they’re more concerned with getting guys healthy for games next week. And the D-backs clinched their playoff spot. The Indians won, of course. And so did the Dodgers.  And if I missed anybody else, sorry.

The EPL games went according to plan this weekend, although there were some tighter games than there should have been (yes, I’m looking at you again Liverpool!). The two teams from that shithole Manchester seem to be the cream of the crop. But there’s a lot of games left to play so I’m not gonna get ahead of myself.

That’s it for sports. Now its time to get down on a knee and pray for…the links!

Some crazy dude goes on a rampage shooting up a church.  An usher takes him down and saves a bunch of lives. No motive given, but its WaPo so you can be sure they’re gonna mention that scumbag Dylan Roof.

Merkel wins in German elections but her party has worst result since WWII. A “far-right” party took 13% of the vote and will now be the third-largest party in the German lower House of Representin.

Milo Yiannopoulos goes to Berkeley for 15 minutes. School claims it had to spend $800,000 because of the visit. Listen, if you’re spending $800 large a month for security on that campus, you need to renegotiate the police budget.

Cook County, IL shit the bed on the soda tax and people are looking for reasons. Maybe “don’t tax your poorest people to death and expect them to take it” would be a good policy, eh Chicago Democrat Political Machine?

Trump administration announces a new limited travel restriction list. Its more racism against Muslims as such fundamentalist countries like North Korea and Venezuela are added.

Here’s some news that Glibs can use.

YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! I already want to start kicking ass and its just Monday morning!

Go give it your best today!

STEVE SMITH ALL RESTED AND READY NOW. AND BY RESTED AND READY, MEAN READY TO RAPE. SO GIVE FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE SOME LINKS, AND GO LOOK FOR HIKERS, CAMPERS AND ANYONE ELSE AROUND. HERE LINKS:

1. STEVE SMITH SEE GERMANS HAVE VOTE. YOU KNOW WHO ELSE HAD VOTE IN GERMANY? RESULTS HERE.
2. THIS MAKE STEVE SMITH SAD.
3. STEVE SMITH WONDER WHAT “HURT” MEAN? IF STEVE SMITH HURT, IT FROM RAPE!
4. WHY YOU MAKE CUSTOMERS BOO? STEVE SMITH STAND FOR ANTHEM…IF YOU KNOW WHAT STEVE SMITH MEAN!
5. STEVE SMITH IN FAVOR OF WOMEN EVERYWHERE.

This NFL-In-London bullshit reeks of delusion, gimmickry, ad a total lack of regard for the fan base. This means I have to start drinking at 0730, which is early even for me. I suppose Irish coffee may be in order.

The burning question: will any players kneel and raise their fists for “God Save The Queen”?

It turns out that the people who worried about (((immigration))) back in the 1920s may have been right.

When you’re looking at a beauty contest participant in a bathing suit, isn’t the first thing on your mind, “I wonder if she’s on the rag?” Well, wonder no more.

LOOK AT ME!!! LOOK AT MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Now here’s an interesting take on the Trump/Kim celebrity Tweetmatch.

And for today’s old hippie music, a communist folksinger grudgingly admits that there’s virtue in Evil Kkkorporations.

As Droopy used to say, “Hello all you happy people!” SPO and I are happy. Not alert, though, after two concerts in a row, the second being at a venue which serves many, many, many mixed drinks. Being ecologically aware, we would not allow them to go to waste. And we didn’t.

So, that excuse explanation given for my lame-ass performance this morning, let’s see what’s in the news:

Apparently James Comey is also a white supremacist. The modern college campus is a marvelous thing to behold.

I am getting nightmares about the 2020 presidential election already. I’m old enough to remember 1988, where the important issue that dominated the debate was… flag burning. Which prevented discussion of anything actually important. For 2020, the debate is shaping up to be about football players’ posture. 

Allowing (not requiring) colleges to have due process as part of disciplinary hearings will apparently make life easier for STEVE SMITH. Clearly Betsy DeVos is in favor of rape. Time for outrage! The unexplained part is why accusations of criminal activity should be adjudicated by colleges rather than, oh, I dunno, courts?

I’m not quite sure what to make of this. Other than, if scientists can figure out the cloning thing from prehistoric DNA, I have a little list…

One evening in 1978, I was driving home when I heard something on the radio that caused me to pull over and listen. Music of a sort that I had never heard before (is it bluegrass? is it jazz?), played with what sounded like impossible skill. I sat there for 20 minutes waiting for the announcer to recap the song and band titles, and finally found out that it was a song called “EMD” by a group called The David Grisman Quintet. I rushed out to buy their eponymous album, then proceeded to wear it out. The stars were David Grisman, he of mandolin madness, and Tony Rice, who started with Clarence White’s skills (and guitar!), then took it to another level.

Anyway, here they are, many years later, playing as a duo. This killed two hours of my morning. I could not stop listening.

STEVE SMITH GLAD WEEK IS ENDING. LARGE TOUR GROUP HIKING NEARBY LEFT STEVE SMITH A BIT WEARY. ONE HIKER ALMOST GOT AWAY UNRAPED! MAYBE STEVE SMITH TAKE IT EASY TONIGHT AND WATCH A FEW EPISODES OF “FINDING BIGFOOT“. IT ALWAYS GOOD FOR A LAUGH. MAYBE “FINDING RAPESQUATCH” COULD BE REPLACEMENT SHOW. WHEN YOU FIND STEVE SMITH, YOU SPECIAL SURPRISE. BY SPECIAL SURPRISE, MEAN RAPE.

FRIEND ZARDOZ BUSY WORKING ON NEW COLUMN, SO HERE ARE LINKS FOR GLIBS.

1. OLD BRAIN TUMOR MAN STOP BILL. STEVE SMITH GUESS YOU HAVE TO WAIT FOR HIM TO GO.
2. STEVE SMITH LAUGH AT THIS MAN. HIM SAY “MAKE NEW ORLEANS FUN AGAIN”.
3. POLICE UNION NOT WANT STOP SHOOT AND BEAT PEOPLE. CRY FOR HELP.
4. STEVE SMITH NOT BELIEVE DENIALS!

STEVE SMITH GO RELAX NOW… MAYBE NIGHTCAP BEFORE BED. BY NIGHTCAP, MEAN RAPE. AT NIGHT.

The several thousand people who showed up to watch the Rams-49ers, and the hundreds that watched from home got a treat last night as the boys from Los Angeles won 41-39.  In an odd twist, both teams were also eliminated from the playoffs without another squad taking the field. In college, USF beat Temple like a rented mule.

In baseball news, The Cubs came from behind to beat the Brewers for the second night in a row and all but lock down the NL Central. Fortunately for Milwaukee, the Rockies are doing everything they can to help them in the wild card race as they dropped another one to the Padres. The Cardinals topped the BIG RED MACHINE to gain ground. The Dodgers won. As did the Nats The Nats didn’t.  On the junior circuit, The Indians topped the Angels and the Twinks got a much-needed win to stretch the lead to 2.5 games…although that lead is now over the Angels and the Rangers, who doubled up the Mariners.  Hey, the Orioles won a game! KC topped Team Canada. And lastly, the White Sox beat my Astros, who have long since clinched their playoff spot and home field in the Divisional Series.

So that’s sports. And here’s other things in…the links!

Uber is stripped of its license to operate in London over safety fears. Over 40,000 drivers for the service are now losing their income and the millions of passengers a week they carry will have to resort to something else to get them around (like a drunk Wayne Rooney, perhaps). Also, no word whether every Muslim in town with a license will have their cars taken away.

President Trump’s racist travel ban temporary travel restrictions from a few countries other Presidents have restricted travel from is set to expire Sunday. And people are scrambling to figure out what’s going to happen.

Well, um, what the hell did you expect to happen? Is it A: a money grab from the state to help shore up a little of its pension crisis? or B: a simple way to beef up the surveillance state? Or there’s always C: a big bunch of free money to a company connected to a few high-ups in the IDOT?  (Feel free to answer D: all of the above. Its probably right.)

I’m Mister Snow Miser, I’m Mister Snow. Say goodbye to Summer. Because I’m starting to blow.  (With apologies to John Kerry.)

Did you know they had Comicon’s in Africa?  Dis wat dem dey look like in Lagos.

Holy shit, did Maria ever do a number on Puerto Rico. Looks worse than after Hugo.

Its the last day of this theme. And the name of this song seems appropriate.

Hope its been a decent week. And I hope its a better weekend.

Happy Thursday. I just had corned beef hash for lunch made out of the leftovers of last night’s dinner. That’s one of those meals that just feels like the best parts of my childhood. Boiled meat and root vegetables, refried in the pan the next day. Meals of the traditionally rich!

This one gave me an awkward semi. The idea of seeing John Kerry mercilessly pummeled on twitter and in campaign speeches by Donald Trump would be a fine way to spend 2020. I mean, when I’m not mourning the fact that people don’t get beat into a coma for bringing up John Kerry as a serious presidential candidate. Hey guys, I’ve got a great idea! We ran the worst Secretary of State since WWII and she lost. Let’s run the second worst and see how he does. If you’re seriously considering previous losers for your party’s presidential candidate you’re either voting for Ron Paul or you belong to a Loser Party. /rant

This is some dictatorial shit right here. Not that I think Chelsea Clinton would be safe if Hillary thought offing her would deliver the presidency in 2020.

Scientist discover animal without a brain that sleeps. Apparently running their first study on DMV clerks.

Local to me people who need to be tied up in a sack and beaten. Oh, you disagree with your neighbor cutting trees on his own property? Go jump right up your own ass you lousy snitch.

This is going to be the biggest nothing ever. Or an absolute stake in the heart. But probably nothing.

Something different.

The Red Sox have punched their ticket to the postseason with a shutout win over the Orioles.  The Yankees are well on their way to punching theirs as they topped the Twinks. And those guys need to get their heads out of their sphincters and start winning some games. They can’t keep relying on the Indians to beat the California Angels to keep their wild card lead intact. In fact, both teams holding the final wild card spot in their leagues are trying to back into the playoffs, as the Rockies also dropped one but the Brewers were unable to gain ground.  Elsewhere, the Dodgers fell to the Phillies. Team Canada fell to K.C.  The Cards, who are still hanging in the wild card race, took down the BIG RED MACHINE. The Rays dumped the Cubbies. The Nationals beat the Braves. The D-backs won. And the Firstros again topped the White Sox.

More preseason hockey, which I caught for a few minutes in the wrap-around coverage last night. It sure was sloppy. And there sure were a lot of whistles for phantom slashing calls. If this doesn’t change, the games will be unwatchable this season. So, based on their track record, I’m sure the NHL will tell the officials to get even more whistle-happy. And then they’ll do another new TV contract with an even shittier network.

BONUS SPORTS LINK! (thanks, Warty!)It’s from the University of Tennessee, so you know its gonna be retarded. Enjoy.

OK, that’s it for athletic endeavours. Time to drop a little knowledge in…the links!

Never change, Media Matters. Just keep that retarded spin machine going forever. (Trigger Warning: obviously its Media Matters.)

I think Glibs should pool our resources and buy Rolling Stone.  Of course, it means we’d have to stop penning steaming piles of sanctimonious horseshit like this. But that’s a risk I’m willing to take.

Puerto Rico is in absolute darkness as Hurricane Maria knocks out power to the entire island. Jesus. That seems just inconceivable to me. And fortunately, a lot of people and businesses there have generators.  But still…Jesus.

A piece on the “opioid crisis” that completely misses the point. How about legalizing the damn things and letting people medicate to ease pain and at the same time, let recreational users get cleaner drugs?  Nah. That would, like, let people be responsible for their own actions. And we can’t have that.

I’m no huge fan of the GOP’s health care bill.  But I did find a silver lining.

I’ve heard of throwing money down the toilet. But dis em gettin’ big time ridiculous!

Crude oil tops $50 a barrel for first time in more than two months. So expect gas to stay above $2.25 a gallon for the foreseeable future.

Go ahead and dance. And enjoy some movie clips from one of the greatest films of all time.  How it didn’t sweep the Oscars will be one of the greatest travesties of the modern age.

Have a wonderful day, friends. The weekend is almost upon us.