ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ THANKS HIS FRIEND, STEVE SMITH, FOR FILLING IN WHILE ZARDOZ CONTEMPLATED RECENT EVENTS. WHILE ZARDOZ IS RELIEVED THAT NONE OF HIS CHOSEN ONES WERE HARMED BY THE CATEGORY 4 KILLSTORM THAT LIFTED TEXAS OFF OF THE EARTH AND FLUNG IT INTO OUTER SPACE (ZARDOZ ONLY SKIMMED HEADLINES) – ZARDOZ IS A BIT DISAPPOINTED SO FEW BRUTALS WERE CLEANSED BY THIS STORM. IN AN EFFORT TO GET BACK TO BASICS, ZARDOZ GIVES YOU LINKS OF BRUTAL CLEANSING.
ZARDOZ WONDERS HOW ENFORCERSWITH BLUE HELMETS CAN DO SO LITTLE KILLING? HAVE THEY NOT BEEN GIVEN THE GIFT OF THE GUN?
ZARDOZ APPROVES OF THIS TOWN. IT HAS SEEN MUCH CLEANSING OVER THE YEARS. NO, IT IS NOT CHICAGO!
I’ll try to keep it more or less light, since as predicted, Texas was utterly destroyed and we should have respect for the millions of people killed because of our withdrawal from the Paris Climate Accords.
STEVE SMITH STILL NOT RAPING FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN COMMENTERS, TO SHOW GOOD WILL TOWARD TEXAS ONES. PEOPLE IN WOODS OF PACIFIC NORTHWEST, NOT SO LUCKY. STEVE SMITH HAVE TO DO WHAT STEVE SMITH DOES. IT HIS NATURE. AND BY NATURE, MEAN RAPE PEOPLE OUT IN NATURE. HERE ARE LINKS;
STEVE SMITH ASK – “YOU KNOW WHO ELSE HAD NUMBERS PUT ON PEOPLE’S ARMS?”
Much news today, so I’ll keep my own non-news-related commentary to a minimum.
Texans are all singing that old song as Hurricane Harvey bears down on them. The news media is doin’ the regular- DISASTER!!!! but the storm itself doesn’t seem to be cooperating with the narrative. Of course, as usual, Women and Minorities Hardest Hit. And the Universal Cause will certainly be invoked to explain why there hasn’t been a major hurricane landfall in the US for over 12 years, why we now got one, and why it’s less devastating than originally predicted. That’s the power of the AGW theory, no matter what happens, it’s proved correct once again. Science FTW!
The current piece of shit we have occupying the White House has pardoned someone who is even a bigger piece of shit, though admittedly the Arizona piece of shit has a more limited range of stink. Too bad, I really wanted to see how the sheriff would take to work camps, tents, pink underwear, moldy food, and anal rape.
Speaking of storms and pieces of shit, here’s another example of government functionaries who, if the worst happened, I would not shed a single tear over.
Finally, with all the (yawwwwwn) news about yet more departures from the White House, I thought that this week’s musical selection should be from someone I think is a better Gorka.
STEVE SMITH HEAR SOME OF FUNNY GLIBERTARIANS HAVE TROUBLE WITH GIANT STORM. SO STEVE SMITH GIVE YOU LINKS, AND PROMISE TO RAPE YOU LAST. OR MAYBE FIRST. STEVE SMITH NOT SURE JUST YET. SO HAVE LINKS WHILE HE FIGURE IT OUT. IT NOT EASY OUT THERE FOR A RAPESQUATCH.
STEVE SMITH MUST DECRY EFFORTS OF AMATEURS. WHY IT TAKE ARMY TO RESTORE ORDER. STEVE SMITH COULD DO IT FOR FREE.
WHEN STEVE SMITH READ SOMETHING POLITICIANS DO IS “HISTORIC“, EVEN HE MAKE SURE TO SAFEGUARD SELF AGAINST RAPE!
WHILE A BIT BUTT-KISSY OF COPS, STEVE SMITH THINK THIS A GOOD SCREED.
With hurricane Harvey descending upon the Gulf Coast, Sloopy took off a day earlier than planned to take his daughter to college, leaving me to be the substitute teacher morning links provider.
Hurricane Harvey set to wreak devastation on the Gulf Coast with Biblical flooding in Houston. Sloopy and I will be stuck in a house with toddlers possibly through the middle of next week. Pray for us.
The ACLU apologized yesterday for implying that white people will exist in the future. Congrats, you just gave more members to the growing group of white supremacists in our country claiming there’s a white genocide taking place.
Since I was responsible for the Eclipse Day Afternoon Links lateness, I am going to do the Afternoon Links today to make up for it. I will try to give a little something for everyone:
I am not sure how to snark this story. Something, something Nigerian email scam? Um…fit for a tabloid indeed?
Feel free to make hot/fire jokes and “I’d like to have her be my first responder!” snarks.
I thought this only happened in cartoons and bad sitcoms?
Monument and renaming fever hits Chicago. Mayor gets crabby and Italians get steamed?
And to really show how sorry I am…FEEL FREE TO POST AS MANY OF YOUR OWN LINKS AS YOU WANT. I SHAN’T SAY A WORD!
How would you like to be Dodgers pitcher Rich Hill today? Ouch, that was a brutal end to a (nearly) perfect game. Elsewhere, the Orioles won. The Red Sox beat up on the Indians. The dreaded Yankees beat the hapless Tigers. The Cubbies thumped the BIG RED MACHINE again. The D-backs fell to the Mets. Team Canada took out the Rays. The Mariners won. The Twins fell to the White Sox. The Cards won and the Rockies lost. And in the big game, the Astros took down the Nationals to even up that series. The rubber match is tonight.
No real surprises across the pond in the UEFA Campions League play in round. Coutinho is still a Liverpool man. The draw for the aforementioned UCL is coming up in less than 5 hours, by the way. And in other news, that McGregor-Mayweather fiasco is almost upon us. Thank God we will be able to put it behind us soon. Of course, then we will be able to hype up the rematch which will be coming around next Easter.
And we are officially one week away from Ohio State’s season of redemption. 7 days and 12 hours, to be exact. And our weekly installment of the college football column is also a week away. Plan on being wowed every Thursday afternoon/evening. I won’t give anything else away. I’ve probably said too much already.
Well now that we’ve touched all the bases (just like Josh Harrison last night!) on sports, we can get down to business. I present you with…the links!
Illinois Democrat gubernatorial candidate socially signals. I wonder if they’ll go very deep into the brutal history of so many tribes that went so far as to eat their enemies? Or will they all be portrayed as these lovable little savages that never hirt nobody as the white devils injected them with smallpox-AIDS and a million other fallacies? One thing’s for sure: the truth will not be setting anyone free.
“Conflicting stories”, according to the paper, in incident where three protesters were injured by a man driving through them. The story also said the driver “pushed into protesters.” Yeah, make sure if you’re gonna report bullshit that there’s no video of it. Because if I had been driving that car, I’d have reacted the same way if a mob surrounded me and started striking my vehicle. Bonus points for the cops not doing a fucking thing to keep these rioters-in-waiting out of there goddamn streets where people are trying to drive their cars from Point A to Point B.
Yeah, we’ve got a terrible storm bearing down on us here in the Bayou City. But we’ve got more pressing concerns. Like the he-said, she-said in this legal battle. The question is simple: was the barber stopping the child’s haircut to periodically jack off, or did the kid’s mom falsely accuse him to avoid paying for the haircut? Strange times we live in, friends. Strange times.
Here we are. Together again for another day. Let’s see how our teams did yesterday first, ok? (With apologies once again for the less sporting of you.) The Celtics made a mega-trade with the Cavs for Kyrie Irving. I don’t quite know what to think about this one. If Isiah stays healthy, it won’t be a great move. But that’s not exactly a given.
Everybody knows the Dodgers are gonna win. It seems like a foregone conclusion. Until September anyway. The Red Sox prevailed over the Indians. The Orioles fell. The Yankees rolled the Tigers. The Cubbies topped the BIG RED MACHINE. Team Canada shit the bed again. The Mariners (yes, I’m still giving you guys love in the updates) got blanked by the Braves. The Rockies fell. The Twins beat the White Sox. The Cards got throttled. And the Astros fell to the Nationals in what I would like to see as a World Series preview.
You’ll Never Walk Alone
Looks like the teams everyone expected to win prevailed in the UEFA Champions League play in round. Hopefully the second half of those games today will go as scripted too. YNWA and all that shit.
Like any of you guys care a whit about soccer. ::sigh:: Fine. Here you go with…the links!
