Category: Daily Links

Sorry Florida State baseball. They had a good run but LSU knocked them out last night. Although at this point, I’d be shocked if anybody could touch Oregon State. It’d take a slew of previously-unknown pederasty by their pitching staff to keep them from winning it all. Because obviously one didn’t hardly slow them down.

Also, NBA draft is tonight…Yawn. But the NHL’s expansion draft by the new Las Vegas team was anything but.  They got the goalie everyone was expecting them to go after. I’m gonna have to take a closer look to rate the other picks, but mullet-head Barry Melrose seemed impressed. Although the star of the evening had to be Marcel Dionne.

That’s it. Well, except for the Astros winning. And the Rockies giving up a 10-spot in the fourth inning.

Okey-dokey then. How’s about…the links!

Well it looks like Tropical storm Dick and Balls Cindy is skipping H-town and heading to Louisiana. And you know what that means…a bunch of smug-ass progressives laughing at “God punishing the rednecks” and other such tolerant things from the oh-so-tolerant. There’s no link to this one. I just wanted to post the photo I got on my phone from a buddy.

But, what if nobody wants them? Well, really just that little corner up by a lake. The rest of the place is probably worth salvaging. And I’d personally send a lifeboat for the Glibs stuck in the bad part.

Can Alex Jones sue Slate for peddling a conspiracy theory that might even be too outrageous for even him? Seriously, they must be taking acid every hour on the hour over there to come up with this shit. (No TW necessary since I already said it was Slate.)

Florida Mom strikes again! (Click the video. The music is awesome!)

Trump’s budget is gonna cause the trains to, apparently, not run on time. Or not run at all. And some people are butthurt. Because there’s no better stewardship with the government’s money than to prop up a failing enterprise of 19th century technology.

Since Oakland has no other pressing matters, they’re able to dedicate time to denying private property rights.

And the asshole of the day goes to Hartford, Connecticut sociology professor Johnny Eric Williams. And frankly, it wasn’t even close. But I’m gonna stay tuned because I’m sure somebody from the tolerant left will top him by the end of the day.

Man, I sure like the way these numbers work out. Plus since that one is so short, here’s a little bonus. And I think “warm” is an understatement this week.

Th, th, th, that’s all folks! Make it a great day!

Greetings and happy Wednesday. Many thanks to SP for picking up my slack yesterday. Apparently, my computer would rather be reformatted than have to read another Hat/Hair. I’m back now, we’ll see whether the hardware keeps some ghost memory of the horror or not.

New York leads charge to end child marriage*. OMWC hardest hit!

*Horrible reporting — “27 states ‘technically’ have no law against child marriage.” However, all states have a marriage licensure process which probably requires adults or their guardians to sign forms to receive a marriage certificate. Until we get the state out of marriage, this isn’t a real problem in America except where first cousins want to marry without state permission.

In “surprise” move, Saudi king appoints son over nephew as heir to the throne. I guess surprising to anyone who hasn’t read history? I was surprised the king waited so long.

The GA-06 spin has burned through. People are starting to admit that it sure does seem like the Democratic party candidates are continuing to get their asses kicked. Ideally, the 2016-2017 election cycle would put an end to the canard that elections can be bought. Candidates matter.

Here’s hoping that all our readers on the I-10 Gulf Coast have big enough boats or live on high enough hills.

“This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it.”

Wow. Illinois hits bankruptcy. May not be able to regularly pay employees and vendors. Given current jurisprudence on government pensions being unable to be reduced or removed, I see no way for the state to pass a budget.

If it keeps on rainin….

Good morning!  Yesterday sure was an interesting day.  TCU bounced aTm from the CWS. The Astros won. Everybody seems to be getting jazzed up for one of the weakest NBA drafts ever. But the biggest sports story happened off the field. (Rolls eyes) I guess they didn’t have room to report on how his recruiting, and performance in The Game, is sadly lagging his contemporary to the south. But whatever. The thing that pisses me off so bad is that they’re deleting comments making fun of the publicity-hound. Oh well, the only thing that matters are championships and wins in The Game. And based on his performance in those two categories, he’s a failure.  So carry on, Jimmy. You keep getting press and St Urban will keep getting gold pants.

::wipes spittle from computer monitor::

OK, that’s enough ranting. Let’s delve into…the links!

Jon Ossoff will be happy that he’s represented by a Democrat in the US Congress. Of course, that’s because he lives in GA-05, not in GA-06. GA-06 will be represented by Karen Handel, who absolutely smoked him last night and made everybody from Nate Silver to all the other pollsters that had her chances of winning well below 50%. Hell, the race was three points outside the margin of error on almost all the polls. (TW: HuffPo piece. I would bring a 55 gallon barrel for the tears. But also be prepared for every conspiracy you can think of that doesn’t include aliens.)

Alternate headline for this story: In a Selfish Act, Asshole Kills Himself, Endangers Others on Public Street. I wonder if taxpayers will be on the hook for a survivorship pension for the next 30-40 years.  I also wonder if they’re gonna find that he was “involved?” with one of those students he worked with. Because happy, well-grounded people don’t off themselves while literally driving down the street.

Just in case you were worried you wouldn’t find the most retarded ass story imaginable today to read, fear not! I found it for you. (TW: Salon going full fucking Salon.)

Stephen Hawking is feeling pretty generous…with other peoples’ money. Hey, Stevie. Why don’t you run a bake sale instead of trying to put your robot hand into my pocket to fund your little ideas. Besides, we’ve already been to the damn moon. The greatest human being ever, and sharer of my birthday, was the first man to set foot on it.

Some dude, whose name reminds me of having water sprayed up my asshole, finally quit his job. I guess the pressure finally got to him. Or he ran out of sexist jokes.  Either way, its probably time they found a professional COP to run the show.

And lastly, in strange shit, Texas people can be just as weird as their contemporaries from Florida. However, I will go ahead and say that’s a nice rack.

Innuendo.

That’s it, friends. Go out and have a great day. I may be underwater by tomorrow morning if this damn storm Cindy makes landfall in the wrong place. Let’s cross our fingers it doesn’t.

Since our “normal” afternoon links staffer has blown up his computer… or office… or done something equivalent of which the details are vague, I present to the Glibertariat the “I’m not really one of you, but I play at it online” afternoon links!

• Google wants you to spend some time exploring the stories of refugees on a per-click-ad-revenue-driven media outpost it just happens to own.
• In shocking news, apparently actual Nazis decamped to Argentina, taking along head-measuring devices. (No, not that kind of head. Get your filthy minds out of the gutter.)
• I’m not a beer drinker, but apparently beer is a luxury item in Finland, so drinkers are compelled to go elsewhere to have their Groupon honored.
• Another reason to avoid owning a Tesla.
• I can guarantee my Dad would NOT have purchased one of these for me.

Have a great afternoon, and if you can’t do that, make sure the people making you miserable are equally miserable.

Well, good morning! I hope y’all had a pleasant Juneteenth yesterday. Mine was alright.  Got some work done, built some furniture for my son and celebrated the littlest one’s (Justice Forall Sloopy Juneteenth Spicer) birthday. I bring it up because every time I have an anniversary, or every time one of my younger kids has a birthday, it makes me thankful for the group of people assembled here and at reason because they were such an integral part of my wife and I meeting and starting our family. So thanks to all of you, in an indirect way.

Looks like the NBA teams are trying to shake a few things up in order to compete with the Warriors next year (which probably won’t work). The Celtics are looking to get better value for their draft picks (which probably will work). The Lakers are trying to not completely suck ass for another year (but they probably will). But in the end…its still pro basketball and it still sucks compared to hockey, football, baseball, soccer, rugby, cricket, curling, badminton, UFC, college basketball and the spelling bee.  Sorry, that’s just how I feel.

Hey, Tiger Woods is “getting professional help.”  Which is usually code for “I’m preemptively trying to get on the judge’s good side before my trial.” Unless it means he’s getting the professional help he really needs. Which would involve Butch Harmon moving in with him and dedicating all of his time to reconstructing a swing that works. But that ain’t happening and the slide into mediocrity will continue and Jack Nicklaus’s record will stand. Which is only fitting, seeing as Nicklaus is the greatest golfer of all time.

Astros won! And in college, Florida State is hanging in there after knocking CSF out of the CWS. And meanwhile, Oregon State is managing to avoid the distractions that pederasty usually brings with it and won again.

That’s it for sports. Notice I’m struggling mightily with it now that playoff season’s over? I warned you.  But only 69 days till college football! We can do this together, friends. And either way, its not about sports here.  It’s about…the links!

Who will win father of the year? Nanny-staters probably think it should be this guy. As for me, I think he should (metaphorically) be chucked head-first into a woodchipper. Christ, what an asshole.

Damn, Carrie Fisher went out like a champ. I guess she was trying to get into character for the Leia Organa scenes she hadn’t filmed yet (didn’t work). Or she was trying to get back into that costume (was never gonna work). Or she was trying to get into heaven a little smoother (apparently did work).

That Georgia special election will come to a close today. I hope it means I will stop getting tweets, fundraising emails and incessant reports about it, whoever wins. Make your predictions in the comments as to the outcome. I personally think Team Red will squeak it out but Team Blue will declare it a (yet another) moral victory in the string of moral victories since November.

That student that North Korea returned to the United States has died. He was in a coma when returned last week.

It gets more expensive to live in San Francisco. New labor deal is reason for increase, says company granted monopoly for trash removal by city.

What to do when you run your school system so poorly that kids can’t learn how to fucking read by the time they drop out of high school in the 9th grade?  Why, you double down on the retardation! This might be the worst idea since the Twilight series.  Hell, it may even be worse since Stephanie Miller didn’t know any better but this assclown does.

That’s it. Thanks for making it through. Y’all deserve a balloon.

Have a great day, friends!

LATE ADDENDUM!!!! : we want your ideas in what you’d like to be able to buy, if anything, for swag. We already have a tshirt, bumper stickers and coffee mugs with the official Glibs logo in the works. But we want to know what else you guys might be interested in. I’m prepared to ask Heroic Mullato to design a “Thicc Thursday” shirt we can all proudly wear. And somebody proposed a Warty’s Dungeon and a STEVE SMITH thingy. But we want to know what you guys want so we can provide you with the fodder to attract new readers or get you fired from your jobs. Or both. So let us know!

Today isn’t exactly a fundraiser but I’d just like to remind everyone to hit the paypal:

Send me your money or I’ll be forced to stand outside your place of employment and sing this.

Also, anyone who sends more than $20 gets a free weekend with STEVE SMITH. Wait…

F*ck you, I’m Millwall now a beer. Also, killing random people with cars is no good. Worse than colonialism. Also, the French cops are racking up a pretty good score of dead bad guys.

It looks like poor computer security is back on the menu for news outlets. What’s different?

Dunphy and another brave Seattle cop shoot and kill pregnant woman in her own home*. (If the cops kill a pregnant mother, it’s just a fetus and not a baby, right?)

The Australian Eastern Abyss. Where evolution favors toxic masculinity.

Man, that US open was off the hook. Probably the most entertaining golf tournament I’ve seen in a while. (Note to USGA: people really, really, really enjoy compelling golf, and it doesn’t have to include tricking out a golf course so its nearly unplayable!) Brooks Koepka ended up getting the hot hand down the stretch and won by 3. Sorry Rickie Fowler fans. Looks like he’ll continue his chase to being the next Sergio Garcia…and will win his first major a decade or so from now.

And in other sport news, Pakistan absolutely demolished India in the Champions Cup cricket final. After bowling out the first two India batsmen in the first two overs, the rout was on and India’s innings were done in the thirtieth over. There were almost a billion people expected to tune in.

Astros lost 2 of 3 to the Red Sox and continue to disappoint their way to still having the best record in the major leagues by a good margin.

Righto! Now on with…the links!

Loretta Lynch now in crosshairs of GOP-led Congressional oversight committees. The racist and sexist old white men committee chiefs tasked with looking into executive branch activities are expected to summon her to Capitol Hill to answer a few questions in light of James Comey’s testimony.

Somebody standing watch on this Navy vessel fucked up badly.  There’s almost no other explanation for the collision that claimed the lives of 7 crewmen.

Want to test the bounds of the Non-Aggression Principle? These assholes will do it to you.

The special election in Georgia’s 6th Congressional District has now cost over $50 million. Just goes to show you that these fuckers have way, way too much power.

The Electric Daisy Carnival still gives newsmen the vapors.  I bet there were fewer incidents than at a typical Vegas NASCAR Winston Cup, er Nextel Series, no, I meant Sprint Series no, no, no…Monster Energy Series race.

Don’t worry. I’m not gonna subject you to techno. But there will be synths.

Make it a great day, friends.

BONUS LATE LINK: REAL FEMENISM!!!!!!!!! (No, seriously. Which is gonna cause a few panties to get soiled.)

STEVE SMITH HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE THAT ZARDOZ READY TO COME BACK FOR “LIGHT DUTY”. STEVE SMITH LET ZARDOZ DO LINKS, AND GET BACK TO WORK. AND BY “WORK”, MEAN “RAPE”.

FIRST, STEVE SMITH GIVE SHOUT OUT TO DAD – THANKS FOR EVERYTHING POPS!

NOW OVER TO BIG STONE HEAD!

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. A BIG THANK YOU TO STEVE SMITH FOR LETTING ZARDOZ CRASH OUT IN HIS WOODS. ZARDOZ DOES HAVE ODD TASTE IN MOUTH, BUT IS NOT SURE IF THAT FROM DRYING OUT OR…WHAT. REGARDLESS, HERE ARE SOME LINKS FOR MY CHOSEN ONES:

1. NEEDZ ANOTHER 32 YEARS OF SINGLE PARTY IRONFISTED CONTROL OF IL HOUSE BY ONE MAN! OH, AND HIS DAUGHTER IS THE STATE AG…
2. MUST. MAKE . FLIGHT.
3. AS STEVE SMITH COULD ADVISE…DON’T GO IN THE WOODS!
4. BECAUSE LA HAS NO AUTO TRAFFIC, IT CAN AFFORD TO GIVE UP MORE ROAD SPACE.

ZARDOZ GO BACK AND WILL REST IN THE WOODS A BIT MORE. ZARDOZ WILL SEE HIS CHOSEN ONES LATER ON.

Happy Father’s Day all you who one our staff said “thought unprotected sex was a good idea”. We will have a Father’s Day piece out later, so prepare your Dad Stories! But for now – frivolity reigns.

• I guess we now know what a cop can do that will get them suspended.
• Speaking of cops and job actions…
• RUSSIANZ!!!!

I am going to go have a mug of coffee and get ready for today. Enjoy the day, Dad-Glibs.