*stuffs waffles and eggs into gob* Umph?! Oh, sorry about that….Links, uh…yeah. We got some links. *sets fork down* Let me go get them…. here they are. Enjoy! *returns to devouring eggs*
Mmph! Ah. *gulps coffee*
ZARDOZ NOT SUFFERING WITHDRAWAL STUFF NOW. BUT HE SEEM VERY TIRED, SO STEVE SMITH STILL DO LINKS. MANAGE TO FIT ENOUGH RAPE IN TOO. STEVE SMITH GOOD AT MULTITASKING. AND MULTIRAPING. HERE ARE LINKS.
NOW STEVE SMITH GO TO NEARBY CAMPGROUND AND HAVE RAPETASTIC FRIDAY NIGHT!
Happy Friday. Hopefully work is over.
Congratulations to Texans, who can once again legally carry Bowie knives to better kill each other defend themselves with as of September 1. (Here’s the legendary providence of the Bowie Knife — used to kill a corrupt Sheriff.)
Once again, a citizen with a gun ends a crime spree.
Happy Birthday, Adam Smith!
Apprenticeships? No way the Department of Labor will support that. It would probably work.
Is this the worst music video (category: song poor, video poor) to play on MTV? Also, why do I have a strange desire to punch a Russian?
Hoo-boy! Was I ever wrong about the scores at the US Open. Rickie Fowler is leading the way at -7. That’s right…-7. At the US open. Now I don’t know how well those scores will hold up if the wind kicks up a bit and the rains stay away (which I hope will happen), but that’s a Byron Nelson Classic score, not a US Open score on a course that’s unbelievably long. So, all things considered, it was an incredible day for a bunch of guys even with some favorable weather conditions.
Not much else in the sports world (except for one story I will address below). LaVarr Ball probably said some stupid shit. Some baseball was played (but the Astros were off). And the NCAA dropped the hammer on Louisville and Rick Pitino for hiring strippers and whores for basketball prospects. An incredulous Rick Pitino said he has lost faith in the NCAA. The same Rick Pitino that has gotten every college team he has coached in trouble with the NCAA and has a well-earned reputation for being a sleazy, underhanded cunt. I know there are a few Louisville fans here, but I’m sorry. Your coach is cancer.
That’s it. So now we’re on to…the links!
Stop trying to make this shit happen. Nobody with an ounce of brains or sanity wants it to happen. And the marketplace of a few Brooklyn neighborhoods ain’t enough to sustain profitability. Those rooftop beekeepers and unicycle enthusiasts on a staycation do not represent the American man.
The only people more retarded than the ones in that above link are the ones in this link. Seriously. What. The. Fuck?
Here’s the aforementioned sports story: The National Baseball Hall Of Fame has upheld Pete Rose’s lifetime ban. The one he voluntarily signed when he admitted to having gambled on baseball while he was a manager. Good. Fuck Pete Rose. I drove by Jonathan’s Cafe in Franklin, Ohio in the morning a million times growing up and saw his Lamborghini with “4192” on the license plates on plenty of those trips. Everybody knew he was in there gambling. Everybody knew it was against the rules. And I have no sympathy for the asshole that turned me off from baseball for damn near a decade when I grew up idolizing him from the green seats behind first base at Riverfront. I hope he gets into the Hall…about two weeks after they chuck his dead body in the dirt.
Oregon ignores science. What’s surprising is that they beat California and Washington.
We do things right in Texas. (Photos worth looking at for gun nuts)
Check off another box in the “winning” column for President Trump. A small box, but still.
Yeah, I know its garbage.
That’s it. Go out there and have a great day, friends!
Much thanks to others for picking up the links through the middle of the week. It hardly feels like Thursday. Anyhow, much to do. Statists and collectivists are busy laying blame elsewhere for things that happened recently…
“What part of filled with non-flammable helium do you not get?” T/W Autoplay
Camile Paglia is now my go-to black-leather jacketed opinionist. I always find what she has to say original and interesting.
This Qatar arms sale reminds me of a Bill Hicks joke from the (first) US-Iraq war: “When are we going in? As soon as the check clears. Are the banks open on Monday? Probably Monday.”
Google drive will back up (someone’s — not mine because I don’t trust the Google) entire computer to the Cloud. I still don’t trust Apple — whose encryption schemes are hard to break — with my stuff.
NYT‘s lawyers will probably have to make a better correction than this to stop Ms. Palin’s lawyers from walking around with giant visible erections.
It appears that Bill Cosby’s defense was pretty effective. Judge holds jury hostage to get a verdict.
Have a nice, mellow little afternoon with the Owl & the Pussycat
Well thank God yesterday is over. The toxic levels of retardation I waded through on the internet in reaction to the shooting in NoVa nearly did me in for a while. Fortunately, I realized the responsibility, nay the pleasure, I have been granted in getting to put together morning links for this great place that I battled through and found joy later in the day.
And the Astros won. Which is nice seeing as its been a little uncommon the past week. And the US Open starts this morning. And even though this course is retardedly difficult, almost comically so, its still the best tournament in golf to watch…by far.
Anyway, look past all the fuckery and find bright things out there. Sometimes its all we got. Well, that and…the links!
I will link to one dose of retardation so strong that it might give you cancer to read it. There’s so much wrong with this that there’s nowhere to begin. This newspaper has slid to the point its little more than a propaganda piece for the Team Blue/Deep State complex.
Gorsuch seems to be settling in just fine. And he’s filling the shoes Scalia molded for him pretty well.
Christ, what an asshole. (And no, I don’t mean the cop.)
I can’t even try to come up with a clever rejoinder for this. But I’m sure you sick bastards will.
OK, who forgot to put the gas cap back on?
Sleazy politicians are sleazy. Film at 11:00.
Had enough assholes already? So have I. So the last link is about the exact opposite from the people that normally make the news.
Go out there and avoid the derp, friends!
Sooo…anything happen earlier today? I have been kind of busy lately. Oh, one or two small things I can link to. Our theme….accountability (or lack thereof)
Bonus link!
Back to the fondue pits for me. The overseer is approaching with spätzle cat-o-nine tails.
See, I didn’t think this quick sports update through. Because this is Day 1 of the post-playoff and post-NHL and NBA updates. There’s no soccer either, unless you want to talk about the world’s best player (arguably) getting charged with tax fraud by Spain. Oh wait, the EPL Fixture list (or what we’d call a schedule here in God’s country) is out for next season. That’s actually quite newsworthy to a lot of you. Looks like Liverpool get hit hard early. And Chelsea-Spurs in Week 2 ought to be fun.
What else…oh yeah, the Astros continue to play like ass after I talked them up for two weeks. I’ll shut it until they start winning again. Which should be in 3…2…1.
Actually, here’s a pretty interesting story. Albeit, a very looooong one. Let’s see how she does on the first muffed hold. But seriously, I’m rooting for her. Because she’s got a good rack and some muscly legs.
OK, I can only dither so long. You know it and I know it. So let’s get on into…the links!
A faulty refrigerator and lack of proper safety equipment leads to massive fire in London high rise apartment building. 6 dead, and that number will rise dramatically as there are still several dozen people missing. Hey, everybody. (Seriously) go check your damn smoke alarms today.
Sessions goes off during Senate Intellegence Committee hearing. Calls collusion suggestion “a detestable lie”. Spars with every Dem on the committee…none of which bothered asking questions about collusion or knowledge of any real interference. In other words, it was pretty much a shitshow where everybody on both sides will conclude their team won and nobody will admit this is a goddamn witch hunt and a circus with nothing but clowns. And I fucking hate clowns.
You guys like weird shit, yeah? Here’s some weird shit. Glad to know she’s still getting paid. Wouldn’t want to see her suffer.
Texas governor sets agenda for special session. Some good. Some bad. Some ugly.
When believing an accuser with zero corroboration goes wrong. I think the first indication that she was full of shit should have occurred to any logical person the first time they looked at her. I mean, come on.
Just what the world needs. Avocados are becoming even more dangerous.
Go out there and have a great day, friends…right after you check those smoke alarms.
There are two worlds we inhabit: one a sunlit land of opportunity, cheap guzzoline, and giggling children; the other filled with Florida Man, junkies (I repeat myself), ghosts, cheap diners, and silly roadside attractions. You see ever since I was a kid, I had a real love for the roads less traveled, whether it be punk rock shows, partying with misfits, or trying to find meaning in things where very little meaning exists.
Why do I have this love for the obscure? Perhaps it comes from growing up in a boring backwater of suburban wasteland where dreary people lived dreary little lives. Or maybe it was the TV series In Search of…, my reading of Chariot of the Gods, Star Blazers, comic books, or anything else that was outside of the normal day-to-day routine found in Nowheresville.
It’s too bad that age has taught me that the supernatural and such mysteries are more product of the human imagination that reality. A world with haunted houses, STEVE SMITH Sasquatch, Warty and his time suit, and vampires would certainly be a lot more interesting, but it sure would be hell on insurance rates. But for just a moment let’s cast away our sensible and rational brains so we can explore – with childlike wonder – what is going on in the “other” world.
So enough Joseph Campbell-like musings, let’s get on with some links:
Hunting Bigfoot in the Upper Peninsula – STEVE SMITH doesn’t strike me as a Yooper, but perhaps there is something about the denizens of the UP that draws the attention of the world’s most famous Rapesquatch, eh?
Red-faced ghost hunter exploring a ‘haunted’ witches’ prison is scared out of his wits by a TEDDY BEAR (the use of all caps is a dead giveaway that this is a Daily Mail link) – I once knew a haunted teddy bear. It had been molested for years by tomcat who had sexual feelings for the poor thing. You could see the dead stare on the teddy bear’s face. Sad!
Real-Life Vampire Couple Says Sucking Blood Is Better Than Sex – there’s something very, very wrong with a hipster beard “vampire.”
For $125K, you can own a ‘haunted house’ in Texas – “A client got literally nauseously ill and thought she was going to pass out and ran out,” Foley said. “She kept saying, ‘I can’t go back in there. Something hit me the moment you opened the door. I cannot go back in there.’” That Tex-Mex cooking will get ya every time.
UFO sightings on the rise in Philly and PA – “Volunteers even logged a sighting during an Obama rally at the Art Museum.” At least this makes some sense. I, for one, welcome our new lizard overlords.
Mysterious shoes on Napoleon Avenue: Anybody got an explanation? – “I’ve been told for years that the explanation for tennis shoes thrown over utility wires indicates a place to buy drugs. Maybe this dealer is a diva.”
And there ends our cruise through the backwaters of this country, or some other country, or maybe even another planet.
Golden State won. And managed to milk another home game and about $10M by sandbagging in game 4. Tempers flared, but apparently no nuts were grabbed. I had to get all that second-hand because I was not watching the game. Instead, I was watching and explaining My Fair Lady to my 34 year old wife and college graduate with a degree in Theater who had somehow never seen the movie in her life. Seriously, how does that happen? Also, an interesting contrast between the two metro areas that the finals were contested in.
US Open week is under way in earnest. Can’t wait to see how many players put a sickle in their bag in place of a long iron. From what I’ve seen of the rough, it might not be a bad idea.
I don’t want to talk baseball. I am starting to think I am jinxing the Astros, who have had a rough week since reeling off 11 in a row. So I’m just gonna keep my mouth shut on that front.
Anyway, that’s it. The pickings will get slimmer on sports for the next 76 days until college football starts. Unless some stupid shit happens. I guess we’ll have to wait and see. In the meantime, here are…the links!
Here’s some money in politics that might create a conflict of interest. I can’t wait for Team Blue to recommend they recuse themselves.
Anybody ever see an attorney pretty much give up on defending their client in the middle of a trial? Apparently, that’s what just happened yesterday afternoon. Maybe the dude had diarrhea and needed to GTFO, but a six minute defense and a closing statement that all but said “fuck it” is otherwise inexplicable. (There might be an autoplay video there. If so, sorry.)
This is in the LA Times today. You could have knocked me over with a feather when I saw that well-written and sober analysis there. Shouldn’t be long before that writer is disowned and their subscribers are dropping like flies.
Hey Florida Man, hold my beer. (Well, not a beer at this age, but give us a few years…and a lot of prayers we live through them.)
The evul rethuglicans are killing the environment in California. Well, that and global warming. Oh wait, never mind. Its something else entirely. Also, minorities hardest hit.
I hate to do this, but I’ve got to finish with a big, swift kick in the nuts.
Some sage advice for our single Glibs.
Have a great day, friends!