Category: Daily Links

Jeez, what a long weekend. Unless, of course, you’re on the Houston Astros. Then it flew by as you beat the piss out of everyone on your schedule.  Or if you’re Takumo Sato.  And as for the hockey. well the Stanley Cup Finals game 1 was an eclectic mix of slow play, luck, soft checks…and a Penguins (inexplicable) victory.  Seriously, did Mario Lemieux make a deal with the devil?

OK, that’s out of the way and we can get into the political, the personal and the perverted (hopefully).  Let’s dive right into…the links!

Damn, dude. Call an Uber. (This doesn’t count as a sports story since he’s not been an athlete in years. And seriously, how fucking dumb do you have to be to be worth nearly a billion dollars and get a DUI in your gated neighborhood of homes worth tens of millions by the police department who you probably pay enough in property taxes to fund annually?) I’m no caddy, but I say he should have used a driver.

The artist version of a cripple fight is going on right now. Read it for yourself.

Lefty mayor social signals after nutball affiliated as much with BernieBros as he was with the “alt-right” goes off his meds and gets stabby.  Hey, asshole. The First Amendment doesn’t say what you think it says.

When modern environmentalism runs into the adamantium wall that is modern technology. At least they came up with an experiment that could lead to hilarity. Or porn.

Texas Rep calls ICE on protesters disrupting session. Oh, it didn’t end there.  In fact, that’s when shit got real! No word yet if the South Korean parliament is planning on sending advisers over on how to do a proper legislative brawl.

After that last link, I’m thinking this could be refreshed with just a name change for the city. Although there probably isn’t a modern band that could pull it off.

That’s it, dear friends. Welcome back to the work week. Go out there and hit that feeder bar.

It’s a veritable litany of horrors today. Horrors, I tell you, interspersed with outrages. How’s that for a lead in?

The Chinese air force flew dangerously close to US aircraft, zooming in front of them, doing a series of random turns, and slowing down. In other words, it was just like driving through the parking lot at a 99 Ranch.

OK, we know that the press is thriving off ginned up outrage regarding The Guy Who Isn’t Hillary, but this time, it really IS an outrage! I can’t imagine anything more horrific! 

With all the birther idiocy during the Obama years, it’s become evident that they missed the most obvious one: he wasn’t Kenyan or Indonesian or whatever, OBAMA WAS RUSSIAN!

What does a particularly loathsome sycophant do when he’s out of a job? Apparently artless and ineffective trolling. Don’t worry, Petey, you don’t have to do anything actually useful, those pension checks will keep comin’.

And on a personal note, SP and I have been binge-watching Season 5 of Veep. And laughing hysterically, and not just because we’re drunk. Has there ever been a better and more accurate political TV show? What struck us is that, although this season was written and filmed long before the, uhhh, nonlinear events of the 2016 presidential election, the prescience is often spooky.

I can’t believe that I woke up early on a holiday weekend, just to give you people links. Show some gratitude, you entitled fuckers.

Anyway, in today’s Outrage, we find that, horror of horrors, the White House might want to have direct contact with the other superpower. I mean, can you imagine? Actually TALKING with adversaries? It must be a CONSPIRACY. In other news, Team Blue is resurrecting Joe McCarthy as their party symbol, since they have now completed their transition to the Party of Fear of Commies Hiding Under the Bed.

While we’re on the subject of the White House, is there any campaign promise that hasn’t been broken and ground into tiny shards? Yes, their commitment to not get sucked into the Anthropogenic Global Warming Catastrophe hysteria, one of the very few things Trump promised that seems like a good idea. And they’re sticking to that because… wait… what? Never mind.

There are stories which make me hate everyone involved, from stupid education bureaucrats to attention-whore parents to their entitled progeny. This is such a story. But I forgive the progeny because Jesus Christ LOOK AT THOSE! Old Man With Candy heartily approves.

The great mathematician Georg Cantor revolutionized mathematics with his rigorous treatments of infinity. Now, Cantor viewed this from the standpoint of pure numbers. But every once in a while, not often, you run into something which reminds the reader of Cantor’s work on handling infinities in mathematics. An aleph null of derp. Derp that goes beyond one’s normal conception of derp, qualitatively and quantitatively. It should be treasured when found, treasured for the rarity and perfection that it is. Admire it. Admire the perfection of the ultimate derp.

Much fuss about this. I’ll mention in passing that at the same age, my daughter was awarded “Most Likely To Conceive.” Not that she was a slut… oh wait, who am I kidding?

Even more fuss about this. The thing I hate most about progs and the press is that they make me feel sympathetic toward that slug occupying the White House.

I’m… speechless about this. Snowflakes get more and more delicate. If they were in my research group, they’d melt and vaporize in nanoseconds.

This does NOT happen in my research group. A deeply weird story.

This is TDS writ large. “Democrats argue the fact that Gianforte didn’t win by 20 precentage points like President Donald Trump did in November shows voters are fed up with the President and the Republican agenda. They say Montana’s election — like races in Georgia and Kansas — is a bad omen for Republicans heading into 2018.” I’m reminded of this song.

As I get more and more depressed about Trump continuing Obama’s war-boner policies and proving himself no different than the Hildebeast, I listen to this, one of my favorite anti-war songs. I’m sure that if I asked the singer, he’d have blissfully blocked the Team Blue guilt from his mind, but hey, the song is still great. For those of you with more electric tastes, I offer this gem.

And now I’m going to drive home, crack open a bottle, give SP the high hard one, then sleep for the next three days.

Did I call it, or did I call it? The basketball game last night was a predictable ass-kicking and the Celtics were rightfully humiliated by the Cavs.  And I mean hu-mil-i-a-ted. So now the NBA can get down to the playoff matchup everyone knew was coming and teams can sandbag more regular season games since playoff seeding and home court didn’t seem to matter to the two teams that were so much better than the rest of the league its laughable.

And then…there was hockey. That sport that one minute has fans jumping off the couch in excitement and rips their heart the next. That was a hell of a game for the neutral fan. The refs let them play and the goalies both had pretty damn good games. Its just that somebody had to win. And to the chagrin of Canadians everywhere, not to mention fans of every other NHL team, that “somebody” had to be the Penguins that hoisted the Prince of Wales trophy after scoring in the second overtime. But I can sure tell you the people in the NHL offices breathed a sigh of relief.  An Ottawa-Nashville Stanley Cup final would have gotten less viewership than a best of seven matchup between Rosie O’Donnell and Nancy Pelosi striptease competition.

Anyway, that’s all the sports news for today.  Sort of. The other, sports-related tale of misogyny and shitlording directed at a poor, widdle girl will follow shortly. Because its now time for…the links!

Republican Congressional hopeful Greg Gianforte wins the special election a night after being charged with misdemeanor assault for allegedly body-slamming a reporter. He was way out in front and every media outlet in the nation has already called it. That reporter might as well give up and just start embracing political violence if this is how the world is gonna operate. No sense in getting just the facts. He, too, may as well embrace violence. What’s that you say? he apparently advocated for violence against political opponents 10 weeks ago? But that’s different, right? I mean, the violence he was advocating was against a 16 year old kid.

I guess WaPo and the NYT have too many resources invested in the Trumputin “impeachment investigation”, as WaPo literally called it this week, to investigate the avalanche of criminality happening at the FBI and other spy agencies under the Obama administration. Seriously, this is the biggest story in years and they’re just sitting there with a thumb up their collective ass as they grind that axe on the non-existent Russian collusion bullshit.  It’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off.

OK, now the story that is somewhat related to sports. Just read it yourself. I won’t go into any more detail than to say that its retarded as shit. Everybody involved is retarded as shit. And now I feel retarded as shit for having contributed to its spread.

Um, why the hell is this news? “Hey, wanna see a dead guy?” might be in bad taste. It might even be a dubious plot device for a River Phoenix vehicle. But how is it disrespecting of remains? You want to disrespect the remains of Glenn? Then piss into his dead eye sockets, the big government piece of shit that he was. But just pulling open the tray his body is resting on doesn’t count, sorry. (Wait, why were my tax dollars being wasted to keep this guy on ice for four months anyway? Just so he could have a more showy funeral? Even in death, eh John?)

Hey dumbass. Learn to read.

You gotta have faith. No, its not that song. Give me more credit than that.

Good Afternoon, Gentlemen…I am an H.A.L. 9000 computer…. Wait, no I am not. I am your humble purveyor of links. So without further ado, here they are, for your use and amusement.

• NATO Cha-Ching time?
• Chicago is a tiny bit less of a toddlin’ town.
• Someone needs killin’ [update: Here]
• Was he trying to look like a wizard? A Fremen?

Bat ’em around like a cat does a frightened mouse. Or ignore and post your own. Your choice.

I don’t even think they had any meaningful sportsball yesterday. Except for there fact that Manure won the Europa League (which has existed for more than 20 years). And the Firstros lost a game, which I feel compelled to mention so as not to be accused of giving only good news involving them.  Anyway, the real big shit happens tonight at the Wales Conference reaches a crescendo and the Celtics have their season ended by the Cavs, which I feel comfortable reporting as a fact even 13 hours ahead of the game.

Anyway, blah, blah, blah. Other stuff and shit.  You guys want to get right into it. So here come…the links!

Montana special election takes a turn toward the insane when the Republican hopeful decided to literally bodyslam a reporter that got in his face. When asked for a comment on the incident, the candidate was heard to say “oh yeah!” He was cited for misdemeanor assault, which would not prevent him from taking office and by law could not even be adjudicated until after he leaves his post, should he win.

When DREAMing goes wrong. But hey, when you’re such a piece of shit that you’d illegally export arms to another country through drug cartels and you’d climb on top of a school full of dead children to call for gun control , I shouldn’t be surprised when you’d also let violent gang members in after they had been apprehended.

Dirty little bastard. He’s lucky it wasn’t my kid otherwise his sentence would have included spending more than the next five years eternity on probation in a pine box.

Aw shit.  They’re baaaaaaaaack!

I guess this guy never heard the phrase “quit while you’re ahead.” Dumbass.

The title to this isn’t accurate. I know a lot more than just this one. Sometimes for better and sometimes for worse.

Have a great day, friends! A freaking great day.