Category: Opinion

  • The Grand Unified Theory of Derp

    Often I have asked myself: what do all forms of stupidity have in common?

    I have concluded that despite its myriad forms, derp has but one source: lack of curiosity. This attitude is exemplified in the cliche “perception is reality,” a phrase which makes me wonder if the people who use it have ever seen a magic trick.

    The whole point of thinking is to look past what is obvious. That’s why we say (and should say more often) “don’t judge a book by its cover.” Synonyms for “think” in English include words like “ponder,” “examine,” “consider,” all of these words are derived from Latin words that mean to weigh or look at closely. Thinking means to test ideas, not just have them.

    Our natural instinct is to make quick decisions and judgements based on first impressions and to stick with them. This approach works in most but not all situations. Even when faced with disproving evidence, most people are much more likely to look for information that confirms what they believe than evidence which contradicts it.

    Does Not Compute

    My favorite example of this is the broken calculator experiment. In it, high schools students and adults who had passed a math test were asked to estimate the answers to some arithmetic questions and check their answers with a calculator. The calculator was rigged to give answers that were off by about 25% – a difference big enough that a numerate person would know something is wrong. Yet in the experiment, about half the participants at the end said they believed calculators do not make mistakes.

    In an even more depressing example, 19 college professors with PhDs in sciences were asked to evaluate a geometry lesson on calculating the volume of sphere. First, they were given an orientation on finding the volume by calculation and by measurement. The next day, they were given an incorrect formula which gives a sphere a 50% larger than normal volume. Then they were given actual spheres which they filled with water and then measured the volume with graduated cylinders. Incredibly, none of the participants questioned the formula. They reasoned they must have measured wrong or the equipment was labeled incorrectly.

    So why do people persist in error? For the same reason people do many other wrong things – because doing the right thing is uncomfortable. The good news is that false beliefs cannot outlive the people who hold them, and so they tend to die off eventually.

     

    When the decisive facts did at length obtrude themselves upon my notice, it was very slowly, and with great hesitation, that I yielded to the evidence of my senses.

    -Joseph Priestley

    Leo Tolstoy

    The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow-witted man if he has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that he knows already, without a shadow of doubt, what is laid before him.

    -Leo Tolstoy

    The main hindrance for the search for truth is probably the inability to abandon a present belief and adopt a better one when it comes along.

    -Peter Elbow

    The desire to be right and the desire to have been right are two desires, and the sooner we separate them the better off we are. The desire to be right is the thirst for truth. On all counts, both practical and theoretical, there is nothing but good to be said for it. The desire to have been right, on the other hand, is the pride that goeth before a fall. It stands in the way of our seeing we were wrong, and thus blocks the progress of our knowledge.

    -Willard V Quine and J. S. Ullian

  • Making Cooking Easy and Your Day Better – Louisiana Gumbo Edition

    By But I like cocktails and lurking

    I have had a few requests for some of the recipes that I have posted in comments over the years so I thought putting them up here would be easier for any interested parties to find. After hearing about some of the cooking mistakes from the inexperienced and how some people are pressed for time, I thought it would be handy if I compressed/condensed the recipes and methods so that anyone can eat gourmet quality food with very little effort and time. I hope you all enjoy these immensely. Really good food can only make your life better. This is gourmet food for the non-gourmet chef.

    Justin Wilson, the Cajun chef, was famous for beginning his recipes with “First, you make a roux.” Justin knew what he was talking about.

    I am going to give instructions on how to make a basic roux but I recommend buying your roux ready made from the grocery store. They are identical in taste and quality. The only disadvantage in buying roux is that the pre-made roux tends to settle on their way to your kitchen and can take some effort and time to stir back into a homogenous consistency. The only reason you should make your roux is if you can’t find any to buy or if you want a special roux made differently.

    Practicing making a roux is easy, cheap, and doesn’t take long to master. Start with a warm skillet, a good whisk, and a pot set aside to put the roux in. Put equal parts white flour and oil into the skillet and whisk until there are no lumps. I have tried various flours and found that the best, by far, is plain bleached wheat flour. Any good vegetable oil will do. A quarter cup of flour and a quarter cup of oil will make plenty of roux for any large pot of whatever dish you are making.

    Turn the heat up to medium-high and stir occasionally until you see the oil-flour mixture begin to boil. Begin whisking constantly. If it begins to smoke you have the heat too high. The constant stirring keeps any of the oil-flour mixture from sitting on the hot pan surface long enough to burn. Continue doing this until you see the flour start to brown. When it gets to the color of caramel you have made a light roux. You can remove the skillet from the heat now if a light roux was your goal. Because the pan and oil are still hot, it will continue to cook the flour for a short time and possibly brown it further. To prevent this, empty the pan into the cool pot you have set aside.

    If you want a darker roux continue to cook and stir the roux until it reaches the color of milk chocolate. If you are really adventurous you can cook it to the color of dark chocolate but you run the risk of burning your roux.

    The light roux will have less flavor and will thicken your dish, the darker roux will flavor your dish more and not thicken as much.

    For taste you can experiment with different oils. I find that peanut and sesame oils have a much nuttier taste, lard is more hearty, and the various other vegetable oils are more generic but still satisfactory.

    If you are worried about calorie counts, don’t be. A little roux goes a long way. The oil coats the flour granules and makes them more difficult to digest. The darker you make the roux, the more you cook it, the fewer calories there are to be digested.

    Again, unless you are shooting for something unique like a sesame roux, it is much easier to buy your roux ready made. There are numerous brands of ready-made roux; they are all identical and as good as what you can make yourself. It only takes a few minutes to make a roux but having it ready made is a real time saver. Buy your roux. It is usually found in the ethnic foods section of your grocery store and is economical.


    How to throw together a first class meal in fifteen minutes

    1/4 – 1/3 cup of prepared dark roux. A light roux will do but a dark one is preferred
    1 12oz to 16oz bag of frozen seasoning blend (onion, bell pepper, celery mixture)
    6-8 chicken bouillon cubes
    1 cap-full of Zataran’s liquid crab boil
    1 teaspoon (less if you are a wimp) Cayenne pepper
    1 tablespoon crushed garlic or 1 teaspoon powdered garlic
    Dark chicken (8 boneless, skinless thighs or 4 leg quarters)
    About 2 lbs of cajun sausage, sliced ¼ inch thick
    6-8 cups of water – to cover the meats

    If you are in a hurry you can simply throw all of these ingredients into a large stock pot cold, adding the water last to just cover the meats. Cover your pot and bring to a low boil for about one hour. There is no need to precook or mix anything. The boiling will do all of that for you. While it is boiling, an occasional poke with a spoon isn’t a bad idea. After you have turned the heat on you can start the rice, put away all of your ingredients, wash any dishes if there are any. (There shouldn’t be aside from the measuring spoons. All you needed to do was open packages, the pot is on the stove, and the stirring spoon is next to the pot on a trivet or spoon-rest.) When your significant other/others arrive all they will see is a clean kitchen, a boiling pot, and the air will be filled with the most delicious smell. Serve over rice.

    – Get yourself a microwave rice cooker. It is a simple plastic pot with a snap-on lid and a vent. It only costs a couple of bucks. To make your rice, put two cups of water, one cup of rice (basmati is best), two chicken bouillon cubes, one and a half tablespoons of butter, and about one tablespoon of dried, sweet basil in the pot. Microwave on high for 15 minutes.
    You can taste the rice but don’t let anyone else taste it before serving the meal. They will eat all of your rice right out of the cooker.

    Lastly, while you are in the Cajun food section of the grocery store, keep your eyes peeled for gumbo file’. It is dried and finely ground sassafras leaves. After you have served your gumbo over rice you can sprinkle this over the top of your dish.

    This is a perfect recipe for anyone who wants really good, authentic home-cooked meals but doesn’t have a lot of time. It is easy, fast, and doesn’t take a master chef. I am looking at you Commodius Spittoon. It is also a perfect recipe for any restaurant because it can be made in bulk in minimal time and sold by the bowl for a good profit. It will draw a large, hungry crowd, especially in cold weather. Trust me, they will keep coming back.

  • Jewsday Tuesday

    Of all the stories in the Bible, the story of Phineas is probably my favorite. It has it all: plague, badass gods, wizards, executions, intercourse, more executions, complete confusion, and random violence. It’s all about what ISIS wants to be when it grows up.

    Phineas was the grandson of Aaron (who bore a striking resemblance to John Carradine), and thus the great nephew of Moses (who later became a spokesman for the NRA, but that’s a story for a different Bible). As a youth, he was distinguished by his zealotry, that being a euphemism for “crazed killer wrapping himself in religion.” He first comes to our attention with the Heresy of Peor.

    The HoP was a bit of a complicated issue: it all started during the 40 Year Hike from Egypt to Israel with a wizard named Balaam. Balaam was hired by the King of Moab to curse the Jews. The King of Moab later went on to be the deputy chair of the DNC. Whatever, Balaam went up on a mountain (people seemed to do that a lot in those days) to do some sacrifices as part of the curse thing, but in a senior moment, he accidentally blessed the Jews. Don’t ask.

    Anyway, realizing his mistake, he went back to the King and said, “This cursing shit is all well and good, but if you really want to stick it to Yahweh, what you need to do is get some pussy involved. The women you’ve got here, they’re some pretty fine shiksas, and Jew men cannot resist the lure of the shiksa. That’ll put ’em on Team Baal Peor!” The King thought that this seemed to be a pretty good idea. And what do you know, pretty soon, the Jews were banging Moabite women and worshiping Moabite gods (“Hey, bow down to Baal Peor or no nookie tonight!”).

    This pissed off Yahweh something fierce, so he instructed Moses to grab the ringleaders and hang them, which he did with a combination of dispatch, glee, and rope. Now here’s where things get confusing: everyone was worried about the Moabites, but suddenly, the worry is about the Midianites. No explanation beyond, “Well, both names start with the letter mem.” OK, they didn’t even explain THAT much. Maybe it was just shitty copy editing when the Bible got assembled. But whatever, Jew men will fuck anything that’s not wearing a mezuzah and a sheitel, so who cares, bring on the Midianite babes!

    Further confusion: apparently the still unmollified Yahweh started a plague which killed like 24,000 Jews, but no one seemed to think that this was worth writing down. Or they were scared to, because a pissed off Yahweh is not a good thing if you want to remain plague-free. Enter Phineas. He found out that there was a VIP from the tribe of Simeon named Zimri, who had a hankering for the strange. Zimri picked up a Midianite woman named Cozbi (or Cosby, which would be fitting) and took her back to the tent for some special desert hummina-hummina. I assume that, being experienced desert wanderers, they had worked out a system to avoid sand in the vagina, but the Bible is rather quiet about those details.

    Phineas went to the Love Tent and saw Zimri and Cosby going at it like crazed weasels. Moses knew that this was an issue, but seemed hesitant to act. So Phineas, being a doer and not just a thinker, did what any of us would do in the same situation: he took his spear (which he had snuck past the Hebrew version of TSA, disguising it as a cane) and ran it through both of them. One of the disadvantages of the missionary position is that it really takes only one good spear thrust for both participants to die, but in the heat of the moment, they hadn’t really given this much thought, despite knowing that the homicidal nutbag Phineas was out and about. Phineas, being a lifter stud on the order of Warty, then used the spear as a bar, Cosby and Zimri as plates, deadlifted them, and carried them out of the tent.

    Now with Jew-Midianite shishkabob on the menu, Yahweh smiled and stopped that plague that no-one wanted to mention. Phineas got onto the promotion track, pulled together an army, killed a shitload of Midianites, managed to pull this off with no Jewish losses (if you don’t count the 24,000 Yids offed by Yahweh and the newly-ventilated Zimri), and eventually got promoted to High Priest.

    Don’t you just love a happy ending?

  • Reviews You’ll Never Use: Kong: Skull Island

    I’m going to break one of my own rules established when I began this review column and provide a review for a new, mainstream blockbuster film. In a broad sense, I’m doing this simply because I can; admin power is not worth having unless it is wielded capriciously. But in a much more focused sense, I’m doing this because this film falls firmly in my wheelhouse. It is an American kaiju eiga, and there are damned few bigger fans of this genre in the world than your intrepid author.

    I hope that it is not too much of a letdown when I tell you that even as someone radically predisposed to enjoying this sort of film, I found Kong: Skull Island to be an unsatisfying experience. Let’s delve a little into what brought this film about, and see where things went wrong.

    Image result for kong skull island
    Promotional poster for the film

    This movie is a direct result of the existence of Marvel Comics. More specifically, the new Hollywood craze of “shared universe” largely instituted by the success of the Marvel films, beginning with 2008’s Iron Man. Shared universes existed previously, of course, mostly in linear sequels which often only obliquely referenced the events of prior films in the series. Perhaps the most famous and successful shared universe pre-Marvel was the Star Wars franchise. However, Marvel took it to an entirely new level, with cross-over cameos, and explicit tie-ins canonically linking each movie into a specific place and event sequence in the universe, and where actions in each film had direct repercussions upon the subsequent films in other lines (Agent Smith’s capture of the Tesseract in the first Captain America story having a direct influence not only on the first Avengers movie, but also creating the overarching story of the hunt for the Infinity Gems/Stones, as they are called in the comics and film series, respectively). This level of cross-promotional bonanza was unheard of before the wild success enjoyed by Marvel, and other studios have been scrambling to catch up ever since (and mostly failing – suck it, Warner Bros.!). Even one of the previews for this film is for another franchise-starter for a shared universe, The Mummy. Universal is hoping to rehash all their classic monsters in new, gritty films in which the monsters will all presumably eventually work together. This will lead to a steaming pile of crap, OR possibly be one of the greatest movies ever made.

    Never ones to pass up an opportunity to copy something else more successful, studio after studio began planning sessions on which properties they could franchise into endless streams of summer blockbusters in shared universes. In 2010, Legendary Entertainment had acquired the rights from Toho Co. for a big-budget American Godzilla film. This led to the Gareth Edwards 2014 film, titled simply, Godzilla. I thought it was very well done, but I’ll not say more lest you heathens receive two reviews for the price of one.

    After the success of that film, in which Legendary partnered with Warner Bros. for financing and distribution, some bright bulb thought to check and see if WB had or could secure the rights to our own homegrown giant monster, King Kong. Sure enough, they did, and Shared Universe Mania did the rest.

    Image result for king kong vs. godzilla
    What this is all ultimately leading up to. Read on!

    However, you can’t simply launch straight into a two-marquee monster mash-up without the mortar of the shared universe structure, which in the industry is called universe building. A more prosaic term might be “let’s see how many of these cash-grabs we can shit out before having to get to the main event”. And so Kong: Skull Island was born in their small, fevered minds.

    Our story takes place in 1973. Fancy-pants cryptozoologist (fun fact: Microsoft Office does not recognize that as a real word, just like it isn’t a real job) John Goodman has discovered a new island in the South Pacific, where he believes be dragons. He fakes an interest in cartography and securing any unknown natural resources of this island before the Soviets can get their red claws on it, and manages to convince the gub’mint to provide him with an Air Cav escort led by regular-pants Samuel L. Jackson. Jackson is an officer who is bitter over America’s seeming defeat in the Vietnam War, and looking for one last mission to find meaning in an otherwise meaningless age.

    Image result for full metal jacket hooker
    Pictured here: all you need to know about Vietnam

    With Too Tall and Snake Shit in tow (damn, wrong movie), along with stock issue anti-war journalist Brie Larson, and drunken burned out former SAS devastatingly handsome devil-may-care mercenary Tom Hiddleston, the stage is set. Upon flying over Skull Island on an investigatory bombing run (yes, I meant what I typed: it’s part of a geological survey cover story so preposterous I don’t want to spoil it for you), the entire force is knocked out of the sky by Kong. The remainder of the film is the story of groups of survivors trying to make their way to a pre-planned rendezvous with a resupply mission from the cargo ship they arrived in. Jackson wants to kill Kong to avenge his dead soldiers, whereas the civilians are only worried about getting the hell off the island. Various giant beasties make their usually violent appearances, and we meet the taciturn natives of the island, who have taken in stranded World War II fighter pilot John C. Reilly.

    It’s a hell of a cast. Legendary obviously was willing to spend All Of The Money to make this thing work. The problems, though, begin to surface early.

    First, I honestly thought that Goodman and Reilly turned in the only worthwhile performances in this film, and even then barely. The characters are written so thinly that they all come across as clichéd archetypes, from the Handsomely Brooding Very Serious Hiddleston to Jackson’s bitter war vet, played by the actor shockingly against type as a loud badass angry black man. Reilly is genuinely funny as the comic relief, though there’s nothing in his performance that you haven’t seen before, so if you weren’t a fan of him in Talladega Nights or Step Brothers, there won’t be much for you here.

    Director Jordan Vogt-Roberts seems to be aware of the paucity of actual artistic effort going into this movie, and we’re introduced to the titular giant ape extremely early in the film. I suppose he knows why people are coming to see this movie, and it isn’t just to find out it was a fucking sled from his fucking childhood (I still get angry thinking about that, at random times throughout the day). His only other full-length efforts prior to this were the indy film The Kings of Summer, and 49-minute runtime made-for-tv movie Cocked. Being given the keys to the kingdom on such a large production so early in one’s career paid off handsomely with an at-the-time still relatively unknown Gareth Edwards and Godzilla (Gareth got that job on the really quite good indy alien invasion film, Monsters, before using his kaiju success to then land the plum directorial job for Rogue One), but here Vogt-Roberts’s fails to bring life to an already torpid script.

    A small sampling of my personal Godzilla memorabilia collection, and every film except for the 1998 Matthew Broderick abortion.

    The effects, always of paramount concern in a film such as this, are passable. It is, of course, a CGI crap-fest, but since that is the future of all film, I suppose I have to rein in my old man frustration and forever bury my man-crushes for the masters of the practical. If the names Tom Savini, Rick Baker, and Rob Bottin mean nothing to you, you are a sad, deprived little person.

    There are call-backs to Jurassic Park (Mr. Jackson tells his men to, “Hold on to your butts!”), the original King Kong Vs. Godzilla (giant octopus fight scene), and universe building with the 2014 Godzilla. The secretive government-sponsored Monarch Corporation is a prime player, and Godzilla-related past events shown in the earlier film are referenced again in this one.

    Already announced: the next film to be released will be Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019), followed by Godzilla vs. Kong (2020). Hold on to your butts.

    Ultimately I rate Kong: Skull Island 12 Bags of Cat Food out of a possible 20.

  • Musings from the Trash Can: Random Thoughts from A Muppet

    My brain is going in a thousand different directions today, so I’m gonna roll with it. I’m just gonna write a few sentences for each thought in stream of consciousness form and see whether it gets me booed off the stage.

    • It’s amazing how much money touches every sore spot in a relationship. My wife and I are going through Dave Ramsey’s FPU to “tune up” our finances now that I’m making a paycheck again, and it’s painfully obvious how different our respective priorities are. I’m very risk averse and want to be completely out of debt within 5 years. She’d rather have nice things and not think about money. There was definitely some sleeping on the couch happening this week.
    • Am I the only one who couldn’t care less about this Russian bullshit? It didn’t pass the smell test in November. It didn’t pass the smell test in January. Now it smells like an Obama fart as we are starting to get wiretapping information.
    • I’m not at all surprised that the Whatever 7 from Wikileaks was another big nothing. We learned more about how utterly out of control our intelligence agencies are, but none of it was a “shocking revelation.” Wikileaks needs somebody to better market their info dumps because they’re all hat and no cattle at this point.
    • I think the NFL is suffering from the same problems as the NBA, and their ratings will continue to decline in the next few years. The players are less and less interesting to the majority of the population, prices for tickets and apparel are out of the reach of many, and the media spends more time on who beat up their girlfriend than on actual football anymore.
    • Basic Economics by Thomas Sowell is a great read! I think I’d recommend Economics in One Lesson by Henry Hazlitt first, simply because it’s shorter and less repetitive. Either book is a great primer on why everything politicians say about economics is crap.
    • Complete detox from the MSM has been nice. I’ll watch the occasional local news segment or click the random link to a MSM outlet, but generally I just avoid it. It gives a level of perspective to the daily Olympic pants shitting that happens in our culture. Also, nothing pisses a prog off more than when they’re hyperventilating with “Did you see that Trump did that????!?!?!?”, replying with “nope, must’ve missed it. Doesn’t sound very important.”
    • After watching a few Dateline episodes with Mrs. trshmnstr (what is with women’s obsession with that show??), I’ve come to the conclusion that if the random guy you met at a party texts you 2 hours later, he’s already in your garage getting ready to rape you, strangle you, and dump your body three counties over.
    • Final thought: I had always thought of the Civil War as being fought mostly in open fields. My visits to the Manassas Battlefield have disavowed me of that notion. I’m sure the artillery were set up in large fields, but it looks like much of the battle must have taken place in densely forested areas.
  • Trump Wiretapping May Actually be a Thing…and it Looks Nasty!

    By Trump Lotto of The Unforgiving Shadow

    The Trump wiretapping scandal is back with a vengeance and you’ll want to pay close attention this time! Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, Devin Nunes, came forward with new information involving surveillance of Trump transition team members. Nunes claims communications of Trump’s team were captured on multiple occasions, incidental to collection on foreign targets. Nunes further claims these intel reports include details about transition team members that offer “little to no foreign intelligence value.” The intelligence reports were widely disseminated in the intelligence community, and the identities of US citizens exposed during collection, were left unmasked. Finally, Nunes said none of the surveillance was related to Russia or investigations into ties between Russia and team Trump, an obvious but futile attempt to head off more Russian conspiracy theories.

    My fellow Glibertarians, if this is indeed true, the significance is staggering! If you are not familiar with SIGINT collection operations you probably don’t fully appreciate what the implication is here. When signals intelligence incidentally collects information on a US citizen, it is a huge deal! The collectors must take steps to mask the identity of the US person, destroy or at least restrict any information gained from or about the US person that has little to no foreign intelligence value, and attempt to limit future collection on the US person. If Nunes is right, this didn’t happen. Whoever disseminated these intel reports never masked the Trump transition team members, included details with no relevant intelligence value, and then disseminated this information. This does not happen accidentally! I’ve seen people lose their access for far, far less.

    It’s time now to put on the speculation hat and try to crack this thing wide open: If I’m President Obama and I want to dig up dirt on Trump, directly spying on him would never fly. I need a method that at least offers plausible deniability. So, I do some research and find some foreign friends of the Trump transition team; foreign persons that Trump team members have regular contact with. Next, I get a trusted intel staffer to cook up some BS accusations about these foreign targets being involved in a conspiracy or terrorism. I get my intel subordinates to present this to the FISA court, and you’re approved for surveillance! It’s easier than buying a toaster.

    Next, an appropriate agency begins collection and whoops, since these foreign targets have regular contact with Trump transition team members, we just happen to incidentally collect information on them, too, but we totally weren’t intending to do that….wink, wink. This is where things fall apart for plausible deniability: If the rules are followed, the identities are masked, information is withheld, and the rest of the intel community will have no idea who the US persons were in those intelligence reports. Of course, if the rules are followed, that destroys any attempt to get dirt on Trump. So somewhere along the line, someone high up in the intel chain-of-command (most likely a director/agency head) made the call that these US citizens would remain identified in the disseminated intel reports. This was not a low-level decision!

    Trump Has a Serious Intel Problem

    Trump may be a master of media manipulation, but I don’t know if he fully appreciates the situation he’s in. Signals intelligence dudes illegally and improperly collected and disseminated information on his team and maybe even him. This information was probably seen by hundreds of analysts and the heads of every major US intel organization. Why the hell didn’t anyone come to Congress sooner? Sure, this looks bad for Obama, who is the probable mastermind, but it appears that a large portion of the intel community has been silent on this.

    A sitting President has an intelligence powerhouse with vast surveillance powers and no qualms about blatantly illegal and unethical surveillance on the President’s own team! Trump needs to clean house and do it fast or this could get ugly. Trump’s relationship with the intel community has already been frosty, but he may have a fair number of entrenched and powerful enemies willing to go to war if it means taking him down.

    This revelation also comes on the heels of FBI Director James Comey’s congressional testimony that he has “no information” to support Trump’s wiretap claims. It strains credulity if we are to believe Comey never saw these intel reports. Perhaps Comey is merely playing semantic games here, ignoring this incidental surveillance because it isn’t physical wiretapping. Either way, it doesn’t look good for Comey, and it is high time Trump gave him the ax.

    The Liberal Media Playbook

    This is the level of commentary you can only expect here in Glibertaria. Meanwhile, CNN’s coverage on this revolves around Nunes apologizing for not notifying Democrats of the intel before his press conference: Nunes only notified Republicans prior to the conference. Now I agree that Nunes should have briefed his Democrat committee members, but this is slow news day coverage at best. On the other hand, evidence that the former President used his powers to spy on an opposition candidate, that’s huge! But at this point, any of us could have called the news coverage a mile away.

    Still, I think it’s interesting to discuss the liberal media playbook. If this is substantiated, it’s big and very bad. In the short term, they’ll continue to ignore it or downplay it like they’ve been doing. Once more details are provided, they’ll have to cover it, but I suspect the Clinton email plays will be marched back out to paint this as another unsubstantiated right-wing conspiracy theory. And with tremendous irony, they’ll fire back with their own conspiracy theories. Even if there isn’t a Russian within a light-year of this thing, liberal outlets will be wildly throwing around accusations that this is proof of a Russian conspiracy. The collection efforts were exposing those connections, contrary to Nunes’ comments, and now Republicans are trying to cover it up!

    There’s one more important takeaway here: If the intelligence community willingly participated in a scheme to spy on a US Presidential candidate, what’s to stop them from doing far worse to your average US citizen? They had to realize if this got out it could be very bad for them. On the flipside, abusing your power to target a lowly US peasant, that’s easy to hide. It’s time to be paranoid folks…. very, very paranoid.

  • Go Ask Alice

    The Query

    I’m a single guy who’s finding the search for a girlfriend frustrating, because one of my absolute requirements for any woman I date that she be at least libertarian-leaning. I have friends of different political persuasions, of course, because politics aren’t the crux of our friendship, so we do [shared interest activity] then part ways. But I don’t think I could stand coming home to someone who supposed to be a source of solace and moral support yet I think is at best naïve and at worst stupid or immoral or both. How could I connect with someone who doesn’t even understand my frustrations with the world outside the walls of our home? How could I respect as an equal someone who thinks such a world is moral or just?

    So, for those of you who are dating/married to non-libertarians, how do you make peace with that? Am I doing myself a disservice by maintaining such a strict requirement?

    Where The Libertarian Women At?

    The Answer(s)

    Riven:

    I don’t think there’s anything wrong with waiting until you find the right person. Previously, I was married to someone who might have considered himself a libertarian, but he definitely fell into a standard Republican square, in my estimation. Things didn’t work out–for plenty of reasons, not just because we couldn’t see eye-to-eye ideologically. One thing I’ve found about libertarians and libertarianism is that it isn’t just a political philosophy; for me, it’s more of a life philosophy. I would not be able to push my ideals aside for my romantic partner and I have a whole failed relationship to prove it. As you said above, how could I come home to someone who has an entirely different approach/reaction to the world than I do? I couldn’t. Mr. Riven and I met on OKCupid, where it was easy to see on each other’s profiles if there was going to be any compatibility or not. Luckily we were both painfully honest, and meeting in person only reinforced that compatibility further. The rest, they say, is history. Hold out for that unicorn.

    Banjos:

    A thrice divorced hopelessly romantic former coworker of mine once told me a story. He was almost about to give up on finding “the one” when a friend of his point blank asked him a question.  “What do all the women you have been married to/dated over your life have in common?”  He thought about it for a second and then said “I met them all in bars.”  His friend then said “If you want to catch a different kind of fish, you need to start fishing in different ponds.”  My coworker took his friend’s advice to heart, found a different pond, and has been happily married ever since.  Shortly after being told that story, I started fishing on Reason and caught myself a sloopy. I know of another couple who are soon to be married who found each other through Reason’s comment section, as well. So my simple advice is this: If you want a libertarian fish, fish in libertarian ponds.

    BrettL:

    First of all, we know there are no libertarian women out there, Banjos and Riven are taken. But beating our heads against the wall of impossible is obviously attractive to the libertarian leaning. What worked well for me was to find one who didn’t care at all about politics and really didn’t think much about how society should be ordered. And then show her the outrageous things that happen every day that this site and certain others are good at highlighting. Mrs. L still doesn’t care about politics, per se, but she sure does say a lot of things that sound like they came off this message board in response to the petty statism we encounter day-to-day. However, Mrs. L is awesome, sane, and puts up with me, so good luck finding your own unicorn.

     

    If you’ve got questions and no answers, feel free to drop us a line at advice@glibertarians.com, and we will do our best to help you.

  • Reviews You’ll Never Use: Zardoz

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES.

    He speaks to you of his wonderful, magical, infuriating, nonsensical, visually bounteous film.

    This review is the direct result of a number of comments noticed by Your Friendly Ruling Council of Eternals Admins which indicate that a disturbing number of you may not have seen this film. The original plan was to write the entire review as Zardoz, and post it using the Zardoz account. However, I tried it out for a paragraph, and trust me…as a reader, that gimmick has its limits.

    Image result for zardoz
    The Flying Stone Head of Zardoz

    The 1974 movie Zardoz is a passion project tossed as a bone to director, screenwriter, and producer John Boorman in appreciation of his wild success with the 1972 classic, Deliverance. If you haven’t yet seen that one, I’m afraid it’s a tad too conventional for Reviews You’ll Never Use. Deliverance is a completely mainstream film, and so will find no place in this column.

    Zardoz marks only the second post-Bond film of Sean Connery. The actor was apparently having some trouble with typecasting, and not only accepted the role, but became fast friends with Boorman. Our other leading thespian is the beautiful Charlotte Rampling, a prolific actress known for many roles over the years, but perhaps best remembered by trash cinema & horror fans from her turn in the 1977 Richard Harris vehicle Orca, a brutally unsubtle Jaws knock-off.

    Given carte blanche, Boorman oversaw every aspect of the film, from writing to post-production. In his director commentary it is obvious that he reflects on the film fondly but admits that he perhaps stretched too far. To which your humble author would reply, Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp, Or what’s a heaven for? Indeed what Mr. Boorman considers an ultimately flawed product, is still so delightful in myriad ways that I shudder to think what would have come about if he had succeeded in bringing the totality of his vision to the screen.

    Somehow I don't think this guy believes that the penis is evil.
    I wasn’t kidding about the drawn-on facial hair.

    Our film opens in the year 2293 with a floating head providing exposition (explained by Boorman to be an ultimately unsuccessful attempt tacked on in post-production to reduce audience confusion). Interestingly, this narrator is fully self-aware and refers to his understanding that he is a fictional construct of the writer/director. The head inexplicably has a thin drawn-on mustache and goatee. We cut to a giant flying head that vomits guns and commands the “Brutals” worshiping it to go forth and kill, because, “the penis is evil” and overbreeding brings about a plague of men.

    One particularly clever Brutal, our protagonist Zed, stows away in the flying head and is taken to a realm preserved out of time, where the enlightened scientific remnants of advanced humanity live eternal lives of unspeakable drudgery. Punishment in this society is conducted by forced aging, the senile being sent to live in what appears to be an endless New Year’s Eve party ala TGI McScratchy’s. Others simply give up caring about life, and become Apathetics, standing around catatonic and being given green bread on which to sustain themselves. The self-styled Eternals view themselves as the preservers of the past, collapsed civilization, and their Eden is run by a supercomputer known as the Tabernacle.

    Yep, you get to see dem titties, along with a wonderful assortment of others.
    Charlotte Rampling
    Hard pass.
    The famous costume that Sean Connery wore to his wedding, and still wears to all public functions to this very day.

    The Eternals capture Zed and decide to study him, to find out how the vulgar strain of humanity has changed over the last two hundred years. One thing leads to another, as things inevitably tend to do in a story, and ultimately the Eternals find the answer to their weary prison of never-ending life.

    This film feels like something that was going to be, supposed to be, could have been, a great artistic achievement. Boorman’s self-directed criticism is on solid ground; it’s all simply too much. The visuals are wonderful. The costumes, the colors, the backgrounds, are all rich and help to bring this very interesting world to life. The problem is that this world is so very rich, that it becomes simply impossible to do it justice while remaining focused on progressing the plot. Who cleans up the Apathetics and the prematurely aged Renegades? They’re all quite spotless. Where do these non-functioning individuals relieve themselves? How on earth do the Eternals plan to cope when, inevitably, everyone slips up and commits transgressions resulting in forced aging into senility? The psychological scenes, in particular, seem over-wrought, as one begins to slip the line of confusing complexity for its own sake and nonsensicality with an artistic statement.

    For all that, I cannot find it in my heart to say this is a bad film. Imperfect? Surely. Plot holes you could drive a reasonably-priced sedan through? Absolutely. But the film is so lovely, the acting so involved, the entire production handled with such obvious love and hope, that it wins you over. Boorman is a good enough director to take what in anyone else’s hands would have become a tangled mess, and turn it into a modern bizarro masterpiece. While it lacks the raw insanity of House, it is obviously the vision of a man who knows exactly what he wants to express, and how he wants to express it, and that vision is sublime. Unfortunately, due to the limitations of time, budget, technology, etc, it is up to you as an audience member to take a step forward and meet the film halfway by taking the parts of that vision which are offered and completing it with your own mind and soul.

    And yes, there are a fair number of titties.

    I award this film 10 Severed Feet out of a possible 13.

  • Why You’re Wrong about Healthcare

    There are few things in the world more frustrating than talking to average people about healthcare, but surely one of them is talking to fellow libertarians about the problems with our healthcare system.  This goes beyond frustration with the typical libertarian infighting.  Part of it is that there are so many things terribly wrong with our healthcare system, any libertarian can point to most any aspect of the system and find some legitimate confirmation that their favorite peeve is, in fact, a problem.  However, even though there are numerous contributing factors to our healthcare woes, there is one evil to rule them all—but very few libertarians seem to understand what that is.  The purpose of this analysis is to identify the ultimate cause of our problems, show why most libertarians’ favorite solution doesn’t really address it, and show why the Ryan plan is a hell of a lot better than most libertarians seem to appreciate.

    What the Chart Does and Doesn’t Say

    So, here is the ultimate source of the problem—Medicare and Medicaid only pay for a fraction of the cost of care.  Providers are left to gouge private insurers and out of pocket patients for all the money they lose treating Medicare and Medicaid patients.  According to the chart, hospitals are charging private pay patients about 150% of cost.

    There are two major implications of this that people don’t generally appreciate.  More charts would probably only make things more confusing, just understand two things: 1) Medicare and Medicaid patients are more expensive than private pay patients, and 2) the unfunded costs of Medicaid aren’t evenly distributed across the country.

    What the hell does that mean?

    • Medicare and Medicaid patients tend to cost more than private pay patients. People on Medicare are older and need more in the way of expensive treatments—heart surgeries, terminal illnesses, etc.  Poor people on Medicaid, likewise, tend to have more babies, more health problems, and may generally be more expensive to treat than private pay patients.

    So, don’t be confused by the averages in the chart—Medicare and Medicaid are covering 85% of the costs (on average), but they’re also covering more expensive costs.  In other words, if the average private pay patient goes to the hospital once a year for an MRI scan, when the insurer pays 150% of that relatively small cost, they’re reimbursing that provider for the tens of thousands of dollars the provider lost performing heart surgery on someone with Medicaid or Medicare.

    • The unfunded costs of Medicaid are not evenly distributed, and that points to another problem caused by Medicare and Medicaid only reimbursing providers for a fraction of the cost of care. Medicaid is for poor people, and poor people aren’t evenly distributed in your city, much less your state.

    Hospitals are like retailers in that they serve a local community and that community has a particular income level.  If the hospital is in an area with a disproportionate percentage of poor people, then there are few private pay patients in that community on insurance to make up for the shortfall.  That means where the chart says that the average private pay patient is paying 150% of cost vs. Medicare/Medicaid’s 85%, it assumes that the patient mix is the national average.

    In other words, if the hospital is an area where the local population only has 10% private pay patients and 90% Medicare and Medicaid patients, then that 150% percent of cost figure for private pay patients is going to be much, much higher–and those kinds of patient mix numbers are not uncommon in urban poor areas.

    Sensitivity Analysis

    The part where you all get mad at me!

    Usually, a sensitivity analysis would show how taking the Medicare and Medicaid reimbursement rate up higher would impact the local cost of care.  This sensitivity analysis is more about how the system would improve relative to various solutions.  How would doing x, y, or z improve the situation?

    For instance, wouldn’t the system be better if individuals and insurers formed the market instead of getting insurance through employers? I suppose it would be better, but that solution doesn’t address the real cause of the problem.  Insurers would still be competing to sell you a policy that covers 150% of the cost of care (national average).

    What about removing the “Cadillac” tax, getting the AMA to stop limiting class sizes of nurses and doctors, making pricing transparent, or making policies portable across state lines?  Without getting into too much detail, transparency and portability are extremely complicated because of Medicaid, and even if those things were possible—what would any of them do about the fact that insurers are still paying 150% of cost (national average)?

    Solutions

    I suppose a lucid progressive might suggest taxing productive workers to take Medicaid’s and Medicare’s reimbursement rate up to 100%, but 1) raising people’s taxes so they can afford to buy insurance is just playing an especially stupid shell game with costs, 2) Medicare and Medicaid spending already make up almost a third of the federal budget, 3) the Medicare rolls are already set to increase as baby boomers continue to retire, and 4) that might be an extra $300 billion a year in real payouts—something like the size of our national interest payment.

    The ultimate solution is to cut these programs.

    Medicare is more politically sensitive, and Medicaid is especially responsible for driving up the cost of private insurance in economically distressed areas.  Certainly, rolling back the ObamaCare Medicaid expansion is a necessary step before we can cut back the rest of Medicaid—and did you know there is a plan being considered in Congress, right now, that gets rid of the ACA Medicaid expansion after 2019?

    Whatever else the Ryan plan isn’t, it’s one of those rare situations in which the actual cause of the problem is actually being addressed.

  • Horace Flack – The state official whose scholarship pressured the states to obey the Bill of Rights (with Southern Gothic backstory)

    By: The Fusionist

    On April 27, 1947, the Baltimore Sun profiled Horace Edgar Flack, “a placid, unassuming, kindly doctor” – meaning he had a Ph.D. from Johns Hopkins in political science. As head of the Department of Legislative Reference for both Baltimore and for the entire state of Maryland, Flack helped draft bills for the lawmakers and gave them information about similar legislation in Maryland and in other states. Flack had been described as “a walking encyclopedia” – “If you want a bill drawn up on any subject, he can oblige in about fifteen minutes, provided the matter is not too complicated. If it is complicated, it takes a few minutes longer.” Flack was so indispensable that “[w]hen he leaves the Department of Legislative Reference for even a matter of minutes, the business of lawmaking all but comes to a standstill.” His staff credited him with drafting eighty percent of the state’s laws since he took the job thirty years before.

    (Insert libertarian joke about taking Flack on a long, relaxing Caribbean cruise)

    Flack and his wife shuttled between Baltimore and – when the legislature was in session – Annapolis. In both places, Flack’s office desk was “[n]ever piled higher than six inches with a remarkable assortment of papers[.]” The desk “is all but buried by the end of a legislative session.” Yet Flack could “put his hand into the heap and come up with any desired document with unerring accuracy.”

    No wonder state politicians were anxious as Flack, who had been born in 1879, neared the mandatory retirement age: “The thought of his impending retirement two years hence causes shudders among Maryland officials, who are sure there will never be another like him.”

    The readers of this laudatory article wouldn’t know of the old civil servant’s family difficulties as his daughter became estranged from her soldier-husband – a war hero who had perhaps been spending more time in French territory than was compatible with maintaining family life. Not to mention that within two months of the article, Horace Flack was going to become even better known to members of the legal establishment throughout the country. This time, he would not be known as a facilitator of new state laws, but as a potential obstacle to them. A scholarly paper he published as a young man, arguing that the states had to obey the Bill of Rights, was about to get drawn into a debate over the relationship between state power and individual liberties.

    These were heady times for a man the Baltimore Sun said “has been called…‘the greatest man that ever came out of the hillbilly country of North Carolina.’” Now, Flack had never fully “come out” of rural Rutherford County in the southwest of the Tarheel state. Horace owned the ancestral farm (formerly co-owned with his late brother Roswell, a physician) and visited the farm when he could screw Tom Wolfe. What Horace had left behind in North Carolina was a fairly shocking family secret which went back half a century.

    While Horace Flack was growing up, his family were small farmers and not often well-rewarded for their exhausting labor. Horace’s father Millard reportedly told a nephew “you can continue to raise cotton if that is what you want to do, but I never expect to plant another cotton seed as long as I live.”

    Millard Flack certainly did not plan for his son Horace to be a farmer. Making what must have been a considerable sacrifice, Millard sent Horace to Wake Forest College (now Wake Forest University) in Winston-Salem, NC. (Horace’s brother Roswell also pursued higher learning at this time).

    Horace’s uncle, Mills Flack, was more enthusiastic about the farming life, but did not like the economic decline of small family farms like his, a phenomenon for which he blamed sinister plutocratic forces (“Shylocks”). Mills Flack served in the North Carolina legislature in the 1890s, during a brief interval during which agrarian Populist radicals like himself combined their votes with the votes of black Republicans to displace the Democrats and set up a Populist/Republican “Fusion” government.

    At Wake Forest, Horace joined the Euzelian literary society, one of two such societies to which students were required to belong. The literary societies, rather than the faculty, punished student misconduct such as “trampling the grass…spitting on floors of chapel and classrooms and halls, and library, or keeping firearms, or throwing water from the windows.”

    The Euzelian society and its counterpart, the Philomathesian society, conducted regular debates. The topic in February 1900 was “Resolved: That England was not justified in making war upon the Boers.” Flack took the negative, apparently meaning that he argued England was justified in fighting against the white farmers who ran the Boer Republics in South Africa (I haven’t read Flack’s paper but it’s in Wake Forest’s archives).

    Speaking of giant power-hungry entities trying to absorb white farmers…the Democratic Party in 1900 resolved to completely destroy the Fusion coalition and establish a political monopoly. The Democrats did this by proposing a state constitutional amendment to disenfranchise large numbers of black voters, without whom nothing stood in the way of a solid Democratic majority. Democrats harped on White Supremacy, and the disenfranchisement amendment passed, securing one-party Democratic rule for several decades. In the wake of the excitement of the White Supremacist agitation in Rutherford County, there was a murder and a lynching, and Horace Flack’s uncle Mills Flack was at the center of it.

    Mills Flack had a dispute (over peaches) with a black sharecropper or tenant, Avery Mills, and the tenant’s wife, Raney. Avery Mills threw a rock, Mills Flack shot Avery Mills and tried to take Avery Mills’ gun, and Avery Mills fatally shot Mills Flack. A lynch mob making up about a quarter of the local population (by the widow Raney Mills’ estimate) took Avery Mills out of police custody and killed him. The only person convicted in the affair was Raney Mills, who was promptly pardoned. Mills’ family tradition says there were warrants out for two of the alleged lynchers – sons of Mills Flack, and therefore cousins of Horace Flack. According to tradition, the cousins hid out for a time until the authorities seem to have lost interest and dropped the matter. Some of the lynchers seem to have had second thoughts when they realized that Mills Flack had fired the first shot, but by then the deed was done.

    Young Horace left North Carolina, leaving his family’s scandal behind. He went north, but not beyond the Mason-Dixon Line. He became a graduate student at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, Maryland, studying political science. The political science department at the time was one man, Westel Woodbury Willoughby. Professor Willoughby suggested a couple research projects for Flack to work on.

    The first project, published in 1906, was about the recent Spanish-American war. Flack was skeptical about the American justification for the war, which had been based in part on alleged atrocities the Spaniards committed in fighting a Cuban rebellion. Flack said that the Northern forces committed atrocities against the South during the Civil War, and European powers wouldn’t have been justified in interfering on such grounds. “War is bad at its best, and when it assumes its worst form, General Sherman’s definition [of war as hell] does not seem inappropriate.”

    Willoughby’s next assignment for Flack was a study of the origins of the Fourteenth Amendment, a key U. S. constitutional provision pushed through by Northern Republicans after the Civil War. Willoughby was working on a book about U.S. constitutional law and probably wanted to commission a study which would help with his own work. It was a delicate project for Flack to undertake, since if black lynching victims received “equal protection of the laws” as the Fourteenth Amendment required, some of Horace Flack’s relatives would probably be in prison or hanged.

    But Horace Flack applied himself to his task, looking up old Congressional debates from the Reconstruction era when Northern Republican politicians, like Congressman John Bingham, discussed their ideas for constitutional protection of the freed slaves and Unionist white Southerners in the former Confederate states. Flack’s conclusion: The history of the debates on the 14th Amendment showed a purpose to make the states obey the first eight amendments to the Constitution – the “Bill of Rights” (possibly minus the 9th and 10th amendments). The privileges and immunities of American citizenship – protected by Section One of the Fourteenth Amendment – included the rights in the first eight amendments. If anything, Flack’s research did not go far enough – there was no Internet in those days, so Flack missed some key newspaper articles of the Reconstruction era agreeing with the interpretation Flack was advancing.

    Flack’s book, The Adoption of the Fourteenth Amendment, did not exactly cause a big splash at the time. In the same year the book was published – 1908 – the U.S. Supreme Court issued a key decision, consistent with earlier precedents, that  only a few parts of the Bill of Rights are applied to the states on an arbitrary, feelz-based basis. Most of the rights in the Bill of Rights – in the 1908 case, the freedom from self-incrimination – were simply optional on the states, which could ignore them if they wanted. Likewise with the right to trial by jury, in civil and criminal cases, and the right to have one’s case heard by a grand jury, and some other rights – the states could observe these rights or ignore them, based only on their own constitutions.

    But having completed his doctorate, Flack now had to find work. While he had thought about working in North Carolina, he changed his mind when he met Edith Henning, a Baltimore belle whom he married, and he decided to make Maryland his home. The city of Baltimore had just created a Department of Legislative Research to provide nonpartisan assistance to local lawmakers, and Flack was the first person appointed to this new position – and there wouldn’t be another appointment for almost fifty years.

    Based on his experience, Flack wrote a paper for the American Political Science Association, singing the praises of legislative reference bureaus like his. Private interests had their staffs of lobbyists who researched and drafted bills to benefit their clients, and then tried to get the legislatures to pass such bills. Shouldn’t the public be served by draftsmen researchers with no allegiance except to the common good? Such draftsmen and researchers should have long terms of service to give them experience and provide for developing good institutional memory. Other states were using reference bureaus, to good effect. It was just a matter of hiring good people for these positions and then letting them do their jobs.

    The Maryland legislature got the hint and appointed Flack as the head its own legislative reference bureau. Now Flack was working for both Maryland and the city of Baltimore.

    An outside project Flack did in 1920 might have given him a chance to get some influence on the Supreme Court, but it doesn’t seem to have worked that way. Former President William Howard Taft, a leader of the prestigious League to Enforce Peace which sought to avoid another world war, published a volume of his writings and speeches about peace, and Horace Flack was one of the editors of the project. Taft was a supporter of the League of Nations, just like President Woodrow Wilson and the Democratic Party in general. The Republican candidate for President, Warren Harding, didn’t like the League, which the U.S. Senate had rejected. The ambitious Taft wanted to be Chief Justice, a job no Democrat would give him, so he threw his support behind Harding with some pious hopes that Harding would end up being for the League. That didn’t happen, but in 1921, Harding made Taft the Chief Justice of the United States. But if Flack had been in touch with Taft about Flack’s Fourteenth Amendment book, Taft gave no sign of it, focusing his constitutional jurisprudence on the protection of strictly economic rights while being wishy-washy and vague on applying the Bill of Rights to the states (Taft’s colleagues indicated that freedom of speech and the press might apply to the states, after first denying that they did).

    In the 1930s, Flack spoke to Parent-Teacher associations about education and to the League of Women Voters about voter registration and voting machines. When the 1935 legislature adjourned, the Baltimore Sun ran an admiring article about how Flack and his staff spent five days, together with near-sleepless nights, making sense of the legislature’s work and organizing it for publication. Horace Flack was circulating in highly respectable circles – he had gone far for a country boy.

    Flack even earned a mention in the New York Times – via the social pages – when his daughter Marialice married Lieutenant Lee Carl Miller on October 14, 1936.

    The following day, October 15, a jury in Connecticut convicted Frank Palko of first-degree murder for killing two police officers during a robbery. Earlier in the year, a jury had rejected a first-degree verdict and convicted Palko of second-degree murder for the offense. A state appeals court ruled that the trial judge had made errors in Palko’s favor, warranting a new trial. This sort of procedure was unusual – most jurisdictions, including most states and the federal courts, hold that once a jury refuses to convict on a charge, the defendant cannot be retried on that charge. After Palko got a death sentence at his second trial, Palko’s lawyer, David Goldstein, took the case to the U. S. Supreme Court, claiming that Palko’s second conviction violated the constitutional right not to be subject to “double jeopardy” for the same crime.

    Goldstein discovered Flack’s book on the Fourteenth Amendment, and relied heavily on the book in his Supreme Court arguments. Goldstein referred to The Adoption of the Fourteenth Amendment as “a scholarly document which, to counsel’s knowledge, has not hitherto been called to the court’s attention.” If the Bill of Rights applied to the states, via the Fourteenth Amendment, then Frank Palko had been subject to unconstitutional double jeopardy.

    Goldstein’s argument didn’t work. The Court, which had already taken a lot of grief from New Dealers and progressives for overturning “democratically enacted legislation,” wasn’t going to take such a radical step as to force the states to obey the Bill of Rights. Sure, there were a few provisions of the Bill of Rights which were important to “ordered liberty” – free speech, free press, and the right to just compensation – and those parts of the Bill of Rights applied to the states. But other parts of the Bill of Rights were not so fundamental: jury trial, the right against self-incrimination, and the right not to be subject to double jeopardy. Palko was executed. Justice Hugo Black had apparently learned about Flack’s book from Goldstein, and began to ponder the work.

    Meanwhile, the forces of organized do-goodery in California were chipping away at another right in the Bill of Rights. The district attorney of Alameda County, an ambitious fellow named Earl Warren, got several “law ’n order” measures on the 1934 ballot, including a provision that if a criminal defendant failed to take the stand in his own defense, the prosecutor could use the defendant’s silence as an argument in favor of guilt, never mind the Fifth Amendment right not to incriminate yourself. Warren’s measures were supported by civic groups and the press. The Sausalito News said that the self-incrimination provision would mean “a better administration of criminal law.” The self-incrimination provision and the other ballot measures easily passed by two to one margins, becoming part of the California constitution.

    California prosecutors had the chance to use this self-incrimination law against an alleged murderer named Dewey Adamson. Adamson was accused of breaking into the house of a Los Angeles widow and beating and strangling her to death. After the prosecution gave its case, Adamson said nothing and produced no witnesses – Adamson had a criminal record which would have been brought up if he’d testified. Summing up to the jury, the prosecutor taunted Adamson by saying “it would take about twenty or fifty horses to keep someone off the stand if he was not afraid.” Adamson was convicted and sentenced to death. Adamson’s lawyer claimed that California had violated the right against self-incrimination, and that this right was binding on the states via the Fourteenth Amendment.

    Up to the U.S. Supreme Court the case went, just as personal feuds and antagonisms among the Justices were sharpening their philosophical differences.

    The Justices were all New Deal progressives, appointed by the late Franklin Roosevelt to purge the Constitution of federalism and economic freedom in the interest of a federal welfare/warfare state. But having put that triumph under their belts, the Justices were split into quarrelling factions, having bitter catfights with each other.

    One faction was associated with Felix Frankfurter, shown here, oops I mean here, no, seriously folks, here.

    Frankfurter was a zealous New Dealer from before there even was a New Deal. As a Harvard professor, he had supplied advice and personnel to the Roosevelt administration. He took judicial progressivism to its logical conclusion: Frankfurter believed that, having killed off economic rights by agreeing to the laws the majority wanted, it was time for the Supremes to defer to all parts of the democratic process. Why should noneconomic rights, like the stuff in the Bill of Rights, be considered more important than economic rights? These issues should largely be left to the voters and their elected representatives except in extreme cases where (as assessed by Frankfurter) the democratic process went Too Far. But at the state level, violating the Bill of Rights was not, in and of itself, Too Far. States should be free to experiment with such “reforms” as abolishing juries and grand juries, allowing the prosecutor to appeal acquittals, and compelling suspects to incriminate themselves.

    The other faction was associated with Hugo Black, a former Alabama Senator who had developed a genuine attachment to some civil liberties. Black agreed with Frankfurter that the courts should not protect economic liberties, but where non-economic rights were concerned, Black thought the way to preserve freedom was to uphold the entire Bill of Rights against the states, not just a few selected parts of the Bill of Rights. Focusing on the first eight amendments would keep the courts from being arbitrary in picking and choosing which freedoms to value.

    Black had been researching the intent of the Fourteenth Amendment, relying to a great extent on Flack’s research. The Adamson case provided an opportunity for Black to show his conclusions. Black found three other Justices to agree with his view that the states had to obey the Bill of Rights.

    The other five Justices were not impressed. On June 23, 1947, the Court decided that, whatever Black’s research might say, the precedents were against the Bill of Rights. The states didn’t have to respect the right against self-incrimination. Adamson was executed.

    Despite his victory, Frankfurter was dissatisfied. Outvoting Black was not enough, Black had to be attacked and refuted on a scholarly level. Frankfurter, not Black, was supposed to be the intellectual leader of the Court. Frankfurter was the learned scholar, the ex-Harvard professor. Black was some hick cracker who was simply too dumb to appreciate good scholarship if it bit him on the ass. If only one of Frankfurter’s former students could step up to the plate…

    Fortunately, a friend and ex-student of Frankfurter’s did precisely that, apparently without any prompting from the Justice. Professor Charles Fairman of Columbia Law School was just starting up his school’s law journal. What a great venue to highlight a scholarly rebuttal to Black…and of course to Flack.

    Naïve as he was, Flack had believed that it would be Southerners who would object to the implications of his scholarship, which gave a broad interpretation to the Fourteenth Amendment which the Southern leadership had tried to prevent being passed in the first place. Flack did not anticipate that certain highly-placed Northern progressives would in effect put on their Confederate flag trucker hats and raise the biggest stink about Flack’s work.

    Fairman lacked Flack’s respect for the framers of the Fourteenth Amendment. To Fairman, as to Frankfurter, the Reconstruction Republicans were vindictive fanatics who needlessly antagonized the South. To Fairman, the Northern Republicans’ Southern allies under Reconstruction consisted of “the Negroes, the carpetbaggers…and a few long-suffering Southern Unionists – a combination which was weak, inexperienced, often corrupt.” (And Frankfurter showed his sympathies when he referred to the “vengeful spirit which to no small degree envenomed the Reconstruction era.”)

    In his 1949 article, Fairman dived into his defense of Frankfurter…with relish. Coincidentally, Fairman found exactly what he thought he would find: historical evidence backing up Frankfurter’s views. The Fourteenth Amendment was never meant to apply all of the Bill of Rights to the states. The true meaning of the Amendment was vague, which as Fairman later explained, meant that it was up to the federal courts to work out the details of what the states could or could not do.

    The bottom line for Fairman was that Flack’s scholarship was no good, and Black had embarrassed himself by relying on Flack’s work.

    In 1948, Flack’s statutorily-mandated retirement was approaching – he would reach the retirement age of 70 in 1949. Governor William P. Lane, Jr., wrote to the state Attorney General, asking for legislation to allow Flack to stay in office beyond 1949. “Knowing the esteem in which Dr. Flack is held by all of those who come in contact with him on official business of the state,” the governor wrote, “I am sure the General Assembly will give this proposal favorable consideration.” The mayor of Baltimore likewise wanted to keep Flack in his city position.

    In 1949, the same year as Fairman’s article skewering Flack as a scholar, the Maryland legislature passed a law which the governor cheerfully signed, allowing Flack to serve past the normal retirement age.

    After three more years’ service in office, Flack had a heart attack and a stroke in 1952, putting an end to his career. After four years in retirement, he died in 1956. He is buried in his native Rutherford County.

    The Supreme Court has yet to accept Flack’s conclusions about the Bill of Rights, reinforced as those conclusions have been by subsequent scholarship. While adhering to the pick-and-choose philosophy, the Supremes have decided to apply a few more Bill of Rights provisions to the states, such as double jeopardy and self-incrimination – though it was a bit too late for Palko and Adamson. In 2010, the Supremes applied the Second Amendment to the states, over voluble progressive protest. Other rights, like civil juries and grand juries, are still up to the states to observe or not, at their discretion.

     

    Works Cited

    Richard L. Aynes, Charles Fairman, Felix Frankfurter, and the Fourteenth Amendment – Freedom: Constitutional Law, 70 Chi.-Kent. L. Rev. 1197 (1995).

    Available at: http://scholarship.kentlaw.iit.edu/cklawreview/vol70/iss3/10

    “The Ballot Propositions,” Sausalito News, No. 43, Oct. 26, 1934, http://bit.ly/2mL5xgK

    1. Timothy Cole, The Forest City Lynching of 1900. Jefferson, NC: McFarland, 2003.

    Richard C. Cortner, The Supreme Court and the Second Bill of Rights: The Fourteenth Amendment and the Nationalization of Civil Liberties. Madison: University of Wisconsin Press, 1981.

    Ed Cray, Chief Justice: A Biography of Earl Warren. New York: Simon and Schuster, 2008, p. 72.

    “Dr. Flack Finally Finds Out Just What Assembly Did,” The Baltimore Sun, Apr 7, 1935, p. 9.

    “Dr. Flack To Address League: Women Voters to Hear Talk On A Permanent Registration And Voting,” The Baltimore Sun, Nov 22, 1936, p. SC17

    “Dr. H. E. Flack, Ex-Law Data Chief, Dies: Linked with Government Machinery in City from 1907 to 1952,” The Baltimore Sun, Jun 27, 1956, p. 38.

    “Dr. Horace E. Flack; A Capable State and City Official,” The Baltimore Sun, Jan 1, 1943, p. 12

    “Dr. Horace E. Flack To Speak,” The Baltimore Sun, May 19, 1933, p. 9.

    Entries for Horace Edgar Flack and his various relatives, findagrave.com.

    Charles Fairman, “Does the Fourteenth Amendment Incorporate the Bill of Rights? The Original Understanding,” Stanford Law Review, Vol. 2, No. 1 (Dec., 1949), pp. 5-139.

    Noah Feldman, Scorpions: The Battles and Triumphs of FDR’s Great Supreme Court Justices. New York: Twelve, 2010.

    Horace Edgar Flack, The Adoption of the Fourteenth Amendment. Baltimore: The Johns Hopkins Press, 1908.

    ________________, “Resolved: That England was not justified in making war upon the Boers” . Anniversary speech, Negative. Jr. Thesis, (Feb. 16, 1900. 1900.), Wake Forest Archives, Junior and Senior Theses Record Group, see https://wakespace.lib.wfu.edu/handle/10339/28081

    ________________, Flack, Horace Edgar.  “Resolved: That the South Carolina Dispensary System is Unwise”. Speech and Sr. Thesis for Master’s Degree. (1901.) Wake Forest Archives, Junior and Senior Theses Record Group, see https://wakespace.lib.wfu.edu/handle/10339/28081

    ________________, “Scientific Assistance in Law Making,” The Proceedings of the American Political Science Association, 1913-1914, pp. 215-221.

    ________________, Spanish-American Diplomatic Relations Preceding the War of 1898. Baltimore: The Johns Hopkins Press, 1906.

    “Flack, Horace Edgar,” in Who’s Who in America, vol. VII, 1912-13, Chicago: A. N. Marquis, p. 707.

    Carol Forbes, “Business: Looking Up,” The Baltimore Sun, Apr 27, 1947, p. SM6.

    “Horace E. Flack, PH.D.,” in History of North Carolina: Volume VI: North Carolina Biography. Chicago: Lewis Publishing Company, 1919, pp. 332-33.

    Lewis L. Gould, Chief Executive to Chief Justice: Taft Betwixt the White House and the Supreme Court. Lawrence: University Press of Kansas, 2014

    “Lee C. Miller 1934,” http://apps.westpointaog.org/Memorials/Article/10021/

    “Legislative Council Honors Dr. H. E. Flack, Veteran Aide,” The Baltimore Sun, Dec 31, 1942, p. 5

    “Legislative Unit Nears End of Task,” The Baltimore Sun, Dec 6, 1940, p. 6.

    Maryland Manual 1950, Volume 163, p. 160t, http://aomol.msa.maryland.gov/000001/000163/html/am163–160t.html

    Maryland Session Laws 1949, Chapter 19, March 4, 1949, pp. 20-21, online at http://aomol.msa.maryland.gov/megafile/msa/speccol/sc2900/sc2908/000001/000590/html/am590–20.html

    Louis [sic?] J. O’Donnell, “Printer May Have Dropped Lost ‘Streetcar’, Flack Says,” The Baltimore Sun, Feb 1, 1946, p. 26.

    “MillerFlack,” New York Times, October 15, 1936.

    NC Executions, 1901-1930, http://deathpenaltyusa.org/usa1/state/north_carolina2.htm [execution was by hanging until 1910, when the method switched to electrocution]

    Thomas J. O’Donnell, “School Fund Bill’s Origin Still Veiled,” The Baltimore Sun, Jan 21, 1947, p. 30.

    George Washington Paschal, History of Wake Forest College, Volume II: 1865-1905. Wake Forest, NC: Wake Forest College, 1943.

    William Howard Taft (Theodore Marburg and Horace Edgar Flack, eds.) Taft Papers on League of Nations. New York: MacMillan, 1920.

    Bryan H. Wildenthal, “Nationalizing the Bill of Rights: Revisiting the Original Understanding of the Fourteenth Amendment in 1866–67,” 68 Ohio State Law Journal 1509 (2007).

    Westel Woodbury Willoughby, The Constitutional Law of the United States, Vol. I. New York: Baker, Voorhis and Company, 1910, pp. 175-76.

    “Would Retain Dr. H. E. Flack: Lane Wants Him Kept After He Reaches Retirement Age,” The Baltimore Sun, Dec. 12, 1948, p. 22.