Glibertarians.com 2017 Archive

Category: Products You Need

  • Review – Heavy Metal Inspired Beer

     

    Iron Maiden Trooper

    I picked it up despite its $5.99/can sticker price mostly due to my being a sucker for good marketing.  Apparently, Bruce Dickinson happens to be an “ale enthusiast.”  At least this is the message listed on the can.  I interpret that as Bruce is really an aging 1980’s, metal-god who happens to be British.  I am absolutely shocked–SHOCKED–to find out he drinks a lot of beer.  I went through my iTunes playlist of other Maiden songs while I tried this out.  In the off chance you do not have any Maiden on your playlist, here’s a link.

    The song, of course, is about the Battle of Balaclava during the Crimean War, and the famous Charge of the Light Brigade.  I never studied the history behind this war, but skimming the surface appears to be the usual, completely avoidable conflict between European powers.  To oversimplify:  Russia wanting some control over the area took advantage of the Ottoman Empire’s weakness but for some reason was not the aggressor—that was the Ottomans.  The Russians won the first round handily.  France joined the conflict over what appeared to be nothing more than pride from losing to the Russians at Waterloo in 1812.  Britain engaged in hostilities because of the Ottoman’s strategic location, with the Ottoman regime being their access to India at the time.  Further background on this can be found at this link here.

    How is the beer?  It’s a traditional English Extra Special Bitters (ESB) Ale.  If you’re into the ‘proper’ English ales or even understand why our British cousins use that adjective for everything, you’ll probably find this enjoyable.  Perhaps not as enjoyable as the music, but I’m pretty ambivalent about the beer.  It has the traditional full bodied texture, heavy malt character, and an ever so slight nutty aroma.  Some reviews on the internet also claim there is a hint of lemon, but I cannot taste that.  It does what it needs to do fairly well, but not enough for Bruce to quit his day job 2.8/5.

    AC/DC Rock or Bust

    It is easy to lob all the verbal jabs at the Thunder from Down Under for their remarkably simple riffs and their ability to sell millions of albums filled with songs that all sound the same.  When you do that for around 30 years, those jabs start to fall short.  Their beer in question shares this remarkably simply quality that tastes like every other mass produced pale lager in existence.  I will respect the beer more if they manage to sell it in large quantities for as long as they have filled stadiums.  Until then, I probably should not have wasted my time mentioning it here 1.9/5.

    Megadeth A Tout Le Monde

    This one comes with a backstory.  At the UFC Fight Night in Phoenix last January I got a sample of this for free.  If I bought one I got a ticket to meet Dave Mustaine, who also happened to go to the fight but I imagine got better seats than me.  My parents owned a store I worked at while growing up that he frequented.  By most accounts, he is a nice guy and I have to agree.  Since I met him before I gave the ticket away to a random fan.  The beer is a Saison, made by the same brewery that makes Fin de Monde.  Given that pedigree, one might assume it is pretty damn good.  It does in fact, live up to those expectations.             

    It has a nice foamy head, that holds up for quite some time.  The scent is a sweeter citrus, like tangerine or orange, but it finishes with a muted lemon.  I was disappointed they sold it with a twist cap when I bought it at the store but it is hardly a deal breaker.

    Way better than the swill AC/DC slapped their name on and held up way better than BJ Penn’s face.  Much like the Ottomans, that guy rather handily got his ass kicked.

    A Tout Le Monde weighs in at 4.2 /5.

  • Firearms Friday: Languishing Links

    Nothing big this week, so you get a bunch of links. You will read these links and you will comment on them, so help me GOD!

    Remember the autoglove I linked to the other week? Well get your shocked faces ready cause the ATF just took a big steaming crap all over it. Guess you’ll have to get your retarded simulated full auto somewhere else.

    HK will no longer sell guns to Israel. You know who else wouldn’t let Jews buy guns?

    Here’s your code brown moment of the day. Russian helicopter accidentally fires missiles into parking lot (with video!).

    Silencerco has released the Maxim 50, an integrally suppressed muzzleloader legal in all 50 states without a background check. Oh wait, they’ve already received legal challenges from Massachusetts, New Jersey, and California, because of course they would. Take notes people, this is the correct way to troll.

    In more news that should shock no one familiar with the .mil, the ICSR program to replace the M4 with a 7.62 rifle has been cancelled. The AR is quickly turning into that which may never die.

    EDC Tactical is offering custom engraved billet AR lowers for $115 each. They’re also offering their standard billet lowers in multiple designs for $60. I bought one and I’ll let you know what I think when I get it. Anyone interested in a Glibertarians AR lower? I’m thinking the ‘SAFE-SEMI-AUTO’ markings should read ‘NAP-FYTW-STEVE SMITH’.

    I will leave you with more advice from the timeless and entertaining Clint Smith:

  • Review – Rogue Sriracha Hot Stout

     

    If you ever had Cave Creek Chili beer, you probably agree with the popular opinion that it is dreadful.  It didn’t help that when Cave Creek came out with the beer it was several years before novelty beers became more popular.  So when I received this as a gag gift at the office Christmas Holiday Party, I decided I would be as objective as possible.  After all, I like beer.  I like sriracha sauce, the combination should be okay, right?

    Let’s start with what is right about this.  Sriracha sauce or its parent company Huy Fong foods was founded by David Tran, a Vietnamese Immigrant.  Legend has it, the former ARVN officer stowed away on a freighter in the early 1980s.  Having survived the trip, he found himself penniless, without hot sauce to his liking, and worst of all in California.  He made the sauce first by hand, selling mainly to Chinese restaurants and his company grew from there by word of mouth.  The company is named for the freighter that brought him to America.

    The beer is not hopped at all as far as I can tell but it does not matter because there is no balance to this at all.  This reminds me of the Lindt chocolate bars with chile or those candies from Mexico.  There is a sweet full bodied beer behind it but it is overpowered by flaming cock sauce.  Mexican Indians drank something similar.  Cacao trees are native to the Americas and were believed to be a gift from the Quetzalcoatl, the god of wisdom.  It was originally prepared as a beverage; evidence of fermenting cacao seeds to make alcohol suggests the practice was in place as early as 1400 BC. To this day, it is still prepared as a hot frothy beverage mixed with spices that is believed to be a powerful aphrodisiac. Powerful, like this guy:   

    The peppers are somewhat muted by the stout but not nearly enough.  Perhaps now is a good time to mention that my ancestors engaged in human sacrifice and cannibalism, but quite frankly, I can only see myself eating this with Thai curry or Pho.  Even then I would probably only do it on a dare.

    I was at a loss as far as glassware.  That Gordon Biersch glass (they call it a Willibrecht) is as neutral a glass that I own but I typically use it for Amber and Pale Ales.  IPA, Barley wines, Trappist, and Brown Ales I opt for the Chalice or a Tulip Glass.  Lagers go in a mug.  Stouts and Porters go in a Pint glass.  The spices are so intense, it doesn’t suit any of my glassware.

    If you are going to spend the five days following the winter solstice, holed up in your house while waiting for the gods to finish deciding whether to end the world or let you live for another year…you might like this.  If you like covering yourself with black mud to celebrate the god’s gift of a new year…you might like this.  If you plan on ripping open the sternum of one of your enemies, beheading him and eating his still beating heart…you might like this.  If you have achieved a higher plane of consciousness, climbed into your pyramid and flew back to your home planet…you may like this.  For the rest of us, I leave it by saying that it is not for everyone.  I couldn’t finish the bomber, instead I pulled out a Four Peaks Kiltlifter to round out my evening. 2.2/5.

  • Firearms Friday: Left Handed Lamentation

    I want to start off today with some excellent news: The SHARE Act has passed out of committee in the house and is headed to the floor. This bill does a ton of awesome stuff, most noteworthy being the removal of silencers from the clutches of the evil NFA, as well as gutting the ‘non sporting purposes’ bullshit and preventing rifle ammo from being banned as ‘armor piercing’. Barring any unforeseen problems in the house and senate (I’m looking at you, McCain, you shitbird) it should be on the president’s desk in a few weeks. This would be the biggest pro gun victory since the sunset of the assault weapons ban. Do everything in your power to get this to pass. Seriously, this is YUUUGE!

    In case that last bit of news made you too excited, here is a little nut punch to even you out: Paul Ryan has unilaterally blocked the National Reciprocity Act from reaching the floor, claiming ‘the timing is not right‘. This fucker needs to be primaried.

    That’s enough news. Onto the topic du jour. When most people buy a gun, they probably put an immediate consideration into things like price, reliability, and features. I, however, am a bit different. When I see a new gun, the first thing I ask myself is ‘can I even use it?’. That’s because I am left handed. If there was ever a hobby that discriminated against left handed participants, I would imagine shooting to be just behind polo in that regard. Up until very recently, you could not even get ‘ambidextrous’ or ‘left handed’ guns. You had to simply buy a right handed gun and learn to do everything ass backwards. God forbid you needed to reach a safety at any point cause you were proper fucked. I have heard that in WW2, southpaws would leave their 1911s on the half cock notch and learn to draw and cock the hammer before firing, since the safeties on those guns could only be used right handed.

    Not exactly what I had in mind when I did the GIS, but I’ll take it.

    Things have gotten much much better in the last few years as gun companies realize there is a whole 20% of the market they could be servicing better. Even 7 years ago when I started seriously getting into guns, there were only a handful of companies that made ambidextrous handguns. Now just about every single brand has a left hand friendly model. Even Glock’s newest generation has an ambi slide lock and a reversible magazine release.

    This does not mean that everything is awesome, however. The handgun market might be very lefty friendly at this point, but the long gun market still has much to be desired. Let’s take one simple example. Say you wanted a 9mm rifle. Most of you would simply go online, buy a Kel Tec Sub 2000 for around $350, and call it a day. Not quite so simple for me, however. You see, the Sub 2K has a right hand only safety and mag release. I could probably learn to use them, but if I am going for competition use those extra few seconds add up. This means I have to look at guns 2 to 3 times more expensive just to get the features that I need. I either have to build a custom 9mm AR or I have pony up damn near a grand for something like a CZ Scorpion Evo. That is a significant price bump just because I was born this way. Revolvers are similarly problematic because 99% of them are completely right handed. I know of one company making a very small number of reversed 38s for southpaws, but that’s it.

    It isn’t just boutique guns that suffer from this problem. Let’s look at the ubiquitous AR-15 platform. Aside from the trigger, there are three controls on an AR: The charging handle, the safety, and the bolt release. All of these are inherently right handed. If you normies wanted to buy an AR, you could go and get the cheapest thing from Palmetto State or Radical Firearms and be happy. Lefties don’t get off so easily. First, I would have to change out the safety. That’s a minimum of $20. Then I have to add an ambi mag release. Another $20. I also need a BAD lever. 30 bucks. Finally, I need an ambi charging handle. The absolute cheapest I have ever seen one is $40. Add that up and you are looking at an extra $120 just to use the gun. Mind you these prices are the bare minimum. It is not uncommon to pay $50 for a good ambi safety, $50-$100 for a lefty mag release, and $80+ for a charging handle. You can see how quickly this stuff adds up.

    The place that really gets dirty for lefty shooters are bullpups and bolt action rifles. By design these guns are not ambi friendly. You have to go for one hand or the other, and since most people are right handed, most guns are as well. I do not own a single bolt action rifle for this very reason, and up until the Tavor was released I didn’t own a bullpup, even though I love bullpup rifles. The Tavor can be set up for left or right handed operation, but in order to make mine a lefty I had to pay an extra $200 and ship the gun out for a conversion. Not cheap or convenient.

    I think the worst part about all of this is that there are ways to make guns more lefty friendly. Companies simply don’t do them. Top break revolvers have been around for centuries but they are basically nonexistent today. Ambidextrous bullpup designs are starting to proliferate but they are still in the minority. To my knowledge there has never been a bolt action rifle that could be swapped from left to right handed operation (trust me, I’ve looked). Just about the only place ambidextrous design is in vogue is the handgun market, which is kind of silly because the handgun is probably the easiest weapon to learn to use weak handed.

    I am sure there are some of you out there reading this rather incredulously. Waah, poor Vhyrus was born a freak and the world won’t change to accommodate him. And you’re right. This is a minor gripe. A textbook first world problem. That is exactly what’s wonderful about our country in [current year]. Things are so good I can bitch that my military grade death rifle isn’t user friendly enough. Compared to disease, starvation, war, slavery, oppression, and everything else going on, this is a giant nothingburger. So, in reality, this rant is actually glowing praise of our society in disguise. But, I still want my left handed guns dammit, and I sincerely hope that the ambidextrous trend for gun makers continues to build. Because as it is now, the kids are definitely not all right.

  • Review – My Antonia Imperial Pilsner by Dogfish Head

     

    I typically don’t buy from this brewery.  For some reason they think rather highly of themselves despite the fact they produce exactly one beer, an IPA.  They just make it with a varying amount of hops, which means they get to sell them in packs of 4 for what might normally be the price of 12.  Another reason I avoid them?  They reside in a state whose most famous resident is a bit of a creeper and likely would be considered a racist in a sane world.  That day was different and I picked it because Imperial Pilsners aren’t all that common and I remembered a book I read in high school with the same name.  

    My Antonia is a tale that begins when Jim, the novel’s main character, meets a woman by chance on a train that happened to have a mutual friend named Antonia.  Jim and his contact agree to exchange a memoir of sorts of their experiences with Antonia.  The novel is intended to be Jim’s submission to his contact on the train.  This makes the novel an unusual read because it is not written to follow a discernable plot line, rather it is a collection of “books” from Jim’s point of view.  Jim was orphaned at the age of ten and goes to live with his grandparents in Nebraska; the first book begins on a train to Black Hawk which also has the Shimerda’s, a Bohemian immigrant family with a daughter slightly older than Jim, as passengers.  It is obvious from the start that Jim has a thing for the Bohemian girl next door. 

    Her family just so happens to live on the property adjacent to his grandparents.  Later, Antonia meets Jim by a creek, where she inquires on several pronunciations to certain words in English.  As a token of her appreciation, Antonia offers Jim a gift.  The entire scene is broken up when her father awkwardly arrives and gives Jim an inquisitive look.  This language barrier comes up repeatedly as a plot device as the Shimerdas are constantly screwed over by another Bohemian immigrant from whom they purchased their property.  Jim and his family to their credit were always willing to give them a helping hand.  Ironically, Jim’s grandparents had a bilingual farm hand, Otto, who could’ve solved most of these language issues but didn’t even bother because he happens to be Austrian.

    I was 14 when I read this book, and even then, I questioned why the author wrote Otto in as a character or even made him a German speaking character at that?

    Antonia herself seems almost bipolar, depending on the season.  Eventually her father kills himself because nobody in Nebraska wants to hear him play his violin, Jim goes to Harvard and becomes a lawyer.  Academics for some reason think of this as a tale of “the west.”  It is your typical coming of age story written by an early 20th century feminist.  

    Predictably, the male protagonist, in a book full of terrible sexual metaphors–fails to score.  

    At least, I would have remembered if he did, but to be honest I didn’t finish the book. It is unclear whether Jim’s contact on the train sends her manuscript, further giving the reader the impression that Jim is an archetypal beta-male of some sort.  I imagine him penning this manuscript for a random lady on a train, reminiscing about a girl he once knew while naked on a cold New England evening.  Rewriting it numerous times because of the unreadable black streaks from the tears wiped away from his parchment.   

    Right…the beer. As you can tell from what is not my photo, is not quite amber in color.  It has a nice foamy head with some citrus notes.   Saaz hops which are Czech in origin are extremely prevalent, which makes no sense because the girl is not from that region.  Wouldn’t Hallertau or any German variety be more appropriate?  People notice details like this, Dogfish, and I only grade on a five-point scale.   The Saaz hops leave a dry aftertaste on the back of the tongue.  I like that they chose to go with the original Czech style, rather than the German styles that Americans are accustomed to, but for the most part these aren’t all that different.  The Imperial Pilsner variety is of course similar to any Pilsner style lager, with the obvious contrast of an insane amount of hops tossed in the mix.  The hop’s assault on your palate is reminiscent of this Czech SWAT team.

    https://youtu.be/ygGEpl0EJRw

    This video is fitting because why arm a tactical team only with pistols?  Why name a libation like this after a book?  

    Bottom line, this book sucks and under no circumstances should you take anyone seriously that says otherwise.  The beer however, is good.  I give it a solid 4.2/5.

  • Firearms Friday: Ballistic Babbling

    In the beginning, there were many weekly articles. Weird Wednesday, Manly Monday, Thicc Thursday, Fur Friday. How the march of time has taken it’s toll. Now all that’s left is Jewsday Tuesday and yours truly. If this is some literary version of Highlander, if there can be only one, let that one be FIREARMS FRIDAY!

    That's a gun he's holding. Honest.
    THE GLIBBENING!

    Okay, now that I got that out of my system, I have no idea what to write. So I’m just going to babble.

    I guess the big news is that Glock’s newest updates, generation 5, have now hit the shelves. Notable are the lack of finger grooves, the flared magwell, and the ambidextrous slide stop. I’ll have to check these out once I find one in the flesh.

    Pmags have been officially adopted by the Air Force following a series of tests that showed they outperformed the .mil brand by a wide margin. Huh, a private company outperforming it’s public sector counterpart? Unheard of!

    Don’t mess with Texas. They have shotguns.

    So it turns out this happened. I really don’t know what to think. On one hand it obviously wasn’t necessary, on the other hand… flamethrowers are definitely a credible and imminent threat. I’ll let you guys discuss.

    This is also a thing now. Trolls make the world go round.

    Apparently there is a new system in place that should slash wait times for NFA items like silencers. Sounds great and all, but frankly my dear I don’t give a damn. I will not give one peso to the government for infringing on my rights. Fuck you, repeal the NFA.

    I appreciate a company willing to make fun of itself. In that regard, apparently I do not buy enough CAA products.

    https://youtu.be/e6MzAWciAqo

    And finally, let me play you the song of my people. I may have posted this before, but I’m lazy, so take it again, bitch. And put your ass into this time.

    Okay, that’s all I got. I’ll be around to answer questions, so ask and ye shall receive.

  • Sunday Midday Sharing Thread

    So a bunch of the Founders were sitting around the campfire in Sloopy ‘n’ Banjo’s waterlogged garage drinking, swapping stories, singing campfire hurricane party songs late last night, and the drunken conversation eventually turned philosophical, as it will, and we began to ponder the larger questions…

    Does OMWC have any of the cool retro confections like Candy Cigarettes, Bit-O-Honey, Wax Lips or Atomic Fire Balls, and, if so, what are the odds he’s been hoarding it since his own misspent childhood?

    Is SugarFree’s Pit of Depravity truly bottomless?

    Will jesse.in.mb ever post another Manly Monday or are there no Real Men left out there?

    You get the idea.

    But I’m a bit more practical, myself. I want to know Things That Are Useful. And given that I am a realist, I believe that you, Dear Glibertariat, have been cheating on us. And I want answers.

    Yeah, yeah, you love us best, those other sites and social media accounts mean nothing to you, you’ll always come back to us in the end, yada yada. Come on. I know the guilt is eating you alive.

    This is your chance to come clean, to clear the air, to finally just put it all out there for everyone to see. (Not you, OMWC. Just put that thing away already.)

    We invite you to share your other website loves, the social media accounts and news sites you always check out, the YouTube channels –um, maybe not your faves Heroic Mulatto– where you spend entirely too much time mesmerized. Fun stuff, serious and reflective commentary, your own blog, social media accounts or photo sharing sites. It’s all fair game in this judgment-free thread.

    Come on, open up. Let us in and you’ll never have to tell a new website that we just don’t understand you.


  • Coffee & Prohibition

    “Please sir, may I have some more?”

    I love coffee. I’m drinking a hot cup while I pen this article. Roasting and grinding coffees from around the world is my hobby. Experimenting with different brewing methods in search of the perfect cup of Joe is my holy grail. I even researched planting my own coffee trees here in Orlando so that I could experience the whole process from soil to cup. A hero of mine, Heriberto Lopez, had the same idea in 1985. Mr. Lopez, who owned a coffee plantation in Venezuela, came to the United States so his son could receive treatment for a rare heart condition. He gambled some of his family fortune on growing coffee in south Florida, so that he could work in the U.S. while his son got the treatment he needed. The experts said it would never work. Heinz Wutsher, a researcher with the U.S. Department of Agriculture laboratory in Orlando said, ”I think the whole thing is a crackpot idea.” Well you know what? They were right. It failed. Coffee grows best in the bean belt, 25 degrees north, 30 degrees south latitude. Florida is technically in the belt, but has a deficiency of mountains on which to plant coffee. Mr. Lopez and I had our caffeine fueled dreams thwarted by geography and economics, but I still enjoy learning about coffee. Reading “Uncommon Grounds” by Mark Pendergrast, I was horrified to learn that coffee had been prohibited in various countries at different times. Why ban a harmless drink? Who could be so cruel? Don’t they know coffee is the elixir of Life? Well my friends, let us dive into when, where and why coffee was banned in history.

    1511, Kha’ir Beg, the governor of Mecca, was cruising past a Mosque and saw some dudes getting their caffeine on so they could do some endurance praying–much like some of you would do with Mountain Dew and an all night Dungeons and Dragons session. Beg got bent out of shape for some reason, so he banned coffee under the power given to him by the Koran prohibiting wine. I know you are thinking, “How in the hell is coffee, a stimulant, anything like wine, a depressant?” I’m sure the Saudis were thinking the same thing. So Kha’ir goes to some local Persian doctors, the Hakimani brothers, and buys some expert testimony. The Hakimani boys claimed that coffee was harmful and had no legitimate medical use–a conflict of interest since coffee was used as a natural, inexpensive cure for depression as opposed to whatever expensive pharmaceuticals they were selling. Finally, the Sultan of Cairo stepped in because people were getting cranky without their morning coffee, and declared governor Beg had exceeded his authority to ban coffee and the people rejoiced. Happily, Kha’ir was caught embezzling money and was executed. I guess he skipped the part in the Koran about stealing.

    Continuing in the 16th century, the next group anxious to wield the banhammer are the Italians. Christian Europe had been brawling with the Muslim Ottomans since 1591 and were a little salty. The Pope’s advisors wanted to ban coffee as the “bitter invention of Satan” because the drink was popular with the Turks. Ironic, considering coffee was banned in Mecca less than one hundred years before. Pope Clement the VIII requested a cup so that he may see what all this devilry was about and declared, “This Satan’s drink is so delicious that it would be a pity to let the infidels have exclusive use of it.” The Pope also believed that coffee was less harmful than alcohol and thus blessed the bean. Thanks to the Coffee Pope, modern Italians are free to sip espressos while riding vespas saying, “Ciao.”

    The 17th century saw a new Muslim anti-coffee zealot, this time in Constantinople. In 1623, Murad IV claimed the throne of the Ottoman empire, famous for making little couches you put your feet on. So Murad quattro was a new king and usually you become king by screwing people over and crushing dissent. Coffee has been blamed/credited with fueling rabble rousers, as the king was aware. In fact, one of the HQs for planning the American Revolution took place in the “Green Dragon,” a coffee house in Boston. Americans switched to coffee from tea because screw England, and the founding fathers would drink caffeine and write kick-ass constitutions. Back to Constantinople, Murad knew coffee angers-up the blood and fuels revolutions so he banned coffee. Turns out, people really love coffee and kept drinking it despite the first offense: catching a beating. Second timers got sewn into a bag and thrown into the Bosphorus. Even with these severe punishments, Murad still had no trouble going undercover with his big ass sword, surprise beheading people he caught drinking Java. The ban ended when Murad decided to have a one man drinking contest and died of alcohol at the ripe old age of 28. Maybe he should have had coffee instead.

    Coffee-making paraphernalia in Coffee World museum near Cairns.

    Moving into the next century, 1746 Sweden not only banned coffee, but coffee paraphernalia because people were abusing coffee. I don’t know how you abuse coffee other than by leaving a pot of coffee on a burner until it turns to tar. Gustav the third, king of Sweden, ordered a pseudoscience twin study to prove the harmful effects of coffee. One twin drank tea, the other coffee. They didn’t wait around to get the results because the twins lived into their 80’s. So the Swedes sent goons around anyways, kicking in doors and smashing coffee pots and confiscating coffee beans for evidence (totally not for them to consume or resell). Shockingly, people continued to consume coffee in spite of the ban. Eventually the Swedish government decided enforcement was unmanageable and repealed the bans in the 1820’s. Today Sweden has one of the highest per capita coffee consumption rates in the world.

    Another jerk from the 18th century is Frederick “the Great” of Prussia. In 1777, Fred was concerned that coffee consumption was cutting into the beer profits. Beer was a local product so profits stayed in Prussia. Coffee, being an import good, caused money to flow out of the country. So he proclaimed coffee banned and told the proles to go back to drinking beer for breakfast. In true Top Man fashion, nobles were allowed to continue to drink coffee. Fred liked to drink his coffee made with champagne instead of water, in true baller fashion. Rappers take note, that is how you stupidly waste money. Drinking a hot champagny cuppa in front of the people you are telling don’t drink coffee doesn’t inspire people to respect the ban. I thought ordering a bunch of Germans to drink beer for breakfast was an easy sell, but Fred screwed it up somehow. Freddie had to rescind his order and allow the Prussians their coffee.

    An article about coffee prohibition wouldn’t be complete without mentioning America, the largest coffee market in the world. Multiple attempts by moral scolds and busy bodies to shut down coffee have been mounted, but, luckily for us, they have all failed so I won’t bore you with the details. However, one man was moderately successful in cutting into American coffee consumption, C. W. Post. Post was not a mentally stable person, to put it mildly. He believed in all the quack cures of the day and Grandpa Simpson diagnoses. C.W. suffered from nervous breakdowns and became
    student of John Kellogg, another cereal Barron, that taught him the dark arts of healthy eating to cure his imbalanced humours. Kellogg was a Seven Day Adventist and shunned caffeine and advised C.W. to give up coffee. C.W. became a titan of the breakfast food world because he was the first to understand the power of advertising. He spent a tremendous amount of money pushing his health foods on the public using clever ads that weren’t always completely true. Post started an ad campaign warning about the dangers of coffee and how it is basically killing you every time you take a sip. Unbeknownst to the public, C.W. couldn’t start his day without his big mug of bean juice. That didn’t stop him from telling everyone else to drink Postum, the coffee substitute made from wheat bran, wheat, and molasses. Bizarrely the slogan of Postum was “There’s a Reason.” I guess that did something for the chumps of the 20th century because they bought the stuff. Postum sales surged during WWII as coffee was diverted to the front lines, because nothing kills Nazis better than a conscripted 18 year old with coffee jitters and a M1 garand. If you would like to try this
    abomination of a drink, you can still purchase Postum on Amazon.

    21st century America has not banned coffee, thank the Coffee Pope, but we do have prohibition of drugs. The arguments for caffeine prohibition of the past are the same arguments used to prohibit drugs today: “The money flows out of the country;” “ It makes God angry when you use an intoxicant;” “Undesirables use it and listen to music I find offensive;” “ It causes crime and dissent among the masses;” “Drugs have no legitimate medical use.” These arguments are as hollow now as they were 500 years ago and the banners are as big of hypocrites as ever. Three out of our four past presidents are known to have used drugs and yet happily continued the war on drugs. The true reason for drug prohibition is power and that is one hell of a drug. Currently in the 103rd year of drug prohibition, America has been slow to reverse course, but public opinion is changing and that is what ultimately lead to the reversal of coffee prohibition in Mecca, Sweden, and Prussia. So the next time you’re in the breakroom having a cup of coffee with a coworker, share what you have learned about the tyrants that banned the drink they are enjoying. Maybe you’ll help turn the tide of public opinion.

  • Firearms Friday: Recalls and Recalibrations

    After a week off, I’m back on the beat. There really was nothing of import going on last week in the gun world. My what a difference seven days make! Lets get right into it.

    Glock also gets a well played for this post. Everyone’s a comedian.

    The first big story is that the Sig P320 apparently gets a little shooty if you drop it. So shooty in fact that Sig has temporarily halted production while they sort things out. You may recall that this particular firearm (or, more specifically a very close derivative thereof) was recently chosen as the successor to the Beretta M9 for the primary sidearm of the US Army. According to Sig, the military versions do not suffer the same problems, and Sig is releasing a free ‘voluntary upgrade’ on Monday for all current P320 owners that will put the civilian models on par with the Army guns. You may also recall that yours truly happens to be one of the suckers people that bought said pistol. I actually did my own drop test on my gun and managed to drop it twice onto my back patio without it going off. I would have tested it more but it’s really not that easy to intentionally ruin a $500 gun you paid for yourself. In any case I will keep you up to date on the story as it develops.

    The second big story also involves in the military, but in a more direct way. The US Army is apparently going back to it’s ex, cause it has officially released a solicitation for a 7.62 caliber battle rifle to replace the M4. They claim this is because the proliferation of modern body armor has led to the obsolescence of the 5.56mm round currently used. Now, I have never been in the military but I do know that 7.62 weighs a lot more for both the rifle and the ammo. I don’t know where or how they plan to make up the weight difference between the two loadouts, but I have a feeling they don’t either. Any of our local military experts want to weigh in on this?

    Oh yeah, and then there’s this epic troll making the rounds:

    Well played, asshole customer and/or employee. You win this round.

    I also think I figured out a way to get Juvenile Bluster into guns. Maybe John Titor too. Stay weird and under-sexed, Japan. We like you just the way you are!

    HM, please come get your kid. 

    I will leave you today with some sage words from the wise(and lovable) Clint Smith.

    P.S.: Tiny Guns.

  • Life and economics on an escort forum

    This may not be a fully appropriate subject on such a family friendly blog, but I think that information gleaned on an escort forum can give some minor insight into markets, human nature, and general understanding of the economy, which might explain why libertarianism makes little headway in the world – not that this is some great mystery.

    I have to start this by the unambiguous disclaimer, which goes without saying, that not me, but a friend of mine, visited an online escort forum over a period of time, for purely economics and psychology research purposes. An in-depth look at such a website, like many other forums, to be honest, can be seen as a microcosmos of a lot of what goes on in general society.

    But wait! Escorting is very illegal in Romania. A reasonable person might ask: why is there a forum for something that does not exist? So, lo and behold, the first bit of insight, based on the very existence of the forums, and the quite significant activity involved, is that maybe, just maybe, prohibition might not always work. It may be that, perish the thought, extensive black markets fill the void. Black markets with the works, full option if you will, organized crime, dangers for both buyers and sellers, shoddy product. I, myself, am shocked. I need my smelling salts right now.

    Of course, as any fool knows, and by fool I mean libertarian, the market, black or otherwise, has always been here and always will be. The market is a generic term for human economic interaction; it is a fundamental expression of human nature. Government may screw with it, but won’t get rid of it. So where are we at this point? Well, we have established at least one thing: there is a market for sex (and even married men use it, to the chagrin of certain Catholics who visit this fair blog). And where there is a sale, there is ehm… information asymmetry let’s call it, which needs to be addressed. Quality control is the name of the game and was usually done, I assume for thousands of years, through let’s say word of mouth.

    Enter the mighty internet, which makes things a lot easier and a lot … harder at the same time. How does one quality control the quality control information? The internet has too much stuff and nonsense. Like in all markets, there is false advertising – this may come as a surprise, but not all the pictures on escort sites are of the actual escorts. A rule of thumb (or finger, if you will) would be: if it looks too good to be true, it probably is, or you can’t afford it. This is where reviews come in, but many of them are as false as the picture. Look at it this by way of analogy, if you can’t trust a yelp review what can you trust?

    Reputation on such a forum is required for both escorts and reviewers. This works up to a point, but not fully, as trusted reviewers may not be so trusted, and often end up asking for free or discount service in exchange for good reviews or by threat of bad reviews. There is also a noticeable presence of personal taste and subjective preference (ass > tits fyi), which need to be accounted for when evaluating reviews. Like in all markets.

    Quality control also has a stronger ethical component than usual, due to the inherent issues in the industry. Despite the ‘all escort customers are filthy exploiters” rhetoric, many are quite aware of sex slavery, trafficking, and pimping, and are quite actively trying to avoid such situations. It is often hard to tell, and obviously there are hits and misses – more so than if the biz was legal and upfront – but people do try. There is also the ever-present possibility of underage escorts, which most avoid like the plague, or better said avoid like 10 years in prison. There are a lot of STDs to watch out for, the risk of getting robbed as part of the deal, and much more, making a trustworthy review system essential.

    Beyond reviews, many escorts – or their respective pimps/madams – come to engage with customers on the forums, which sometimes lead to actually improved services. It seems there are escorts out there who are not trafficked or forced by various bad circumstances to offer this particular service, but choose this activity for a variety of their own reasons and want to do a good job at it. Of course, the real problem is, in fact, capitalism, which causes people to need money and as such do various things for it. In socialism, we all know, everyone would be rich and happy and poor women would not need to sell sex for cash. But alas, we do not live in the wonderful socialist utopia but under the heel of filthy capitalist pigs. But this is not the purpose of discussion.

    To sum up: the situation somewhat works. Could have been a lot better if legal, obviously, but it is what it is. Baptists (Orthodox really but the principle stands) and bootleggers (politicians on the take). Until now, this is nothing anyone didn’t know. For me, a more interesting aspect was to observe how truly economically illiterate people are, how entitled and how assholish they can behave, which explains a lot about the greater world. This is most visible when it comes to price.

    The usual deal is kind of like this: new girl in the business (or, you know, a dude, whatever floats your boat really, I did not research this, as I have heard that going to male escort websites can make you catch the gay and become ultra-gay yourself, a risk I am not willing to take). As many a beginner in a field, there is entry level price, lower than one may want, to get initial customers. If the service is of adequate quality, the number of customers increase and, drum-roll, so does price. Supply and demand, how does it work? No one knows, apparently.

    If one can get higher prices for product, in any field, one usually tries to do so. Escorts also want to carefully manage the number of customers, due to many reasons. And, to be fair, if there is one damn thing one should be able to set whatever price on, it is this, the basic human right to fuck who you want in whatever conditions you want. If the price is too high, demand dries up and signals the need for it to be lowered. Markets, man, they freak me out. Pretty standard stuff, you would think. And you would be dead wrong.

    With any and all price increases, the whinging starts, presumably by people who routinely go to their boss each year and demand a higher salary.  After the complaining, anger rears its ugly head. Of course, not by all forum members, obviously, but by a sufficient number (I have decided I do not have sufficient disclaimers in my posts). There are, I noticed, 3 main types of reactions.

    The most amusing by far it’s not fair reaction. Why does something I want cost more than I want it to cost? Why should I pay more? I don’t want to pay more! It’s not fair! It really is not! And no, I am, sadly, not joking. It’s not fair!

    The second is pure rage directed to the escort. How dare she, that good for nothing, filthy, goddamn whore. Who the hell does she think she is? As her superior, why I should get to fuck her for whatever price I want. This bitch needs to be taught a lesson. And so on and so forth. Waves of messages full of insults from people who seem to have a remarkable amount of time to spend on this subject.

    The third is anger at the other customers. Why it is clear that if all you goddamn morons would not pay, these escorts would not charge that much. Which, I used to think, is a meaningless truism. Every price is something people are willing to pay for. If people were not willing to pay top dollar for prime real-estate, why, it would not be so prime. Which, well, duh. But this is how the world works. People want something, they are willing to pay extra to get it. Who wants it more pays more. And some people will not afford it. Thems be the breaks.

    Amusingly, the very same people, before the price raise, complain about long wait times. This escort is impossible to book! Well, high demand, limited supply, prime real estate, Economics 101. And so, prices move towards and ever changing never reached equilibrium point.

    This in the end tells you a lot about the world. People entitled to get what they want for what price they want it, and unlike on escort forums, in the wide world these people can do something about it. That something being give power to some asshole or other who promises to address their grievance. Because it just isn’t fair.