Glibertarians.com 2017 Archive

Category: Recipes

  • Belly Up to the Bar: Diet Buster Edition

    White Russian Milk Shake

    (it brings all the boys to the yard, and then gets them white-girl wasted)

    All right so I’m sure we’ve all seen the Big Lebowski and are familiar with a classic White Russian*:

    • 1 part coffee liqueur (we all know it’s Kahlúa)
    • 2 parts vodka
    • 1 part heavy cream (variants include half-and-half or whole milk for those watching fat intake…hopefully that doesn’t include any of you)

    My school newpsaper editorial staff used to get hammered on these the night before copy was due. Someone would bring in a handle of vodka and a gallon of whole milk and we’d shoot for the Ballmer Peak, and aggressively miss.

    As time passed, I realized that a great opportunity was being missed for maximal fat-assery and I set out to combine the deleterious effects of both alcohol and ice cream in (probably not) new and (definitely) exciting ways.

    You will need a decent blender, milkshake/malt mixer or food processor for this to work.

    Put your Kahlúa coffee liqueur and vodka in the freezer, buy a vanilla ice cream made from a custard base (eggs should be an ingredient). You want it to be a rich, dense ice cream, but not as rich and dense as Häagen-Dazs. I’ve experimented here so you don’t have to, the frozen vodka keeps the densest ice creams so solid they don’t blend, but isn’t able to keep the cheaper air-beaten stuff–like Dryers/Bryers or heaven forefend a 5 quart pail of generic–thick. I’d recommend Double Rainbow or Trader Joe’s house brand (potentially the same thing).

    Exact proportions are for suckers here. Put as much ice cream as you want in your blender, add as much coffee liqueur as you prefer and turn the thing on. Add in enough vodka to achieve a Frostee consistency (with a high fat ice cream and very cold vodka it’s more than you’d expect) and serve.

    Start or restart your diet the next day.

    *jesse.in.mb. would like to extend his sincerest apologies to those triggered by the terms “White,” “Russian,” or “classic” in any combination, as well as those who are lactose or A2 protein intolerant, alcohol intolerant, alcoholics, diabetics, fattasses,  averse to coffee and alcohol in the same place at the same time, or averse to dairy and alcohol in the same place at the same time.

     

    Derpetologist’s Spot the Not – Bands with Wacky Names

    1. The The

    2. Full Throttle Aristotle

    3. Barney Rubble and the Cunt Stubble

    4. Satanic Clown Orgy

    5. Hitler Stole My Potato

    6. Gee That’s A Large Beetle I Wonder If It’s Poisonous

    7. Iron Prostate

    8. Jehovah’s Witness Protection Program

     

  • Belly Up To The Bar: Going Ape edition

    “Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!”

    Ah, Chuck Heston… If anyone needed a nice stiff drink more than Taylor, I’d hate to be that poor bastard.

    I first made this as a goof for a party, but we all decided it was so damn tasty it went into our regular rotation. And, yes, you will have to buy a bottle of Créme de Banana, but it is worth it.

    The Planet of the Apes

    2 oz dark rum
    1 oz pineapple juice
    1 oz orange juice
    1/2 oz lime juice
    3/4 oz créme de banana

    Shake together with ice and serve up in a martini glass or over large chunks of ice in a whiskey glass. Fresh juices are highly recommended.

    And avoid the temptation to go with Myers, the dark rum of many a frat boy’s nightmares. Appleton Estate VX Jamaican Rum is my go-to for any dark rum application.

     

    Derpetologist’s Spot the Not: Mitch McConnell

    Slightly less challenging version of Spot the Not

    1. Nobody is happy about losing lives but, remember, these are not draftees.
    These are full-time professional soldiers.

    2. We need to strengthen and save Social Security for today’s workers.
    If we don’t act now, this system, born out of the New Deal, will become a bad deal.

    3. The problem with the world today is people have put away their Bibles.
    They’re living by the law of the jungle and not the law of the land.

    4. We all know that Social Security is one of this country’s greatest success stories in the 20th century.

    5. The Patriot Act is one of the most important and overdue pieces of legislation in a generation.

    6. Under ordinary circumstances, I would have opposed such a measure.
    Government intervention in the marketplace cuts against all my ordinary impulses. But this was not an ordinary event.

  • Belly Up To the Bar

    Cocktail of the Week by Riven 

    Other varieties not pictured: lemon, cranberry, peach, sweet tea, orange, and unflavored.

    So, my prelimary internet research tells me that this cocktail goes by a few different names: Ruby Red Mule, Austin Mule, Grapefruit Mule, etc. They’re all fitting since it’s basically a Moscow Mule made with a flavored vodka instead of your standard, boring vodka that aspires to taste like nothing.

    This is the brand of flavored vodka I recently discovered at the liquor store (where they greet me by name almost every Saturday) and subsequently fell in love with. I’ve only tried two flavors–the lemon and the grapefruit–but they’re excellent. I’ve found they go well with the mixers I tend to have on hand–various bubbly flavored waters–but other folks reviewing them online say they’re also tasty just diluted with a bit of water over ice. I prefer my mixed drinks to sparkle, but that’s just my preference. The company is Austin-based, so you can buy them knowing you’re supporting the good, ol’ U.S. of A.

    Anyway, here it is. I mix this directly into a copper mug on a kitchen scale because I’m precise AF like that.

    2 ounces / 60 grams of Deep Eddy Ruby Red

    4 – 6 ounces / 120 – 180 grams of your favorite ginger beer

    All the juice from one quarter of a ripe lime, and I ain’t kidding about all the juice, neither.

    Give it just a short stir so you don’t lose all of the bubbles, and that’s pretty much it. You can’t tell if you serve it in a copper mug, but it is really quite pretty if you serve it in a glass mason jar like some kind of redneck or hipster. Of course, being self-respecting menfolk, I’m sure most of you would prefer not to showcase to the world that you’re drinking some kind of pink, girly drink, but this really is very tasty. I’m going to be drinking plenty of these on my deck this summer; well, these and other Deep Eddy concoctions, anyway!

     

    Spot the Not by Derpetologist – famous women on Clinton breaking the glass ceiling

    1. Now, it’s up to us to elect Hillary Clinton, perhaps the most experienced presidential candidate in history, to the White House where we need her to be.

    Faceless men and nasty women

    2. There’s so much more women need to accomplish to feel like we have arrived in American culture. Hillary Clinton’s nomination is hopefully the beginning.

    3. She’s strong, smart, bold, and kind. She’ll be an amazing president. It’s time for a Mrs. President, and I can’t think of anyone better than Hillary Clinton.

    4. I feel a tremendous rush of pride because this is a woman who is more than qualified to be president. Isn’t it interesting how a barrier seems insurmountable — until it comes down? I hope girls across the country are thinking, “That could be me.”

    5. I won’t say that I never thought I’d see the day when a woman would be nominated for president, because as a feminist, a mom and a leader of a national women’s organization, I knew this day would come. But I’m particularly proud that it is Hillary Clinton who is making history today.

    6. When Clinton graciously committed herself to campaigning for Obama and unifying the party, I was sad yet proud. When she made her 18-million-cracks-in-the-glass-ceiling speech, I wept. She will be a great president who will do her best to unite the country. I wish her the goddesses’ speed.

  • Belly Up To the Bar

    Cocktail of the Week by SugarFree – The South Side

    The sublime South Side is as easy drinkin’ as it gets and a crowd-pleaser; interesting enough for the fussy mixologist and tasty enough for the “but I don’t like gin” twits. I prefer Hayman’s Old Tom gin for this application, but any gin will do. Or vodka for the sorority girl in you.

    South Side

    2 oz gin
    .75 oz lemon juice
    .75 oz lime juice
    1 oz mint simple syrup
    1 oz club soda
    1 mint leaf

    Lightly bruise the mint with a muddler, mix everything together and serve over ice. Or omit the soda water and shake with ice and serve up.

    Mint Simple Syrup: 

    Small batch: combine 7 grams of mint leaves, 1/4 cup sugar, and 1/4 cup water, bring to a boil and then strain when cooled. Yields 3 oz of syrup.

    Large batch: combine 42 grams mint leaves, 1 1/2 cup sugar, 1 1/2 water, bring to a boil and then strain when cooled. Yields 18 oz syrup.

    I include the large batch of the syrup because the real magic of the South Side its ease of scalability. For large parties where you need to not be chained to the bar mixing drinks or small parties where you are looking to get everyone extra hammered, the South Side is well-suited for mason jar cocktails.

    South Side – Mason Jar

    One 1/5 of gin
    9 oz lemon juice
    9 oz lime juice
    12 oz mint simple syrup
    10 oz club soda
    10 mint leaves
    10 8oz Mason jars

    Mix and split between the mason jars, placing a mint leaf in each. Store in a cooler with clean ice and encourage guests to top off the jar they take with ice.

     

    Spot the Not by Derpetologist – Quirky Sci-Fi Writers

    1. He never brushed his teeth, and they were literally green. Deeply embarrassed by this, he developed the habit of holding his hand in front of his mouth when speaking.

    2. He was gaunt with dark eyes set in a very pale face (he rarely went out before nightfall). For five years after leaving school, he lived an isolated existence with his mother, writing primarily poetry without seeking employment or new social contacts.

    3. He wrote over 117 novels and over 2000 short stories, but his works were used only as filler material in pornographic magazines. He committed suicide by drinking Drano.

    4. He hated flying and only flew twice in his life. He rarely traveled long distances.

    5. His mother was warm but changeable of character and had an identical twin who visited them often and who disliked him. He was unable to tell them apart and was frequently coldly rebuffed by the person he took to be his mother.

    6. He has a reputation for being abrasive and argumentative. He has generally agreed with this assessment, and a dust jacket from one of his books described him as “possibly the most contentious person on Earth”. He has filed grievances and attempted lawsuits; as part of a dispute about fulfillment of a contract, he once sent 213 bricks to a publisher postage due, followed by a dead gopher via fourth-class mail.

  • Yummy Chili for the Spawn

    By But I like cocktails and lurking

    If you have a house full of children or grandchildren and don’t have a lot of time, this should do the trick. My grandfather called this ‘cowboy stew.’

    I have no idea why.

    1 pound ground beef
    1 12 oz bag of frozen chopped onion
    1 tablespoon chopped garlic or 1 teaspoon powdered garlic
    1 package of chili seasoning for 1 lb of beef
    1 capfull of Zataran’s liquid crab boil
    1 teaspoon ground cayenne (if you like hot)
    1 beef boullion cube
    1 -28oz can of chopped tomatoes
    1 -10oz can of Rotel tomatoes
    1 -15oz can of whole kernel corn
    1-15oz can of seasoned black beans or ranch style chili beans (go with the black beans)

    Corn chips
    1 bag pre-grated cheddar or Mexican mix cheese

    This is a very simple chili /not chili that you can toss together in a few minutes. The only real effort required is to brown the beef. If browning it in a skillet is troublesome to you, then get a microwave cooker/drainer for meat or just put it in a covered microwave-safe bowl in the microwave. If the beef is frozen, then 1 lb takes about 4 minutes on high. If not frozen, 2-3 minutes. If that doesn’t do it, repeat at 1 minute intervals until all of the pink is gone. Drain it, chop it in the bowl with a spoon, and mix in the chili seasoning.

    Put the cooked, seasoned meat in a pot. Dump in all of the other ingredients willy-nilly. Turn heat up to medium high until the mix boils. Turn down to simmer and cover. Stir occasionally. When the onion is cooked to clear it is done. Start to finish this should take less than an hour.

    Serve in a bowl over hand-crushed corn chips (I like restaurant style chips, some people prefer Fritoes). Top with grated cheddar or Mexican mix cheese. Don’t wear a sombrero when you cook or eat this. It is Tex-Mex, not Mexican. Cowboy boots are OK.

    If you are slopping your young spawn with this leave out the cayenne. I don’t, but they love it anyway.

    For all of you non-bean chili people there is no insult, nothing I can say, that will punish you as severely as a life without black beans in your chili.

  • Belly Up to the Bar

    Cocktail of the Week – The G & T and a Guilty Pleasure by RC Dean

    I have noticed a number of gin and tonic fans in the glibertariat, to the point where some of you actually make your own tonic from scratch (quelle artisanale, non?). I thought I was being hardcore by not using store-bought tonic and going with syrup-n-soda water tonic, but dayum, it honestly never crossed my mind to make it from scratch. I know some homebrew tonic recipes have been bandied about already; I would appreciate it if you could repost in the comments here.

    Gin and Tonic

    3 oz. gin (I’ve been using The Botanist, but its probably overkill and I could get away with something a little less expensive/refined).

    6 oz. tonic water (my preference for store-bought is Fevertree Indian, but its been at least a year since I didn’t do the home-mixed version).

    Splash of lime, lime garnish optional.

    For store-bought tonic, pour everything over ice in a highball glass. The proportions aren’t critical here.

    For home-mixed, grab a handy measuring glass, add gin, tonic syrup, lime, top off with soda water from your trusty siphon (or add seltzer or soda water from a can or bottle), pour over ice in a highball glass.

    I like the Liber Spiced Tonic Syrup, but there’s a bunch of them out there I haven’t tried. Now that we are getting into the summer season (when RC likes him some G & T), I’ll probably order some other brands and do a little experimenting. The Liber is strong – for the recipe above I use around ¾ ounce, and I suspect ½ ounce would be fine. If you’ve never had anything but Schweppes, this will be almost unrecognizable – pronounced bitter flavor, some body (of all things in a mixer), and a lot of flavors going on.

    I live in Arizona, where our summer drink season is long. I find that I lose my taste for Scotch in hot weather and even for rye or bourbon to some extent, and I drink mainly gin, rum, and tequila cocktails. We’ve already covered some of my favorite rum and tequila cocktails, but there is one more Casa Dean regular I have to put out there: the Jack and Coke. We use Mexican Coke made with cane sugar, which delivers a better drink. Mexican Coke is not hard to find in Arizona – I actually get mine at the local hardware store.

    But seriously, RC (you’re undoubtedly thinking), Jack and Coke? Frankly, it’s a nostalgia thing. Mrs. Dean and I both remember these from our high school and college days, and nothing takes you back like the tastes and smells of your youth. Cocktailing is about enjoying a drink, about whatever works for you. Gearing up, adding some showmanship, all that is fine if you have fun with it; if you just like to keep it simple and cheap, well, de gustibus, my friends. You can call my Jack and Coke a guilty pleasure, but when it comes to cocktails in my book, there’s no such thing as a guilty pleasure.

    Calvados update: I snagged a bottle of the Berneroy XO. Not as refined as the Busnel Vielle Reserve VSOP, with more of a kind of pronounced winter apple flavor. For something like this, though, a little more rustic isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

    Spot the Not: Lyrics from National Anthems by Derpetologist

    1. What the alien power has seized from us, we shall recapture with a sabre

    2. So we have taken the drum of gunpowder as our rhythm and the sound of machine guns as our melody

    3. He who is a true man is not frightened, but dies a martyr to the cause

    4. Oh God, bless our bullets, bayonets, and grenades

    5. The path to glory is built by the bodies of our foes

    6. How can this fiery faith ever be extinguished by that battered, single-fanged monster you call “civilization”

    7. Let us all fight, every one of us, for our black country

    8. And if we have to die, what does it really matter?

    9. Countless fighters died for our beloved people

    10. Facing the enemy’s gunfire, march on!

    11. There sat in former times, the armour-suited warriors, rested from conflict

    12. Do not fear a glorious death, because to die for the motherland is to live

  • Ah!! Delicious, Delicious Cultural Appropriation

    By But I like cocktails and lurking

    I have mentioned before that there are five Mother Sauces in French cooking. One of those is Tomato Sauce, or Neopolitan Sauce. There are many, many variations on this one as anyone familiar with spaghetti sauce, lasagna, ketsup, or salsa knows. Today I want to talk about a tasty French/Indian/Spanish fusion we in Louisiana call Sauce Picquante (sauce peekahn). It has a unique flavor that, unless you know a couple of simple tricks, can be hard to obtain. It is going to be the base for a stew called (whatever meat you use) sauce piquante, in this case chicken and sausage sauce piquante. If you read my gumbo recipe, you will find this is very similar and equally easy.

    Probably not the best method, starting out.

    A sauce Piquante is essentially a fancy roux. Instead of starting with flour and oil, we use a little oil and tomatoes. The tomatoes can be in the form of tomato paste, sauce, canned tomatoes, or fresh peeled and chopped tomatoes. Put 12 oz to 16 oz in a skillet over medium high heat. Mash them and stir them around until they boil, just like the basic roux, until they start to cook down. As the water evaporates and the tomatoes thicken they will also start to brown but you want this to happen slowly. Again, if it smokes or blackens, you have the stove too hot. As it thickens, it will become tomato paste and brown. When it gets to be the color of milk chocolate, add in an equal amount (4-6 oz) of ordinary dark roux and mix well. There you have it. A sauce piquante is a flour/tomato and oil roux – what some would call a tomato gravy.

    My sister-in-law makes an excellent sauce piquante by mixing the flour into the tomato, then adding oil, and browning both simultaneously.

    If all of this sounds like too much work for a base, then I will let you in on a little secret. Tomato paste is made by cooking tomatoes down, putting them into a can, and then steaming the cans to pasteurize them for preservation. This process often browns the tomatoes for you. You may have noticed that some canned tomato paste is brownish in color. That isn’t oxidation from a leaky can, it is cooked tomato. We want it like that.

    If the paste is not already browned or browned enough straight out of the can, you can add a little oil and brown it very quickly in a skillet. Or not. It is nearly there anyway.

    Sauce Piquante in Five Minutes

    1 Six ounce can of tomato paste
    ¼ cup of dark roux (bought ready-made)
    One 12 -16 oz bag of frozen seasoning mix (onion, bell pepper, celery)
    One cube of beef boullion
    1 tablespoon of minced garlic or 1 teaspoon of powdered garlic
    1 teaspoon of Zataran’s liquid crab boil
    1 teaspoon of ground cayenne pepper
    Dark chicken (8 boneless, skinless thighs or 4 leg quarters)
    About 2 lbs of Andouille sausage ( ¼ inch slices)

    Place all ingredients in a large stock pot. Just toss them all in willy-nilly. No need to mix or stir. That will happen when it boils. Add water until the level covers the meat, cover with a lid, and bring to low boil for one hour. Stir occasionally. Put away your ingredients and wash whatever dishes you have.

    Serve over rice.

    The easy way to make rice.

    – Get yourself a microwave rice cooker. It is a simple plastic pot with a snap-on lid and a vent. It only costs a couple of bucks. To make your rice, put two cups of water, one cup of rice (basmati best), two chicken bouillon cubes, one and a half tablespoons of butter, and about one tablespoon of dried, sweet basil in the pot. Microwave on high for 15 minutes.
    You can taste the rice but don’t let anyone else taste it before serving the meal. They will eat all of your rice right out of the cooker.

    You can put this together and get it boiling in just five minutes with little effort. It has a very unique flavor and is hearty and satisfying. Outside of Louisiana, I have never had anything like it. It is the perfect dish for cold days or just plain ol’ hungry people. Be careful that no one overeats to the point of not being able to get up from their chair.

  • Belly Up to the Bar

     Cocktail of the Week – Polar Vortex

    Another ginger beer treat this week (last one – I promise). The funny thing is, I practically never used ginger beer until a few years ago, when I got into some authentical Dark and Stormies, decided to make them at home, and discovered the superiority of small batch ginger beer (Maine Root) and “home-made” (Pickett’s and soda water). When I saw how good ginger beer could be, well, I just couldn’t keep my hands off of it. Can’t recall where I originally ran across this, but its a regular at Casa Dean.

    As with the Dark and Stormy, there are a couple of ways to go at this – ginger beer out of the bottle, and make-your-own ginger beer.

    This beverage as seen from space (Thanks NASA!)

    3 oz. rye whiskey (can’t go wrong with Bulleit or Rittenhouse )
    1 teaspoon Amaretto, maybe a little less (honestly, I don’t have a brand preference here)
    1/3 oz lemon juice
    6 oz. ginger beer (see the Dark and Stormy linked above for your options)

    I use rye for just about any whiskey-based cocktail, even if the recipe calls for bourbon or similar. I just like the way it mixes, it seems a little smoother and a better neighbor for the other ingredients. The short teaspoon of Amaretto doesn’t seem like enough to make a difference, but it adds a nutty sweetness that is right at home with the ginger beer. The lemon juice kind of opens and brightens up the drink (yes, I have unintentionally made this without lemon juice or Amaretto, so I know whereof I speak). I’ve tried it with lime juice, and it just doesn’t work as well – for some reason, lime juice works with tequila or rum based ginger beer cocktails, but not this one.

    Anyhoo, this is a highball, so grab a big enough glass, pour the ingredients over ice, and you’re done.

    Pictured: the only calvado image that this site could afford

    During our discussion of sippin’ likker, KSuellington recommended Calvados (apple brandy from Normandy) in the comments. Holy crap, is that good stuff. I grabbed a bottle of Busnel Vieille Reserve VSOP and have been working it ever since. Good cognac is very nice, but its not on my short rotation (partly, admittedly, due to cost), but I find cognac to be a little thin and “hot” unless you spend truly impressive amounts on an XO. This Calvados stuff, though – nice body, just the right alcohol heat, and a deep complicated apple/pear thing going on. If I lived in Normandy, my liver probably would have exploded by now.

    Which raises another issue: glassware.

    Generally, I am fairly indifferent to the glass used for a particular drink. As long as its pretty much the right size, I’m good. I do have Scotch glasses (umm, actually, three different kinds, but two were gifts, OK?), and I do think Scotch is better out of purpose-built glasses than a plain rocks glass. I actually use a Scotch glass for most anything I drink neat. But brandy (and this proved to be true with Calvados) is notably better out of a proper snifter. Can’t explain it – when I tried the Calvados the first time, I used one of my Scotch glasses – very nice. Next time, I used the brandy snifter, and it just opened up and became a very close friend. Plus, for the true plutocrat fashion statement, nothing pairs with a tophat and monocle better than a brandy snifter.

    Spot the Not: Sonia Sotomayor

    President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden escort Judge Sonia Sotomayor to the East Room of the White House where the President will introduce her as his nominee for the U.S. Supreme Court to replace retiring Justice David, May 26, 2009. Vice President Joe Biden looks on at left. (Official White House Photo by Chuck Kennedy)<br /> This official White House photograph is being made available for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way or used in materials, advertisements, products, or promotions that in any way suggest approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House.
    The Honorable Sonia Sotomayor

    1. Whether born from experience or inherent physiological or cultural differences our gender and national origins may and will make a difference in our judging

    2. The Latina in me is an ember that blazes forever.

    3. I have a very close relationship with my sister. My sister is a precious jewel.

    4. I had no need to apologize that the look-wider, search-more affirmative action that Princeton and Yale practiced had opened doors for me.

    5. My diabetes is such a central part of my life… it did teach me discipline… it also taught me about moderation.

    6. I am a product of affirmative action. I am the perfect affirmative action baby. I am Puerto Rican, born and raised in the south Bronx. My test scores were not comparable to my colleagues at Princeton and Yale.

  • How to Get Laid Every Sunday Morning

    By But I like cocktails and lurking

    Sauces and stocks are the foundation of good cooking. For any quality construction a good, solid foundation is necessary. In French cooking there are five basic sauces and from those countless other sauces are made. They are called Mother Sauces. One of those is unique in that it is a stand-alone sauce. I am talking about Hollandaise sauce. It is considered the most difficult sauce to master, by far. It requires lots of practice, a double boiler, time, careful timing, and lots of attention.

    Except it doesn’t.

    You can easily whip up a perfect Hollandaise in under ten minutes with almost no equipment. Five if you are practiced.

    Place one half of a stick of salted butter (4 tablespoons) in a 2-cup glass measuring cup. Put in the microwave and heat on high for 15 seconds. You should be able to see some of the butter has melted, usually leaving a hole in the base of the stick. If some of the butter is still cool place back in the microwave on high for five seconds. Continue doing this at 5 second intervals until the butter is about half melted and half soft-solid. Swish it around and mash it up a bit with a small whisk. If the bottom of the glass measuring cup feels warm – around body temperature or just above – you did it right. If it feels hot, even slightly, you have heated too much, in which case you can let it cool.

    Place two raw egg yolks, one tablespoon of lemon juice, a pinch of cayenne pepper, and a pinch of allspice in with the butter. Whisk vigorously. After a few minutes the mixture should start to look a bit lumpy. Don’t worry. Ordinarily this would mean you have ‘broken’ the sauce, which means your butter was too hot and has cooked the egg yolk. If you heated the butter to body temp or just above, the mixture will look this way but will not be broken. Keep whisking. After a minute or two it will suddenly go from slightly lumpy to creamy smooth. It should cling generously to your whisk when you lift it.

    Congratulations – you have made a perfect Hollandaise in less time than it takes to brush your teeth. It should have a very tangy, buttery, delightful taste. This will be enough sauce for four eggs. I start my eggs in a skillet, make the hollandaise and set it aside, and then start microwaving the bacon. I put the English muffins in the toaster, and go back to flip the eggs. It should all be ready about the same time with the sauce waiting – 15 minutes start to finish.

    For a Sunday morning breakfast, spoon the hollandaise generously onto a toasted half of an English muffin. Place one fried (or poached) egg on top of that. Salt and pepper the egg. Serve with bacon or sausage and orange juice. You have whipped up a fancy Eggs Benedict breakfast for your significant other. I promise they will appreciate it.

    *Hollandaise is an excellent sauce for putting on cooked vegetables, particularly for asparagus. Cook your asparagus in chicken stock until tender, top with the sauce and pepper to taste.

  • Once You Go Black…

    By But I like cocktails and lurking

    I am not a big fan of beans, or at least I didn’t used to be. Then I discovered black beans. I never cook with any other bean. They are less grainy, more flavorful, and heartier than other beans. They just have more substance. They can make a stand alone meal, a side dish, or compliment any main dish. Let us explore the magic of this under appreciated hero of the bean world.

    Black Bean Dip

    Not as tasty as this recipe.

    1 15oz can of unseasoned black beans
    3 strips of bacon microwaved just short of crispy (3 minutes on high then 30 second intervals until done)
    1/3 sweet onion
    2 chicken boullion cubes
    ½ teaspoon crushed garlic
    ½ teaspoon ground cayenne pepper

    Pre-grated cheddar cheese
    Fresh chopped tomato
    Sliced pickled jalepeno

    Put all ingredients into a blender or food processor. Blend on high until it has a smooth consistency. Use a silicone spatula or spoon to scrape into a small oven-safe dish. Bake at 350 for about 30 minutes or until you see bubbling. It is essentially re-fried black beans made in ¼ the time.

    Top with grated cheese, chopped tomato, chopped fresh red onion, and a few jalepeno slices. Dip with corn chips.

    This is a recipe for two people. Double if you have more people. My wife and I will whip this up, usually on a Sunday evening, sit in front of the TV and watch a movie while we eat. It makes quite a satisfying meal.

    Bean Dip As A Compliment

    If I make a taco salad, enchiladas, tacos, nachos, or any similar dish, I use the black bean dip as a foundation for all of the other ingredients. I simply spoon it onto the shell/tortilla before putting the meat on. It is a wonderful complimentary flavor.

    Black Bean Soup or Black Beans and Rice

    Put all of the same ingredients into a pot. No processor this time. You can put one pork neck bone instead of the bacon if you like, otherwise slice the bacon into 1 inch sections and toss in raw. Chop the onions yourself. Toss a few slices of jalepeno in. Thin with 1-2 cups of water. Bring to a boil, turn down to simmer, and cover. When the meat comes off of the neckbone easily, it is done (about one hour). Pull the meat off of the bone with your fingers and put back in the pot. Toss the bone to the dog. Serve over rice. If you thinned it down with water to a soup, serve over rice in a bowl. If no rice, then with Ritz crackers or corn chips. If you left it thick enough, you can spoon over rice on a plate. This can also be served as a nice complimentary side dish to any non-soup main dish.

    Very little effort and time is required for these recipes and the payoff is sweet.