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  • Best Damn Fruitcake Recipe on the Interwebs

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    I love fruitcake. My grandmother was quite a remarkable baker, so I never had the horrible commercial fruitcake that many of my friends grew up with.

    This recipe is a compilation, but is the absolute best I’ve ever had, mainly due to the long maceration of the dried fruits and the ripening. Theoretically, it would have been better to start this right after Halloween for Christmas consumption, but it’s still possible to make it for New Year’s Day, if you don’t dawdle, but longer ripening is better. Oh, and the first step takes a week. Hop to it!

    This makes about 4 standard loaf pans, but you can adapt it to any baking vessel. Just make sure you keep an eye on it and don’t over bake.

    Properly attended to, fruitcake can be stored safely for literally years. We recently finished eating the last fruitcake of my batch from last Christmas. I store my fruitcakes in the wine cellar and bathe them with alcohol throughout the year.

    Best Damn Fruitcake Recipe on the Interwebs

    Give up on all other versions. This is the one you need.

    • 2 cups pitted dates
    • 2 cups candied lemon rind
    • 2 cups candied orange rind
    • 1.5 cups dried apricots
    • 1.5 cups dried figs
    • 1.5 cups candied cherries
    • 1.5 cups candied pineapple
    • 1.5 cups candied citron
    • 1 cup crystallized ginger
    • 3 cups raisins
    • 3 cups dried currants
    • 2.5 cups Grand Marnier
    • 3 cups Cognac
    • 2.5 cups flour
    • 1 tsp. baking powder
    • 3 tbsp. cocoa powder
    • 1 tsp. ground cloves
    • 1 tsp. ground cinnamon
    • 1 tsp. ground mace
    • 3 tsp. powdered instant espresso
    • 1 lb. butter
    • 2.25 cups dark brown sugar
    • 9 eggs
    • 1.25 cups molasses
    • 6 cups pecan halves
    • 6 cups walnut halves
    1. Using a large knife, chop the dates, lemon rind, orange rind, apricots, figs, cherries, citron, and ginger. Place in a large bowl and add the raisins and currants. Pour 1/2 cup Grand Marnier and 1 cup cognac over the ingredients in the bowl and stir to mix well. Allow to rest in the refrigerate for a week.

    2. Preheat oven to 225. Grease 4 or 5 standard loaf pans. Line with parchment baking paper. Grease the parchment paper.

    3. Sift the flour, cocoa, cloves, cinnamon, mace, and espresso powder to combine.

    4. Cream butter and brown sugar; beat until fluffy. One at a time, beat in eggs, making sure each is fully incorporated before adding the next.

    5. Add dry ingredients and molasses a bit at a time, mixing well. Don’t worry if the mixture seems to curdle. It’s fine. Transfer batter to a very large bowl.

    6. Stir in marinated fruit mixture with the marinade, and nuts.

    7. Distribute batter into prepared pans. Press down to eliminate any air pockets. 

    8. Bake about 5 hours or until a toothpick inserted into center comes out clean.

    9. Remove cakes from oven and allow to cool for at least 30 minutes. Turn the cakes out onto racks. Cool completely before proceeding.

    10. Brush the tops of cakes with 1 tbsp each of Grand Marnier and cognac. Wrap tightly in plastic wrap and allow to ripen at room temperature for one week. Each day, unwrap and brush the cakes with 1 tbsp of each of the remaining liquors.

    11. After the week is up, wrap tightly in new plastic, wrap in foil and refrigerate for several weeks before serving.

    To increase the absorption of the liquor by the cakes, poke holes in the top with a toothpick before brushing on liquor.

    Other orange-flavored liquors can be used in place of the Grand Marnier.

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  • Liens du dimanche matin (compliance with Canadian law)

    We have received complaints that this website is being read by some Canadians and thus we are required to provide some broken French rendered in a horrible accent. Likewise, I am compelled to make French toast this morning. And I’ll tell you that when it’s doused in Cognac, that’s a fine start to the day. A Midwestern take on poutine involved Tater Tots and Wisconsin cheese curds. And I’m playing some Leonard Cohen tunes. So I think we’ve managed to clear the de minimus requirements. With that out of the way, let’s look at the non-Canadian news this morning.

     

    Days of Rage in Israel and surrounding shitholes continues to be a flaccid pro-forma response. Death toll so far is claimed to be four, so we’re not even ten percent there compared to a Saturday night in Chicago. Now if you feel that the bare minimum is enough, then okay. But some people choose to do more and we encourage that, okay? You do want to express yourself, don’t you? Or… well, like Sweden, for example, has actual firebombings, okay. And a terrific smile.

     

    Global Warming- is there no end to this??? WE MUST ACT NOW!!!!

     

    This was a difficult situation. Dishonest attention-whore race-baiters civil rights leaders were all prepared to demonstrate against Trump for not being sufficiently attentive to the opening of the Mississippi Civil Rights Museum. But when he came and gave a speech, all of the signs and slogans had to be changed at the last minute from “Impeach Trump” to… “Impeach Trump.”

    Amos C. Brown, a civil rights activist who at 14 years old founded the NAACP’s first youth council, also boycotted Trump’s visit.

    “I’m very uncomfortable with his antics and policies on matters of race and justice,” Brown said. “And that’s why people felt, as I do, that his presence cheapened the occasion. It was a mockery for him to be present. He has not been involved at all in the struggle.”

    As opposed to his predecessor, who struggled being raised in a white millionaire household and attending the most exclusive private prep school in Hawaii before struggling at the most expensive and exclusive Ivy League universities.

     

    Jerry Brown is being Jerry Brown. Wildfires in California is “the new normal.” Because they’ve never had them before and it’s shocking that the desert is dry. Say… didn’t they just have floods? And snowflakes as well:

    At UC Santa Barbara, smoke from the Thomas fire drove Student Body President Hieu Le to write a letter to Chancellor Henry Yang, asking that classes be canceled until the air quality improves.

    Lee has received more than 4,000 petition signatures since Thursday, backing him up. Many students wrote that their throats hurt and that they were having trouble breathing and focusing.

    “Students and staff should not have to choose between their health and money and/or grades,” one student wrote. “The response from the university has been unacceptable.”

     

    SP fondly remembers her first ride in my van, when I told her we were looking for my lost puppy and gave her some Reese’s. Well, it’s now time for an upgrade.

     

    Obligatory Old Guy music. We were at a terrific concert last night up in Milwaukee. Given the demographic, the mosh pit was a hoot, what with all the walkers, Rascals, oxygen tanks, and flailing canes. Never mind, here’s a delightful piece from one of my favorite Austin bands, whose members are decidedly not old.

  • STEVE SMITH SATURDAY EVENING LINKS

    STEVE SMITH HELP SELF TO RV…BY HELP SELF, MEAN RAPE OCCUPANTS AND TAKE BEER COOLER. IT WAS HARD WEEK, AND STEVE SMITH NEED TO RELAX. SO HIM DRINK WHAT WAS IN COOLER. IT WAS THIS:

    STEVE SMITH MAYBE DRINK ONE TOO MANY…

    NEXT THING STEVE SMITH KNOW, HIM HAVE TWO WOMEN CAMPERS ON HIM. STEVE SMITH HAVE NO CHANCE SAY “YES”, OR TAKE CHARGE AND RAPE CAMPERS…THEY …ACT FIRST. STEVE SMITH NOW HAVE METOO# STORY.

    OF COURSE, STEVE SMITH GET OVER IT, AND RAPE EVERYONE IN RV LOT AND SLAM REST OF CANADA BREAKFAST BEER… DO CANADAIANS DRINK STRONG STOUT FOR BREAKFAST? STEVE SMITH WANT PARTY WITH CANADAERS! IF CAN FIND MORE BOTTLES… IN MEANTIME, HAVE SOME LINKS!

    • STEVE SMITH WONDER IF THIS MEAN AMERICA NO GET MORE ….HUMMUS AND REFUGEES? DEARBORN, MI HARDEST HIT?
    • STEVE SMITH LAUGH AT FAT LITTLE IRAQI “FIRST SOLDIER“. THINK HIM NOT WADDLE INTO FIGHT. REMEMBER HIM RUN YEARS AGO AND HIDE IN IRAN.
    • STEVE SMITH THINK PERVERSE INCENTIVE AT WORK HERE. YOU KNOW WHAT IT TAKE FOR STEVE SMITH TO THINK SOMETHING PERVERSE?!?!?!
    • STEVE SMITH NOW THINK OHIO TOO WEIRD FOR HIM VISIT.

    STEVE SMITH HEAD SPINNING…REALLY LIKE CANADAINIAN BEER!

  • On The Home Stretch- NFL Week 14

    In just four weeks, the 2017 NFL regular season will be in our rearview mirror, never to trouble us again. It hasn’t been one for the ages. Stupid culture war skirmishes sparked by an unemployed quarterback made us all long for the days when “Raider Fan Stabs Charger Fan” was the usual pre-game news of note. Big-time household name-type players got knocked out early. No one who remained threatened any major yardage, touchdown, sack, or interception records. The last unbeaten team of the year proved equal to the task of losingAnd the Cleveland Browns are preparing for yet another tour of duty as pallbearers. (Hopefully the deceased will be comforted, at the hour of his death, with news of Donald Trump’s impeachment)

    But back in February, the Patriots proved it was possible to overcome a bad start and win. And for the next four weeks, there’s time enough to see something special. With not a single playoff spot yet clinched – though four divisions might be by Sunday night – anything is possible.

     

    AFC WEST

    Oakland @ Kansas City – the losing skid ends here

    NY Jets @ Denver – never go full Jets

    Washington @ LA Chargers – the snowball rumbles down the hill

    What’s the difference between mediocrity and parity? This division represents mediocrity; the NFC South represents parity. Here we have three teams at .500; the top three teams in the NFC South are playing .600+ football.

    Who could have foreseen this? A year ago, the Chiefs and Broncos were formidable; the Raiders, a young team on the rise. Carolina was suffering Super Bowl hangover, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers were the next big thing in the NFC, the Saints had played three straight 7-9 seasons. The Chargers were coming off 4-12 and 5-11 campaigns. It’s safe to say that no team in either division (nor the divisions themselves) has met expectations. Yet by the end of the year, the power of hindsight will make it all seem as though it played out according to script.

    AFC NORTH

    Baltimore @ Pittsburgh – your 2017 AFC North champs

    Chicago @ Cincinnati – *reviews match-up; vomits*

    Green Bay @ Cleveland – please end this cartoon

    I know the dreaded Browns are in the same division, but is there another team more worthy of a good blow-it-all-up-and-start-overing than the Bengals? Marvin Lewis has been coaching this team since two thousand motherfucking three. How does a guy without a single playoff win in seven tries keep getting chances? There have been four Super Bowl appearances in this division during that span, exactly zero of which have come from the Bengals. Just get rid of everybody. Lewis, you’re out. PacMan Jones, you’re a pain in the ass – go. AJ Green, you’re the best player no one knows anything about – go to the Cowboys or Patriots or Packers so you’ll get some well-deserved publicity. Andy Dalton, prove to the world you can still be a good QB without that #18 crutch you’ve got. Matthew Stafford did it, why not you? Ugh. I’ve had it with the Marvin Lewis Bengals. Your eyesore uniforms and your dirty players and your shit-the-bed Januaries are just so old and tired. You’re a TV show nobody liked that much to begin with going on for five extra seasons. You’re a Golden Corral buffet. You’re a salt water pond on an acre of grassland in the flattest part of a landlocked state.

    AFC SOUTH

    Tennessee @ Arizona – the Cards are going to hang around the playoff picture until the end of the year

    Seattle @ Jacksonville – Wilson’s escapability will negate that Jags pass rush

    San Francisco @ Houston – Jimmy Garoppolo, meet Matt Cassel

    Indianapolis @ Buffalo – the Bills will be in next year’s playoffs

    Jacksonville and Tennessee have been wheel-to-wheel since the season began, and there’s no reason to think that won’t be the case come December 31. On that day, the Jags and Titans will play in Nashville for the division title. Jacksonville is effectively a game behind since they lost the first matchup in week two. The loser of the division title will likely claim a wild card berth, so 2017 will see the end of two long playoff droughts (2008 for Tennessee, 2007 for Jacksonville). Congrats to you both, you boring-ass franchises with funky uniforms in small markets!

     

    AFC EAST

    New England @ Miami – your 2017 AFC East champs

    NY Jets @ Denver

    Indianapolis @ Buffalo

    In 2001, 2003, and 2004, the Patriots won the Super Bowl, becoming just the second franchise to win three Super Bowls in four seasons. (The Cowboys won in 1992, 1993, and 1995) If the Patriots win the Super Bowl this year, they’ll be the only franchise to pull it off twice and the second to win six Super Bowls.

    NFC WEST

    Philadelphia @ LA Rams – should be a dogfight

    Seattle @ Jacksonville

    Tennessee @ Arizona

    San Francisco @ Houston

    Seattle still has a shot to win this division, but it’ll be the last one they’ll see for a while. Ditto Arizona and San Francisco. The Rams are going to own this thing for the next few years.

     

    NFC NORTH

    Minnesota @ Carolina – Carolina’s running game isn’t good enough, especially against these guys

    Detroit @ Tampa Bay – in the event anyone cares

    Green Bay @ Cleveland

    Chicago @ Cincinnati

    Rest assured that if Minnesota does make it to the Super Bowl, the “first team to play the Super Bowl at home” angle will be driven into the ground within 24 hours of the end of the NFC title game. It’s already getting old and it hasn’t happened yet.

     

    NFC SOUTH

    New Orleans 17 @ Atlanta 20 (F – 12/7)

    Minnesota @ Carolina

    Detroit @ Tampa Bay

    See AFC WEST comment.

     

    NFC EAST

    Dallas @ NY Giants – see Detroit-Tampa Bay…or any other game for that matter

    Philadelphia @ LA Rams

    Washington @ LA Chargers

    Why the Cowboys have fared so poorly compared to last year? Here’s what people say: Sean Lee is back to his old so-good-when-healthy-but-he’s-hardly-ever-healthy ways. The pass defense gives up too many touchdowns, doesn’t intercept many passes. Defenses are figuring Dak Prescott out. The whole Zeke Elliott thing.

    How about Dez Bryant ain’t what he used to be? No one seems to be pointing that out.

    Dez Bryant was a monster from 2012-14. 88, 92, and 93 catches. 1200, 1300 yards per season. Double-digit TDs, including a league-high 16 in 2014. Catch percentage above 60% every year of his career, except for 58.5% in 2013, for the first five seasons of his career. He was up in the stratosphere with the likes of Antonio Brown, AJ Green, Julio Jones, etc. Well, in the three seasons since that 16 TD season of 2014, Dez has caught 16 TDs total. His catch percentage has plummeted: 43.1% in 2015, 52.1% in 2016, and 53.5% this year. His yards per catch were very good a year ago at 15.9 – he’s down to 11 this year. Maybe Dak Prescott would have had fewer struggles this season given the Dez Bryant of old.

    Bryant broke his foot in 2015, limiting him to nine games that year. It could well be that this very injury is leaving its mark on the rest of his career. It’ll be interesting to see if Odell Beckham Jr.’s broken ankle will prove detrimental to his own future.

    PICKS

    Week 13: 12-3

    Total: 90-58

  • De-winefying Beer

    Because there are times when you are stuck in a place that has nothing better.  Maybe you are at a baseball game and don’t want to look like a douche.  Maybe you are in Vegas and they give you a free beer while you play the craps machine. You are principled and thus your favorite beer is called, “free” and your second favorite is called, “cold”….

    ….okay maybe beer is beer and maybe we should just leave it at that.  Why fuss about it?  

    This is my review of the only beer on the planet with the balls to have George Clooney narrate a commercial:  Budweiser.

    Just to get this out of the way, these have a mean score around 2/5 on my usual 5 (or 20-DenverJ)  point scale. So these need to be scored differently but judged in as objective a manner possible.  All of these:

    • Quaffed in high quantity; available in 24oz cans and sold as part of a 2 for 1 special.  Yes, I drank 48 oz of beer in one sitting for each specimen.
    • Have no pretense of cultural significance.  All are available at a gas station, specifically the CircleK in my neighborhood (PV/Shadow Mountain area of Phoenix).
    • Consumed from the same glass that is not particularly fancy. Don’t worry I cleaned it.
    • Nothing to fuss about, given their very minor qualities.  So these were all the only beer I had that day, following a trip to gym. I was in no position to be picky.

    They will be graded by:

    • Price.
    • Skunkiness. (5 point scale)
    • Ability to get me drunk. (5 point scale)
    • Marketing campaign. (5 point scale)

    Points will be added to the price for a total numerical score.  Lower or higher the better?  I don’t know, I will make this your call. I fully expect to be excoriated in the comments for my methodology.

    Hat Tip:

    Budweiser therefore, stacks up like this:

    Price: 2 for $3.50

    Skunkiness:  It is as terrible as it ever was. 4/5

    Ability to get me drunk: 2/5

    Marketing: GoodBad. Ugly. Like Clooney is ever going to knock back a sixer of Bud like the proles.  I’ll be fair, they are trying to make beer in space3/5.

    Total: 12.5

    Next up is Straulian fah beeeyah.

    Fosters:

    Price:  2 for $3.50.

    Skunkiness: This is…charming. 4/5

    Ability to get me drunk: 2/5

    Marketing: I always thought these were funny.  Here’s a string of them.  4/5

    Total: 13.5

    Do they even sell these in six packs anymore or do they just go with the oil can? Next up, is something that meets all my criteria but unlikely to be found anywhere near you:

    San Tan Moon Juice Galactic IPA:

    Price:  2 for $4.00.

    Skunkiness: 2/5 (technically an IPA–score is debateable)

    Ability to get me drunk:  My wife was ever so pissed. 5/5 (7.3% abv)

    Marketing: 0

    Total: 11

    This might be unfair since it’s an IPA but it met all the criteria. Next up:

    Gilmore

    Coors Light:

    Price:  2 for $3.50.

    Skunkiness:  3/5

    Ability to get me drunk:  Meh.  My daughter can handle this. 1/5

    Marketing:  John Wayne?  Okay, but Clint Eastwood was better.  *shudders* John Denver You lost all the goodwill from CGI Duke and The Gunny, Coors.  This is what makes people light their own country music awards on fire.  You should get less than nothing for this, but my stated methodology said nothing about negative scores.  Then there is Smokey and the Bandit, but that classic of Americana loses points for Sally Field.  1/5

    Total: 8.5

    This next one was actually pretty good.  New Belgium supposedly sought to steal market share from InBev and MolsonCoors brands by making a yellow lawn mower beer to counter the corporate giants buying craft breweries and distributing them across the country.  The result is like that scene from Casino where Joe Pesci’s character gets mad about the FBI watching him, so he literally has his guys watch them back.  It’s a pretty good golden ale. Nothing to write home about and definitely non-threatening.

    Who doesn’t want to get blazed in the middle of the day?

    New Belgium Dayblazer:

    Price:  2 for $4.00.

    Skunkiness:1/5

    Ability to get me drunk: 3/5

    Marketing: 0

    Total:  8

    Next is one that I haven’t touched since college.

    Rolling Rock 33:

    Price: 2 for $4.00

    It works on so many levels.

    Skunkiness: I thought this was going to suck.  I am not totally wrong, but I will not admit it. 2/5

    Ability to get me drunk: 2/5

    Marketing:  Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.  Oh my god. LMAO.  The ball.  Hits the groin. 3/5

    Total: 11

    Now, I happen to like Amstel, ever if they cannot spell beer correctly, so I’ll give them a shot.

    Amstel Xlight:

    Price: 2 for $4.00

    Skunkiness: I am not sure they know this market.1/5

    Ability to get me drunk: 2/5

    Marketing:  Cute. 2/5

    Total:  9

    Sorry, I need to stop here.  There are several others that span a spectrum between Corona and Colt 45, but quite frankly…I do not like you guys enough to continue drinking like I am homeless.  Have a good weekend.

  • Saturday Morning Clean and Sober Links

    I got my 8 Hour Pin from AA, which I feel is a major accomplishment. I think I’ll have some Irish coffee to celebrate. While I mix that up, here’s some fun news stories for you kind folks to discuss.

    First up, this wasn’t a matter of “if,” it’s a matter of “when and how many.” We all knew this was coming, so to speak. Too bad, this was one of the very few really good judges out there and someone I would have liked to have seen on the Supreme Court.

    Speaking of the Supreme Court, this was an unsurprising decision. Shocking, I know- if a president unilaterally creates an agency or program without legislative support, then his successor can just as unilaterally terminate it. But… but… every goodthinker knows that it shouldn’t be true when it’s Lightbringer programs being ended by the Orange Menace. It’s no secret that I am not a fan of Trump, but his continual unraveling of Obama’s “legacy” is certainly a point in his favor. And I say that as someone who very much supports a much broader allowance of immigration- it’s not the outcome that I like, it’s the exposure of the inherently corrupt legislation by the executive absent congressional action. You want a program that isn’t temporary? Great, get congress to legislate it. We have a constitution, in theory.

    The Day of Rage has largely turned out to be a Day of Going Through The Motions.

    Rioting broke out in some 30 locations in the Palestinian territories, according to the military, which said 3,000 Palestinians participated in the West Bank. As night fell, the demonstrations had mostly dispersed.

    …In Jerusalem, demonstrations were limited in scope and dissipated quickly, and some Palestinian residents expressed resignation, along with contempt, about the U.S. move.

    I may have found the most hilariously stupid news story of the year. Look at it. Admire it. To quote SugarFree, “Holy fucking shit, that was like being riddled with dumb-bullets.” I’m not sure how you can sexually harass an inanimate object, but coming up next, an essay on how to get consent from your vibrator.

    The Pope second-guesses Jesus. Like a presidential spokeschimp, Frankie went full-on “What Our Savior meant to say was…”

    Old Guy Music time! Since we’re going to a show tonight, I was tempted to post a song from the fellow we’re seeing, but I thought, “After all this depressing news, we need something which will make people want to boogie! Even UCS!” My love of American music forms is obvious, but there’s a few I’ve neglected, and certainly Zydeco is one of them. Now, Queen Ida is more of crossover Zydeco, but still, fun fun fun. And here’s her cover of great classic song, “Jambalaya.” If this doesn’t make you want to stand up and dance, you’re dead inside.

  • New Site Feature

    May I have your attention, please.

    I’d like to direct your eyes to the right left hand side of your screen where you will see that in addition to the “back to top” arrow, we now have a “go to bottom” arrow. It should work on your mobile devices, as well as on the desktop version of the site.

    Those of you using the excellent site enhancements of Monocle, brought to you by trshmnstr and greasonable, already have some great features.

    However, for those of us using unsupported desktop browsers or mobile devices, this will make it easier to pretend we’re not reading the site during meetings, as we won’t have to scroll forever after hitting refresh. I had hoped that perhaps all you glibs would just stop being so darn long-winded and the pages would get shorter, but that doesn’t seem to be happening. 😉

    Some other improvements have been made behind-the-scenes, but this is the only one that matters to you folks!

    Enjoy!

  • Friday Afternoon Links

    Happy Friday everyone, I am still getting dug out as my work did not do itself while I was onsite with a client this week. Have a safe weekend. Especially if you are in a fire zone or (perhaps as dangerously) experiencing snow and sleet where it does not normally freeze roads.

    Megan McCardle posts a qualified defense of “whataboutism”. Which I hate because there is a difference between tu quoque logical fallacies and pointing out that the person you are arguing with is perfectly fine with an entirely analogous situation with different principal actors than the one they are attacking. But much of the, uh, formation of the Glibertarians.com site was based on a perception that TOS had taken to more “principals not principles” reporting.

    In a story full of whataboutist attacks and defenses — Roy Moore’s original accuser admits that she added the date and location to the signature in her yearbook, but claims the comment and signature are his. Clarifying my position, I think that Moore almost certainly tried to date women under the age of 18 in his 30s. I think that his blatant disregard for both law and Constitution as a state judge should be disqualifying of anyone voting for him. I think doctored evidence weakens the case that what he did in pursuit of young women (who actually appear to be of legal age to consent at the time, as far as I know) were in any way illegal. I am glad that the attempts to destroy Moore’s candidacy with these allegations have brought to light a culture of harassment in politics and media, and hope that the culture changes.

    I am unclear as to why it would be a scandal for Wikileaks to offer information to the Trump campaign. (TW: CNN) I suppose if the campaign believed that the emails were credible AND contained information that should have been confidential to approved government employees, they are probably obliged to report that those are in the wild to appropriate federal authorities. This also seems like whataboutism as both Hillary Clinton and Huma Abedin seem to have lied about disclosing the same confidential information

    From the not-giving-is-stealing files: Apple to reap $47B windfall in new tax plan. Yet, when you look at the article, that only happens if Apple repatriates money held overseas. In which case the Federal government gets $31.4B in taxes they are not currently able to collect. So the real headline is: Tax Plan nets $31B from Apple.

     

     

  • Friday Frivolity: Name that Baby Glib

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    UPDATE! The answers are:

    A. Playa Manhattan
    B. jesse.in.mb
    C. Riven
    D. Mad Scientist
    E. Swiss Servator
    F. Webdominatrix
    G. SP
    H. OMWC
    I. Banjos
    J. Sloopy
    K. SugarFree

    We have a three-way tie for first place! Tundra (who spookily got my entire family correct); egould310; and Doom (whose last minute entry and strategy worked).

    However, I have consolation prizes for everyone who had a serious entry, so the following people should all email your shipping address to sp@ this here domain, if you’d like a prize:

    Tundra
    egould310
    Doom
    Tonio
    IB McGinty
    The Other Kevin
    Yusef
    Trials & Trippelations
    RA Heinlein

    Thanks for playing everyone! Enjoy your weekend.

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    Want to win a prize?

    Match the babies below with their Glib identities. The Glibster with the most correct answers will win (as-yet-undetermined-but-assuredly-awesome) swag from our new CafePress store.

    Now, because I’m the nice one at this here website, I’m going to help you out and give you a list of names of community members who contributed baby photos…and a couple who didn’t. Your task is to sort out who is who.

    Answers accepted on this post until 2000 Central tonight. Check back then for the secret identities to be revealed!

    Ready? Go!

    Names: Sloopy; OMWC; Riven; Warty; Swiss; SugarFree; STEVE SMITH; webdominatrix; jesse.in.mb; Playa Manhattan; Banjos; Mad Scientist; SP; Brett L.

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  • Friday Morning Links

    Jeez, talk about a light sports night.  I’m sure that has a few of you super-stoked.  But I’ll cover it anyway: Everton finally won a Europa League match, although its too little-too late for Big Sam’s boys (even though he wasn’t at the match). They’re 3-0 since he was hired. That’ll be 3-1 after the Liverpool derby this Sunday. Arsenhole also won in the JV competition.  In cricket, the English media are all but giving up on the Ashes series after their guys fell into s 2-0 hole to the Aussies. And in basketball, Purdue was the only ranked team in action, and they won handily.

    Nine games on the ice last night, even though everybody’s mind seems to be on the Olympics.  The Bruins mauled the Coyotes. The Penguins skated past the Islanders.  The Flames burned Les Canadiens in OT. The Lightning struck the Avalanche. The Panthers grounded the Jets. The Blues made the Stars weep. The Flyers soared past the Canucks. The Kings trumped the Senators. And the Sharks swam past the Hurricanes.  (I had no more quips in me, so thank God there wasn’t a tenth game.)

    OK, that’s it for sports.  Here come…the links!

    Arizona Republican legislator Trent Franks the latest to resign in sexual harassment scandal. This one is weird, and if there’s no more to the story than what’s being reported, I’m not sure this is harassment of a sexual nature.  Weird, sure. But sexual? Not really.

    Brexit baby, Brexit!

    Brexit talks, which were looking tenuous at best, appear to have had a breakthrough and are looking like they might be back on track. I still don’t see what the problem is. Set up a border between Ireland and Northern Ireland and call it a day. It worked for a century just fine

    Cold-blooded murderer walks free. It’s good to be one of the king’s men. (TW: graphic stuff. I’m serious, this is some really fucked up shit and unless you want to get a raging urge to go on a rampage, you may not want to watch.)

    Cold-blooded killer and his lawyer

    Apparently the Chicago Public Schools are being run by a real shitbird. That would explain why Rahm said he fully supported him yesterday.

    If you run the FBI, IRS, DOJ, work for the feds or apparently run the Chicago Public Schools, you can lie under oath with impunity. If you do it in traffic court in Atlanta, you will go to jail.

    Bernie! and wife.

    Bernie Sanders’s wife, who is looking more and more like a younger version of Mrs Fratelli from The Goonies every day, is still under federal investigation and the feds are interviewing witnesses. I wonder why they never mention that when he gets on the air over at MSNBC or CNN.

    And I finish with a little bit of good news.

    Get to work!

    Have a great day and a better weekend, friends!