Tuesday Morning Links

Come on, man. You’re the president, not a child. Anything past medium is an affront to God

The week is off to a rousing start.  Well, it’s off to a start anyway.  Our very own Brett L’s kids kept him up most of the night, puking their guts up.  One of my kids dumped a kid’s potty full of piss on our bedroom floor. And Trump ordered a steak like a dick.  Also, some other things happened:

  • John Lewis is playing coy on whether or not he will attend President Trump’s first Capitol Hill speech.  Or he’s just keeping his name in the limelight.  You decide.
  • Police find time to participate in an elaborate wedding proposal.  Because nothing says “I love you” quite like using taxpayer money to have your girlfriend thrown in the back of a police cruiser with handcuffs on and terrify her.
    These men will not be participating in the next women’s march. Because the planner helped to kill them in a terrorist attack.

    “It’s the perfect love story for us,” Schrupp said. “Our whole family is in law enforcement. I wouldn’t expect anything less.” – paging Barfman.

  • The next women’s march is in the planning stage.  This one is gonna be more along the lines of a general strike though.  Oh, and don’t make the planner angry.  You wouldn’t like her when she’s angry
  • Bucknell University goes full retard. I don’t know what else to say that would be clever enough to capture the stupidity.  Click the link.  You’ll see.
  • DeBeers no longer has a death-grip on the global diamond market.

    DeBeers: no longer part of the conspiracy theory.

That’s it.  That’s all you get.  Half of you are gonna ignore them anyway and I could have linked to nearly two and a half hours of the best Porky Pig cartoons of all time without anybody caring.  But we love you anyway and hope you enjoy yourselves in the comments.

Comments

488 responses to “Tuesday Morning Links”

  1. Just a thought not a sermon

    1) Washington Post story today about an Australian children’s author who was detained at an LA airport for two hours. She was “aggressively questioned about her visa status,” and now “is unlikely to return.”So when I was 20, I took a trip to Hungary and on my return, at a stopover at Schiphol airport in Amsterdam, I was taken aside (detained? Not sure) and questioned for 45 minutes. The gist of the questioning seemed to point to a suspicion that I might be transporting drugs, and I suppose I fit some sort of profile. It was unpleasant, but I never made any sort of vow to never go the Netherlands again. I understood why they did it.So what makes this lady so special (and gets her on the front page of the style section of the Post?) Because she was here to speak at a conference about “tolerance and acceptance”? First of all, two hours is not a human rights violation, it’s an inconvenience. Second, if we’re going to be sticklers about visas, I’m glad it’s being enforced impartially, and that rich Australian white woman don’t get a free pass.

    1. Jesus. You were F5ing like a champ to get in there early, weren’t you?

      1. Just a thought not a sermon

        It’s refreshing that honest work results in an honest first around here.

      2. MikeS

        And he must type 150 words per minute

    2. Just a thought not a sermon

      So, my post brings up a question. Do HTML tags not work on this site? How do you make paragraph breaks?

      1. Just hit return a couple of times.

        That seems to work.

        For me.

        1. Negroni Please

          Return key? I didn’t know this place was filled with godless commie Apple users. Harrumph.

          1. Brett L

            Any key? Where the fuck is the any key?

        2. Hyperion

          Sloop, that’s top secret stuff right there, you can’t just be letting everyone in on that.

      2. Cliche Bandit

        THIS never gets old.

    3. Brett L

      JATNAS! Welcome.

      1. Just a thought not a sermon

        Thank you!

      2. Bobarian LMD

        I see that the numbering has started over?

        1. Cliche Bandit

          WHAT THE HELL? Now I have to cross reference two disparate systems with non standard indexing. JHC Do you work for my employer?

    4. Rufus the Monocled

      You’re starting over?!

    5. The Other Kevin

      Yay! You made it! (swoons)

    6. wdalasio

      She was “aggressively questioned about her visa status,” and now “is unlikely to return.”So when I was 20, I took a trip to Hungary and on my return, at a stopover at Schiphol airport in Amsterdam, I was taken aside (detained? Not sure) and questioned for 45 minutes….It was unpleasant, but I never made any sort of vow to never go the Netherlands again.

      So, basically she’s openly acknowledging that she’s engaging in a doubly standard. I guess acting like a pissy little bitch to the Dutch doesn’t offer enough opportunities for virtue signaling. Can we please make sure to never grant her an entry visa to the U.S.? I wouldn’t want her to compromise her “principles”.

    7. bacon-magic

      New number system, I like the cut of your jib.

  2. Just a thought not a sermon

    “Mirrors in Bucknell’s Swartz Hall were covered on Sunday evening in an effort to promote “body positivity” and “self-love.””

    This may have the unintended result of lowering narcissism on campus.

    1. Suthenboy

      Ha! Sure it will.

    2. RBS

      How can I practice “self love” if I can’t see myself in the mirror?

      1. With a sock, a jar of strawberry preserves and a selfie stick.

        Duh! These are basics, people.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Strawberry preserves? Philistine.

          Only peach marmalade warmed to just above body temperature will do.

    3. leonadasiv

      But how will we identify the vampires among us now?

    4. The Fusionist

      It’s no reflection on them.

      ALTERNATE JOKE: Now people will be even less likely to notice the vampires until it’s too late.

      1. The Fusionist

        oops, sorry, leonadasiv.

        1. leonadasiv

          Great minds think alike?

    5. Sour Kraut

      From the first comment at B.:

      “My husband is a marine. Pajama boys and liberals should be given to ISIS.”

      Sounds pretty woke to me.

  3. MikeS

    Speaking of diamonds, have any of you ever been to the diamond state park in Arkansas? (I forget it’s actual name) You can walk around and pick your own diamonds and keep what you find. Pretty cool. As an amateur rock-hound, I’d love to try it sometime.

    1. Hyperion

      Never been there, but found out about the kimberlite formation there back in the 70s. If I really wanted to go rock hunting, I’d go out to Montana or CO where you can find ‘stones of color’.

    2. SimonD

      Yeah, it’s called Crater of Diamonds state park. My family went once when I was a kid. It’s basically a big sand pile in which you can dig. My sister still has a diamond she found (they are obviously very low-grade, but still sort of cool).

  4. Slammer

    Bucknell fears Freddy Krueger.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      I guess they shouldn’t answer their phones then either. Or go to sleep.

    2. Mike Schmidt

      And the Candyman

      1. Was that movie any good? I remember watching it when it came out and it absolutely terrified me so I haven’t watched it since. And that’s the only horror movie I refuse to re-watch.

        I’m curious, yet I don’t want to stay up for three straight nights finding out.

        1. Mike Schmidt

          The last time I saw it was shortly after it came out, but I remember thinking then that it was pretty good. The guy who played the Candyman was scary as hell. And no, I’m not saying that because he’s black.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            The first one was well produced, had good actors, and was creepy/suspenseful as hell.

            Tony Todd

          2. Somalian Road Corporation

            I honestly got misty-eyed watching his performance on the DS9 episode The Visitor.

          3. Mike Schmidt

            Tony Todd. Yeah, thanks Bobarian. He is a good actor. And that deep voice of his can be damn creepy when he wants it to.

      2. Slammer

        And Phantasm….I think

        1. Phantasm. Thanks for that…now I will have nightmares of that brain-drill ball flying at me ….

        2. Tundra

          BOYYYYYYYYY!!!

    3. Old Man With Candy

      How are Bucknell undergrads supposed to squeeze their zits?

      1. bacon-magic

        Zit squeezing services provided by the school, duh.

  5. John Titor

    DeBeers no longer has a death-grip on the global diamond market.

    Crime thriller writers most disappointed, “Now we can’t just make some evil Afrikaans mining corporation the bad guy anymore”, says hack.

    1. UnCivilServant

      So A Diamond (Monopoly) is not forever?

    2. The Fusionist

      And I’ll never get a chance to perfect my “super fans” joke, with DeBeers instead of Da Bears.

  6. Police use taser on woman running naked with Corbin track team

    “One of the coaches saw her a couple hundred yards away I guess by the softball field. She had clothes on. He said he noticed her over there taking her clothes off and then she just started running towards the track,” Captain Coy Wilson said.

    “She was chasing these girls like growling at them, mumbling some stuff I couldn’t even understand what she was saying. It was freaking everybody out,” Eythan Sims said. Sims is on the Corbin High School track team.

    “She started chasing them or running with them. She never touched anyone or did anything,” Captain Wilson said.

    “Everybody over there ran over here immediately and they got in the field house and locked it,” Camron Sizemore said. Sizemore is on the Corbin High School track team.

    1. Brett L

      Look, I’m still stuck on the part where at least one grown ass man and a bunch of high school guys ran a-screamin from a naked woman. Were they afraid she was hiding a weapon?

      1. Drake

        I would need pictures before condemning the man. I was on the road last week and saw some scary stuff.

        1. Trigger Hippie

          +1 lot-lizard

        2. Brett L

          I ran in HS. My old coach (who was then only about 10 years older than I am now) was a tough old piece of grizzle who had no fear of 250 lb 17 year old men-children, giant dogs, and probably not even unattractive naked women. I can just hear him, “You underclassmen, keep going. L, you and numbnuts go grab your sweats and bring them back here. Let’s see what kind of dumbassery this is. All you idiots get a good look, you ain’t ever gonna a nekkid woman again, ugly as you are.”

        3. Somalian Road Corporation

          She doesn’t look pleasant in the news story photo, but she also doesn’t look like somebody that a supposedly trained adult and high school athletes would need to tase or piss their pants in fear running from… especially when according to the police “she never touched anyone or did anything.”

          1. RBS

            “she never touched anyone or did anything.”

            Just a tease.

    2. Just a thought not a sermon

      ““Everybody over there ran over here immediately and they got in the field house and locked it,””

      Why?

  7. Brett L

    have your girlfriend thrown in the back of a police cruiser with handcuffs on and terrify her.

    I mean, if she’s into that, imagine what other fun things she might be into.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      How awkward is it when you girlfriend offers to blow the cop putting her in the cruiser if he just lets her go?

      And what are the odds that the cop pretending to arrest her takes her up on her offer?

    2. Trials and Trippelations

      Shooting dogs?

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      Link didn’t work, but I usually find King Diamond too screechy.

      1. Slammer

        KingDiamond

        If that don’t work you knew what I meant?

  8. Mr Lizard

    “two and a half hours of the best Porky Pig cartoons of all time without anybody caring. ”

    But If it were Wile E coyote…

    1. UnCivilServant

      Two and a half hours of an ACME product tester at work?

  9. Juvenile Bluster

    Police find time to participate in an elaborate wedding proposal.

    How to know your husband-to-be will turn into an abusive asshole: An easy lesson

  10. Juvenile Bluster

    Peak Guardian

    “My gender didn’t exist in fiction when I was growing up, so I wrote myself into existence”

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      Does her new gender have anything to do with that sexual organ underneath her nose?

      1. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLE!

        1. SugarFree

          No, I’ve seen that before. It’s not a mole, but the keloid that results from an infected piercing.

          1. Oh. Well I’d hate to see the one on her vaginal piercing that got infected. Thing probably looks like Hope Solo.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Jesus Christ, go see a dermatologist

      1. Tundra

        Awesome avatar, Scruffy.

        1. straffinrun

          Both of your avatars make me wax Nostaligic.

          1. bacon-magic

            These euphemisms…

    3. leonadasiv

      I was about 10 and ran through a puddle of mud, deliberately covering myself all over and getting my shoes soaked, and my cousin said to me: “Girls don’t do that – boys don’t even do that.” My thoughts were, “Yes, that’s me”

      I see your problem, you think your cousin is all knowing on what a boy or girl does. Seriously though, when you present this as an example of why you are neither a boy or a girl, all I hear is “PAY ATTENTION TO ME!”

      1. Rhywun

        ^This. It’s pure narcissism. Usage of the word “queer” is a dead giveaway.

  11. John Titor

    2 Chili’s got a pretty good obit over on the Other Site about his dad, turns out they used to kick the shit out of each other when he was a teenager.

    1. Thanks for sharing.

      He’s a good writer. And that couldn’t have been easy.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        Touchy Tilly is top of my list of “Reason writers I’d want to smoke a joint or pound some wine with.”

          1. Old Man With Candy

            Yeah, that should be an and/or. I draw the line there, though; coke is nature’s way of telling you that you have too much money.

          2. Steve Son of Steve

            If that were true, my uncle would be a billionaire. Disclosure: he sleeps in an alley.

          3. bacon-magic

            He’s fixed his money problem then.

    2. Steve Son of Steve

      I’ll have to check that out. I was there yesterday and couldn’t make it past the article that was supporting the concept of universal basic income. After turning off my computer, taking an hour walk, and having a drink, I had finally decided to officially never return. I may make an exception for this.

    3. Pomp

      Thanks for the tip. I will definitely buy his dad’s Bonus Army book once it is finally available.

    1. John Titor

      1. Musk builds mass drives and/or kinetic harpoon systems in space.
      2. Musk launches them to obliterate major cities, killing millions of would-be Tesla owners and killing his subsidies.
      3. ?????
      4. Profit? Somehow?

      1. 3. Demand One hundred billion dollars.

      2. Brett L

        Repopulate the world so he has statists to keep paying for his expensive ideas?

    2. l0b0t

      Now all I can think of is the Dr. X Doomsday Telethon.

      https://youtu.be/KjzOm3V0CTY

    3. cyto

      That was silly – particularly the part about standing on the moon and “dropping” rocks on the earth – but there is something to the Bond Villain thing. Not the evil part, but the wacky, over the top stuff.

      He wanted to get a ride into space, so he talked to the Russians. When that didn’t work out, he started his own rocket company. You know, like you do…..

      He thought the Cali bullet train was a stupid boondoggle… so he sketched an idea on a napkin and started a slew of companies on a path to complete his vision. You know, like you do….

      He couldn’t get enough batteries for his car company….. so he built the largest factory in the world to produce more batteries than all the battery factories in the world combined. You know, like you do….

      He didn’t like traffic coming in to work one day… so he dug up half the parking lot at his company and bought a tunnel boring machine and sent a bunch of engineers off to figure out how to build a tunnel 1000x faster than current technology allows. You know, like you do….

      And now he’s got a billionaire who really wants to be an astronaut, so the guy pays a big deposit and he’s going to take a ride to the far side of the moon in about 2 years.

      Lots of pulling the strings of government to help him along the way have given some libertarians a bad taste. But you gotta love living in a time where this guy is operating. There have been very few people who have been able to reshape reality at this level. He’s not just seeing market opportunities…. he is creating and shaping markets that didn’t even exist.

      There was a time in the early 70’s when we all thought we’d be able to go to space one day. One day long before 2001. Then there was a long period where nobody thought “real people” would ever be able to go to space. And here comes Musk, deciding all by himself that no, our childhood dreams were right. And people can go to space. In fact, he wants to take you to Mars and beyond as regular, paying passengers. That’s just nuts. And awesome! You gotta love it when a complete nutcase can actually deliver on his fantastical bullshit.

      1. You gotta love it when a complete nutcase can actually deliver on his fantastical bullshit.

        That reminds me, SugarFree will be posting more of his writings in the near future.

        1. SugarFree

          Don’t rush me! There’s a… incubation period involved.

          1. Old Man With Candy

            The technical term is “refractory period.”

          2. Seguin

            Ah so that’s why your posts smell vaguely of afterbirth.

      2. GSL in E

        If Stalin were alive to read the tech press’s fawning coverage of Musk, he would probably think, “If Pravda wrote this about me, even I’d think it was a little over the top.”

  12. Slammer

    “Half of you are gonna ignore them anyway”

    There were links?

  13. Pope Jimbo

    I never thought I’d live to see this day. No, not a Vikings Superbowl Win (I know I’ll never see that). I’m talking Sunday liquor sales.

    The picture is perfect of an old crank who owns a small liquor store (I’ve actually been in that store and it is about as big as a convenience store) who whines about having to be open an extra day.

    “I’m really disappointed,” Burwell said Monday, around the same time the Minnesota Senate voted to kill the ban. “We’ve had a system that’s worked very well. They should have left it alone.”

    1. straffinrun

      “I’m really disappointed,” Jaworski said Tuesday, around the same time he heard of Burwell’s disappointment. “We’ve been waiting for him and people like him to die of liver failure. He should leave his lazy ass at home on Sunday and let people who want to work do it.”

    2. Trials and Trippelations

      Worst part of living in Minnesota

      1. Trials and Trippelations

        When I lived there

      2. Bobarian LMD

        Having to live next to Wisconsin/Iowa?

    3. Mike Schmidt

      Isn’t that something? It’s about time. When I lived in Minnesota I always thought it was silly that I couldn’t buy a case of beer on Sunday to take home, but it was perfectly OK to drive to the bar and drink vodka-seven’s all day.

      One thing I haven’t seen in any stories about this; are they also getting rid of the 3.2 nonsense?

      1. Pope Jimbo

        I haven’t heard anything about that, but I’m guessing it will finally die a deserved death. If you can buy real beer why would you ever drink 3.2 beer.

        I’m not even sure they have 3.2 beer joints anymore. At least, I don’t know where one is and when I grew up there used to be at least a few road houses that were licensed only to sell 3.2 beer.

        My favorite 3.2 beer memory is from growing up in a tourist trap near the Canadian border. They would come down for a 3-day weekend in the summer and not realize they couldn’t buy real beer on Sunday. So when they ran out, they’d buy a case of beer at the super market and proceed to drink it all while talking about how it was almost water. Even at 3.2 a case will get you drunk. So they’d stumble around Sunday evening joking about how weak 3.2 beer was and then have killer hangovers on Monday.

        1. Old Man With Candy

          When I lived in Utah, 3.2 was all we could get. So we’d drive over to Evanston, WY to stock up. Evanston’s entire economy was based on Utah’s retarded liquor laws. In any case, the Utah cops would come over to Evanston, write down the license plate numbers of all the Utah cars, then go back over to Utah and wait for the cars to come back over the border. $500 fine and confiscation.

          1. I guess probable cause is an afterthought for Mormons.

          2. Somalian Road Corporation

            Things like that are why I generally think of the police as a street gang with better uniform standards and more institutional backing.

            I wonder what has to be going through the heads of the cops doing that. “Is this what I really signed up for? Does this actually do any good?” Bunny Colvin-esque revelations are entirely too seldom for my liking.

          3. Old Man With Candy

            I am 100% convinced that THEY were 100% convinced of their righteousness.

    4. Hyperion

      Maryland still has that. In Baltimore county you can’t buy even beer or wine on Sunday, except in restaurants. But surrounding areas, like Baltimore City and Howard County, you can buy all you wan on Sunday.

      1. Yup, not sure about the rest of PG county but I know in Bowie liquor stores are closed Sundays. Which just means that everybody drives ten minutes down the road to the first liquor store in Anne Arundel Co., which does a thriving Sunday trade.

  14. straffinrun

    Zoe Sugg: the vlogger blamed for declining teenage literacy

    She has been blamed, along with other pedlars of unchallenging fiction – Jeff Kinney, of Diary of a Wimpy Kid – for declining teen literacy.

    If you want to blame someone, how about the assholes at the public school whose job it was to make kids literate?

    1. Viking1865

      Nothing is ever their fault. Ever.

    2. Brett L

      Or parents and guardians. Could we blame the people who are legally charged with raising the child to be a functional adult?

      1. straffinrun

        If I get to take a clear shot at either a clueless parent or a parasitical bureaucrat, I know my choice.

      2. wdalasio

        Parents responsible for their childrens’ upbringing? What are you, some kind of wing-nut kook?! Everyone knows it takes a village! Let’s hope you’re not subjecting any children to that sort of bizarre ranting.

        1. Brett L

          No, in my house, that doesn’t even begin to cover bizarre rants. Luckily, I’ve learned to read my wife’s cues. When she throws her hands up in incredulity, I’ve crossed over into bizarre.

    3. Grumbletarian

      Uh, pedlars? Is that some across-the-pond way of spelling ‘peddlers’?

      1. Juice

        You don’t what to know how they spell niggard.

    4. Juice

      “You know who we should blame for teen illiteracy? These book writers over here.”

  15. Getting old is depressing:

    Back in my late 20s, I met this woman who was 7 years younger than me. Petite, and blonde. She was dating one of my friends, who was a guitarist/singer in the local punk rock scene. From the first time I laid eyes on her I was infatuated with her. She ended up breaking up with my friend and having a series of loser boyfriends. After some time she and I became friends of sorts – often hanging out, going to shows, and partying. A few years ago she moved away, ended up having a kid and working a dead-end job.

    (get to the point!) Her FB feed usually only shows pictures of her daughter but she recently went to a funeral for one of the old scenesters who died of a Hepatitis C complications (H user).

    Anyway – she has gotten tremendously fat to the point that I didn’t recognize her until my wife pointed her out. We aren’t talking about 20-30 pounds, but more like 60-80 more than she used to weigh. It certainly knocked the wind out of my memory of her – since I still thought of her as the petite fun-loving blonde who would flirt like mad with me, and then proceed to drink me under the table. Argh.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Look on the bright side, you didn’t catch 18 flavors of VD from her.

      1. Certified Public Asshat

        Or get stuck with child support.

      2. Ja, I never slept with her. She never seemed that interested in me unless she wanted to piss off one of her boyfriends.

        1. SugarFree

          I slept with my crazy fun girl–it was very enjoyable, until it wasn’t. When her parents sent her to rehab, she sort of picked me out at random to blame for her coke habit.

          1. John Titor

            “And oh my god mom, he made me do the dirtiest things to him while he talked to himself with sockpuppets that that had a wig and a hat on them.”

          2. Private Chipperbot

            Bravo!

          3. TripodKat

            Yep, I had my crazy chick at one point too. Fun until it wasn’t, just like you said. That girl got herself kicked out of every house she stayed at – then she tried to stay with me. Realizing my mistake and that excellent sex was not worth it, I got her the hell out.

    2. Drake

      Drinking people under the table on a regular basis isn’t exactly a healthy lifestyle, particularly for a small-framed woman.

    3. straffinrun

      ——————–(Bullet> ——————- *Humungus does Keanu backwards bendover*

      1. “You moved like they do…”

    4. Old Man With Candy

      My FB feed is similarly depressing. They all look like older versions of their moms.

      Surprisingly, one still looks great. As a teenager, we nicknamed her Crackerjack, because she was in the handy pass-around pack.

        1. dammit – that’s supposed to be a new post.

        2. Mike Schmidt

          Just a few administrations ago there were cigars being used as dildos in the Oval Office, and now all of a sudden these idiots are worried about decorum and respect for the office.

          1. Yeah, wait a minute. Wasn’t it supposed to be no big deal that a sitting president got a hummer from an intern in the Oval Office and anyone who thought otherwise was a prude or a partisan?

    5. Trigger Hippie

      It happens man. Hell, I was carrying a torch for an ex girlfriend for a few years until I saw her again. She didn’t gain weight, quite the opposite. She went vegan and became a SJW that takes herself waaaay too seriously. Her Derpbook page,…#crueltyfreelife#vegangoddess#womanwarrior…shit like that.

      Do what I did and just count yourself lucky.

    6. Chipwooder

      When I was 22 and a college senior, I met a woman online who was several years older than me, 27 or 28. We only lived a few hours from each other, so we met in real life and things progressed very well from there. She lived out in the boonies and expressed a desire to move west, either LA or Vegas. I said why not, and after graduation promptly found a job in LA and moved out there. She owned a small company with her brother and had to find someone to buy out her half of it before she moved….she said. Weeks passed, and eventually I asked her if she was coming out at all. Of course the answer was no, at which point I learned she was actually married, separated from her husband, but going back to him. Whatever.

      So anyway, 19 years later, I succumb to curiosity and look her up on Facebook. She did me the biggest favor I could have ever asked for. Middle age has not been kind to her at all.

    7. Rhywun

      Meh. I weigh 80 pounds more than I did in my early 20s – because I was poor and hungry all the time then.

  16. Drake

    It seems like the hardcore feminists do the worst job of all the Leftists of keeping their Molotov–Ribbentrop Pact with the Muslims under wraps. They have the Maoists working alongside the convicted terrorist in the article and the Hamas & Muslim Brotherhood connected Linda Sarsour. How stupid do you have to follow these people?

    On a side note, if I was running the Star Wars franchise, I would cast Rasmea Yousef Odeh as a female Palpitine – she looks like pure evil (and apparently looks are not deceiving in this case).

  17. Grainy video of blurry photo proves Bigfoot exists, lives in Minnesota

    How can you tell this is Bigfoot, and not a gorilla, a man in a gorilla suit, or a gorilla suit placed on an oblong rock?

    What makes this Bigfoot “curious”? How can you tell Bigfoot is curious if you can’t see his face?

    Is it a he? Why is Bigfoot always a he?

    Doesn’t it look like this Bigfoot is taking a shit?

    Speaking of shit, is this piano music bed really supposed to evoke a woodland beast that’s survived for millenia without leaving a single corpse in the scientific record, thereby setting up the possible if not likely reality that Bigfoot is, in fact, immortal? Is ascribing lousy taste in music our way of looking down our nose at the “missing link”?

    1. Slammer

      BLURRY? STEVE SMITH HAVE LASER LIKE FOCUS!

    2. Pope Jimbo

      There is a reason that we like to say “Uffda, does a bigfoot shit in the woods?” in Minnesoda.

      There are some trails in our state forests where is it nearly impossible to walk without stepping in sasquatch scat.

    3. John Titor

      STEVE SMITH SHOW YOU HOW CURIOUS HE IS. BEND OVER.

    4. Tundra

      Fake.

      Only one yeti in this state.

      1. STEVE SMITH IS RAPESQUATCH, NOT YETI!

    5. Suthenboy

      So the alt-right totally does exist. Good to know.

    6. Suthenboy

      Also, I recognize that photo. It is decades(?) old and the man and his girlfriend that made that admitted it was a fraud. I remember seeing them standing on the side of the highway laughing and explaining how they did it.

  18. Certified Public Asshat

    From a friend:

    seriously – you can’t even make this shit up – “Nominee to head commerce department is vice-chairman of Bank of Cyprus, partly owned by Putin, which may have loaned money to Trump”

    Someone can correct me, but from my research…it is made up. A friend of Putin owns part of the bank, but not Putin.

    1. Viking1865

      6 Degrees of Putin.

      I loved Tillerson being THE WORST CHOICE EVER because he “did deals with Russia!!!!11”. Because why would you want a SecState who has experience in high level negotiation with a foreign power?

      1. Drake

        And it ignored all the failed public and lucrative private deals the Clintons did with the Russians.

      2. Somalian Road Corporation

        When he got put forward the usual suspects immediately set to changing pictures on Wiki to those of him in Russia, including one shaking hands with Putin that still remains. At least it’s not all Russia at the moment.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Made up huh? So they got to you too.

    3. John Titor

      Somehow Putin manages to be a Machiavellian genius who can successfully cover up every loose end in a global conspiracy, but Russia is still a shit hole.

      1. Brett L

        Ukraine is strong like bear!

  19. Customer Deposited Coke In Bank ATM

    According to a police report, a technician was directed to examine an ATM that had gone out of service earlier this month at a Suncoast Credit Union branch in Bradenton (seen below). The ATM’s “deposit mechanism was jammed,” cops noted.

    Upon studying the ATM, the technician discovered what caused the jam: “a small clear baggie containing a white powdery substance.” Cops reported that the technician concluded that “the substance was possibly with the cash of the last person who made the deposit causing the malfunction.”

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      So? Did the bank accept the deposit? What kind of interest do you earn on that sort of account?

      1. 2 bumps per month per kilo.

      2. TripodKat

        bps stands for “bumps” not “basis points”

  20. Haybob

    Hey all coming over from the place you don’t speak of, where I mostly lurked in the bushes of the comment section without comment. Hoping to make more of a contribution over here, I already like the format better.

    1. straffinrun

      Lurked in the bushes? Stick in already.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      The tone is a lot better too-people aren’t primed to bite your head off.

      1. Drake

        I felt myself getting nasty over there as the content of the articles became less thought and more virtue signalling.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          Me too…I’m happy there’s an alternative.

        2. Ditto, and I have a really, really bad habit of going off half-cocked online. Not my best quality.

    3. Old Man With Candy

      We’ll scare you off somehow.

      1. *hands hockey goalie mask and chain saw to OMWC*

        1. Private Chipperbot
      2. Haybob

        How could anyone be scared of someone with free candy in the back of their van? Add in puppies and a bike and I’ll never leave.

        1. straffinrun

          I fell for his, “Hey kid, do you like chicken? Taste this, it’s foul.”

          1. It takes a real turkey to tell that joke.

          2. Saevus

            Just wait until he gets to “the stuffing.”

  21. John Titor

    @ENBrown: Me: “Gender is dumb”
    Woke people on the Internet: WHY DO YOU HATE & FEAR TRANS PEOPLE?!?

    Welcome to the alt-right ENB.

    1. Certified Public Asshat

      Gah! You had me go over to her twitter page and I stumbled upon the link to this story:

      https://amp.theguardian.com/books/2017/feb/28/my-gender-didnt-exist-in-fiction-when-i-was-growing-up-so-i-wrote-myself-into-existence

      WOOF.

      1. Steve Son of Steve

        The conclusion I draw is that this person is acknowledging that whatever gender he/she/it identifies as is fictional.

    2. Suthenboy

      Yeah, she is going full blown proggie idiot.

      1. John Titor

        No, that’s ENB actually criticizing some person’s ‘gender construct’ and then having the internet throw a hissy fit over it. She doesn’t get that unless she unquestioningly accepts every position the progressive zeitgeist shits out she will forever be the Other.

        1. Suthenboy

          OH. I guess I am the one seeing bigfoot. I saw the universal basic income article yesterday and basically wrote them off, figured they finally tossed the mask completely.

      2. Somalian Road Corporation

        I have come to the earnest conclusion that spending too much time in a Twitter bubble, particularly a journo one, rots your brain. The structural nature of the platform itself is just not conducive to actual discussion, unless you resort to horribly awkward contrivances like “manthreading” to say things.

        Also, not even the most brilliant people in history have something worthwhile to say every 10-20 waking minutes. The sheer amount spewed out by some of these folks who are apparently drawing a salary to sit on Twitter on day is mindboggling.

        1. TripodKat

          The only time I use twitter is when I’m tweeting out speedtest.com results @ComcastCares. Why am I getting 15mbs/sec when I pay for 150mbs/sec. Huh, Comcast? Why?! WORST COMPANY IN AMERICA

          1. Somalian Road Corporation

            Yeah, there are some companies (Crashplan, cough cough) who basically have to be shamed in public on Twitter to actually get some semblance of customer service.

            At least Cox is really good around here now that I’ve moved back to the Valley. Cox will stay up with no performance issues… alright, alright, I’m going to stop myself because I could keep going in that vein for a while.

          2. TripodKat

            I went to a Superbowl party this year and the TV went out between the hours of 6PM and 10PM, exactly the hours of the Superbowl. I missed the greatest superbowl comeback of all time.

            I don’t have broadcast TV – just internet. Comcast had the nerve to send me a sales call 3 days after the Superbowl trying to get met to buy TV. Comcast needs to be burnt to the ground.

        2. The Fusionist

          @TheRealAlbertEinstein

          Things are slow at the patent office, time for a, shall we say, stimulating session of reading Fanny Hill.

          What the…I can’t find that book anywhere…

          Hello, here are some old notes of mine, well, I may as well work them into some kind of paper since I have nothing else to do.

          Better put my pants back on, I don’t want Cousin Buford walking in. It’s like he has the run of the place. It’s all relatives…hmmm…

        3. GSL in E

          Yeah. Something that became very, very clear in this election: most if not all journalists spend pretty much every waking moment on Twitter. And aren’t aware that their minds are hobbled by groupthink.

          1. R C Dean

            Very few people have the gift of pithy commentary (I’m thinking Dave Burge). For the vast majority, Twitter just makes them stupid as an inherent nature of the character limit and their inability to resist the electronic twitch of constant updates.

          2. Ooh, that’s good. I’m gonna retweet that.

  22. An Immigration Marriage Made in Hell
    Libertarians and liberals have forged a strange pro-immigration alliance. It’s going to end poorly.

    For years, libertarian activists have provided much of the intellectual firepower for the pro-immigration cause. The pro-immigration left routinely parrots arguments originally made by libertarians who quite literally want to eliminate the welfare state, and many pro-immigration liberals in Congress have signed on to legislation that would go dangerously far in this direction. But ultimately, the pro-immigration right and the pro-immigration left have goals that are utterly incompatible. This is a strange sort of bipartisanship. It’s as though immigration advocates on one side of the ideological divide believe that they can fleece advocates on the other: I think you’re a useful idiot, and you feel the same way about me, so let’s join forces! In the long run, though, one side or the other is going to be proven wrong. For the sake of our nation, I hope it’s the libertarians who lose this argument. As much as I might disagree with the liberals on the wisdom of increasing less-skilled immigration, they at least appreciate that zeroing out the safety net would be a humanitarian disaster for the millions of poor immigrant families who live among us.

    1. John Titor

      Oh, I wouldn’t worry about the libertarians winning, considering the whole ‘we’re strategically incompetent’ thing and apparently a percentage of them are willing die on the altar of mass immigration with no other policies fulfilled.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      For the love of JESUS’S CROSS AND NAILS, stop conflating illegal immigration with anti-immigration! Enforce your damn laws and shut the hell up already.

      As for libertarians joining up with liberals, good luck with that.

    3. Suthenboy

      Libertarian- zzzzzzzzz? I dont think so Reihan. The only libertarianssssss I see throwing in with the proggies are people who call themselves libertarian but were never any such thing. They were always proggies and it was pretty obvious most of the time. What is going to happen is that those people who are taking off the mask will fail to successfully bring real libertarians into the proggie fold and then they will never put those masks back on. Not to worry, a new bunch will come along to take their place.

    4. Hyperion

      As spoken to the ‘liberals’.

      Problem #1: You aren’t liberals.

      Problem #2: You’re going to lose in the end, one way or other. Either we figure out as a nation that we cannot have both unrestrained immigration and a massive welfare state, or you get your way and the economy collapses.

      1. leonadasiv

        Yeah… Hoping libertarians are wrong about that (the incompatibility of free open borders and a welfare state) is like hoping scientists are wrong about gravity…

    5. Arg. So if illegal immigrants–because that’s what we’re really talking about here, not just immigration generally–are in the best case a net gain in terms of welfare spending or in the worst case a net neutral as open borders advocates say, then cutting welfare spending shouldn’t affect them, right? After all, the argument is that they pay into the system but for a number of reasons don’t take advantage of the system. If that isn’t true, and illegal immigrants are indeed a net cost in terms of welfare spending, then the argument against open borders from a fiscal perspective is valid.

      If you want to argue that we shouldn’t worry about the cost because of feels, that’s fine, or if you want to argue that there are other economic benefits that outweigh the costs, that’s also fine, but those are separate points.

  23. SugarFree

    The next women’s march is in the planning stage. This one is gonna be more along the lines of a general strike though. Oh, and don’t make the planner angry. You wouldn’t like her when she’s angry

    Whatevs. She only killed Jews. Who cares about Cultural Marxists?

  24. Drake

    Because California isn’t fucked up enough already.

    With Obamacare in jeopardy, California considers going it alone with ‘single-payer’ system

    http://www.latimes.com/local/california/la-me-ln-california-plan-20170219-story.html

    1. Grumbletarian

      Vermont considered single payer and concluded it would cost too much. I’m sure it’ll work with sixty-one times Vermont’s population.

      1. Somalian Road Corporation

        I await the articles explaining how they’ll make it work with the economic advantages of high-speed rail.

      2. Hyperion

        Demographics is not a real thing. Feelz makes that magically go away.

      3. JaimeRoberto

        But we’ll make it up on volume.

      4. GSL in E

        Yeah. Not to mention that rapidly prog-ifying Colorado soundly rejected the chance to do this last November.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Can we just sell Cali to China already?

    3. Hyperion

      Yeah, and they expect the rest of us to pay for it. Imagine that.

    4. Vermont, with a homogenous and healthy population and very few free-riders said it’d be too expensive. California, with a whole lot of free riders, a bursting-at-the-seams welfare system and a whole hell of a lot of unfunded liabilities in their pubsec pension programs thinks it can pull it off.

      Hyperbole aside, if California does this, that will be the end of them. They’ll have to raise taxes so high, there won’t be a single business left.

      1. How long can California ride on the Sunshine Tax? I’d read somewhere that Cali doesn’t get much in terms of federal monies and might in fact contribute more in fed tax than they use, but they’ve also got a massive welfare burden, subsidies out the wazoo, an astronomical cost of living, and crazy taxes. People pay it because it’s beautiful out there, but eventually you’re going to run out of people willing or able to spend that kind of dough.

        1. R C Dean

          I’d read somewhere that Cali doesn’t get much in terms of federal monies

          CA is a net consumer of federal money, as far as I can tell.

          1. Brett L

            Depends on how/whether you count military spending, I think.

          2. R C Dean

            The numbers I saw were gross numbers for taxes collected and money spent. I believe they included everything (Medicaid, Medicare, SocSec, military, etc.)

        2. GSL in E

          We got out in 2015. It says a lot about CA that we were ecstatic to be leaving a place with perfect weather, great food, a lot of great towns, and most of our friends and family. But it was 100% the correct decision.

      2. GSL in E

        Now that CalPERS is starting to recognize the scale of the public pensions problem, that’s probably inevitable regardless. In the near future, Californians are going to be paying sky-high taxes for a government that does little other than pay its retirees.

    5. Suthenboy

      Say hello to medical tourists pouring across the border. Sanctuary cities for the win!

  25. Grumbletarian

    Re: Bucknell derp: My first thought on reading the article was “Who needs a mirror to put in contact lenses? I know I don’t. Can’t you see where your finger is aiming when it’s less than an inch from your eyeball?”

    1. Drake

      My assumption is that the first normal kid in the bathroom would just tear that crap out of the way if he needs a mirror.

  26. Rufus the Monocled

    DO ANY OF YOU WORK?

    1. Only when I have to.

    2. Mike Schmidt

      Funny you should mention it. I am supposed to be working right now!

    3. straffinrun

      I do in the morrow and so I’m off to bed. Links an hour early are awesome. Feeling like going to bed at 11? Not so awesome.

    4. Drake

      Oh shit! I knew I drove through all that traffic for some reason.

    5. Haybob

      Depends on how you define work.

    6. Hyperion

      What? Hey, I’ve already made my quota of widgets today!

    7. The Elite Elite

      I know! I sometimes feel like I’m the only guy here who has a job. I miss out on all the good conversations because of work, then join in so late no one see or responds to my posts. Are the rest of you all retired old people?

      1. Suthenboy

        I am retired Elite and I barely have time to keep up around here. Worse still on my ‘smart’ days I rarely have time to be here. It seems like the only time I can is when I am mentally exhausted and everything I say makes me look retarded.

      2. trshmnstr

        My job starts in 2 weeks. Then yall will see a bit less of me.

      3. Grumbletarian

        We’re libertarians. Our unpaid orphans do all the work.

      4. mikey

        I’m retired and now spend less time here. Got too much to do to sit in front of the computer all day like when I”worked”.

      5. JD

        This is exactly what I was going to write.

    8. Agent Cooper

      No, we’re Canadian.

    9. UnCivilServant

      I’m sick today.

    10. Vida Hobo

      Being a hobo is work.

      1. UnCivilServant

        Well, technically Hobos are supposed to be migrant day laborers…

    11. bacon-magic

      Rufus, you’ve asked this multiple times. Where can I send you my resume?

  27. straffinrun

    “Words Your Body Needs to Hear”

    Please let me write the poster.

    1. Brett L

      Fewer sodas, more squats. Bathe daily.

  28. “Self-Love Week”

    They have to have a Week for that?

    1. straffinrun

      Yes, it ends with Palm Sunday.

      1. Tundra

        Win.

        1. another Kevin

          The euphemisms are much less elliptical around here.

      2. Agent Cooper

        *narrows grip*

  29. Some things never change:

    4th C. B.C. lead sling “bullet.” The slinger carved ΔΕΞΑΙ into it. Which roughly translates to: “Catch!”
    https://twitter.com/MykeCole/status/836263762625691650/photo/1

    1. Suthenboy

      Lazy dogs have been around forever. Wicked little bastards.

      1. Glitterstorm

        Some things never change.

  30. F. Stupidity Jr.

    Ran 1.7 miles this morning. The Defattening is gathering momentum, Ls and Gs. It won’t be long before my sex appeal reaches Unbearable status, and women everywhere suddenly attack me, AXE Body Spray commercial-style.

    1. John Titor

      Does Unbearable status act as a natural repellent to Jesse, Grizzly and Tonio?

  31. Rufus the Monocled

    Re DeBeers. Thank God I held off buying that last batch of orphans I planned to dispatch up north.

    1. Tundra

      There was nothing in the article, but I wonder if the advances is lab diamonds is taking its toll.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Looks like they’re going to use the old we were wrong but we meant well defense. Being that it’s a law enforcement agency it’ll work.

    2. Jerms

      Sugarfree said her pelvic bottom is a horrid mess. Still-would.

      1. Jerms

        That was a reply about Kellyanne. Fuck

  32. Hyperion

    Check out Kellyanne! Hey, isn’t this like the ultimate women’s lib moment? A girl on the sofa with no shoes, in the Oval Office? This is priceless stuff right here. Go girl, go girl!

    You have to figure this is intentional trolling. But being that it’s Kellyanne, I think it’s just normal. She reminds me of a girl from Arkansas I used to work with.

    Kellyanne

    1. straffinrun

      Is she sitting on the bust of MLK?

    2. Certified Public Asshat

      She still had her heels on. Shoes on furniture should be a no-no.

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      This’ll be spun as disrespectful, inappropriate, and racist. They just can’t help themselves.

      1. John Titor

        Real respect for the institution is having the President go onto late night talk shows and read mean tweets.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          You mean the Preezy of the United Steezy?

        2. Suthenboy

          Dancing with the Stars, John. Obama appearing on Dancing with the Stars was the pinnacle of class.

    4. Grumbletarian

      From the article:

      Trump’s predecessor Barack Obama repeatedly took flak for photos in which he appeared to be relaxing.

      Critics also chastised Obama for unbuttoning the previous Oval Office dress code that called for a suit jacket and a tie.

      I must have missed all the kerfuffle over this between ‘You didn’t build that,” Obamacare, stimulus, and the Great Beer Summit.

      1. John Titor

        There was some complaints about his repeated shitty salutes.

    5. Agent Cooper

      Without a cigar in her vajayjay, I’m not sure I care.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    DO ANY OF YOU WORK?

    This triggered me. It took me a while to dredge up the association, but I did

  34. Count Potato

    Honestly, I have mixed feelings about the exodus. While I think it’s great you all are doing your own thing. I doubt it will affect the editorial bent of that other site that was becoming unreasonable. As much as I was irked by the influx of impersonators. A commentariat without John is like a world war without Germany.

    Anyway, since this place is DIY. I thought I should post.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Check out their Alexa stats-just terrible.

      1. Count Potato

        I did the other day, after a link was posted here. What I know about web business could fit on a postcard. But I’m linking that a less active comment section would result in fewer clicks to reload the page, have the page open for less time, etc. And not be indicative of how many people read the articles. Although it might make a difference in ad revenue.

        1. Old Man With Candy

          If you took all of my concern about Alexa stats and converted it to gasoline, there wouldn’t be enough to run a pissant’s gokart around the inside of a Cheerio.

        2. Count Potato

          Um, “thinking that a less active comment section.”

          Wait, is there something anti-libertarian about edit buttons?

          1. edit buttons

            ::cracks knuckles::
            ::cues up cat ass #1::

          2. trshmnstr

            Will the person that accumulates the most cat asses be given a cat ass trophy?

          3. Brett L

            Its more like The League where the “winner” has to get the actual tattoo.

          4. Max Coins

            Groan

          5. UnCivilServant

            yes.

            You have to stand by what you say.

        3. Disclaimer: I’m a web developer, but I don’t really deal too much with analytics or the marketing side.

          Broadly, an active comment section means that you’ve got a lot of people on your site looking at stuff and engaging, i.e. clicking buttons and links. Engagement is a big thing. Since the comments are on the same page as the articles, your time on page will typically be higher, which is good. People refresh and check back to find replies to their links since there aren’t email notifications, which means more page loads, etc. All this stuff gets tracked by Google and goes into your site’s search rankings and so forth, which in turn translates into attractiveness to advertisers, drives further traffic, etc.

          It starts to get a little cargo-cultish where you’re sort of just trying to hit metrics however you can and hope that it magically transforms into people seeing ads and advertisers sending you money, but everyone buys into it, so it works whether it ought to or not. Kind of like the concept of the state, when you think about it. Anyway, yeah, fewer commenters would definitely hit your metrics hard, and I’m betting they’re seeing a drop. Eventually that could turn into a drop in revenue.

    2. John Titor

      The Other Site might find itself having to reorient based on their current amount clicks, we’ll see.

      A commentariat without John is like a world war without Germany.

      Consider this the intra-war years before John figures out he doesn’t have to be invited to come here.

      1. Count Potato

        Czech.

      2. Private Chipperbot

        He’s in the beer hall drafting his first post.

        1. Somalian Road Corporation

          Eh, I don’t mind John even though I don’t agree with him on a lot of things. It’s the bad-faith concern trolls who somehow have 14 hours a day, every day, for years and years on end, to shit things up, while pulling stunts like linking to sources that rebut their own claims repeatedly, that grate on me.

          And, on a related note, I’m still mentally scarred from a certain gamboler’s thousand-year reign of terror.

          1. Count Potato

            I still can’t watch Cleveland play ball.

            I don’t mind John, either. Sorry, if I implied otherwise. Apparently, that was a failed attempt at humor. He always seemed honest about what he actually thought.

          2. John Titor

            I actually have no problem with a lot of John’s arguments, some are actually thought-provoking and promote discussion. The problem is that personality-wise he can be a massive cunt. If the guy mellowed the fuck out he’d get way less shit than he does.

          3. Private Chipperbot

            Oh, I don’t mind him. He just gets wound up from time to time and goes like the Energizer Bunny.

          4. If he comes here and is as insulting and nasty as ever….you will be seeing our whole range of cat-butt photos, I promise.

    3. Old Man With Candy

      This is not an instead-of, it’s its own thing. Seriously.

      1. John Titor

        The Wings to the Other Site’s Beatles?

        1. Old Man With Candy

          Badfinger.

        2. More like the Traveling Wilburys, seeing as we’re a supergroup.

    4. straffinrun

      There are still many good people commenting there. Even some of the, let’s say “iffy” on the principle side of libertarianism, people were fun to interact with. Becoming an echo chamber is a danger and I hope to see a drag out fight here. A fair fight, but good one. Haven’t seen it yet.

      1. Hyperion

        I don’t think consider this a safe space. The trolls should be banned as they have no valuable input, their only intention is to disrupt meaningful conversation. Commenters here are still going to agree to disagree, I don’t see that changing.

        1. Negroni Please

          I disagree that we can agree to disagree. Unless you’re part of the same minuscule libertarian faction I identify with. Then you mean well and are merely misguided. But if identify with an even slightly different libertarian faction then none of your arguments are in good faith and you are slaving piece of shit. Got it?

        2. straffinrun

          Honeymoon phase. It is ironic that it took TSWITBN to get libertarians to chill out a bit and focus on what they do have in common.

          1. UnCivilServant

            Stop accusing me of being a Libertarian.

            I tailor what I discuss to the people I’m around.

        3. R C Dean

          Commenters here are still going to agree to disagree

          The fuck we will.

          1. bacon-magic

            You’re wrong. *storms off*

      2. Suthenboy

        Wanna start a fight? Thats easy. Just bring up immigration. Or worse, deep dish pizza. The shit will hit the fan.

        1. Negroni Please

          I was impressed that the IP thread was fairly civil which is unusual among libertarians. Now we need an article on the War of Northern Aggression and it’s impact on the circumcision of aborted fetuses just to make sure we can all remain friends.

        2. straffinrun

          No, I want to watch a fight. *Pours self a tall, cool glass of ketchup*

          1. Volren

            Sometimes we need to be the change we want to see.

          2. bacon-magic

            I heard salsa was the preferred condiment of choice in the U.S. now. *pours shot of salsa*

        3. Hyperion

          Or abortion. There I went and done it.

    5. Hyperion

      That’s totally up to them, right? They’re not going to make the left love them no matter how hard they try.

      1. Count Potato

        I agree. The Left cannot even love itself from a decade ago.

    6. Agent Cooper

      I don’t really care what Reason.com decides to do.

      1. Negroni Please

        Noooooo to name them is to summon them!!!!

        1. R C Dean

          Can we get an admin to edit out The Name That Shall Not Be Uttered?

          1. SugarFree

            It’s not like we had a messy break-up. We just simply walked away. Say it all you want.

          2. Agent Cooper

            Yeah, I forgot. Sorry. But whatevs.

    7. R C Dean

      I doubt it will affect the editorial bent of that other site

      Whatever. I like Our Thing here. If they disappear into the SJW Borg, eh, I’ll live.

    8. TripodKat

      This isn’t for the other site. This is for our own sanity.

      1. UnCivilServant

        What sanity? I mean, we brought SugarFree along.

        1. TripodKat

          Don’t put that evil on me. He just shows up

        2. SugarFree

          I am a founder of the site. I was here from the beginning.

          1. TripodKat

            ^ See. Now he thinks he created the site.

          2. This Machine

            SugarFree endures. As well ask men what they think of stone. SugarFree was always here. Before Man was, SugarFree waited for him. The ultimate trade awaiting its ultimate practitioner. That is the way it was and always will be. That way and not some other way.

  35. If you want to feel like you are in an 80s Michael Mann Movie – this Youtube 24/7 radio station might be for you.

    Alternative: Spotify Radio Station for “The Northern Lights”

  36. Haybob

    http://www.wesplain.com/privilege/white-people-its-time-to-pay-for-privilege-the-equality-tax/

    “UPDATE (2/27): We have reached out to the author of this article. They have confirmed that if you were born white, but identify as a different race or otherkin, you would be void from paying the Equality Tax. You would just have to submit proof that this transformation is genuine.”

    I’m thinking this is just a joke to get people riled up.

    1. I identify as a Warty-acolyte, powered on Death Squats and The Dead Deadlifts.

      1. Haybob

        Can you prove you made a genuine transformation?

        1. Now you’re asking for dick pics, aren’t you?

          1. Haybob

            Hey it’s not my job to verify that’s up to the newly formed Self Identity Verification Unit of the IRS.

          2. Haybob

            Speaking of which when the next congressional investigation of the IRS happens. The SIVU hard drives will be the first to “dissapear”.

        2. Brett L

          1) Institute a licensing regime with a “reasonable” fee to be licensed
          2) Require a licensed professional to examine petitioners for a “reasonable” fee
          3) Have said professional generate paperwork certifying that you are appropriately WOKE
          4) Present your papers to the State with a “reasonable” fee for them to process it

          This is statism 101, Haybob

    2. Drake

      Jiyza is a shorter name for it.

      1. straffinrun

        Nice.

    3. Count Potato

      I’m thinking that whole site is an exercise in Poe’s Law. It was set up as a parody, but some of its contributors don’t know it.

    4. Suthenboy

      “I’m thinking this is just a joke…”

      How can you tell any more? I cant.

    5. Grumbletarian

      “Sorry, I identify as a minority, and I’m often told that we are too poor to be able to get proof, you horrible racist!”

  37. The Late P Brooks

    I doubt it will affect the editorial bent of that other site that was becoming unreasonable.

    It seems unlikely. I, for one, made no ransom demands. I’m sure they’ll find happiness as a platform for hard core left wing concern trolls.

  38. Negroni Please

    I’ve posted twice on OMWC’s phantom Reagan article and the article keeps disappearing. I think that I may have Alzheimer’s. Quit yanking the football away before I kick it. Oh shit are you Lucy?

    1. Old Man With Candy

      This is SugarFree demonstrating his WordPress skills.

    2. Brett L

      Not to worry, the appropriate people are being caned as we speak.

      1. Negroni Please

        As long as others suffer then I am content. I assume that means y’all are fixing that full screen blurry Reagan pic as well. Looking at a haloed melted candle through simulated cataracts is actually not how I prefer to start my day. Well….my Tuesday anyway.

        1. Old Man With Candy

          It will be up tomorrow after SP is done beating SugarFree to a quivering diabetic pulp.

          1. Tundra

            That would be a great fundraiser.

            Just sayin’

  39. The Late P Brooks

    California considers going it alone with ‘single-payer’ system

    “Belly up to the bar, and git to spending!”

    1. Negroni Please

      single payer is meant to go along with their stage two single buyer plan and eventually segue into the single entity initiative. AKA the hive mind.

      1. Hyperion

        I want to see them do that and secede. Then I want to be entertained for months while their desperate pleas for a bailout from the rest of us falls on deaf ears.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    if you were born white, but identify as a different race or otherkin, you would be void from paying the Equality Tax.

    I identify as Ming the Merciless, emperor of the planet Mongo. I’ll have you shot into space if you try to impose this tax on me.

    1. Drake

      I identify as a free man.

    2. “Otherkin”? What, like a dark elf or a werewolf or something?

  41. Rhywun

    Today in “he’s playing you like a fiddle, stupid”:

    MTA fires back at President Trump after he claims tiles, loose concrete fall from NYC tunnels

    I guess they don’t need that promised infrastructure money after all.

  42. More music news: John Moreland, my fav modern Americana singer/songwriter, has a new album coming out in May. Song in the link.

  43. The Late P Brooks

    I identify as a free man.

    *Number Two laughs*

    1. Old Man With Candy

      *Number Two laughs*

      Is that a Mr. Hanky reference?

      1. Saevus

        That would be telling.

  44. Somalian Road Corporation

    While well-done steak with ketchup sounds like a travesty to me–and not just because burning it to death is a waste; ketchup was made obsolete with the invention of barbecue sauce–I wonder how many more stories on the culinary habits of Trump I have to look forward to in the future.

    1. Chipwooder

      The fucking food police piss me off more than almost anyone else. Look, I don’t want ketchup on my steak, but what the hell do I care if someone else does? I do put ketchup (among other things) on hot dogs, so fuck off if you’re one of those assholes who bleats “Only mustard goes on hot dogs!!!” You don’t like it? Then simply don’t eat it.

      1. Somalian Road Corporation

        I’ll make jesting comments about that kind of stuff, but unless it’s picking my pocket or breaking my leg, I don’t actually care. I do find it rather amusing to witness the religious wars over chili having beans or not. Especially while eating my deep-dish Hawaiian pizza.

        1. Chipwooder

          To clarify, I meant a hypothetical “you”

        2. Agent Cooper

          Especially while eating my deep-dish Hawaiian pizza.

          OH HELL NO!

        3. Old Man With Candy

          deep-dish Hawaiian pizza.

          /prepares cat butthole

          1. Zero Sum Game

            Do you prepare that well-done with ketchup?

      2. Old Man With Candy

        Neither goes on hot dogs. Civilized people use relish or better yet, giardiniera.

        1. AlmightyJB

          I like pulsing a little giardiniera in a blender with a little pickled hot cherry peppers for a relish. That along which some carmelized onion and green pepper on a sliced up med-rare ribeye on a toasted hoagie with melted fontinella cheese and a little mustard is best cheesteak sandwich your ever have.

        2. Chipwooder

          Ketchup, brown mustard, relish, chopped onion. HOW BOW DAH?

      3. Only mustard? I thought it was just there to keep the relish company.

        Or the chili and cheese.

      4. Brett L

        I think we can all agree that mayonnaise on hot dogs is beyond the pale.

        1. *looks shyly down at shoes*

        2. Saevus

          You, good sir, must never have had a Sonoran hot dog. Find the most Mexican place in your town and go looking for one, they are great.

      5. I like steak cooked well-done, because I’m not a mindless Hun who spills his mead all over the duchess’s silk gown, then drinks from the flippin’ fingerbowl.

    2. R C Dean

      I wonder how many more stories on the culinary habits of Trump I have to look forward to in the future.

      I think we’ve already seen more than we ever saw for Obama’s Amazing Indonesian Culinary Adventures.

      1. You’d have expected those stories to have dogged him for 8 years. But they didn’t.

          1. Zero Sum Game

            Impressive that Swiss has developed the technology to discover stealth puns flying below the radar.

    3. AlmightyJB

      Ketchup still serves a purpose although I like to substitute chili sauce when available. Ketchup makes a nice base for things like tangy sweet and sour sauces and shrimp cocktail sauce. I always put mustard on hot dogs but if you gave me one with ketchup I would eat it.

      1. bacon-magic

        You are a monster.

      2. Chipwooder

        I do agree that chili sauce is superior to ketchup for most uses.

    4. MikeT86

      We all have our own crusades and holy wars.

      Well done steak is one of mine.

      The infidel must be purged.

    5. Zero Sum Game

      I suspect a lot of people just haven’t had a good well-done steak. There’s my mother-in-law’s gray shoe-leather with A-1 steaks (whatever was on sale), and there are delicious, juicy pan-braised steaks.

      And that really is the trick. You don’t put the damned thing in the oven where all the moisture escapes and it dries out. You braise in a frying pan on the range with the lid on, locking it in with its moisture until it’s cooked through.

      Well-done does not mean burned (which is over-done) and it doesn’t mean dry leather (convection oven cooking). It just means there is no pink in your steak.

      I don’t think anyone should put sauce on a steak unless it really is bad enough to warrant covering up the flavor, but I’m not going to turn my nose up at someone for doing it either. It’s your food. Eat it how you want.

      1. Zero Sum Game

        And, being really honest here, I don’t even think the snobbery began over flavor to begin with. A hunch tells me that chefs don’t like cooking them well-done because they take quite a bit longer and the dividing line between getting it right and ruining it is a slim margin in a busy kitchen where you can’t babysit a single dish.

        Still, some chefs do realize that you can just take a steak thick-cut for rare to medium cooking and butterfly the damned thing so it cooks faster for well-done.

      2. Hyperion

        I like well done. And rare. And everything in between. Like you were saying, it’s how you cook it that matters.

      3. Rhywun

        Food Lab guy disagrees. You’re losing a ton of moisture no matter how you cook it “well”.

        1. Zero Sum Game

          Gordon Ramsay also has nothing nice to say about it, but my give-a-fuckometer’s needle barely twitched. Nobody’s right about everything, even in fields where they’re experts. 😉

          It’s not like I’ve got bad taste buds (the common attack I get for my steak doneness preference). I’m a supertaster, and I don’t smoke.

          One way or another, it always comes down to preference. I think popcorn jellybeans are vile, and licorice jellybeans are delicious. Lots of people feel exactly the opposite (supposedly popcorn is the most popular, but tasters and nontasters comprise 75% of the population, so I take that statistic with a grain of salt).

          1. Saevus

            I always assumed popcorn was most “popular” because most people are fine buying the assortments and getting mostly fruit flavors, but the weirdos who like buttered-corn flavored jelly beans have to order the bastard flavor separately to get enough to fix.

          2. Rhywun

            I was so happy when I finally noticed Jelly Belly mixes without all the weirdo and disgusting flavors like the aforementioned popcorn.

          3. Zero Sum Game

            I, too, occasionally try to rationalize insanity. 😉

          4. Rhywun

            Brussels sprouts and many foods from the sea make me throw up. I guess that’s no worse than your bizarre taste in overdone steak 😉

          5. Zero Sum Game

            Well-done, not overdone. I don’t like my steak charred. :p

            I do, however, occasionally enjoy a hamburger just slightly charred from the grill, but the right BBQ sauce on such a burger is what makes that work. Ever so slightly bitter charring mixed with the savory and sweet flavors of the sauce can be fantastic.

  45. Rhywun

    “Day without a Woman”

    Hm. OK?

    I’ll leave the cruder jokes to you rubes.

    1. Negroni Please

      -1 woman for a day means +2 rolls of toilet paper in my house

      1. Count Potato

        I use more toilet paper without a woman.

        1. Old Man With Candy

          Not a dirty sock?

    2. Private Chipperbot

      Libertarians notice no fallout from Day Without a Woman…

      1. Hyperion

        Libertarians notice no fallout from Day Without a Woman…

        What? We had one of those? How come I still been seein wiminz?

    3. Agent Cooper

      Think of how many levels in (insert favorite video game name here) we can get through!

    4. R C Dean

      Yeah, don’t throw me into that briar patch.

    5. Brett L

      I’m encouraging my wife to refrain from shopping and to wear red (which looks good on her).

  46. Chipwooder

    German Environmental Minister Bans Meat at Official Functions

    Animal agriculture is a leading cause of climate change and environmental degradation, which is why a German ministry says it’s taking a stand for vegetarianism in a new — and controversial — ban.

    Barbara Hendricks, Germany’s environment minister, announced that her ministry would no longer be serving meat, fish or meat-derived products at official functions. Hendricks said her ministry must serve as a “role model” on environmental and sustainability issues.

    You know what other German official refused to serve meat at official functions?

    1. Suthenboy

      Banning meat in the land of sausage. Good luck with that.

      Has anyone noticed that the climate is not changing? At least not in any abnormal way. You would think after a while people might notice that the sky is not falling.

      Oh, thats easy. Martin Luther.

      1. Martin Luther served real meat instead of fish on Fridays. Gimmicky, but it really increased interest in his Reformation.

      2. TripodKat

        Near D.C. we keep getting a week of 70 degrees followed by a week of 30 degrees. This happened all February long. I have to admit it is a bit strange.

        1. This happened all February long.

          Sooooo, twice?
          /snark

          1. TripodKat

            2 or 3 times, so a bit in late January too.

    2. Haybob

      I heard they served lots of Dönitz at the weekly führer meetings… I’ll let myself out.

      1. Howabout a *narrows gaze*?

    3. Sour Kraut

      I have to concur, the vegetarianism over here among right-thinking people is getting out of hand. Especially when the sausage, with a touch of mustard and kraut…*floats into dreamworld*

    4. Rhywun

      Germany has always been about 20 years ahead of the US when it comes to enviro-derp. They were doing the multiple-bin recycling dance while we were still tossing everything together, and they were agitating to replace paper bags with plastic (!) long before we started agitating for the reverse.

  47. The Late P Brooks

    So- the Dow Jones Industrial average has been setting new closing highs for about two weeks. But it’s not *really* good news, because that might reflect well on Public Enemy Number One. So, yeah, the Dow is going up, but not by much. It’s just grinding out small steady gains; but obviously that is despite, not because of, Trump.

    And they wonder why Trump gets so much traction with the Fake News tweets.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      It means nothing (see: Tony’s constant “LOOK AT THE STOCK MARKET!” wrt Obama). But there’s a stark difference in how they’d be covering the market gains if they were happening under Obama.

      1. Chipwooder

        I’m sure shreek is still loudly proclaiming how wonderful the economy is because of the roaring stock market.

      2. Brett L

        It means something to me, I’m about to close some positions to buy a house. The difference will be enough to buy me a new house gun for my new house.

        1. Juvenile Bluster

          Meant that it means nothing with regards to whatever Trump is or isn’t doing.

  48. Gilmore

    (basks in the healing light of bullet-points)

    1. Yeah, almost two hours late, dick.

      That’s the last time you get special treatment, Gilmore!

      1. Gilmore

        (tunes out bad-vibes by focusing on the wonderful, thought-organizing blessings of bullet-points)

  49. Juvenile Bluster

    From the same site as that “privilege tax” linked above

    Taxation is not theft. It is a gift.

    Libertarians like to claim that the state is evil. But really, under capitalism, it’s our savior. Taxation makes it possible for the less fortunate to live at least slightly above the poverty line.

    It gives us the ability to travel on roads that are generally well-kept. Who’s going to voluntarily pay for roads and the ability to travel when we barely have enough money to feed ourselves?

    The state recognizes this basic fact and is willing to go through the difficult and sometimes dangerous task of collecting money on our behalf.

    The IRS and tax collectors are perhaps some of the most vilified people on this planet, but I would like to extend a great debt of gratitude to these individuals for the service they provide.

    Without them, our cars would be useless, our houses would burn, security would be non-existent, and ghettos would be par for the course.

    This has to be a joke, right?

    1. straffinrun

      I wonder if the guy is being audited.

    2. tarran

      Sadly, it’s not a joke. They think without a strongman forcing people to do the “right” thing, only bad things would happen. It says more about their attitude towards their fellow humans than anything else.

      1. They’re projecting. Same as the people that say “if somebody harmed a family member and I was armed, I’d shoot them rather than let the justice system run its course. Therefore nobody should have a gun.”

        They’re psychopaths and expect everybody else to be as psychopathic as them. Therefore, they fear individual liberty and desire a strongman to keep them and the rest of the crazies that only exist in their mind, in check.

        1. Suthenboy

          ^This. It says a lot about them, not us.

          1. John Titor

            It’s satire guys.

          2. tarran

            The article – which I totally didn’t read – might be satire, but that sentiment appears weekly in my facebook feed.

          3. Maybe this piece is, but I’m speaking about stuff I’ve seen in mainstream publications. And blogs that aren’t satire.

            Like this one: http://www.xojane.com/issues/im-for-gun-control-because-i-almost-bought-a-gun-to-kill-myself

          4. Suthenboy

            Actually Sloop that looks more like satire than the actual satire one. I cant really tell anymore. This is what happens when widespread mental illness becomes a political and social movement.

      2. Volren

        I still haven’t heard a plausible answer as to why, if we are all so terrible to one another, the chosen enforcers are somehow miraculously going to be virtuous. Just once I’d like them to be honest and admit they just want to put a boot on someone’s head, or failing that, vicariously live through someone else doing it.

    3. leonadasiv

      Yas I believe the website us a parody. They do well because it’s so hard to tell.

    4. Grumbletarian

      At least the comments are almost enitrely derp-free so far.

    5. Vida Hobo

      I wish I hadn’t read that. The government offers services? And maybe you’d have more than enough money to feed yourself if you weren’t forking over 40% to your rulers.

    6. R C Dean

      Oddly, the roads around my house are privately owned and maintained, my fire department is a private organization that I pay an annual subscription to, and my security is top-notch because I have dogs, guns, a variety of edged weapons, the good sense to avoid violent idiots, and a bad attitude.

    7. John Titor

      Look at the other article titles:

      WHEN A KISS ISN’T SO SIMPLE: HOW I WAS RAPED BY A KISS.

      SUICIDE: THE ONLY WAY TO TRULY ESCAPE PRIVILEGE?

      THINGS NORTH KOREA GETS RIGHT: RESPECTING THE FLAG IS LAW

      Title is ‘WeXplain’

      I’m going with Poe.

    8. Hyperion

      Well, it is a gift, to politicians and bureaucrats, aka rent seekers.

  50. The Late P Brooks

    Is that a Mr. Hanky reference?

    Gadzooks, what an uncultured buffoon you are.

    Number Two laughs

    1. Old Man With Candy

      Mine was funnier.

  51. The Late P Brooks

    Oh, for fuck’s sake. Now Larry Summers is on, talking about how the stock market looks just like it did when Herbert Hoover was President.

    If you wish hard enough, we’ll have another depression, Larry. You were really banking on that Council of Economic Advisors gig, weren’t you?

    1. leonadasiv

      If there’s another depression/recession it totally is gonna be the fault of the guy who has been in office for two months. (Definitely has nothing to do with the monetary policy pushed by progressive economists.)

    2. R C Dean

      Now Larry Summers is on, talking about how the stock market looks just like it did when Herbert Hoover was President.

      Since Trump has only been President for a month, isn’t he saying that Obama presided over a giant asset bubble?

      1. Volren

        Yeah but under Obama it could have inflated forever. Under Trump now it’s totally going to explode.

  52. The Late P Brooks

    (Definitely has nothing to do with the monetary policy pushed by progressive economists.)

    Speaking of which… it amuses me greatly to see the same people who have been rooting for Janet Yellin’s (and Bernanke’s before her) diligent efforts to inflate the currency suddenly popping up to tut-tut about the potential inflationary effect of Public Enemy Number One’s plans to throw a trillion dollars at infrastructure.

  53. The Late P Brooks

    SUICIDE: THE ONLY WAY TO TRULY ESCAPE PRIVILEGE?

    Well, if you are really that intent on escaping my privilege, go ahead and kill yourself.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      ‘Cause suicide is painless
      It brings on many changes
      And I can take or leave it if I please

      —–

      The series finale of M*A*S*H aired 34 years ago today.

      1. UnCivilServant

        That song is better without the lyrics.

        1. Chipwooder

          They were written by a 12 year old, so that makes sense.

      2. Mike Schmidt

        The series finale was a travesty. Alan Alda wrecked that show. The last few years were like his own personal soapbox.

  54. The Late P Brooks

    It’s satire guys.

    HOW CAN YOU BE SO SURE?

    1. John Titor

      It’s clearly written by some libertarian-leaning guys, or at least anti-social justice. Their articles are frankly too knowledgeable about their opponents and too self-aware with their easily debunked arguments (immediately pulling out ‘ROADZ’, talking about how a kiss is rape, going full goofy on privilege right out the bat, their right-wing parody loves North Korea because they respect the flag, etc.) to not be a Poe. There’s some really obvious tells that it’s satire, but it’s still crazy enough to fit in with the idiocy they’re mocking. Good job.

  55. Gilmore

    So, a bird flew into my office window. It wasn’t terminally-terminal-velocity, it was more like DAMN-SON!-and i figured it had learned its lesson = “avoid sky-holes”

    But no = 10 seconds later, “kthwack”. 30 seconds later, “ker-thunk”. And then 4 more times in shorter succession, and with distinctly less vigor, like it was punch-drunk but still pretending it had a shot at the title.

    Suicidal, or stubborn? I think it was a migratory bird trying to return to its flock flight, and saw the group’s reflection in the window.

    1. SugarFree

      Maybe it just knew you needed to be shit on.

      1. Gilmore

        The “AmSoc” of birds? It seems to have the same degree of success.

        1. SugarFree

          Amsoc and Tulpa are going at in the morning links in the Vaterland,

    2. bacon-magic

      It thought your pompadour was a nest.

  56. Drake

    Just poked my head in over at the old place. Holy shit.

    1. Sour Kraut

      Are you referring to the article content, or the single-digit comment numbers.

      1. Drake

        Both – it’s like Detroit.

      2. John Titor

        I do find it funny that, in regards to the ‘Muslims for Liberty’ interview, which actually has some good content, is actively delegitimized by Dalmia’s presence on the site. Hell, they’d be better off with a non-libertarian like Tarek Fatah who actively defends free speech than Dalmia.

      3. DOOMco

        Yes

    2. Hyperion

      The article about how we can never repeal Obamacare because healthcare is complicated is like something straight out of Salon. The comments are on the same level.

      1. R C Dean

        Its like they are trying to develop a weird brand of Big State Libertarianism for Woke People or something.

    3. Chipwooder

      What, you don’t appreciate the wit displayed by comments such as this?

      Tronald_Dump|2.28.17 @ 10:40AM|#

      Durr hurr durr hurr huur durr hurr EMAILS hurr duurr OBAMACARE hurr hurr durr durr WALL hurr durr CROOKED hurr durr durr durr HURR EMAILS!

      1. DOOMco

        There are a few morons.
        Id love to be in the next board meeting. Fly on the wall style.

      2. Hyperion

        It’s like they’re back to the days of crayon.

      3. Hyperion

        The only thing I can guess is that their big donors are a confused lot with an identity crisis.

        ‘I want muh liberty and only BIG government can give it to me!’

  57. R C Dean

    Welp, we got a political update at a Board meeting recently, delivered by a pretty lockstep Dem. I thought it was interesting that the usual nostrums on why OCare repeal is bad, how it will cost jobs, blah blah blah were challenged by some of our Board members. I doubt they would have done so a year ago. I think Trump is definitely widening the Overton Window, and making it more socially acceptable to say things like “You mean the CEO of a healthcare company really said that he would have to lay off 1/4 of his workers if OCare is repealed? Looking at our books, our operating margin is a little better than it was, but isn’t that mostly the economy?” and “Looking at that chart, I see it shows cuts to hospital reimbursement going back to 2007 and it looks like it just projects existing cuts into the future. How many new cuts are being proposed?” (Answer: “Well, so far, none.”)

    And of course, we see that the “public” oppo to repeal is the usual paid agitators and astroturf.

    Obamascare: 60% of online Obamacare defenders ‘paid to post’ hits on critics

    A majority of online and social media defenders of Obamacare are professionals who are “paid to post,” according to a digital expert.

    “Sixty percent of all the posts were made from 100 profiles, posting between the hours of 9 and 5 Pacific Time,” said Michael Brown. “They were paid to post.”

    1. The Fusionist

      Therefore, if Obamacare were repealed, jobs *would* be lost. QED.

    2. Agent Cooper

      Sorry, you just quoted an unnamed digital “expert.”

      1. R C Dean

        Not sorry he’s named in the next sentence.

  58. The Late P Brooks

    Signs of the Apocalypse, 2/28/17

    Wilb- ahem- BILLIONAIRE Wilbur Ross was just sworn in as Commerce Secretary.

    1. The Fusionist

      Trump should appoint some unemployed Occupy Wall Street protester. Those guys know exactly what’s wrong with the economy and have the cardboard signs to prove it.

  59. Glitterstorm

    We should have a March Madness style bracket for most unconstitutional Federal agencies. Inb4 “They’re ALL UNCONSTITUTIONAL”

    1. DOOMco

      Good idea.

    2. robc

      I don’t think any of the agencies are unconstitutional. Just what they do.

  60. Zero Sum Game

    When the left’s darling comedian “reporter” thinks the media’s gone off the deep end. 😀

    Jon Stewart tells media to ‘take up a hobby’ after Trump breakup: ‘I recommend journalism’

    1. If the cynical Trump voting bloc (i.e. people who voted for Trump as part of a strategy) have to own that they’ve created a monster, then surely the Jon Stewarts of the world have to look at the media and the marches and the Woke Twitter Brigade and feel just a touch of shame and regret.

  61. Gilmore

    File Under = Repeat Offender

    Woman who drove with man body on windshield gets 25 to life

    “In”, “On”, meh. same difference.

    A California substance-abuse counselor who hit a man with her car and drove two miles with his body embedded in her windshield was sentenced Thursday to 25 years to life in prison….. She drove more than two miles with his half-naked body embedded in the windshield and his upper body face down on the hood before other drivers confronted her at a stoplight, according to court records….. Wilkins drank three shots of vodka and a beer in her car before driving but the defense argued there hadn’t been enough time for her blood-alcohol level to exceed the legal limit of .08.

    I feel like the part about her being a ‘substance-abuse counselor’ should probably have been located closer to the part about her “Starting her car and doing vodka shots”, but whatever, compared to the following, it hardly matters… –

    The detail that gave me a neck-breaking double-take =

    “….Wilkins, 55, had been found guilty at a 2014 trial on similar charges….”

    “MOM!! NOT AGAIN??”

    I’m just wondering what might qualify as “similar”. Less dead? Only partially-embedded in the grille?

    1. Agent Cooper

      but an appeals court last year threw out the conviction because her entire criminal history had been admitted at trial and could have prejudiced the jury.

      Well, the guy in the windshield would’ve been glad to hear that, I’m sure.

    2. Rhywun

      She must have “worked her way” through half the law enforcement apparatus in that town in order to get away with it the first time.

    3. Agent Cooper

      AP with the strong style headline of “man body”

      Editors … what the fuck do they do?

    4. Chipwooder

      She’s just a really big fan of the second season of Fargo.

    5. LT_Fish

      Pretty sure they made a movie about her…..No…I guess it was an earlier “similar” case.

      Either way, how was she 1. not in prison and 2. behind the wheel at all? Isn’t that the kind of thing where they shred your license?

      That appeals court decision is total BS: “Wilkins, 55, had been found guilty at a 2014 trial on similar charges but an appeals court last year threw out the conviction because her entire criminal history had been admitted at trial and could have prejudiced the jury.”

      No civil follow-up at all? WTF?

  62. This Machine

    So I guess Alabama is taking a step towards separating marriage and the State entirely:

    The legislation would abolish all requirements to obtain a marriage license in Alabama. Instead, probate judges would simply record civil contracts of marriage between two individuals based on signed affidavits.

    The proposed law would maintain a few state requirements governing marriage. Minors between the ages of 16 and 18 would have to obtain parental permission before marrying, the state would not record a marriage if either party was already married, and the parties could not be related by blood or adoption as already stipulated in state law.

    Those damned southern Christian hillbilly bigot homophobes are invalidating the rights of-

    Sorry, I just can’t derp that hard today. Good news at any rate, I hope the bill passes and maybe we start to see a rollback in the marriage insanity.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Why on earth could someone have a problem with that? Seems an excellent idea.

      1. Southrons are doing it, so it must somehow be racist/sexist/homophobic/hydrophobic

        1. Agent Cooper

          It’s a socon effort to not recognize same-sex marriage, but the end result is Libertarian-y enough I think it’s a good idea.

    2. DOOMco

      Good on them!

      1. Hyperion

        I’m starting to read something into this. Probably wishful thinking. But, maybe libertarians finally get their way on lots of things by just sitting back and watching both sides do libertarian things out of spite for the other side?

        Leftists: We’re going to legalize all drugs because we hate you conservatives! Take that!

        Conservatives: Oh yeah, well we’re going to get the government out of marriage and consensual contracts because we hate you lefties!

        This has real promise.

        1. R C Dean

          Well, Allah knows they won’t do the right thing for the right reasons. Doing the right thing for the wrong reasons is our best bet.

    3. robc

      That is a pretty small step.

      One question though, are terms allowed in the contract? Can the couple remove the right to a no-fault divorce, for example?

  63. Ken Shultz

    AM links have been up for 3 hours at that other site–still less than 100 comments.

    Here’s a supposition: Suppose Soros (or someone else) gave them a ton of money to turn hard left.

    That would explain it.

    And there really must be a better explanation than just that they lost their freakin’ minds, right?

    1. R C Dean

      I think, given where they live and who they are around all the time, they just got assimilated into the Media Borg. In political media circles, they just became . . . ordinary. They obsess over the Fake Nooz/Twitter Outrage of the Day. Much (not all) of their programming is driven by the Journolist talking points – either propagating them more or less uncritically, or, to be sure, propagating them semi-critically.

      1. Cliche Bandit

        to be sure

        NICE!

    2. I don’t like it, but there it is. Sometimes, when you stand on principle, everyone abandons you. Make certain it’s a principle worth standing for, I guess.

    3. Hyperion

      Guessing that their big donors have an agenda and they are towing that lion. See my comment upthread.

  64. R C Dean

    The next women’s march is in the planning stage. This one is gonna be more along the lines of a general strike though. Oh, and don’t make the planner angry. You wouldn’t like her when she’s angry

    I think the best example of the dishonesty of DemOp Media is their whitewashing of all the lefty protest/riots. They minimize the violence, they edit out the nutter/commie participants, they ignore the organized funding, they elide the foul backgrounds and statements of speakers and organizers.

    1. Rhywun

      The mayor and city council speaker of NYC are both full-on, terror-wistful, wish-we-were-Venezuela communists but you would never know that if you only paid attention to the MSM.

  65. Chipwooder

    OK, the gloves are off now with those fucking hippies who protested the Dakota pipeline. They’ve crossed a line!

    Two dogs and six puppies were found and rescued at the main Dakota Access Pipeline Camp by furry Friends Rockin Rescue. The rescue has been working hard to catch ALL the animals that were left behind at the camp, but Furry Friends Rockin Rescue isn’t giving up on these abandoned pets.

    Scumbags.

    1. Hyperion

      Dicks out for the unnamed puppies!

    2. R C Dean

      And some of the dogs had frickin’ frostbite.

      1. Chipwooder

        Yup. The assholes who did it should be turned out into the Dakota backcountry with nothing but their Birkenstocks for a few days, see how they like it.

  66. Jimbo

    What happened? I’ve been watching Porky Pig for the past 3 hours.

    1. Now THAT’S funny.