Belly Up to the Bar

Cocktail of the Week – The Panacea

By RC Dean

This week’s libation is the Panacea, which is one of my favorite cold-weather drinks and the one Mrs. Dean “requests” when she is feeling under the weather. It’s made with a honey/ginger/lemon syrup, so it’s quite effective on a scratchy throat. If the first one doesn’t cure what ails ya, the second one will ensure you stop caring. Trigger warning: what with the honey, this is a sweet drink.

I know, I know, it’s one of those froofy artisanal drinks that you have to make the mixer yourself. Tough – the ingredients are universally available and it’s easy to make. I keep my Panacea syrup in an empty bourbon bottle, of which I am sure the Glibertariat will have an ample supply.

Panacea Mixer/Syrup:

Simmer in a small pot for 10 – 15 minutes (looking for a thickish syrup)

1 cup honey

1 cup water

½ cup minced or shredded ginger

Strain through a fine sieve, toss the ginger solids left behind. Stir in:

¾ cup lemon juice

Keep refrigerated. Pro-tip: put it in the fridge before your third refill to avoid unfortunate and very sticky accidents (no euphemism).

 

The Panacea

3 oz blended scotch (I like either Black Grouse or Dewar’s Scratched Cask)

2 – 3 oz. of Panacea Mixer (I go 2 oz., Mrs. Dean prefers 3 oz.)

Pour the blended scotch over rocks, add the Panacea Mixer, stir, and add a “lid” of smoky, smoky single malt (I’m an Islay guy for single malts). You can get a lid by angling a spoon upside down so the tip is just under the surface and slowly pouring a little of the single malt onto the back of the spoon so it floats on the drink itself. It gives the drink a smokier nose, and more of a scotch hit when you start guzzling. The lid is optional (Mrs. Dean prefers not).

This is a favorite with non-scotch drinkers, especially without the lid – the honey/ginger/lemon syrup does an excellent job of cutting the scotch flavor for those unfortunates who don’t recognize it as the drink of the gods. When I take a bottle of the syrup with me on cold-weather outings, it never lasts long.

 

Derpetologist’s Spot the Not: Translated Scientific Names

1. potato buffalo flamingo

2. the creature from the black lagoon

3. giant deformed penis

4. little chief nipple twister

5. itty bitty thing

6. Owen’s ninja turtle

 

Comments

147 responses to “Belly Up to the Bar”

  1. Zero Sum Game

    No alt text, especially on the second one with the obvious “pictured: cocktail” pun? Son, I am disappoint.

  2. This Machine

    Gonna say 2) is the Not.

    1. Gilmore

      seconded

  3. westernsloper

    My guess 3

    The drink sounds good, thanks.

    1. egould310

      Yeah. I like the single malt float on top. That there is a proper cocktail.

      1. westernsloper

        I have only made cocktails that involve a shaker. I want to try this one. I am trying to get me sum cultur.

        1. egould310

          Mak it. Get outside your comfort zone. It sounds like a nice recipe, and the ladies eill think you’re a “mixologist”. ??????

        2. Nephilium

          Well, what do you prefer flavor wise? Some very simple ones that don’t need a shaker include the original Old Fashion:

          Take a sugar cube, put 2-3 drops of bitters on it.
          Add 2 oz. bourbon
          Muddle the sugar cube into the bourbon
          Add a maraschino cherry if you really need it.
          Drink and enjoy.

  4. This Machine

    Heading to the snowy peaks of Utah next weekend. Will definitely have to try the Panacea when I’m out there. Been in the 70s and sunny almost all winter here in the Panhandle, gonna need something to keep the cold away.

    1. westernsloper

      Where are you headed in Utah? There is some top shelf skiing there.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        I spent 6 years haunting Snowbird and Alta.

        1. westernsloper

          Nice. My last ex-girlfriend was a Utah girl. Snowbird she took me to, I have never been to Alta, but heard good things.

          1. Old Man With Candy

            I was too poor for Park City, and WAY too poor for Deer Valley. Still, top drawer skiing.

          2. westernsloper

            Ya, me too now. Skiing has gotten idiotic expensive.

      2. This Machine

        Where are you headed in Utah? There is some top shelf skiing there.

        Not really sure yet, meeting my buddies at some posh cabin up in the mountains and I don’t have the addy yet. Also I’m not much of a skier/snowboarder, but I’m a huge fan of getting drunk with old friends from college. So away I go!

        1. westernsloper

          That is always fun. Enjoy.

          1. This Machine

            Thanks, man. Spent four years in CO but never learned how to do snow sports. Just always seemed like an expensive hobby.

          2. dbleagle

            Try cross country or back country skiing then if you want a great winter sports experience at a much more “reasonable” price point. XC is a workout while you are learning but once you get the technique basics down it is still a workout but much less anguish involved.

            Plus you can take up biathlon to ski and shoot together.

          3. Nephilium

            My parents tried to take me cross country skiing as a kid, and there was nothing more terrible then that. It’s cold, you need to wear terrible clothes, and all you do is move your legs back and forth for multiple hours.

  5. quincy

    4) the only name that tells you what it does, rather than what it is.

  6. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Imma go with 4

  7. Mike Schmidt

    I’ll say 4 as well.

    And thanks for The Panacea. I’m not a scotch guy, so I think I’ll try it with bourbon, AKA; the drink of the gods.

  8. DenverJ

    2

  9. commodious spittoon

    One of the concoctions I quite enjoy:

    glass with ice
    squirt of bottled lemon juice
    fifteen count gin
    top off with some tonic water (diet, natch)

    1. westernsloper

      15 count? Wouldn’t it be easier to make 2 marks on the bottle?

      1. commodious spittoon

        See, that’s why I buy the handles. By the time you realize you’re pouring heavy, it’s lights out.

    2. Lachowsky

      Since we are doing drink recipes.

      SMOOTHEST SOUTHERN WHISKEY

      Two pounds of corn sugar per gallon of water. 2 to 4 oz of yeast per ten gallon batch. Warm up part of the water only warm enough to disolve the corn sugar. Finish adding cool water to help cool down the mash to 80 degrees. Add yeast at 80 degrees and let ferment for 7 to 14 days and distill. This recipe has no foul after taste. It is smooth all the way through. More corn sugar can be added if you are using a Turbo yeast. You can order 50 lb sacks of corn sugar on the internet and it can also be purchased through bakerys, restaurant supplies and etc…

      1. westernsloper

        What is the “distill” step? Doesn’t that require some crazy plumbing contraption? Like in MASH?

        1. Lachowsky

          I don’t advocate doing anything that may or may not be lawful in your particular jurisdiction.

          That said, distilling isn’t particularly difficult. I know some old boys that live a little north of me who can barely read and write. They have managed to figure out the process. I bet you can too.

          1. westernsloper

            Ya, I am sure I could. I will probably go home brew beer before setting up a distilling operation. And I fully advocate doing anything that may not be lawful in ones particular jurisdiction. NAP approved of course.

  10. Tundra

    4.

    It was my nickname in college.

    1. straffinrun

      *Spins arrow* Right nipple blue, left nipple yellow. Nipple twister favors the older ladies.

      1. Tundra

        Oh good, you’re here. There was a story out of Japan about a dude being crushed by his extensive collection of pr0n.

        We were worried.

        1. westernsloper

          I saw that story, but it said the dude was 50. I didn’t think sraffin was that old. And it didn’t mention multiple pairs of rubber shoes.

          1. Tundra

            50 is not that old.

          2. westernsloper

            I’m 51. I feel pretty fucking old. I wasn’t trying to imply that is old to everyone. I just assumed straffin was younger than me.

          3. commodious spittoon

            Straffin’s been there since World War numero dos. That’s right, he’s pushing centennial.

          4. Tundra

            I’m turning 50 this year and I agree with you. I don’t really give a fuck, but it sure was nice to heal fast, wasn’t it?

          5. westernsloper

            No wonder he is always hitting on his mother in law. Ok, I was not putting that all together.

          6. westernsloper

            but it sure was nice to heal fast, wasn’t it?

            Yes. It is getting ridiculous at this point.

          7. straffinrun

            I’m late 40’s. The bad puns are my tell.

          8. Not an Economist

            Just take care of your joints — it ain’t any fun getting them replaced once … or twice.

          9. westernsloper

            Just take care of your joints

            A little late for that.

          10. Gustave Lytton

            I’m late 40’s. The bad puns are my tell.

            Old enough for oyaji gyagu?

          11. DOOMco

            25 and my knee is shot.
            One really bad ski racing accident will do that.

          12. commodious spittoon

            50 is not that old.

            I went hiking with dad today. His idea, we used to run but it gives me shin splints. He lives up in the foothills, and his upper deck opens out onto the cliffside, so we can get right into the hike. Not a big problem for either of us, although we’re both a little out of shape. A good three hours hiking up toward south Sandia peak, not that we got anywhere close, but a lot of that was hunting for decent paths up the rocks. Managed to plant my hand in cactus when I slipped on some months-old snow pack. Watched a paraglider circle around the entire time. Seems like loads of fun. Anyway, his knees hurt for awhile on the descent and my ankle was giving me issues, but all in all it was a satisfying hike. He’s 57, I just turned 30. My dad is not old. He’s hitting his prime.

          13. Suthenboy

            When my father was 70 he was still spending the day carrying a chainsaw, 2 gallon water jug, machete, backpack (20 lbs), and his lunch. He could spend all day in the woods cutting trees, hiking, chopping vines and brush with the machete, etc. He could tend about 1.5 acres in a day (cut out sweet gums, ironwoods, elderberry, remove honeysuckle and saw briar from oak tops). He has since become diabetic and cant come close to that anymore, but he can still cover a few miles just hiking.

            I am not aging as well. I am not able to go that long and I am 20 years younger than he is.

          14. commodious spittoon

            Genetics is a bitch. But I think Gary Taubes has some worthwhile knowledge you could find interesting. Watch his google talk video. It’s brilliant.

          15. Tundra

            I play hockey with a dude who is 72. He’s out there with guys in their 20s. My dad, 74, just got back from a trip to Argentina. Before he got a new knee, he played basketball three times a week. Now, it’s just once or twice.

            Yes, some aspects of being older sucks, but the physical challenges are kind of fun.

        2. straffinrun

          I have a library of porn that makes Alexandria look like a book mobile. It’s a mental library, so the only thing it crushes is my soul.

          1. commodious spittoon

            You can differentiate between all them Asian broads?

          2. straffinrun

            I thought she was you, honey. It’s not my fault.

          3. commodious spittoon

            I did in fact get away with this once. Kinda. I’m not proud of it. But I told her I’d gotten so plastered with my roommate that I didn’t realize she wasn’t my girlfriend.

  11. Nephilium

    That actually looks very similar to a recipe I’ve got for home made ginger ale (minus the yeast and fermentation of course). Have you tried replacing half the lemon juice with lime juice?

    1. R C Dean

      No. I find that lemon and lime really don’t substitute in cocktails. I haven’t tried on this one; give it ago and let us know how it turns out.

      1. Nephilium

        Will do, it’s not a matter of lemon and lime as substitutes, as much as they are accents for ginger.

  12. straffinrun

    Scientific names of what? STDs? Politicians?

    1. quincy

      Yes?

    1. Zero Sum Game

      lol. Can’t even tell if that guy is serious because he deadpans it so well. But that was some grade-A triggering. 10/10 would laugh again.

      1. straffinrun

        I’m gonna assume you were joking when you said Shibuya prefecture.

        1. Zero Sum Game

          Of course. The girls there are undoubtedly too thin for HM’s taste. Japanese girls are not known for having booty.

          1. straffinrun

            I meant Shibuya is not a prefecture. It’s in Tokyo-to (prefecture).

          2. Zero Sum Game

            Ah. That phrase still generates a shit ton of hits on Google, and I’ve definitely heard it referred to that way. Obviously I don’t live there, so I had no idea.

          3. straffinrun

            It’s cool. I ask kids here to name three U.S. states and I get, “California, Miami and Los Angeles.”

        2. BakedPenguin

          I’m gonna assume you were joking when you said Shibuya prefecture.

          Nigata, please!

    2. AlmightyJB

      Looks like everyone was getting a good laugh out of it.

    1. westernsloper

      Why does it look like everyone on the cover had a stroke? Did W get a 60 mil advance for that like another ex pres?

  13. Gilmore

    1) Whiskey
    2) ice cube*

    *optional

    repeat until horizontal

    1. Mike Schmidt

      No that is my kind of cocktail. In fact, I’m on #2 right now

  14. westernsloper

    Surely this was brought up by someone, but I think Uber skating around regulators to be an awesome thing.

    In a statement, Uber said, “This program denies ride requests to users who are violating our terms of service — whether that’s people aiming to physically harm drivers, competitors looking to disrupt our operations, or opponents who collude with officials on secret ‘stings’ meant to entrap drivers.”

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      I’d be much happier with them if they didn’t willingly cooperate with the authorities when they thought it made them look good (see: Their willing participation in sex trafficking hysteria)

      1. westernsloper

        While I agree, there may be a bit of hysteria about the level of human trafficking (at least in the states), was the case where the Uber dude called in the people selling the 16 year old girl a hoax? (that is an honest question, I thought it was the real deal) I don’t think having a company policy of encouraging their contractors to be aware of assholes taking advantage of minors as such a bad thing.

        If your point is they pick and choose how they cooperate, I guess I can see that.

  15. SIV

    I’m probably more pro-religion than 99+ % of agnostics but sometimes I lose my tolerance for so-called Christian morality.

    1. AlmightyJB

      “accidentally became pregnant ”

      I totally tripped and fell on that dick and bounced several times.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        To be fair, condoms break.

        1. AlmightyJB

          I know man, those magnums just aren’t big enough.

        2. thrakkorzog

          It seems like becoming a single parent while in divinity school should result in an automatic F.

          1. __Warren__

            On the Letterman’s jacket!

    2. Viking1865

      What do Episcopalians have to do with Christianity?

  16. straffinrun

    Hello, hello, hello. Is there anybody out there? Just nod if you can hear me. Wait, uh, actually you may want to type that.

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      HELLO! MY NAME HEROIC MULATTO AND IF YOU CAN’T REMEMBER THAT THEN REMEMBER THESE NUTS!!!! TEA BAG DEM HOES.

      1. commodious spittoon

        That seems awfully disrespectful and I have to question whether those hoes agreed to that treatment at all.

          1. Mike Schmidt

            Tea bag may be the movement, but

            GREASE IS THE WORD!

          2. Heroic Mulatto
          3. straffinrun

            I feel a little thicc.

    2. AlmightyJB

      I’m out here but just got home from bar and getting ready to crash.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Started out the evening with this which I highly recommend.

        https://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/45/184617/

    3. Mike Schmidt

      *Nods as if I can hear him*

  17. Suthenboy

    Yeah, I am here straffin but worn the fuck out. I have been standing in front of a table saw all day. Plus I just took an ambien so I will probably last another ten minutes and you probably dont want to hear the wierdo shit I say when I am floating on an ambien. Oh, wait, the weird shit is when I am not on an ambien, so it would be worse.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Just so long as you don’t stand in front of a table saw while you’re on ambien.

    2. No; we do want to hear your weirdo shit.

      It can’t be as weird as Agile.

  18. AlmightyJB

    Why are my post timestamps not EST? What sort of devil witchcraft is this!

    1. Mike Schmidt

      Bro, don’t you even CST?!

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        I live in EST, but I self identify as a person who lives in MST. Use of CST is offensive.

      2. AlmightyJB

        CST is for commoners. I feel dirty.

        1. Mike Schmidt

          Quit othering me, slavers!

      1. thrakkorzog

        WTF did I just watch?

    2. It should all be in UTC.

  19. __Warren__

    Can I propose a new Iron Rule?

    If something in the realm of human activity, no matter how horrible, persists then someone is benefiting from it. And they will do everything in their power to keep it going.

    1. DenverJ

      You know who else enabled horrible human activity?

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        This website’s founders?

      2. westernsloper

        People who take their kids to the airport for travel wearing those shoes with the skates in the bottom?

      3. Mike Schmidt

        Jim Jones?

      4. thrakkorzog

        Joe Paterno?

    2. straffinrun

      If I admit and atone it wii cost me my throne.

  20. Heroic Mulatto

    So, I heard the new Zelda game is pretty much an open-world survival sandbox:

    1. Gustave Lytton

      That gif will always be Mike M reacting to the news of Obama’s election.

    2. This Machine

      YOU LIE!

      *tries to speak through sobs, fails*

    3. westernsloper

      Of all the things HM has linked to, and or posted that was disturbing, this GIF is the worst.

      1. Mike Schmidt

        Indeed. What is the true story behind that gif?

        Anybody? Bueller?

        1. westernsloper

          The election of orange hitler. I remember it. Idiot looked at the camera to make sure they were still filming him/her.

          1. Mike Schmidt

            Was this moron hoping for a last second assassination? I mean, what was with the “prayerful” pose? The derp is strong with this one

      2. And, like most GIFs substituting for video, an unfunny waste of bandwidth.

        1. WRONG!

          In this case, at least.

    4. straffinrun

      Primal Scream better not cover that.

    1. Mike Schmidt

      Unmask him! Unmask him!

  21. BakedPenguin

    For no reason: Raquel Welch as Linda Ronstadt: Different Drum

  22. westernsloper

    So when do we get the answer for the not? I went number three, giant deformed penis, due to the picture across the page of penis shaped habenero peppers. But my choice may have been influenced by the fur friday post.

    1. straffinrun

      When you shuffle off your mortal coil. Will you dream? Just sleep? If you knew the answer you’d have to become a determinist.

      1. westernsloper

        That is a little deep for 1006 pm in the proper time zone. And you made me search the meaning of determinist. I have no answer.

  23. straffinrun

    Columbines were the symbol of ingratitude. Now I understand the slaughter.

    1. Mike Schmidt

      These two sentences say it all:

      We fully support the core liberal arts principle that contact with other intellectual viewpoints and life experiences than one’s own is integral to a beneficial education.

      However, in this case we find the principle does not apply …

      1. Gilmore

        We fully support the core liberal arts principle …. in this case we find the principle does not apply …

        what’s shameful here is not that these people resort to such absurd rhetorical contortions – but rather that the average college-graduate these days would be unable to tell you exactly what was wrong with question-begging gibberish like the below =

        If Dr. Murray’s scholarship is of blatantly dreadful quality — and we hold, along with so many of his colleagues, that it is — then what is the point of “debating” his views? How, and why, does one go about arguing in good faith with a scholar whose entire intellectual premise consists of what are now being called, incredibly, “alternative facts”? Since Dr. Murray’s views are not worth engaging on these grounds, this can hardly be called an occasion for open, rigorous academic debate.

        Notice the magic trick where an assertion in one sentence is treated as already-proven in the next

        1. one true athena

          97% of his colleagues have a consensus! You can’t debate something that’s settled, obviously, what would be the point?

          (/s – just in case)

    2. straffinrun

      That is disgusting. Mob mentality at its finest.

  24. Derpetologist

    1 is the Not. That is a creature I made up when I was 12. It’s a cross between a potato, a buffalo, and a flamingo called a potuffalomingo.

    The name amorphophallus titania (giant deformed penis) is the scientific name of the corpse blossom, a tropical plant that emits an overpowering stench when it blooms.

    I saw it listed as the active ingredient in a a weight loss medicine commercial a few years ago. I laughed.

    1. Sour Kraut

      Which one is Black Lagoon?

      1. Derpetologist

        from wiki:

        When paleontologist Jenny Clack of the University of Cambridge discovered a fossilized amphibian in what was once a fetid swamp, she named it Eucritta melanolimnetes, which is Greek for “the true creature from the black lagoon.”

    2. thrakkorzog

      I have to ask, what are the others?

  25. Sour Kraut

    While I normally detest Krauthammer

    /virtuesignal

    he seems to have dug deep and written a pretty cool article for IBD:

    http://www.investors.com/politics/columnists/charles-krauthammer-revolt-of-the-attorneys-general/

    1. Sour Kraut

      Regardless of your party or policy preferences, you must admit we are witnessing a remarkable phenomenon: the organic response of a constitutional system in which the traditional barriers to overreach have atrophied and a new check-and-balance emerges almost ex nihilo.

    2. thrakkorzog

      I like Krauthammer. He is one of a handful of opinion journalists that seems like he has more than two brain cells to rub together. Even when I disagree with him, he doesn’t come off as somebody regurgitating party talking points, he capable of generating original thoughts of his own. Ditto Camille Paglia, but with the word genders swapped, although I doubt she would care. She’s got a brass pair on her.

      Let’s put it this way, if I got stuck on celebrity Jeopardy with Wolf Blitzer and Shep Smith, I think I could beat them easily. Against Krauthammer and Paglia, I might have a shot if I got lucky with the Daily Doubles, but other than that, I’d be screwed.

  26. trshmnstr

    I’m cooking up some sourdough this morning. The first loaves I made from this starter sucked, primarily because I rushed it, but also because I didn’t use enough starter or salt. I tried a bite of dough today before sticking it into the oven, and these ones are gonna be a ton better. I just minced up a bunch of garlic and folded it into the second one, so I hope it makes a good garlic bread.

  27. trshmnstr

    Tap the Trump

    Continuing his rant on his personal social media account, Trump wrote: “I’d bet a good lawyer could make a great case out of the fact that President Obama was tapping my phones in October, just prior to Election!”

  28. PapayaSF

    My new gf introduced me to Vesper martinis, which I am enjoying.

    http://www.jamesbondlifestyle.com/product/vesper-martini