Tuesday Morning Links

I’m struggling with an intro here.  I’ll quickly bring up the fact that the Capitals got back in their series (barely) after knocking Crosby out. And I’ll also mention that the Rockets absolutely thumped the Spurs to open their series, even though we all know the NBA Playoffs are equal parts basketball and equal parts WWF when it comes to series beginnings vs endings. So I won’t be holding my breath that it continues that way.

Paul Ryan – Budget Specialist

Anyhow, we are moving past Monday.  And the second chapter of this workweek begins with…the links!

Paul Ryan has convinced me that he’s a Manchurian Democrat.  There’s no other way to explain a budget that Obama himself wouldn’t have dared to propose when he was sitting in the White House (pondering over the beauty of the Washington and Lincoln Memorials from the Truman Balcony, as he said in his latest $400,000 speech).

Well, we might get to see the Fast and Furious documents after all. But I doubt many of them have escaped the dreaded computer crashes and shredded accidents that tended to plague other Obama officials when they were subject to oversight.

You mean the left is closed-minded when it comes to an open debate on their ideas?  Harsanyi says no shit, Sherlock.

Colorado hippies look to prevent college from competing with other universities.  To paraphrase Melissa Click Eric Cartman, “can I get some muscle Slayer over here?”

Political infighting in The Pine Tree State.

Feline Pretty Good!

Baylor University fraternity suspended for doing what fraternities do. Hopefully the school is punishing them for not knowing how to read a calendar or for failing at basic knowledge of foreign languages. But I suspect that’s not it.

The policeman’s story that the car he shot into, killing a 15 year old,  was driving toward him was not true, according to the local police chief. The killing has been ruled a homicide. The local D.A. and “police integrity unit” are both looking into the matter while the unnamed officer is on leave.

Music from Delaware? It’s a thing. Or at least it was a generation ago.

Comments

382 responses to “Tuesday Morning Links”

  1. Tequila + me = a bad idea. And with my *secret powers, especially bad.

    *I don’t black out when I drink but can remember every single detail of my stupidity.

    1. straffinrun

      I can see you dancing on the bar to that song.

    2. Trials and Trippelations

      I thought I was that way… then I met a fellow missionary serving in another city in Slovakia and the two of us drank with a Slovak friend of his while living in Slovakia. The trouble started with the Slovak’s wife being a good Slovak wife and making sure our glasses were never empty, I definitely blacked out. I was told I screamed the Slovak equivalent of pussy or cunt repeatedly at 1am in front of a pastor’s apartment, declined to continue drinking in town, emphasized that I needed to brush my teeth (i remember that), and passed out in the wrong bed

      1. JaimeRoberto

        Ty pica.

    3. Bobarian LMD

      My body will no longer allow me to drink tequila. One bad night.

      It is now nearly as effective as Ipecac.

    4. ElspethFlashman

      Last blackout I had was from tequila. But I still like it! I just have to stop at two.

      1. Tundra

        *pours tequila*

        1. Entropy Void

          I can only drink Tequila as Patron XO Cafe being part of that concoction known in some parts as a “Baby Guinness”.

      2. Gustave Lytton

        I only had two!

        *holds up open hand with all fingers extended*

    5. Raston Bot

      Dave Attell:

      I’m drinking Jack and I started blackin out. You ever black out? Or as I call it, time travel? You ever do that? Oh yeah! You know how it is — you’re drinking, you black out. You wake up, you’re in another bar. You’re drinking, you black out. You wake up, you’re playing that knife game with a half-Indian somewhere in North Dakota, “Yeah! Yeah! Winner fixes the tranny! Yeah”. You’re drinking, you black out. You wake up, you’re in White Castle — working there 3 years, STILL not assistant manager. Your buddies tell you to quit, but you can’t ’cause you’re banging the slow girl on the fry-o-later. They say she’s a little retarded, but those titties ain’t retarded!

  2. Pomp

    Ahh, May 2nd. Let’s see what doughey North Korea apologist Judge Juche on twitter had to say yesterday: I noticed that he has replaced out his previous twitter avatar dorm room selfie featuring Abercrombie & Fitch sweatpants, which is a shame because mommy and daddy paid good money for that sweatshop-fabricated garment.

    Damn, unfortunately not much activity. Just some Lenin and Stalin apologia brain farts. Disappointing haul today.

    GILMORE: A couple days ago I caught the most recent War College podcast with a South Korea-based North Korea expert. The interview was interesting.

    1. Gilmore

      thanks

  3. Scruffy Nerfherder

    “I came here for the sustainability aspects of the university,” said Bearce, who is minoring in global environmental sustainability. “It’s just the hypocrisy of CSU to call itself an advocate of sustainability but it’s still encouraging the production and processing of animals. That’s the worst thing that can be done to the environment.”

    My reaction

    1. Pomp

      Suddenly I want a hamburger.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’d send her hot dogs for her birthday.

        1. Negroni Please

          Are we not doing phrasing anymore?

        2. The Last American Hero

          Using every part of the animal is being conservation minded and respectful of the animal’s sacrifice.

          Plus, restaurants that use whole animal Lips to Assholes is hip now.

    2. Tundra

      I liked this:

      Menon, a former vegetarian, says he understands critics’ arguments. However, he said CSU must meet the needs of meat eaters, who comprise 95 percent of the world’s population, and those who will provide food for them.

      Once again, a tiny minority making all the noise. How about a simple “fuck off, herbivore”?

      1. mr simple

        Not only that, but there were only 25 protesters, according to the article. Why is this even a story?

        1. Tundra

          Because we click.

          Despite our better judgement.

  4. Grumbletarian

    I remember during the ’12 election how the media touted Paul Ryan as this penny-pinching fiscal hawk. Sheesh.

    1. Yeah. He went from Randian psychopath to gigantic big-government pussy in one cycle.

      Fucking loser. This budget is the worst political thing to happen in a while.

    2. stilljustcarol

      I sent Ryan an email about the budget yesterday. I’m sure some flunky email reader got a real kick out of it but it made me feel better to vent.

      1. ElspethFlashman

        I used to do that to Carl Levin’s staff, it was futile, and led to a return email that essentially said “we read your concerns, and here is how democrat party line will help to change this issue.”

        1. stilljustcarol

          My favorite is the auto reply that asks for a donation. “We couldn’t be bothered to read your email but we sure would like to have some of your money. Click on the link below!”

          1. Entropy Void

            You got that reply from an official Congressman’s office?

            You must have emailed Rangel.

      2. one true athena

        I was a summer student intern for Senator Domenici back in the day. It was the interns’ job to read and sort the mail, and we would input the addresses for responses that the LegAsst chose for the topic. Most of it was easy – back then there were a lot of “Send this card to your legislator to tell him to not cut Social Security!” so we would get a pile of postcards, and index them. No one in the actual staff would look at them, just the count yay/nay. Anything unusual would go to the LegAssistant for that topic.

    3. Just Say’n

      He will be labeled a scrooge McDuck Randian, again. When it suits the narrative

  5. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I think Bastiat had something to say about this.

    The most lethal weapon in the Trump administration’s arsenal is the attack on truth.

    The proposed zero funding for libraries fits into a pattern to “uneducate” the American population. That’s a comment I received on Take Action for Libraries Day from a listener on Wisconsin Public Radio.

    1. WTF

      Thank God Trump isn’t defunding government food distribution, because then everyone would starve.

    2. The irony that he heard about Trump’s evil plan to “uneducate” people on public radio wasn’t lost on that dumb bastard?
      Why am I not surprised?

      1. PieInTheSKy

        Well he is going to stop some sort of Michelle Obama program for third world girls education because he hates educated humans or something. I seen it on the facebook.

    3. Microaggressor

      If he really wanted to “uneducate” people, all he would have to do is implement Bernie’s free university scheme.
      Maybe the better word is “miseducate”.

  6. straffinrun

    Did Janet Reno crash that Frat party?

    1. Somebody needed to shut it down. With all that drinking and fucking going on, they ran the risk of people starting to dance. And that’s just not done in Waco.

      1. Q: Why are Baptists against sex before marriage?

        A: It may lead to mixed dancing.

        ::guffaw:

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Different version —

          Why don’t Baptists fuck standing up?

          Someone might see em and think they were dancing.

      2. straffinrun

        “But I can’t party as a white person. The hangover of regret hits before I even drink.”

    2. Grrrrrrrrrrr! Sic ’em Bears?

  7. Older women reveal what worries them most about millennials
    Porn, social media and feminism were all flagged up

    “They accept that boys will pretty much demand all sorts of sexual activities they don’t like, or are frankly humiliating. They also objectify themselves even more than teen girls did when I was that age. They’re hyperconcerned about the shape of their labia, about the size and look of their genitals in general because there’s so much shaming. They feel obligated to shave because boys their own age have said that their public hair is ‘gross’.

    “I know some girls fight back, or don’t care, but it really affects so many of them deeply.”

    Another user, however, argued that porn isn’t the issue but rather that porn is “often the only source they [young people] have on what a sexual relationship looks like”.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Public hair is gross.

      1. commodious spittoon

        And knees.

        1. F. Stupidity Jr.

          “Cover your knees up if you’re gonna be walking.”

    2. WTF

      Older women lament that they are not as attractive to men and hate competition from younger women. News at eleven.

      1. Hammercorps

        Older generation thinks younger generation is making poor desicions. What else is new?

        1. mr simple

          But have you heard their “music”? It’s sickening.

        2. Gadfly

          It is an old complaint, but often right. Humanity tends to travel through cycles of foolishness, though more often than not a new error is merely replacing an old one, so the danger is not too great. When the errors begin to compound, that’s when you’re in for real trouble.

    3. straffinrun

      Women were invited to share the problems that younger women should be wary of in a post on the Ask Women section of Reddit.

      So you’re linking to The Independent which is reporting on a Reddit thread?

      1. Damn it, staffinrun, I’m a glibertarian not a reporter!

        1. straffinrun

          It’s links all the way down.

      2. R C Dean

        I should think young women should be wary of the Ask Women section of Reddit.

    4. Michael

      Alternate title: Dried Up Spinsters Lament Inability to Seduce Teen Boys

  8. Scruffy Nerfherder

    The Harsanyi article links out to this, an homage to all the well-intentioned fuckwits that praised communism in America.

    They were voyagers on that river, these plumbers, pressers and sewing machine operators; and they took with them on their journey not only their own narrow, impoverished experience but also a set of abstractions with transformative powers. When these people sat down to talk, Politics sat down with them, Ideas sat down with them; above all, History sat down with them. They spoke and thought within a context that lifted them out of the nameless, faceless obscurity into which they had been born, and gave them the conviction that they had rights as well as obligations. They were not simply the disinherited of the earth, they were proletarians with a founding myth of their own (the Russian Revolution) and a civilizing worldview (Marxism).

    1. The only reason they were “voyagers” here instead of the genocidal maniacs they became in other nations is because normal people that value free will stopped them in their tracks.

      1. PieInTheSKy

        But if they were not brutally stopped by evil capitalists these guys would have brought forth real socialism, and utopia would have ensued. I mean if they had their way people could spend their time enjoyably commenting on the internet instead of working. Oh….

      2. Agent Cooper

        GOD BLESS HOWARD HUGHES!

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      /tight jawed sporting a pipe. Adjusts ascot riddled with moth holes.

      Bravo, Vivian. BRA-VO!

    3. FreeSociety

      Nazis are also an oppressed political minority and I’m not sure that they killed even half as many as the communists. Yet communism is still fashionable and something to get nostalgic about? Read the part where the author mentions Khrushchev’s unmasking Stalin’s crimes, for the author and her proletarians the real bummer was the bad PR their brand suffered and that tens of thousands of Americans left the party afterwards. The millions of dead and tormented were a new obstacle to their obtaining power.

      1. Gadfly

        It is a real shame that pro-Communists are not treated with the same level of contempt as neo-Nazis. In a society that had its head on straight, anyone who promoted Communism would be viewed on the same level with slavery apologists, as what is Communism except the proposition of universal servus publicus.

        1. FreeSociety

          Regular ole slavery would be a step up. At least if people were regarded as private property, the owners have some incentive to maintain the value of their slaves. Communism is a system of slavery where human beings are public property and are therefore as disposable as any property governed by the tragedy of the commons.

  9. Brett L

    Looks like the UT stabbings were perpetrated by a student without any ideology. Look for the drug warriors to make hay. There is an unconfirmed rumor that a concealed handgun carrier interrupted the rampage. I rate this as not impossible but not yet credible.

    1. Negroni Please

      This is pretty fucked up. Second campus murder in a year and those are the first two campus murders since Whitman in ’66.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        “Do any of you people know who Charles Whitman was? None of you dumbasses knows?”

        1. WTF

          He showed what a motivated Marine and his rifle can accomplish!

        2. I had a roommate whose last name was Whitman when I was at UT. Nobody knew who he was then either, that was late 80s.

    2. I just hope if I’m ever unfortunate enough to be in a situation like this, I’ll be braver than these people.

      1. Yeah, in situations like that it always seems that two or three quick-thinking individuals can swarm the guy and stop the attack then and there, but that requires two or three people who won’t see a person clearly willing to kill them and not hightail it outta there. Sitting in front of a keyboard I’d like to think I’d have the stones to take the guy down, but in the moment, who knows?

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Unless you’ve got something readily available to smack in the head with (crush his skull), the best thing is to make noise and let everyone else know to get away. The winner of a knife fight is the one who makes it to the hospital before he dies.

    3. stilljustcarol

      “He told officers that he takes “happy pills” and had his blood drawn as part of the arrest.”

      If this is what he does when he is “happy”…

      1. Brett L

        He probably had to stop taking the pills as part of a pre-trial monitoring program.

  10. William Shatner firmly believes in misandry, a concept favored by men’s rights activists

    The imbroglio began when a fan tweeted a Boing Boing article praising an essay that critiqued the way toxic masculinity, among other things, colors the deification of Shatner’s Star Trek character, Captain Kirk. That raised the topic of feminism, which Shatner granted was “great,” so long as it was separated from what he considers the degrading theories of toxic masculinity and, of course, from misandry — women’s hatred of men.

    The tweet above caught the eye of trans feminist writer Mari Brighe, who stepped in to quote Shatner and offer a brief lesson. “‘Feminism is great except that part where it criticized men,’” Brighe tweeted. “Misandry is about as real as Klingons, Bill.” In a retweet, Shatner emphatically disagreed and wrote, “You can say that about misandry all you want but it exists.”

    Using this as a teachable moment, Brighe responded: “Misogyny is a systemic violence that kills & oppresses women. ‘Misandry’ is a myth derived from men’s hurt feelings. #MasculinitySoFragile”

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Another reason The Shat is the 20th century’s greatest gift to mankind .

    2. WTF

      Brighe responded: “Misogyny is a systemic violence that kills & oppresses women. ‘Misandry’ is a myth derived from men’s hurt feelings. #MasculinitySoFragile”

      Pretty much proves Shatner’s point.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        What do you call it when a man pretending to be a woman hates men for being men?

        Misocrazy?

        1. *narrows gaze*

    3. WTF

      Misogyny is a systemic violence that kills & oppresses women.

      So, he is talking about the Middle East. Of course this has fuckall to do with the West.

      1. straffinrun

        The women there like it, so that doesn’t count.

      2. commodious spittoon

        Didn’t you see THE HANDMAID’S TALE?? We are LITERALLY SECONDS AWAY from Pence declaring marital law and chaining all women to their kitchen sinks!!!

        1. Agent Cooper

          I hope the chain is long enough to reach the fridge and the oven, because I gots to eat!

          1. Entropy Void

            Put a mini-fridge right next to the BarcaLounger, you will be OK.

    4. PieInTheSKy

      Is there a standard accepted definition for toxic masculinity? If so what is it. If not, it means anyone can adapt and define as they see fit to circumstance. Which is meaningless for debate.

      1. Hammercorps

        The Wikipedia article on it used a definition from an article in The Atlantic. Not sure The Atlantic is the most reliable source of information.

        1. mr simple

          Well, Wikipedia is barely a reliable source itself. I see so much misinformation on topics I know about and then wonder why I trust it on topics I don’t.

      2. straffinrun

        You know it when you see taste it.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Motor oil and scotch?

          1. Entropy Void

            … mixed with Semen.

          2. commodious spittoon

            *HURK*

      3. UnCivilServant

        Basically “Toxic Masculinity” is just “anything a man does that people who use the term ‘Intersectionality’ in a serious manner don’t like”.

    5. PieInTheSKy

      Second question: is there an accepted definition of non-toxic masculinity? You know to teach to young men so they don’t get all toxic?

      1. UnCivilServant

        The one users of the term “Toxic Masculinity” would give amounts to “Be more like girls”. It makes no one happy, which appears to be the goal of these people.

      2. leonadasiv

        I don’t have any son’s, but there is something about when feminists talk about “Toxic Masculinity” that sure makes me know that if i did, i’d raise him to be a Man’s Man.

        It’s funny on how unaware (or maybe they are just that insipid), Feminists who proclaim Toxic Masculinity are. Men are socialized in a way that they don’t like, therefore men must change everything about themselves to conform to how feminists want them. Same Complaint, different women.

        1. Hammercorps

          I think the majority of women would be grateful that you raised him to be a Man’s Man.

    6. The Elite Elite

      Just like racism against whites isn’t a real thing, sexism against men isn’t real. Nope. Only women and non-whites will ever know what it feels like to be discriminated against. You just can’t see this through your cis-white-male-hetero-shitlord privilege!#%@#%113#%

      1. WTF

        Just ignore all of the affirmative action requirements and government set-asides that disadvantage men in favor of women and minorities. Ignore also the fact the any man on a college campus can have his life destroyed on the mere word of a woman with no evidence required. Ignore the constant depiction of men in media as fools and incompetents and inferiors, especially white men. Etc. etc. etc.

        But what are going to believe, a feminist with an agenda, or your own lying eyes?

    7. commodious spittoon

      caught the eye of trans feminist writer

      Because of course it did. You can’t slip one by those guys.

      1. Agent Cooper

        ” those guys.”

        So triggered right now.

    8. Bitches be trippin’.

    9. Juice

      Transplaining?

  11. leonadasiv

    You mean the left is closed-minded when it comes to an open debate on their ideas? Harsanyi says no shit, Sherlock.

    A great article that I’m afraid is too critical of the left to appear on a certain site.

  12. The legend of Bigfoot started in Humboldt County

    Deep within the archival pages of Humboldt Times history — a predecessor of the Eureka Times-Standard — through the writing of Andrew Genzoli, a legend was born. Within the article, “Giant footprints puzzle residents along Trinity River” published in October 1958, Genzoli writes that Jerry Crew and his road construction squad found Sasquatch foot prints in Bluff Creek. The article contains the first mention of the term Bigfoot.

    Crew made a plaster cast of the impressions, pictured in the original article, and then brought the “evidence” into the newsroom.

    The cast measured 18 inches long and 7 inches wide, and Crew said the creature had a 50-inch walking stride. According to the article, the creature seemed to visit the area from time to time.

    1. Hammercorps

      STEVE SMITH LEAVE BECAUSE GERMAN TOO TOUGH, FIND AMERICAN EASIER PREY.

      1. Hammercorps

        Wait a minute, I read that as Hamburg. Fucking hell.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          STEVE SMITH HELP HIKERS WITH GROW OPERATION IN HUMBOLDT.

        2. commodious spittoon

          The cast measured 18 inches long and 7 inches wide

          WITH MEASUREMENTS LIKE THAT STEVE SMITH HAVE NO REASON TO BE HUMBOLDT

          1. Agent Cooper

            This, my friends, is the winner.

          2. bacon-magic

            You win the internet. Please email Al Gore to claim prize. Hint: carbon credits.

      2. Floridaman

        STEVE SMITH STILL RETURN FOR HOLIDAY, ESPESCIALLY NEW YEARS.

    2. leonadasiv

      STEVE SMITH REMEMBERS RAPE OF HUMBOLT COUNTY.

        1. bacon-magic

          FONDILY.

  13. Mustang

    I have been sending my brother a continuous stream of articles like the New York Times Op-Ed because he was one of those screeching eco-nuts. I had to repeatedly assure him that I’m not denying climate change and am merely skeptical of the methods and politics involved. It took a while to get past the screeching but he’s finally admitted that the free market is what will solve our energy needs. He’s a huge advocate for nuclear power now. It feels good to bring someone, kicking and screaming, into the fold.

    1. Start sending him daily updates from wattsupwiththat and he’ll become a full-blown skeptic in a week.
      Well, he will if he values the scientific method in the slightest.

      1. WTF

        The fact that they tout “consensus” as meaningful shows that they have no regard for scientific method.

      2. Mustang

        I don’t really care if he’s a skeptical or not as long as he’s not forcing people to conform to his views. If the only thing that comes from this hysteria is more widespread acceptance of nuclear power I’ll be satisfied.

    2. straffinrun

      Your brother didn’t go to the “but all opposition is funded by big oil!” card? Good on him.

      1. Mustang

        No. He’s quite intelligent, he just lives in an echo chamber.

    3. Tundra

      Nice job. I’ve shared this article on Cobalt mining with the eco-freaks in my world. They have a terminal case of magical thinking when it comes to energy, technology and a high standard of living. There ain’t no free lunch, greenies.

        1. Tundra

          That will take care of the hippies nicely. Thanks!

        2. straffinrun

          Eater of Birds. Better name than their first choice, “Turkey on pumpernickel”.

      1. Pomp

        Somebody a while ago had linked to a piece on the rare earth mining in China that happens in order to produce the exotic magnets that go into wind turbines. Lost the link.

          1. Tundra

            Excellent article, Pomp. Thanks for that.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Can’t be that rare, those bloody things are all over.

      2. Mustang

        If it were anyone else I wouldn’t try so hard, but he’s a teacher so I figure if I can convert him the outreach is exponential in that he’ll be helping to raise generations.

        Playing the progs at their own game.

        1. Gadfly

          +1 Long march through the institutions

    4. Count Potato

      One problem, is that even if climate change is a real threat. The watermelons are only interested in one solution. From that article:

      “It is not denialism to proffer that state control of economic choices as the only way to “fight climate change in any genuine way” has a poor track record and isn’t worth the tradeoff.”

      They want carbon taxes and massive restrictions on fossil fuel production. If someone invented a CO2 filter, made from recycled trash, that was inexpensive and 99.9% effective, they would be against it.

      1. tarran

        Look how they turned against natural gas once it went from expensive to cheap. The reason why US CO2 emissions are below the limits set by Kyoto are entirely due to switching to the now very cheap natural gas as an energy source from oil and coal. And prior to it becoming cheap, the greens promoted the fuck out of it.

        It’s a classic example of revealed preferences. In my limited anecdotal experience, greens don’t really love the Earth in any way. Rather they seem to be motivated by hatred of the works of humanity. Artifice (literally meaning that which is made through art) is a dirty word to them. They don’t want to say they hate humanity – so they claim to love that which is not of humanity, i.e. the natural world. But it’s very interesting when something they promote suddenly goes from opposing the flourishing of humanity to assisting it; suddenly that thing becomes evil. Every time.

        1. Count Potato

          I don’t know if they hate humanity, or just capitalism raising people out of poverty. There could also be some racism thrown in there as well, as they support policies that hold back third-world countries.

          1. It’s a control thing. The left generally, but especially Progressives, are uncomfortable with private wealth because it represents power that they can’t control. Everything about free markets scares them shitless because there’s no plan, no panel of experts to steer people towards desired outcomes. The causes are almost incidental to the issue of the locus of power.

        2. Trolleric the Goth

          it’s why they’re truly watermelons, that red just shows through

  14. PieInTheSKy

    So how many glibs were at the fyre festival? I mean if tyou can’t trust Emily Ratajkowski’s instagram for quality festivals, what can you trust?

    http://www.shortlist.com/entertainment/music/the-fyre-festival-looks-like-one-of-the-worst-events-in-human-history

    1. Negroni Please

      fucking retards. Apparently “cute wild pigs” were part of the advertising. No thanks. I’m not going near wild pigs without multiple firearms.

      1. Hammercorps

        Dammit, Negroni, this is Lord of the Flies we’re role-playing here, not Robinson Crusoe! No firearms allowed!

        1. Negroni Please

          Lord of Flies would be ok depending on which kid you are. Robinson Crusoe is definitely better though. Plus you get a manservant that way.

          1. Count Potato

            You also still have pockets when you’re completely naked.

      2. tarran

        There are several adjectives I’d use to describe “wild pigs”. Feral, dangerous, savage, aggressive. Cute ain’t one of them.

        1. robc

          Tasty.

          I have had those.

          There is a place in the Bahamas that cooks two per week, they are sold off to fund the restocking.

    2. Hammercorps

      Apparently, we can’t trust Bella Hadid either. What has this world come to?

      1. PieInTheSKy

        I can’t even

    3. leonadasiv

      /the-fyre-festival-looks-like-one-of-the-worst-events-in-human-history

      Yes. I place it just above the treatment of Yale graduate students and the Holocaust.

      Wich raises the separate question, why does the left get enthralled with entitled people bitching about how bad they have it? I mean those Yale students are already in the 1% to be going there, let alone the compensation they get back is better than 50% of Americans.

      1. PieInTheSKy

        Well it’s all relative …

    4. Count Potato

      “Major Lazer, Tyga and, er, Blink 182”

      I have no idea what any of those people sound like.

      1. Private Chipperbot
  15. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Is there any writer more self-unaware than Thomas Friedman? He’s talking about the toxicity of Trump while being entertained in an authoritarian petro-state.

    President Trump has already played an incredible amount of golf in his first 100 days. He says he needs the break. I sympathize. In fact, I need a break, too — from him, from writing about his relentless assault on truth and science. It’s toxic. So I break today to write about … golf — in Dubai, where I recently participated in an education conference.

    Dubai is not a democracy and is fueled by cheap labor. But it’s also not Damascus. With its Ministry of Tolerance, Ministry of Happiness and Ministry of Youth (whose minister is a 23-year-old woman), the U.A.E. has made Dubai into the counter-ISIS, a place where young Arabs can live local and act global. It’s the most interesting crossroad city in the Arab world today. You run into the most unexpected characters here — especially on the golf course — which is where our story begins.

    1. straffinrun

      Funny how not taking any refugees makes Dubai the counter-ISIS.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      I use simple applications when it comes to spotting idiots and bull shit. Firzample, whenever someone says something vague and absurd like “assault on truth and science” chances are they haven’t thought things through and are just repeating the marching orders.

      Thus, Friedman is a bull shit generator:

      http://thomasfriedmanopedgenerator.com/about.php

    3. Agent Cooper

      With its Ministry of Tolerance, Ministry of Happiness and Ministry of Youth

      Run away! Run away!

      1. tarran

        I wonder whose in charge of the Ministry of Plenty there?

    4. FreeSociety

      ” the U.A.E. has made Dubai into the counter-ISIS, a place where young Arabs can live local and act global. It’s the most interesting crossroad city in the Arab world today.”

      Interesting because it deviates so far from the regional norm in certain ways. Not so much in others.

    5. Gadfly

      Reading a little about the UAE makes it seem like its a potential powder keg, just waiting for an economic downturn for all hell to break loose. Not only is it a confederation of absolute monarchs, but only 12% of the population are citizens (descendants of the original inhabitants) and 88% of the population are immigrants. Citizens, of course, receive preferential treatment, and the government has been known to commit abuses of all kinds against people who offend it. This doesn’t seem like a stable social structure to me.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        It is a powder keg. They’re one global financial crisis away from complete disaster.

    6. Juice

      Dude is getting paid to play golf in Dubai and write (badly) about it. Is this really a dumb man? Have you seen this fucker’s house?

  16. AlmightyJB

    Lucky cat

  17. KibbledKristen

    knocking Crosby out

    Good on that Finnish dude.

    1. I don’t know. That was a pretty sketchy play. If the only way you can beat somebody is to deliberately headhunt their best player, then you don’t deserve to play the game.

      1. Tundra

        Yeah, I keep hearing ‘accident’, but my 40+ years of playing hockey says bullshit.

        Bad hit.

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        It may be my hatred of Crosby, but the hit was clearly inadvertent IMO. More caused by the initial hit by Ovechkin that put Crosby in a bad position.

        1. His hands and arms just happened to extend out as hard and fast as possible at the moment they connected with Crosby’s head?
          These guys are professionals. No way was that inadvertent.
          Also, Ovechkin’s slash/blow to the head with his stick didn’t draw a penalty?
          I’m no Pens fan, but I don’t want to see a team win like that. That’s Bush league.

          1. Trotz was salty about it in the interview. A Pittsburgh reporter was pressing him on the hit, and Barry was basically like, “How ’bout all the bullshit non-penalties the Penguins pulled? Just looked like hockey to me, bub.”

          2. Rasilio

            Meh, payback for the dirty hit on Ovi in game 1 that didn’t even draw a penalty even though it was blatently illegal

    2. My hatred for Crosby started with the Red Wings vs Penguins Stanley Cup series of 2008 – the Wings were winning, but the NBC crew and commentators were all Crosby all the time. “Look, there’s Crosby going to sit on the bench.” “Looks there’s Crosby taking a drink from his water bottle.” “Oh look there’s Crosby getting the puck stolen from him by some Red Wings player (Datsyuk)”

      1. KibbledKristen

        Yeah, same reason I can’t stand him. And being a Caps fan.

  18. Certified Public Asshat

    Trump to kill the children:

    Hey kids, salt stays and grains go in school meals

    “As his first major action in office, Agriculture Secretary Sonny Perdue said the Agriculture Department will delay an upcoming requirement to lower the amount of sodium in meals while continuing to allow waivers for regulations that all grains on the lunch line must be 50 percent whole grain.

    Schools could also serve 1 percent flavored milk instead of the nonfat now required.”

    1 percent? Gross.

    1. UnCivilServant

      Nobody drank 1% when I went to school. It was mostly 2%, with a few who had skim foisted upon them by their parents.

      1. Certified Public Asshat

        I went to school in a more rural area, so most were drinking chocolate milk but the plain milk drinkers were all having whole.

      2. Agent Cooper

        I’m a 1%-er now. I drink too much milk to drink whole, and skim is just too watery.

        1. UnCivilServant

          I don’t drink it, I don’t care for the lingering aftertaste. So I only have some around when baking with it.

    2. Floridaman

      Killing children, that’s horrible. He is stealing Planned Parenthood’s job.

    3. KibbledKristen

      Skim milk became a “thing” in schools right around my first grade year. Everyone jumped on the bandwagon wanting the “blue milk”. And it literally is blue – the carton and the actual milk. I’ve since come to my senses and realized whole milk is the only way to go.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Lactose free would make more sense if they actually wanted kids to drink it.

      2. WTF

        Children’s developing brains need the fat in whole milk. And higher amounts of salt have been shown in recent studies to not be at all harmful.
        I thought the left was supposed to be the “science” crowd?

        1. Jefe Hayek

          They fucking love it, man

        2. Rhywun

          It’s about exercising the power to belittle people and deny their wants. “Science” left the building a few decades ago.

    4. leonadasiv

      1 percent flavored milk

      I don’t think its a flavoring… but i’m not a milkologist.

    5. I really hate how “whole grains” are characterized as this perfect natural food.

      1. Tundra

        Ever seen who sponsors the continuing ed for Registered Dietitians?

        1. You should see my dietician aunt, who works at a hospital in the Chicago area. She’s extra hefty.

          1. I believe her last public speech concluded with:
            “Han, ma bookie, keel-ee calleya ku kah. Wanta dah moolee-rah. Mon kee chees kreespa Greedo?”

          2. F. Stupidity Jr.

            de Block is a nickname, apparently.

          3. tarran

            You laugh, but after climate change destroys all the farms and the starving times begin, she will outlive all of us.

      2. Certified Public Asshat

        Is it brown rice that is the “better” whole grain compared to white rice, except for the fact that the body cannot absorb any of the nutrients?

        1. Tundra

          The nutritional differences are negligible. Brown, I believe, has a lower glycemic index. Best advice I’ve ever read on the subject:

          Eat whichever tastes better to you.

        2. Count Potato

          Brown rice has more fiber.

    6. Hammercorps

      Slightly, OT, but when we bought our first dairy cow, the guy we bought it from said they took dairy cows to the Stock Show every year, they would tell the kids that chocolate milk comes from brown cows, and strawberry milk comes from red cows. They said it amazed them not just that the kids believed them, but the number of grown adults who bought that story as well.

      1. Gadfly

        He’s lucky they knew milk came from cows. Lots of people have no idea where any of their food comes from.

      2. KibbledKristen

        OT OT: that reminds me of the day I was on the train heading to work and a grown-ass woman was peeking into the driver’s compartment at the front of the train. Not seeing any kind of wheel in there, she asked her boyfriend how the driver steered the train.

    7. Slammer

      He wants to put whole white milk back in school because he’s a White Supremacist

      1. The Elite Elite

        Did he make the OK gesture with his hands while announcing this?

    8. Rhywun

      Jesus Christ, they’re pushing skim milk on kids? I just can’t even.

      In my day I always picked whole because we drank 2% at home (because it was cheaper) and I never got it otherwise.

      1. WTF

        Whole milk is actually about 3% fat. I really don’t see the point of 2% milk.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Whole milk is 1.5x more likely to cause heart disease!

          1. WTF

            75% of quoted statistics are 85% fabrications!

    9. Count Potato

      Even if salt caused high blood pressure, isn’t hypertension pretty rare among children?

      1. Gadfly

        The thinking is to develop good habits that will be retained into adulthood. Eating tasteless (no-salt) food doesn’t strike me as a particularly good habit, but what do I know.

    10. Count Potato

      It’s always the one-percent with these people.

  19. KibbledKristen

    Once more for the morning crew. Trsh has bet $10 that it’s POC that did this. I agree. I think it was some sort of senior “prank” by the members of the sorority that was mentioned.

    I got an email from the Prez of the university saying they will keep us alumni updated on the results of the investigation. My ass. When they find out who did it, it will be radio silence.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      Can I get any side action on this story?

      Local fancy pants private college in Northfield (about hour south of the Cities) boycotted classes yesterday because of threatening notes. St. Olaf’s is very, very liberal, so the story is already a bit suspect.

      1. Tundra

        “I no longer feel safe, no longer feel welcome,” said Don Williams, a St. Olaf junior who returned home from walking his dog last week to find a note, scrawled with a vile racial slur, tucked onto his car windshield.

        Bull. Shit.

        Remember the hoopla at the school, Holiness? Notice how it just disappeared?

        1. UnCivilServant

          If he no longer feels welcome, I’m sure there are other schools he can attend…

        2. Pope Jimbo

          The Maple Grove HS BS?

          I actually asked my boy about it not too long ago and he said that he had never heard of it again. So, yeah, I’m like you. They found out it was some kid who didn’t fit the profile and swept it under the rug.

          Also, how can anyone be afraid of all the pasty betas running around St. Olaf?

      2. KibbledKristen

        Yeah, if you’re going to pull a false flag, at least do it where it would be even a tiny bit believable.

        1. UnCivilServant

          But the die-hard professional victim trainees so totally believe it!

          1. Pope Jimbo

            Look at it this way. You are attending a super liberal college that costs a ton of money. Everyone is cool and you are learning a lot.

            Don’t you see how fucking horrible that is? All your buddies who went to some shitty community college back home are lucky enough to have some red neck student there call them all sorts of names.

            When you graduate, what war stories will you have to tell your family and friends?

            You are the guy who during WWII was sent to a psych hospital in Florida to treat nurses with nymphomania. How are you gonna feel down at the VFW drinking beer with guys from Iwo Jima and Guadalcanal.

          2. Gustave Lytton

            They did their work 6 inches at a time and so did I.

          3. Pope Jimbo

            Braggart!

      3. Brett L

        St. Olaf’s has racists? Bullshit.

        1. UnCivilServant

          They do – the most common expression being the bigotry of low expectations, followed by intersectionality.

        2. Tundra

          Well, it’s rotten with proggies, so…yeah.

        3. Agent Cooper

          Betty WHITE played a character from St. Olaf.

          Jeez. Do I have to spell it out for you?

      4. JaimeRoberto

        I was expecting it to be Swedes saying something derogatory about Norwegians.

    2. FreeSociety

      “AU’s first Black female student government president took office today… and we woke up to a racism.”

      They found a racism. Everyone stand back, it could explode at any moment and then you’ll be all covered in little sticky pieces of racism. I hope they don’t find another racism.

    3. Agent Cooper

      She quoted Frederick Douglass of all people.

  20. Slammer

    Ugh, Tequila Cat is problematic on literally so many levels. I can’t even.

    1. UnCivilServant

      Indeed. That sombrero is far too small for its head, it should be bigger. Plus it will get its head stuck in that cup trying to drink the remaining tequila.

  21. PieInTheSKy

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/may/01/may-day-violence-france-six-police-injured-armed-group-hijack-paris-march

    Romanians traditionally grill meat not cops on May Day. Mici to be specific, which are like well small ground meat caseless sausages. Usually the urban hordes try to get out to do a direct word by word translation of the local term “to green grass” and basically set up somewhere outside the city by the side of the road or in a forest or meadow somewhere. It makes traffic a bitch going in and out. Also people for some reason go to the mountains or seaside although this means spending many hours stuck in traffic. Never got that. I mean I get someone living in a 60 square meter apartment trying to get out, but everyone doing it on the same day leads to going from a crowded city to crowded rural spot …

  22. Tundra

    Nice selection, Sloopy. Glibertarian anthem?

    1. libertarian-themed music? I’m always a sucker for

        1. Hammercorps

          SF’d that one there bud.

          1. Tundra

            Great song, though.

            I was born in a welfare state
            Ruled by bureaucracy
            Controlled by civil servants
            And people dressed in grey
            Got no privacy got no liberty
            ’cause the twentieth century people
            Took it all away from me.

            Don’t want to get myself shot down
            By some trigger happy policeman,
            Gotta keep a hold on my sanity
            I’m a twentieth century man but I don’t want to die here.

          2. Tundra

            Released in 1971, by the way.

    2. Pope Jimbo

      Not the John Lee Hooker version? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-fSZRYeBWk

  23. KibbledKristen

    Oh for fuck’s sake. Just got a spam email where the spammer did a cc or bcc, so now I’m getting all the “Reply All” emails telling said spammer to fuck off. In my work inbox.

    1. leonadasiv

      I’m sorry, but that is pretty funny.

      1. KibbledKristen

        It is…I just don’t know how many people are on this spammer’s list. I could be in for 100s of “FUCK OFF!!!” emails today.

        1. Why not reply all to tell everybody to not reply all when replying to the original email?

          1. FreeSociety

            Have you no principles?

    2. straffinrun

      The ghosts of all those mice you slaughtered are haunting you.

      1. UnCivilServant

        +1,000,000 squeaks in the night.

  24. Rufus the Monocled

    “Speaking to Khaleej Times, Gurnani, who was in Dubai, said it is impossible to build protectionist walls in a digital era.

    “In the digital economy, how do you build barriers? You can’t just build walls like those being planned on the US-Mexico border,” he said.

    “In the long run, the reality is that America does not have enough engineering and technology graduates and if they choose to do it, I think we can help them in creating this manpower,” said Gurnani who has led Tech Mahindra’s transformation journey, and one of the biggest turnarounds of Indian corporate history – the acquisition and merger with Satyam.”

    http://www.khaleejtimes.com/technology/indian-tech-giant-sees-zero-fallout-from-us-visa-restrictions

    1. stilljustcarol

      Is it true that we don’t have “enough” engineering and technology graduates? If so, why? I’m hard pressed to believe that our students aren’t as smart or capable as students in other countries. Are we doing something that discourages students from going into those fields? Or do we have enough graduates but some other factor encourages employers to overlook our graduates in favor of those from other countries?

      1. UnCivilServant

        Or do we have enough graduates but some other factor encourages employers to overlook our graduates in favor of those from other countries?

        The price tag. The cost of the degree makes them have higher earnings expectations and requirements, so the people who would be hiring instead get the dollar store knockoff brand staff.

        1. stilljustcarol

          Which is why degree programs should be revamped and based on the trade school model. You go to a trade school and everything revolves learning that trade. Journeymen ironworkers, who make real good money, aren’t required to be “well rounded”, they are required to be experts in their field. A degree program shouldn’t be any different.

        2. Gadfly

          Plus a lot of engineering firms are pretty rough on their engineers, leading to a high rate of attrition, but visa engineers often aren’t allowed to quit and remain in country so are a much better investment from the POV of a firm. There are a lot of degreed engineers in America working in non-engineering jobs due to better pay or better conditions. The engineering firms get away with their pay scales and working conditions because there is no shortage of engineers, so the market favors employers.

          1. Trolleric the Goth

            not to mention, if you’re working for an engineering firm and work dries up, you’re out the door.

            that and those firms hire fresh out of school kids who know nothing and cost little and manage to fuck specs up so badly the end user ends up with something so far from what they actually need it’s comical. Engineering done in India is even worse in this respect; certification requirements that aren’t applicable, that directly conflict, etc.

      2. Rasilio

        Um yeah, telling them that (insert adjective here) studies is a valid career move

  25. Pope Jimbo

    My neck of the Minnesoda prairie makes me proud.

    Why not just run the picture of Keith Ellison trying to pretend he’s a hunter and let it go? That is all you need to do to mock a pol who is hypocritically trying to court gun owners.

    And everyone knows the correct term is “goat roper” not “goat humper”.

    1. UnCivilServant

      I’m sorry but the self-righteous indignation in the lede made me stop reading.

      1. Hammercorps

        It was so left-wing bent I was convinced at first it was a parody article, like The Onion or something.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          What is funny is that this will be the Streisand Effect.

          Lots of the rural folk living out on the prairie probably don’t pay much attention to Facebook and certainly not the GOP FB page for that district. Now they are going to find out that their rep Collin Peterson is hanging out with an urban liberal like Ellison and get pissed.

          Some will be pissed for racist reasons, but most will be pissed because they are pretty conservative out there and will be mad that Person is cozying up to him. Trump won that district pretty easily (if I remember right). Peterson wins because he is a very conservative Democrat. Pro-gun and doesn’t mess with social issues. He is also a big wheel in the Ag committee.

    2. Tundra

      Gotta rope ’em before you can hump ’em, I guess.

  26. Juvenile Bluster

    When you’ve somehow lost Slate…

    “Samantha Bee’s Not the WHCD was Somehow Worse than the Real Thing”

    The lowlight is a Man in the High Castle-inspired pre-taped bit where George Takei gives Bee a samizdat film of Hillary Clinton’s presidency in an alternate universe, including the White House Correspondents’ Dinner speech given by one Samantha Bee. Want a Photoshopped image of Hillary Clinton in the oval office, flanked by a group of advisers including Maxine Waters, Kamala Harris, and Elizabeth Warren? You’ll find it here, but like all liberal fan fiction, it’s not good for you. On the other hand, if you want a Photoshopped image of Kellyanne Conway and a passed-out Steve Bannon hosting a Trump TV show called This Morning Belongs to Us with Steve Bannon and Kellyanne Conway, you’ll also find it here—it’s liberal fan fiction too, but at least it’s a joke.

  27. Juvenile Bluster

    Today in fun with the Orleans Parish DA, when they can’t railroad a defendant, they file false charges against the people in the public defender’s office

    1. straffinrun

      26 years old and juggling 70 cases. That just don’t seem right.

    2. KibbledKristen

      We have a couple lawyers up in here, though not sure if any of them are in criminal law. But what if the state offered student loan reduction/forgiveness in exchange for private criminal defense lawyers taking on public cases pro bono? Because the public defender system in just about every state is fucked.

      (but this system is just another way to keep poor people poor and incarcerated)

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        Public Defender offices should be funded equally with prosecutor’s offices (given that, unlike most things government spends money on, this is actually something that’s constitutional). It’ll never happen.

        1. robc

          They should be the same employees.

          Whether you are prosecutor or defense on case X is a random draw.

          1. LT_Fish

            Pretty sure that’s how they do it with JAG in the military.

      2. I still think the better system would be for the DA office to have half its budget earmarked to the public defender’s office and the same levels of staffing, including the use of police officers doing investigations to help defendants.

        1. WTF

          including the use of police officers doing investigations to help defendants.

          Somehow I don’t think the cops would be very motivated to find exculpatory evidence.

      3. Worker and Parasite

        It would be worth trying as it’s very unlikely to be worse than the current setup (I’m a public defender).

        1. KibbledKristen

          Oh! A real life person in the belly of the beast! Have you thought about submitting an article to this web site? I am so interested in what you do and the hurdles you face!

          1. Worker and Parasite

            I have, and I even started one, but I lost it to a computer crash and haven’t been motivated to start over. The difficulty is that it will take 10 pages just to describe the overall system of the state where I practice to provide context for how things work.

          2. Rasilio

            That is even better because then it becomes a series of articles and if done right could even segue into a regular headline

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Paul Ryan has convinced me that he’s a Manchurian Democrat.

    Wait, what? I have been informed by a Nobel Prize -winning economist that Paul Ryan is a flim-flam artist who wants to starve us all and let us die in the streets.

    1. FreeSociety

      I wish he were. Unfortunately this is THE ONE time that Paul Krugman was hyperbolic about a subject and got it completely wrong.

  29. Pope Jimbo

    Well the story “It’s time for truth telling at Fort Snelling” was not at all what I thought it was going to be.

    Fort Snelling is at the juncture of the Mississippi and the Minnesota rivers. It was used to protect the settlers from the Sioux and the Ojibwe. And as in the Sioux wars, it didn’t do that good of a job.

    The story isn’t about the evils of the white settlers though. It is by a local historian who is urinated off by what she sees as a very slanted one side only approach to a new historical exhibit being built at the fort with taxpayer dollars.

    I’m going to have to check the comments later today to laugh at the outrage.

    1. Hammercorps

      “In the 21st century white Minnesotans must face our troubling past.”

      Well, get to the confessional box, Jimbo!

      1. UnCivilServant

        I have faced our past, and you know what – I’m okay with it. I am not wracked by guilt for things other people have done. I am not going to flagellate myself for sins of others. I am not so prideful as to think all the ills of the world are somehow my fault. Our society is not perfect – but it is a damn sight better than the alternatives.

        1. Hammercorps

          That’s three months of diversity training for you, bud.

          1. UnCivilServant

            I’m afraid I deported the instructors.

        2. commodious spittoon

          And, of course, the more damaged and damaging one’s society, the less likely one is to feel any guilt about it. It’s only in enlightened societies attempting to rationalize the past in terms of present norms that people get bent out of shape trying to come to grips with the differences. So not only are we better people overall, we’re even better at feeling guilty about how imperfect we are.

  30. Slammer

    Baltimore prosecutors told to consider consequences for prosecuting illegal immigrants for minor crimes

    The Baltimore State’s Attorney’s Office has instructed prosecutors to think twice before charging illegal immigrants with minor, non-violent crimes in response to stepped up immigration enforcement by the Trump administration.

    Chief Deputy State’s Attorney Michael Schatzow, in a memo sent to all staff Thursday and obtained by The Baltimore Sun, wrote that the Justice Department’s deportation efforts “have increased the potential collateral consequences to certain immigrants of minor, non-violent criminal conduct.”

    “In considering the appropriate disposition of a minor, non-violent criminal case, please be certain to consider those potential consequences to the victim, witnesses, and the defendant,” Schatzow wrote.

    Prosecutors declined to discuss the memo.

    Wouldn’t want to mess with votes, I guess

    1. KibbledKristen

      It’s more like a conflict of interest between the cops and the pols. Cops (detectives especially) generally don’t want illegals to be hassled in any way, because they need them as a resource as confidential informants and witnesses.

    2. WTF

      So, illegals get shielded from arrest for “minor, non-violent” crimes, while actual citizens and legal immigrants get the hammer? I think this veers so far outside prosecutorial discretion that it violates equal protection.

  31. straffinrun

    Going to the mountains for camping with 6 other families. Total of 7 kids all 8 years old. Leaving in about 5 hours so not much time to prepare, but any ideas for how to keep the kids occupied? Easy activities?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Snipe hunts

      1. commodious spittoon

        Use the kids as beaters?

    2. Hammercorps

      When I was that age, it was all running around in the woods finding rocks and trees to climb. No need for much in the way of activities, but card games and the like are good. Unless you’re talking about the drive up there?

      1. Tundra

        This. The woods is enough.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Hatchet throwing contests

    4. UnCivilServant

      Knock them out with high doses of laudinum.

    5. Certified Public Asshat

      iPads and other tablets.

      1. Rhywun

        heh that was going to be my suggestion. it’s what i would have wanted.

    6. I would be more worried about keeping my own sanity. You have a few pints of whiskey stashed away?

      1. *drunken slur* “hey kid, why don’t you get your Uncle staffinrun another beer?”

      2. straffinrun

        I love hanging out with the kids. It’s the adults that bug me.

        1. Agent Cooper

          +1 Yeah. All that talking and socializing. Ugh. I’d rather go build a fort.

    7. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Show them the rules for playing doctor

    8. Brett L

      Fire? Build a fire and let them feed it. Should keep them busy for a week or so.

      1. And remove any brush for a radius of a mile or so.

        1. UnCivilServant

          Oh, no, the fire will do that for you.

          1. straffinrun

            Or a couple gallons of Nair.

    9. KibbledKristen

      My gawd have mercy on your soul.

      1. KibbledKristen

        *may

      2. Agent Cooper

        I thought you were channeling Jim Ross there for a second.

    10. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Read STEVE SMITH stories to them and then they’ll just cower in their tents.

      1. WTF

        When I was a kid one of the adults told us kids a Wendigo story at night by the campfire. Scared the crap out of us.

        1. F. Stupidity Jr.

          That would scare me, too. Square hamburger patties? Dave Thomas? Yeesh.

    11. Well that’s a bit young for a shot-by-shot reenactment of “Battle Royale”.
      Ooh, tell them to go catch all the Pokémon in the forest.

    12. commodious spittoon

      One of them suicide forests I hear about?

  32. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Snipe hunts

    1. straffinrun

      Wesley wouldn’t like that. Sounds racist anyways.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    Bret Stephens clarifies his position

    There’s no need to convince me on your first two points. Our 45th president is a man who seems to regard rumor as fact, opinion as evidence, wishes as truth — and truth as whatever he can get away with. Hence the conspiracy theories about his predecessor’s birthplace, the lies about the size of his Inauguration Day crowds, and so on. As for your reference to some evangelical voters, it’s astonishing that so many in this country seem not to have gotten past the Scopes trial.

    And, lest there be any remaining doubts: I subscribe to the theory of evolution, I vaccinate my kids, I don’t smoke because it causes cancer, the earth is not flat, and the world is warming.

    “Honest, guys, I’m one of you! Now, for goodness’ sake untie me from the railroad tracks. The Super Chief is coming.”

    Something tells me the howling mob is unappeased.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Coward

    2. WTF

      Struggle Session.

    3. leonadasiv

      Reminds me of this italian guy. The Scientific Authorities in his country forced him to recant as well…

      1. UnCivilServant

        Serves him right for believing the word of a Pollack.

  34. Mike Schmidt

    FYI: Judge Napolitano’s book Suicide Pact is on sale at Amazon for $1.99 (Kindle)

    In Suicide Pact, Napolitano details a long, sordid history of governmental—and especially presidential—encroachments on liberty, enacted in the name of protecting America but which serve instead to undermine national security and erode the nation’s founding freedoms.

    1. Slammer

      Thanks!

    2. Tundra

      Link.

      Thanks!

    3. Mike Schmidt

      I recommend Book Bub to all you e-readers out there. You can pick your favorite genres and they will send weekly emails showing deals on ebooks that you might like. You can also add specific books or authors and get an “instant” notification when there is a deal to be had.

      1. UnCivilServant

        While I heard the name before I’m trying to remember if it was in a negative or positive context. It was entirely on a forum dealing with independant publishers so it was from the opposite side of the transactions. Part of me wants to say they came off as shady.

        1. Mike Schmidt

          From a publishers point of view I could see them not being popular. They don’t tell you when your fav author has a new book, they tell you when he marks it down below $2.

          But as a consumer, I think they’re the bees knees

      2. tarran

        Ditto. I’ve been introduced to a bunch of good authors that otherwise I would never have heard of through Bookbub. And a few proggie turkeys.

  35. Juvenile Bluster

    This is peak Vox. It cannot get more Vox than this

    “Turns Out, the North Korean Economy is Doing Pretty Well”

    *knocks self unconscious with facepalm*

    1. leonadasiv

      Well given that people think WW2 was great for the economy, when there were still rationing, i’d say i think i can understand a slight part of the confusion. But then i remember that even the most dysfunctional tribes could still feed themselves, and have to say that they are being intentionaly obtuse. (which should just be Vox’s byline)

    2. FreeSociety

      You though that was bad, but did you know that Obamacare is going to explode and it’s Trump’s fault. And the fault of his fat rural voters, personally, not because the law is an unmitigated catastrophe or anything… according to Vox.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    Auto sales numbers are out, and they’re… disappointing.

    1. Tundra

      Ford is in trouble. Toyota down, too. Can you say ‘credit bubble’?

      I knew you could.

      Ferrari killing it, though.

    2. straffinrun

      It was too hot, too cold, the Chinese, a hurricane, Venezuela, The Russians…It wasn’t my fault!

      1. Locusts! It wasn’t my fault!!!

        ::removes sunglasses::
        ::raises one eyebrow::

      2. Worker and Parasite

        The sun was in my eyes!

      3. I got a Povitch in my Sajak.

    3. Juice

      It’s just going to get worse. For every car maker. They make too many cars. It’s that simple. There’s a glut of cars on the market globally. It’s going to be like computers and tv’s in about a decade. Cars will be awesome, but cheap.

  37. Tennessee woman beats home invasion suspect with baseball bat

    It happened in Kingsport, Tenn. Police say on Saturday night the woman answered a knock at her door to find a woman holding a flyer about a lost dog. As soon as she opened the door, a masked man stepped into the doorway, grabbed her arm, and attempted to pull her outside. When that failed, police say the masked man pushed the resident back inside the home and shouted, “This is a robbery!”

    A struggle ensued, during which time the 4’11” tall victim was able to partially remove the mask from the suspect’s face. In doing so, she immediately recognized the man as Joe Sotello, a longtime family friend. She says she also noticed what appeared to be a handgun tucked in Sotello’s waistband.

    She grabbed a baseball bat from behind the door and fought back in what police described as a “clearly justifiable self-defense.”

    1. commodious spittoon

      4’11” tall

      HOT.

      Also, good God did she give him a walloping.

      HOT!

      1. commodious spittoon

        Although it brings to mind something the late, great Patrice O’Neal would have said… Bitch, the only reason you’re not in traction right now is ‘cuz he didn’t want to hit you! *eardrum-shattering peal of laughter*

    2. AlmightyJB

      Awesome. i also love that his girlfriend left without him.

  38. FreeSociety

    The policeman’s story that the car he shot into, killing a 15 year old, was driving toward him was not true, according to the local police chief. The killing has been ruled a homicide. The local D.A. and “police integrity unit” are both looking into the matter while the unnamed officer is on leave.

    And when he is eventually forced to resign and receives no jail time, I think we can all agree that justice will have been served. /judicial system

    1. straffinrun

      *Tries to focus on comment but eyes keep getting drawn to avatar*

      1. FreeSociety

        It is very impressive.

        1. bacon-magic

          Enticing pic.

          1. FreeSociety

            Be wary. If you stare into the banana hammock long enough, the banana hammock stares back at you.

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      By “forced to resign”, I’m assuming you mean “Resigns after 8 months of paid leave and takes a job as an officer two towns over”

      1. FreeSociety

        That goes without saying.

  39. The Late P Brooks

    Ferrari killing it, though.

    *puts on 26-year-old-MBA “thinking cap”*

    “Dude- Ferrari needs to build an SUV! “

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Well, Porsche has one, Lamborghini has one coming out, Maserati has one now… Ferrari says they won’t, but it’ll probably happen.

      1. Count Potato

        Lamborghini made a jeep from ’86 – ’93.

        1. Seguin

          Lm002. Damn impressive beast too.

    2. Tundra

      It’s for China, primarily. Reminds me of a classic:

      “If you walk into a Porsche dealership and drive out in an SUV, you’ve failed at life.”

  40. Why wouldn’t Schumer and Pelosi be celebrating? They were just handed a beating in November that was as bad as any we’ve seen this century and yet they somehow came out of the budget negotiations looking for all the world as if they had won the White House and both chambers of Congress.

    “So how bad is this stink bomb? Allahpundit asked if Trump was “really going to sign this turd.” Daniel Horowitz said it was nothing short of a betrayal. Philip Klein concluded that if you took out all of the names you would probably assume that it had been written by Democrats. Rush is already wondering why anybody bothers voting for Republicans. I could take up an entire column with more reactions which were, if anything, even more fierce.”

  41. straffinrun

    Google’s cat butts are invisible.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    Paul Ryan is addressing the nation. Did you know our units are stealing parts from museums to keep their planes flying?

    *No mention of the BILLIONS OF DOLLARS SQUANDERED ON THE F35, for some reason.

  43. commodious spittoon

    Not that it seems to have mattered, what with the GOP acting like whipped curs regardless. But here’s some election night schadenfreude to remind you of another, more promising time several months ago.

    After North Carolina and Wisconsin were called for Trump, President Barack Obama reached out to his former secretary of state and told her it was time to give up.

    ‘What’s going on in your camp?’ an Obama aide, David Simas, asked Clinton campaign manager Robby Mook.

    ‘I don’t think we’re going to win,’ Mook replied.

    ‘I don’t think you are either,’ Simas agreed. ‘POTUS doesn’t think it’s wise to drag this out.’

    Now Mook had to tell his boss that Obama was interested in a smooth transfer of power to his successor, Trump, and that Clinton needed to give up any last-ditch hopes that the swing states would somehow flip for her.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    Ruh-roh. Trouble in paradise

    Millennials, sick of being told that they don’t know how good they have it, may well point out that Australia is home to some of the most spoiled baby boomers in the world. Many retirees divide their time between cruise holidays overseas and subsidized medical appointments here, all the time complaining that it is the young people who don’t realize how good they have it.

    Aside from tax policies that encourage speculation, other policies show successive governments have been fueling a rat race when they should have been building a society. Over the past two decades, federal government funding of private schools has expanded, including to those with very high fees and swimming pool complexes, beautiful gardens and performing arts centers, further dividing the country. Many middle-class parents have become anxious about sending children to the local public high school out of fear that they will lag behind their peers at schools that are expensive or academically selective.

    We need to rediscover our egalitarian roots. It is true that Australian culture can be anti-intellectual. We can deride achievement and cut down those who succeed, in a phenomenon we call tall poppy syndrome. But the egalitarian values of our society should not be discounted. In fact, it is on the matter of egalitarianism that Australia has made some of its most important intellectual contributions to the world.

    Australia has succumbed to the false allure of dog-eat-dog Randian moneygrubbing and me-first-ism.

    1. Rhywun

      Generous tax breaks for homeowners and real estate investors have fueled the market to the point where the median price of a house in Sydney, our largest metropolis, is $1.1 million Australian dollars, or about $824,000.

      Chances they’re not being entirely honest here?

  45. The Late P Brooks

    And- the reliable NYT comments:

    Yellow Bird Washington DC 4 hours ago

    There is only one reason for the change of culture which you decry and the ludicrous house prices being paid in Sydney and Melbourne: unrestricted, rapid population growth. There is a tsunami of money and of people coming out of China to – amongst other places – Australia and New Zealand. As immigrants, they value hard work, thrift, educational achievement and material prosperity above all else, and consider taking time to smell the roses a misguided delusion. Cut immigration from these hard-working and thrifty cultures and you will slow the rat race. If you don’t, the goldfish will be eaten by the sharks.

    Yeah, those Aussies are totally open-borders fanatics. Come one, come all.

    1. AlmightyJB

      “As immigrants, they value hard work, thrift, educational achievement and material prosperity ”

      Oh, the nightmare

    1. AlmightyJB

      Some of those people are a little old to be acting like babies

    2. tarran

      LET’S START A RIOT

      Fuck peace and quiet, let’s start a riot
      Psycho or psychotic, let’s start a riot
      Fuck peace be violent, let’s start a riot
      Psycho or psychotic, get nuts and start a riot

    3. I think I notice a sad, wistful tone in the coverage:

      “The demonstration began as a city-permitted march featuring impassioned but peaceful rhetoric, but it ultimately was defined by black-clad protesters, fires and property damage.”

      If only those riotous elements (probably “outsiders”) had stayed away, there could have been a great, peaceful march against Trump and his evil ways!

      1. Ooh, check this out:

        “A rock was thrown through a window at Goldmark Jewelers, and protesters left a wall and other windows marred by graffiti.

        “”Why’d they have to do this?” said Kurt Thomas, the building security guard. “The owner’s a nice guy, not a corporate store at all.””

        Why don’t they attack the counterrevolutionaries and fascists, instead of the nice petty bourgeois?

        1. tarran

          Perhaps someone neglected to tell Comrade Stalin that the owner of Goldmark Jewelers is a loyal bolshevist.

    4. commodious spittoon

      That crowd of losers is white enough to staff the Gawker newsroom.

    5. Rhywun

      May 1 is International Workers’ Day, and protesters from the Philippines to Paris celebrated by demanding better working conditions.

      LOL

    6. Agent Cooper

      Predictable.

  46. WTF

    OT: Another Jackie UVA type incident?: Is UNC Campus Rape Heroine Actually a Campus Rape Hoaxer?

    1. WTF

      SF’d the link.
      Here.

    2. AlmightyJB

      I don’t think I need to even read the article to know the answer.

    3. commodious spittoon

      While the authors do not explicitly accuse Pino of fabrication, they certainly seem to imply as much—even pointing out parallels to Jackie, the University of Virginia rape hoaxer at the center of the later-retracted Rolling Stone story on campus rape. It is an explosive charge on a highly sensitive issue.

      Much like, I don’t know, a rape allegation?

      Or, for that matter, alleging a national conspiracy among men to commit and cover up rapes?

    4. Count Potato

      Just like Jackie’s story, there was blood everywhere, severe injury, massive amounts of physical evidence, but she didn’t go to the police or seek medical treatment.

      1. WTF

        And nobody else noticed any of these things, and nobody thinks to try to speak to her ‘friend’ who supposedly went to the party with her, etc.

    5. So assuming her story is true – she was violently attacked and didn’t report it and nobody noticed it – then I suppose the thing to do with a follow-up would be to see if any incidents of a similar nature *had* been reported. Because this could have been the work of a serial predator, right?

      Or maybe he was a serial predator but none of the victims reported his crimes. Or maybe this was the only time he committed a violent rape.

      There’s certainly a strong burden of proof on this story before we use it to influence public policy.

      1. WTF

        There’s certainly a strong burden of proof on this story before we use it to influence public policy.

        That ship has already sailed.

  47. Entropy Void

    Interesting: not one word about hacking attempts on GOP …

    Open question: Did the GOP simply have better cyber security, are the GOP hacks just undiscovered as of yet or was there actual complicity between the Trumpistas and the Puties??

    I can tell which way CNet is leaning …

    How US cybersleuths decided Russia hacked the DNC

    https://www.cnet.com/news/how-experts-decided-russia-hacked-dnc-election/

    … and, NO, no Oxford coma here.

    1. Oxford coma?

      “By Jove, that was quite a nap I had. I hope I won’t be late for my meeting. We will be discussing whether non-Anglicans should be admitted to Oxford. Non-Anglicans, what’s next, women? Pfaugh…”

    2. Agent Cooper

      Oxford Coma. Holy shit. That’s a great typo.

      1. “When he woke up from his Oxford Coma, Professor Partington discovered that he had developed psychic powers. One day he had a horrific vision of the Dean taking away the senior faculty’s parking privileges. Nobody would believe him, so he decided that only assassination would solve the problem…”

    3. Fatty Bolger

      According to Comey, it was better security. The hackers used the same methods for both, it was just far more successful with the DNC.

      http://www.cnn.com/2017/01/10/politics/comey-republicans-hacked-russia/

      Comey later added that “there was evidence of hacking directed at state-level organizations, state-level campaigns, and the RNC, but old domains of the RNC, meaning old emails they weren’t using. None of that was released.”

      Comey said there was no sign “that the Trump campaign or the current RNC was successfully hacked.”

      Asked by Sen. Mark Warner, a Virginia Democrat, whether the hacker had the ability to selectively leak that old information, Comey indicated that they did.

      Comey also said that the Russians “got far deeper and wider into the (Democratic National Committee) than the RNC,” adding that “similar techniques were used in both cases.”

      Comey said the FBI would have preferred to “get access to the original device or server” that was the target of hacking at the DNC. CNN previously reported that the Democratic National Committee “rebuffed” a request from the FBI to examine its computer services after it was allegedly hacked by Russia during the 2016 election.

      The FBI instead relied on the assessment of a third-party security company called CrowdStrIke. Comey told senators that the “highly respected private company eventually got access and shared” the evidence with the FBI.

      1. WTF

        For fuck’s sake, the DNC “hacking” consisted of the idiot Podesta replying to a phishing email and giving out his password. I guess the Republicans didn’t have anybody stupid enough to do the same.

        1. Chipwooder

          Pas$word…..bahahahahahaha

          1. WTF

            VEEP is far more true to life than people realize.

  48. The Late P Brooks

    Unexpected

    All along, car companies have operated training programs to convey the specialized repair information peculiar to their new models. But that continuing education is intended to update experienced mechanics. To replenish the entry-level ranks as technicians change jobs or retire — turnover runs as high as 20 percent a year — automakers need to start at a more basic skill level, expanding the range of their own programs and partnering with private technical schools to reverse the technician deficit.

    Enrolling suitable recruits is not easy.

    “There’s less of a mechanical interest and understanding among young people,” said Gary Uyematsu, national technical training manager at BMW of North America, noting that the biggest hurdle in hiring is the difference in basic skills. “They are not hands-on. Mechanics used to start with some gas station experience. Now the experience a person gets working at a gas station is selling slushies.”

    Who could have seen this coming?

    1. KibbledKristen

      So they’re just regurgitating what Mike Rowe has been saying for years? The articles just write themselves!

  49. The Late P Brooks

    And-

    Providing career paths in skilled trades is valuable for young people who may be technically adept but not especially interested in conventional paths.

    No

    fucking

    way.

  50. Juice

    You mean the left is closed-minded when it comes to an open debate on their ideas? Harsanyi says no shit, Sherlock.

    Aw, goddammit. Because of reading that link I found out that Roy Spencer is a fucking creationist. Ugh. Just shaking my head here. I guess I never paid attention to him, but fuck. That’s awful. Guess it’s time to throw him on the “you’re not helping, please go away” pile along with “Lord” Monckton and the like.

  51. KibbledKristen

    Everything about this is an “oh, for fuck’s sake!”