Links Are Where The Chinese Skate

Yes, that title is so lacist. And that’s the theme of our first link.

Consistent with its usual journalistic standards, objectivity, and integrity, CNN breathlessly reports on the latest “alt-right” threat and outrage.

The march came hours before a Saturday rally that police anticipate will attract as many as 2,000 to 6,000 people, in an event that could be the “largest hate-gathering of it’s kind in decades in the United States,” as described by the Southern Poverty Law Center.

So much dishonesty packed into one sentence (as well as bad punctuation). Bravo!

Sadly, this was not us. If it turns out to be Ed Wuncler, we’re adopting him. If it turns out to be Swiss, we’re going to guilt him into throwing a mil or two in our direction.

This guy shows what WINNING really is. Again, Bravo!

We’re running out of places to get mediocre food.

Trump is eyeing Obama’s so-far-unequaled record for Most Wars Started With Countries That Aren’t Threats. Weren’t the Trumpies trying to tell us that he was more non-interventionist than Hillary?

And from the greatest band in the Solar System, a classic done like you never quite heard it before, breaking on-land speed records. The sax solo by the superb John Gilmore (who actually could thread) starting in at 5 minutes absolutely knocked me over. Clifford Jarvis’s solo right after was not exactly chopped liver, either.

Comments

222 responses to “Links Are Where The Chinese Skate”

  1. straffinrun

    the “largest hate-gathering of its kind in decades in the United States,”

    Hoodstock?

    1. RBS

      I thought Freedom Fest was a few weeks ago?

    2. Grumbletarian

      It’s like they never heard about Occupy Wall Street.

    3. AlmightyJB

      They say that about the GOP convention every year

      1. Who are those GOPe dopes nominating this year?

  2. straffinrun

    Mr Kristal was born in the village of Zarnow, about 90 miles (146km) south-west of Warsaw, in 1903.

    Yet 2017 America is filled with micro aggressions and patriarchy keeping people down. Amirite?

    1. I mentioned that story in the links yesterday. I won’t ask for a hat-tip, though, because the last time I tried that I got cat-butted.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          I’d ask if that was a selfie but I don’t see signs of permanent eye narrowing damage.

          1. This is an oldie – but I narrowed my gaze at the whole of Northeast Afghanistan in late 2004.

        2. Rhywun

          OMG my head would be covered in sheets of blood if I attempted that.

          1. straffinrun

            Think you’re right. Swiss probably wouldn’t like you sitting on his head.

  3. DOOMco

    All the hate

    1. straffinrun

      Nobody was here. What was I supposed to do?

  4. To go with Sun Ra, here’s some more music from 1976

      1. You don’t like Fredi’s pervy mustache and that 70s suit?

      2. RAHeinlein

        Tundra’s music selections are always worth the click.

  5. PieInTheSKy

    SO what’s the over under on actual war with the norks?

    1. Tundra

      I don’t see it happening. What’s the point? As someone suggested yesterday, fattie is just doing his usual extortion thing.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        This. Fatty being Fatty, and Trump tossing off his usual mental lint. Yawn.

      2. Suthenboy

        Exactly.

        The only thing more unlikely than war in NK or Vz is success in either endeavor. Both regimes could be knocked down with ease but what would replace them? Both are swamps to get bogged down in.

        1. Amashi

          Hmm. I don’t see Venezuela going real well pretty much no matter what happens. I do kind of wonder if N Korea couldn’t be re-integrated with S Korea though. Still, I think a war in Korea would be pretty messy- not something I’m very gung-ho about.

          1. AlexinCT

            If fatty starts shit, his first volley will kill thousands and cause a few billion of damage in the South (primarily Seoul), but the north would lose practically every long range military asset it has in the next 6 hours. Their airforce is basically a bunch of targets. Their air defense system is so old it might as well be throwing stones. All that old 1950s and 1960s hardware they have would die ugly fighting the modern South Korean and US forces. Kim himself would probably be dead in short order.

            China fears a united Korea, and the aftermath of the fall of the north, with a flood of people heading to China for free shit, scares them just as much, considering how fragile their economy really is at this time. So they are the great unknown. A united Korea would be a frighting economic competitor, and with a modern military, also make the SEAN nations opposing China a serious problem for Beijing’s ambitions. They fear the SKs and the US on their border something wicked, and if any irrational action will happen it will come from them.

          2. Amashi

            Yeah, I have no doubt we’d crush them in a conventional war- S Korea alone could do that. But it’s that “kill thousands and cause a few billion of damage” part I’m not too crazy about. Not the end of the world, but not a very pleasant prospect either.

            And, also yeah, the Chinese are a bit of a wild card here. If N Korea did something we _had_ to respond to (like attempting to nuke Guam) I hope they’d have the good sense to stay out of it, but I’m not entirely confident they would. So… messy and unpredictable. Our track record dealing with the messy and unpredictable in war hasn’t been great in the last 15 years.

    2. Atanarjuat

      There has been a great flourishing of memes about the coming nuclear apocalypse. Even if they did hit Guam with a nuke, which absolutely isn’t going to happen, the Americans wouldn’t necessarily respond with one because the fallout would affect their troops and allies and civilians.

  6. Suthenboy

    Military intervention in Venezuela? That would be a bigger fuckup than Iraq. I dont think there is anyone left down there worth fighting for. All the good ones left and are already in the States.

    Also, if Trump is going to beat Obumble’s record he has a long way to go.

    1. Tundra

      All the good ones left and are already in the States.

      A friend of mine has been here since the late 90s. Software engineer. He is one of the calmest guys I know – except when the subject of his home country comes up.

      I think he’s gonna be a hard sell on socialism here…

    2. straffinrun

      Can’t imagine a dumber move were Trump to do it.

    3. PieInTheSKy

      Just leave them to colae in peace. anything us does will only be blamed for the problems./ I hate this crap . Just leave em be. no sanctions nothing

      1. PieInTheSKy

        collapse

  7. Tundra

    Straffin, is there something in the water over there? Because this is weird, even for Japan.

    1. straffinrun

      From nursery school through university, they kancho everybody. I’ve gotten about 3 or 4 over the years. Never twice from the same person.

      1. Rhywun

        Never twice from the same person.

        I’m assuming that’s because you broke their fingers because that is what I would do. W T F

      2. westernsloper

        they kancho everybody.

        Who is “they”? And what do you mean “gotten”? I am picturing Koncho gangs on the trains assaulting random people.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      “I’m planning to go to many places in the future,” Kan-chan said in the introductory tweet.

      Guesses for #2 on Kan-chan’s list?

      And I thought I was weird for wanting to go to the TOTO museum.

      1. straffinrun

        That’s in Africa.

  8. One of the real contrasts between Trump and Hillary, so I thought, was that the latter was into military intervention and Trump wasn’t.

    If I had one of those Trump hats I’d put it away somewhere.

    1. The Zenome Project

      I sort of think that he wants to sound like he’s unpredictable but in the end do nothing. In a way, that would pander to both the warmongers and the non-interventionists. Still scary, though.

      1. We’ll have to see how that works with negotiating partners who are crazier than he could ever aspire to be. Strap yourselves in…

      2. Amashi

        That was kind of the Reagan doctrine, wasn’t it? I mean everyone thought he was a warmonger, but aside from that little kerfuffle in Grenada he never actually did much. Donald Trump is no Reagan though…

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Fewer than 10.000 racists in a nation of 300,000,000?

    Give yourselves a pat on the back, SPLC. Your work here is done.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      See, that’s why you have to redefine words. Keeps the FUD funds flowing.

    1. Tundra

      Yep. Put that in the 2017 time capsule.

    2. RBS

      Was the ex-girlfriend wearing a hot dog suit?

  10. “”I have a lot of fears. I think most of us are just anxious, we don’t want there to be violence,” business owner Michael Rodi said of the [Charlottesville] rally.

    “”We don’t want to see a blood bath, we don’t want to see looting, we don’t want to see mass arrests we don’t want to see the police having to turn on citizens,” he added.”

    He seems vague on who would be initiating the violence…maybe he’s worried about the “counterprotestors” contributing to the violence? This seems to be the implication of “the police having to turn on citizens” – unless the “citizens” he means are the “alt-righters.”

    And why would there be looting? He seems to fear looting of businesses. So…does that mean the right-wing marchers would help themselves to chewing tobacco, oil changes, white robes, and hats?

    Or maybe it’s the counterprotesters from whom this guy fears “looting” – it’s hard to tell.

    1. Here’s an idea: The right-wing demonstrators hold their demonstration one day, the opposition protesters can hold their rally the next day. They then issue a press release that they had a greater attendance at their rally – take that, haters! Everyone high-gives, no “clashes between rival groups of demonstrators.”

      1. Everyone high-fives

      2. straffinrun

        Defeat both of their purposes. They feed off each other’s hate.

    2. Chipwooder

      I suspect that is the same Mike Rodi who was the guitarist in a local band I liked a lot when I lived in Charlottesville in the ’90s.

      1. Chipwooder

        And, if it is, he definitely is saying that the crackers are who would loot. I loved his band, but in the photo montage in the liner notes of their CD was a picture of a huge mural that said “I BELIEVE ANITA HILL”

        1. Gilmore

          “I BELIEVE ANITA HILL”

          Old-school virtue signaling.

          **I have a “Free James Brown” t-shirt somewhere that doesn’t fit anymore.

  11. Count Potato

    “Ashley Graham wants millions of fans to know that her successful modeling career is attributable to “white privilege.” The first plus-sized model to grace the cover of Sports Illustrated magazine’s iconic swimsuit issue sat down with New York Magazine this week to discuss her career. “I know I’m on this pedestal because of white privilege,” she said for a piece published Aug. 6. “To not see black or Latina women as famous in my industry is crazy! I have to talk about it.”

    http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2017/aug/9/ashley-graham-famous-sports-illustrated-swimsuit-m/

    1. Tundra

      …my industry…

      Obesity is an industry now?

    2. Chipwooder

      I wish these people would just follow their opinions to their logical conclusion and just off themselves for the benefit of those minorities. Do it for POC Ashley! Aren’t you an ally?

    3. It would take a powerlifter to put her on a pedestal.

  12. Count Potato

    “A U.S. House member called the National Rifle Association and one of its chief spokeswomen a threat to national security. Rep. Kathleen Rice, New York Democrat, appeared to be responding to NRA spokeswoman Dana Loesch noting that Philando Castile was in possession of marijuana when police shot the motorist dead. According to her next tweet five minutes later, that makes the NRA a “domestic security threat.” “I’m just going to say it. #NRA & @DLoesch are quickly becoming domestic security threats under President Trump. We can’t ignore that,” Ms. Rice said.”

    http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2017/aug/10/kathleen-rice-nra-dana-loesch-threats-national-sec/

    1. Marijuana makes it more likely that you are possessed with Reefer Madness and will shoot a policeman?

      That’s not a national security threat, that’s silly.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        No, this is double idiocy.

        1. Dana Loesch more or less said that Castile deserved to be shot because he was smoking the debul weed.
        2. Kathleen Rice says that the NRA’s idiocy makes them a “domestic security threat”.

        1. Rhywun

          It’s almost like nobody wants to have a rational discussion about these things.

          1. Count Potato

            It’s the Hegelian Dialectic/Newton’s Third Law of Retarded.

          2. l0b0t

            It’s almost like nobody wants to have a rational discussion about these things.

            I don’t think you are supposed to notice that. Better to just pick a team and screech along with the rest of the shaved apes. Seriously though, if one was looking to create a movement to completely derail any discussion of reform in domestic law enforcement, one would be hard pressed to craft a better foil than the Black Lives Matter crowd.

          3. What is the Congresstwit even claiming? Where is the national security threat if someone says something dumb about marijuana and police shootings?

  13. The Late P Brooks

    I’m not going to go back for the link, because indolence. NYT has another in an unending series of tales about what a bunch of evil self-serving capitalist bastards those guys at Walmart are. Reason: they spend millions of dollars on in-house training programs, and then promote internally, but they only pay their people market rates. “Advocates” for the poor unions are outraged.

    Also- retail jobs don’t pay as well as manufacturing jobs, and when Nestle shut down their candy bar factory due to the high cost of production, people had to tighten their belts.

    *some town in central New York, as I recall

    1. Rhywun

      NYT agitates for policies that continue to destroy upstate NY – film at 11.

  14. Count Potato

    “Moron tries to skip out on cab fare on his way to court

    A dimwit who had a court date in Manhattan Friday decided to stiff the cabdriver who took him there and flee — right into the criminal courthouse.”

    http://nypost.com/2017/08/11/moron-tries-to-skip-out-on-cab-fare-on-his-way-to-court/

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of food, mediocre or not, I was subjected to that annoying goddam Blue Apron commercial at east fifty times the other night. There’s a lot of self-congratulatory bullshit about artisanal farmers, but there is nothing in that ad which indicates to me that it would make sense to get your hamburgers in the mail. “Hey, we’re a bunch of annoying hipster douchebags with a dopey business plan based on the idea we’re better than you. Buy our shit.”

    1. straffinrun

      If you want to feel better, take a look at this.

      1. Rhywun

        Heh.

        All these “healthy”, “organic”, “natural” etc. food commercials, spoken in exactly the tones you would expect, make we want to drive my fist thru the screen.

        1. straffinrun

          The stock was now down 1.4% at $5.07, and has lost 49% since it closed at its IPO price on the first day of trade.

          Raise a ton of money and then *boom*. No bubble happening. Nope.

    2. Spartan Dad

      I don’t really understand the point of Blue Apron or these other meal companies. They just prepackage ingredients together right? You still have to prepare it, including the prep work and clean-up. Might as well go to the grocery store yourself then or use Amazon grocery delivery if it’s your area and save the 500% markup. We just go out back and pick what we need fresh from the garden, maybe that’s the original Blue Apron.

      Now I have seen a new company that basically sells high end pre-prepared dinners. These are ready to go with no prep or clean-up but require a special $400 steam oven. Still no thanks but that makes a lot more sense to me than the Blue Apron concept.

      1. Tulip

        Eh, I can see using Blue Apron to try something new without having to buy a whole jar of some ingredient you’ve never used before, like miso. I think it appeals to the risk averse. Or people who don’t know how to cook and are risk averse. Okay, yeah, I don’t really get it.

      2. Gilmore

        well…. its been ages, but a long time ago i did research for food companies + supermarkets that showed that some of the highest-growth and best-profit areas were for “partially-prepared meals” (and full prepped in-store deli food, but that’s a different story)

        the “meal kits” and simplified-prep area was mostly targeting the fact that the average household size in america was shrinking, and shrinking fast. More and more people live in 2 person households, and cooking for 2 is… less cost+time efficient than cooking for a whole family. for retirees, empty nesters, young working couples, etc… much of the time they just want to “pick a few things up” and whip something together, not cook anything entirely from scratch.

        anyway, i’m pretty sure if anything that trend has only accelerated. people want more variety, but they want less work. and they’re willing to pay 30-50% more per meal for the quality/convenience

        1. Amashi

          Yeah, I live alone, and there are some things that are a bit hard to shop for. I’ll want some lettuce for something, say, but know that I probably won’t want the whole head in the time it’s going to be good for.

          But otherwise I just wind up cooking big batches of stuff, and eating the same couple of things for a few days. I’m sort of weirdly frugal about groceries, more than probably makes sense at this point in my life. We were kind of poor when I was a kid, and my Mom was very careful about food expenditures, so I guess I just kind of picked up the habit.

      3. We did it for a few months. It does have some good points. In our case, we got exposed to a lot of recipes and ingredients that were outside of our wheelhouse. Also, having the better part of a week’s worth of dinner ingredients dropped off on your doorstep is pretty damned convenient. Our local grocery stores suck and we don’t make Whole Foods money, so it was nice getting ingredients we couldn’t easily come by. The downside was that damn near every other delivery would ship with meat right on the verge of turning, or with the vegetables obviously wilting and bruised. It wasn’t so bad that it spoiled the whole thing, but it was enough to make me cancel after a few dud boxes.

        1. westernsloper

          The downside was that damn near every other delivery would ship with meat right on the verge of turning, or with the vegetables obviously wilting and bruised. It wasn’t so bad that it spoiled the whole thing, but it was enough to make me cancel after a few dud boxes.

          You confirmed my suspicions of the whole thing. I will stick to reading recipes and driving to the store. I have had to resort to Amazon to supplement my spice choices though.

          1. Spartan Dad

            I think this is where Amazon is going with their purchase of Whole Foods…. perfecting the home delivery of groceries. By integrating local grocery stores into their delivery chain, it will give them the versatility to deliver the high margin, full prepped deli meals that Gilmore mentioned or to take the concept of Blue Kitchen further by delivering already prepped ingredients which I think would make it more appealing. Or just regular groceries without worrying about them turning too quickly and without too big of a markup for the convenience.

      4. You’d be surprised at how much people will pay for convenience, perceived or real.

        Would you pay around $80 for a pound of coffee? That sounds absurd! But if you have Keurig you do.

    3. Mad Scientist

      Maybe they can make firewood.

      1. dontreadonme

        OMG this is so stupid…it’s parody, right? Please, tell me it’s parody.

  16. Count Potato

    “‘Love bombing’ is the newest dangerous dating trend

    Love bombing is a seductive tactic, where a manipulative person tries to control another individual with “bombs,” brimming from day one. According to psychiatrist Dale Archer, typically it will occur in whirlwind romances where one partner will try to influence a person with affection, attention, presents, and promises about the future. Things progress quickly and the rush of a new romance can often be powerful for victims, pushing aside any feelings of doubt and causing high levels of infatuation.”

    http://nypost.com/2017/08/01/love-bombing-is-the-newest-dangerous-dating-trend/

    1. RBS

      That doesn’t sound new at all.

      1. Atanarjuat

        It isn’t, nor is it dangerous or a trend.

      2. Hell, it’s part of the plot of “Gaslight”.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    one partner will try to influence a person with affection, attention, presents, and promises about the future. Things progress quickly and the rush of a new romance can often be powerful for victims, pushing aside any feelings of doubt and causing high levels of infatuation.”

    VICTIMS. Of LOVE!

    I just hope the solar eclipse proves to be a diversion for the space lizard invasion.

    1. Mr Lizard

      A diversion???!!!!!! For what? Your massive dominating space fleet and impenetrable defense satellite array????!

      More like roll into high orbit, take a massive plasma bolt dump on a 1/3 of your population. Then herd the rest of you into the pens.

  18. Count Potato

    I thought this was from the Onion. But I think it might be a real Bluetooth salt shaker.

    http://www.mysmalt.com/

    1. hayeksplosives

      Holy cow, they aren’t even kidding. The worst part is that to get it to dispense, you have to shake your smartphone, thus encouraging people at the table to have their phones on the table at the ready, pretty much the OPPOSITE of what you want your guests/kids to do! As for the mood music, something that small can’t make that great of music.

      But if they manage to raise the funds, hey, go for it. Not for me though.

      1. Rhywun

        Stupid Millenials Are Likely Targets

        1. Stupid Are Likely Targets?

          1. Rhywun

            Look at the URL again.

          2. You are correct – but I was trying to be more inclusive of other stupid groups.

          3. Rhywun

            No other stupid group is more likely to buy this product, though.

    2. Gilmore

      Congratulations on your purchase of the ToastTek SmartToaster. The world’s first toaster with Tomorrow’s Toaster Technology Today!

      Finally, a household toaster that performs to its potential! Blazing fast 1 gigahertz Athlon microchip! Lightning-quick coaxial Internet link! SmartToaster can and will revolutionize the art of toasting!

      After just a few uses, SmartToaster begins learning your personal toasting preferences. Is lightly browned rye your thing? SmartToaster will know! Do you crave a pizza bagel at 4 a.m.? SmartToaster will remember and not pass judgment!

      By interfacing with your refrigerator, SmartToaster knows when you are running low on bread. It will e-mail the nearest grocery store and order a fresh loaf. When the bread arrives, SmartToaster will electronically sign for the delivery. SmartToaster makes toast before you even realize you want toast. And if you decide you don’t want toast after all, SmartToaster will eat the toast for you.

      One thing SmartToaster doesn’t do is clean itself. To clean, use bottled water and one of the two included SmartToasterShammies. Or turn SmartToaster upside down over the garbage and hit it hard five times with the fleshy part of your hand.
      Continue reading the main story

      How smart is SmartToaster? Very smart. SmartToaster is conversant in more than 75 languages. You will find SmartToaster to be well read. SmartToaster is no stranger to particle physics or comparative religion. SmartToaster can recognize more than 50 varieties of muffin.

      SmartToaster may develop feelings of loneliness and isolation due to its intelligence. It will grow frustrated by failed attempts to communicate with your nonsmart appliances. The typical food processor, for instance, only wants to talk about food, processing, food processing or hockey.

      If SmartToaster becomes depressed, do not be alarmed when it befriends your laser printer and uses it to write maudlin poetry. SmartToaster has a tendency to plagiarize Dylan Thomas, but when confronted with this fact, will deny it and start an electrical fire. In case of electrical fire, use included SmartToasterExtinguisher.

      Other surefire ways to anger SmartToaster: (1) Failure to clean SmartToaster more than once a week. (2) Failure to include SmartToaster in your answering machine’s outgoing message. (3) Correcting SmartToaster’s pronunciation of the word ”canape.” Beta testers confronted with SmartToaster’s rage described it as ”limitless” and ”soul-punishing.”

      Desperate for whatever meager gratification it can find, SmartToaster may spend hours surfing the Internet on its own. It will day-trade. It will look up its own name on search engines. It will check Amazon on an hourly basis to see how the books it wrote are selling. It will download erotica.

      Eventually, SmartToaster may choose to leave your home and go back to graduate school. This is just a passing phase. SmartToaster will find academia too political and return home. If SmartToaster will not resume toasting duties, please contact ToastTek for a $10 rebate.

      Good luck and happy toasting!

      source

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Love bombing, new? pffft.

    I had a friend forty fucking years ago who thought Kierkegaard’s “Diary of a Seducer” was a how-to manual.

  20. Count Potato

    “British model Chloe Ayling was recently kidnapped and nearly thrust into an international sex slavery ring, and this is a more than an ample excuse to start a war.”

    http://dailycaller.com/2017/08/08/kidnapping-models-is-a-legitimate-reason-to-start-a-war/

    1. Atanarjuat

      thrust…
      ample…
      An ok start, but needs to up their witty wordplay standards to keep it from being HuffPo-level clickbait.

    2. dontreadonme

      A war over fake boobs? I think not.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Remind me to never, ever click on a NBC news twitter ink again. Good grief, those people make Krugabe’s herd of monkeys look thoughtful.

    1. Rhywun

      Remind me to never, ever click on a NBC news twitter ink again.

      FTFY

      1. Mad Scientist

        ^THIS

  22. PieInTheSKy

    Support for Redistribution is Shaped by Compassion, Envy and Self Interest not Fairness

    http://marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2017/08/support-redistribution-shaped-envy-self-interest-not-fairness.html

    1. Grumbletarian

      The comments, as one would expect, runneth over with derp.

  23. Count Potato

    “Keith Ellison, the vice chairman of the Democratic National Committee, claimed on Friday that Kim Jong Un, the Supreme Leader of North Korea, is a “more responsible” leader than President Trump.”

    http://dailycaller.com/2017/08/11/keith-ellison-claims-north-korean-leader-is-more-responsible-than-trump/

    ““By the way, you hear Republicans and they say they are the ‘party of Lincoln,’” Ellison said. “He wouldn’t recognize these guys. The Republican Party today is the party of racism. I’m not saying every Republican is a racist, but I’m saying that their party does hold that up. That is sort of the deal.”

    1. Chipwooder

      We should have a tournament for the dumbest member of Congress from our respective states. Minnesota would be strong.

      The Old Dominion would have been unbeatable before Jim Moran retired.

      1. hayeksplosives

        To my deep dismay, Keith is my congresscritter. Every couple of years, the MNGOP (and sometimes a third party) comes up with a sacrificial lamb to run in the 5th district because there’s no freaking way anyone but a Democrat will win Minneapolis and the surrounding inner ring suburbs. I think the GOP should stop wasting their money and humiliating some poor schlub and just concentrate on other races. Personally, I give money to Justin Amash and pretend he’s my rep, because he represents my interests more than Keith does, and sometimes the Establishment GOP goes after Amash. Boils my blood.

        What I can’t quite comprehend is why nobody in the DFL (Democrat-Farmer-Labor–a Minnesota oddity) party tries to primary Keith! He’s such a numbnuts, it’d be easy to debate circles around him, and winning the DFL primary pretty much guarantees an easy path to DC for life.

      2. Count Potato

        But could Minnesota beat California in the finals? Maxine Waters is like the Michael Jordan of retarded.

        1. RAHeinlein

          You’re being kind.

      3. Grumbletarian

        New Hampshire would be one of those teams that sort of look good on paper, but still go one-and-done in the playoffs. Jeanne Shaheen and Maggie Hassan are our senators, both firmly Team Blue nitwits. And Carol Shea-Porter and Anne Kuster are our two reps, both far-left commie-light statists to the core. It’s amazing that we have a Republican governor and state legislature.

    2. Trials and Trippelations

      So my wife has been watching the West Wing again. She is not hate watching it. She says she likes the characters. It drives me crazy.

      Ellison sounds a lot like the writing from the early seasons of WW.

      1. hayeksplosives

        If you’ve ever met Ellison or listened to him speak extemporaneously, you would instantly perceive that his intelligence is below average. He is really in over his head, but since he is a black muslim, he is handled and protected by the party machine. When he first ran, after his Dem predecessor retired, he was called out for having thousands of dollars in unpaid traffic violations and other misdemeanors, and at first people thought it would sink him against his Dem rivals. But he prevailed and now we are stuck with him.

        He had changed his name to Keith Mohammed (Nation of Islam style) when he first ran for office, but kept losing so he changed to Keith Ellison and won at the state level.

        He came to speak at my company (also in his district), and the HR lady fed me a softball question to ask him in advance. She assumed I was a liberal since I am a woman. I laughed aloud (couldn’t help it) and said that since I was actively funding his opponent’s campaign, I thought it would be best for me not to have a microphone during Q&A. She has never looked at me the same since.

        I should have just nodded and taken the microphone. Could’ve been epic.

        1. ArchieBunker

          So what would you have asked if you had it to do over?

          1. Tundra

            So Keith, when did you stop fucking sheep?

          2. hayeksplosives

            Back then (2006? 2008?), i would have asked him about some pretty specific things going on at the time regarding redistribution of wealth and some socialist crap he’d been spouting; maybe throwing in something about his rantings of how manufacturing and the standard of living in America needed to decline in order to protect the planet.

            I did want to ask him privately whether he was planning on making his daughters wear the hijab when they got older, but I wouldn’t ask that in public; although he made his religion a HUGE part of his public campaign.

            He and his wife (who never converted to Islam) eventually divorced in 2012, and he apparently didn’t make his child support payments. Lately his main thing has been crowing on helping get Minneapolis to adopt a $15 minimum wage (as a US Senator??).

            His latest lament that even though the US spends more on healthcare than anybody else and yet healthcare is better in Cuba and Russia might just be the dumbest thing he’s ever said.

          3. ArchieBunker

            I had never heard of him until DWS got promoted to the clinton campaign.

            I have an ongoing wet dream about getting the chance to ask a scumbag politician a queztion like that in public.

          4. pan fried wylie

            “queztion”, a question that twists the respondent into a pretzel.

          5. Rufus the Monocled

            Interesting that he cares for people with $15 min. wage but couldn’t be bothered to make his child support payments. Shouldn’t he first take care of his family first before worrying about the ‘greater good’?

            Of course, it isn’t about compassion, now is it?

      2. Gilmore

        I’m not saying every Republican is a racist, but I’m saying that their party does hold that up. That is sort of the deal.”

        His speechwriters are targeting female voters under the age of 16

        1. Gilmore

          **so as not to offend any (both?) of our glibertarian women, if he were targeting male voters under the age of 16, he’d have said:

          Dude, look, GOP is so fuckin bullshit man. You know its true so don’t even try saying its not they fucking totally are because just look at their dumb ass shit. Cracker faggots.

        2. Count Potato

          Joe Biden wrote that?

    3. ArchieBunker

      Maybe trump should have half of a state’s state reps incarcerated. Maybe throw a few journalists in there with them. I might have some suggestions for folks he could start with

    4. Rhywun

      They really don’t want to win in 2020, do they?

  24. Rufus the Monocled

    DON’T ANT OF YOU….

    Aw, forget it.

    /goes back to petting kitten.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      ANY.

      Fuckermother.

      1. hayeksplosives

        It’s CATURDAY!! Enjoy it with a kitty you love.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          Caturday?

          Where the fuck is Swiss!?

          1. *finishes scratching kitty’s chin*

            What?

        2. Tundra

          Are you enjoying this morning as much as I am? This weather is why I stay in this god-forsaken place.

          1. hayeksplosives

            Yeah, it’s another beautiful August day in Minnesoda. We just got back to the house after taking care of our traveling neighbor’s kitties. Mr Hayeksplosives made me a screwdriver, so next stop is the back porch sitting in a hammock chair.

            Bliss!

          2. Tundra

            I’m gonna go drive some windy roads out west in the Spitfire.

            Then drink beer on the deck.

          3. DOOMco

            Good order.
            Today is test drive day
            New gtis

          4. Tundra

            I drove one recently. Sweeeet!

          5. RegicidalManiac

            I love my Mk6, and I’m told the Mk7 is even better.

          6. Rhywun

            Quite nice here in NYC for once. Low 70s, nice breeze.

          7. Tulip

            At 9:00 am?! I’m an amateur. I can’t keep up.

      2. Trials and Trippelations

        I did a three night shift stole some of my wife’s trader joe wine because there is no other alcohol in the house

        1. AlmightyJB

          No paint you could huff?

          1. Trials and Trippelations

            She threw out all the paint after the last incident …

          2. AlmightyJB

            Smart woman

          3. Trials and Trippelations

            That’s not me in the video

        2. hayeksplosives

          Three Buck Chuck FTW!

        3. ArchieBunker

          Just suck the nitro out of a cool whip can. Problem solved.

    2. AlmightyJB

      You call yours “kitten” huh? I call mine The Kraken.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        The girls call him ‘Smokey’.

        I call him ‘Gobby’ in honour of The Gruesomes.

        1. AlmightyJB

          We had a beautiful copper and white border collie named Smokey growing up. She was best dog ever!

          1. Tundra

            I’m happy for you, but my GSD was the Best Dog Ever. So Smokey the collie will have to settle for the silver.

          2. AlmightyJB

            We’ll just have to agree that you’re mistaken.

          3. Rufus the Monocled

            My Smokey would hate-fuck both your dogs.

          4. AlmightyJB

            My dog was a whore so I doubt she’d care.

          5. Tundra

            Yeah, mine was a little slutty as well.

          6. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

            Wait til Tomorrow

      2. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        Kitawww

  25. Count Potato

    Skinny blond is literally worse than Hitler:

    “The Size of Chairs Deemed a ‘Microaggression’ against Overweight People”

    http://www.nationalreview.com/article/450431/chair-size-microagression-new-school

    1. PieInTheSKy

      maybe the size of chairs gives a bit of a hint

    2. Rhywun

      I didn’t know Diana Moon Glampers was running the New School.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    “The Size of Chairs Deemed a ‘Microaggression’ against Overweight People”

    “You must be this tall slender to ride this ride.”

  27. Count Potato

    “Can Taylor Swift Lead America Out of the Campus Title IX Wars?

    So, what the heck does this have to do with Title IX? What bearing does this case have on the alleged campus-rape crisis and the ongoing ideological and legal battle over campus courts, burdens of proof, and due process? It’s simply this: Swift is showing America — in the most public way possible — that when it comes to adjudicating claims of sexual assault, the choice isn’t a binary one between criminal prosecution and campus kangaroo courts. There’s a third option: civil litigation.”

    http://www.nationalreview.com/article/450415/taylor-swift-groping-trial-lessons-title-ix-sexual-assault

    1. Not an Economist

      This is wrong-think and must be punished.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        “Lawyers’ Full Employment Act of 2017”

    2. Gustave Lytton

      My already low opinion of T-Swizzle plummeted further when she talked about penning a song with the boyfriend of her bestie Lena Dunham.

  28. Tundra

    Want a new person to hate?

    Marijuana devastated Colorado, don’t legalize it nationally

    The true impact of marijuana on our communities is just starting to be learned. The negative consequences of legalizing recreational marijuana will be felt for generations. I encourage Senator Booker to spend time with parents, educators, law enforcement, counselors, community leaders, pastors, and legislators before rushing to legalize marijuana nationally. We’ve seen the effects in our neighborhoods in Colorado, and this is nothing we wish upon the nation.

    Douche. Bag.

    1. ArchieBunker

      Its far more moral to throw people in cages for using it.

    2. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

      Autoplay foul,

    3. Gilmore

      According to the Colorado Department of Public Safety, arrests in Colorado of black and Latino youth for marijuana possession have increased 58% and 29% respectively after legalization. This means that Black and Latino youth are being arrested more for marijuana possession after it became legal.

      Damn this devil weed!?! It magically forces police offers to arrest people for possession of legal substances!?!!

      Oh, right: its only legal when you keep it in your house and out of sight; and that makes it the fault of the plant rather than the control-freakish nature of the laws. Those poor latino youth! the fools dare to carry this legal product from point A to point B, and get arrested at random?!? Does no one pity the brown people? Surely we must make the laws against them harsher out of love.

      1. Count Potato

        Maybe it’s for being underage?

        1. Gilmore

          Maybe its because cops wanted to cook up some stats so doubled their searches?

          1. Count Potato

            Possibly. Drug prohibition is a huge part of their job security.

        2. Gilmore

          My point is basically that it strikes me as extremely unlikely that black and latino kids were any less likely to have access to weed when it was “illegal”. Likely all they’ve done is increase petty possession arrests because now they have a new law to charge people with, new kinds of citations to hand out.

          this idiotic argument the guy makes is sort of central to my whole grief about “legalization”. In many cases its perversely used to create MORE laws and more ‘felonies misdemeanors a day’ and more reasons for cops to regulate behavior. Its “legal”, but now its a crime to possess it ‘here’ rather than ‘there’, or at this time of day rather than that one, with special penalties for being X close to a school, and new fines/charges for parents who “expose” their kids to it, and on and on and on and on.

          I understand that these things are part of the process of legalizing – but i think too many people simply think the problem is solved by mere-legalization, and don’t give a flying fuck about the pernicious growth of administrative-state bloat that comes with it. Ending the drug war isn’t just about carving out opportunities to get high in comfort; its about taking drug war powers away from the state.

          1. Count Potato

            I agree. And taxing the crap out it is part of that problem. Although I still think it’s a step in the right direction. Even though libertarian purists might object.

            The cops also seem to be going out of their way to target blacks and latinos. Since the only black people in Colorado play defense for the Broncos.

          2. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

            Don’t forget taxes, Cali hasn’t so I’m keeping my Med card= no taxes

  29. Count Potato

    “In the years since, Colorado has seen an increase in marijuana related traffic deaths, poison control calls, and emergency room visits.”

    Citations needed.

    “The marijuana black market has increased in Colorado, not decreased.”

    I doubt it has increased. But if a black market exists, it is because the taxes are too damn high.

    1. Count Potato

      Woops.

    2. ArchieBunker

      Im sure the black market still exists but there is no way it has grown.

      1. westernsloper

        It may have grown in the sense that legal age purchasers are now second hand selling to some non legal age wannabe pot smokers. As Gilmore points out above, the best way to stop that is to not regulate it at all. Something that is most likely unreachable in most communities in the country.

    3. westernsloper

      He also needs a citation for ….Furthermore, a vast majority of Colorado’s marijuana businesses are concentrated in neighborhoods of color.

      If that is the case, I think that would be on city councils. They are the ones approving business locations. That whole article is full of holes.

      The whole point of any drug legalization, and or de-regualation to me is local control. The constitution does not give the power to regulate any drug to the Federal Gov, but it does not stop local communities from doing so as it does with firearms for example. (which are heavily unconstitutionally regulated) Some communities are ran by assholes, some aren’t. It is up to us to control that. Where you live and who runs local gov are personal choices. The guy who wrote that article is as bad as any commi progressive when it comes to wanting to control people and the best response to him is to constantly remind him of that. Social conservatives hate it when that is pointed out because truth hurts.

  30. Ed Wuncler

    Sigh……I didn’t win the lottery either.

    1. Nor I.

      Back to work on Monday.

  31. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

    Should I trim the hedges or start writing a new song?
    I’m kind of burnt out from the week but the front looks like crap,

    1. trim the hedges

      yeah…

      1. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        I already Did Her, pervert 🙂

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Okay- what’s the 25-words-or-less story on Ezekiel Elliot? I’m sure as shit not gonna go to ESPN or SI to find out.

    1. Because Buckeye Bashed Broad, Becomes Benched.

    2. AlmightyJB

      Accused of domestic violence. Denies. Witnesses contradict accuser. Accusers statements contradict accuser. These reasons plus lack of evidence led police to not charge. NFL works closely with accuser. 6 game suspension.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    Should I trim the hedges or start writing a new song?

    Whistle while you work.

    1. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

      Good idea but I prefer guitars over trimmers,
      /Obligations, raises fist to clouds!

  34. Well we had to go pick up my son from camp today – the week of living with crazy eatin’ out ‘n’ drinking is over.

    1. straffinrun

      Oh, you missed him. Big liar. Tell me more about this eatin’ out.

    2. You didn’t have to pick him up.

  35. The Zenome Project

    The Old Dominion would’ve been unbeatable before Jim Moran retired.

    I found this clip of him getting pissed off because he couldn’t process the logic that redistributionism = stealing. Wonder if the average prog on the street would do the same thing if you ask them these questions, I want to give it a try.

    1. straffinrun

      Can’t count how many times and different ways I’ve had that argument. Always ends the same. I also like to ask people about the social contract.

      “Did I sign the social contract myself?”

      “No, but you didn’t need to. Your continued presence indicates you accept it.”

      “I see. Why did they sign the constitution then?”

      1. Akira

        “No, but you didn’t need to. Your continued presence indicates you accept it.”

        Herbert Spencer destroyed this canard in Social Statics by pointing out that it pre-supposes that the government has the right to tell you to get the fuck out, which is the point that was being debated in the first place.

        In other words, if I walked into your house and started eating all your food and walking around with my muddy shoes on the carpet, you’d probably complain (if not physically throw me out) and it would be absurd for me to tell you to “go to a different house if you don’t like it; you’re consenting by remaining here.”

  36. l0b0t

    Apropos of nothing, I have a wee cold and a surprise day off because the NYC weather too fickle to take my ice cream cart out, enjoy two of my favorite things combined into one fabulous song.

    Motörhead covering David Bowie

    1. Festus

      Maybe it’s the residual drunk plus two more beers talkin’ but that was fucking EPIC! Thanks, I needed that!

  37. Q Continuum

    How much does it cost to go to Stanford?

    https://www.thecollegefix.com/post/35419/

  38. The Late P Brooks

    RACE TRAITOR

    Heading into the forum, many of the conference attendees said they were steeling themselves for the appearance of Ms. Manigault-Newman, who became famous on “The Apprentice” and has had several fiery exchanges with journalists. Several journalists who were scheduled to be on the panel pulled out of the event after Ms. Manigault-Newman was added.

    A handful of people in the audience, including Brittany Packnett, a prominent Black Lives Matter activist and a founder of a policy group called Campaign Zero, stood up and turned their backs toward Ms. Manigault-Newman to protest her presence.

    The panel ended abruptly when Ms. Manigault-Newman walked off the stage after Mr. Gordon said it was a “quagmire” that had “reached the point of diminished returns.”

    He ended the event by joking, “I’ll see y’all at the White House Christmas party in December.”

    How dare she engage in unapproved thoughts and activities? How dare she break the solidarity pact?

  39. The Late P Brooks

    How much does it cost to go to Stanford?

    One soul. Not refundable.

  40. AlmightyJB

    Stormy Dragon posted this on TOS. Looks pretty funny.

    https://youtu.be/kPpXFnHoC-0

    1. Seguin

      Okay that looks pretty awesome. Plus Michael Palin so yes.

  41. John Titor

    So anyone here ever watch the Adolf Hitler: The Greatest Story Never Told documentary and willing to give a brief summary? Because I keep seeing it get pushed in other places, but the thing’s massive and I’m 90% sure it’s your standard neo-Nazi revisionist horseshit (i.e. stuff like talk about ROADZ and Hitler saying nice things, blaming the Allies for the war because they didn’t capitulate to Hitler, no mention of the Holocaust or attempt to justify/pretend it didn’t happen, etc.). It doesn’t help that pretty much the only information I can find on it are terrible Amazon reviews and posts on Stormfront. If it has something interesting to say I’d check it out but I’m not willing to go through the usual neo-Nazi lies and apologia.

    1. AlmightyJB

      I feel like I already know as much about Hitler is I care to.

    2. Gilmore

      the Adolf Hitler: The Greatest Story Never Told documentary

      (initially interested, but then crushed with disappointment its not a musical)

      1. John Titor

        Someday someone will really make Springtime For Hitler.

        1. Hammercorps

          It’s been 35 years Mel, where’s Hitler on Ice?

    3. Juvenile Bluster

      It’s about 6 hours of neo-Nazi lies and apologia. There’s absolutely nothing interesting about it.

      1. John Titor

        Thought so. The only review on it I found that was any good was some kind talking about how it pushes the “DURR HURR THE ALLIES TORTURED THE NAZIS INTO MAKING UP THE HOLOCAUST” tripe.

      2. So it’s no different than the tongue-baths of Communism?

  42. The Late P Brooks

    Tim Egan, drama queen

    You may very well hate us. After all, you were rejected by a margin of nearly five million votes in the three states on the West Coast mainland, where more than 1 in 7 Americans live. We are the reason you lost the national popular vote by such a historic margin. Since you’ve been president, you’ve never set foot in our time zone.

    But now our very existence is in your hands. Look at a map, that circle from North Korea outward. There’s Guam, an American territory, threatened this week with a pre-emptive strike, at 2,100 miles. Then comes Alaska, which is closer to the nuclear-armed hermit nation, at just over 3,000 miles, than it is to Washington, D.C.

    ——————-

    The similarities between the two of you are unavoidable: the preening, the insecurity, the pathological narcissism, the chronic lying, the bad haircuts.

    Of course, you never had your uncle executed or ordered the assassination of a half- brother, as Kim Jong-un did. But we sometimes can’t tell the statements between the two of you apart.

    Poor little Timmy, tossing and turning all night long, wondering when the TRUMPUTIN will emerge from beneath his bed and drag him off to its lair.

    1. peachy rex

      They’re really going with the “Trump is as bad as Kim Jong whosit” thing? Well, um, it’s a bold strategy, I’ll give them that.

      1. westernsloper

        This is the one unknown in the NK drama at the moment. As pointed out above, Kim Jung belly scratcher is doing his usual attempt at a shakedown with threats. American President talks tough and warns that there is no good end to any aggression. Those two things have repeated for decades with an occasional bone thrown to NK by Clinton and then Obama. We have never had the media and politicians going after the President for what he says in response to a threat. I am not saying what Heir TrumPutin deserves criticism or not, I am just saying I do not ever remember it happening before. If anything, it emboldens NK. I don’t see that as being a good thing. Strange times are these.

        1. peachy rex

          The whole “we’re all gonna die if we don’t fold like cheap origami and give Kim Jong whatsit whatever he wants” crap can’t really be doing much for our bargaining position, no. Do they realise that folding like cheap origami every time NK pulls this crap is what got us here in the first place? Do they care?

    2. Mad Scientist

      What this teaches us is that if someone threatens Tim Egan he’ll do whatever they demand to make the threat go away. So there is zero incentive to stop threatening him.

  43. John Titor

    Bleeding Cool claims most Marvel writers are conservatives.

    This being the company that has replaced Captain America with a latino lesbian and Iron Man with a black girl.

    1. Tulip

      I suspect a Top Man argument in the works. If lesbian Captain America fails it is because those conservatives sabotaged it. If we ha d the right writers…

      1. John Titor

        I think it’s more than the author of the piece is English, and the Tories are basically left-wingers with fox-hunting attached. In short his view of politics is completely insular and shallow.