STEVE SMITH SATURDAY NIGHT ACTION

DATE NIGHT AND STEVE SMITH NEED TO FIND HIKERS TO SCRATCH HIS ITCH. IN MEANTIME, HE FIND LINKS AND PLUGS BOOK BY BROTHER AND ANOTHER BY SOME LADY HE BARELY REMEMBER BUT LIKELY RAPED.

STEVE SMITH VERY VERY RELIEVED.

STEVE SMITH NOT LIKE HIKERS THAT FIGHT BACK.

“IRMA” NOT SOUND THREATENING ENOUGH. BETTER WAY TO MAKE PEOPLE RUN IS TELL THEM STEVE SMITH ON WAY.

SOMETIMES STEVE SMITH NOT QUITE KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

HEAR HIKER COMING. STEVE SMITH BE BUSY FOR A WHILE. HIKER WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER AND TREASURE SPECIAL MOMENT.

 

 

Comments

304 responses to “STEVE SMITH SATURDAY NIGHT ACTION”

  1. Lackadaisical

    On some libertarian FB group people were talking about how the comments section of TOS was worthwhile, but no longer.

    Is it encouraged to get the Glib name out there, or is that inviting trouble and not appreciated? It certainly increases the chances of trolls, but also of increasing the number of people here.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      I wouldn’t worry much about trolls. SP has a rather low tolerance for that, and people figure it out quickly. Or not, in which case, they are shown the tender mercies of the cat butt and then STEVE SMITH.

    2. I thought we were all Tulpa.

      1. Sean

        Some days I’m Tulpa, some days I’m Poppy.
        Depends on the meds…

      2. SIV

        I wish you were all MNG! For the lulz.

    3. AlmightyJB

      I think it’s pretty clear that TOS is hurting the libertarian cause more than it’s helping it at this point.

      1. Lackadaisical

        Advocating for anti-libertarian stances, supporting people who are purposefully torpedoing the brand and alienating those with dissenting views within libertarianism would tend to do that.

      2. Waterfall Insurance

        Somehow TOS and the LP have managed to squander and sully Gay Jay’s legacy.

        1. AlmightyJB

          Lol

      3. SIV

        That’s the plan, Stan.

        1. thrakkorzog

          Maybe it is time to make new ploy Roy.

    4. DesigNate

      I’ve seen that multiple times on their own FB posts. Sad.

  2. SOMETIMES STEVE SMITH NOT QUITE KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

    They couldn’t include an image of the meme?

  3. AlmightyJB

    Go Bucks!

  4. Lachowsky

    Well, I just got done watching Arkansas embarassing itself against TCU. I have been largely uncritical of BERT for the past four years. Im done. I’m now on the fire my coach train.

    1. If they fire him, are you going to hop on your wife to celebrate?

      1. Lachowsky

        Yeah, i remember that quote. Was funny at the time. Tonight, we scored a whopping 7 points at home against TCU. We missed two chip shot field goals with the kicker who missed field goals all year last year. Our O line sucks and that should be BERTs thing. Our freshman wideouts couldn’t get open. I’m just gonna quit here. I am enormously frustrated with my football program.

        Baseball season starts in march.

        1. DesigNate

          It’s not like TCU is a crap team anymore. Or are they crap again? It’s been a few years since I followed them.

    2. Lachowsky

      To make matters worse, I have to root for the fucking buckeyes tonight. If this smug Sooner bastards manage to beat them, I won’t hear the end of it at work tomorrow.

      1. C. Anacreon

        I have to support dOSU on behalf of the Big Ten tonight, after my beloved Northwestern Wildcats were humiliated by effing Duke today. Not to mention the Cubs are seeing their first-place lead dissipate after losing 15-2 to the Brewers today. Sheesh.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          It sucks to have academic standards, huh?

    3. SimonD

      I suppose it would be in poor form for the TCU grad to gloat, wouldn’t it?

      I know the betting line went to Arkansas -1 to TCU -4 in a day and a half, so this isn’t surprising.

      If the Frogs can cut out the stupid mistakes, they could be a heck of a team.

      1. SimonD

        oops, the line went FROM Arkansas -1 to TCU -4.

        at least I’ll get bragging rights when I visit family at Christmastime. (in Mountain Home)

    4. Chipwooder

      We got blown out at home by fucking Indiana.

  5. Akira

    I’m about to roast a chicken, and under the skin will be a mixture of pulverized garlic, pepper, thyme, cayenne, parsley, and olive oil. The leftovers will go into matzo ball soup or maybe chicken pot pies over the next week.

    What are the other Glibs cooking tonight?

    1. I had hot dogs on the grill. Burgers tomorrow night.

    2. Sean

      Grilled pork chops and avocados with balsamic vinegar.

      Quick and easy.

    3. Gustave Lytton

      Broiled salmon and baked potatoe. Tomorrow night will be UCS’ fish stew.

      1. Sean

        + 1 Dan Quayle

        1. MikeS

          well played

    4. RBS

      I ate some leftover wings at my mom’s house then ate some leftover roast at my MIL’s house.

      1. dbleagle

        Since it is still early here I am just prepping. I’ll grill some ahi (tuna) I caught while sailing with a bit of pesto and lemon slice, salad from the garden, and some asparagus with Parmesan. Chase it down with some Kiwi sauvigon blanc. Meanwhile I will be swimming and quaffing a G&T.

        1. westernsloper

          ^winner
          I’ll grill some ahi (tuna) I caught while sailing

          Super jealous.

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            Sailing in Co? Bah,

          2. dbleagle

            Not sure about Colorado but Wyoming has some great sailing in Grand Teton and Yellowstone NPs. But it is very cold water.

            Labor Day was a race from Maui back to Oahu. We caught several nice fish along the north shore of Molokai.

    5. MikeS

      Omelets full of fresh tomatoes, zuchinni, onions, and peppers from the garden.

    6. Found a new series of frozen korean dinners at walmart – good stuff even if a little light on the beef – it’s a lot lighter on calories and came through the microwave beautifully.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Light on beef, heavy on dog?

        More seriously, what’s the brand to look for?

        1. Suji’s Korean Cuisine (even got a picture of the cute gal on the back). They had four different options, but I just picked up a couple for the first trial – about $3 each.

          1. Gustave Lytton

            Thanks! I’ll have to look for it.

    7. Lachowsky

      It’s already half eaten, but I crusted a pork loin in garlic, rosemary, salt, and chili powder. I smoked it at 200 for a couple of hours and then put it in the oven at 350 until the internal temp reached 150. I let it rest 15 minutes and then sliced it. It was damn good. No need for any sauce.

    8. westernsloper

      I am craving pasta. Not sure what it is going to be yet. Either leftover Asian chicken, or leftover pork or both working into it somehow.

      1. Lachowsky

        The greatest thing about pasta is that you can take your leftover meat, pick a sauce that works with it, and then add a noodle. Easy and delicious.

    9. Shpip

      Chicken piccata over thin spaghetti, paired with a Verdejo.

    10. Troy

      Steak breakfast burrito with habenero salsa.

    11. whiz

      Pork chops on the grill with peaches-and-cream sweet corn and a mixed green salad with grape tomatoes.

    12. Old Man With Candy

      SP is out of town tonight, so webdominatrix and I are having a cilantro-fest in her absence. We had some chips with roasted tomato and pepper salsa, then green beans with bumbu pecel , then a tomato-galangal soup with fried tofu. Not sure about how to get cilantro into dessert…

      1. Gray Ghost

        “Not sure about how to get cilantro into dessert…”

        Cilantro granita? Requires more prep time (or an ice cream maker) than you probably have though.

        1. Gray Ghost

          Anyway, pork butt chili with extra anchos, chipotles, and homemade smoked Hatch peppers. Salvadoran crema and sliced serranos on the side.

          Frank Boon Oude Gueze to start—can’t believe it’s in Texas! Now it’s Cantillon’s turn—and then probably something involving the bottle of Plantation 69% Overproof Rum I picked up today.

        2. Old Man With Candy

          Of course we have an ice cream maker. Fine idea, maybe we’ll pour alcohol over it.

          1. SP

            You MAY NOT use my ice cream maker for anything involving the Evil Soapweed.

          2. Old Man With Candy

            webdominatrix and I are quite enjoying this. We also rubbed it all over the dinnerware, then put it all back in the cabinet. Much snickering and high fives.

          3. Festus

            Cilantro is the devil’s toilet tissue. May God have mercy upon your twisted souls.

          4. Tundra

            Cilantro is heavenly.

            And good for the liver,

          5. Playa Manhattan

            I don’t know why people are celebrating their genetic defects.

          6. CPRM

            OT, SP I want to thank you for this fine place you helped build. Also cilantro is delicious and Hawaiian pizza is meh. 🙂

          7. Festus

            Agreed one the party of the first part (no, really!) but ham and pineapple pizza is the food of the God’s and cilantro is bitter, bitter vetch.

    13. creech

      London Broil, red lentils, pasta salad, sea salt caramel ice cream, washed down with Il Bastardo sangiovese.

    14. Tulip

      My neighbor smoked ribs and brought me some. I’m stuffed and happy.

    15. Roger Wilco

      Leftover homemade chicken soup I needed to take out of the freezer to make room for the end times. Also I’m drunk so there’s that

    16. Tundra

      Nothing. Block party tonight so pot luck and beer.

      I’ve got some nice NY strips for tomorrow though!

    17. SP

      Looking around at menus online tonight and I am NOT ordering the Beer Cheese Bacon Burger Poutine, I can tell you that. “Large order of fries, topped with cheese curds, bacon, hamburger, and beer cheese sauce. Finished with dill pickles.”

      Same menu also has Deep Fried Dill Chips, served with creole dipping sauce.

      Next menu!

      1. MikeS

        Sans pickles, that poutine sounds divine

      2. Old Man With Candy

        Deep fried dill chips are great. No idea what “creole sauce” is, but if it’s pus-free, might be worth it.

    18. SimonD

      tonight it’s leftover red sauce over pasta.

      Tomorrow I have a small pork butt to go in my cheap electric smoker (apartment living sucks sometimes)

    19. SIV

      I’m stuck eating Upper Ohio River Valley restaurant/bar food which is almost as bad as Far Upper MidWest food (Minnesota/Dakotas). Sometimes I’m actually ashamed of the culinary culture of parts of my country.

      I wish I was in Dixie, Away…Away…

      Or Christ, even Chicago or Detroit…

    20. Pizza.

      If buy “cook” you mean “order.”

  6. Rhywun

    The girl Viking was in charge! Girl power!

    1. Festus

      I get the feeling that the article writer took on the stance of “Defiant Girl” and waggled her fingers in front of her nose.

    2. CPRM

      We’re supposed to trust that tree ring data is all correct, when they can’t sex (not have sex with, but tell the sex of) a skeleton? (not to mention, these researchers apparently never heard of shield maidens)

  7. Juvenile Bluster

    I can’t watch Georgia-Notre Dame because NBC has turned into full hurricane coverage. We’re all gonna die, apparently.

    I get the sense the local weathermen are really disappointed the hurricane pointed west.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Same thing with ABC and Ohio State-Oklahoma.

      I just wanna watch football and distract myself, dammit.

      Current headline is “tornado touchdown caught on camera”. It’s a funnel cloud that isn’t touching the ground. A couple of tornadoes have touched down but they were likely EF0.

    2. RBS

      They always are. Of all our local weathermen we only have one who is actually serious and consistently avoids disaster porn type coverage.

    3. Rhywun

      Football pre-empted for… anything? Now I’ve seen it all.

      1. C. Anacreon

        Apparently you’ve never heard of the “Heidi Game”.

        1. dbleagle

          I was watching the game as a youth in AZ. Because of the time zone thing they never cut away like for the they did for the time zone right of Central.

        2. Rhywun

          *wikipedias…*

          In the late 1960s, few professional football games took longer than two and a half hours to play

          What is it now, four?

          1. MikeS

            Barring overtime, generally no more than 3.

          2. Rhywun

            Yeah I was being facetious. But I still think it’s way too many commercials and other long periods of standing around doing nothing.

          3. MikeS

            Oh, um yeah, I knew that!

            Yes, the TV timeouts are very annoying. Score a touchdown>TV Timeout>Kickoff>TV Timeout>Play football. Repeat.

    4. They don’t even put the games on a digital sub-channel?

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        I found Georgia-Notre Dame. Can’t find Oklahoma-OSU though.

    5. Playa Manhattan

      You can probably stream it.

      ESPN has a pretty good app.

  8. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Has anyone posted a link to this yet? Scott Adams says this is the best political speech he’s ever heard.

    Kid Rock for Senate speech:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OY3zFblpM5s

    1. Waterfall Insurance

      Is there a transcript somewhere? I’m sure the delivery is a large part of the message. I’m curious if this goes anywhere.

        1. Waterfall Insurance

          Thank you

        2. straffinrun

          Transcript!!!!?? That had to be seen, not read. My brain is scrambled egg after seeing that.

        3. Yusef drives a Kia

          He’s got my vote

    2. Lachowsky

      I, for one, look forward to the new celebrity politician era.

    3. RBS

      OUTSANDING. Just Sayn hardest hit.

    4. John Titor

      Holy shit, I mean, Idiocracy gets referenced a lot for the wrong reasons, but this is basically a more intelligent Camacho speech.

      1. Sean

        Agreed. However, I look forward to seeing more vehicle mounted dildos…

      2. Yusef drives a Kia

        Don’t Fuck With Mountain dew!!

    5. Spartan Dad

      Well… on one hand, I feel like I’m in Idiocracy.

      On the other hand, he made some damn good points and Team Stupid could use some backbone strengthening.

      On the third hand, maybe more people would pay attention to political speeches with attractive women flanking the speaker.

      1. thrakkorzog

        I look forward to when the the flagpoles at political speeches also double as stripper poles. It gives the whole thing an air of honesty.

        At least hookers tell you upfront how much it will cost to fuck you, politicians aren’t that polite.

    6. posted it in the morning thread you monster.

      1. But yeah, Adams went and broke down in detail how KR is basically following the master persuader template perfectly – ie. he will be elected.

    7. westernsloper

      If they introduce him as “Kid Mothafucken Rock” at an actual political event I might piss myself laughing.

    8. Festus

      It was amusing but lacked a certain “je ne sais quoi”… A dancing dwarf, mayhaps? Moar ring girls and drummers of undetermined gender would be most pleasing, Senator.

    9. CPRM

      1. Fuck this country that by default I have to defend Kid Rock for senate, cuz he is a shitty ass candidate, but his alternativer is worse.

      2. Stinky, is your Grape Ape avitar from the convo I had with Rhywun a bit ago where I said something akin to looking back on it with the Steve Smith trope all I could here was Rape Ape?

      1. commodious spittoon

        That’s the original tune? It sounds like someone scrubbed every g off Grape every time for a laugh.

        1. Festus

          Ha! I’ll be mopping a floor at 2:00 AM and “Rape Ape” flies into my consciousness from outta nowhere and I chuckle a little. Fuck you guys for bringing a tiny sliver of joy to my workaday world. Fuck you side-ways!

  9. John Titor

    So just to give a head’s up to the Founders, in my Posts part of my account there’s an article in draft called ‘Rockers​ ​and​ ​Old​ ​Lesbians’. Now, for a second I thought I had maybe gotten drunk and written a Penthouse letter for the site, but upon examining it it appears Yusuf Drives a KIA wrote it, yet for some reason it’s listing me as the author.

    Didn’t think it was worth going through the Contact email to tell you guys, but just thought you should know.

    1. MikeS

      Plagarist!!!!111!!1!!

    2. Mick Jagger is not an old lesbian, thank you very much!

      1. MikeS

        Ahhh…he kinda looks like one. Same goes for Steven Tyler

        1. DenverJ

          They sure don’t look like young lesbians.

          1. RegicidalManiac

            I know for a fact that my fiancèe would eat out Liv Tyler (and she’s female), so… there’s related lesbianism, I guess.

    3. Old Man With Candy

      Fucking orphans. I need to beat them, back later.

    4. Yusef drives a Kia

      HA!

      1. John Titor

        Frankly, your interest in old lesbians confuses me and I fold it odd as a cultural component of my sexual life: while historically I’ve converted such to a love of dick, I wonder what civilized man would admit to his sexual conquests, in light of an overwhelming deflect in regards to basic social interaction.

  10. Lachowsky

    auburn 6
    Clemson 0

    Go Tigers!!!

  11. dbleagle

    Because of Marcus we are getting every damn Titans game out here in Polynesia. I don’t have anything against them, but I couldn’t care less about them either. But if I want to see the NFC North teams I have to go to a bar at 7am and give them my business. Not that I am complaining about that.

    1. Go to Big City Diner and get some good Sunday brunch – kimchi fried rice with kalbi steak and eggs. I wonder if the manager at the Aiea location still remembers me. Great times!

      1. dbleagle

        I’ll be down the street from their Kailua location at Longboards. Better food , larger TV’s and more scenic waitresses. But BCD does have a killer chocolate malt.

    2. Lachowsky

      I works a 11 pm to 7am shift from the time I was 18 until I was 24. About once every few weeks, a bunch of guys from work and I would show up at the local bar after work and proceed to tie one on. There was a group of regulars who would always show up at about 9am to drink coffee, a little beer, play shuffleboard, ano watch the morning news. They would always get pissed at us damn kids for fucking up their morning routines.

  12. Ed Wuncler

    https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/sep/09/brexit-pro-eu-demonstration-london

    “It’s not undemocratic to try to persuade the electorate to think again about Brexit. That’s democracy at work. So I say to my colleagues over the road: ‘You know in your hearts what’s right. Many of you campaigned for remain, now have the strength of your convictions. Do not be bowed down by the whips. Follow your consciences.’

    What a bunch of assholes. The Left always extol democracy as the greatest thing ever until it results in a decision that they don’t like.

    1. Rhywun

      a sea of demonstrators clad in the blue and yellow of the EU flag

      That’s not at all distubing. Other than ceding their country’s sovereignty to a bunch of unelected old farts in Brussels, what exactly do these people hope to accomplish with this?

      1. Rhywun

        But it is distuRbing

    2. one true athena

      I just want to tell these people – MOVE TO BRUSSELS. If the EU is so fucking great, move. But no, they don’t want that.

      As Brendan O’Neill put it, REMAIN is the most establishment, non-counter-culture, not working-class friendly vote ever. There is nothing “revolutionary” about it, at all. and yet all these students think somehow that it’s Civil Rights or some shit, because they’re LARPing against fascism, even while they want to be ruled by unelected bureacrats in Belgium and Germany. It doesn’t make any sense.

    3. John Titor

      The Left always extol democracy as the greatest thing ever until it results in a decision that they don’t like.

      Not only that, but Brexit was a vote along class lines. The upper middle and upper class largely voted Remain, while the working class largely voted Leave.

      So not only is the left rejecting a democratic decision, they’re rejecting one that was made overwhelmingly by the lower classes, while constantly elevating the establishment. But remember, they love the poor.

      1. Festus

        They love the “poor” for their votes. So long as the “poor” behave like the beaten curs that they are and desist from sniffing at the kitchen door.

      2. J. Frank Parnell

        Obviously the lower classes were tricked into voting against their own interests.

    4. Grumbletarian

      The Left always extol democracy as the greatest thing ever until it results in a decision that they don’t like.

      Ayup. How many times did California voters shoot down gay marriage before the left just decided to have a judge give them the result they wanted?

  13. MikeS

    From the Viking skeleton story:

    “This image of the male warrior in a patriarchal society was reinforced by research traditions and contemporary preconceptions. Hence, the biological sex of the individual was taken for granted,” Hedenstierna-Jonson and other researchers wrote in the report.

    Give. It. A. Fucking. Rest.

    1. RBS

      That whole article got a big eye roll from me.

      1. Rhywun

        Maybe they should name that building on UC Berkeley for her instead of the cop killer chick.

        1. Festus

          “The Valkyrie Research Center For Why We Hate Wypipo”

  14. straffinrun

    Hey CNN, how about you use that cool cone of probability CG and apply it the national debt and unfounded liabilities?

    1. Lachowsky

      Do you really want CNN to be the entity that makes projections about the soundness of the U.S. federal budget. They would make it look like everything was going well and there was nothing to worry about.

      1. straffinrun

        If they even started talking about it, that’d be a start.

        1. Lachowsky

          You have a point there. The only time I ever hear anything on tv about the national debt is when I catch a commercial for a company that is selling gold.

      2. Rhywun

        CNN’s financial reporter.

    2. straffinrun

      *guess which word got autocorrected

      1. Lachowsky

        IDK
        Those liabilities should have been unfounded. I understood what you meant anyway.

  15. westernsloper

    “IRMA” NOT SOUND THREATENING ENOUGH.

    All hurricanes should be named “TRUMPS STORM THAT IS GOING TO KILL YOU”, and then numbered accordingly.

    1. straffinrun

      666?
      69?

    2. Grumbletarian

      HURRICANE DEPLORANAZI!

  16. Rhywun

    SOMETIMES STEVE SMITH NOT QUITE KNOW WHAT TO SAY

    I am way too unqualified to untangle the iconography in the described cartoon, but I do know that Soros is an evil leftist regardless of his heritage.

    1. straffinrun

      The can explain the cartoon in detail but won’t actually show it?

      1. Rhywun

        Yeah I thought the same thing. Apparently it’s too disturbing for sensitive readers.

        1. Q Continuum

          It’s not that bad. Everyone is so damn fragile nowadays.

          1. straffinrun

            It’s anti robust

            /anti Taleb

        2. Old Man With Candy

          If it’s too disturbing for the sensitive, it’s right for us.

          Here.

          Meh.

          1. straffinrun

            Seems more like anti anglerism.

    2. one true athena

      If we lived in the James Bond universe, Bond would’ve been dispatched to kill his ass by now, I suspect. Soros is a real-life Bond villain. Europe and the US would be better off without him.

      1. Q Continuum

        One acronym. RICO.

  17. Q Continuum

    Anal’s husband no likey Steve Bannon.

    http://ew.com/movies/2017/09/09/george-clooney-steve-bannon/

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      Steve Bannon has called himself a “street fighter,” but George Clooney has another way to describe the controversial former advisor to President Donald Trump: a “failed f—ing screenwriter.”

      1. Not an Economist

        Well the last administration had a failed novelist deal with foreign policy so how is a failed screenwriter different than that?

  18. westernsloper

    Here is your tab, we take any form of payment.

    Idaho State Forester David Groeschl says humans have caused more than two-thirds of wildfires on lands protected by the Idaho Department of Lands so far this year.

    Fake news. Climate change causes wildfires.

    1. Lachowsky

      Climate change is human caused, QED

      1. Q Continuum

        Climate change is Trump voter caused.

        FIFY.

      2. AlmightyJB

        It sucks cause 18,000 years ago my home Columbus was covered with a mile thick glacier. Thanks to the indigenous peoples and their suvs it’s now fertile farmland. Selfish bastards.

    2. J. Frank Parnell

      I can’t find it now, but I saw a link on derpbook saying that one of the larger wildfires was started by some teenage boys playing with fireworks, therefore the root cause is, of course, Toxic Masculinity.

      1. Festus

        The Natives here in Canada are wont to start forest fires as a make-work project for the shiftless and to increase berry production in the future. Those are lumped in with “Drunken Camper Throws Gas Can On Campfire”, sparks from locomotives, careless smokers, fallen power-lines, equipment exhaust etc. as “Human-Caused Fires”. Our biggest fire this year, over a million hectares (2.5 million acres) was started just this way but the news won’t report about the cause for some reason. Strokes beard, inserts muzzle firmly into ear.

    1. straffinrun

      It sucks to be a prostitute these days.

      1. westernsloper

        Sometimes the tip is huge, but the work load is overwhelming. I imagine it gets hard to swallow under those conditions.

        1. MikeS

          All that heavy lifting will leave you flat on your back

          1. J. Frank Parnell

            It can certainly be a pain in the ass sometimes.

          2. Akira

            That’s true, and I bet those ladies are getting screwed hard on wages and benefits.

          3. westernsloper

            I have found it is best to advertise ones flexibility especially when circumstances require it.

  19. Festus

    STEVE SMITH TURN POSY INTO ROSY! AND BY ROSY HE MEAN RAPE SPHINCTERS, ALL SPHINCTERS!

    1. Q Continuum

      8===D (_I_)

    1. straffinrun

      That managed to incorporate awful music, mindless lyrics, and that fucking cat into a genuine wish for a cataclysmic global catastrophe.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        Asscat akbar!

        1. straffinrun

          Clearly needs a link.

    2. Festus

      I love you, my dusky-hued brother! We should spend the Holidays together. Oh the times we would have…

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        Let me check my calendar.

    3. Roger Wilco

      HM Links: reenforcing a horrible pavlovian boner one link at a time

  20. Pope Jimbo

    How many times do we have to tell you rubes that voter fraud doesn’t exist?

    More than 6,500 people registered to vote in New Hampshire on Nov. 8 using out-of-state driver’s licenses, and since then the vast majority have neither obtained an in-state license nor registered a motor vehicle.

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      Ok. How do we fix it without instituting a national ID de jure or de facto?

      1. westernsloper

        “If you’re here today, you can vote and be gone,” one poll official unwittingly told Veritas.

        Stop shit like that for starters?

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          That doesn’t answer the question.

          1. westernsloper

            You know what I meant. Don’t make me articulate a thought here now. No same day voting. That is an idea waiting to be abused. There is no reason for it. In the rare case a person actually moves on election day, well, they should have planned ahead. I am sure you can register before you actually get there. I know I have been registered to vote in several states at once. I never voted in more than one, but I am not a Democrat.

          2. Festus

            Then you’re not cheatin’ right, Son!

      2. Pope Jimbo

        No same day voter registration?

        If you want to vote, take time to register prior to the election.

        Or if you want to keep same day registration, make the votes provisional. The vote will count if two election judges drop by the address you gave on election day and you are there. If you can’t be found, or no one has heard of you, then the vote is thrown away.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          I’m absolutely fine with getting rid of same day voter registration.

          As for your second suggestion, NH already does something similar.

          1. Pope Jimbo

            And I feel you about national ID cards. Minnesoda caved this year on finally adopting the Real ID act.

            My state senator Warren Limmer fought the good fight for a long time, but he was bumrushed in the last session.

            The big reason Minnesoda flipped? Because the TSA put up a big sign in the airport saying that our driver licenses wouldn’t be accepted at the security checkpoints starting in Jan 2018.

          2. westernsloper

            How much of the country has not caved? We all but have national ID cards now. Thanks Bin Laden.

          3. MikeS

            IIRC Minny was one of the last, if not the last, to adopt it.

          4. Tundra

            We’re weird. Blue as fuck, but tons of guns, booze and a hatred of Fed IDs.

          5. Grumbletarian

            That worked for NH too. Fuckers. I had to get a copy of my birth certificate so I can renew my license before November.

        2. Festus

          Here in Canada I register to vote every year on my tax forms. If I agree to register they send me a notification telling me where, when and what I.D. to bring. They wave you through to a table where some nice old biddy checks you off a list after ascertaining that you are really you and sends you to the polls where you mark an X on a paper ballot, bring it to another table and stuff half of it into a box while another biddy crosses your name off her list. Done. How fucking hard is that, Democrats?

          1. Grumbletarian

            That’s racist! Don’t you know minorities are incapable of getting an ID card?

          2. Festus

            “I used to think that but now I know it was was the most racist thing of all! Oh Toto, I’m so glad to be home!”

    2. Lachowsky

      I’m for-

      If you are not a net taxpayer, then you should not be able to vote.

      That’s not exactly libertarian, but damn it would do a lot good.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        That’s not exactly libertarian

        How so?

        1. straffinrun

          If you’re of the “voting for redistribution is immoral school” it could be seen as not libertarian.

        2. Lachowsky

          Because all free people should have a say in the going ons of their government.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            But if you are indebted, are you truly free?

          2. Lachowsky

            I made a point that even those not indebted should have a say in their government.

            I don’t follow your comment.
            please explain.

          3. Heroic Mulatto

            Because when you owe someone something, you are obligated to them. If you owe the government, then you are obligated to them. How can one freely vote in such a case? Even in court, a juror who is in debt to anyone in the case is usually recused from jury duty due to the influence one might be placed under. From feudal times, it was understood that one of the necessary conditions of the state of freedom is the state of being under no financial obligation to a higher authority. That is a yeoman owned his own land and did not have to pay rent through money or service to a feudal lord. This is in contrast to a serf, who was indebted to his or her lord as a consequence of living on the lord’s land and gaining sustenance from his crops. A serf basically traded his liberty for his livelihood. Until one is self-sustaining, one is not free.

          4. Old Man With Candy

            …once a state extends the franchise to every warm body, be he producer or parasite, that day marks the beginning of the end of the state. For when the plebs discover that they can vote themselves bread and circuses without limit and that the productive members of the body politic cannot stop them, they will do so, until the state bleeds to death, or in its weakened condition the state succumbs to an invader—the barbarians enter Rome.

          5. Lachowsky

            So, what you are saying is that an indebted person should have no say in the matter of theor creditors? I guess that makes sense in a free market. When those who are indebted are the victims of a non voluntary governmental body, then they should have a say in the dictates that that governmental body dictates.

            Your example consists of yoemen amd serfs. Yemen and serfs are both government dictated classes of people. Their rights were necessarily government dictated, and therfore of no interest to me

          6. Lachowsky

            I get your point OMWC. I understand bread and circus. However, how can you have a voluntary society without universal enfranchisement.

            I still think disenfranchising non taxpayers is a good idea. I think it would lead to a more voluntary society. It’s just not very libertarian amd I’m not one to say the ends justify the means, no matter how noble the means.

          7. Old Man With Candy

            Want the franchise? Contribute. If you’re on the dole, your voting is a clear conflict of interest. Want to vote? Get a job or start a business.

          8. Lachowsky

            OMWC, its not Libertarian to disenfranchise persons from their government. (((you))) should understand that.

          9. Old Man With Candy

            Disenfranchisement comes as a voluntary choice. One doesn’t HAVE to take the handouts.

        3. Festus

          I think he means that it not very “virtuous” to act like a big ole meany once in awhile.

      2. Pope Jimbo

        What about you get 1 vote for every $1 of taxes you paid?

        Oh, wait. If we did that George Soros’ secretary would get more votes than him.

        1. Lachowsky

          I doubt george soros can pay enoigh taxes to overcome the massive amount of taxes payed by Me, and my middle class brethren.

        2. J. Frank Parnell

          How about: all taxes are voluntary, and you get 1 vote for every 10% of your income (from all sources) you pay in taxes.

      3. Raven Nation

        So no one who works for the feds can vote?

        1. Festus

          Your ideas intrigue me and yes, yes I would like to subscribe to your newsletter!

        2. Lachowsky

          That sounds great

        3. Including the military.

        4. Rhywun

          If by “feds” you mean “any level of national, state, or local government”.

          1. Raven Nation

            Hmm, so I wouldn’t be voting.

          2. Raven Nation

            Is this because I’m not a Liverpool fan?

          3. Rhywun

            My God, a government worker and not a LIverpool fan? Are you even human?

          4. Raven Nation

            “Are you even human?”

            Sometimes: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reptilians#David_Icke

        5. straffinrun

          You could start by not allowing The Fed to buy government debt. It wasn’t allowed to do that when it was created because people wisely knew it would go hog wild if it had that power. The debt ceiling being blown past every times means people can still vote for pork and that vote is rational. We need to make that vote irrational.

          1. Lachowsky

            That’s a good start.

            Although largely forgotten by historians and by the public, repudiation of public debt is a solid part of the American tradition. The first wave of repudiation of state debt came during the 1840s, after the panics of 1837 and 1839. Those panics were the consequence of a massive inflationary boom fueled by the Whig-run Second Bank of the United States. Riding the wave of inflationary credit, numerous state governments, largely those run by the Whigs, floated an enormous amount of debt, most of which went into wasteful public works (euphemistically called “internal improvements”), and into the creation of inflationary banks. Outstanding public debt by state governments rose from $26 million to $170 million during the decade of the 1830s. Most of these securities were financed by British and Dutch investors.

            During the deflationary 1840s succeeding the panics, state governments faced repayment of their debt in dollars that were now more valuable than the ones they had borrowed. Many states, now largely in Democratic hands, met the crisis by repudiating these debts, either totally or partially by scaling down the amount in “readjustments.” Specifically, of the 28 American states in the 1840s, 9 were in the glorious position of having no public debt, and 1 (Missouri’s) was negligible; of the 18 remaining, 9 paid the interest on their public debt without interruption, while another 9 (Maryland, Pennsylvania, Indiana, Illinois, Michigan, Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, and Florida) repudiated part or all of their liabilities. Of these states, four defaulted for several years in their interest payments, whereas the other five (Michigan, Mississippi, Arkansas, Louisiana, and Florida) totally and permanently repudiated their entire outstanding public debt. As in every debt repudiation, the result was to lift a great burden from the backs of the taxpayers in the defaulting and repudiating states.

            Apart from the moral, or sanctity-of-contract argument against repudiation that we have already discussed, the standard economic argument is that such repudiation is disastrous, because who, in his right mind, would lend again to a repudiating government? But the effective counterargument has rarely been considered: why should more private capital be poured down government rat holes? It is precisely the drying up of future public credit that constitutes one of the main arguments for repudiation, for it means beneficially drying up a major channel for the wasteful destruction of the savings of the public. What we want is abundant savings and investment in private enterprises, and a lean, austere, low-budget, minimal government. The people and the economy can only wax fat and prosperous when their government is starved and puny.

            The next great wave of state debt repudiation came in the South after the blight of Northern occupation and Reconstruction had been lifted from them. Eight Southern states (Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Louisiana, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Virginia) proceeded, during the late 1870s and early 1880s under Democratic regimes, to repudiate the debt foisted upon their taxpayers by the corrupt and wasteful carpetbag Radical Republican governments under Reconstruction.

            So what can be done now? The current federal debt is $3.5 trillion. Approximately $1.4 trillion, or 40 percent, is owned by one or another agency of the federal government. It is ridiculous for a citizen to be taxed by one arm of the federal government (the IRS) to pay interest and principal on debt owned by another agency of the federal government.

          2. straffinrun

            Thanks.

  21. straffinrun

    YouTube shuts down North Korea propaganda account

    “In July, it hosted a video featuring Lim Ji-Hyun, a female defector in her 20s who arrived in Seoul in 2014 and soon became a public figure, before apparently returning to the North from the “hell” of the capitalist South.”

    1. Festus

      “Pyong-Yang Rose” doesn’t have the poetic meter for a good propagandist. Sad!

      1. straffinrun

        At the rate YouTube is going, it’s going to have to shut down YouTube for violating YouTube’s TOS.

    2. Gray Ghost

      Speaking of NK, I’m surprised I haven’t heard of another 6+ earthquake from their testing grounds yet. Or another rocket flying over Japan. Guess their Independence Day wasn’t as festive as it could have been.

      1. straffinrun

        Seriously. They could’ve at least bombed a small island and killed a dozen or so South Koreans. They’re slacking.

        1. Festus

          They’re like the little kids tugging at Dad’s pant leg during a playoff game. They’ve learned to bide their time and wait for a more opportune moment. Hurricane season will soon be over and then it’s back to cake and ice cream tantrums.

      2. Password gl1b

        I don’t really get the point of NK having an H bomb, TBH. Is it just an attempt at pseudo-MAD? Wacky as Un is, is he really crazy enough to think of nukes as an offensive weapon against the US/allies? If nobody believes he’s going to use it first, I just don’t see it as that much stronger of a bargaining chip than a fission bomb. And I don’t think he’d use it first. That would be certain death and… ‘rebuilding’ of DPRNK.

        1. straffinrun

          Who’s crazy enough to use nukes first, the Norks or the US? US foreign military action for the past half century doesn’t inspire much confidence in its ability to restrain itself.

          1. Password gl1b

            Are you saying the Norks legitimately believe that the US might just up and nuke them?

          2. straffinrun

            I’m not saying the US would. I have no idea what is going on in the dungeons of D.C. I’m saying, yes, the Norks are going to assume the worst when dealing with the US. That the Cold War ended the way it did is a positive, but Iraq, Libya etc are also in the equation.

        2. Heroic Mulatto

          Is it just an attempt at pseudo-MAD?

          I think so. Basically, he wants a situation where he can ask us if we believe losing Honolulu or LA is worth the price of taking him down.

          1. Troy

            I’d send him a donation to bomb LA.

          2. one true athena

            hey, there are at least four libertarians here! i need some warning first.

          3. Festus

            “Followed by millions of dumbfounded dip-shits…”

        3. commodious spittoon

          Sir Humphrey: “It’s a deterrent.”

          Hacker: “It’s a bluff. I probably wouldn’t use it.”

          Sir Humphrey: “Yes, but they don’t know that you probably wouldn’t.”

          Jim Hacker: “They probably do.”

          Sir Humphrey: “Yes, they probably know that you probably wouldn’t. But they can’t certainly know.”

          Jim Hacker: “They probably certainly know that I probably wouldn’t.”

          Sir Humphrey: “Yes, but even though they probably certainly know that you probably wouldn’t, they don’t certainly know that, although you probably wouldn’t, there is no probability that you certainly would.”

  22. Ken Shultz

    All this talk about hurricanes has got me thinking about all the climate change deniers heading up Interstate 95. God bless and keep them, each and every one, but once the Trump Climate chases you out of your home, can you really be a climate change denier anymore? Obviously, the answer is socialism.

    Also, where I am, the danger isn’t hurricanes but wildfires and earthquakes. It’s hard to correlate earthquakes and climate or weather, but I’m sure some have tried. Anyway, all this evac talk made me double-check my bug-out bag. I’ve got a bottle opener, a roll of quarters, a Chipotle gift card, and a spare smart phone, so I should be all set.

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      It’s hard to correlate earthquakes and climate or weather, but I’m sure some have tried.

      You are correct, sir.

      1. Ken Shultz

        People in SoCal have been making jokes about “earthquake weather” since I was a little kid. That was way back when. . . ahem . . . long before anybody cared about global warming. I suppose if they find some correlation, . . .

        My dog used to start barking like mad before the rolling/train sort of earthquakes would hit, but that was presumably because she could hear them coming from further away than I could. Anyway, how do they tell a pre-earthquake temperature spike from a non-pre-earthquake temperature spike?

        And wouldn’t that spike happen even without AGW?

        Oh, and I would be remiss if I didn’t mention to people preparing their own bug-out bags, that no bug-out bag is complete without a box of condoms.

        Which brings up a standing question about dating etiquette. Isn’t it presumptuous to whip out the ribbed ones on the first go? Nothing shouts . . . um . . . insensitivity like using ribbed condoms the first time. It’s basically saying, “Hey, hope you like a rough ride–’cause that’s what you’re getting. Ready or not, here I . . . “. Breaking out the ones that taste like strawberries seems kinda presumptuous, too. It’s not like they’re going to know they taste like strawberries unless you tell them–and how do you work that information into a regular conversation?

        Generally, you don’t have those kinds of conversations until much, much later in a . . . relationship. If you end up in a shelter somewhere, though, I suppose that probably speeds up the whole process. People are feeling scared and lonely. Anyway, point is, for a bug-out bag, you probably just want to go with plain old vanilla–and I’m not talking about the flavor.

    2. Festus

      Don’t forget the Axe. Body spray, that is. Huddled into a shelter you might just meet that special someone.

      1. Rhywun

        There is a special place in hell reserved for the inventor of that foul odor.

  23. Playa Manhattan

    How is THE Ohio State University’s first home game going?

    1. ChipsnSalsa

      Can we get a call into Sloop, make sure he is OK?

      1. Playa Manhattan

        He went to bed before the game ended.

    1. That’s pretty damn funny. Shouldn’t that be set to music?

  24. Raven Nation

    Excellent: the NZ Labour Party has declared that, if it wins the election, it will ban foreign purchases of NZ property.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      Hopefully it will seize the NZ property Rep Peter DeFazio D-Fuckface.

  25. MikeS

    OT: I’m TV shopping. I’ve really gotten behind on new technology in electronics. What’s your take on smart TV’s? And do I really need a 4K, or is 1080 good enough?

    1. Festus

      Bide your time. Apple/Google will be offering free retinal implants soon.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        I’ve been looking for a place to put my beer.

      2. MikeS

        Ahhh…the good old days.

        1. Festus

          “It’s not just a television, it’s a social statement!” Hell, I’m old enough to remember table lighters and ashtrays on virtually every flat surface in most suburban homes.

          1. Festus

            Still own one.

          2. Tundra

            *mixes Old Fashioned for Festus*

          3. CPRM

            brandy old fashioned? /Wisconsinite

          4. Tundra

            Of course!

          5. J. Frank Parnell

            Oh wow, a nice old fashioned.

          6. CPRM

            Have you heard that Lewis Black clip?

          7. Tundra

            Hilarious!

          8. CPRM

            My cousin had her wedding in Minneapolis. All of us Wisconsin folks out drank everyone there, ran the taps dry and had to find more beer at a local VFW.

          9. Tundra

            Where in WI are you, warrior?

          10. CPRM

            smack dab between Green Bay and Wausau. On the best damn patch o land this earth has to offer.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      I got a curved Samsung. 65″

      It’s waaaaay better than my last TV, although slightly smaller.

      1080p is good enough. 3D is a bullshit novelty.

      As far as the “smart” TVs, I don’t use the features. The Apple TV is better, so that’s what I use.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        3D TV is dead.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          GOOD

    3. Password gl1b

      Just recently went through that. I’m a fan of 4k — if/when it’s adopted for broadcast. There is a real visual difference between that and 1080, IMHO. But there really isn’t anything available to watch in 4k yet. Finding a 1080 (new) has also become difficult.

      Smart TV is unnecessary. Roku/AppleTV/ChromeCast all do the same thing. But smart TV’s are pretty much ubiquitous now.

      One thing to keep an eye on is refresh rate. And that’s kind of a mess. If you do a lot of gaming, you might consider something with a higher real refresh rate.

      Anyway, if it’s within budget, I recommend just future-proofing with an LED 4k. They aren’t that much more expensive than other options and will be worth it when the broadcast resolution catches up.

      1. CPRM

        broadcast resolution won’t catch up, there is no need, and smaller stations just finished converting to HD in the last few years. 4K is a projection (theatrical) resolution, and the broadcast companies will never adapt it (unless government intervenes on behalf of 4K advocates). Bit rate, not resolution, makes the biggest difference in quality when you get to HD. And broadcast bitrate is already above Blu-ray standards. Their is no benefit to broadcasters to go above where they are. (Digital conversion already weakened their signal strength and cos them a buttload for new tech)

      2. MikeS

        Great article you linked. It sent me down a TV technology rabbit hole. Learned a lot.

        1. CPRM

          It’s my field. Bitrate and framerate are the two things people actually notice, not resolution (although framesize also, 4×3 is no longer viewed as a valid framesize, you know square TV) (depending on screen size and distance). I’ve done, admittedly small scale, tests, and no one I’ve ever met has been able to differentiate between upscaled 480, 720, or 1080 given the right bitrate and framerate.

          1. kbolino

            no one I’ve ever met has been able to differentiate between upscaled 480, 720, or 1080 given the right bitrate and framerate

            What size screen/viewing distance? I couldn’t tell the difference between the three on a 32″ from 6 feet away but I could on a 50″ at the same distance. At 10 feet away, I can tell the difference between 480 and 720 but not so much 720 and 1080. Gaming is a different matter, though. The differences between the three are much more noticeable with so many fine edges.

    4. CPRM

      The resolution of a TV is proportional to the size of the screen and the distance you are viewing it from. The closer you are, and smaller the screen, the lower the resolution you can be. Link I didn’t actually read (but I might have before) A TV only needs to be as smart as your other tech is ‘dumb’. For example, my PC has an HDMI connection to my TV, so WTF do I need to spend extra money on a built in Netflix/Hulu/anything else. Plus, if you can run your PC to the TV, it usually works better for slower internet, as smart devices usually default to HD quality, while the PC versions usually adapt to your connection speed much better.

    5. DOOMco

      1080 is fine, smart is in almost everything, so whatever. I use it for netflix.

    6. MikeS

      Thanks for the info everyone!

    7. J. Frank Parnell

      The one big advantage of native apps on the smart TV that I’ve found is that the remote has a big button at the top labeled “Netflix”, which makes it very easy for wife/children/in-laws to operate without the need to bother me.

    8. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’ve got a 1080p plasma from right before Panasonic stopped making them. Great TV.

      Plan on getting a sound bar because most modern TVs have crappy speakers.

  26. butt-head
    1. MikeS

      A man of few words

      1. butt-head

        Shut up, Beavith

    2. butt-head

      Yeah!

      1. Festus

        heh-heh-heh-heh, snicker, Boobs!

        1. butt-head

          Uh

    3. J. Frank Parnell

      1. Festus

        Still waters run deep.

    1. MikeS

      Keep trying

    2. butt-head

      Ugh. I’ve finally succumbed to the problem everyone else here regularly seems to.

      don’t forget that final “

      1. Akira

        Oh OK, I get it now.. If someone questions any part of CAGW – which is based on numerous failed predictions and shoddy guesswork about what the pre-thermometer climate was like – that person DOESN’T BELIEVE IN SCIENCE AT ALL.

      2. J. Frank Parnell

        So I guess the fires in California are caused by anti-vaxxers, and the fires in Oregon are caused by the anti-flouridation folks?

  27. DOOMco

    USC had a nice finish.

    1. Ken Shultz

      But they’re still USC,

      Blech!

      1. DOOMco

        looked good tonight. They improved the areas from WMU.

        1. John Titor

          if you improved your shitbag imagine you wouldn’t have to deal with the modern ‘fuck you’.

  28. DOOMco

    wow boise.

    1. DOOMco

      and Washington State is marching.

      1. DOOMco

        will they go on 4th?

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Not good enough. Cougs pull it off.