Wednesday Afternoon Links

Hey kiddos, I’m here to provide you with your daily dose of afternoon links! Won’t this be fun?

  • Speaking of kiddos, the Paddock family is really working hard at notoriety. The Vegas shooter’s brother is in the OMWC way currently having been arrested during an investigation of consumers of adult content featuring child actors.
  • The .in.mb family seat in rural NY now has a spectacularly named gun club for homos and trans-folk “Trigger Warning Queer and Trans Gun Club.” I’d rather see the membership and clout of the Pink Pistols grow, but I’ll take what I can get.
  • Fun fact: Playa Manhattan is masturbating furiously right. this. minute.
  • Philipines continues to snuggle up to people we don’t really like.

And since I was drunk at Oktoberfest this weekend, here’s a scruffy blond fellow in (faux) leather lederhosen playing the sax.

Thanks, Alpine Village Oktoberfest!

Comments

635 responses to “Wednesday Afternoon Links”

  1. Private Chipperbot

    Playa Manhattan is masturbating furiously

    I knew it would be the burrito placed that should not be named!

    1. Playa Manhattan

      My queso is better than theirs.

      1. Negroni Please

        Does your queso bring all the boys to the yard?

        1. DOOMco

          DAMMIT NEGRONI!!

      2. DOOMco

        Damm right it’s better than theirs.
        Could you teach them?

        1. Gustave Lytton

          But I have to barf.

      3. Mad Scientist

        Tallest midget

      4. RAHeinlein

        If you had to use their ingredients, yours would suck too!

        No preservatives, so lots of vinegar (to avoid a repeat of those unpleasant foodborne illness outbreaks); no icky gums, so we use crappy-quality starches; no colors so overuse of tomato powder (indigenous people use annatto)!

        https://www.chipotle.com/queso

        1. Playa Manhattan

          “Chipotle: Our process cheese…. isn’t”

          I’m proud of my big jar of sodium citrate and brick of achiote. They’re front row top shelf.

          1. Count Potato

            Brick?

          2. But Enough About Me

            Where’d you score the sodium citrate? eBay? Amazon?

          3. Playa Manhattan

            Amazon. Verify in the reviews that it’s food grade.

          4. Count Potato

            Is that a Mexican thing? I’ve only seen the seeds.

          5. Playa Manhattan

            Yeah. Yucatan/Caribbean. The paste is a little confusing, sort of like chili powder vs powdered chile.

            A lot of times, it has vinegar, cumin, and salt mashed in.

          6. Count Potato

            The non-Mexican Caribbean island way is put the seeds in oil, gently heat until the oil is red, then strain out the seeds, and just use the oil.

    2. Sean

      Fun fact: Playa Manhattan is masturbating furiously

      Is there really any other way to masturbate? Who gets off on lackadaisical masturbation?

      1. AlmightyJB

        You kids, always in a hurry.

      2. Bobarian LMD

        And the “right. this. minute.” is probably true at most any part of the day.

      3. The Other Kevin

        Warty Hugeman, IIRC.

      4. Caput Lupinum

        Hedonismbot?

      5. Chipwooder

        I myself practice leisurely masturbation.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          But that’s just for practice, right?

          1. AlmightyJB

            Don’t want to hurt yourself before a big competition.

      6. Rasilio

        It has been known to happen from time to time

  2. Vhyrus

    Oh my god he lives.

    So it turns out that the police were specifically warned that Adam Lanza had threatened to do exactly what he did, years before he did it. Great work, guys.

    https://www.cbsnews.com/news/sandy-hook-shooting-investigation-fbi-documents/?ftag=CNM-00-10aab7e&linkId=43899519

    Also first.

    1. Vhyrus

      GODDAMIT CHIP!

    2. bacon-magic

      foiled again

    3. ChipsnSalsa

      wouldn’t have been first anyways, not a response to a linked article.

    4. Playa Manhattan

      This further reinforces my opinion that his mom has blood on her hands. A lot.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        After he shot her, I’d bet the blood was probably all over her.

      2. Rope Snake

        What should she have done?

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Lock up her motherfucking guns.

          1. Rope Snake

            >_<

        2. Rope Snake

          I know: locked up her guns

      3. Rope Snake

        Told the police?

        1. ChipsnSalsa

          Never get the cops involved unless you are willing for that person to die.

          Real possibility if you called in on your son saying is has mass murder on the brain.

      4. RBS

        I read some of the released stuff yesterday. She was basically like “He would not let me in his room. Oh well, nothing I could do.”

        1. Chipwooder

          I know. I read that and tried to imagine what my parents would have done had I tried to pull some shit like that. My stuff would have been out on the curb in boxes and the locks would have been changed by the next day.

          1. Playa Manhattan

            “Oh, honey! Whatever you say!”

            *leaves Bushmaster on the breakfast table*

    5. Private Chipperbot

      Someone at the old site used to say -blank- was as bad as Adam Lanza. Ah, memories.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Is this like one of those “You know who else …” things?

        Mr. And Mrs Menendez?

        1. Private Chipperbot

          It was one of the writers. The real nutjob about how evil America is (sorry if that doesn’t narrow it down).

          1. Michael

            The fact that I’m still uncertain who you’re referring to should speak volumes about how far they’ve declined.

          2. Bobarian LMD

            I know exactly who you’re referring to, and he was never in the least a libertarian (but he is executive editor of The Libertarian Institute).

            Initials were SR.

          3. Mythical Libertarian Woman

            The fact that you using the pronoun “he” was confusing to me emphasizes that it could plausibly be a number of them.

            (I assumed Shikha)

          4. bacon-magic

            His first name is a character on Big Bang Theory.

          5. commodious spittoon

            Sir Not Appearing In This Film?

          6. PBRstreetgang

            Initials SR… Big Bang Theory. Swolowitz?

          7. Playa Manhattan

            Guys, this isn’t helping with our search engine optimization.

            If somebody googles “Sheldon Richman fucks goats”, they’re like-minded and would fit right in here.

    6. Rasilio

      So he threatened to do it years before he actually did anything illegal? What precisely are the police supposed to do with this information?

      For every person who commits a violent act like this there are a thousand who threaten it at some point in their lives without every actually intending to act on it. How many years should we place someone under surveillance on the off chance that this is the one guy who eventually turns out to have both really meant it and actually gets up the gumption to do something about it? How many crimes go unsolved because of the resources spent monitoring every single person who ever makes a threat of extreme violence. How many are bankrupted by the taxes needed to sustain that level of surveillance?

      1. creech

        Hindsight is always 20/20 isn’t it?

  3. Just Say’n

    “Trigger Warning Queer and Trans Gun Club.”

    Well good for the gays

    1. Chafed

      Exactly. It’s good to see a segment of The Left discover the benefits of the Second Amendment.

  4. robc

    drunk at Oktoberfest this weekend

    Running a bit late, arent you?

    1. Vhyrus

      *checks calendar*

      Did I miss something?

      1. robc

        Yes, Oktoberfest starts in late September and ends the first weekend in October.

        1. robc

          • Oktoberfest 2017: September 16 – October 3.
          • Oktoberfest 2018: September 22 – October 7.
          • Oktoberfest 2019: September 21 – October 6.

        2. DEG

          Not quite. If German Unity Day (Oct 3rd) is a Monday or Tuesday, the festival runs for extra days to include German Unity Day.

    2. jesse.in.mb

      Yeah. I don’t know why the Alpine Village Oktoberfest runs on the timeline it does, but it runs into mid October and I’ve been out of town or busy on other weekends.

      1. Chafed

        Good to see you posting again.

        1. jesse.in.mb

          Thanks! I’ll try to avoid excessive absenteeism in the future.

  5. Private Chipperbot

    And since I was drunk at Oktoberfest this weekend, here’s a scruffy blond fellow in (faux) leather lederhosen playing the sax.

    Best sax guy scene in a movie… Very 80s…

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      I know it without clicking
      /lost boys

    1. Rope Snake

      inb4 Gilmore

    2. Suthenboy

      In my view Globalism is just a slightly watered down Communism with a different name.

      1. Just Say’n

        “Cosmopolitanism is libertarianism”

        – Nick Gillespie

      2. R C Dean

        Globalism International State Capitalism is just a slightly watered down Communism International Socialism

        That’s actually . . . exactly right.

  6. bacon-magic

    Great links Jesse!

  7. DOOMco

    Jesse is back, and another article is tagged Beefcake!

    1. Tundra

      I can’t even…

      All this objectification of men is just disgusting. We’re more than just slabs of chiseled beef, jesse!

      1. Bobarian LMD

        I’m more what’s considered ‘marbled beef’.

        1. RAHeinlein

          Quoting Riven from previous thread – “well-proportioned pudge”

      2. jesse.in.mb

        We’re more than just slabs of chiseled beef, jesse!

        I’m sorry, I hadn’t noticed, but I’ll try to be more attentive in the future!

    1. Playa Manhattan

      An Italian ass masseuse?

      1. Private Chipperbot

        Maybe. Apparently kinetic tape fixes everything, and I have a bunch of that around. Good start for me.

        1. Tundra

          Hit translate and read the comments. Pretty funny!

        2. Playa Manhattan

          That’s how I knew to find a new physical therapist. The one I had suggested the tape to channel the “healing ions”.

        3. Q Continuum

          “kinetic tape fixes everything”

          There’s hope for men with this problem!

          https://www.theguardian.com/science/2005/mar/16/improbableresearch.research

          1. Bobarian LMD

            It takes Kinetic tape and popsicle sticks to fix ED.

        4. Mad Scientist

          Is that anything like kelp tape?

      2. NOT a Naked Intruder

        Italian ass masseuse

        Total band name

  8. Just Say’n

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DMzfS38WsAEDOZK.jpg:large

    We all agree this never happened, right?

    1. DOOMco

      it’s just feminist penthouse letters.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        So… no happy ending?

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Or happy beginning or happy anywhere in the middle.

      2. Q Continuum

        I never thought this would happen to me…

    2. Playa Manhattan

      Of course not.

      Well, the grammatical mistakes did happen, but not the rest of it.

    3. Mad Scientist

      I doubt there was even a grocery store.

      1. Tundra

        Not after the woman driver got there.

        1. MikeS

          BAM!

      2. Playa Manhattan

        Why don’t you believe the victims, you shitlord?

        1. Mad Scientist

          Well, I DO believe she was crying.

    4. Drake

      I daydream sometimes too. I just don’t turn them into Tweets.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Your daydreams couldn’t possibly be that awful.

        1. Drake

          They would all be hot and topless in mine. And really attracted to me.

          1. Mad Scientist

            How does that differ from reality?

          2. Playa Manhattan

            In at least 3 ways, I’m guessing.

      2. RBS

        Ha, now I am imagining this middle class white chick standing in line at some grocery store, daydreaming and holding up the line while the poor half retarded teenager tries to get her to get on with it before the manager comes over.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          The female army pilot was actually a nude homeless guy.

    5. Count Potato

      I’m pretty sure that is parody.

    6. Endless Mike

      I feel like I’ve read this author’s work before:

      https://www.awesomelyluvvie.com/2012/12/poptart-tragedy.html

      1. Mythical Libertarian Woman

        I’m ded. I cry evertim.

    7. Rasilio

      I fully believe it could have happened, she just left out one very important detail.

      She was in an area heavily populated by immigrants from one particular region of the world.

    8. That’s when you ask, “Did your helicopter have one of those fold-down mirrors so you could check your makeup?”

      … Hobbit

  9. Q Continuum

    “consumers of adult content featuring child actors”

    Recategorization of the year; almost as good as “sanitation engineer” for garbage man.

  10. Q Continuum

    Basic supply and demand; the commentariat likes boobs, so a supply is created.

    http://archive.is/n2wZo

    1. Yeah, but they are crappy low-rez selfie boobs.

      1. Q Continuum

        The Market demands you start your own breast purveying service.

    2. Just Say’n

      God bless you

    3. Tundra

      I’m very conflicted about 18.

      1. Q Continuum

        She might praying mantis you afterward.

        1. Tundra

          Might be worth it.

    4. The Other Kevin

      For some reason “Bored at Work” is my favorite.

      1. Private Chipperbot

        I’m trying to figure out the dress code at #28’s workplace. Because I need relay that info to our HR.

    5. bacon-magic

      *languidly strokes*
      3 cuz’ glasses and I’m at work so couldn’t scroll any further.

      1. Q Continuum

        Do you have an office with a door or is your cubemate getting off on watching right now?

        1. Count Potato

          Why not both?

    6. DEG

      Orgy.

  11. Rope Snake

    Why are the gay-specific gun clubs gay-specific? Recruiting savvy? Fight off the gay bashers? (Are there even very many gay bashers anymore?) Cruising purposes? That’s it: it’s a singles club, ain’t it!

    1. Just Say’n

      “gay bashers anymore”

      Mitt Romney? He gave that one guy a haircut, I heard, or something like that

    2. Drake

      I don’t recall the club asking my orientation when I joined.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        They just assumed.

      2. Rope Snake

        *grabs ass*

        1. Drake

          Folks are strangely polite around armed people.

          1. Rope Snake

            We all know you’re just compensating for your tiny penis.

    3. jesse.in.mb

      The Pink Pistols link is to Jonathan Rauch’s article, which inspired the formation of The Pink Pistols. The gist is that having a well armed [insert group here] will change reduce violence against that group by making their ability to defend themselves an unknown and unknowable quantity. It’s an argument you’d just as easily hear about homeowners or women walking through a park, or whatever.

      Also most if not all of the Pink Pistols clubs are inclusive. I don’t remember what the issue was but there was an uptick in straight PP membership a few (or several) years back when people were fed up with some of the NRA’s policy positions and wanted to belong to a gun club that was less aggressively political.

      1. Rope Snake

        he gist is that having a well armed [insert group here] will change reduce violence against that group by making their ability to defend themselves an unknown and unknowable quantity.

        Ah! I see. Smart thinkin’

  12. Gustave Lytton

    Reposted from the morning links, my fave Fats Domino in a live performance. RIP. At least we still have Lou Reed and David Bowie.

    1. Just Say’n

      I honestly didn’t realize Lou Reed died until I went to friend’s party in honor of David Bowie’s passing. At least we still have Prince

      1. Gustave Lytton

        And Tom Petty!

        1. Rope Snake

          At least we still have Trish Keenan.

          …No? No one?

      2. Just Say’n

        In honor of Lou Reed’s passing, which I completely missed

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbOKWsfTTeM

        1. Rope Snake

          [In honor of Lou Reed, he posts a Nico song]

          Shady

          1. Just Say’n

            It was his band, so it counts

          2. Juvenile Bluster

            A Nico song, you say?

            (What in the fuck is wrong with me?)

        2. ChipsnSalsa

          Lou Reed is dead?!?!

          1. Mad Scientist

            First I’ve heard of it.

          2. Bobarian LMD

            It’s just an internet rumor, like gay frogs.

          3. Gustave Lytton

            Thanks Golden Girls!

          4. Just Say’n

            Speaking of gay frogs. Best folk song

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWd6XgBVIcg

          5. Waterfall Insurance

            Combining heroin and Tai chi is often mistaken for death… https://youtu.be/TqwWqxWfpXg

          6. Count Potato

            Just when you’ve thought you’ve seen everything….

    2. Drake

      I had no idea Fats was still alive. I would have lost that bet 30 years ago.

    3. DEG

      That is a good song.

  13. Juvenile Bluster

    Hypothetically, if a person (who is in no way me) were to want to do great harm to his soon to be former brother in law (who is in no way my soon-to-be-former brother in law), what type of slow torture would you recommend? Or, say, if such person knew that said individual carries, concealed, handguns (one, sometimes two) without a permit in contravention of state law, would it be hypocritical to tell such a thing to law enforcement authorities?

    Again, this is all just hypothetical and doesn’t involve real people

    1. Tundra

      ..soon-to-be-former…

      Key phrase there. Patience, Grasshopper. As satisfying as hypothetically fucking the guy up would be, too many things can go wrong.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        The issue is that he’s insisting on taking things to trial (when his own lawyer is telling him he’s an idiot and there’s no way he’s going to do better in court than what the settlement offer was), because his parents are pretty damn wealthy and are easily able to keep paying for a lawyer, while this … hypothetical person’s parents can’t afford such things.

      2. Suthenboy

        Bingo. One thing that old age has taught me is that people like that….just be patient and get out the way. They will end up doing it to themselves while you are off living a peaceful life. Don’t get that shit on you, it’s damned hard to wash off.

    2. Send him bacon during Passover.

      (You are the one with the ultra-Orthodox Jewish brother-in-law who’s been screwing over his wife/your sister, right?)

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Bad Ted! Bad!

        1. Gustave Lytton

          I’m thinking some kind of annoying electronic noisemaker on a timer with an off switch.

          1. Gustave Lytton

            Delivered on Friday afternoon of course.

          2. bacon-magic

            glitterbomb

        2. Nothing illegal about sending somebody a package of bacon.

          1. Mad Scientist

            It’s no good if they’re just going to throw it away. In that case, you’ve knowingly contributed to bacon abuse.

            I’d recommend leaving a fish in his car they next time he goes out of town.

          2. bacon-magic

            knowingly contributed to bacon abuse.

            *fist bumps*
            Thanks for having my 6

          3. Mad Scientist

            Anytime. I wouldn’t want these doughnuts to without a jacket.

          4. As long as it’s not a gefilte fish.

          5. Try to get it in the wheel well out of sight.

          6. bacon-magic

            Lay off the package milk-boy!

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        This hypothetical person is in such a situation, yes.

      3. Juvenile Bluster

        The proper food to send to him during Passover would be a ham and cheese sandwich on white bread.

      4. bacon-magic

        I am slow torture.

    3. Just Say’n

      We’re all going to get subpoenaed a few months from now because of this post, aren’t we?

    4. Playa Manhattan

      Fill a couple prescriptions for Epi Pens so you can prolong the torture. You don’t want him passing out on you.

    5. Drake

      Once he becomes “former” will he be writing checks to your sister? Checks he couldn’t write if he were, for instance, in prison?

      1. Once he becomes “former” will he be writing checks to your sister?

        Not on Shabbat.

        1. Dr. Fronkensteen

          I told that kraut a fucking thousand times that I don’t roll on Shabbos

          1. Bobarian LMD

            Never find a stranger in the Alps.

    6. Mad Scientist

      Living well is the best revenge. Unless it’s the boats.

      1. peachy rex

        Frasier: You know the expression, “Living well is the best revenge”?
        Niles: It’s a wonderful expression. I just don’t know how true it is. You don’t see it turning up in a lot of opera plots. “Ludwig, maddened by the poisoning of his entire family, wreaks vengeance on Gunther in the third act by living well.”

        1. Rhywun

          That was a very good sitcom. Can’t imagine it on network TV today.

          1. peachy rex

            It also has more opera references per minute than anything ever filmed – well, except the occasional opera, I guess.

      2. R C Dean

        This. Lead a happy life. It might drive him nuts, but if not, who cares? You have a happy life.

    7. Vhyrus

      As far as the snitching on guns goes, depending on the state carrying without a license is often a slap on the wrist. You could wait until he was in Walmart and then do a man with a gun 911 call on him claiming he threatened you.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Yeah, a brandishing call will get the job done.

        Also, a TRO. He would have to surrender his guns after being served.

        1. Juvenile Bluster

          He was served with a TRO at one point earlier this year, though none of us believe he turned over his guns.

          This is in Maryland, which IIRC has gun laws nearly as bad as New Jersey’s.

          1. Vhyrus

            If he is carrying a gun in MD he will go away a loooooong time. Drop that dime and watch him disappear into the salt mines.

          2. Playa Manhattan

            That’s when you make the call. Failure to surrender weapons is a felony in CA, so it has to be in MD.

          3. Spartan Dad

            Maryland will fuck him into another world if he’s carrying concealed with a TRO.

            Maryland is so fucked up that VA tried to pass a bipartisan bill (that was vetoed) to prevent Maryland troopers from gaining access to VA’s DMV system that lets them know which VA drivers have concealed carry licenses. Maryland troopers cruise around running VA plates hoping they find legal permit holders to harass. It’s such a big deal that many VA Dem gun grabbers voted in favor of the bill.

          4. Fuck the full faith and credit clause.

          5. Viking1865

            Maryland is so fucked up that VA tried to pass a bipartisan bill (that was vetoed)

            Fucking Scumbag Terry

            The NYPD used to send plainclothes detectives to VA gun shows looking for “weapons traffickers”. Bob McDonnell told Bloomberg if he ever did that again, he would have the VA State Police arrest the NYPD.

            McDonnell was later railroaded prosecuted by the Holder DOJ so he couldn’t run for President in 2012.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Yeah, they didn’t have Jezebel.com back then. They would be so jealous.

      2. Yusef drives a Kia

        The Boats of GTFO

    8. bacon-magic

      Hypothetically speaking:
      Getting involved to that point might have repercussions later…sometimes people make nice then you turn into the bad guy.

    9. nw

      I don’t know enough about your conception of your ethics to say whether it would be hypocritical, but I think that any
      consistent ethical framework other than might makes right would preclude someone from using the power of
      the state against someone where you wouldn’t agree that it was legitimate to use that same power against yourself.

      Given some reasonable assumptions due to your posting here though, I would say
      “yes, it would be hypocritical”.

    10. Rasilio

      Gain access to his computer, install a routine that runs in the background and regularly pings websites on OMWC’;s favorites list and downloads a couple of images

    11. ArchieBunker

      Plant a meth lab. That with the gun, Hypothetical you will never see him again

  14. LJW

    Organization with an agenda confirms own bias.

    Someone please think of the children!

    1. Playa Manhattan

      I got about 2/3rds of the way through, and still no mention of the levels found.

      1. LJW

        News flash they never do. They go off on a lead tangent.

    2. Why is the Mercury News writing about arsenic instead of the heavy metals?

    3. Grumbletarian

      It should be noted that the quantities can range from large to small, but some products tested positive for up to 600 parts of arsenic per billion. That’s worrying.

      “Some Products” tested “up to” 600 ppb. For example, the ACME Big Bottle of Pure Arsenic…

      1. kbolino

        If your big bottle of arsenic contains only 0.00006% arsenic, you got swindled.

        1. Rasilio

          It’s Homeopathic arsenic

    4. Juvenile Bluster

      Lemme guess. The products containing arsenic contained apples. Am I right? I’m right, aren’t I.

      1. Count Potato

        An apple a day keeps rats from living in your stomach.

    5. kbolino

      The filter doesn’t like that link for me, but if Grumbletarian’s quote is from the piece, then it’s a friggin’ joke.

      The LD50 for Arsenic given to mice orally is about 150 mg/kg (MSDS). It’s much higher for rats, but let’s be conservative.

      If the food has an arsenic concentration of 600ppb, a 5 kg (12 lb) baby would need to eat 1.25 metric tons (2,750 lbs) of the food to have a 50% chance of dying from it. Oh, and half of the arsenic will be gone from the body in 10 hours, so that ton and change of baby food would have to be eaten in less than a day.

      Unless your baby consumes 250 times his weight for breakfast, I don’t think you need to panic.

      1. kbolino

        To my complete lack of surprise, it is very difficult to find concrete information on the concentrations of arsenic that cause harm short of death (e.g., cancer). But, there is no shortage of regulatory agencies and “evidence-based” advocates pulling numbers out of their asses to set “minimum safe levels”.

      2. kbolino

        For comparison, if 1 mg/kg daily* is the “danger” level for arsenic (short of acute toxicity), then said 5 kg baby would still need to eat 8.3 kg (18 lb) of 600 ppb baby food a day to be at risk.

        * = Related to/despite my above complaint, this number gets bandied about but doesn’t have clear support

        1. Grumbletarian

          How do you expect people to panic when you use fats and math, shitlord?

          1. Grumbletarian

            Facts, that is…

          2. kbolino

            These sorts of things drive me crazy (see also: lead). They talk about “evidence”, “science”, and “research”, then spout crap like “there’s no such thing as a safe level of lead” which is anti-empirical nonsense. And short of polonium and a handful of other extremely potent substances, concentrations of most toxins under 1 ppm are pretty much nothing. Yes, they can accumulate in the body, but that accumulation can still be quantified, along with the absorption rate and biological half-life.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Again, this is all just hypothetical and doesn’t involve real people

    Drop an anvil on him.

  16. Just Say’n

    https://twitter.com/IBTimes/status/923216346497863681

    This is what a feminist looks like!

    1. AlmightyJB

      Nope. I’ve seen chicks peeing in men’s bathrooms sinks or trash cans at concerts. This was decades ago though.

      1. Just Say’n

        A urinal is a new one for me.

    2. Rope Snake

      Which stream of feminism?

    3. Q Continuum

      Call me when she starts taking it up the tailpipe. Then we’re talking real feminism.

      1. Just Say’n

        I like your style

    4. She just wanted to make a splash.

    1. Just Say’n

      Dumbest idea since their last idea

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Or their next one.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Alternatively, you could run over this hypothetical person with a hypothetical steamroller and then slip him under his hypothetical parents’ door.

  18. Tundra

    Here Are The 10 Most Important Reported Claims About The Steele Dossier On Russia

    Mollie attempts to bring some clarity. Reading through it, I can’t fathom what the donks were thinking, keeping this shit alive. Is this what blowback looks like?

    1. Just Say’n

      Russia fever is going to end real quick.

      Also, ‘would’ Molly Hemingway for reasons I don’t understand. I find her to be annoying sometimes, but for some reason I appreciate her spunk

      1. Tundra

        I like her. I don’t always agree with her take, but she seems to be a pretty honest person.

        1. Just Say’n

          Have you ever listened to the Federalist podcast (usually Ben Domenech hosts it)? It’s pretty good. They had Van Jones on last week and there was a civil discussion- no screaming out of lunacy. And people were allowed to make points and not short sound bites. It’s a pretty good podcast.

          1. Tundra

            I’ve not, but I will check it out. Thanks!

      2. bacon-magic

        Yeah she does seem like one of the better ones imo.

      3. Chipwooder

        But does she appreciate yours? *rimshot*

      4. “I appreciate her spunk”

        I doubt she appreciates yours.

        1. Reminds self: SCROLL DOWN, Dipshit.

      5. The Last American Hero

        Well, there are no Libertarian Women, so the next best thing is a libertarianish woman. It’s pretty simple, really.

        1. Rasilio

          What if it is a womanish libertarian?

          I mean there’s got to be room for Welch in here somewhere right?

    2. DOOMco

      They thought it would work? What’s one more?

    3. Gustave Lytton

      Just like at the Brits at the Battle of Loos.

    4. kbolino

      I never thought “it’s always projection with them” was ever going to be applied quite so… literally.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    It must be true, I read it on the internet!

    Modern electric vehicles (EVs) have several key advantages over traditional vehicles, like faster acceleration, much lower maintenance costs, and zero tail-pipe emissions. And because EVs are so much more efficient than gas-powered cars, they are the only alternative fuel car with a much lower per-mile fueling cost than petrol cars — even when running on carbon-free fuel.

    As soon as the fast-charging problem is solved, electric cars will match or beat gasoline cars in every respect, ensuring the century-long dominance of vehicles powered by liquid fossil comes to an end.

    Until very recently, the barriers to EVs becoming mass-market cars were primarily due to expensive and bulky batteries: high initial cost, relatively short range, and recharging that took hours.

    But thanks to smart government policies here and abroad — including a big bet by President Obama’s Department of Energy (DOE) on a once-obscure Silicon Valley start-up named Tesla — we’ve seen both rapid drops in battery cost and dramatic improvements in battery performance.

    I can’t help but think a “fast charge” for a battery with as much capacity as an electric car would require something very similar to a slow motion lightning strike. I don’t want to throw down the Precautionary Principle card, but what are the reasonably anticipated hazards to this sort of high-powered electrical surge? What happens if it’s raining?

    1. bacon-magic

      If they had that capability there would be a weaponized version already.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        There are supposedly serious electrocution risks with prius and teslas at serious accidents.

        And any actual ‘fast charge’ schemes that can refuel as fast as combustion engines involve doing battery swaps.

        Otherwise fast charge is ‘stop and eat lunch’ while you wait, vice ‘stop and spend the night’ while you wait.

        And rapid drops in battery cost are due significantly to rapid increase in subsidies.

      2. Yusef drives a Kia

        They do

    2. Playa Manhattan

      Hmmm… They can’t think of any key disadvantages?

    3. Mad Scientist

      and zero tail-pipe emissions

      Gotta admire those weasel words. The car essentially runs on coal.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        Depends on where you live, wouldn’t it?

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Hollywood and the Westside?
          Yeah, it’s coal.

          1. JaimeRoberto

            Yeah, but that’s a long way away, so it doesn’t really exist.

    4. Juvenile Bluster

      Fast charging is the key. Get me into a scenario where charging my battery is as quick (or close enough) to the amount of time it takes to fill my tank with gas and I’ll be all-in with EV.

      But I’m not sure the laws of chemistry or physics allow for that.

      1. Tundra

        Bingo.

        And what effect does extreme temps have, because my evil Tahoe operates pretty much the same from -40 to 110.

        EVs clearly have a place. Just quit trying to shoehorn everyone into them and let the market decide (of course, anyone with a functioning brain knows how that will end).

    5. Vhyrus

      Sigh… Let me fisk this piece by piece.

      Modern electric vehicles (EVs) have several key advantages over traditional vehicles, like faster acceleration, much lower maintenance costs, and zero tail-pipe emissions.

      The first and third are true, but the second is such a gigantic lie I can’t even see the other two points underneath it. Also, the car itself has no emissions because the emissions were generated at the power plant that created the power, numbnuts. It’s not greener if you’re simply blowing the smoke in a different state.

      And because EVs are so much more efficient than gas-powered cars, they are the only alternative fuel car with a much lower per-mile fueling cost than petrol cars — even when running on carbon-free fuel.

      The efficiency is based entirely on the powerplant you hook the stupid car to, and to a small degree the batteries, but filling a battery with power and then discharging it will always be less efficient than using the power directly from the line, so I am not exactly sure what this guy is selling at this point.

      As soon as the fast-charging problem is solved, electric cars will match or beat gasoline cars in every respect, ensuring the century-long dominance of vehicles powered by liquid fossil comes to an end.

      That’s like saying “As soon as the cold fusion problem is solved, nuclear powerplants will match or beat fossil fuel plants in every respect…” That’s a HUGE FUCKING ‘IF’ there, nostradumbass! There is a massive amount of heat generated from quick charging a battery of that size, and repeated fast charging will shred a current tech battery. Also massive heat = massive inefficiency which may completely kill the entire selling point of EVs.

      Until very recently, the barriers to EVs becoming mass-market cars were primarily due to expensive and bulky batteries: high initial cost, relatively short range, and recharging that took hours.
      But thanks to smart government policies here and abroad — including a big bet by President Obama’s Department of Energy (DOE) on a once-obscure Silicon Valley start-up named Tesla — we’ve seen both rapid drops in battery cost and dramatic improvements in battery performance.

      We have seen nothing of the sort. Batteries still suck, period. The fact that they suck slightly less is not some groundbreaking achievement. We still use lead acid batteries to start all of our cars because they are the only thing cheap and reliable enough to work. When Lithium batteries become the defacto standard in all vehicles the way that leds and cfls have nearly completely wiped out the incandescent market, then we can talk.

      1. DOOMco

        I’m also having trouble believing the lower maintenance costs. Cheaper than a new lambo? Sure. Cheaper than a Hoda Civic?

        1. Mad Scientist

          Sure, the maintenance costs are lower, because once the battery wears out you throw the whole car away and get a new one. No maintenance at all!

          1. Tundra

            Besides, focusing on maintenance costs is kind of dishonest. I’d like to see an honest cost per mile, because ultimately that’s the only thing that matters. You MAY save on maintenance, but when you factor in purchase price, insurance, battery replacement, etc. I suspect the numbers tell a different tale.

          2. DOOMco

            “That’s why we need the tax credit!!!”
            /boulder

        2. I’ve heard a Hoda Kotb is high maintenance.

      2. Suthenboy

        I used to know this but now I have to ask. Does anyone here know how to calculate the energy lost in transmission from a power plant over some known distance of wire?

        Electric cars are wildly inefficient in every step of putting that energy at the disposal of some smug asshole.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          COP 3=Nat gas
          1= electricity
          only about 30% max eff. from Fossil to Electricity

        2. mexican sharpshooter

          You can calculate line loss with the formulas available in an Ugly’s Manual.

      3. invisible finger

        I’m not even sure faster acceleration is an advantage. Depends on how many people can;t control their vehicles because of the fast acceleration. Rarely a month goes by I don’t see the blood and guts of some dipshit millennial after driving his crotch rocket 120 mph on the expressway and losing control.

        1. Mad Scientist

          Or a Mustang leaving a coffee joint.

          1. Mustang

            Can confirm this is true.

      4. mexican sharpshooter

        When Lithium batteries become the defacto standard in all vehicles the way that leds and cfls have nearly completely wiped out the incandescent market

        If I am not mistaken, incandescent lights were phased out by an act of congress. There’s a pretty big market for them still, particularly among people that get seizures. I guess what I’m saying is, don’t give them ideas.

        1. Yet the market responded with LEDs, which have tumbled in price and eradicated the insufferable compact fluorescents.

    6. Rufus the Monocled

      “But thanks to smart government policies here and abroad — including a big bet by President Obama’s Department of Energy (DOE) on a once-obscure Silicon Valley start-up named Tesla — we’ve seen both rapid drops in battery cost and dramatic improvements in battery performance”

      ;Smart’ government and Obama made it happen!

      Rumor has it producing EV cars aren’t that environmental.

      1. Africans be like “fuck no, that shit is dangerous.”

    7. Rasilio

      Fast swap is better than fast charge.

      If you have the cars pull up to something like a jiffy lube where an automated system swaps the battery pack out for a new fully charged one in 5 minutes or less you’ve solved the charging problem.

      Then you just need to find a way to get it so that they can go at least 250 miles without a charge

      1. Rasilio

        Oh one other thing about this, that means when you buy a fill up you not only are paying for the cost of the electricity in the battery and the cost of the equipment used to do the fast swap (much more expensive than an underground tank and a pump), but also depreciation on the battery because they would no longer be an integral part of the car. So rather than $10,000 every 4 – 5 years for new batteries you’d be looking at another ~$30 added to the “fill up” to cover the depreciation on that battery

  20. AlmightyJB

    What’s with the public schoolboy description?

    http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-41754174

    1. Brett L

      Its like saying “Prep School Rapist”.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Right. The worst kind.

    2. Vhyrus

      he only raped the lower classes. Chavs hardest hit.

      1. AlmightyJB

        You expect it from filthy mongrols but he should know better being white upper crust.

    3. In the sidebar:

      Clinton team ‘funded’ Trump dirty dossier

      Gotta love how they put “funded” in sneer quotes.

      1. Rope Snake

        “The victim here is the President,” Mr Trump tweeted on Wednesday.

        He’s referring to himself in the third-person now, just like CAESAR! Aauuuughh! *rends clothes and hair*

  21. Q Continuum

    Word is still out on “YOU NEED CTHULHU”

    https://www.thecollegefix.com/post/38242/

    1. The Other Kevin

      Can’t wait for “What Happened 2” to come out!

    2. Playa Manhattan

      The first reply underneath….

      Chelsea is as bad at lying as her mom.

      1. AlmightyJB

        That’s a pretty freaking high bar. She must have a 666 birthmark somewhere. And no, I don’t want to see it.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Chelsea claiming that she left her church at age 6 because of their stance on abortion????

          That’s right on par with Hillary (born 1947) claiming she was named after Sir Edmund Hillary, who didn’t summit Everest until 1953.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            Why did she need an abortion when she was 6?

          2. Playa Manhattan

            B. Clinton. No wait, that’s too obvious. Let’s call him Bill C.

  22. Ken Shultz

    “Western news media is reporting a possible Russian intelligence purge and mole hunt by Vladimir Putin in December, as a response to the “Golden Showers” blackmail dossier CNN and Buzzfeed reported in January.

    According to USA Today, Putin has black bagged and arrested three other high-ranking Russian intelligence officials, as well as the head of the top cybersecurity firm in Russia.

    This weekend The Telegraph reports that ex-KGB Chief Oleg Erovinkin was found dead in his Lexus after previously being the top subordinate of Putin’s Igor Sechin, an oligarch who runs Russia’s state owned Roseneft oil company.

    This story is part of the continued fallout from Buzzfeed’s release of the “Golden Showers” raw intelligence dossier, which has likely sparked the Russian President’s lethal retaliation against one member of his own, inner circle.”

    —-Huffiana Post

    January 30, 2017

    https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ex-kgb-spy-cited-in-the-trump-blackmail-dossier-just_us_588e3f0de4b0cd25e4904a24

    I’m not saying people died because of Hillary Clinton’s dirty campaign, . . but people died because of Hillary Clinton’s dirty campaign.

    1. Suthenboy

      “I’m not saying people died because of Hillary Clinton’s dirty campaign, . . but people died because of Hillary Clinton’s dirty campaign.”

      It aint the first time.

      1. BakedPenguin

        You will know her by the trail of her dead.

  23. Michael

    If last year you’d have told me that the mayor of an island city that was completely devastated by a hurricane would be arguing with relief workers on Twitter, I would have called you insane.

    https://twitter.com/CarmenYulinCruz/status/923244556828672001

    1. Private Chipperbot

      Wow. What a dunce.

    2. The Other Kevin

      Lovely. She’s playing the “you don’t like my opinion just because I’m a woman” card too.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        That’s not the only reason we don’t like your opinion, sweetie.

    3. invisible finger

      Where did she get the electricity to use twitter?

      1. Michael

        They must have a generator at the t-shirt printing shop she uses.

    4. Suthenboy

      I knew PR would be a giant clusterfuck but I had no idea it was going to be this big.

    5. Playa Manhattan

      Don’t get mad at WhiteFish. They’re the only ones who didn’t demand money up front, which is why they got the job.

      I don’t know if you guys have heard the rumors, but apparently Puerto Rico isn’t good at paying bills.

      1. BakedPenguin

        But their 2035 munis are yielding almost 16%!

        1. R C Dean

          Default risk premium, bro.

  24. wdalasio

    “We’re acknowledging our fear of a world in which conservatives are the only ones who are armed.”

    I’ve heard this line of reasoning a couple of times. It’s also used about black people having guns. I don’t really get it. Do the people pushing this line really think the “gun nut” conservatives are going to go in a panic and scream among themselves “ERMIGAAAD!!! TEH GHEYZ, TEH WIMINZ AND TEH NEEGRAS GOTS TEH GUNZ!!”? They’ve been advocating armed self-defense for these groups of people for a couple of decades. Usually to be responded to with claims that they’re “blaming the victim”.

    1. jesse.in.mb

      Wat? A lot of current gun control law is rooted in discomfort with Black Panthers wandering around with long guns strapped to their backs on defense patrols.

      In this context “conservatives” is probably an unfair shorthand for “people who politically or physically might be interested in doing us harm” and it’s not about driving some kind of fear into their hearts that the HOMOS ARE ARMING!, but encouraging dumbasses who might get off on harming homos to go “might that homo be armed?”

      Women don’t really fit into either case as folks seem to think ladies with guns are kinda sexy.

      1. wdalasio

        A lot of current gun control law is rooted in discomfort with Black Panthers wandering around with long guns strapped to their backs on defense patrols.

        Let’s put this a little bit in perspective. You’re talking about discomfort from the better part of fifty years ago. You might as well, realistically, be talking about opposition to gun control stemming from opposition to the Klan. If you want to talk about the landscape in the conscious lifetime of most people in the debate today, neither has been a relevant factor. At a certain point LARPing the Civil Rights Movement isn’t terribly productive.

        And, really, do you think “gun nuts” really mind any of the groups getting into guns?

        1. jesse.in.mb

          And, really, do you think “gun nuts” really mind any of the groups getting into guns?

          I’m not sure where I implied that I did. You were the one that arbitrarily read:

          Do the people pushing this line really think the “gun nut” conservatives are going to go in a panic and scream among themselves “ERMIGAAAD!!! TEH GHEYZ, TEH WIMINZ AND TEH NEEGRAS GOTS TEH GUNZ!!”?

          Into a statement about it not being useful if all the guns in the country are aligned one way politically.

          As to whether the Panthers are still relevant in today’s gun control debate, our current politicians are currently (though blessedly not for much longer) the ones who were cutting their teeth on the ’60s and ’70s as Gen Xers fully replace the younger boomers I’m sure you’ll see more people who were shaped by panics about militias back in the day, but there’s still a perfectly reasonable mix about people who have “urban gun violence” tucked in their heads when they call for more legislation.

          1. wdalasio

            but there’s still a perfectly reasonable mix about people who have “urban gun violence” tucked in their heads when they call for more legislation

            Yeah. Because we all know about all those pro-gun control conservatives. What? All three of them?

            As to where I thought you implied you did, consider:

            In this context “conservatives” is probably an unfair shorthand for “people who politically or physically might be interested in doing us harm”

            I think there’s a pretty wide chasm between people who oppose someone politically and people who want to violently attack them. Certainly the latter would oppose someone getting into guns. But, only a paranoid in the former category would even think one way or the other about the question. The idea that an armed political opponent is some sort of threat isn’t something sane people entertain on a regular basis.

          2. jesse.in.mb

            To recap:
            I FOUND SOMETHING OFFENSIVE IN A PUFF PIECE
            Nah dude, they were probably just being loose with language.
            NO YOU BELIEVE THE SAME OFFENSIVE THING

            While I’m loving the tedium of this conversation to pieces, I gotta skedaddle to a doctor’s appointment, so I’ll leave you with this and you can pick it apart at your leisure in my absence:

            In the latest Morning Consult/Politico survey, 49% [of surveyed Republicans] said they either “strongly support” or “somewhat support” stricter gun laws in the United States. A quarter said they strongly supported these measures, and 24% said they somewhat supported them. The poll found that 45% were opposed and 27% were strongly opposed [emphasis mine]

            Sounds like more than three of them.

          3. WTF

            Two points:
            1. Time and Politico, likely not an objective survey.
            2. Republican is not the same as conservative.

        2. Tonio

          “You’re talking about discomfort from the better part of fifty years ago. You might as well, realistically, be talking about opposition to gun control stemming from opposition to the Klan.”

          You might indeed, Dalasio, if that discomfort were instantiated as a law. Because laws don’t just magically go away when the popular opinion changes.

          1. R C Dean

            Exactly this. Gun control and the WOD are both Jim Crow relics.

          2. wdalasio

            You might indeed, Dalasio, if that discomfort were instantiated as a law.

            But laws aren’t people. Nor are political labels. And if you’re saying you’re worried about a group of people having all the guns, you aren’t talking about laws or political labels. You’re talking about people. Not people fifty years ago who passed a law. Not people fifty years ago who had some political label. People today. And the reaction of the overwhelming majority of conservatives today, the people the folks in the article seem to be so terrified of, to finding gays or blacks or women starting to take an interest in the Second Amendment and firearms ownership would be “Cool. Glad to hear it.”.

            The concern the people in the article express simply doesn’t comport with reality. The people who approve of you arming yourself aren’t people inclined to want to attack you. The people who want to reverse the Jim Crow gun control laws, who want to make it easier for people other than them to get guns, probably aren’t the people you should be worried about having most of the guns. It’s a fear derived from a cartoon characterization that borders on paranoia.

      2. BakedPenguin

        Women don’t really fit into either case as folks seem to think ladies with guns are kinda sexy.

        Oh yeah

          1. BakedPenguin

            Well, that’s horrific.

  25. Spartan Dad

    To follow-up from my outdoor light issue, I decided to just start over by installing a new light and run new wires underground.

    I’m running schedule 40 pvc in a straight line from the junction to the back of the pole, put in a 90 degree elbow bend, and then run it up the pole to where it fits into a knockout within the light. The problem is that I need to snake the pipe around to the front of the pole before running straight up into the light and am not sure how to do this. I would just bend it if it was emt, but I’ve never worked with pvc before.

    Any idea on how to do this? I thought about transitioning to flexible non-metallic conduit to curve around the pole, but maybe that’s overthinking it.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      I didn’t see the original post, but they sell short lengths of rubber conduit at Home Depot for exactly that purpose. It has the same fittings as the PVC.

        1. Spartan Dad

          Okay, we’re talking about the same thing. I’ll probably just get the long lengths and store what I don’t need. All my emt stuff is contractor quantity because I figure it’ll get used.

          1. Playa Manhattan

            I didn’t see it on the website, but they have ones that are 18″ long and nutted and threaded on both ends. I have a couple in the garage.

        2. Yusef drives a Kia

          Or what we call a whip, 3 ft long 2 fittings and some wire, cheaper than a full roll

      1. Spartan Dad

        Thanks, I’ll check that out.

    2. Tundra

      Using the flexi would be easiest. You could, I suppose, bend the regular PVC with a heat gun.

      1. Spartan Dad

        That’s what it’s sounding like.

      2. mexican sharpshooter

        When bending PVC, use a sweep of EMT or the like as a template, unless you don’t care what people think of your workmanship.

    3. Brett L

      Instructable on bending.

      1. jesse.in.mb

        Chill out there, Aang.

        1. DOOMco

          lol

    4. Spartan Dad

      I guess maybe two 90 degree connectors would work if I offset the pipe to run alongside the pole. Just seems like there should be an easier way.

      1. Spartan Dad

        Oops, didn’t see all these replies, thanks.

      2. Playa Manhattan

        I have 4 low voltage lights that are flush with the concrete on my patio to highlight the roofline.

        My biggest regret is not filling the connecters with dielectric grease. The connections are starting to fail and I’m getting some flickering.

    5. Mad Scientist

      Can you run the wiring inside the pole? PVC doesn’t do too well in sunlight.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Are we assuming that he’s ghetto and not going to paint?

        I mean, I would paint.

        Unless my wife told me to. Then I definitely wouldn’t.

        1. Mad Scientist

          I assume a “spartan” dad is so frugal he won’t paint it. But I also assume he’s not totally ghetto, in which case he would dispense with the PVC and run the bare wire up the pole.

          1. Spartan Dad

            I wouldn’t say ghetto, but my area is definitely redneck with a little hillbilly.

            It’s a solid wooden pole, just like a streetlight but a little smaller, so can’t run wiring inside. I can’t even reach the current light or wiring without a cherry picker or 40′ ladder, so it comes out just easier and cheaper to put in new wiring and a light where I can reach with my 20′ ladder. This will also be a good trial run for my next project of running conduit and lights out 200′ to the end of the driveway.

          2. Yusef drives a Kia

            Watch for voltage drop if you are going 200 ft. about 3% per 100′ is about right

          3. Spartan Dad

            Right, I’ve thought about it. I would just be running a couple 40 watt LED streetlights. I would like to install gate openers one day, which will eat some power, but hopefully 12 gauge should give enough juice for that even with the drop.

            One day, off in the future, I’m going to run 300-400′ out to my barn, along with water. I haven’t calculated out what gauge I’ll need to compensate for the drop, but I know it’s not going to be cheap.

          4. Suthenboy

            Be careful Spartan. Running electric and water to a structure my put you in a different property tax category. Better check with the assessor before doing that.

          5. Spartan Dad

            Thanks, that’s a good point but it’s something I have to do regardless. It’s getting too much to break ice up every morning in winter for the livestock. Our taxes are low to begin with and then I get 50% off the land and barn.

          6. Playa Manhattan

            Oooh. SOLID wood. That’s fancy!

          7. Did you expect him to have liquid wood?

    6. mexican sharpshooter

      You could always run it straight to a junction box at the bottom of the pole and do a straight run from there. If you ever plan to add more poles and more lights you might be able to use the junction box as a starting point to branch the circuit to other places.

      1. Spartan Dad

        Not on this one, but that’s a good idea that I planned doing on my other runs. On that 200′ foot run along the driveway, I have 3 poles already in the ground with solar lights that I was going to wire up with gfci outlets at the base and powered lights on top to replace the solar ones.

  26. Juvenile Bluster

    UC-Berkeley’s student newspaper issues an “apology” (by which I mean “sorry if you were offended”) for the anti-Semitic cartoon they published last week.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Homework assignment for the editorial board: sub in the word “Charlottesville” and see how the apology sounds.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    And because EVs are so much more efficient than gas-powered cars, they are the only alternative fuel car with a much lower per-mile fueling cost than petrol cars — even when running on carbon-free fuel.

    Yeah, that’s a giant weasel, too. “Fuel” cost per mile may be pretty low, but total cost of ownership is a completely different matter, and I call bullshit on any pretense of electric cars being cheaper to own and operate overall.

    Also- “so much more efficient than gas-powered cars” deserves some clarification.

    1. Mad Scientist

      Yeah, I want to know how many miles the car can be driven per ton of coal.

  28. Gilmore

    “Trigger Warning Queer and Trans Gun Club.”

    I would be curious to see survey of their most popular firearm (not just what they own/shoot, but what they retain most fond-feelings towards)

    “”Chipotle shares drop 15% as investors balk at the recovery time””

    lol

  29. B.P.

    Hard drive in computer found in Las Vegas shooter’s computer is missing….

    http://abcnews.go.com/US/las-vegas-shooters-laptop-missing-hard-drive/story?id=50709285

    I guess this guy really didn’t want his thoughts to be known.

    Warning: Autoplay video bombardment, including an advertisement that indicates that staying at an MGM resort in Vegas will help with the healing or something.

    1. B.P.

      Eh, remove second “computer”, insert “hotel room”.

    2. Vhyrus

      Why have the computer there if it has no hard drive? You can’t even turn it on. This whole thing stinks on ice.

      1. Vhyrus

        I’m calling conspiracy on this one. There is literally no reason for a computer without a hard drive to be in that room. If he didn’t want his tracks uncovered he could have thrown the whole laptop off the hoover dam. There is absolutely zero reason to remove the hard drive and then walk around with a completely useless laptop. Someone took the hard drive out and left the computer knowing it would take the cops some time to figure it out and simultaneously prevent them from getting tracked, since you can track a computer but a hard drive is damn near impossible to track.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Maybe he removed the drive and chucked it out the window before he started shooting. Have the police checked the bushes yet?

          1. Vhyrus

            You can get data off a drive like that, so unless he nuked it in the microwave I’m still calling bullshit.

          2. Playa Manhattan

            I know you can. Unless it’s “missing”.

      2. jesse.in.mb

        Oh, I sort of assumed that you were running a TailsOS LiveUSB that could be easily disappeared when the feebs raid your compound…I mean…isn’t everyone?

        1. Vhyrus

          I have guns so that I don’t have to do clever spy vs spy shit with my comps. You want my data? Fine, you can take my whole tower after you scrape my dead body off of it.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            I don’t have to do clever spy vs spy shit with my comps

            Have to? You mean GET to. Toying around with obscure OSes and non-traditional hardware configurations is the spice of life, bruh.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    I would just bend it if it was emt, but I’ve never worked with pvc before.

    Don’t they have radius bends for that grey electrical pvc?

  31. Gustave Lytton

    Fats Domino passing and more Russia news so… how about both?

  32. Gilmore

    Libertarian Moment!

    I’m stocking up on livers

    1. Playa Manhattan

      It’s perfectly legal, and the contract makes it very clear that you’re not buying body parts. You’re paying a “recovery fee”.

    2. DOOMco

      It’s easier to a gun than body parts!

    3. RAHeinlein

      Now let’s see Reuters do that with Planned Parenthood…

    4. Heroic Mulatto

      “It’s like the Wild West,” McArthur said. “Anybody could have ordered these specimens and had them delivered to their home for whatever purpose they want.”

      OH MY GOD! ANY PURPOSE THEY WANT!!!!!

      1. Vhyrus

        No necrophilia links? You’re slipping HM.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          I refused to be stereotyped by you people.

        2. Playa Manhattan

          It was strongly implied.

          1. Vhyrus

            Strong implications cannot get me fired. I expect more of our moorish allies!

    1. Bobarian LMD

      Where’s the GoFundMe site for that movie?

  33. invisible finger

    Illinois Democrats want to JAIL people proposing “right to work” laws.

    http://www.dailyherald.com/news/20171025/rauners-veto-of-pro-union-legislation-survives-override-attempt

    1. Vhyrus

      That’s some pretty spicy TDS that man has.

    1. Vhyrus

      The top reply is delicious

      EducatédHillbilly™‏ @RobProvince 5m5 minutes ago
      More
      Replying to @iowahawkblog
      *record scratch…. Yep that’s me. You may be wondering how I got here.

      1. Michael

        This reply to the original tweet cracked me up:

        https://twitter.com/BayleeB79/status/821960047915888640

    2. AlmightyJB

      “Donald had long hair at that age”

    3. mexican sharpshooter

      Jeremy Kolassa‏ @JDKolassa · 10m10 minutes ago
      Replying to @iowahawkblog @hayesy316
      She could’ve meant president of Costco, you don’t know that.

      Hell no, she’d fuck up Costco.

    4. Suthenboy

      Aside from The Goracle has anyone else ever taken a loss as badly as Hildebeast? The humiliation of this will stay forever. She is planning on running again. She cant get elected dog catcher in Roosterpoot but I think she is convinced she is owed the office.

  34. Count Potato

    “Natassia Malthe says Harvey Weinstein raped her without a condom after bursting into her hotel and at a later meeting asked her to join in threesome after ‘assistant’ started giving him oral sex”

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5017777/Actress-Natassia-Malthe-says-Harvey-Weinstein-raped-her.html

    This is what I think happened. An actress woman ran into STEVE SMITH in the Hollywood hills. She got pregnant. Then left the baby in a basket on the Weinstein’s porch. Since it reminded them of Moses, they decided to keep the baby, and raise him as their own.

    1. robc

      who has a later meeting with their rapist?

      1. Suthenboy

        I think a lot of these women think they have won the lottery.

      2. It’s spelled T-H-E-R-A-P-I-S-T.

      3. Brett L

        Women raped by police?

    2. Ken Shultz

      I have a hard believing anybody, anymore, who has Gloria Allred as their attorney.

      ENB did a story on a lady who was accusing Trump of sexually assaulting her. A little digging found that 1) the “sexual assault” in question was being kissed hello on the cheek without permission and 2) the accuser in question was a pr0n star who made both gang bang and bukkake videos. Of course, it’s possible to sexually assault a pr0n star like that, but maybe not by kissing her on the cheek. Show a jury a couple of those videos, and then convince them that she deserves damages from Trump for kissing her on the cheek?!

      She was being represented by Glora Allred. Making easy claims with trumped up stories (NPI) seems to be her MO.

      Meanwhile, you think Harvey Weinstein can get a fair trial at this point? All it takes is a preponderance of the evidence and simple majority of the jury. Any woman who can document being alone with Harvey can pocket an easy million by saying something that no one can prove was a lie at this point. Any woman that can prove she was alone with him and isn’t cashing in is only doing so because she’s either stupid or has morals.

  35. Troy

    Re open borders

    I no longer advocate open borders. Why? Because I dont want stupid savages like these anywhere near my country…what is left of it anyway. Humans are not fungible. The whole point of being a nation is telling certain people, “you, stay the fuck over there”

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5009691/Doctors-accused-vampires-attacked-Malawi.html

    1. Vhyrus

      This is what happens to a disarmed populace.

    2. Suthenboy

      Africa is chock full of that kind of behavior. Then again so most of the world outside western developed nations. ‘Witches’ are lynched all over world and not just a few of them. Apparently vampires too. Basic knowledge of sanitation is unknown in lots of places.

      People here have no idea how good they have it. Yes, open borders would be taking a giant shit on what we have here.

    3. Juvenile Bluster

      I’m not open borders, but I’m still in favor of saying “You can come in if you want to, but we’re doing a background check going back to your infancy before we even think of letting you in and you don’t get a cent of public welfare money.

      Everyone would probably hate that.

      1. Rope Snake

        we’re doing a background check going back to your infancy before we even think of letting you in

        And it’ll only take 20 years!

      2. Suthenboy

        Me too. There are a lot of good people out there who would be a definite plus for us to have as fellow citizens. Yeah, we need to know which ones they are.

        1. Troy

          Absolutely. But I want neurosurgeons and engineers and, preferably, hot women with nice tits. Not some savage squeezing a goats testicles to cure his cold

      3. Troy

        And have a return ticket home.

    4. Count Potato

      I was going to write, “Malawians are the Romanians of African people”. But now I just feel bad.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malawi

      Their per capita GDP is $900, and 70% of Malawi’s hospital beds are occupied by HIV/AIDS patients.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      Khloe is the transgender one, right?

      1. Diane Reynolds

        Take that back.

    2. Rope Snake

      If their baby daddies are actually black, ’tain’t even a metaphor.

    1. Vhyrus

      I went into the wrong damn business.

    2. Rope Snake

      I want Emma Stone and Cillian Murphy to spawn a baby, just to see what kind of freak they’d produce.

  36. Speaking of kiddos, the Paddock family is really working hard at notoriety. The Vegas shooter’s brother is in the OMWC way currently having been arrested during an investigation of consumers of adult content featuring child actors.

    Not to go full on Alex Jones, but am I the only one who when reading that was thinking about Russia’s habit planting kiddie porn on critics of the state?

    1. Suthenboy

      No, you aren’t. As Vhrus said earlier, everything about this stinks on ice.

    2. Rope Snake

      Here’s the page archived: http://archive.is/oqO8p

      The pissgate purveyors should’ve tried the kiddie porn accusation against Trump. No one cares about golden showers.

  37. Diane Reynolds

    I posted this link on Reason earlier, wanted the Glib hot take.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSi3S3T8GEw&t=33s

    My initial thought was “this will cause progressive heads to explode” but I have to admit, my own head started to explode.

    MAGA hat-wearing black man and hispanic LA residents rail against illegal immigration.

    1. Rope Snake

      “this will cause progressive heads to explode”

      That would imply consistent standards. And that they’d actually see this.

      I mean, they’d explode because ‘TRUMP PARAPHERNALIA’—but not because this showing conflicts with their worldview.

      Anyway. These people are minorities (they’re in the minority of minorities, I mean!). They’re just nihilists, man.

    2. Suthenboy

      Nobody hates illegal immigration more than immigrants who have come here and made a real life.

      1. Troy

        And paid the full price to do it legally by hiring vampires… Er I mean hiring lawyers. Fwiw, I have no beef with legals

    3. Progressivism is incredibly patronizing to minorities, so my guess it they’ll respond by just saying they’re too stupid to know better and it’s the duty of the righteous to educate them on the right way to think.

    4. Gilmore

      It shocks liberals to learn that poor people are often both a)nationalistic and b) concerned that tax money is often wasted.

      i also think the idea that democrats have – namely that minority groups will ALWAYS AND FOREVER buy their race-pandering horseshit? – will eventually bite them in the ass. the fact that progs are so keen to go farther leftward is a sign that more blacks will likely show up on Team Red.

      1. Rope Snake

        ALWAYS AND FOREVER

        So lithe

    5. Ken Shultz

      Honestly, that’s not surprising to me.

      You may remember that Trump took a surprisingly large chunk of the Hispanic vote in the Nevada primaries, early, which everyone thought was nuts at the time.

      “One of the most surprising aspects of Trump’s win was that entrance polls showed he was winning among Latino GOP caucus-goers even though he has campaigned on a hard-line immigration platform, including building a wall along the U.S.-Mexico border.

      Entrance polls indicated Latino caucusgoers made up 8% of the GOP electorate and 45% of them planned to back Trump. Historically, however, entrance and exit polls have not proved to be a reliable measure when it comes to the preferences of minority voters, particularly when the sample size was as small as it was in Nevada.

      Still, Trump noted his showing among Latino Republicans in his victory speech: “Number one with Hispanics… I’m really happy about that,” he said.”

      —-CNN

      February 24, 2016

      http://www.cnn.com/2016/02/23/politics/nevada-republican-caucus-results/index.html

      When you’re talking about the blue collar, middle class in this country, you’re talking more and more about Latinos, especially Mexicans and central Americans. The realization might make progressive heads explode–that as America becomes more Latino, Latinos become more American. Don’t these people know they’re not supposed to think like other Americans?!

      Also, blacks have long recognized that the jobs illegal immigrants are taking are jobs that might go to African-Americans otherwise. Tensions between blacks and Latinos have been an issue in LA for decades.

      The Democrat coalition is a bizarre patchwork of conflicting interests–certainly in California–and it isn’t just blacks vs. illegal alien advocates. It’s also agriculture vs. environmentalists. Gay rights people vs. Mexican Catholics, etc.

      1. Count Potato

        “Still, Trump noted his showing among Latino Republicans in his victory speech: “Number one with Hispanics… I’m really happy about that,” he said.”

        Because those Hispanics convinced the Latinos?

        1. Ken Shultz

          Latino and Hispanic are used interchangeably by a lot of people, amirite?

          1. Count Potato

            Yes, but that doesn’t mean it makes sense.

          2. Ken Shultz

            I don’t get it.

            What doesn’t make sense?

          3. Count Potato

            People in Hispaniola who speak Spanish are Hispanic.

            People in Hispaniola who speak French are Black.

            People in Hispaniola who speak English are laundering money for the Clinton Foundation.

            (Trump probably says “Hispanic” because he is from NYC, which has many Hispanics, but few Latinos.)

          1. Count Potato

            Latinos are from Italy?

          2. Heroic Mulatto

            Well, that’s where Latina is, no?

          3. Count Potato

            Exactly, the conquistadors didn’t arrive until after World War II.

          4. kbolino

            “Is a website with styling circa 1995 not enough to properly educate the world on your particular brand of crazy? Then this shirt is just for you!”

  38. commodious spittoon

    I noticed the family-friendly graphic disappeared. Did we shit things up around here?

    1. Vhyrus

      I can still see it. Maybe you shit things up on your end.

      1. I don’t see it either, and as far as I know didn’t change any settings.

        1. Update: Chrome on my smartphone shows the family-friendly graphic; Firefox on my Linux box doesn’t.

    2. Nope. I blame Manly Mondays getting dropped personally.

      1. Rope Snake

        The penis is evil!

      2. jesse.in.mb

        I’m sorry! I’m just really lazy.

        1. You’re at least neat, right? I mean, I have stereotypes I have to be able to resort to with certain groups of people.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            I think that depends very heavily on perspective. I’m MUCH neater than my heterosexual roommate but not nearly as neat as my boyfriend.

            I am trying to be better though.

          2. DOOMco

            compared to these, we are all NEET neat.

            not convinced.

          3. jesse.in.mb

            Those pics make me anxious. I got called in to help clean when my addict sister’s boyfriend died and she was moving out of their shared apartment. It was like those pics but with used needles everywhere.

          4. kbolino

            The bag in the filthy trashcan is a nice touch. Because the last thing you want to do is get the inside of the trashcan dirty.

          5. commodious spittoon

            Man or woman? ‘Cuz my brother was a slob but also too lazy to cause too much trouble, but my neat-freak SIL nonetheless creates superfund messes in the common areas and then bitches about nonstop having to clean it up.

          6. Rope Snake

            I remember Jesse complaining about his female roommate letting dishes pile up in the sink.

          7. jesse.in.mb

            Woman roommate. She’s not messy per se, but she has a much higher threshold for mess. She doesn’t cook often, but she’ll make a quesadilla or something, leave the pan on the stove covered with now dry cheese and the plate in the sink without water on it for days (unless I clean it up in the meantime). I’ll make an elaborate meal, but rarely will I go to bed without doing the dishes and wiping down the counters.

            (Holy crap commenting from a phone is unfun)

  39. Count Potato

    Professor: ‘Mathematics Itself Operates as Whiteness’

    http://www.nationalreview.com/article/453106/math-racist-university-illinois-professor

    1. Suthenboy

      I am sure Rochelle would rather have machete wielding mobs chase her around because they think she is a vampire. Who needs education when you can have that?

      1. Troy

        When I cross interstate bridges, I welcome the fact that it wasnt built by a diverse comittee of SJWs.

    2. AlmightyJB

      In a sane world that “professor” would be doing some manual job that involved not talking

      1. some manual job that involved not talking
        You say that like it’s a bad thing.Fuck, that’s been my dream for nigh on thirty years. Leave me alone and let me get some shit done.

        1. AlmightyJB

          Lol. I hear you. I’m not much of a taller either. I’m just trying to find a job for her where she won’t kill someone or make them wish they were dead:)

        2. Akira

          When I worked at this auto parts plant, I had a job where I just ran a machine all by myself, and it was extremely easy. There were people around running other machines, but I didn’t have to talk to anyone if I didn’t want to. Each employee got regular raises and “topped out” after about 3 years; top-out pay was actually pretty fucking good for a job that requires no credentials whatsoever, and the health insurance was top-notch.

          I used to get a TON of thinking done, mostly on political issues since I’d read Herbert Spencer e-books or The Other Site on my breaks. I eventually decided that I want to do something other than factory work for the rest of my life, and I’m in a decent job now in the healthcare industry. But sometimes I miss the days when I would just do mindless work for 8 hours a day and go home.

  40. Diane Reynolds

    Actual good clickbait.

    9 Photos Of Oppressed People With Striking Eyes That Will Change Your Perspective On Something Or Other

    http://www.clickhole.com/article/9-photos-oppressed-people-striking-eyes-will-chang-1360?utm_content=Main&utm_campaign=SF&utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing

    1. Rope Snake

      #6, an old, probably-straight white man—oppressed? Deplorable.

    2. BakedPenguin

      Surprised they didn’t include this one.

  41. Count Potato

    http://news.gallup.com/poll/221018/record-high-support-legalizing-marijuana.aspx

    I was going to tally the data, then I got record-high.

  42. Diane Reynolds

    200 ACLU’s staffers sign open letter criticizing ACLU’s absolutist view on free speech, says it undermines “racial justice”.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/04/us/aclu-charlottesville-white-supremacists.html?smid=tw-share

    “Our broader mission — which includes advancing the racial justice guarantees in the Constitution and elsewhere, not just the First Amendment — continues to be undermined by our rigid stance,” says the letter, which a former member of the A.C.L.U.’s board, Michael Meyers, provided to The Times. About 200 staff members — the A.C.L.U. has about 1,300 full-time employees — signed onto the letter, according to a spokeswoman.

    1. Suthenboy

      Huh. Former counsel for the Communist party usa hates armed people and people who can speak their minds. I’m shocked.

    2. “So some former staffers wrote an open letter?”

      My response, if I were heading the ACLU.

    3. kbolino

      “advancing the racial justice guarantees in the Constitution”

      The 13th Amendment needs further advancement? Is there an enclave of the Confederacy somewhere?

  43. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Good o’le Razorfist on Jeff Flake. I get the impression he doesn’t like the guy.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIzps759Ago

    1. Vhyrus

      The most interesting thing about all of this was response from the California DNC.

      https://twitter.com/CA_Dem/status/922902825847291904

      CA Democratic Party Verified account
      @CA_Dem

      Breaking–AZ Senator Jeff Flake is retiring! This is huge, we have a great shot at winning his seat. Lets get ready to help AZ Dems win!

      You really do want us to shoot you all, don’t you?

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Any money spent there by the Dems would be pissing their money down a black hole so I welcome it.

      2. mexican sharpshooter

        And they say people from CA aren’t out to change other states.

    2. Hyperion

      AZ has a spectacularly bad record of turning out truly awful GOP congress critters. I would enjoy being the one to push the button if they ever decide to tie Flake and McCain to a rocket and shoot them into the sun.

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        C’mon Carl Hayden wasn’t that bad was he? (I honestly have no idea)

  44. commodious spittoon

    CNN treated to wholly predictable parody of its eyerolly “This is an apple” advert.

    1. commodious spittoon
    2. Suthenboy

      The propagandists haven’t converted anyone over to their side. I dont know who they think they are fooling. Anyone over 12 with a brain has watched them get caught lying over and over again and can see right through their bullshit. The only people buying it are the ones already with them. It looks like a giant waste of time to me. I am reminded the way Soviet citizens regarded Pravda.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Facts first:
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15ZTiAf8fp8
        Sure CNN, sure.

        1. DOOMco

          that was the first thing in my head.

          it’s more like a paper bag they say has an apple in it. We can’t look, just know that it’s totally an apple.

          1. Stinky Wizzleteats

            I’m not sure whether that was a true lie or if it was due to Cuomo’s rank stupidity. Definitely not a fact though.

      2. BakedPenguin

        There’s a joke from the Soviet times:

        “We have two newspapers; ‘Truth’ (Pravda) and ‘News’ (Izvestia). There’s no news in ‘Truth’, and no truth in ‘News’.”

    3. Rope Snake

      “Some people might try to tell you it’s a banana.”

      Well maybe they just redefined it as something counterintuitive and other than the common understanding of it? So now it can’t be an apple, because apples are attached to apple trees. Your examples of communism can’t be communism, because communism entails perfect equality of condition. You can’t be racist toward white people, because white people have power by virtue of being white. Hate speech is violence, not free speech: See, it’s called something completely different!

      1. commodious spittoon

        Your examples of communism can’t be communism, because communism entails perfect equality of condition.

        By the by, I’m fostering a burning hatred for that argument and seething contempt for the people who use it. Listen, fuckwit, here’s the problem with your moronic response: any way it ends up, Communism requires fundamentally restructuring the societies it ruins. You cannot vote your way into Communism, it must be imposed. As such, whatever your no-doubt sterling intentions, you start off by tearing apart the social order. You cannot have an independent judiciary, or police responsive to the citizens, or citizens who respect even the most basic laws which you’re laboring to upend, and you certainly cannot keep your executives constrained by your paper constitution. Everything that made your nation peaceful and prosperous is gone, and everything which made it violent and corrupt is intensified. So don’t tell me that all of the would-be Communist shitholes aren’t representative of “real” Communism, because they all took the first steps necessary to imposing the real deal. The problem isn’t that it was attempted poorly but that it was attempted at all.

        1. Suthenboy

          The whole point of cultural marxism is to turn people into robots that believe whatever they are told regardless of the evidence around them. Of course they are gonna say that up is down so there is no point in debating with them. It’s like talking to a schizophrenic who is trying to rationalize their delusions. No matter what logic you present them with they have an answer to it and the answers keep getting more and more bizarre. Or lies.

          Look at all the morons who cheered on Chavez in the beginning because now we are gonna see how it works when it is done right. Ooops. No, that wasn’t real communism either. Maybe next time on try number 857…

          1. Rope Snake

            This can’t be posted enough

            https://philpapers.org/archive/SHATVO-2.pdf

          2. Count Potato

            Saved.

    4. Vhyrus

      And of course Colbert goes the other way with it. Quadruple down progs, you’ll win eventually.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzhxjWRlCJA

      1. DOOMco

        I kept wondering when the funny part was supposed to happen?

      2. Rope Snake

        In the sidebar: “Jake Tapper Destroyed Bill O’Reilly on Twitter”

        *sigh* I don’t feel at home in this world anymore.

        Also, that bit was atrocious—almost laughable in its desperation. It wasn’t very long ago that Colbert’s writing was pretty good, even with its obvious political bent. Did he not bring over the writers from the Colbert Report, or have they just gotten that bad?

      3. Suthenboy

        I saw Jimmy Kimmel doing a bit like that a while back. Not one joke. Not one laugh. I didn’t even crack a smile. I dont think that Samatha Bee person has ever made anyone other than a laugh track laugh. What’s with all of the comedians being in the tank for the pinkos?

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          Not all…Bill Burr seems to be at least somewhat fair, Adam Carolla’s an alright guy, and Anthony Cumia and Jim Norton aren’t lefties. I’m afraid that’s about it though.

          1. Rope Snake

            Late night shows are where the tumor seems to be. They’ve really gone off a cliff. I wonder why.. It seemed to happen in 2016. What happened in 2016 that would’ve caused this?

            Ah yes, Garry Shandling died. (At least we still have Fats Waller.)

          2. Stinky Wizzleteats

            Has Conan gone over the cliff?

          3. Rope Snake

            Nah, although the current incarnation of his show is nothing compared to the prime of his Late Night show (yeah, yeah, I’m sure Letterman fans would scoff at the contention of it ever being good at all). I still like Conan, though.

            Bring Craig Ferguson back and he can be late night’s Jesus.

          4. Stinky Wizzleteats

            Conan without the Masturbating Bear or Pimpbot 3000 (he lost the rights to use those characters when the Tonight Show screwed him) just ain’t the real Conan.

          5. Vhyrus

            Conan was never very political, which was both his curse and his blessing.

        2. kbolino

          Bee could be funny on occasion, when she wasn’t so full of herself. But a lot of her shtick was “get person to say something that can be taken out of context and made fun of” which is pretty low-brow as far as humor goes, especially political humor.

          1. Rhywun

            She was reasonably funny on the Daily Show back in the day, when it wasn’t all politics, all the time and even the obviously anti-Bush slant was more gentle ribbing than vicious slurs and lies.

  45. Hyperion

    So I’ve been in my cave most of this past week and haven’t been keeping up with much news. Or links. Is Hillary in prison yet?

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Hilldawg? Guilty as sin and free as a bird unfortunately.

    2. Suthenboy

      Unfortunately she is over at Costco just outside the shitter hawking her book.
      It gives me a boner knowing that in a couple of decades no one will remember her name.

      1. commodious spittoon

        I’d much prefer she and her family are universally regarded like Nixon is today.

        1. Hyperion

          Hillary makes Nixon look like a saint.

          1. Suthenboy

            That’s no shit and you can toss Obama on that heap as well.

          2. Rope Snake

            Well yeah. She was a Goldwater girl 😉

      2. Count Potato

        That might be the first time Hillary has given anyone a boner.

        1. MikeS

          You mean other than Janet Reno?

    3. Rope Snake

      The prison of being trapped in the particular branch of the universe in which she’s not president and constantly losing power as everyone is increasingly tired of her shit and inability to win.

      At least there’s that.

      1. Hyperion

        I was just asking because there seems to be an outbreak of news lately that the Russian thing is backfiring on the Democrats and Hillary in what may soon become spectacular fashion.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          It doesn’t look good for her but I consulted my Magic 8 Ball on the prison question and it said “No damn way.”

          1. AlmightyJB

            Yeah, if the Clintons haven’t gone to prison by now, it’s never going to happen

          2. antisthenes

            I’m sure some people felt that way about Weinstein too.

  46. Heroic Mulatto

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Exactly

    2. Rope Snake

      thank mr skeltal?

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        Good bones and calcium to you too, friend.

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      New fetish?

      1. jesse.in.mb

        Sexy Skeletor was almost my Halloween costume, but the He-Man underoos were half as expensive.

        1. Rope Snake

          You’re going as He-Man?

          Oh, Jesse, honey. That’s so gay.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            Before I click, is that the What’s Going On? Video?

          2. Vhyrus

            Damn, I was gonna link that.

            *kicks pebble, slowly walks away.

          3. Rope Snake

            That… would’ve been better.

    4. Rufus the Monocled

      I don’t know why but I can’t stop giggling.

      1. MikeS

        Maybe if you worked you’d find something to do other than giggle.

    5. DOOMco

      Nyea?

    6. straffinrun

      Carville’s been working out.

      1. Rope Snake

        LOL

    7. quincy

      The blue guy is not tipping 15%.

    8. HM just saved a ton of money by switching to Geico?

      1. jesse.in.mb

        Well, I feel like I missed an opportunity for my costume this year.

        1. CPRM

          To be fair, that would be a couples costume, and judging by your ogling of lederhosen man, I take it that’s not the boat you’re in.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            BF ogled first, but BF also thinks couples costumes are ultra tacky.

          2. jesse.in.mb

            HAHA. That’s pretty great

  47. DEG

    I was drunk at Oktoberfest this weekend

    PROST!

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      SENNA!

  48. Diane Reynolds

    Huh, Shia Lebeouf did some kind of unintentionally hilarious anti-trump art project that kind of went awry with trolls and so they had to, uhm construct a wall to keep un-vetted people out.

      1. straffinrun

        The Asian kid wins. “He will come inside us.”

      2. Not Adahn

        Inspirational.

        It makes me proud to be an American

        *picture of an eagle*
        *red-tailed hawk scream*

    1. Rope Snake

      He’s unhinged, but still not as unhinged as Keith Olbermann.

      Degrees of TDS:
      1. The Other Site
      2. Colbert
      3. Cher
      4. Shia
      5. Olbermann

  49. Suthenboy

    My wife has been out of town for a week so I have had sweet relief from the sound of television. This is the first time I have turned it on since she left. What do I get? Apparently Hillary selling out the country is actually blowing up. First line I heard: “Everyone that knows her is running away as fast as they can.”

    I think I have some popcorn around here somewhere…

    1. Gustave Lytton

      I read the latest Wapo version. Apparently Fusion GPS was first paid by a primary opponent, then continued by Hillary/DNC, and finally by the FBI.

      If there was client confidentiality (as asserted in the article), how did each successive party know that there was a research effort to fund?

      And how does a supposedly private organization do any sort of non-skindeep investigation of anything other than by breaking the law by acquiring data from government intelligence sources or stealing private records? With the first, once again the deep state keeps letting the mask slip.

      1. Rhywun

        Yeah, one of the shitstain trolls at The Before Place was crowing about how the Republicans “started it” – completely oblivious to the fact that it doesn’t matter who started it.

      2. straffinrun

        I thought it was originally funded by a big RNC donor NeverTrumper. Do we have a name yet?

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Yeah, sorry I mistyped. Funded by a nameless GOP during the primary. I assumed it was an opponent.

        2. mexican sharpshooter

          I’m calling it now… ¡Jeb!

      3. one true athena

        According to the Mollie article linked above, that’s not quite the timeline. The Rep oppo piece was on Trump’s business dealings, it’s not related to FusionGPS or the dossier. It’s getting linked in because McCain handled the dossier later – but the ‘oppo research’ from the R’s is apparently something else. the dossier was begun by DNC/Hilldawg, as I understand it right now.

        1. Ken Shultz

          Convenient time for McCain to get a brain tumor.

          1. mexican sharpshooter

            In fairness, is there ever a convenient time for that?

          2. In McCain’s case, 60 years ago?

        2. Gustave Lytton

          https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/clinton-campaign-dnc-paid-for-research-that-led-to-russia-dossier/2017/10/24/226fabf0-b8e4-11e7-a908-a3470754bbb9_story.html?utm_term=.63a99972deee

          Wapo version:

          Elias and his law firm, Perkins Coie, retained the company in April 2016 on behalf of the Clinton campaign and the DNC. Before that agreement, Fusion GPS’s research into Trump was funded by an unknown Republican client during the GOP primary.

          The Clinton campaign and the DNC, through the law firm, continued to fund Fusion GPS’s research through the end of October 2016, days before Election Day.

          1. Count Potato

            “Before that agreement, Fusion GPS’s research into Trump was funded by an unknown Republican client during the GOP primary.”

            Yes, except that was a different project. Well, if you can believe any of these people.

          2. one true athena

            Funny how all these roads go through Fusion and they all just took the FIfth, and tried to block subpoena of their financial records.

  50. straffinrun

    I’ve seen Thaddeus Russell on The Rubin Report, Rogan’s show and the recent debate with Molyneux. He’s an interesting guy, but he’s also quite slimy at times, especially in his defense of Postmodernism. He seems to believe that Foucault’s big breakthrough is that there can be no absolute truth claims, yet if you point out the contradiction in that statement (as Molyneux does), he claims he’s simply being agnostic. Russell wants to push the “social construct” line regarding race and gender, saying the categories are simply man made. If you point out that methods of categorization rely on having functional common traits, he retreats back into “I’m just saying we need to doubt everything. You think we shouldn’t be skeptical?”.

    Sometimes his mask slips. He has said some methods of categorization, like traditional gender roles, are just too dangerous to allow to continue being used. You can’t lump all humans with cocks into one category of “male” because of….why? I really don’t get his point and his “I’m just sayin’ we should question stuff” routine is getting old.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      who’s the commentator that poopooed Russell back at the Other Site? Was that HM?

      1. straffinrun

        I’d love to read that thread. Anyone got a link to that?

        1. Gustave Lytton
          1. straffinrun

            Thanks. HM not a big Thad man, I gather.

          2. Heroic Mulatto

            Nope.

          3. Gustave Lytton

            More of a Thicc man.

    2. Suthenboy

      ““I’m just saying we need to doubt everything. You think we shouldn’t be skeptical?”.

      What he is describing there is an inability to learn. We dont need to reinvent the wheel or fire. Some things are tried and true. The old saying ‘keep an open mind but not so open that your brain falls out’ got to be old for a good reason.

      1. straffinrun

        Well said. Stand on the shoulders of giants and piss on their heads. He’ll say, “I operate like the world operates in a way that our current empirical knowledge suggests. I’m just not absolutely sure that we even exist.” After a while, it comes across as navel gazing.

    3. Rope Snake

      Foucault’s big breakthrough is that there can be no absolute truth claims

      Yeah, that was all Foucault.

      1. straffinrun

        I’ve never read Foucault and I’m sure I’m missing whatever genius insight he may have had. My frustration is that his fanboys can’t seem to articulate it either.

      2. Rope Snake

        At least the original Sophists had a sense of humor.

        Ostensibly Gorgias developed three sequential arguments: first, that nothing exists; second, that even if existence exists, it is inapprehensible to humans; and third, that even if existence is apprehensible, it certainly cannot be communicated or interpreted to one’s neighbors.

        I’d guess that Gorgias knew this was a paradox, and it’s a sort of koan. Postmodernists have this thought and think, Yes, this is the way! Let’s create new paradoxes to try to explain fundamental ones. Some things are fundamentally uncertain, so let’s just say that everything is! (Except this.)

    4. Gilmore

      Foucault’s big breakthrough is that there can be no absolute truth claims

      I always thought the epistemology thing was more Derrida + others in the post-structuralist camp. I always thought of Foucault (*i’m not like any expert, i read 2 of his books 20 years ago) are more of a ‘marxist historian’ who was interesting because he looked at the history of how power-relations functioned in various (sometimes weird) areas of society.

      (the ones i read being “Jail” (discipline + punish) and “sex” (history of sexuality)

      Stamford Encyclopedia of Philosophy

      Kant’s great epistemological innovation was to maintain that the same critique that revealed the limits of our knowing powers could also reveal necessary conditions for their exercise. What might have seemed just contingent features of human cognition (for example, the spatial and temporal character of its objects) turn out to be necessary truths. Foucault, however, suggests the need to invert this Kantian move. Rather than asking what, in the apparently contingent, is actually necessary, he suggests asking what, in the apparently necessary, might be contingent. The focus of his questioning is the modern human sciences (biological, psychological, social). These purport to offer universal scientific truths about human nature that are, in fact, often mere expressions of ethical and political commitments of a particular society. Foucault’s “critical philosophy” undermines such claims by exhibiting how they are just the outcome of contingent historical forces, and are not scientifically grounded truths

      I wouldn’t read that as suggesting you can’t make truth-claims; its that truth claims are always inextricably tied up in unique historical power relations. That doesn’t erase the entire concept of what is meant by “truth”, just qualifies it.

      1. straffinrun

        You may be right that it was Derrida. I really don’t want to read fucking Derrida or Foucault, so I’m just relying on their supporters to make a condensed case for me. I’m lazy.

        1. Suthenboy

          You are trapped inside your head. You cannot directly observe the world. You must observe it through biological machines that necessarily change information that comes into your head therefore you cannot know anything for certain.

          Like all horseshit there are bits of truth to that.

          What would directly observing the world be? What would that look like? It’s nonsense. Observing is using some device to gather information. There is no other way to do it without changing the definition of what observing means. Change the device and you change the nature of the information it gathers. Change the processing of that information and you change the conclusions drawn from it.

          I have to work with what I have got. I do know some things. I know what works and what fails. I know that bacon is delicious and shit tastes like shit. I look at the outcomes from past events and efforts and I see which worked and which failed. If I do certain things a chain of events follows which either reinforce or deter future repetitions of those actions. Ultimately what these guys are trying to do is convince people to stop using that metric and do things which result in failure. Guess what that might be…I can smell them a mile away.

          Living example: George Lakoff.

        2. Gilmore

          I really don’t want to read fucking Derrida or Foucault

          Yeah, well i had to read a stack of that shit. In terms of terrible-reading, Derrida was a million times worse than Foucault, who had a sense of humor, and at least picked interesting topics (prisons, sex, insanity, science).

          Discipline and Punish is a genuinely good book, worth reading, and has some very interesting insights about how the state would eventually employ ‘total surveillance’ as a means of control. If you can stomach the marxian jargon, its not all that bad.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            Discipline and Punish was where he introduced the old concrete idea of a Panopticon prison as a metaphor for the total state, no? I swear I had History of Sexuality on my desk for years, but I can’t remember if I read it now or not.

          2. Gilmore

            yes.

          3. jesse.in.mb

            D&P was certainly interesting, but some of my philosophy major friends would. not. stop.

          4. straffinrun

            Marx had some insights, too. It’s all opportunity cost for me. I don’t want to live in an echo chamber, but I don’t want to bash my head against a wall every day either. I’ll check it out if it winds up in my orbit.

      2. Rope Snake

        That doesn’t erase the entire concept of what is meant by “truth”, just qualifies it.

        Isn’t that consistent with saying one can’t (accurately) make absolute truth claims? Yet he’s making one from the start: namely that truth claims are subordinate to historical power dynamics.

        It’s self-undermining. He might’ve had interesting specific insights, but his attempts to generalize them seem pretty .. unsuccessful. But people can defer to the generality as if he supported it evidentially, whether or not he actually did.

        “Truth” is to be understood as a system of ordered procedures for the production, regulation, distribution, circulation and operation of statements. (Foucault 1972, 132)

        So why even call it “truth”?

        1. Gilmore

          Isn’t that consistent with saying one can’t (accurately) make absolute truth claims?

          yes. i don’t know the context russell said it in, or why he was claiming was some ‘big breakthrough’ because i think others had sort of made similar claims earlier.

          If you intend to take issue with his arguments, i think you’re better off reading him directly than dealing with my shitty paraphrase .

          1. Rope Snake

            I’m just shooting the shit

    5. Count Potato

      Well, race and gender are social constructs. It doesn’t mean that methods of categorization don’t rely on having functional common traits. It’s that the categories and the traits that decide them are agreed upon by society. Are asians only east asians or anyone from asia? Is Sammy Sosa black or hispanic? Is there even such a thing as hispanic or are they all latino? There have been serious attempts in good faith that have concluded there are three races, four races, five races, etc.

      While I haven’t read Foucault in ages. As far as I remember, he didn’t write that no one can claim an absolute truth, but that societies decide which truths to value (to the extent there are “subjugated knowledges”). In deciding Sammy Sosa’s “identity”, which is more valued? His color or his language and culture? You might not think the answer depends on your society or individual intuition, but rather the way things objectively are.

      http://lesswrong.com/lw/no/how_an_algorithm_feels_from_inside/

      1. Rope Snake

        +1

  51. Rhywun

    “Some viewers might be aware of the pride flags burned up and down Park Avenue,” Allen said. ” A few days after that, a KKK sign was found along the inner loop.”

    As this is my home town, I’ll field this derp:

    Bullshit. Park Avenue is the hip, woke part of the city. The Inner Loop is a downtown expressway – nobody’s erecting KKK signs there.

    1. Suthenboy

      Have there been any actually instances of poop swastikas or have they all been trolls and false flags? I am in the heart of Louisiana and nobody puts up KKK signs. I dont know that they still exist. If they did this would be the place to find them.

    2. commodious spittoon

      These cretins don’t even need to concoct these horseshit stunts to prove there exist real, living white supremacists in this day and age: the retards are obliging enough and dumb enough to go stage parades where they can be outed, scorned, and attacked. So whenever one of these alleged hate crime incidents is found to be a hoax, it makes me think the former aren’t as concerned as they pretend to be about the latter.

    3. jesse.in.mb

      I think you’re missing the important bit of local news here: 20-something gay and trans folk are tromping down to itty bitty sleepy Victor for their gun clubbing.

      Unrelated: I’ve been to Victor three times this year and still haven’t been to either of the breweries there. Tangentially related to that, totally adorable Nedloh Brewing is closing up shop at the end of the month and I’ll never get a RealTree brewery cap now.

      1. Q Continuum

        As long as their new found enthusiasm for 2A sticks around once a Dem gets back in the White House I’m cool with it.

      2. Rhywun

        Meh, it’s just a satellite town of Rochester. They have a major mall ‘n’ shit. It’s probably the closest to the city you’ll find any sort of gun clubbing at all.

  52. Suthenboy

    Wow. I just heard the words ‘possibly treason’ and the phrase ‘sold out her country’s security for cash’. Hannity foaming at the mouth again. I cant stand that guy but I dont trust any of the other networks. I will switch over to CNN and see if they are running a story on puppies or having better sex.

    1. Suthenboy

      Rachel Maddow, a story on Lee Harvey Oswald and Trump’s accusation of Old Man Cruz.

      1. commodious spittoon

        I expect they’ll stay silent on the issue until Mueller indicts Stone or Manafort or Kushner for misremembering a trivial date from three years prior.

        1. Q Continuum

          If it was for that incident with his secretary at the New Year’s party in 2010, he apologized and apologized! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?!?!

        2. Suthenboy

          The name I am hearing is Comey and that someone has to go to jail.

      2. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Try some of the newsies on YouTube, far more trustworthy and insightful than the big networks.

        1. Suthenboy

          I find too many of those guys just like hearing the sound of their own voice. I cant sit thrgou ten minutes of them flapping their gums before they make a point.

    2. Q Continuum

      Switch “her” to “his” in the selling out security bit and you’ll have CNN.

    3. AlmightyJB

      I can’t watch any of the cable news channels. They’re like 2 year olds. I’ll hit up a few of their web sites to see if anything interesting going on. That way I can get in and get out. I’ll usually check BBC news and check their America/Canada section, Fox news, and CNN which now is 90% Trump is a poopyhead but I at least want to see the stories Fox isn’t covering.

  53. Q Continuum

    So no one else is watching the MLS playoffs? No one? Fine.

    *takes another shot to stave off the looming void*

    1. Rhywun

      Yes, flipping between that and Sabres/Blue Jackets. As an NYCFC and Sabres fan…. well, it’s not pretty.

      1. Q Continuum

        Score! Not the only one!

        I made a conscious decision back in ’96 when the league started that I was going to make an effort to support the league no matter what. The first 10 years weren’t pretty but I’ve actually gotten quite proud of how the league has improved in the past 5+ years.

        1. Rhywun

          I have to admit I do find it difficult to muster any enthusiasm for matches that don’t involve local teams. If Red Bulls and NYCFC weren’t involved in the playoffs I probably wouldn’t even watch them.

          1. Q Continuum

            I try to watch as much as I can; in spite of the fact that the Rapids were the second worst team in the league this year (nyah nyah Galaxy). NYCFC has a good shot at the championship, I think Toronto is gonna blow it.

          2. Q Continuum

            And NYRB ices it.

          3. Rhywun

            I thought it would lead to another City/Red Bulls derby but I now I’m hearing otherwise. I would love another chance to stuff it to the Red Bulls.

          4. Q Continuum

            Is NYCFC gonna get a soccer specific stadium? I know they really want it somewhere in the 5 boroughs but real estate is so expensive I don’t know where they’d put it.

          5. Rhywun

            I think the bigger issue is NIMBYism. There are plenty of sites in the outer boroughs that could be reasonably affordable but every fucking idea is shot down by the anti-everything crowd. The latest idea I heard was a site at Belmont, which is only accessible by car or the Long Island Rail Road – yay. If it was baseball they’d fucking knock down their grandma’s house.

          6. Rhywun

            Also happy to see LA go tits-up.

            I think Toronto is gonna blow it.

            God, I hope so. Smug pricks.

        2. You wouldn’t know by the shit they’ve been sending to the MNT.

    2. AlmightyJB

      I pretty much have to be stranded somewhere or stuck at home with family to watch soccer, hockey, or baseball. I don’t have the attention span for them. Baseball is about the only one of the three that I can even get interested in. Too much running around back and forth.

    3. Ken Shultz

      I’m not a big fan of soccer, really, but I’ve always been . . . um . . . enchanted with hooliganism since forever.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnMWvy0oCMg

      . . . maybe we need hooliganism in American culture now more than ever, what with the wussfication of our culture.

      I got into a verbal altercation last week that I thought was promising to become more. The guy starts yelling, “You’re being aggressive! You’re being aggressive! You’re being aggressive!” like over and over and over and over again.

      “Fuck you, pussy. You’re such a pussy, I can call you a pussy to your face in front of your girlfriend, too, and you’re too much of a pussy to do anything about it, aren’t you, pussy?”

      “You’re being aggressive! You’re being aggressive! You’re being aggressive!”

      It reminded me of the end of “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”, when you realize that the guys you’re hoping to save America–have all been replaced by anti-human aliens.

      1. Suthenboy

        Ken, dude. All you have to do is lay one finger on someone and they can end up with your bank account and everything you own for the rest of your life. Either that or end up with a hole in you. You oughta get over that enchantment.

        I knew a mine manager once who pissed off one of the hands who was then dumb enough to take a swing. The punch barely brushed the end of the manager’s nose but when the manager showed in court he was wearing a neck brace. The manager ended up with a lien on the guys house.

        1. Ken Shultz

          I was begging him to hit me.

          Just take a swing.

          Begging.

          At that point, it’s no longer about getting sued.

          Just hit me once, and I’ll take care of the rest.

          P.S. In some jurisdictions, inviting someone out into the parking lot is considered consent. My understanding is that’s the way it is in Vegas.

          P.P.S. Without getting into too much detail, this jackhole was shitting all over me and everyone else around us at the time. I asked him to stop. He said “no”. I said, “No, I’m not going to wait for you to finish shitting on me. You’re going to stop right now”. All of that was paraphrased.

          P.P.P.S I think it’s like a con man’s mind–they think everyone is trying to rip them off. A wuss thinks everyone will accept being shit on–and won’t stand up for themselves–because they’re wusses and that’s what wusses do.

      2. AlmightyJB

        I had watched this episode of “Hate Thy Neighbor” about these Ukranian football firms that have formed into paramilitary groups fighting Russian separatist. They coordinate with the army but operate fairly independently. It was very interesting actually.

        https://youtu.be/6dfMYTl_Fkc

        1. Ken Shultz

          Yeah, and they’re mostly just getting drunk with their mates on the weekend and looking for other crews to fight.

          They’re generally not attacking non-combatants. All sides are spoiling for a fight.

      3. Playa Manhattan

        You should avoid Chipotle in the future.

        1. Ken Shultz

          No Chipotle was harmed in the . . . um . . . discussion.

    4. A league that plays through the international break is a joke.

  54. Rope Snake

    Is “Jeffrey” good? What’s the best homo film? “My Beautiful Laundrette”? “Maurice”? “Weekend”? “Beautiful Thing”? “My Own Private Idaho”? “Happy Together”? Some Gregg Araki clusterfuck? The one with the salad? That one that just won the Best Picture Oscar? (Fictional. No “Paris Is Burning”)

    1. Gilmore

      What’s the best homo film?

      Top Gun

      1. Count Potato

        Top Gun is the correct answer. Although Gregg Araki’s Nowhere and Kaboom are great, but not that gay because they have hot chicks.

    2. AlmightyJB

      Death Wish 3

    3. Rhywun

      “My Beautiful Laundrette” is great. Unlike any of the preachy American crap that came later. “Parting Glances” is an American effort from the same era and is great for the same reason.

      Gregg Araki’s “heterosexual film” The Doom Generation is better than the earlier “gay” films, but it’s not for everyone.

    4. jesse.in.mb

      I haven’t even seen all of those. I get weepy at the end of Beautiful Thing (don’t tell anyone else I said that), and I really enjoyed Jeffrey when I first saw it, and my formative years were spent around the Santa Cruz AIDS Project, so I kind of identified with Jeffrey’s predicament when I first saw it. I don’t think it holds up well as anything other than a campy attempt to work through a particular cultural moment. I liked the novel Maurice more than I liked the movie, although it’s fine enough. It’s actually one of the books that stayed on my shelves when I recently discarded a few hundred books.

      I’m curious to see Call Me By Your Name. I read the book a decade ago and enjoyed it immensely (although some of that was because it reminded me of my first romance).

      1. Rope Snake

        Call Me By Your Name

        Damn, that’s quite the acclaim.

        When I googled it, this headline popped up: “‘Call Me By Your Name’ Director Defends the Film’s Lack of Full Frontal Nudity”

    5. grrizzly

      Happy Together and My Own Private Idaho are probably my two favorite gay movies. Some time ago I noticed that both of my overall favorite movies, In the Mood for Love and Lust Caution, were made by the directors who had just made critically-acclaimed gay movies, Happy Together and The Brokeback Mountain, respectively. It feels that it’s easier for straight filmmakers to make a movie dealing with the issues that are not foreign to them, even if they are as talented as Wong Kar-wai, Ang Lee or Tony Leung. Not surprising.

      1. Rope Snake

        You romantic, you

    6. Not Adahn

      Nobody loves “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert?”

  55. Juvenile Bluster

    Fuck the Dodgers. Except for the GOAT, Chase Utley. But fuck the rest of the Dodgers.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      y u mad bro?

    2. jesse.in.mb

      Chase Utley

      *Does GIS*

      Huh, would not.

      1. Rope Snake

        Bigot of the beardless

        1. jesse.in.mb

          It’s more that he looks too much like a Palm Springs golf bro.

          1. Gilmore

            “”Palm Springs golf bro.””

            I was in palm springs for business once. Everyone seemed to be older than 70. the TSA workers at the airport (all fogies) got suspicious about me because (not kidding) “You have an irish name”. A group of ancient men brought me to an isolated room and had an equally ancient retired chicago cop “interrogate me”. Which consisted of asking me questions like a WWII sentry, like, “New Yorker, ey? Who’s the relief pitcher for the Yankees?” He wouldn’t let me leave even after he was sure I wasn’t a terrorist, i suspect because he was lonely and wanted someone to talk to.

            that wasn’t even the weirdest thing on that trip.

          2. Rope Snake

            Go on..

  56. commodious spittoon
    1. DOOMco

      *Adds gallon of Vaseline to bug out bag*

      1. CPRM

        Jesse can get you a good price on a barrel of lube, might work the same.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      They also always follow the same script:

      1. Double down, and when that doesn’t work
      2. Move on and pretend like they didn’t say anything wrong.

      Never an apology, never a “whoops, I fucked up”.

      (of course, that goes for most people politically. Except libertarians, because we’re perfect.)

      1. CPRM

        SCRIPT, YOU’VE TRIGGERED MY MANCHURIAN SCRIPTWRITER PROTOCOL:

        INT–LUXURY SUITE-THE MEADOWS—NIGHT

        The room is dark, illuminated only by the TV. HARVEY is sprawled on the velvet couch in front of the TV, his robe open, nothing underneath. He is sobbing and masturbating to the image on the screen. A pile of tissues on his lap, another to his right for the tears. The video on the screen is a security video of Harvey masturbating onto a plant.

        HARVEY
        Plastic, fucking plastic. Just like all those sluts. Made up to look perfect, then they call me a creep!?

        His motion grows faster. Tears roll down his cheek. Suddenly there is a noise. He stops masturbating, pauses the video and turns. Tears streaming down his face.

        HARVEY
        Who’s there? Huh, one of those paparazzi fucks?

        There is only silence. He un-pauses the video and resumes. A shadow emerges from the darkness behind him. The Emperor Palpatine-esque features of GEORGE’S face slowly emerge from the shadows. Harvey doesn’t notice him. George speaks in a thick Eastern European accent, pausing for deep breaths.

        GEORGE
        Have you learned your lesson Harvey?

        Harvey TURNS startled, sobbing.

        HARVEY
        George, I wasn’t expecting…Here, have a seat.

        Harvey tries to wipe a cum stain off the cushion next to him.

        GEORGE
        No thank you, I vill stand.

        HARVEY
        George, ya gotta know, I never touched them broads…well some of them. But mostly I just wanted them to wa…

        GEORGE
        Zat is not the issue. You botched ze Vegas job. Hillary vanted Micheal to do it. He vould have gotten zat fuel tank to explode. Zat fucker loves explosions. But, I vas sure you could handle it.

        HARVEY
        I…I…It was under control, then that damn security guard wandered on set. I…

        GEORGE
        Shh…I’m not blaming you. But you understand. Ve needed something to get the media to focus…elsewhere. After ze facts didn’t, what’s the saying? Add up.

        HARVEY
        But come on, I done some good work for you!

        GEORGE
        Stop masturbating damnit! Zis is important.

        Harvey closes his robe in shame and wipes his hand on the couch.

        HARVEY
        Come on. It woulda worked. You just didn’t have enough patience.

        GEORGE (lashing out)
        No. It was sloppy!
        (Composes himself)
        Now I have to double my funding efforts. All it managed to accomplish is some bullshit on bump-stocks. Who the hell even knew vhat a bump-stock was!? No, this vas supposed to be the nail in ze coffin. And you fucked up!

        HARVEY (sobbing)
        Please. You already ruined my career!

        GEORGE
        Hush now, it is ok. Just remember, zis was a light punishment. It can get much vorse.

        Harvey breaks down, an emotional mess. George adjusts his impeccable suit and walks out the door.

        EXT—THE MEADOWS-NIGHT

        George exits the main entrance. George meets KIETH at the limo, Kieth is rubbing his leg with excitement.

        KIETH
        Tingles! Tingles!
        (TO GEORGE)
        So, what should I do with him?

        GEORGE
        Kill him.

        George enters the limo and it drives off. Keith walks to the front entrance, dragging his leg and rubbing it, he pulls out a silenced pistol and enters the building.

        CUT TO

        TED, who has been watching from the bushes, he stealthily approaches the building.

        INT–LUXURY SUITE-THE MEADOWS—NIGHT

        Harvey is still masturbating to the video footage. Sobbing like a child. He is startled by gunfire and explosions in the hall. The door to the suite is blown off its hinges and Ted emerges from the smoke, wearing his cowboy hat and a sleeveless shirt, holding his compound bow, a gun on his hip.

        TED
        Get yer fuckin dick out of your hand and get moving. This is a God Damn rescue!

        Harvey grabs a tissue to wipe the tears away. He realizes it was from the wrong pile.

          1. Suthenboy

            TDS is going to push them full SJW.

        1. KSuellington

          You should be optioning this script.

          1. CPRM

            Just wait, the next two get better.

    2. Rope Snake

      Why do you hate your smart, well-educated superiors?

  57. KSuellington

    Beat LA.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      U 2 bro?

      1. KSuellington

        My one and only true sportsball team is the SF Giants. I hate Tommy Lasorda.

        1. KSuellington

          Great baseball game. That makes it more interesting anyway,

          I do like Vin Scully, how could you not, even as a Giants fan?

  58. This week’s review: Perfect Creature. Don’t get to see steampunk done very frequently, so it’s worth checking out – even if not perfect.

    Can’t wait to watch my new BR of “Mind Game” this weekend (as seen on twitter) – next review will be epic. Got a good lineup of other weirdness after this (need to get ahead of the review schedule game before next drill weekend and Thanksgiving).