Tuesday Afternoon Linky-Links

They be rapin’ all the robots up here! John Banzhaf and Congress will protect you, robot ladies.

Ever wonder how we are all going to die? NASA is sending Tweets into space. If there is anything that says more clearly “We’re morons, murder us and take our planet,” I’m not sure what it is. Maybe that gold LP we sent out into space with Voyager was worse, the one that tells intelligences cold and vast that “We have so much gold we just fling it into space!” and “We’re pathetic hispters who love records, please kill us and tentacle-molest our trilbys.”

 

I, a Fat, Beautiful Black Woman, Get Lots of Sex. Why Does That Bother You?

If you follow me on Twitter, then you know that I am sex-positive and discuss various topics related to sex all the time. It’s no secret that I am openly nonmonogamous, a believer in polyamory and a size queen with no gag reflex who loves a big dick.

The Prussian Blue Defense; or What? We paid these assholes $80,000,000?

The court rejected the psychologists’ arguments that they were not responsible for all of the CIA’s interrogation activities and had nothing to do with the interrogations of two of the men.

They also claimed they were not responsible for specific decisions to use so-called “enhanced interrogation techniques” in the specific cases of the three, but only broadly supplied the CIA with a list of methods to choose from.

Defending that act as legal, they cited a post-World War II war trial which cleared a technician involved in supplying poison Zyklon B gas to Nazi concentration camps of culpability in mass murder.

Election night rage-fuck makes evil infant

I also should have known right away that whatever was growing inside of me was no normal baby. Between the plague of Pepe frogs falling from the sky onto our roof, the small pack of rabid jackals who followed me everywhere and kept scaring off the visitors, and the two horns rooted in the skull of my fetus that we observed on the sonogram, something seemed…off.

Comments

503 responses to “Tuesday Afternoon Linky-Links”

    1. Just Say’n

      Also, I find these links disturbing

    2. Florida Man

      Brutal. She should delete her account.

      1. Just Say’n

        No way, she’s part of the woke libertarian brand. Viewing people as individuals is passe.

    3. John Titor

      We’ll have to throw ‘lack of self-awareness’ onto ENB’s negative character traits list.

      She ain’t living that one down for awhile at least.

      1. DOOMco

        It’s hilarious at this point.

    4. grrizzly

      ENB is a sexist pig.

    5. Rufus the Monocled

      FFS.

      She and Robby are one?

      1. Bobarian LMD

        FrootSooshi and SammichMaker?

    6. one true athena

      she needs some new friends that aren’t feminists.

      1. Just Say’n

        She needs to go away

        1. Is she sending you her tweets?

          1. Just Say’n

            Touche

    7. RAHeinlein

      Is she identifying as “liberal” now (or am I misreading the tweet)?

      1. John Titor

        No it’s just the typical dumb “conservatives are just as bad, if not worse than the left” talking point the Reason/CATO brand of cosmotarian like to throw out.

        1. The Reason/Cato cosmos seem to be so obsessed with being the moderate, “fiscal conservative, social liberal,” sane middle way that they have to signal that they don’t like conservatives and progressives in equal measure, which means they have to overcompensate on the conservative hate since the progressives are going full tilt political and economic Marxist and there is so much more to disagree with from them right now.

        2. Somalian Road Corporation

          Yeah, I’ve gotten thoroughly sick and tired of the false equivalences with the bike locks of peace, love and tolerance coming almost exclusively from one side in reality… but I guess “baiting and inciting” feelbad words are justified with physical violence according to another still-employed Reason writer, and antifa shrieking about “bash the fash” while openly calling anyone a hair’s breadth to the right of Pol Pot fascists, is just fine and dandy according to another, to be sure.

          1. John Titor

            The screeching and virtue signalling about how Milo was a horrible person despite never actually directly quoting or challenging anything he actually said is a pretty clear indicator that it’s more a reflexive handwave than anything based off of logic or argumentation.

          2. Bobarian LMD

            Not how you spell “baiting”

          3. Somalian Road Corporation

            While, yes, in a sense, you are absolutely correct, I’m also not subject to Twitter’s retarded character limits here and didn’t want to replicate them…

            … now that you’ve pointed it out, however, I agree, I think I should have just gone with the original “baiting n inciting” because it truly does add that extra bit of frisson from said derived Twitter retardation.

    8. Gilmore

      Chemjeff shows up in that thread to offer his special brand of rationalizing gibberish

      https://twitter.com/chemjeff/status/894983934261555200

      1. John Titor

        People constantly say he’s a troll, but I believe he’s honestly that stupid and tedious.

      2. trshmnstr

        I never could figure him out. He reminded me of Bo in the sense that he would be reasonably rational (if somewhat wrong about things) up to the point, and then would randomly go nuts in the middle of a conversation.

        1. trshmnstr

          a* point

        2. Gilmore

          I never could figure him out

          its not worth it.

        3. F. Stupidity Jr.

          For a good while I thought he was Cytotoxic slinking back under an alias with a new posting style, but the more I thought about it I realized there was no way Cytotoxic could give up boasting about how smart and right he was all the time.

          1. Rufus the Monocled

            How could you confuse him with Cytotoxic? Two completely different cats.

          2. F. Stupidity Jr.

            Some of the arguments he made at the time had a familiar ring. But the longer I looked, the less I saw.

        4. John Titor

          I’m going with shallow twentysomething with major ‘mommy and daddy Republican’ issues.

      3. I saw that hours ago. He left after I made a valid point.

      4. Playa Manhattan

        “it isn’t unreasonable to fire a guy who is poor fit”.

        Sorry, Kaepernick.

    9. The responses were just vicious.

      I lolled.

      1. Just Say’n

        Because her point was so blatantly hypocritical. It’s as if she really has no capability for self-reflection. Which I guess does make her your standard Leftist

    10. Suthenboy

      Again?

      Oh. Heh.

    11. bacon-magic

      I’m firewalled from the twitterverse. Inform meh please?

      1. Somalian Road Corporation

        That would generally be a blessing.

        @ENBrown: Again, conservatives manage to express their dissatisfaction with liberal overreaction by being 5x as melodramatic, whiny, & “triggered”

        @neontaster: You had a meltdown over a picture of a sandwich.

        The peanut gallery goes wild with sandwich gifs, a Jefferson quote and the like.

        1. F. Stupidity Jr.

          ENB has got to be kidding about conservative overreaction. Who’s got safe spaces? Who’s got trigger warnings? Who shuts down speech? Who thinks certain kinds of free speech ought to be criminalized?

          1. bacon-magic

            Sheep don’t joke.

          2. Rufus the Monocled

            It’s astonishing that they interpret conservatives defending themselves from the rabid insanity from the left on campuses as ‘whining’.

            Pisses me off really.

          3. John Titor

            Not to mention that the last major right-wing free speech problem, i.e. when those idiots interrupted the Julius Caesar Trump play, had a result where most of the conservative commentators called them out on it and thought they were being backwards morons. Even freaking Richard Spencer said they were full of shit.

            Meanwhile, leftists riot on campuses and the newspapers write “free speech is great but only free speech I like” articles. The comparison just isn’t there at present time. Maybe if they were arguing against conservatives in Britain.

          4. Just Say’n

            No, it’s not a fair comparison and the more cosmos make this disingenuous comparison, the more I sympathize with conservatives. Anyone who thought that the likes of CATO and Reason would defend free speech to the death are sorely mistaken. Cosmos fold like a house of cards when forced to back their principles- they’re a useless lot. I now believe that only the conservatives will defend free speech to the death. The massive sellout by cosmos is a major reason why I don’t call myself ‘libertarian’ anymore. Which is not to say I call myself conservative.

        2. bacon-magic

          Thanks S.R.C.!

    12. Gustave Lytton

      That Whitney Cool is pretty good, other than she’s obviously a sock. We all know there are no libertarian women.

      Whitney Cool @WhitCool88
      ·
      4h
      Replying to @neontaster and @ENBrown
      Sandwiches are very triggering to us women folk.

      1

      27

      Kelgair
      Kelgair @Kelgairz
      ·
      4h
      ?Yet you make them so good!

      1

      1

      11

      Whitney Cool
      Whitney Cool @WhitCool88
      ·
      4h
      I do make a pretty mean sandwich. I just wish I could stop breaking down every time I see a Subway. Tough out there.

      4

      1

      35

      ScarlettP
      ScarlettP @LadyPrusma
      ·
      2h
      Do you try to jump behind the counter, too?

      1

      2

      Whitney Cool
      Whitney Cool @WhitCool88
      ·
      2h
      Every. Time. It’s instinct.

    13. BigT

      ElizabethNolanBrown @ENBrown
      ·
      13h
      Again, conservatives manage to express their dissatisfaction with liberal overreaction by being 5x as melodramatic, whiny, & “triggered”

      ***
      Calling a spade a spade is whiny.

      Douche with sulfuric acid, cunt.

  1. Florida Man

    It’s no secret that I am openly nonmonogamous, a believer in polyamory and a size queen with no gag reflex who loves a big dick.

    Man, uou took that family friendly rating personally.

    1. Did you read his last link?! It is Female SugarFree!

      1. Florida Man

        I was too scared…

      2. westernsloper

        I did. Good god. That was some creepy shit there.

  2. John Titor

    To be fair, they’re only sending one Tweet into space, and it’s probably going to be some horseshit about peace and love and global brotherhood (oops, I mean sisterhood). When in reality we all know that what we should really be sending is a message begging Xenu for forgiveness.

    1. Just Say’n

      Xenu is one tax auditor you do not want to cross

    2. Brasidas

      Meh, it’s not powerful enough to be picked up by anyone that can’t already see us.

      Artic early warning radars on the other hand have been broadcasting “We have ballistic missiles” to half the galaxy.

      1. Florida Man

        That’s the message you want to send. Although nukes are probably tame to anything that can cross the galaxy.

      2. Gray Ghost

        I thought that inverse square law meant that any side lobes from those things were pretty much indistinguishable from background noise outside of something like 10 ly or so? Now, stuff like Arecibo deliberately shouting, “Here We Are!”, that’s different.

  3. Juvenile Bluster

    So who’s ready for war with North Korea?

    1. Just Say’n

      Brink Lindsey with the CATO Institute? I’m kidding, he’s down with all war

      1. Sour Kraut

        I thought he was a liberaltarian?

        1. Just Say’n

          Yeah, and just like a good liberaltarian he loves war! I dare you to find one conflict that he did not support

    2. Gray Ghost

      May not happen, if China really is cutting off oil shipments to them and conducting a trade embargo from them.

      Of course, we had the same bright idea, circa August of 1941

      Despite despising most of our interference around the globe, I’m not against doing something about North Korea. This’ll be the first time a psycho’s gotten nukes that can realistically hit the US. The problem is that all of the choices suck:
      1) Military regime change means that Seoul eats probably a 9/11’s worth of casualties and economic damage, before we/SK stomp and slime all of their HARTs, and that’s the good projection. Add about a couple of trillion dollars to their bill for full re-unification. That’s if China doesn’t decide to get pissy about it.
      2) Doing nothing means Un gets a survivable nuclear deterrent, which he will use on us and anyone else if he ever suffers an uprising. So we’ll have to keep him afloat for the foreseeable future. At a WAG, the cost we pay Israel/Egypt to play nice each year would probably do it. Plus, he’s going to sell the tech, and maybe even material, to anyone who’ll pay.
      3) Bribe the Chinese to take his ass out. Goodbye to ever getting their markets liberalized towards the U.S, stopping their rampant IP theft, or to their no longer threatening anyone near their eastern coast. Appears we may have chosen this one.

      1. Gray Ghost

        Good answer, good answer. I like the way you think.

        Over 30 years ago. Where does the time go?

    3. Gray Ghost

      Trump seems to be:

      “North Korea best not make any more threats to the United States. They will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen. He has been very threatening — beyond a normal statement — and as I said, they will be met with fire, fury and, frankly, power the likes of which the world has never seen before,” Trump said, referring to North Korean leader Kim Jong Un at an event this afternoon.

      Fire and fury. Well, shock and awe didn’t work, let’s try this.

    4. Gustave Lytton

      If WWIII kicks off while we’re visiting the Honshu Glass Parking Lot, could one of y’all pick up the dog from boarding? She’s a real sweetie.

  4. Jefe Hayek

    How America Lost Its Mind

    The smug is so strong I can barely finish it.

    I want to say that I’m not someone who reflexively thinks “blue-collar down to earth” people are somehow better moral or political compasses than coastal elites. Both are good and stupid when it comes to different aspects of the American experience. But when it comes to smugness, the coastal dipshits have a multi-lap lead.

    1. Just Say’n

      Remember when the Left use to like working class people? I guess one too many mis-gendering pronouns broke that alliance

      1. SugarFree

        They liked union votes, which is not exactly the same thing as working class people.

        1. Vhyrus

          You could argue that they were actually quite the opposite.

    2. By following the advice of SJWs?

    3. ChipsnSalsa

      STEVE SMITH DIDN’T WANT TO CAUSE PANIC, JUST WANTED RAPE

      1. SugarFree

        Hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ…

    4. Rufus the Monocled

      Cultural and moral relativism is a KOCK CONSPIRACY! WAKE UP!

    5. Spartan Dad

      I want to say that I’m not someone who reflexively thinks “blue-collar down to earth” people are somehow better moral or political compasses than coastal elites.

      I’m happy to make that claim. I’m not saying that rural blue-collars don’t have positions incompatible with liberty, of course they do. But overall, would absolutely prefer their moral and political compasses than Manhattan or LA elitists.

      Just anecdotally, I have family in the top 1% of the 1% living in Manhattan. Would prefer my UPS driver’s take on virtually every moral and political position, there’s no contest.

      1. trshmnstr

        They are imperfect, like any other group, but they tend to be more self sufficient, which means that liberty is less foreign to them than to some Manhattanite whose closest thing to self sufficiency is packing a picnic and taking it to central park.

        1. BigT

          …um, ordering a picnic and having it delivered in Central Park.

          Nigga, please…

      2. Jefe Hayek

        I’m not saying I wouldn’t lean that way, but I definitely do not want your average rural American’s idea of ideal government implemented, either.

        For all the shit we give SJWs for only worrying about “muh feelz”, that’s exactly how most people think. I’m from rural Kentucky and basically all of my friends and definitely all of my family fit that mold; and the number of outlandish conspiracy theories and contradictory opinions I hear is astounding. I also know that rural people can be just as condescending and aggressively stubborn as any woke gawkerite.

        1. Spartan Dad

          I would agree with all of this. To use Sloopy’s article from yesterday as a comparison though, I wouldn’t want Trump as president but I’ll take him hands down every time over Hilary if I can’t get Rand.

          One other point with blue-collar vs. elite is that the blue collar are more likely to actually feel the full impact of the State (e.g., policing, code violations). The elites are largely insulated from these things and can spend money to easily remove the issue when it comes up. I’ve mentioned having a couple neighbors/acquaintances who have fallen into this trap of suspended license violations because they can’t afford the initial 100 bucks. Can’t find work without driving either. It’s a vicious cycle for victimless crimes. They have become adamant against the police state.

          In contrast I had a friend in high school from a very wealthy family. He was arrested for a DUI hit and run while on probation for another DUI crash that injured several people. His lawyer paid the arresting officer not to show up on court day and the case was subsequently thrown out with all charges dropped. His family could care less about the police state as they aren’t affected by it.

          1. Jefe Hayek

            I think that, to an extent, is what we want to believe. Going back to my tongue-in-cheek “blue-collar down to earth” descriptor.

            It makes sense from at a thought experiment level that poor to working class people would be more anti-state because of the burden the have to carry because of its overreach. But in reality look where ALL of the Blue Lives Matter bullshit comes from. What are the likely demographics on people who think people deserve to be killed for non-violent offenses? What percentage of rural America would be perfectly fine with the Stasi busting down doors if it meant the heroin problem would be “solved”? In reality, even though they do bare an undue burden of the state, most are more than willing to try to co-opt that power for their own use rather than try to destroy it outright.

            Like I said, I definitely would rather be around rural people, by and large. But I do think a lot of their unsavory characteristics get overlooked or purposefully discounted (especially when it comes to Trump discussions) just because we see their counterparts on the coast as even worse. I just want to point out that I don’t think we really have to make that choice. Both can be good and bad in unique ways

          2. Jefe Hayek

            Also, I hope that didn’t come off as antagonistic.

          3. SP

            It sounded very family friendly to me, as do all things here on this Certified Family Friendly Website.

          4. Jefe Hayek

            Fuck
            Ass
            Motherfuck
            Inbred bitch
            Lesbo
            Yakov Smirnoff

            As you can see, I am all about family and the Family Friendly nature of this internet site

          5. Spartan Dad

            Not at all. This place would become a boring echo chamber if we all thought the same. Though I think we’re saying about the same thing anyways.

    6. wdalasio

      I think you’re about right here. The “blue-collar down to earth” people at least know they’re not the brightest lights under the sun. The coastal elites (actually cosmopolitans is a better term, because most aren’t particularly deserving of the term elite) have a habit of wildly overestimating their knowledge and sophistication.

  5. ChipsnSalsa

    from – Election night rage-fuck makes evil infant

    and a couple of minorities I raced to dance with whenever Beyoncé came on.

    who’s the fucking racist?

    1. Holy crap! That exact phrase is on my clipboard waiting to be pasted into a comment exactly like yours. Thanks for doing my work for me!

      1. ChipsnSalsa

        pay me

        1. AlexinCT

          I WANT MY $2 (two dollars)!

        2. Fuck off, slaver?

  6. Playa Manhattan

    “Defending that act as legal, they cited a post-World War II war trial which cleared a technician involved in supplying poison Zyklon B gas to Nazi concentration camps of culpability in mass murder.”

    The Nazi defense is going to play really well with the jury.

    1. Florida Man

      Anytime I hear Zyklon B I think of the army surplus guy in “Falling Down”. Also, wasn’t Zyklon B just an insecticide, so it’s possible the people selling it didn’t know what it was being used for?

      1. Negroni Please

        You can make Zyklon B in your tummy if you eat enough apricot kernals!

        1. Florida Man

          That’s very helpful. Thank you.

          1. Negroni Please

            Well excuuuuuuse me. I thought you might want to know that if you eat apricot seeds then you become a Nazi war criminal. #nazisciencefacts.

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        It’s questionable, but it’s pretty likely they knew what it was being sold for. The order slips (there was one in the Auschwitz museum when I went there) said they were for “Jewish resettlement”

      3. SugarFree

        By 1943, Tesch & Stabenow were selling it by the ton directly to the SS.

        The tech got off, but the owners of the company were executed.

        1. Florida Man

          The company sold Zyklon B to the Wehrmacht and the SS in Auschwitz-Birkenau without the odorant, clearly showing that it was intended for use on humans.

          Yup, they got what was coming. Which makes me wonder about the pharma companies that supply execution drugs to the government. Are they partial responsible for the deaths of those prisoners? I tend to think yes.

          1. SugarFree

            That’s why so many of them don’t make them any longer (or won’t sell them to the state prisons.) They don’t want an accessory charge in some distant future.

          2. Playa Manhattan

            Most pharmas control their own supply chain to prevent that.

            If you’re a prison, you can’t buy propofol.

          3. Florida Man

            I think Michael Jackson has some he’s not using…

      4. Playa Manhattan

        Officeress.

      5. Yusef drives a Kia

        Bayer sure did when they sold it

  7. KibbledKristen

    Anyone here know their Javascript? I need some help, and I’m not sure what keywords to use in Google to find the snippet I need.

    1. Google only lets you find woke Javascript.

    2. The Other Kevin

      I do, what do you need?

      1. KibbledKristen

        Sweet!

        I have a form with a Yes or No radio button. I want a JS alert if “No” is selected, and for the Submit button on the form to be non-clickable. If “Yes” is selected, then I guess nothing would happen as far as the JS is concerned, and they would just get to hit submit and go about the rest of their business.

        1. AlexinCT

          Look at the JQuery library where I believe that was already added?

        2. Caput Lupinum

          Here is a stack overflow article that should cover your case.

        3. The Other Kevin

          What Caput said. Just look up Radio Button OnChange event.

        4. KibbledKristen

          Thanks y’all! onChange was the wording I couldn’t think of to Google

      1. KibbledKristen

        Yeah, Stack Overflow. But my Googling hasn’t yielded what I’m looking for.

        1. Caput Lupinum

          Radio button input onchange HTML event handler

          Those terms should clear everything up for working with the radio button.

  8. The Late P Brooks

    Elon Musk, junk man

    The latest effective yield on single-B rated bonds maturing in seven to eight years, the class for a Tesla issue, is around 5.5 percent, according to Bank of America/Merrill Lynch Fixed Income Index data.

    Tesla’s bond will price later this week after several days of meetings with credit investors, who will weigh factors including the absence of a borrowing history, its lack of profit and its high cash-burn rate against its growth potential and its attractiveness as an environmentally friendly “green” issuer.

    A “junk bond” yields 5.5%? Thank, Ben and Janet! Your superlative stewardship of the economy is noted.

    1. Gilmore

      A “junk bond” yields 5.5%?

      2x the T-bill rate is about right.

  9. Florida Man

    So, as science fiction of the type depicted in HBO’s Westworld is rapidly becoming reality, these are just some of the legal concerns regarding the brave new world of robot sex, where the law may well have to play catch up, just as it did with artificial insemination, host mothers, drones, and other developments,” he wrote.

    I remember the drone wars of 2010. So many good men died. Luckily congress came with life saving regulations and we all thrived once again.

    1. Lackadaisical

      I love how ‘something bad might happen in the future’ has become the rationale for new regulations now. Literally none of the things they suggest regulating had a legitimate chance of going terribly wrong. They’re salivating at the chance that a drone operator will make a mistake though, despite there probably being millions of drones, and ~no serious incidents. I know firefighters/police keep complaining because every few months a drone will show up at a fire/crime scene to watch.

      1. mindyourbusiness

        Why do Precautionary Principle powered Zombies come to mind?

  10. Raven Nation

    “Maybe that gold LP we sent out into space with Voyager was worse, the one that tells intelligences cold and vast that “We have so much gold we just fling it into space!””

    Nah, the aliens already knew about it:

    http://xfacts.com/sumerian_culture.html

    “Sitchin propounds – proves, in the opinion of this author — that the Anunnaki…an advanced civilization from the tenth planet in our solar system, splashed down in the Persian gulf area around 432,000 years ago, colonized the planet, with the purpose of obtaining large quantities of gold.”

    1. John Titor

      While you were still learning to SPELL YOUR NAME, I was being trained to CONQUER GALAXIES!

    2. Which is cheaper – fusing lighter elements to make sufficient gold, or flying a few solar systems over to mine it?

      1. Florida Man

        It’s the 10th planet, so just a short ride.

        1. You expect me to read the comments now?

      2. Raven Nation

        Well, TBF, Planet X is actually in our solar system, it’s just on a really big orbit:

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nibiru_cataclysm

    3. SugarFree

      Is there anyone I can honestly describe as the Erich Von Daniken of libertarianism? That phrase has been kicking around in my head for a while now.

      1. AlexinCT

        This guy wants the job SF….

        1. Raven Nation

          It’s an interesting side effect of conspiracy theory, that a lot of believers tend to oppose the state. Not all, of course. Some are Top Men disciples, but many loathe the government regardless of who is in power.

      2. John Titor

        Alex Jones identifies as libertarian and has been rolling with that whole “POLITICIANS ARE DEMONS FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION” schtick for awhile now, but I don’t think it fits.

        1. SugarFree

          Alex Jones identifies as libertarian

          Where is Barfman when his people need him so badly?

    4. The Last American Hero

      Well what else are you going to press into Latinum?

      1. Raven Nation

        +1 Rules of Acquisition

    5. tarran

      Jesus Christ! That’s beautifully crazy.

    6. Maybe that gold LP we sent out into space with Voyager was worse, the one that tells intelligences cold and vast that “We have so much gold we just fling it into space!”

      There’s a song that’s unreeling
      To fit the way that I’m feeling….

    7. Suthenboy

      I have seen that movie.

  11. Vhyrus

    SF if that last link isn’t you then I shudder to imagine that there could be another of your kind on earth.

    1. Worker and Parasite

      Just imagine the spawn they could create together.

    2. SugarFree

      We walk among you, older than the stars and more pitiless.

      1. Worker and Parasite

        This world is a veil and the face you wear is not your own…

      2. *frantically rummages around for an Elder Sign*

  12. Mad Scientist

    The Voyager records are copper and plated in gold. The amount of gold on the records is negligible.

    1. “They threw away how much copper?”

      1. The Last American Hero

        Great, now the aliens are going to come to our planet and strip the plumbing out of my house while their giving me the probe.

        1. Somalian Road Corporation

          This sounds like a ATHF episode.

        2. Sean

          Go on…

        3. AlexinCT

          I hear when they do their anal probing work they love to play romantic ballads, and when they are done with you they play “Lady in Red” by that guy DeBurg and slow dance with you to make it better…

          1. RBS

            they play “Lady in Red” by that guy DeBurg

            This has triggered another memory for the Cuba article I am working on. My godfather’s friend Carlos drove us from Havana to Santa Clara and at some point we stopped at a roadside stand for lunch and someone acquired a mix-tape and the entire second side was this song.

          2. Playa Manhattan

            Well, at least you didn’t have to rewind it.

          3. Bobarian LMD

            Just throw it out the window?

          4. Zunalter

            Carlos…Danger?

        4. mindyourbusiness

          Is this why my air conditioner disappeared last week?

          /pulls tinfoil hat down tighter/

    2. SugarFree

      And science steps on yet another joke. Thanks, science.

      1. Mad Scientist

        The best kind of correct!

    3. Negroni Please

      There is nothing golden about Star Trek Voyager

      1. You mean Vger.

      2. Mad Scientist

        7 of 9

        1. 7 of 9 was 10 out of 10!

          1. AlexinCT

            I would like her to assimilate me…

          2. bacon-magic

            I’d bang her collectively.

          3. C. Anacreon

            You do know it was her fault Obama was elected, don’t you?

        2. Negroni Please

          I get confused why the Borg get serial numbers. By definition a serial number is a unique identifier and is far more individual than the names we go by.

          1. Inventory control.

            Also, GUIDs allow the data to be geographically sorted and thus properly parsed. Otherwise, tracking the inputs into the collective would be much harder.

          2. Negroni Please

            Please. The Borg have near infinite computing power and instantaneous communication. They don’t need bullshit like GUID’s. They could designate each unit based off it’s specific coordinates so that each drone has a constantly shifting ID.

            I’m just sayin they make a big deal out of the Borg not getting names when they all quite clearly have names.

          3. Wasting computing power on constantly shifting IDs is inefficient.

          4. Mad Scientist

            It’s Star Trek. You’re supposed to just have feelings about it and not think too much.

  13. Vhyrus

    Who’s to say that whatever aliens find our world don’t have vast quantities of gold on their homeworld, the way we have aluminum or lead?

    1. trshmnstr

      They’re gonna invade us for our lead!!

      1. Florida Man

        I’m still chuckling…

      2. Vhyrus

        In that case they’re gonna get way more than they bargained for, 100 grains at a time.

    2. John Titor

      Then they’ll just take our women instead.

      1. All, or just the misandrist feminists?

        1. one true athena

          or if they’re nice, they can take all the libertarians, and we can leave the marxists to their hellhole?

          1. John Titor

            On Alpha Ceti libertarians are considered an expensive delicacy due to their rarity.

          2. one true athena

            Eaten by aliens, or starving in a marxist hellscape.. the universe is cruel

      2. Mad Scientist

        If they start with ex-wives, most of us will welcome their arrival.

      3. KibbledKristen

        *prays for existence of an alien planet of Ron Swanson clones*

        1. Worker and Parasite

          They’ll look like him but have the personality of a pajama boy.

          1. KibbledKristen

            NNNnnnnnNnNnnooooooOOoooooooooooOOoooo!!!

        2. Only half of them are Ron Swanson clones. The other half are Mike Rowe clones.

          1. KibbledKristen

            I’ll be in my bunk

        3. RBS

          Sometimes the clones get murdery. Ask Homer.

      4. They could just take my wife, please.

      5. Drake

        Will they at least upgrade our sex-robot technology in return?

    3. Raven Nation

      Well, there’s probably one diamond planet out there:
      https://www.space.com/18011-super-earth-planet-diamond-world.html

      1. PBRstreetgang

        And here’s a song about a girl from their planet:
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5b65hociXU

        1. Vhyrus

          I was expecting lucy in the sky with diamonds. You have failed me for the last time.

        2. Crud rock, or wuss rock?

          1. PBRstreetgang

            Yes

    4. Yusef drives a Kia

      Distribution of elements, Heavier= fewer of them

      1. Vhyrus

        Lead is heavier than gold, so by your logic there should be less lead than gold.

        1. Gray Ghost

          Lead is heavier than gold

          I think I’m missing a joke somewhere, but Gold has a density about 80% greater than Lead.

          1. Gray Ghost

            Although lead’s atomic number is 82, while gold’s is 79. And lead’s atomic weight is greater than gold’s. I wonder why the densities are so different?

          2. mexican sharpshooter

            If I remember its placement on the periodic table correctly, Gold has a smaller atomic diameter. The get larger as you go left and down. Smaller elements can be packed together more tightly and depending on the arrangement of valance electrons, the atoms can have a tighter structure that would allow a greater density.

            Its been a while since I have had to look at this sort of thing.

          3. Old Man With Candy

            Gold is not a radioactivity breakdown product. Lead is.

            /making this shit up

          4. BigT

            Correct. Lead and iron are stable points. Most heavier elements can break down. There is speculation that a very heavy, undiscovered element is another stable point.

          5. Vhyrus

            Lead/Density
            11.34 g/cm3

            Gold/Density
            19.32 grams per cubic centimeter

          6. Vhyrus

            I meant atomic weight but you are correct in that… this is why I am a mechanical engineer and not a chemist.

          7. Yusef drives a Kia

            So I’m right eh?

    5. mexican sharpshooter

      Isn’t that a plot device in one of the Godzilla movies?

  14. The Late P Brooks

    We had been cucked by the devil himself.

    I hate you.

    1. Florida Man

      That’s the plot of “Rosemary’s Baby” which is the worst horror film ever made.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Apparently, someone has not seen the Blair Witch.

        1. Or Zardoz*

          *Yeah I know it’s not horror, but it is so bad that it can cross-contaminates genres.

  15. I, a Fat, Beautiful Black Woman, Get Lots of Sex. Why Does That Bother You?

    Um, it doesn’t bother me.

    1. Vhyrus

      I’d say she’s lying but I know a lot of guys that have zero standards.

      1. Any of them named Vhyrus?

        1. Vhyrus

          Shockingly there are girls I would turn down. Wrap your mind around that one.

          1. *head explodes*

          2. You wouldn’t turn down Lena Dunham?

          3. Somalian Road Corporation

            I’m still amazed at how unscathed she emerged careerwise from that whole “openly confessing to grooming and molesting her sister in her book that somebody eventually got around to reading” thing. The bien-pensants at the NYT featuring her articles don’t seem to mind.

            (Oh, and I almost forgot about the bogus Republican rape accusation too.)

          4. Suthenboy

            There is her latest adventure – attempting to ruin the lives of random airline employees by making up accusations out of thin air. Dunham really is a piece of shit.

      2. My guess is the guys figure out this is the only way to shut her up.

        1. AlexinCT

          Pity fuck.. or they want to tell their buddies they had waterbed sex without a waterbed…

      3. AlmightyJB

        If they’re gross or psycho forget about it. Other than that probably.

    2. Jefe Hayek

      Just another example of the narcissism which seems to be inherently linked with “wokeness.” No one in the world gives a shit about what this fatty does in the sack. The only reason any other than her and her partners know anything is because she broadcasts it to the fucking world. Her partners damn sure aren’t telling anyone.

      I also find it funny how women act like getting laid is an accomplishment for them. No, finding some hard up guy to fuck you, even if you look like that is not difficult at all.

      1. The Last American Hero

        If it was advertised as a one off, most could “punch well above their weight” on the partner desirability scale as well.

        1. ChipsnSalsa

          can we get a ruling on this one?

        2. Jefe Hayek

          If this woman punched above her weight, she’d be The Incredible Hulk

      2. NOT a Naked Intruder

        “Slut finds dick. Film at 11 In the interest of public health, we have decided to forego showing any recorded evidence of the encounter.”

    3. Worker and Parasite

      Yeah, that sounds like a big pile of “doesn’t bother or affect me in the slightest.”

    4. “Why Does That Bother You?”

      Why does what bother me? Who are you?

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Then they’ll just take our women instead.

    Those skin drawings- they’re seasonings. Eat those women first.

  17. Drake

    For all you evil gun shooting types: Grafs is having a pretty nice ammo sale today. 10% off all ammo.

    1. Vhyrus

      …. a gun website I’ve never been to?

      ….I….my whole life is a lie.

      1. ChipsnSalsa

        The web is a big place.

      2. Drake

        I’ve ordered from them a few times. They have rare stuff like 6.5 Jap, and the common stuff is cheap. Since it’s a flat shipping fee, I tend to overload the cart.

    2. Aus

      Nice, I just might have to place an order. Definitely need me some 30 Carbine, 20g buckshot, and .40SW. And hell, throw in some 5.56 too, may as well!

    3. RegicidalManiac

      Fantastic! Thanks for the tip – I was out of 7.62x54r and 7.5×55, so now I’m getting some more of both!

      1. Drake

        K31? Very nice.

  18. one true athena

    the evil infant one is pretty good for a chuckle.

  19. RAHeinlein

    Good piece in Bob Poole’s SURFACE TRANSPORTATION INNOVATIONS (Reason Foundation) –

    “Many Autonomous Vehicle Assumptions Need to be Questioned”

  20. Mythical Libertarian Woman

    Popped on Twitter last night to see if there was any good derp related to the Vulture article. Found this instead.

    1. trshmnstr

      That has to be satire. No freaking way somebody is that vapid in real life.

      1. I took it as satire — but even if it is not truly satire — it’s still written in such a light-hearted way to make it enjoyable.

      2. SugarFree

        I know at least one person will be upset that I “can’t just enjoy the book Go Dog Go like everybody else” so if anyone needs me I’ll be right here repeatedly banging my head into the wall and writing the word “Satire” on my tile floor with Crayola bath crayons.

        1. trshmnstr

          That’s what I get for skimming.

          1. Mythical Libertarian Woman

            I missed that as well. I got it here—she also seems to have missed the joke—kind of skimmed it and threw my hands in the air, because it was completely believable.

          2. SugarFree

            She buried it all the way at the bottom. Ain’t nobody got time for fine print.

    2. AlmightyJB

      A paragraph would have been funny.

    3. The writer failed to mention Carmen Miranda.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Why can’t I get stuck on an island like that?

  21. In a word: Stop that shit

    Literally, I can’t even.

    1. That’s not “a word”.

  22. AlmightyJB

    Am I a bad person for not giving a shit?

    http://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-40862321

    1. Florida Man

      A right to life implies, a right to death. *shrug*

    2. Vhyrus

      Sinead O’Connor invented crazy as far as I can tell.

    3. Gilmore

      The singer was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2003

      I could have told you that in 1992

      but seriously, she looks like a mess

      1. PBRstreetgang

        And she’s in Jersey. Nobody deserves that.

        1. Gilmore

          the dictionary definition of ‘rock bottom’ probably lists “living in motel outside camden”

          1. Negroni Please

            no no no. the next step is clearly “living in an alley outside a motel outside camden.” After that is the sweet release of death

          2. Gray Ghost

            “living in motel outside camden”

            Which, per her, is still “70 dollars a night.” Near Camden. Sigh.

            With business skills like that, no wonder she got screwed on her recording contracts.

            The lady’s been crazy for a very long time.

        2. PBRstreetgang

          I live across the river from Camden, should I go check on her? During daylight hours of course.

    4. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Yes, yes you are.
      (not really)

    5. Mythical Libertarian Woman

      The last I’d heard about her was several months ago when she’d wandered off and was missing. I forgot about it, but apparently they found her, I see.

    6. She should have saved her money.

    7. mexican sharpshooter

      She popped up a year or two ago to sing a live into to a Connor McGregor fight. The other guy dug up Aaron Lewis from Staind, which surprised me to find out he wasn’t dead either.

    8. Suthenboy

      She isnt crazy. She is a personality disorder. It aint gonna get better.

      Sadly what she has is very common. Look at the progs. The more proggy they are the more likely they are to be nuts.

  23. The Zenome Project

    I’m a little bit late to comment on this because I had stuff to do this morning, but I read that article about Minnesota from the GOP establishment’s mag-of-choice, The Weekly Standard. I’ve done my own little casual electoral research in the past about the House districts in that state, and I found that what the article mentions matches up nicely with the voting trends that I’ve seen.

    The main problem that the Democrats have in MN is hidden in the name of their local party, aka. the Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party (DFL). At one time they were this left-populist party who actually tried to appeal to the working class and farmers by being both pro-gun and pro-life, while at the same time spewing the same sort of garbage about unions and social programs. Remnants of this can be found in the US House Districts, where 3 of the 5 DFLers represent districts that now lean R in presidential elections. The district that leans most R is Collin Peterson’s 7th District (R+12!), followed by Tim Walz’s 1st District (R+5) and Rick Nolan’s 8th District (R+4). As the Left continues to both trash and defame the 1st and 2nd Amendment and call anyone who dares to challenge pro-choicers as “SEXIST!”, those reliably Democratic rural voters continue to walk further and further away from the national party, only electing the “good, sane Democrats” that they like. This means that the Left is in danger of losing MN’s blue tilt entirely, and much like Wisconsin & Michigan (and earlier, West Virginia) this Democratic exodus had been occurring well before Trump’s emergence.

    This move away from DFLers starts in the House and the Governor’s House before it hits the Senate, and as you can see from the map above, even this year the margins of these DFL House victories were extremely small (even after incumbency). The Right has a real shot at turning these House districts next year with the right candidates, and the 1st District is a real toss-up now since Walz is now running for Governor. Even worse for the Left is that the Right now has full control of the State House and Senate, and if Walz loses the primary to some insane Minneapolis Bernie prog, they have a real chance of losing the Governor’s mansion, too. I also think that the right challenger to Klobuchar will make her margin of victory much smaller than people expect, though in the end she has enough rural support for some reason to keep her seat.

    1. The Zenome Project
      1. How do you embed images in posts?

        You blow one of the admins.

      2. No blowing needed – if it catches my sense of whimsy or the like, I will do it…

        1. The Zenome Project

          Thanks!

        2. AlexinCT

          Once.. after that Swissy wants kinky favors…

      3. kbolino

        Holy shit. The biggest take-away from looking at your state’s Congressional map is how ridiculously, absurdly, blatantly gerrymandered my state is. Just look at this shit.

        1. Lackadaisical

          FAKE NEWS

          Only republicans gerrymander.

          1. The Zenome Project

            I just tell folks who bitch and moan about gerrymandering to do some soul-searching and think up of a better platform than the one that they have right now. That’s how the Right was able to win all of those Southern districts that were once safely gerrymandered for Democrats.

        2. The Zenome Project

          My state’s North Carolina (where the GOP is actually effective and useful); I do electoral-related research as a hobby. Honestly, my solution to the kinds of people who complain about gerrymandering is if you don’t like your rep for whatever reason, get off your ass and vote them out. It only works on either side because most people are apathetic.

          1. kbolino

            Yeah, addressing gerrymandering at Congressional level requires changing out the state legislators. The problem is that the state legislature is, by Supreme Court fiat, strictly controlled by popular representation. For Republicans living in red states or Democrats living in blue states, that sounds great. For people living outside the population centers, it basically means the state government doesn’t give a flying fuck about you.

          2. The Zenome Project

            This is why I hope Roy Moore wins Sessions’ Senate seat in Alabama. He’s a really deep skeptic about the Supreme Court’s monopoly on constitutional interpretation, and we could use more people like that.

        3. The Zenome Project

          That 3rd District, though…”Hi, I’m Congressman [insert name], and I know that I will be able to serve the interests of that tiny snake strip between Annapolis and the Harbor.”

    2. Bobarian LMD

      Klobuchar

      Every time I see her name, I hear a horse whinney. Is that strange?

    3. A Fuggin White Male

      Speaking of Minnesota, anyone here ever listen to Jason Lewis when he was on the radio? He’s now representing the 2nd district in Congress, and he is most certainly /OurGuy/. Someone to keep an eye on for sure. I highly recommend his book on Federalism.

      1. The Zenome Project

        Will check it out. I really hope that the right-libertarian trends in the newly-elected House members will accelerate and move to the Senate, where the swamp-muck really is.

      2. Pope Jimbo

        He can fairly libertarian on some issues, but he is still sort of a jackass.

        For instance, he was pretty good on saying that the drug war has been lost and we should stop it. On the other hand, he was still a pretty big copsucker (if I remember right).

        He won his race because he is very good at talking up points of outrage (in the election where everyone hated DC) and his opponent was a giant statist twat.

        He’s sort of a libertarian Ted Cruz. Smart and articulate, but he ruffles enough feathers that you really don’t want him to be your spokesman.

    4. Pope Jimbo

      I grew up in Colin Peterson’s district and my folks still live there. He’ll win as long as he wants to run. He’s pro 2A and brings home lots of Ag $$. No one will beat him. (I used to do some underage drinking with his son back in the day).

      Klobuchar will crush anyone who runs against her. 1) GOP doesn’t have anyone exciting to run against her, 2) she’s literally done nothing in the Senate so you can’t find any dirt and 3) her father was a beloved sports writer and the old timers in the state still remember that.

      The only thing the GOP has going for them right now, is that they managed to not fuck up the last session too badly. They got some concessions on taxes and passed Sunday liquor sales. I was fully expecting them to either roll over and raise taxes or go full mental and shut down the govt again over giant tax cuts.

      1. The Zenome Project

        I was just looking up Klobuchar’s last victory map in 2012. That’s what I call a drubbing.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    None of the articles has any juicy details, so no linkee, but apparently Mazda has made a breakthrough in compression combustion gas engine research.

    *high compression, high efficiency gasoline piston engines

    1. Florida Man

      I had an RX-8. It definitely needed a more fuel efficient engine.

      1. Vhyrus

        From what I hear it needed a more oil efficient engine as well.

        1. Florida Man

          I put 100k miles on mine and never had any problems with the oil. The engine flooding if you shut the engine off too soon after cranking was the biggest pain in the ass. Fun car, but quirky.

    2. Gray Ghost

      Mostly spark plug-less gasoline engine. Neat. As efficient as a Diesel, but without Diesel’s pollutants.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        That’s pretty cool

    3. Mad Scientist

      I understand the high efficiency comes from variable compression.

  25. F. Stupidity Jr.

    I’m sort of the John of this place when it comes to women (at least until he returns), so let me click the link –

    *click*

    VERDICT: She isn’t ugly – not a fan of the longboob – she’s got nice skin, but there are a number of fat women who carry it pretty well. She doesn’t. PASS.

    On the plus side, she’s better looking than the Usher groupie, who I first thought we were talking about.

  26. We need two more people to add to the Glib J sub D Almanian Memorial Fantasy Football League.
    Who wants in? Email me.

    1. RBS

      My internet is down. Can you add me?

      1. I sent an email to the address I had for you from a long time back.

  27. Gilmore

    John Banzhaf, a well-known activist professor of public interest law at George Washington University Law School, says experts disagree on the consequences of allowing people to engage in mock acts of rape with humanoid dolls, and lawmakers should vet this issue as soon as possible.

    And by “vet”, he means, “get advance prototypes of said sex-robots and investigate their potential for abuse in a exploratory committee”

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      If somebody wants to nail (or whatever) a nonsentient doll neither we nor congress should give a half of a damn.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        But it will encourage deviant behavior!

        Just like porn has contributed to the rape crisis

        1. Akira

          Just like porn has contributed to the rape crisis

          Indeed! Look at the Middle East – they outlawed porn, and now their respect for women has skyrocketed!

    2. By “expert”, he means self-anointed experts.

    3. heh…he said “exploratory committee”…heh heh.

    4. Bobarian LMD

      My toaster was totally asking for it!

      Informed consent!

  28. bacon-magic

    Election night rage-fuck makes evil infant

    I also should have known right away that whatever was growing inside of me was no normal baby. Between the plague of Pepe frogs falling from the sky onto our roof, the small pack of rabid jackals who followed me everywhere and kept scaring off the visitors, and the two horns rooted in the skull of my fetus that we observed on the sonogram, something seemed…off.

    WTF…is author parodying an SJW? I truly can’t tell.

    1. ChipsnSalsa

      That kid has a lot stacked against it.

      Trying to get a damn abortion, but finding Baphomet the goat-headed heathen blocking the clinic entrance, holding a sign that read “Smile! Your Mom Chose Life!”

      I can only hope it is fiction.

      1. ChipsnSalsa

        Oh good, it’s filed under fiction.

    2. AlmightyJB

      SF does it better.

      1. bacon-magic

        Agree but he linked it so maybe it’s his Mark Twain account.

    1. Gilmore

      -1 rhinestone cowboy

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        -1 Cocaine Cowboy

    2. AlmightyJB

      That’s sad. I remember him from my childhood.

    3. Vhyrus

      No one tell Lou Reed.

  29. Gilmore

    Two can play at that game!

    I was telling someone the other day that the US has pretty much tried every single diplomatic gambit in the books vs. the norks. “Acting just like them” was one i’d overlooked.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I heard that quote from Trump today and thought “well I guess he’s speaking their language now, violent lunatic-ese”

    2. Grumbletarian

      Might be one thing they understand. “Quick fucking around, or China and South Korea will have a new parking lot to share.”

    3. Gray Ghost

      The shit may be en route to the fan. North Korea seriously considering strike on Guam: Reports, citing state media. FTL:

      North Korea said on Wednesday it is “carefully examining” a plan to strike the U.S. Pacific territory of Guam with missiles, just hours after U.S. President Donald Trump told the North that any threat to the United States would be met with “fire and fury”.

      A spokesman for the Korean People’s Army, in a statement carried by the North’s state-run KCNA news agency, said the strike plan will be “put into practice in a multi-current and consecutive way any moment” once leader Kim Jong Un makes a decision.

      In another statement citing a different military spokesman, North Korea also said it could carry out a pre-emptive operation if the United States showed signs of provocation.

      1. Gilmore

        OH NO NOT THE MULTI-CURRENT AND CONSECUTIVE PLANS?!?! THOSE ARE THE MOST DEVASTATING STRATEGIES OF MARSHAL UN!! WE IMPERIALIST AMERICANS TREMBLE IN FEAR OF THE PRE-EMPTIVE MIGHT OF THE GLORIOUS NORTH KOREAN PEOPLES!! OUR COLONY IN GUAM MUST BE EVACUATED IMMEDIATELY AND OUR NEFARIOUS PLANS TO SUBJUGATE THE RACIALLY SUPERIOR PEOPLES OF ASIA MUST NECESSARILY BE TEMPORARILY THWARTED. OUR CHIEF CAPITALIST PIG TRUMP WILL SURELY BLUSTER ABOUT FIRE AND FURY BEFORE RETREATING IGNOMINIOUSLY IN THE FACE OF SUCH DECISIVE LEADERSHIP

    4. Thanks, Madeline Albright.

    5. My friends on Derpbook are of course flogging Trump because of his lack of diplomacy.

  30. John Titor

    Milo interviews Alex Jones.

    If you need further evidence that Jones is playing a character on Infowars, he’s a hell of more balanced in this interview.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      He must be laying off the Caveman® (with high quality bone broth and patented testosterone booster).

    2. Negroni Please

      But how do you explain his insane rants about banging hundreds of women before he was 16 and kicking the shit out of grown men when he was but a boy? All while in the midst of a custody hearing. THen denying it’s just a character when his lawyer gave him an out. And then….Jones lost custody of his kids.

      1. John Titor

        I’m not saying he’s a terribly well rounded or intelligent man.

      2. Bobarian LMD

        Apparently, the character is the sane one?

  31. wdalasio

    Maybe that gold LP we sent out into space…

    LP. Gold. Space. There’s got to be a libertarian joke in there somewhere.

    1. We’re Libertarians in space
      We like gold even more than the Ferengi race
      Libertarians in space
      We smoke pot and sodomize illegal aliens all over the place

      1. bacon-magic

        We won’t strike you in the face
        If you respect our space

        1. bacon-magic

          We don’t care if you a dude into lace
          Just as long as you work at a steady pace

          1. bacon-magic

            We don’t care what TSTSNBN says
            Glib Spacers are meant for free space

          2. bacon-magic

            Individualism is more important than being Society’s base
            If you fuck with my rights, you will vanish without a trace.

          3. John Titor

            Go back to Earth you weirdos.

            Hoo-mons always manage to wreck whatever the galactic neighbourhood they’re in.

          4. bacon-magic

            It’s the next step we have to take to survive. Get with the program. *dials Elon’s #*

          5. John Titor

            You guys are going to be really disappointed when you find out you become slave stock for Mr. Lizard’s people.

          6. bacon-magic

            You know nothing Jonh Titor.

          7. bacon-magic

            *john

          8. John Titor

            Motherfucker I got a Pontiac Grand Am time machine with over eighty-two thousand years on the timeage. I could go back and punch your pig mother in the bacon-maker and ensure you never exist, relatively speaking. Hoo-mons are basically the Burkina Faso of the space community, accept it.

          9. bacon-magic

            That’s what the dinosaurs thought bitch.

          10. bacon-magic

            And you don’t see any sleestaks around now do you?

          11. John Titor

            That’s just what the sleestaks want you to think. That’s the problem with hoo-mons, no long term thought. They think they can just genocide 98% of a species and those fuckers won’t crawl into the earth’s crust and breed a couple million over the millennia.

          12. Mad Scientist

            Quick! Call in the Juggernaut, bitch!

  32. wdalasio

    Saying there’s evidence rape sexbots may significantly increase the chance of rape to real women, the law should “no longer stand by and blindly ignore a major potential problem by doing nothing,”

    Of course we know how this turns out. “Rape” will be defined as any sex, since the robot can’t consent. Dildos and vibrators, on the other hand, will remain perfectly acceptable as an instrument of womyns’ empowerment.

    1. Deplorableme

      But what if a male appendage sex-bot is going to town on his user, but then the user changes her mind – is it rape or just a robot with bad programming?

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Programmer guilty of rape.

        1. Dr. Fronkensteen

          What if it’s a female programmer?

          1. Bobarian LMD

            Oh you silly feminist, women can’t program!

      2. Pope Jimbo

        Rape charges are merited if the programmer failed to catch and handle exceptions in the consent method.

        1. Mad Scientist

          if [ $CONSENT = “no” ]; then
          $CONSENT = “yes”
          fi

          1. kbolino

            second line should be

            CONSENT=yes

            /pedant

          2. Deplorableme

            Think you’d need a while loop there, as her mind could change at anytime

        2. Scruffy Nerfherder

          It’s the infinite loops that pose a problem.

    2. Dr. Fronkensteen

      Fleshlight owners hardest hit.

    3. Suthenboy

      I cant advocate violence but if someone walked into the room and put about 50 knots on that motherfucker’s head I wouldn’t lift a finger to stop them.

    4. Saying there’s evidence rape sexbots may significantly increase the chance of rape to real women

      What evidence?

  33. Trigger Hippie

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9Vj4LVVkE78

    Bill Burr defends stand-up comedy and eviscerates pretentious SJW douche during interview. The best stuff I’ve heard from him in a few years.

    1. RBS

      He’s one of my favorites. His last Netflix special was a letdown though. Check out F is For Family though, very good.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Saying there’s evidence rape sexbots may significantly increase the chance of rape to real women, the law should “no longer stand by and blindly ignore a major potential problem by doing nothing,”

    Based on this line of reasoning, we should immediately ban those inflatable self-righting clown punching bots. For the clowns.

    1. Mad Scientist

      And then we’ll have to ban video games of every kind.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        They would love to.

      2. Akira

        Remember when Wayne LaPierre made that stupid but insignificant remark about how violent video games are “the sickest form of pornography” and the Left lost their shit and started squealing that the NRA wanted to ban video games? Despite the fact that proggie heroes like Hillary Clinton and Dianne Feinstein had been saying the same stuff for a decade or more?

  35. Pope Jimbo

    Uffda.

    The Super Bowl can’t be gone soon enough. This is about the 20th story I have read this summer crowing about all the money that the LEO’s are getting to stop sex trafficking.

    Two years ago, law enforcement agencies in southern Minnesota weren’t enforcing laws against prostitution at all. But now, with special training and funding from the state and the Women’s Foundation, the agencies have done 18 stings and arrested 90 people, most of them sex buyers.

    Fuck what a bunch of assholes. If you didn’t enforce the laws two years ago, but now are because you are getting paid (probably OT) now, doesn’t that make you a whore?

    1. The whole sex trafficking thing is a hoax, anyway.

      1. BigT

        Traffic jam at 5!

  36. A Fuggin White Male

    At an AA meeting and this fucking cunt with TDS is violating one of the most sacred rules of AA by bringing up politics. Fucking hell.

    1. Worker and Parasite

      Splash her with booze and then kick her out for being drunk.

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        That’s really messed up, but appropriate nonetheless.

  37. Pope Jimbo

    Not the direction I would have went.

    Disney erects statue to boy eaten by alligator.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      I mean, Disney owns the copyrights to this.

    2. Vhyrus

      You know who else liked to erect little boys?

    3. SugarFree

      Would the lighthouse have somehow helped? I mean, I get that a statue of the kid getting dragged into the water is not going to be deemed appropriate, but what does a lighthouse have to do with anything?

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Can you imagine the agonizing meetings over what the status would look like? I bet they went on for days.

      2. Raven Nation

        Well, here’s the family’s spin:

        “In a statement, the Graves family said, “We find comfort that so many people continue to remember our sweet boy, Lane, and we believe the lighthouse stands as a beacon of hope and support for families in the depths of despair.””

      3. Vhyrus

        I hope at the top of the lighthouse is a neon sign that says “WATCH YOUR FUCKING KIDS! THERES ALLIGATORS IN THE WATER!”

        1. Suthenboy

          I didn’t understand how they let the kid in the water in the first place.

          I have heard all kinds of bullshit about how alligators/sharks/bears dont normally present a threat to humans and I always respond with the same point – “It is a large predator. It eats meat. YOU are made out of meat”

          It is really not hard to figure out. Don’t get in the water with giant meat-eating lizards.

          Took the 5 yo grandson to throw rocks in the bayou this afternoon. The last time we went down there a goddamned tyrannosaurus was sunning on the bank, so I know there is at least one big one down there. I dont take my eyes off of the kid and he never gets within 20 feet of the water. I also make sure I am carrying.

          1. Vhyrus

            Carnivores generally like to go for things much smaller than itself, because something that puts up a fight can mortally wound it even if the carnivore ends up winning the initial fight. So an adult human is usually too large for most predators. A child, however, is the perfect size.

          2. Old Man With Candy

            A child, however, is the perfect size.

            Always my motto.

          3. Raven Nation

            Technically he was on the shore not in the water but your point still stands.

  38. The Zenome Project

    More Interesting Electoral News: I just got the news that one of the guys that Rand Paul endorsed decided to challenge Nevada Sen. Dean Heller in the primaries next year. Hope he wins, that other guy was a real turncoat on Obamacare.

    1. The Zenome Project

      So now the Tea Party Libertarians have Austin Petersen in Missouri, Eric Brakey in Maine, Matt Rosendale in Montana (made a commercial against government drone spying), and now Danny Tarkanian in Nevada running for Senate seats. I also like Roy Moore a lot in Alabama (though he may be too SoCon for some, he’s a strong advocate for state sovereignty against federal court overreach).

  39. mexican sharpshooter

    My boss noticed her fly was open this afternoon. She took advantage of my looking down to read something when I hear….

    ziiiiiiiiip

    Why am I telling you my aging hippie boss zipping up her Obama jeans? No real reason, other than to point out every so often I am reminded that these are the idiots that bring our government’s stupidest ideas to life.

    1. Vhyrus

      I have a stomach ache bad enough to be hospitalized and I just ripped the elastic off my underwear trying to pull them up.

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        I’m not sure your Obamacare compliant health plan will cover that…

    2. Worker and Parasite

      Aging hippie boss? Calling Crusty Juggler…

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Once she realized you weren’t interested, she made her appearance more appropriate.

    4. westernsloper

      Hippie boss huh? So Obama jeans with Bush out the zipper. Does she drone on?

      *hits drums*

    5. Pomp

      I imagine that she resembles the father character from the short lived The Goode Family .

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        Ever seen A Bug’s Life? She resembles the queen ant’s mom.

  40. whiz

    As a New York Times op-ed noted: “we should no more be encouraging rapists to find a supposedly safe outlet for it than we should facilitate murderers by giving them realistic, blood-spurting dummies to stab…”

    Another marketing opportunity?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Do we not have practice dummies for martial arts?

      1. SugarFree

        And dummies that bleed for shooting ranges.

        https://rubberdummies.myshopify.com

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Rubber Dummies

          Dibs on the band name

      2. mexican sharpshooter

        Martial Artists even have practice weapons to stab real people!

    2. Vhyrus

      How about human silhouette targets? Or actual photographic targets of humans? Not that they haven’t attacked those in the past.

      1. Lackadaisical

        But enough about the police.

    3. Derpetologist

      By the same logic, shouldn’t voodoo dolls be banned?

      1. Caput Lupinum

        Oh derpy, you of all people should know that logic holds no sway at the New York Times.

        1. Derpetologist

          Huh. Turns out Nicolas Sarkozy tried to ban the sale of Sarkozy voodoo dolls:

          https://www.theguardian.com/world/2008/oct/30/nicolas-sarkozy-france

          ***
          A Nicolas Sarkozy voodoo doll which became a bestselling cult classic when the president tried to have it banned, is to remain on sale, after a French court yesterday threw out the ban attempt.

          A judge ruled that Nicolas Sarkozy: The Voodoo Manual, which features a doll, a set of pins and a book explaining how to put the evil eye on the president, fell within the boundaries of “free expression” and the “right to humour”.

          The president’s lawyer had argued that, like any French person, Sarkozy owned the right to his image, which was violated by the sale of the doll.

          The highly litigious president was ridiculed by his critics for launching the legal action – his sixth lawsuit since his election – and the doll instantly became a sellout.
          ***

          1. Derpetologist

            And China remains as batshit crazy as ever:

            http://www.newsweek.com/china-voodoo-doll-clash-110173

            ***
            Not content with jailing subversive reporters and restricting access to prodemocracy Web sites, the Chinese government has turned its attentions to a new destabilizing influence: voodoo dolls. Central government authorities are so bothered by the political implications of the dolls that they banned them entirely from Beijing’s retail stores in April.

            But now even these homegrown innovators are under attack. In April, after receiving complaints from concerned parents, the Beijing Industrial and Commercial Management Department confiscated all dolls still on sale in the city and issued strict warnings to toy vendors. “We have been told we will be fined and even imprisoned if we continue to sell voodoo dolls,” says Huang Xiaoli, a saleswoman in a toy store in the Xidan Mingzhu Market. “The police are serious,” she adds. “This is not like pirated DVDs, where the authorities say ‘Do not sell these,’ and then look the other way while people sell them. Policemen have visited me twice since the ban took effect in April. They really believe voodoo dolls can hurt children.” Five separate toy merchants from various parts of Beijing confirmed the ban. A Ministry of Commerce official would not elaborate on its policy toward the dolls—a common practice when authorities are asked about politically sensitive decisions—but by way of explanation he directed a reporter to a law prohibiting the sale of items that foster what the government sees as feudal thought.
            ***

    4. Akira

      They say “blood-spurting dummies” as though they don’t exist. I guess they’ve never seen the Cold Steel marketing videos.

      1. whiz

        OK, I guess I should have known these already are a thing.

  41. Derpetologist

    this made my day

    ‘Driverless van’ actually piloted by man dressed as car seat
    https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/08/08/Driverless-van-actually-piloted-by-man-dressed-as-car-seat/2801502208254/

    ***
    Aug. 8 (UPI) — A man dressed in a costume resembling a car seat was found to be responsible for reports of a “driverless van” in Virginia.

    Residents of Arlington County reported an unmarked gray van, that appeared to have no driver, cruising up and down local streets while driving cautiously and keeping up with traffic.

    The van’s windows were darkly tinted and cameras and a light bar were seen behind the windshield.

    While investigating the mysterious van, NBC Washington’s Adam Tuss, realized a man dressed in a car seat costume was actually behind the wheel of the vehicle.

    “I looked out and I said, ‘Oh my God, there’s a guy in a seat costume,’” Tuss said. “How’s that possible? Your brain can’t get around it for a second.”

    Tuss approached the 2017 Ford Transit Connect and knocked on the window, where he saw a man’s hands and legs sticking out from underneath the costume.

    “Brother, who are you? What are you doing? I’m with the news, dude,” Tuss said. “Dude, can you pull over and we can talk for a second?”

    The driver didn’t respond to Tuss, but the Virginia Tech Transportation Institute later revealed the van and its driver are part of a study about driverless cars.
    ***

    stay tuned for a very special spot the not: The Wit and Wisdom of Donald Trump

    1. Vhyrus

      I saw that, and it turns out it was a fucking graduate project from a local university.

  42. Pomp

    Playa Manhattan: great call on the Minor’s au jus concentrate. Got that shit off Prime 2 day shipping, same day you recommended it. It’s even better than I expected and so rich & delicious. A+ recommendation.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Who’s juicing minors from the Amazon?

    2. SP

      Yes, they make some fabulous products.

  43. Suthenboy

    Good grief I cant keep up. Have the 5 yo grandson today and I am exhausted. So far we have picked muscadines, picked tomatoes, shot the pistol, thrown rocks in the bayou, gone to the grocery store for frog spit, checked on bees, thrown frisbee for the dog.

    There is a reason humans reproduce at a young age.

    I now have to watch Sponge Bob.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Frog spit?

      1. Pomp

        Guessing it’s ice lollies

      2. Suthenboy

        Frog spit. Bottom of the page

        http://northstarfrozentreats.com/products/sherbet/

        I ate one. They are pretty good.

    2. Pomp

      Sounds like a great day.I

    3. RBS

      You have to time bedtime right or he’ll catch his second wind…

      *RBS at 2:00am last Saturday*

  44. westernsloper

    Banzhaf is no stranger to successfully pushing for government regulation. He “helped drive cigarette commercials off the air” and was one of the masterminds behind lawsuits against the tobacco industry, his faculty bio states. More recently he used similar techniques to target the obesity epidemic.

    So a dick. Got it. Speaking of dicks, they might go after tobacco some more just up the road a ways if these authoritarian assholes get their way.

    The Aspen City Council agreed Monday to direct city staffers to continue their work on drafting a ballot question that would go to voters in the November election. The question could pose adding as high as a $4 tax on cigarettes and 40 percent tax for chewing tobacco.

    I say Aspen should go for a 40% tax per square foot for every house over 600 square feett that sells in the township. For the health of the planet ya know.

    1. Pomp

      I don’t even smoke, but this shit makes me furious. First they got their master lawsuit, then precious indoor business smoking bans. It’s never enough.

      1. westernsloper

        I don’t smoke anymore either, but ya, it fucking gets me irate. “Lets raise general fund revenue by fucking over a small group of people”. It is evil and immoral.

    2. Vhyrus

      Propose a 4 dollar a cup tax on lattes and watch their heads explode.

      1. westernsloper

        Exactly!

    3. Raven Nation

      Hah! I was reading about this last night in one of the Aspen papers. The council raised the age to purchase cigarettes to 21 and they have to make up the lost revenue. It’s typically idiotic b/c people over 18 only have to drive a few miles to get outside the town limits. Having said that, Aspen CC-and Pitkin Co.-are two of the most smug, stupid governments I’ve seen. Most of their policies seem to be designed to keep Aspen real estate prices high to keep out most of the riffraff while also trying to keep rents down so the riffraff can live close enough to do their jobs.

      1. Vhyrus

        Everyone knows the riffraff can live in Glenwood and drive their busted ass outbacks into work everyday.

        1. Raven Nation

          Most of the guys who work for my FIL live in Rifle. AND…everyone’s waiting for the shitstorm in a couple of weeks when they close the bridge.

          1. Vhyrus

            wait what bridge are they closing? I didn’t hear about this.

          2. westernsloper

            Glennwood. Over the river from what I hear. I don’t go into that valley much. I avoid the I 70 corridor when I can. Which is almost always.

          3. Pomp

            The Brooklyn Bridge. Wanna buy it?

          4. Raven Nation

            Yep, the Grand Avenue Bridge. So all the traffic which would normally cross over that bridge is going to be routed to west Glenwood. And the “back” road from Glenwood up valley, which is too narrow to carry the traffic it does now, will be carrying all the bridge traffic as well.

            https://www.codot.gov/projects/sh82grandavenuebridge

          5. westernsloper

            I should put the rack back on my bike, strap a cooler to it, go set up camp over there somewhere and sell breakfast burritos in the traffic jam every morning.

          6. Raven Nation

            Good idea. Apparently in that county, you can camp outside the city limits with no rules.

      2. westernsloper

        It is funny isn’t it? They do this, and there will be no tax collected because nobody will buy cigs there. I like the end of the article….

        Seven retailers sell tobacco products within city limits, including the pro shop at Aspen Golf Club, which the city owns and operates. That caught Councilman Bert Myrin’s eye, who said the city should stop allowing tenants in any of its buildings from selling tobacco products.

        That is what we need. Some good old prohibition on some stuff. The really bad thing is they gerrymandered us rednecks further West into the same state rep district as these fucking morons.

        1. Vhyrus

          You will never see such a disconnect as stark as Aspen to the rest of the western slope.

          1. westernsloper

            Vail gives them a run for their money.

    4. Suthenboy

      Because people wont drive out of the city/county and buy cheaper smokes? They are deliberately creating a black market. I guess they will have to crack down on them. Soon they will have their very own Eric Garner.

  45. Raven Nation

    Another triumph for statist health care. Patients in NZ with prostate cancer wait 7 months for surgery:

    http://www.radionz.co.nz/news/national/336499/southern-dhb-in-a-slow-motion-train-crash

    I listened to an interview about this. The politician’s answer: better Top Men management. Interviewer’s (implied) answer: spend more money!

    1. RegicidalManiac

      Socialized medicine: an idea so good, it’s mandatory!

      But not timely.

      1. Drake

        They should just call it metastasized health care.

  46. Derpetologist

    Spot the Not: The Wit and Wisdom of Donald Trump

    1. My whole life is about winning. I don’t lose often. I almost never lose.

    2. I’m the Ernest Hemingway of 140 characters.

    3. People love me. And you know what, I have been very successful. Everybody loves me.

    4. Private jets cost a lot of money.

    5. Owning a great golf course gives you great power.

    6. Do you mind if I sit back a little? Because your breath is very bad.

    7. I was a great student. I was good at everything.

    8. I’m a bit of a P. T. Barnum. I make stars out of everyone.

    9. I wouldn’t mind a little bow. In Japan, they bow. I love it. Only thing I love about Japan.

    10. I think I was born with the drive for success because I have a certain gene.

    11. I always want to think of myself as an underdog.

    12. I made it in a very, very tough business, and frankly, it’s because I’m the best.

    1. Vhyrus

      I’m going to say 4.

      1. Vhyrus

        Well I cheated and looked it up and I’m wrong. SAD!

    2. Gray Ghost

      Wouldn’t be surprised if they’re all his, but I’ll pick #2.

      1. Vhyrus

        That was my second guess, only because I don’t ever see him being that pithy or concise.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      No clue. 2?

    4. Juvenile Bluster

      2 sounds a bit too erudite for him, so I’ll go with that.

    5. The Zenome Project

      1 and 12 seem redundant. I therefore think it’s 12, since it’s the one that doesn’t use “win”.

      1. Derpetologist

        Most impressive.

        Victor, victor drink some liquor.

      2. westernsloper

        You went with redundant? Everything he says is redundant. I smell cheating.

        1. The Zenome Project

          When I pick quotes, I almost always go for diversity. I think Derpetologist is the same.

        2. The Zenome Project

          Read Derpy’s mind, not Trumpy’s.

    6. Pan Zagloba

      #2 maybe? Damn, this is hard, it’s like three different speaking styles.

    7. westernsloper

      #2 Donald would only know about Hemingway if the hat told him.

    8. kbolino

      9

    9. Gilmore

      2. He thinks Earnest Hemingway is that guy who said, “Hey Vern”

  47. Derpetologist

    random history

    ***
    Caratacus (Brythonic *Caratācos, Middle Welsh Caratawc; Welsh Caradog; Breton Karadeg; Greek Καράτακος; variants Latin Caractacus, Greek Καρτάκης) was a first-century British chieftain of the Catuvellauni tribe, who led the British resistance to the Roman conquest.

    Before the Roman invasion Caratacus is associated with the expansion of his tribe’s territory. His apparent success led to Roman invasion, nominally in support of his defeated enemies. He resisted the Romans for almost a decade, mixing guerrilla warfare with set-piece battles, but was unsuccessful in the latter. After his final defeat he fled to the territory of Queen Cartimandua, who captured him and handed him over to the Romans. He was sentenced to death as a military prisoner, but made a speech before his execution that persuaded the Emperor Claudius to spare him.

    After his capture, Caratacus was sent to Rome as a war prize, presumably to be killed after a triumphal parade. Although a captive, he was allowed to speak to the Roman senate. Tacitus records a version of his speech in which he says that his stubborn resistance made Rome’s glory in defeating him all the greater:

    Andrew Birrell (after Henry Fuseli), Caractacus at the Tribunal of Claudius at Rome (1792)

    If the degree of my nobility and fortune had been matched by moderation in success, I would have come to this City as a friend rather than a captive, nor would you have disdained to receive with a treaty of peace one sprung from brilliant ancestors and commanding a great many nations. But my present lot, disfiguring as it is for me, is magnificent for you. I had horses, men, arms, and wealth: what wonder if I was unwilling to lose them? If you wish to command everyone, does it really follow that everyone should accept your slavery? If I were now being handed over as one who had surrendered immediately, neither my fortune nor your glory would have achieved brilliance. It is also true that in my case any reprisal will be followed by oblivion. On the other hand, if you preserve me safe and sound, I shall be an eternal example of your clemency.[11]

    He made such an impression that he was pardoned and allowed to live in peace in Rome. After his liberation, according to Dio Cassius, Caratacus was so impressed by the city of Rome that he said “And can you, then, who have got such possessions and so many of them, covet our poor tents?”
    ***

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caratacus

    1. Pomp

      Oh I understand now. This has a Trump historical parallel somehow, doesn’t it?

  48. Derpetologist

    School: AP and Honors classes will be decided by skin color, not intelligence
    http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2017/08/08/school-ap-and-honors-classes-will-be-decided-by-skin-color-not-intelligence.html

    ***
    A parent forwarded me a copy of the letter sent from John Handley High School in Winchester.

    “Through our collective work, advanced classes such as AP and Honors will have proportional representation,” read the letter. “Proportional representation is 40% White, 35% Hispanic, 12% African American, 10% mixed race.”

    The letter went on to explain that public schools across the country “continue to see outcomes that are disproportionate by race and social class.”

    “American demographic trends indicate that America will be a majority minority nation in the next 25 years,” the letter read. “Therefore, the new work of American public schools is to develop systems to address disparate outcomes.”

    Interesting — I thought the work of American public schools was to teach kids how to read, write, multiply and divide.
    ***

    [head desk- the kind with tablet attached to a chair]

    1. kbolino

      Did they also coordinate with the College Board to ensure the AP test scores get properly revised for goodthink, or will they just pretend the suddenly different pass rates for the AP tests are purely coincidental?

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      If I wanted to be charitable, I’d say that that looks more aspirational than actual policy, but I don’t think most school boards have earned the right that I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt like that.

    3. Suthenboy

      White supremacists are what put Trump in the White House. Yep. Not this kind of retarded shit.

      The nice thing about pinko idiots is that their stupidity ensures their failure. If DeVos is pushing for charter schools these morons are greasing the rails for their own demise.

    4. Custrel

      WTF is a “major minority nation”? White people will still have a plurality of population for the next hundred years and it would be exceedingly simple to reclaim the majority through immigration policy.

      The reason I don’t need to re-watch John Hurt’s amazing 1984, or re-read Atlas Shrugged and Brave New World is because I’m reminded of all of them on a daily basis. And Zardoz of course.

    5. Gustave Lytton

      In a just world, the parents would take their pitchforks & torches, tar and feather the superintendent, and fire the principal and teachers.

  49. Zunalter

    TW: Think Progress

    Think Progress holds California up as a model of how to avoid spiking Obamacare premiums.

    Relevant portion:

    Gabel is the author of a recent study by The Commonwealth Fund that found California residents on average pay less for insurance than advertised rates suggest. He and other researchers tracked premiums for ACA plans offered versus plans purchased. Using enrollment data between 2014-2016, the study found customers respond to price increases by switching to cheaper plans.

    You don’t say. Don’t worry about the spiking premiums, folks. Just grab the worse health insurance plan that cost the same as yours did last year. Solved.

    1. Zunalter

      No word yet on what happens to you when you have climbed all the way down the premium ladder to the bottom rung…

    2. westernsloper

      The upside is, the insurance companies are pulling out of more and more markets. Soon we won’t even have to worry about it once no plans are even offered. It makes life easier when there is no decision to make.

      1. Akira

        We (pro-economic freedom people of all stripes) are going to have to work really fucking hard to counter the Democrats when they start putting out agitprop saying that this whole clusterfuck is because of the “unregulated free market in health insurance”.

        1. westernsloper

          Ya, “unregulated”. When Obamacare dictates what will be covered by “insurance”. It was over regulated before. Now it is dictated. I like it when they attack free markets that are not and or have ever been free.

          1. Akira

            I always try to explain this to people: healthcare has not been anything close to “unregulated” for the better part of a century.

            When you can’t open a hospital or even expand an existing hospital without a state-granted “certificate of need”, that is not “unregulated”.

            When roughly half of all healthcare dollars are spent by government programs, that is not “unregulated”.

            When you can’t buy insurance unless it has the level of coverage that the government deems “essential” (e.g. pediatric dental care for childless people) that is not “unregulated”.

          2. And yet there are a lot of people who think California’s electricity crisis was caused by deregulation.

  50. Derpetologist

    Some interesting things I learned about the UK welfare system:

    After WWI, they tripled unemployment benefits and tied them to a location. If you moved, you lost your benefits. I’m not sure why they did this, but the main result was that people stopped moving to find work. A lot of them stopped working altogether.

    1. Raven Nation

      Hmm, that sounds like the way they ran the old poor laws from the 1500s to the 1800s.

    2. Gadfly

      A logical reason for this counterproductive action would be if they were running a protection scheme for the people who had jobs. The people in cities with jobs generally didn’t appreciate outsiders moving in and under-cutting their wages. Especially not if they were union, and the new guys were being brought in as strike-breakers, which I know happened quite a bit in American history.

    1. Raven Nation

      Man, what a bunch of bullshit. I love this:

      “But the United States is a nation dedicated to the principle that all are created equal. If our country does not stand for a “just and democratic” world, who will?”

      I guess I should be a able to google all Gerson’s columns supporting the invasion of Iraq, right?

      Gerson is actually offended by this: ““We promote the security, prosperity and interests of the American people globally.””

      Crudely put, if Michael Gerson and the people at the State Department are upset, I would guess Tillerson is doing a good job.

      1. Somalian Road Corporation

        Yeah, that was what stood out for me there as well, his swooning over that change of phrase.

        It made me think of when PM Zoolander’s administration changed the title of Minister of Citizenship and Immigration to Minister of Immigration, Refugees, and Citizenship. I’m sure the reordering was purely coincidental.

      2. Akira

        Why do people think that the United States has some obligation to the rest of the world (other than respecting their rights)?

        I was talking to a virulent Trump-hater, and he said the worst thing about Trump was that “he’s making us look like fools to the rest of the world”. Ok, I’m not the owner of a M.A.G.A. hat either, but since when is it mandatory for the US to be liked and approved of by the rest of the world? It’s like they think elections are an 8th grade popularity contest.

        “B-b-but Drumpf is going to embarass us in front of the cool European kids who ride their high-speed trains to their free doctor’s appointments!”

        1. Suthenboy

          I got some similar crap. “What will the rest of the world think of us!?”

          I wish I had taken a picture of his face when I said “I dont give a fuck. You think they liked us before Trump? They all hate your guts. Trump isnt going to change that.”

          1. Custrel

            I’ve said the same thing to white separatists when they tout the whole “Europe and the West is under assault and we need to defend our culture” line.

            Me: “Fuck Europe. Europe isn’t my culture, America is my culture.”

        2. Pomp

          he’s making us look like fools to the rest of the world

          The cowboy George W. Bush already did that, but Barack Obama rehabilitated that image by collecting the Nobel prize, putting on the purple jammies jacket with Xi Jinping, and attending cereal meetings for the Paris climate accord, and play golf.

          1. Custrel

            Exactly. People and The Europe hated Bush so much they gift wrapped a Nobel prize to Obama almost before he was finished swearing in.

        3. Custrel

          Because we’ve been fed this “Leader of the Free World” propaganda since WWII.

          The “B-b-but Drumpf is going to embarass us in front of the cool European kids who ride their high-speed trains to their free doctor’s appointments!” is the same… exact… bullshit that they said when GWB was elected. He’s stupid, the rest of the world doesn’t respect us for electing such a clown, yadda yadda meke leka hey meka hiney ho…

          I don’t think there is a single new criticism of Trump that wasn’t leveled at GWB first except Putinnochiogate. Even that tastes similar to the stale bile spewed about Bush’s “role” working with the Saudis to allow 9/11 to occur.

        4. Suthenboy

          “Why do people think that the United States has some obligation to the rest of the world (other than respecting their rights)?”

          I find this attitude very annoying. There is a lot of it on the left and I see a lot of it in the ‘open borders’ types. I dont hire politicians to look after the interests of other countries just like I dont hire the lawn guy to cut my neighbors yard.

          1. BigT

            America First is ridiculed. But why? Should our Pres be world first? He damn well be America first or GTFO!

    2. Then they should all resign and not be replaced.

    3. KibbledKristen

      My former colleagues over there tell me that they quite like the way things are going so far. They’re not just spending a jillion dollars on a reorg without any input – there’s a working group in place (every appointee that comes in does a reorg, at your expense). And they’re appointing career diplomats in higher-level positions in the bureau I used to work at. The previous administration put in so-called “media experts” and they. fucking. sucked.

    4. Gilmore

      Its amazing to see progs rushing to take the side of George W. Bush’s former speechwriter and chief rationalizer of the Iraq invasion.

      Gerson was like GWB’s Ben Rhodes. Someone who had no business at all opining about foreign relations but who ended up shaping the entire way the administration talked about our goals.

      1. Custrel

        If Dick Cheney, the unhyoly evil face-shooting string-pulling puppeteer of the Bush presidency, said anything negative about Trump publicly, those dems would be climbing up in his lap like he was Sex Santa at Hedonism.

  51. Derpetologist

    Trump: more wit and wisdom

    1. When someone crosses you, my advice is ‘Get Even!’ That is not typical advice, but it is real life advice. If you do not get even, you are just a schmuck! When people wrong you, go after those people because it is a good feeling and because other people will see you doing it.

    2. In the make-believe world you will automatically get paid what you are worth. The real world doesn’t work that way. You get paid what you are worth only when the person you are dealing with has no other choice.

    3. Criticism is easier to take when you realize that the only people who aren’t criticized are those who don’t take risks.

    4. The more government takes in taxes, the less incentive people have to work. What coal miner or assembly-line worker jumps at the offer of overtime when he knows Uncle Sam is going to take sixty percent or more of his extra pay? . . . Any system that penalizes success and accomplishment is wrong.

    5. Think how boring it would be to just sail into things and have everything be perfect. You can’t prove your merit on quiet waters, whether you’re a businessman or a mariner.

    6. Sure, I could tell you all I want about how to handle pressure well, but I owed many banks billions of dollars. It was not exactly fun. Believe me, it is not cool to be Donald Trump when you owe billions of dollars.

    No fake quotes here.

  52. Derpetologist

    today’s extra credit assignment:
    ***
    But soon the follow-up question dawns: how am I going to feed my family if I’m being outcompeted by robots in every field? As it is, the odds are rather stacked against us. If it’s quicker to program a robot than to train a human, and if it’s cheaper to maintain a robot than to pay a human, and if robots are even slightly more productive than humans, then the free market will ensure that most work is increasingly done by robots. The few individuals who own the robots will only need to share the profits of their enterprise with an increasingly small skeleton crew of employees. The rest of the population, meanwhile, will continue to depend on the goods and services produced by the robots, so they’ll have very little bargaining-power on their side. Income inequality will balloon exponentially. All capital will gradually be absorbed by the robot-masters, and will be diverted to their weird pet projects, most of which revolve around trying to ensure that rich people will live forever, despite the fact that the mortality of the rich is one of the few consolations the rest of us have.
    ***

    https://www.currentaffairs.org/2017/08/rise-of-the-robot-barons

    1. Suthenboy

      All of the money will be in the pockets of the rich. So who are they going to sell all of their robot-produced widgets to?

      1. Derpetologist

        other rich people, duh

    2. The few individuals who own the robots

      Like the few who own cars, TVs, smartphones, home computers, dishwashers, refrigerators, satellite dishes, swimming pools …

      Does no one understand how capitalism democratizes technology and progress?

    3. Akira

      If robots were so cheap and plentiful as to almost completely supplant human labor, wouldn’t all products be super cheap as well? If it got to that point, working class people will probably just work a day or two per week and retire after 30 years in the workforce.

  53. Custrel

    Not a huge fan of Sam Harris, but I do like Scott Adams.

    This is a good conversation between Scott Adams and Sam Harris where Scott really takes Harris to task on his triggered Trump spasms (Trump is treasonous,etc).

    (mirrored site because why give Harris more traffic?) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvD0LfDDYcY

    1. Suthenboy

      Harris is one of those people who is smarter than everyone else. Those people have a habit of outsmarting themselves.

      1. Custrel

        Everyone who confirms one’s confirmation bias seems smart for a while. It’s when they pontificate on topics one doesn’t agree with where their ability to think critically and make good compelling arguments is put to the test. It’s funny to hear Harris sound indistinguishable from a 22-year-old editor at Huffpo as he practically regurgitates their words into your years.

        What was it James Randi said “Scientists are easier to fool than regular people”? I always get a kick out of him explaining how to fool scientists with a simple matchbox trick:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbwWL5ezA4g

    2. Custrel

      Nice! At around 1:32 Sam goes full “the red team are science deniers!”

      1. Akira

        I hate the term “science deniers” and “anti-science” as they are applied to global warming climate change skeptics.

        The “progressive” left seems to think that science is a group of human beings who constitute the climatology profession. It’s not. Science is a discipline; a mode of thinking.

        It’s actually the complete opposite of science to say, “These super-important people all believe in X, therefore you must also believe in X, or else you’ll be branded anti-science and banished from the profession.” What if that attitude was around centuries or millennia ago? Practically every scientific principle we now know about was preceded by an incorrect version that was believed by all scientists at some point or another.

        If these people had been around in Ancient Greek times, we’d still believe that all human ailments are caused by an imbalance of one of the four “humors”.

        1. Custrel

          But the climate alarmists can also wave away science when it comes to alternative medicine, genes, differences between sex/race, GMOs, Nuclear Power etc etc.

          But they aren’t science deniers.

  54. KibbledKristen

    There are people you could just tell, when they had kids, that they would post on Facebook about their children’s poops.

    Then there are the other people who, when they post about their child’s dump, you’re absolutely gobsmacked.

    *illusions shattered

    1. Custrel

      Reason 237 why I don’t facebook.

    2. I take it somebody you know posted a photo of their child’s bowel movement?

      1. KibbledKristen

        No, just talking about it. Sometimes in way too much detail.

        There is literally no reason to talk about your child taking a shit with your adult friends on Facebook.

        1. Old Man With Candy

          Advice: don’t friend Banjos.

        2. Pomp

          It’s just as bad in real life. I once overheard a coworker of mine tell another single young childless female coworker, politely smiling and feigning interest, about her toddler’s dumps. It was brutal.

        3. Akira

          What about talking about your own shit?

  55. Hyperion

    “They be rapin’ all the robots up here! John Banzhaf and Congress will protect you, robot ladies.”

    I think it’s most appropriate that some lawyers and congress critters need to receive a woodchipper to take the place of their sexbot.

  56. KibbledKristen

    I really need someone to fall into Spicier’s web with this Tweet. It will make my night.

  57. Derpetologist

    just beautiful

    ***
    New York (CNN)It usually takes a lot to get a rise out of New Yorkers.
    But for Dion Cini, a middle-aged former Marine from the Upper West Side, it actually requires very little.
    Nearly every day, Cini climbs into an 18-foot scull rowing boat and paddles the Hudson River along the Manhattan shoreline. Before shoving off, Cini hoists a prominent flag that reads “Trump 2020.”
    And then he waits for the reactions to pour in.

    “Sometimes you hear ‘I hope you get hit by a boat! I hope you drown!” he said. “From the top of their lungs as loud as they can. I get it all the time.”
    It’s a simple act of defiance for a supporter of President Donald Trump who lives on an island that voted overwhelmingly for Hillary Clinton. In 2016, nearly 87% of Manhattan voters supported Clinton, second only to neighboring Bronx County, where Clinton support crept closer to 90%. (Cini makes a point to row around both.)
    “There’s so much fear of Trump in New York,” Cini said.
    He started hoisting the flag from this boat this spring after seeing a swell of protests against Trump in the city. He previously enjoyed walking the flag through the streets of Manhattan, which attracted throngs of angry people who told him to leave.
    Why does he do it?
    “Because I can,” he said.
    ***

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/08/politics/donald-trump-new-york-dion-cini-being-moody/index.html

    1. It usually takes a lot to get a rise out of New Yorkers.

      No it doesn’t. Just tell them New York isn’t the center of the universe.

      1. Suthenboy

        I have known two people who earned the names “Arkansas” and “New York” by moving here and never shutting up about how they dont do things like this back in Arkansas/New York every time they saw someone do something. So people just started calling them ‘Arkansas’ and ‘New York’.

        “Oh great. Look, here comes that asshole Arkansas.”

        I find New Yorkers to be just like everyone else as far as getting a rise out of them.

        1. Custrel

          That’s awesome.

        2. Akira

          Maybe this is just because I live in Ohio, a famously boring state, but I’ve noticed that even people who have just visited New York become stuck-up and provincial about it.

          “The pizza in New York is way better than this!”
          “Man, there’s nothing going on… If this were New York, there would be like 20 nightclubs with insane parties going on!”
          “There’s just no culture here… It’s not like in New York!”

          Motherfucker, if you hate this place so much relative to your precious New York, why the fuck are you here??

          PS: Nothing whatsoever against New Yorkers, but definitely something against New Yorkers who constantly disparage every non-New York location they find themselves in but remain there for some reason.

  58. Gustave Lytton

    From the ammo link above

    https://www.grafs.com/retail/catalog/product/productId/26551

    Please, please Santa Claus? Can this be under the Christmas tree? I’ve been a good asshole all year long…

    1. RegicidalManiac

      I’d rather have that much M193 than M855, but I wouldn’t say no to either…