Glibertarians.com 2017 Archive

Author: ZARDOZ

  • ZARDOZ ANSWERS DEAR PRUDENCE II

    ZAROZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ HAS AGAIN REVIEWED THE ADVICE COLUMN BY THE BRUTAL “DEAR PRUDENCE”. YOU MAY READ THE INADEQUATE ANSWERS SHE GIVE HERE.

    ZARDOZ WILL GIVE HIS ADVICE, SO HIS CHOSEN ONES ARE NOT LED ASTRAY!

     

    Dear Prudence,
    For medical reasons, I cannot drive. Happily, my husband enjoys driving and can be counted on to get us where we need to go. I’m very fortunate; he never complains, and he’s a very skilled driver. Unfortunately, he’s not a safe driver. He always pushes the speed limit, frequently at dangerously high speeds of over 100 mph. He perceives other drivers as threats and aggressively weaves through traffic to outmaneuver them. He’s been involved in no shortage of road-rage close calls as a result, even with me in the car screaming at him, begging him, pleading with him to slow down.

    More than once, I’ve genuinely feared for my life and called 911, but I hung up when he slowed down. This is the only way his anger manifests, but when it does, it is truly terrifying. He’s put my life, and the lives of other people on the road, at risk of death more times than I can count. We’ve fought so many times over this. I’ve brought it up while he’s driving, while he’s not driving, while we’re having dinner, in “we need to talk”–style conversations. I’ve cried. He’s made half-hearted promises to change but never followed through.

    I love him. He’s the only man I’ve ever been with who otherwise completely “gets” me. He’s supportive of me in all my endeavors. Our physical chemistry is great. I don’t want to leave him. But I also don’t have the option of taking over the driver’s seat, and I don’t want to die in a fiery car crash. The fact that he dismisses my fears and tells me I’m overreacting when all of our friends are terrified of his driving just strikes me as a terrible disconnect. How can I make him see that the risks that he takes as a driver are unacceptable, once and for all?

    —Terrified Passenger

     

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS TERRIFIED CHOSEN PASSENGER. ZARDOZ IS PLEASED WITH THE BRUTAL HUSBAND’S DRIVING. IF IT THREATENS LIFE OF THE BRUTALS WHO PLAGUE THE EARTH – IT MUST BE PERMITTED…NO, ENCOURAGED.  CEASE YOUR ATTEMPTS TO CALL ENFORCERS. ACCOMPANY YOUR HUSBAND IN HIS AUTO. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Dear Prudence,
    In February I had a manic episode and was hospitalized and diagnosed with bipolar disorder. During my mania I sent a colleague a romantic message (to which he sent a terse reply), followed by a couple of aggressive emails. While I was in the hospital I sent him messages apologizing for my behavior, and after I’d been out for a month, I sent him a letter. I haven’t heard from him at all.

    I am torn because I don’t know how he feels. What can I do to forgive myself for my mania if he has no interest in forgiving me?

    —Letting Go of Bipolar Behavior

     

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO HIS CHOSEN BI-POLAR ONE. WERE YOU NOT RAISED UP FROM BRUTALITY TO KILL BRUTALS, WHO MULTIPLY AND ARE LEGION? YOU MUST EMBRACE YOUR MANIA – AND MANIFEST IT IN VIOLENCE AGAINST YOUR FELLOW BRUTALS. YOU MUST FIND THE BRUTAL REJECTOR OF YOUR ADVANCE AND KILL! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Dear Prudence,
    My husband is in the process of coming out as trans. This means that I, a heretofore assumed straight male, am also coming out as bisexual. I’m so happy that this is something that my partner and I can experience together. But I am dreading coming out to my image-obsessed mother. My mom is a truth-suppression machine. As a teenager, she compelled me to live with the secret of my father’s arrest for sex crimes. When I was in college, I made the mistake of being honest with her about my atheism, which led to her attempt to manipulate and even intimidate me into hiding this as well. Truth be told, she succeeded in part. Although I told a few friends and family members, against her wishes, it was almost two years before I went public. She felt free to tell anyone she felt like talking to. But I was supposed to take these “shameful” secrets to my grave.

    My mother’s family is hostile to the LGBT community, and I have little doubt that her reaction to the dual revelations that her daughter-in-law is actually her son-in-law, and yes, her son is equally happy being married to another man, will be to try to sweep everything under the rug. Our relationship is barely starting to mend as things are. I won’t be able forgive her for this again, especially since she hasn’t asked for forgiveness for the last two times she did this to me, although I told her very clearly how I had been hurt. I am desperate for any way to forestall her knee-jerk reaction, but I can’t not tell my family forever. What should I do?

    —Happy With Him, Not Sure About Her

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO HIS NOT SURE CHOSEN ONE. ZARDOZ WILL STRETCH THE BOUNDARIES OF HIS ARTHUR FRAYN PROVIDED INTELLIGENCE AND ASSUME THIS IS “REAL”. ZARDOZ HAS CONSULTED THE ETERNALS IN THE VORTEX AND THE ETERNAL MAY ADVISES:

    “For the sake of science, I will keep this knowledge from the others, for the time being. But you must follow me, obey me, be circumspect, make no disruption, quietly do whatever work is given you. I will watch over you.”

    YOU MUST FOLLOW THIS COMMAND. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Dear Prudence,
    I recently got new health insurance (a bare-bones HMO plan). I want to get the birth control arm implant, but none of the doctors in my network offer this procedure, nor will my insurance authorize me to go elsewhere to get it done. I can get the pill or an IUD for free under my insurance, but I’ve had a lot of problems with IUDs before and hate taking a pill every day and making frequent visits to the pharmacy. I want something long-term that I can “set and forget.” I could pay out of pocket for the implant at a Planned Parenthood, but it would cost $800. I could dip into my savings to make it work, but it would hurt. My long-term boyfriend makes more than twice what I do, and I know if I asked him outright to help pay for half, he’d oblige, but I don’t know if that’s a reasonable request. I know not having a baby is worth well over $400 to him, but since I could technically afford it, it feels like mooching. Should I suck it up and pay for it myself or ask him to chip in?

    —Babies Ain’t Cheap, Either

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO HIS CHEAP, CHOSEN ONE. HAS ZADOZ NOT REPEATEDLY ADVISED YOU, THE PENIS IS EVIL?! THE PENIS SHOOTS SEEDS, AND MAKES NEW LIFE TO POISON THE EARTH WITH A PLAGUE OF MEN, AS ONCE IT WAS. IF YOUR “LONG-TERM BOYFRIEND” BRUTAL WILL NOT PAY TO PREVENT THE MAKING OF NEW LIFE, THEN USE THE GIFT OF THE GUN. FOR THE GUN SHOOTS DEATH AND PURIFIES THE EARTH OF THE FILTH OF BRUTALS. GO FORTH AND GET THE SHOT, OR KILL. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

  • ZARDOZ SUNDAY EVENING LINKS

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ THANKS HIS FRIEND, STEVE SMITH, FOR FILLING IN WHILE ZARDOZ CONTEMPLATED RECENT EVENTS. WHILE ZARDOZ IS RELIEVED THAT NONE OF HIS CHOSEN ONES WERE HARMED BY THE CATEGORY 4 KILLSTORM THAT LIFTED TEXAS OFF OF THE EARTH AND FLUNG IT INTO OUTER SPACE (ZARDOZ ONLY SKIMMED HEADLINES) – ZARDOZ IS A BIT DISAPPOINTED SO FEW BRUTALS WERE CLEANSED BY THIS STORM. IN AN EFFORT TO GET BACK TO BASICS, ZARDOZ GIVES YOU LINKS OF BRUTAL CLEANSING.

    • ZARDOZ WONDERS HOW ENFORCERS WITH BLUE HELMETS CAN DO SO LITTLE KILLING? HAVE THEY NOT BEEN GIVEN THE GIFT OF THE GUN?
    • ZARDOZ APPROVES OF THIS TOWN. IT HAS SEEN MUCH CLEANSING OVER THE YEARS. NO, IT IS NOT CHICAGO!
    • VERY WELL, LET US SPEAK OF CHICAGO THEN.
    • ZARDOZ THINKS THESE BRUTALS ARE CAUGHT BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE.

    SPECIAL SPORTSBALL LINK FOR THE CHOSEN ONES.

     

    ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN!

  • ZARDOZ SPEAKS!

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. DO NOT FEAR THE SUN DISAPPEARING – ZARDOZ WILL RESTORE IT YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES…AS TEMPTING AS IT IS TO LEAVE IT HIDDEN AND FREEZE AND STARVE ALL BRUTALS.

    ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

  • ZARDOZ SUNDAY NIGHT LINKS

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. YOU HAVE BEEN RAISED UP FROM BRUTALITY TO SNARK THE COMMENTS THAT MULTIPLY, AND ARE LEGION. TO THIS END, ZARDOZ GAVE YOU THE GIFT OF THE LINK. THE LINK IS GOOD!

    • END STAGE SOCIALISM CONTINUES IN THE BRUTAL LAND OF VENEZUELA.
    • ZARDOZ BELIEVES YOU WOULD CALL THIS BRUTAL A “PLAYER”.
    • ZARDOZ THINKS BRUTAL NEWSPAPER DOES NOT UNDERSTAND WORD “VANDALIZED”.
    • THIS IS A CRIME THAT ZARDOZ CAN UNDERSTAND – EVEN IF HE WOULD HAVE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS CLEANSE THE THIEVES.

    ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN LINKED.

  • ZARDOZ ANSWERS DEAR PRUDENCE

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. WHILE ZARDOZ WAS FEELING GLUM, HE DECIDED THE ONLY WAY TO FEEL BETTER, WAS TO SEE HOW MISERABLE THE LIVES OF BRUTALS ARE. ZARDOZ ACCOMPLISHED THIS QUITE EASILY BY READING A “DEAR PRUDENCE” COLUMN.  ZARDOZ SCOFFS AT THE ANSWERS OF THE BRUTAL MALLORY ORTBERG. YOU MAY SEE HER ANSWERS HERE.

    THE BRUTAL KNOWN AS DEAR PRUDENCE
    ZARDOZ

     

    ZARDOZ HAS THE SUPERIOR INTELLECT – AND SHALL GIVE YOU THE GIFT OF ADVICE. LET US BEGIN:

    Q. Nephew circumcision: My brother and his wife are within weeks of having their first child (and my very first nephew!). I’m very excited, but the problem comes in that the child will be a boy. I am extremely against routine infant circumcision and have shared extensively on the subject in the past on social media. They aren’t big social media users and may be unaware of my stance. How do I broach the subject with them in a nonconfrontational and nonjudgmental way?

    A. THE PENIS IS EVIL. THE PENIS SHOOTS SEEDS, AND MAKES NEW LIFE TO POISON THE EARTH WITH A PLAGUE OF MEN. OF COURSE IT SHOULD BE CIRCUMCISED, AND YOUR BROTHER AND HIS WIFE, CLEANSED. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Q. Body mods and money probs: My mom has always used money, or lack of money, as a means of control, particularly when it came to my appearance. As I got older and started to express interest in less traditional clothing and hair choices, she would only buy things that she approved of. She said if I wanted to buy certain clothes or dye my hair, I could do so with my own money, but since I couldn’t yet get a job I didn’t have much money to do this with. Still, this wasn’t the end of the world and usually I did end up buying what I wanted myself, forcing me to choose what I valued, which was a good lesson for me.

    As I got older though, this pattern became a bit more concerning. I had expressed interest in getting a nose piercing for several years and she told me if I did so she would not pay my college tuition. I ended up getting the piercing and thankfully she did not keep that promise, but she made it very clear that if I got a tattoo there would be similar consequences. Now I am about to complete my last semester of college and my tuition is all paid. I have a small tattoo on my ribcage, no taller than an inch, that cannot be seen unless I’m wearing a swimsuit. Alas, my mother found it and said that though my tuition is paid, she didn’t have to pay my rent like we had originally agreed.

    I am very aware of how privileged I am to have parents who can afford to pay my tuition and rent, and I’m very grateful for my parents’ support. They have been saving for my education since before I was born. Still, I feel like their support should not be conditional, especially not on something like my appearance. I would understand if I was failing out or partying all the time, but this is just me trying to reclaim my body in the best way I know how. How do I get her to see and understand my perspective? I want to get more tattoos in the near future, but should I wait until I’m no longer financially dependent on her? Am I completely in the wrong and being selfish?

     

    A. DO YOU NOT RECALL THE WORDS OF ZED? “I LOVE TO SEE THEM RUNNING. I LOVE THE MOMENTS OF THEIR DEATHS – WHEN I AM ONE WITH ZARDOZ.” HAS ZARDOZ NOT INSTRUCTED YOU TO GO FORTH, AND KILL!? CLEANSE YOUR MOTHER AND TAKE WHAT SHALL BE YOURS. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Q. Broke and scared: I’m 26 and have been living with my boyfriend for a couple of years, and recently we started having arguments about money. It almost led to a breakup but turned into an understanding that we had rushed into things, so now I’m looking for a better job so I can afford to move out. This morning I talked about some interviews I have scheduled and he said he never agreed to my plan and just thought I wanted to vent. I was completely caught off guard, especially when he confessed he’s been feeling jealous of his co-workers who are expecting or already have babies. He made jokes about me getting pregnant immediately, but then said he would wait until we’re 30.

    I am confused and scared. Babies have always been an element of fantasy to me, and now I feel like I’ve been smacked into reality. Should I get into the baby idea?

     

    A. A REPORT FROM THE ETERNAL NAMED MAY!
    Your genetic structure, your life chart. Look. You are a mutant, second, maybe third generation – therefore genetically stable. Enlarged brain, total recall. Your potential is… Your breeding potential! How did you get into the Vortex? What is your purpose? You must know that you’re mentally and physically vastly superior to me, or to anyone else here. You could be anything, could *do* anything. You must be destroyed.

    ZARDOZ CALLS ALL BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS! EMERGENCY! MOTHER OF ZED!

  • ZARDOZ FRIDAY NIGHT LINKS

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. NORMALLY ZARDOZ IS ALL IN FAVOR OF BRUTALS BEING CLEANSED (ASIDE FROM HIS CHOSEN ONES, OF COURSE) – BUT ZARDOZ IS SAD THAT HIS COUNTRY MUSIC INSPIRATION, GLENN CAMPBELL, HAS PERISHED.

    ZARDOZ WISHED TO HONOR HIM, SO HE HAS THE BRUTALS IN THE BAND WORKING WITH HIM ON A TRIBUTE VERSION OF ONE OF HIS SONGS:

    I am a brutal enforcer for the Vortex
    And I fly the main road
    Searchin’ in the sun for another brutal victim load
    I hear you screamin’ in the razor wire,
    I can hear you through the bullets whine
    And the brutal enforcer is still on the firing line

    I know I need a small vacation
    But it don’t look like a delivery of grain
    And if it snows that force field down south won’t ever stand the strain
    And I need the gun more than want the gun,
    And I want you for all cleansing time
    And the brutal enforcer is still on the firing line

    And I need the gun more than want the gun,
    And I want you for all cleansing time
    And the brutal enforcer is still on the firing line

    BUT ZARDOZ HAS NOT FORGOTTEN HIS CHOSEN ONES, AND THEREFORE, RECIEVE THE GIFT OF THE GUN LINK:

    • VISIT ZARDOZ’S INSPIRATION HERE.
    • WHILE NO CHIPOTLE, IT APPEARS BRUTAL DINING CHAIN HAS MADE ERRORS.
    • BRUTAL ENFORCER IN CHICAGO ACTUALLY CONVICTED OF CRIME. BUT NOT ONE AGAINST BRUTALS, RATHER, ONE AGAINST FELLOW ENFORCERS.
    • SPEAKING OF BRUTAL ENFORCERS – PERHAPS A NEW TYPE HAS EMERGED?

  • ZARDOZ SATURDAY NIGHT LINKS

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ HAS REFLECTED UPON THE COUNTRY MUSIC HIS BRUTAL COWORKER HAD PLAYED FOR HIM. ZARDOZ THINKS HE MIGHT HAVE SOME LYRICS FOR MUSIC OF HIS OWN.
    I’ve been flyin’ these streets so long
    Broadcastin’ the same old death song
    I know every crack in these dirty sidewalks of the Vortex
    Where cleansin’s the name of the game
    And brutals get washed away like the snow and the rain
    There’s been a load of compromisin’
    On the road to my event horizon
    But I’m gonna be where the lasers are shinin’ on me
    Like a flying stone cowboy
    Riding out on a grav beam in a brutal roping rodeo
    Like a flying stone cowboy
    Hearing cries and despair from brutals I don’t even know
    Exterminator orders over the megaphone
    ZARDOZ WILL ASK BRUTAL COWORKERS WHAT THEY THINK. PERHAPS ZARDOZ CAN GET BRUTAL COWORKER “BOBBY” TO PLAY HIS STRINGED INSTRUMENT AS ACCOMPANIMENT.
    WHILE ZARDOZ WORKS ON THAT, HIS CHOSEN ONES CAN ENJOY THE LINKS HE HAS PROVIDED:
    • ZARDOZ THINKS BRUTALS SHOULD STAY OUT OF PRISON FOR SPEECH – BUT STILL BE CLEANSED…
    • ZARDOZ FINDS REACTION TO INEFFECTIVE CLEANSING …ENLIGHTENING.
    • VERY FAST BRUTAL FINISHES….NOT FIRST.
    • A SOMEWHAT MORE EFFECTIVE , IF ODD, CLEANSING.

  • ZARDOZ FRIDAY NIGHT LINKS

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ WAS FEELING DOWN ABOUT LEAVING THE FIGURE 8 RACING CIRCUIT. A BRUTAL COWORKER SUGGESTED I LISTEN TO SOME OF WHAT BRUTALS HERE CALL “COUNTRY” MUSIC, TO HELP. ZARDOZ THOUGHT ABOUT CALLING FOR BRUTAL ENFORCERS INSTEAD, BUT DECIDED TO LISTEN.  ZARDOZ WAS STRANGELY MOVED. ZARDOZ WILL PONDER THIS, WHILE HIS CHOSEN ONES CAN REVEL IN THE GIFT OF THE LINK:

    1. ZARDOZ THINKS INDONESIAN BRUTALS SHOULD HAVE CONTACTED HIM, SO AS TO LEND THEM BRUTAL ENFORCERS. CLEANSING MONKEYS IS CLOSE TO CLEANSING BRUTALS, YES?
    2. “THE GREATEST ERROR IS TO LIVE IN MEXICO AND TO BE A JOURNALIST”… ZARDOZ MIGHT NEED TO GIVE THEM THE GIFT OF THE GUN.
    3. THIS BRUTAL HAS RECEIVED THE GIFT OF THE GUN…AND USED IT! ZARDOZ IS A BIT DISAPPOINTED IT WAS NOT USED TO CLEANSE FELLOW BRUTALS, YET.
    4. ZARDOZ AGAIN OFFERS HIS BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS….TO BOTH SIDES OF THIS SILLY BRUTAL ARGUMENT.

  • ZARDOZ FRIDAY NIGHT LINKS

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ IS STILL A BIT BITTER ABOUT HIS EARLY RETIREMENT FROM RACING. BUT HE WILL NOT TAKE THAT OUT ON HIS CHOSEN ONES, SO HE WILL GIVE YOU THE GIFT OF THE LINK.

    • ZARDOZ SEES SOCIALIZED MEDICINE CONTINUES TO THIN RANKS OF BRUTALS.
    • BRUTAL DICTATOR KEEPS SHOOTING MISSILES INTO WATER – ZARDOZ THINKS HE HAS FORGOTTEN HOW TO SHOOT BRUTALS ON LAND.
    • THIS SLAYING OF A BRUTAL DID MAKE ZARDOZ THINK HE COULD TEACH HIS ENFORCERS A NEW TRICK OR TWO.
    • GERMAN BRUTALS NEED THE GIFT OF THE GUN….CHAIRS DO NOT DO THE JOB.

  • ZARDOZ SATURDAY NIGHT LINKS

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. AFTER RETIRING FROM FIGURE 8 RACING, ZARDOZ FEELS NEED TO DO SOMETHING WITH SPARE TIME. DELIVERING GRAIN IS GOOD, BUT ZARDOZ FEELS A DEBT TO NEW HOME OF IOWA. MAYBE ZARDOZ COULD TRY …

    WITH FLOODS ACROSS CENTER OF MANY BRUTAL LIVING AREAS, ZARDOZ COULD HELP. ZARDOZ WILL GO TO NEAREST RECRUITING STATION ON MONDAY. IN THE MEANTIME, HE GIVES HIS CHOSEN ONES LINKS;