ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. IT APPEARS THAT FRIEND STEVE SMITH HAS RETURNED TO HIS NORMAL WAYS. THE VORTEX WAS WORRIED THEY MIGHT ALL BE RAPED BY THE ENTITY “STEPHEN SMYTHE” – OF COURSE, THE TRAITOROUS ETERNAL MAY ONCE PROCLAIMED TO THE EXTERMINATOR ZED;
I have my followers. Inseminate us all, and we’ll teach you all we know, give you all we have. Perhaps you can break the Tabernacle. Or be broken.
ZARDOZ IS RELIEVED THAT THIS WON’T BE HAPPENING. THEREFORE, ZARDOZ IS FREE TO GIVE YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES, LINKS…SO THAT YOU MAY BE RAISED FROM BRUTALITY, AND SNARK AT THE BRUTALS, WHO ARE LEGION. GO FORTH AND COMMENT! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
ZARDOZ SNEERS AT THIS SLANDERING OF THE GIFT OF THE GUN. THE GUN IS GOOD!
ZARDOZ SUSPECTS THAT THE EVIL OF THE PENIS IS BEHIND THIS ACTIVITY. THE PENIS IS EVIL!
IS THIS NOT TO BE EXPECTED IN THE BRUTAL, LIBERTARIAN PARADISE?
ZARDOZ HOLDS OUT HOPE, THIS IS WRONG, AND THAT EXTERMINATORS WILL BE EMPLOYED.
After a week on the road, I’m home and once again ready to dish up the news. And it was in a few ways a fun week, mainly because the hotel I stayed at had NFL Network, so I was able to enjoy watching the Other Ravens take the field and demonstrate the culinary art of preparing Puree du Dauphin. And to see the Astros cook Molé de Doyers (I’m not a fan of the Astros, but I’m always happy to see the Dodgers flail). Anyway, busy news day, so with no further delay…
Muller takes his first scalp. Let’s have a pool, betting on which ham sandwich this will be; proceeds will go to the Almanian! Memorial Beer Fund. I have $1 on Manafort.
Cuba is, shockingly, a hotbed of racism. I think what Gurriel was trying to say was, “Be careful in the parking lot afterward, Darvish inherits his driving skills from his mother’s side of the family.”
This is from the Department of Shit That’s Wack. It’s not a handicap, it’s… something something culture, and anyone who works on technological fixes to restore hearing is clearly the same as Hitler, with Alexander Graham Bell being its Goering.
…the Deaf community is increasingly endangered by… a scientific community racing toward a cure for deafness without considering the ethical ramifications. There seems little concern about, for example, what inherent value a language or culture can have, or what it might mean to knowingly pursue its extinction.
Anyone who spends time in Wisconsin nods their head knowingly at this story.
And finally, the obligatory Old People Music. As far as I know, this is the only existing video record of the guy who was on a plane with Louie, Dizzy, and Miles. Died far too young and it still kills me that I never got to see him play.
STEVE SMITH DISAPPOINTED BY EFFORTS AS STEPHEN SMYTHE. PLENTY OF RAPE, BUT NO FUN. NO STRUGGLE, NO FIGHT. AT LEAST HIKERS RUN AND CAMPERS RESIST. STEVE SMITH THINK MAYBE HE SHOULD HAVE STAYED AWAY FROM HOLLYWOOD. THINK HARVEY WEINSTEIN GOT THERE FIRST.
SO STEVE SMITH FIND NICE STATE PARK AND GET GOOD, WHOLESOME MIDDLE CLASS RAPE. IF STEVE SMITH FEEL LIKE SLUMMING IT SOME, GO FIND KOA OR JELLYSTONE PARK.
SO STEVE SMITH GIVE FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE SOME LINKS, AND HE GET TO BUSINESS. AND BY BUSINESS, MEAN RAPE.
STEVE SMITH SHAKE HEAD SADLY. HANDCUFFS, GUNS, BADGES ARE FOR AMATEURS.
STEVE SMITH NO UNDERSTAND. THOUGHT ROYAL NAVY TRADITION WAS RUM, SODOMY AND LASH? WHY THIS CAUSE TROUBLE?
STEVE SMITH THINK HE KNOW WHY CHICAGO HAVE TO KEEP RAISING TAXES.
Aww yeah. Its Friday afternoon. Took my wife to this nice little mom’n’pop Japanese restaurant today. The food was awesome, but everyone sat down at lunch at once. At one point we hear Pop go into the back (he’s usually up front doing the sushi), loud yelling in Korean or Japanese (the restaurant is Japanese, but they are always playing K-Pop), a refrigerator door slam and then a loud English “Shit!” All of that to say, cooks are the same in every language.
Big ball game tonight. Will Lance McCullers Jr bring the same filthy pitching he closed down game 7 of the ALCS? Will the Yu Darvish of the Rangers era show up against the Astros or will he be the dominant pitcher he’s been post-Trade? Will we see another 3+ homerun night? Which, call me old fashioned, but I want to see less than 50% of the runs in a game result from homeruns. I like seeing guys have to put together two or three good at bats together to get a single run across the plate. Maybe the A/C will take 10 feet off those long hits and we’ll see more doubles off the wall.
Given the arrest rate of NFL players, I don’t see what’s so problematic about the statement “we can’t have the inmates running the prison” with regard to the flag kneeling thingy. Maybe some non-black NFL players who have been convicted of crimes should start a #MeToo trend*.
The freaking Member-Guest is this weekend at my club, so I’m gonna have a hard time getting a round in today. And I couldn’t play in a golf outing when Ohio State hosts Penn State with an afternoon start. So I don’t know what I’ll do with my time other than work. And that ain’t no fun for nobody. Meh, I guess I can suck it up for another day. (Or I can still go out there around noon and figure out a way to worm my way in between groups out there before they start the shootout.)
No baseball yesterday means no shit-talking today. It also means I have time to dedicate for a nice early-season NHL analysis. In the Wales Conference, Tampa Bay just keeps on lighting it up. 44 goals through 11 games and a 9-1-1 record is a hell of a start. The Pens are playing well, which is no surprise. But the Maple Leafs are hanging tough with a 7-3-1 record and look to end their misery streak with a nice season. Sure its early days, but they are looking good. Ottawa, New Jersey, Columbus and the NY Islanders round out the top 7 although Boston and Carolina have a couple extra games to play and the middle of the table is pretty tight. Over in the Campbell Conference, the LA Kings are leading the con…wait, did I just say the LA Kings are leading the Campbell? Holy shit, they are. Well good for them. I suppose the bandwagon will start to attract a few more people by the day and pretty soon, the internet will be crawling with LA hockey fans. The Blues are right there with them and Vegas, with the generous expansion draft system that was employed this year, are hanging tough at the top and with a couple extra games to play. Vancouver, Chicago and Dallas needn’t worry. They’re fine. But Arizona. Yikes! They might fold the team midseason if this debacle continues. I mean, even Les Canadiens du Montreal have won a couple games this year.
Anyway on to football, where Stanford had to come back and pull out a miracle win against Oregon State, who just fired their coach two weeks ago. And there was a blowout in the pro game but I won’t report on out because I can’t find stories on who kneeled and who didn’t that don’t contradict each other. And I wouldn’t want to report on that oh-so-important part of the story without being accurate.
OK, I gotta give her credit for making a good joke. But it doesn’t sound like the hunger strike is anything to be taken seriously if the commissary receipts show anything. These guys sure as shit ain’t the IRA.
Still recovering from Jesse’s “ministrations” during the bender. Leaving everyone with this month’s Teen Vogue parody cover and empty links to play in. Special thanks to Mad Libertarian Woman for her awesomely believable work.
The ball is juiced and the strike zone tends to get bigger and smaller based on the situation. But none of that was able to keep the hard-hitting Astros from coming back to win Game 2 of the World Series last night. Hoo-boy! That was a doozy of a game. Now its back home to Minute Maid Park, where the ball will really fly (unless they replace them with, you know, actual baseballs that don’t surprise batters when they leave the field instead of dropping in for lazy pop flies).
Also, football is back tonight as a diversion. Thank God I can watch something boring after those two action-packed baseball games. Think about the truth in that statement for a minute and then wonder why the NFL’s attendance and viewership is really dropping like a stone.
Right. Let’s do…the links!
So now we’re supposed to believe these things about Vegas:
The shooter acted alone
He put up security cameras in a Vegas hotel/casino hallway without anyone noticing
Nobody else helped him
He shot a security guard several minutes before his rampage in a hail of 200 bullets and the police never came upstairs and nobody in a room on the floor opened their door and called the front desk
His house was burgled just after the shooting but nothing important was taken
OK, sure thing. That all seems legit. Especially since the dude has absolutely none of the signs of a mass shooter and nothing else in the world makes any sense in this thing. I’m sorry, but this whole thing feels like someone is trying to feed me a pile of horseshit.
Spot the racism! Its there.
The latest hotbed of racism? Kellogg’s!!!! America’s cereal manufacturers have always been racist, so this shouldn’t be news. Those fucks at General Mills have been making fun of the drunken Irish since forever. And their “Kike Flakes” brand with the gold-dust coated flakes was obviously a bad idea in 1934.
Hey kiddos, I’m here to provide you with your daily dose of afternoon links! Won’t this be fun?
Speaking of kiddos, the Paddock family is really working hard at notoriety. The Vegas shooter’s brother is in the OMWC way currently having been arrested during an investigation of consumers of adult content featuring child actors.
The .in.mb family seat in rural NY now has a spectacularly named gun club for homos and trans-folk “Trigger Warning Queer and Trans Gun Club.” I’d rather see the membership and clout of the Pink Pistols grow, but I’ll take what I can get.
Well Game 1 is in the books. Three mistakes made in the entire game. Unfortunately, two of them were made by Dallas Keuchel. Verlander on the hill tonight for the good guys. Rich Hill up for the bad guys. Let’s all pray for another game getting done in 2:30. That part was awesome.
That’s all for sports. The world is going insane so I want to get right into…the links.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
What would you expect a bunch of autistic screechers to do on the anniversary of election day? Why, you’d expect them to autistically screech at the sky, of course. Not sure if they’re officially endorsing President Trump with this action or if the temper tantrum can be considered an in-kind political donation to his 2020 campaign. But I can assure you that a lot of Americans will be looking at this retarded act of petulance and will be leaning a little bit more toward the right after it.
Maybe I should have put this in the sports news. But it looks like Harvey Weinstein is a Red Wings fan. Good for him for finding a team and sticking with them even when times are tough for a year. I’m sure this divers…. (reads article) … oh my! Th-, that’s different. Oh my!
Homeless Advocate who makes $120,000 a year is now about to be homeless. I’m sure she’ll land on her feet. But after 20 years of working with Bay Area homeless people, she can’t afford to stay any more. Hey, maybe if you can’t get by on $120,000 a year, the rent is too damn high. Try getting the idiots in city hall to stop all the anti-landlord policies and idiotic housing regulations they have in place so maybe people like you can afford to stay. Oh, and after 20 years of working there with homeless people at a fat salary, you still have $60,000 in student loans? Methinks there’s something else going on here.
And lastly, I bring you: COLLUSION!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t know what else to call it. A political campaign hires a foreign intelligence agent to work on their behalf to dig up dirt on their opponent and then use that to further their political ambitions. But that’s not the best worst of it.
After the election, the FBI agreed to pay Steele to continue gathering intelligence about Trump and Russia, but the bureau pulled out of the arrangement after Steele was publicly identified in news reports.
You got that? The Obama FBI hired a foreign agent to dig up dirt on the president-elect, who Obama openly campaigned against, in an attempt to discredit him. This coupled with the fact that Obama’s intel agencies and UN Ambassador Susan Rice have admitted to having unmasked several Trump associates for no reason whatsoever and have admitted to having tapped several phones at Trump tower with no named suspect associated with any specific investigation. This is some serious Nixonian bullshit here. In a sane world, you’d have people hanging from lampposts around the DC metro area as a warning against this kind of perversion of our electoral systems. But instead I’m sure you’ll see justifications in Op-Eds across the nation.
That’s it for the links. As for the musical selection, Banjos is at a conference in Balmer. So this psychedelia is for her. But I hope the rest of you enjoy it. I know I did.
After experiencing the joys of the global workplace with an 11pm (EST) conference call, and my wonderful, coordinated 2 year-old who will not be kept in bed just because The Man says so when he wakes up at 4am, I’m a little punch drunk. Or maybe just drunk-drunk. I heard vodka and redbull worked like cocaine, so I thought I’d give it a shot. Or six.
The second best part of the Verlander trade
Florida Man takes semi-pro football pretty seriously. If Coach lived in Seminole Heights, he should be worried. I don’t know much about Seminole Heights other than I drive past it to go to the zoo.
Given that the FBI just dumped files on Adam Lanza, I suspect that we can expect that they don’t have shit on the Vegas shooter.
OMG! FEMA shipped packaged food with a long shelf life instead of Blue Apron to Puerto Rico where they may not have power or gas to cook with. Supplemented with MREs. Now, I don’t have personal experience, but everyone I know who had to subsist on MREs was more than happy to have beef jerky or cheese and crackers for a change.
When did aging Brit pop assholes become the voice of sanity? First Morrisey then Boy George?
“We have to be really careful with the Internet because people say everyone is talking – it’s like five people, they’re retweeting each other,” he told Israel’s Channel 2 News in an interview this week, “and that doesn’t constitute a revolution.”
Big ball game tonight. Will Lance McCullers Jr bring the same filthy pitching he closed down game 7 of the ALCS? Will the Yu Darvish of the Rangers era show up against the Astros or will he be the dominant pitcher he’s been post-Trade? Will we see another 3+ homerun night? Which, call me old fashioned, but I want to see less than 50% of the runs in a game result from homeruns. I like seeing guys have to put together two or three good at bats together to get a single run across the plate. Maybe the A/C will take 10 feet off those long hits and we’ll see more doubles off the wall.
Given the arrest rate of NFL players, I don’t see what’s so problematic about the statement 
