Category: Daily Links

Ah yes. The opening weekend of NFL football.  May its splendor forever wipe the stain from the earth that is the Ohio State Buckeyes showing against Oklahoma on Saturday night.  Hey coach, you do know you have a pair of 5-star QBs waiting in the wings, yeah? You do know our QB is allowed to lead receivers into open spots, yeah? You do know that someone can still be a team leader from the bench, yeah?  Just curious. Elsewhere, Clemson beat Auburn. USC beat Stanford. Georgia beat Notre Dame. And everybody else that was expected to win, did. Good for them.

Before the NFL, let’s talk some tennis. Rafael Nadal won the US Open and inched back within shouting distance of Roger Federer for overall Grand Slam wins (16 to Fed’s 19).  Those two truly are two of the best ever along with Sampras and Laver.  On the ladies side, Sloane Stephens took Madison Keys behind the proverbial woodshed and destroyed her.  So now we can all (mostly) forget about tennis until the Aussie open starts in 22 weeks.

In the pro pigskin league, Detroit rallied back against the Cards. The Iggles beat the Washington football team freaking Redskins. They beat the team called the Redskins. The Dirty Birds held off da Bears. The Jags crushed the Texans, but a little glimmer of hope arose at NRG with the QB change at halftime. The Bills topped the Jets. Raider Nation invaded Tennessee and came out victorious. Baltimore blanked the Bungles. The Rams mauled the Colts. The Panthers put it to the 49ers. The Packers took down the Seachickens. The Cowboys got the better of the Giants and the Steelers beat the Browns, and in doing so made Ben Roethlisberger the winningest QB in Cleveland’s stadium since 1999. (Not the winningest visiting QB…the winningest QB, period.) A couple more games tonight will round out the week.

On the diamond, the Astros got swept by the lowly Athletics. The BIG RED MACHINE won. The Nats clinched the NL East. The Twinks lost. The Brewers swept the Cubs and tightened up the NL Central. The Yankees drubbed the Rangers. The Dodgers continued their freefall with a tenth straight loss, falling to the Rockies. The D-backs returned to their winning ways. And the Indians reeled off their 18th straight win and moved to within 2 of the all-time record. They have three at home with the Tigers starting tonight.

That’s a lot of sports. And there’s plenty more, probably. But I won’t cover it. Instead, I’ll jump into…the links!

Hurricane Irma is creeping Northwest, according to the models. It sure looks to me like its making a beeline toward Jacksonville and the Atlantic.  But I’m sure the models are correct even though they missed the landfall guesstimate from Thursday by 400 miles or so. Stay tuned to the news if you’re within 100 miles of its projected path and prepare accordingly.  It’s breaking up, but it ain’t over.  Also, if its passed, please let us know you’re ok.

Pontiff plants puss on Popemobile Plexiglass. Video available for lulz.

ONLY READ THIS IF YOU WANT TO CRY!!! That’s a legit warning. Unless you’re ready to cry or want to read a story about the ultimate sacrifice and unselfishness, don’t click.

This is a really, really important court case that’s been flying under the radar. And a decision could come down today.  Keep us in the loop, Chicago Glibs.

Ghanian slot machines: Di box no dey spectacular, but im get shine-shine lights.

Finally a town is for sale in a civilized part of the country! And its named Mustang, Texas.  Break out your checkbooks, Glibs. We got a crowdfunding campaign to kick off.

Sometimes I’m right… and I can be wrong.

Forget all your problems for 5 minutes and just be happy you’re above ground…wherever you are.

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. BRUTAL ENFORCERS ARE STANDING BY TO AID THE CHOSEN ONES IN THE BRUTAL LAND OF PYTHONS AND METH. AND HURRICANES. OH…ALSO GATORS.

…

PERHAPS ZARDOZ NEEDS TO GET MORE ENFORCERS.

WHILE HE DOES SO, HE GIFTS YOU WITH THE LINK!

• TO THOSE BRUTALS SAYING THIS STORM IS PUNISHMENT FOR VARIOUS THINGS POLITICAL…EXPLAIN CUBA THEN.
• ZARDOZ WISHES FOR MORE TOM BRADY SAD FACE.
• BRUTAL RELIGIOUS LEADER BEATEN UP BY AN AUTOMOBILE.
• SPEAKING OF RELIGIOUS INJURIES.

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

Not exactly, but it’s not great out there, either. At least my sainted mother, hunkered down in Del Boca Vista, seems to be riding the thing out, with her main complaint being that she can’t get her favored roast chicken because Publix is closed. “If the storm destroys Glick’s, that would be OK because I just don’t like those people.” No links to storm news, y’all know what’s going on. Well, one link, anyway.

My prog friends, who were flabbergasted that I didn’t see any substantive difference between the Team Red authoritarian and the Team Blue authoritarian, have been busy spinning this week, desperately, as the Team Red guy demonstrated that he can run up the debt in a manner identical to their heroes. And just as they thought it was safe to come out, this hits the news. Spin harder, folks, spin harder. I’m sure this is totally different because reasons.

And I’m sure that this was about racism.

Jews make sky booms. Women and minorities hardest hit.

Speaking of which, we get deeper into Syria because of their imminent threat to the US. Isn’t it nice to see the wise foreign policy of Obama and Clinton be respected by Trump? Also speaking of which, isn’t it nice that we’re getting in the middle of every tribal squabble there? And doing it so, so well. Team Red, start your spinning.

And Today’s Tune from the insanely wonderful Eric Dolphy and Charlie Mingus, with my favorite pianist Jaki Byard doing his hard-bop/stride fusion like no-one else could.

DATE NIGHT AND STEVE SMITH NEED TO FIND HIKERS TO SCRATCH HIS ITCH. IN MEANTIME, HE FIND LINKS AND PLUGS BOOK BY BROTHER AND ANOTHER BY SOME LADY HE BARELY REMEMBER BUT LIKELY RAPED.

STEVE SMITH VERY VERY RELIEVED.

STEVE SMITH NOT LIKE HIKERS THAT FIGHT BACK.

“IRMA” NOT SOUND THREATENING ENOUGH. BETTER WAY TO MAKE PEOPLE RUN IS TELL THEM STEVE SMITH ON WAY.

SOMETIMES STEVE SMITH NOT QUITE KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

HEAR HIKER COMING. STEVE SMITH BE BUSY FOR A WHILE. HIKER WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER AND TREASURE SPECIAL MOMENT.

I have always laughed at my mother’s living situation, in the Pines of Del Mar Gables Phase II condos in lovely Del Boca Vista; it’s not a place, it’s a stereotype. At the moment, though, as Florida is about the get the blowjob of the century, I’m not laughing so much. She is one of those old Jewish ladies who isn’t going to let a little rain and wind keep her away from canasta, mah jongg,  and the condo clubhouse. So you’ll pardon the lack of my usual “he’s not that funny” commentary. That disclaimer given, here’s the links for the morning for all you non-Floridians who are still planted on terra firma.

WaPo points out that there’s a new kind of racism involved in immigration. “Illegal Immigration: It’s Not Just Beaners Any More.”

SP and I spent last night at an upscale cocktail bar where a couple friends of ours were playing a gig. And we found out about this when they played a cover of It Must Be Love. Fuck. Well, at least we still have Lou Reed.

Irrespective of the merits and demerits of the case, I am VERY uncomfortable with the idea of judges inserting themselves into employment disputes. And while I’m at it, fuck the Cowboys and Jerry Jones anyway. On the other hand, I love this, but I’m a sick fuck.

Poor David Puddy, he was born too soon.

And I’ll leave with a link to a song by someone you’ve never heard of, but should have if there were justice in this world. But there isn’t.

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. HOPEFULLY HIS CHOSEN ONES HAVE LEFT THE BRUTAL STATE OF FLORIDA’S COASTAL AREAS. ZARDOZ WOULD DIRECT YOU TO TAKE SHELTER BEHIND THE FORCE FIELD PROTECTING THE VORTEX. FAILING THAT, AT LEAST AVOID LOW GROUND. ZARDOZ HAS LIFTED YOU FROM BRUTALITY, TO GO FORTH AND SNARK. HE WOULD NOT SEE YOU HARMED.

AND TO SHOW FURTHER FAVOR ON HIS CHOSEN ONES, ZARDOZ GIVES YOU THE GIFT OF THE LINK:

• CHOSEN ONES IN CANADA WERE GOING TO CLEANSE BRUTALS, BUT THEN THEY PREPARED TO GET HIGH?
• THIS BRUTAL IS NOT ONE OF THE CHOSEN ONES.
• SOME BRUTALS CANNOT HANDLE BIG MONEY.
• ZARDOZ PREFERS TECHNOLOGY FROM THE TABERNACLE, NOT FROM APPLE.

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN!

It looks like the Road Warrior on my FB feed. I haven’t sawn off my shotgun just yet, but I am getting the bunker ready. Everyone in Florida stay safe. The rest of you Glibs go do something appropriately stupid and dangerous for us this weekend. I’m sure there will be some epic Florida Man stories to come out of this one. Hopefully, the funny and slightly painful, not the all-time Darwin Award winning. Let’s do… the links!

Is there nothing Hollywood won’t chew up and spit out an inferior version of? The musical was bad enough, but for fuck’s sake? These people are the new Heathers? Not a one could carry Heather Chandler’s jock-strap.

A small reminder that Floridian aren’t the only ones suffering. (Not a Patriots link)

Latest Fox News report on Great Korea. I was 90% certain they got confused by DPRK News Service, but apparently not. So sexist to only call a female politician a “political prostitute”.

They say music makes sex better. They’ve never accidentally left their whole music library on random during sex.

Should I go with the stupidly obvious, or just pretty obvious, or the old, tired standard?

A bunch of New England Patriots players must have homes in The Bahamas or something.  Because their heads were elsewhere last night as the Chiefs beat the piss out of them to start the season. And of course I have the Patriots defense in my FFL.  Meanwhile, Sloane Stephens knocked off Venus Williams (the gracious one of the two Williams sisters) and Madison Keys  also won to set up a 15 vs unseeded finals at the US Open.

On the diamond, The Yanks took care of the Orioles. The Nats topped the Phillies. The Cubbies topped the Pirates. The BIG RED MACHINE fell. The Padres beat the Cards while the Rockies beat the Dodgers, who have lost 10 of 11 now, and got a little separation again in the NL Wild Card race. The Twinks did the same while tripping up the Royals and the Indians reeled off their 15th straight win.

That last few weeks of the season is gonna be a nail-biter for some of you (Looking at the Twin Cities and the Denver contingent). I’ll enjoy the excitement as the Astros battle to see who gets home field in the AL now that Cleveland is en fuego.

Nothing else in the world of sport, unless you count hurricane survival as a sport.  But that’s not a sport, that’s news.  And for real news, we need…the links!

The main story hasn’t changed, unfortunately. There are still a few different tracks, and none of them spare Florida’s Miami-Dade area. Please stay safe out there, Florida Glibs.

Harvey: asshole. Irma: asshole. Actually that couldn’t be further from the truth. (Read this if your day needs brightening!)

A data breach at credit reporting agency Equifax could potentially effect 40% of Americans. That’s right. The breach made 143 million Americans credit info accessible.  And if that didn’t concern you, maybe the fact that a trio of executives at the company sold off $2m in their stocks in the immediate aftermath of the breach but before it was made public. The stock has since tumbled 13%. If only they were Congresspeople, then they wouldn’t have a problem. But since they’re not, this could potentially be messy.

An 8.0 earthquake hit a remote area of Mexico. “Remote” being the operative word, otherwise it would have been calamitous. Death toll at 5 so far.

Maybe USAToday could worry less about doxxing country club members and focus their energy on real, obvious cronyism and influence peddling. Nah, that’s like real journalism and stuff. Also principles over principals isn’t their bag, baby.

For Kenya, one witch doctor and three men don enter hot water. Naked witch doctors in the street. One with a snake around his neck. Car thieves.  Yeah, this one has it all.

I’m sure there will be no abuse whatsoever with this proposal. This plan sounds worse than the one in the last link.

So many options for the last song of the week. Hope I chose wisely.

Persevere.

With disaster porn completely consuming the news cycle, now is the time for us to stage a coup in a small nation and declare Glibertopia open for business! Or we could get ready to help our fellows as best we can over the next week or so. You make the call. We also have robc’s football guide coming later today. My beloved team(s) both underperformed last week by… a lot. I expect tonight’s guide will not be kind to them. And rightly so! Let’s us proceed to… the links!

Swedes find well preserved flag ship right where they buried it. They just forgot they where that was.

I have had the interview this is making fun of. Several times. “We need someone with three years experience on a technology that was released last year” is my other favorite.

I can’t tell whether this is a paranoid schizophrenic medication non-compliance episode or just a bunch of utter bullshit. What I can tell is that if this is the best the Bannonites have to strike back against the Generals with, the coup is over.

Amazon is literally going rent-seeking for its 2nd US Headquarters building. 

In what I assume is a Filipino take on both nepotism and public-private partnership, Duterte’s son has been linked to a $125M drug shipment. “What is good in life? Duterte?” “To murder the competitors of your children. To see innocent people executed so your son can get dictator rich. To hear the lamentations of drug warriors worldwide as they scream in betrayal.”

I was listening to way more depressing music. This one is kind of weird. But fun.

Well the Federer-Nadal semifinal plans got upset last night by Juan Martin del Potro. He took Federer down when the latter made a series of uncharacteristic errors and yakked away the third set even though he had seven chances to put it away.  And on the ladies side, its an all-American semifinal after Keys and Vandeweghe won their matches.  I don’t know what ESPN’s on-air personalities will do with themselves. They’ve been cheerleading for all four ladies for a week now. How are they gonna be able to pick sides now that they’ve got their wish?

In baseball, we’ve got two serious streaks going. The Indians ran theirs to 14 games with a win over the White Sox and the D-backs got their brooms out to sweep the Dodgers, extending theirs  to a team-record 13. Elsewhere, the BIG RED MACHINE took down the reeling Brewers. The Twinks got a big win against the Rays (while the Yankees and Orioles got rained out and the Angels lost!). The Cubbies only managed one run, but it was enough against the Bucs. The Red Sox had their smartwatches working against Team Canada. The Cardinals won and inched closer to the Rockies, who are most definitely looking over their shoulder after losing. The Nationals won. And lastly, the Astros remained hot, winning their seventh in a row.

We all have people we’re worried about in Florida, so let’s jump into that and more important stuff in…the links!

Irma’s track seems to be tightening and Miami is not gonna like what they are about to see. Expectations are for the storm to skirt the entire east coast of the state and then come inland around central Georgia to Charleston, SC.  But you never know with these things.  All you Glibs down that way, hunker down and keep us posted. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your loved ones.

Sometimes these storms bring out the best in people. And sometimes the exact opposite happens. I guess after Arpaio got pardoned and Clarke retired, this guy saw some shoes to fill. What an asshole.

Red states and Blue states face off in a civil settlement case over the Second Amendment.  Or something like that.

So USAToday is doxxing 4500 members of Trump golf courses. Why? Because apparently they get special access to the President.  And there are 50 execs of companies with government contracts on that list. So they’re obviously trying to buy influence.  You know, because no rich people ever joined exclusive country clubs before the Age Of Trump. Nosiree! They bought influence the old-fashioned way: by donating huge sums to foundations and by buying nights in the White House.

For Mexico, one man don do wedding with crocodile. You heard that right.

(It was covered yesterday, but here’s a bonus link from our new favorite place just for the title: Woman wan troway poo-poo, come trap for window. God, I love the internet.)

How do Texans feel about the demon weed? Pretty mellow, man.

Stickin’ with the theme for the week. (Which would have been easier if it hadn’t have been pre-empted on Monday.)

Lift something heavy today. And be proud of yourself for doing so.