Blog

  • Thursday Afternoon Links

    Happy Thursday. Someone on my Facebook wondered how Republican Senators can so hate America that they would try to keep the truth from coming out by having Jim Comey testify before a Senate Committee. Smart people type the dumbest things. I, also, hate America because well, look at the feckless pack of asshats that are selected as our leaders. What the fucking fuck? And for our 87% Canadian contingent, I don’t want to hear it. You guys are living out the Idiot Son stage, which puts you about 15 years behind us. Enjoy it.

    Not quite Trump and Coemy
    • The House looks to weaken Dodd-Frank. The Senate, being feckless morons, will screw it up.
    • The EU Central Bank will continue its stimulus plan — I guess because Mario Draghi is secretly a British Tory?
    • Which one of you perverts… oh wait, Mallorca. None of you can afford Mallorca. Subhed: Why American tabloids are inferior to British. The Brits would have social media pictures of the women looking cute. (Spanish girls, not Brits for those of you wondering about my use of “cute”)
    • Unintended consequences. US Soil Bank subsidy less profitable than farming. Private enterprise to blame.
    • This guy makes entirely too much sense, and as such will never be listened to. As a professional engineer, I’m sure he’s used to that.
  • James Comey: Jilted Lover or Spineless Chump?

    As far as I can tell, there is no other plausible explanation for his actions in retrospect.

    Many of you watched the hearing as I did. Hell, I think it was watched by half of America (not including John McCain apparently). And its hard for me to comprehend how there are any true winners or losers here from either a legal standpoint other than maybe Loretta Lynch losing some footing as being above partisanship when it comes to her department’s handling of the Clinton private email server investigation.

    John McCain in his natural state.

    But what should be attacked vigorously by any responsible authority tasked with oversight or any media talking head is Comey’s ability to be a man and do his job with any form of integrity whatsoever. Because he completely contradicted prior sworn testimony today by suggesting that Trump was attempting to influence him. And that he should have carried himself differently many times with interactions with the President in regards to how he reacted and how he reported (or failed to report) what he perceives months later as attempts to coerce or manipulate the FBI head into dropping investigations.

    I’m sure there is some sense of being awe-struck by someone being summoned to the White House. I would like to think I’d be immune to that, but you never know. But the head of the nation’s federal law enforcement apparatus should never be of that mindset unless he is feeling guilty about something. He has spent his life climbing into situations and relationships that are complicated and him being somehow cowed by a President he believes is acting in an unprofessional and borderline-illegal way defies common sense.

    I swear to tell the truth. Even if its different than the “truth” I told the last time I was under oath here.

    Which leads me to my personal opinion: Comey is changing his tune because he feels like he was wronged. He deliberately leaked government property to a friend so they could be sent to the media. He allowed erroneous leaks to remain in the news in order to damage a President he didn’t care for. He contradicted prior sworn testimony in an attempt to change the public narrative on meetings that he considered “notingburgers” until he was fired to “possible attempts at coercion” in the aftermath of that termination.

    Whatever your thoughts about Donald Trump are, whatever you think his relationship with the Russians was, and whatever you think the Democrats are attempting to accomplish here, one thing should be taken away by anybody with an ounce of brains: Comey is gutless or Comey is grinding his axe. I’ve made my decision. Please discuss yours in the comments.

  • Thursday Morning Links

    Kevin Durant with a dagger.  I mean a fucking dagger through the heart of Cavs fans.  That series is as good as over and a perfect postseason looks likely. I don’t care how soft the west playoffs were due to injuries, that feat is all but unheard of. Penguins – Predators tonight! Somebody text me updates, please. I’ll be among people living and dying in 3/4 time.

    I was right about Djoker yesterday. And Murray looks unstoppable. Maybe he should have had his racquet on London Bridge the other day.  And finally, ESPN poses an interesting question. Interesting in that I sure hope we don’t have a “next one” on our team. After all, we had three D-backs drafted ahead of him and every one of them had a lot more than one career interception and an 0-3 record against their biggest rival. But they gotta hype that program for some reason. And as an aside, Bob Stoops inexplicably pulled the plug yesterday. His last loss was to The Ohio State Buckeyes. Let’s hope his replacement’s first loss is to the same team.

    Anyway, enough about TTUN sucking. We all know that fact already. So I’ll bring you some new information with…the links!

    James Comey

    Comey prepared testimony completely vindicates President Trump.  No, wait. I meant to say Comey prepared testimony set to destroy President Trump. (TW: HuffPo) No wait, that can’t be it either.  Oh fuck it, you decide.

    Teresa May makes her final plea to voters on Limetree Island. Day set to either be a catastrophe for the Tories or the greatest defeat to Labour since forever. There is no middle ground, goddammit! Its got to be one or the other.

    In late breaking “actions have consequences, dumbass” news, reporter devastated after she gets the axe.

    Senate committee chairman tells poor, little woman to shut her bitch mouth enforces committee rules on questioning witnesses. Twitter goes into a meltdown. Women, minorities hardest hit.

    Rosie O’Donnell

    Some people will do anything to stay relevant. I’m just spitballing here, but I personally believe she’d do a better job if she set herself on fire in protest in front of the White House. And she’d be doing a public service!

    In celebration of the show tonight, you will get a few little ditties today.

    Dance with me! Dance with me!

    Good times and riches and sonofabitches!

    There’s no place like home when you’re this far away.

    Parrothead time.

    Have a great day, friends!

  • The Hat and The Hair Extended Universe: Princess of Darkness

    Hillary’s saggy bulk shifted uncomfortably in her and Huma’s vast and piss-misted bed while Huma snored on oblivious. As series of faint whimpering cries brought Huma near consciousness enough for her to snort out a hitch in her breathing. She reached out and touched a sweaty fold in Hillary’s luscious back-fat without really waking and fell back into a deeper cycle of sleep. Hillary cried out faintly, unable to escape her nightmare.

    “This is not a dream,” the impersonal voice said in Hillary’s sleeping mind, echoing and tinny, fading in and out, “Not a dream. We are using your brain’s electrical system as a receiver. We are unable to transmit through conscious neural interference. You are receiving this broadcast as a dream. We are transmitting from the year two, zero, two, zero.”

    Donald’s face under a field of static. He was smiling. He was waving.

    The voice continued: “You are receiving this broadcast in order to alter the events you are seeing. Our technology has not developed a transmitter strong enough to reach your conscious state of awareness, but this is not a dream.”

    A beige map of the United States unfolded, each state outlined, Hawaii and Alaska floating awkwardly in a vanished Mexico. One by one every state turned red. Blood red. Republican red. Hillary reached out to grab the map, to crumple it. It eluded her every grasping swipe.

    The voice took on an insistent tone that cut through the static like molten steel poured on young flesh: “You are seeing what is actually occurring for the purpose of causality violation.”

    Hillary saw her own face now, frozen like a stone in grief. Chelsea clung to her arm, shaking with sobs. Huma, her face drawn and gaunt, her hair gone gray, was back a step and to the side. Balloons fell in slow motion. Huma raised a gun and opened her matte red lips to accept it.

    “You are seeing what is actually occurring for the purpose of causality violation.”

    Static rose like an army of enraged wasps.

    “You are seeing what is actually occurring for the purpose of causality violation.”

    As Huma’s brains sprayed across the blue curtain spread out behind them on the stage, Hillary saw herself turn, throwing Chelsea down. Before the Hillary on the stage could turn to kneel by her lover, the back of her pantsuit heaved and split. Static. Tentacles, pink and bloody, vomited out of her. The shot changed to a CNN anchor gone pale. She stared into the camera and suddenly threw up what looked like milk streaked with vile.

    “Causality violation,” the voice said, “This is not a dream. You must change the future. You must change the future. You must change this future.”

    Hillary screamed then, in their bedroom, fighting up out of the dream like surfacing from a cold lake. She was shivering. Huma gasped and sat up.

    “What is it, my love? What is it, my desert flower?” she whispered.

    “I’ve just gotten a message, Huma,” Hillary said haltingly through deep breaths, “I have to run in 2020. I have to.”

  • Rainy Days and Wednesdays Afternoon Links

    Its been raining for days and days. I’m ready for a little sun. This ain’t England.

    Sunshine State my a**
    Go home, tourist!
    • These geniuses from Tallahassee want “a white ethnostate”. Main color of their flag is black. Probably the guys googling “wbony porm” all day.
    • Speaking of assholes in Tallahassee, it looks like Florida lawmakers are going to be dragged kicking-and-screaming into passing an MMJ statute that the citizenry voted for last year. Of course its going be a shitfest with only 10 grower licenses and such, but its nice to see them deigning to change the law to match the (state) constitution.
    • In other Florida news, invasive crocodiles, like migrant humans threaten the less-aggressive local population. Wait, something about that analogy isn’t right…
    • Two major terrorist attacks in Iran. It looks like the Iran-Saudi war of influence is getting hot. This is not going to be good if true.
    • WaPo remembers when Progressives in Portland wore white hoods to cover their faces instead of black. Weirdly, this is somehow recast as right-wingerism.

      Portland Antifa
    • Australian columnist takes exception to assault. Good. I mean, not good that political violence is increasing, but good that attacking someone while wearing a mask gets a fight.

     

    Rainy days and Tallahassee make me think of this. Here’s a little something from a friend of mine. (She is definitely NOT a white nationalist)

  • The Hat and The Hair: Episode 47

    “Coats! Comey! Sessions! They are all against me!” Donald screamed in the Oval Office.

    He picked up a bust of Eisenhower and threw it at one of the windows. It bounced off the tough glass and fell to the floor impotently, like a hollow metaphor.

    herp

    “All against me,” he yelled at the Presidential pillow humping couch. Jr. and Eric huddled together on it, clawing at each other in panic.

    “Bright lights!” Jr. yelped.

    “Loud noises!” Eric agreed.

    Donald snatched the hair from his head and wrung it in his hands with anxiety.

    “What are we going to do?” he asked his idiot sons, “I can’t trust anyone. They all turn on me in the end, they all betray me.”

    “Ivanka,” Eric whispered. He had wet her bed until he was 15.

    “Jared,” Jr. whispered, afraid that the fearsome bust of Dime Man would be thrown at him.

    “They are already doing what they can,” Donald replied. He had twisted the hair into a rope and was slapping against his leg as he stalked back and forth.

    “You two are just going to have to step up,” Donald said.

    He tossed the mess of hair onto his desk and picked up his beloved MAGA hat. He crossed to the couch and jammed it down on Jr.’s head roughly.

    “You are going to be Attorney General after I get rid of Jeffy,” Donald said.

    “I don’t wanna, Papa,” he said miserably. He thought about getting a blowjob on a speedboat and began to cry.

    durr

    Donald pointed at Eric. “And you will be Director of National Intelligence,” he said. “You’re smart, right? Like, national intelligence smart at least.”

    Eric nodded dumbly. He thought about calling Ivanka, but Papa got mad when he talked on his phone. He would tell her later. She would be proud of him, he thought. She might even leave Jared before Eric had to try and have him killed again.

    “Where’d he go?” Donald asked Jr., pointing at a staring Eric, but Jr. only shook his head.

    “I should have put you both in a sack when you were little and thrown you in the river,” Donald muttered.

    “Yes, Papa,” they both said in nauseating harmony.

    The hat fell off Jr.’s carefully shellacked dome of hair and landed on the couch, upside-down like a helpless turtle.

  • Wednesday Morning Links

    Pretty much nothing happened in the sports world  yesterday except the Astros inexplicably lost a game they were easily winning. And some dude named Scooter from the Reds went completely insane with the bat.  I don’t mean he went off in a bad way. Dude went yard four times!

    And in case any of you care about tennis, Djoker is in trouble this morning in Paris. Meanwhile the women are also playing but its pretty much down to a bunch of randoms since Serena is knocked up and its the French Open.

    No basketball. No hockey. No college baseball (go Noles and Frogs! according to my unscientific fan poll yesterday) for another couple days. Let’s all try to get through together.

    Sports are done? YAY! Now we get the links!

    OK, that was weak. Let’s all hope it gets better when I bring you…the links!

    Roy Larner: Hard Man

    Fuck you, I’m Millwall! Nothing else needs to be said. Oh wait, one question: did they give his balls their own wheelchair when they released him from hospital, or did they have two nurses there to carry them individually?

    I might believe some of this if there were one single cited source used. Also I might believe it if it didn’t involve a grown man, and one of the most powerful grown men in the world from a political standpoint, begging another grown man to not leave him alone with someone else. Because unless that other man is Hannibal Lector, all it means if that the requester is a big, giant pussy. Or the story is total bullshit. There can be no third explanation that I can think of.

    Meanwhile, in another story where there are only third-hand accounts and no record of the subjects bringing it to the attention of anyone important…well, read for yourself. Lots of conjecture and “familiar with his way of thinking” going on again. But its WaPo, so what do you expect?

    (Alright, we’re three links in and only one of the stories involves somebody with balls. And its not even an American with a lot of power. Its a commoner from Millwall!)

    Here’s a little Reality for you. Family shocked!

    Church puts message on sign. Shitstorm ensues. Church explains message. Shit-stormers not impressed.

    Shandy Cobane: Soft as baby shit

    Taxpayers fucked over. Apparent shitbags get to keep shitbagging while sucking on government teat. Pretty much life as usual for the Seattle area.

    I’ll wait till tomorrow to get the tequila and limes out for boat drinks. Instead I’ll explain how Banjos and I met. Although we named our kids better.

    Have a great day, friends! And try to be more like the guy in the first link instead of the people in the rest of them. Except the music one. That guy os alright.

  • Jewsday Tuesday: The Shiksa Takeover

    Since OMWC clearly feels that professional obligations are more important than his Jewsday Tuesday gig here at Glibertarians HQ, I am taking it upon myself to provide you with a post.

    People often ask me, “What’s it like being married to OMWC? How much impact does his Jewiness have on the relationship and daily life?”

    In no particular order, here are the pros and cons.

    CONS

    • There is no Jew Gold. WTF? Perhaps it’s just being rather well hidden?
    • OMWC bursts randomly into songs/chants in an ancient language that no shiksa could possibly be expected to understand. And he’s not that good a singer.
    • His mother lives in Del Boca Vista.
    • He thinks he’s really very funny because “all the best comedians are Jews.” He’s not funny. I try to get people to not politely laugh at his jokes because it only serves to encourage him.
    • He invites the Elders of Zion over for strategy sessions.
    • He dresses our poor little dog in a Jew Hat and Jew Scarf.

    PROS

    • Latkes
  • Tuesday Afternoon Links

    Man, what a week. I just passed the 20 hour mark around noon. Friday afternoon might be, er, “flex time”. Or I might still be working my arse off.

    This is just a peaceful brick-layer en route to protest, right?

    It looks like our slide (back) into political mobs street fighting is continuing. Is it racist of me to notice that the vast majority of these people are white?

    Bob Dylan delivers his Nobel Lecture to get his Nobel money. As best I can tell, he said, “I stole it all from Buddy Holly and black folk singers”

    Paris cops shoot hammer-wielding man in Notre Dame. Apparently it was not Bob Maloogaloogaloogaloogaloogalooga.

    Man chokes bride over wedding gifts. Not Florida Man (he used his hands), or Grand Moff Serious Man.

    I have today’s newest health scare. (For you non-followers, “Aluminum Should be Considered a Primary Factor for Alzheimers”, type: editorial) My take: I assume this is for people who grind/manipulate aluminum and not oxidized aluminum in food preservation, but its hard to tell. I’ll take my chances with aluminum food preservation rather than foodborne illnesses

    Interesting outlier poll from WaPo predicting British Conservatives pick up about 20 seats. We’ll see. Just because the old polls were not predictive doesn’t mean the new ones are.

  • Qatar $#&*storm

    The past two weeks have not been kind to Qatar. The strange little appendage off the Arabian Peninsula has had its landward side cut-off by everyone’s favorite neighbors, the Saudis. They also got a big middle finger up from Arab heavyweight Egypt, and other neighborhood states Bahrain, Yemen (such as it is) and the UAE. Mind you, this is a state that imports almost 100% of its food. So this is going to come to a head, quite rapidly.

    Some of the oddities you will find about this place;

    • 90% of the people there are NOT Qatari (which is why over a quarter of the population is Hindu or Christian – think imported labor).
    • Only a bit over a quarter of the populace are women
    • YUUUGE natural gas reserves
    • Oh yeah, US CENTCOM happens to have an interest in the area (I was too stupid to take a 4 day pass and go there, when I was in Iraq in 2008)

    This has all the elements of a perfectly toxic brew of regional influence struggles, a possible humanitarian disaster and all sorts of nasty knock-on effects.

    I will have to say, I was quite surprised this came to a head so quickly. I think the Saudis are striking while the anti-Iran Trump iron is hot. The war in Yemen is not going well, so they figure it is time to snip off one supporter of the Houthi rebels.

    Keep an eye on this one folks – it could get damned ugly, real fast if one side or the other doesn’t give, soon.