Glibertarians.com 2017 Archive

Category: Food & Drink

  • My New Fetish




    Interracial Milk Bathing

  • Review – Dayglow IPA: That Label…Judas Titty F—ing Priest

     

    Seriously. Look at it.  How can I not pick this up?

    The Holy Diver of beers

    This is my review of Elysian DAYGLOW IPA.

    Here’s where I rant a bit.  Yes, this is an IPA, which means about half of you will avoid it to begin with.  The other half?  There are so many choices out there from so many breweries it’s hard to separate the men from the boys, so to speak.  Let’s face it, this isn’t exactly a niche market anymore.  According to the studies cited in this article the craft beer industry in 2016 contributed $67.8 Billion to the U.S economy.  It is responsible for nearly ½ million full time jobs nationwide. It’s still a fraction of the beer industry overall though, which in 2016 was estimated at $350 Billion in total.

    Rejoice!  Too bad though, the downside is there has to be something, anything, to catch the customer’s eye.  This one is eye catching.  It’s got a frickin tiger with frickin laser beams coming out of its frickin eyes…

    It’s the eye of the tiger! On acid!

    As you can tell from my photo there isn’t much head and much to Charlie Sheen’s dismay, it is 0% tiger’s blood by volume.  It’s a hazy yellow and has a bit of sweet fruitiness (pineapple, maybe) and yeast upfront, like an unfiltered wheat beer.  From the standpoint of hop insanity, this one will disappoint the hopheads among us.  You smell them; you certainly know they are there but they aren’t going prompt questions from the authorities as to your mental state–your driving erratically on the sidewalk will do that.  Overall it’s a pretty balanced brew, but given it’s bitchin 1970s psychedelic label it seems like they are trying way too hard to sell me something.  Elysian DAYGLOW IPA 2.8/5.

    Another one I was disappointed by was from Stone.  Typically, I like what they put out.  While insulting their customers is the norm for them, lately it’s gone beyond their usual ribbing and ventured clearly into virtue signaling. This is part of an annual release of the winner of a contest between their employees, so I’ll hold my nose and give them a shot.

    The flavor palate on this one is similar to Elysian’s but the hops on the back end are a bit more robust.  Still a bit disappointing given what they are capable of.  Stone Merc-Machine Double IPA: 2.9/5

     

     

     

    P.S. About my OT last week.

    I think it came out just fine.  3 ½ minutes per pound.  The temperature was all over the place after I pulled the turkey out so it was at approximately 350F.  When I dropped it in it was at 380, so I closed the valve and let it settle around 350, but had to fire the gas back up once it dropped to 325 ten minutes later.  Total cook time was 18 mins.

    For those that like it rare, here is your beloved center cut.

    Here’s Mr. Gobbles while I’m at it.

  • Christmas Food in Romania

    Fatty fatty piggy and some cheese
    Cold cuts, don’t forget the mustard

    “What is Romanian Christmas food?” is the question everyone asks. Well, since I did one of these things for Easter, I figured I might as well do one for Christmas. When all you heathens and heretics eat Chinese food and prime ribs and such, Eastern Orthodox do what God intended: slaughter a pig. It is rather traditional for any Romanian family of some size – well, older folk, I suppose, not kids these days… – to buy a whole pig, usually not from an industrial farm but from relatives in the country or a small farmer (we still call ’em peasants here). The pig is prepared nose to tail and little is wasted, to form a very large Christmas feast, which often results in the ambulance being called due to overeating (though never in my family).

    Lard, pure and simple

    So I will talk of the food I know. Other Romanians families may have somewhat different traditions. This year Christmas was a sad one as it was the first since my father passed away, but my mother and I decided to try to keep Christmas as close to usual as possible. We only got less than half a pig, though. We could have gotten a whole and frozen most of it, but I prefer cooking from fresh meat so I don’t freeze much. The pictures are not good – taken by phone and I don’t know shit about taking pictures – but the food is tastier than it looks.

    The liver

    The first meal of the day – usually around 9 AM – consists of what we call mezeluri, could be translated as cold cuts.  This includes leber (from the German word for liver, I think) which is basically the pig’s liver boiled and minced very fine, mixed with some pig fat minced very fine, some onion chopped fine and sauteed a little in oil, plus five eggs (for the average pig liver), beaten. This makes a liver pate-like paste which is then stuffed in a pig intestine and boiled as a whole for a bit more. Toba – meaning drum – may be similar to what you call head cheese in looks. It is made from parts of the pig’s head and trotters, plus years for the gristle –  gristle gives texture – boiled, chopped up roughly, stuffed into the pig’s stomach and boiled a little more. Șorici is basically raw pig’s skin, packed in salt for a few days – the pig is generally seared in order to remove the hair, so the skin may be slightly cooked in the process. Slănină is basically what Italians may call lardo – just less sophisticated, raw pig fat with a little skin attached, also slightly salt cured. Hard salty cheese and raw onion complete the meal, usually alongside bread and țuica.

    Never let a good animal stomach go to waste
    Drumroll…
    Romanian sausage is bigger than American
    Caltabos

    The second meal -around 12 – is of caltaboș, a thick boiled sausage. It is reasonably fatty pig’s meat minced more roughly, mixed with rice, seasoned with salt and pepper, stuffed in a piece of large intestine and boiled in a broth of mainly water, onions and a bay leaf. This is eaten hot with a squeeze of fresh lemon and some grated horseradish (fresh horseradish just grated and mixed with some salt and a little white wine vinegar). Generally, unlike sausage, the intestine casing is not eaten, and neither is the broth, which is used for cooking. Although red wine works better with pork, in my family we usually drink white with this one.

     

    Simple yet tasty
    Pie’s special meat ‘n sausage

    Around two or three, the sarmale come – stuffed cabbage leaves cooked with some tomato juice and wine. Red wine usually accompanies this meal, and sometimes a hot pepper to take the occasional bite out of.

    In the evening, stomach room permitting, the final meal is usually some roast or grilled pork – ribs in general – and sausage. The sausage is a simple but delicious affair, a mix of fatty pork and beef with salt, pepper, garlic and paprika. This is generally eaten alongside pickles. With this part, red wine continues to be drunk.

    Bet you don't see many of those in the US
    Gogosar and friends

    As dessert, traditionally it is cozonac (I mentioned it in my Easter post, it is, if I remember my Seinfeld, maybe similar to what polish call babka). More red wine here, if you can handle it, which many cannot. Cozonac goes well with red wine. The saying goes in Romania the only thing better in life than cozonac with wine is just wine.

    So that is about it, did not feel like writing a longer post so this will have to do. How Romanians gain weight during the winter holidays.

    Oh wait, almost forgot the picture of cozonac…

     

  • Review – Rogue Santa’s Private Reserve

     

    I can never understand the obsession with Santa Claus. Since this is the right time of year and since associating products with Christmas is lazy but effective marketing, there’s no sense in fighting it.

    See? Lazy marketing, and I fell for it.

    This is my review of Rogue Santa’s Private Reserve Ale. Go ahead and pretend I drove 2 1/2 hours north just to take this photo.

    Even as a kid it seemed a dubious task: one extremely obese man flies around the world delivering presents to all the good girls and boys on a single night. As an adult, unless Santa Claus holds the key to traveling between time and space it’s downright impossible. Besides, what does he do with the other 364 days out of the year? For one thing, Santa is actually an avid shooter. Here is a photo of him at the 2016 Las Vegas Shot Show:

    “You may think there’s no such thing as Santa…”

    He also spends his time in the summer riding the open road. Here he is at the annual Sturgis rally:

    “…But as for me and grandpa, we believe.”

    Santa has a lot going for him, and since he is a pretty high profile guy crisscrossing international airspace every year, the good folks at NORAD track his every move. Even if they started tracking him by accident, its once again proof there is nothing left to cut.

    In previous years, this beer was a pretty standard winter lager. There was nothing wrong with it, and Rogue probably managed to sell every ounce of the stuff. Despite this, they determined that 2017 would be the year they change it up. Maybe they got tired of people comparing it to Sam Adams Winter Lager or the overall market saturation this time of year with winter lager-I don’t know.

    Whatever the reason it was a good move, as the result is something much better in my opinion. It is now a Belgian-style ale. It is very fragrant, with notes of sour fruit. They list cherry and raspberry specifically. It is definitely a malty beer, but the tartness counters the overall sweetness nicely. Like everything else this time of year, it only comes once so find it while you still can. Unless you are the type that thinks Scrooge got soft and the Grinch was a poser, you’ll enjoy this. Rogue Santa’s Private Reserve 2017: 4.5/5

    And if you do think Scrooge got soft and the Grinch was a poser, here’s some girls at Sturgis peddling Jack Daniels:

    Merry Christmas!

  • Easy Last-Minute Food Gifts, Part the Second

    Today I present some simple-yet-tasty spice mixes that make great gifts. For an extra pretty presentation, layer the ingredients in a decorative container without mixing. Make sure you include instructions to mix thoroughly before using!

    But, wait, there’s more! Scroll down for a special bonus chai spice mix from Webdominatrix.


    SP's Taco Seasoning

    • 2 tbsp powdered chiles (I use a mix of aji amarillo and smoked red savina)
    • 1-1/2 tbsp ground cumin
    • 1-1/2 tbsp paprika (smoked or plain, hot or not)
    • 1 tbsp onion powder
    • 1 tbsp garlic powder
    • 1/4 tsp ground cayenne pepper

    1. To make: In a small bowl, combine all ingredients thoroughly.

    2. Store in an airtight container.

    3. To use: Add 2 tbsp (or to taste) to season one pound of a protein for taco filling. 


    SP's Creole Inspired Seasoning

    • 2-1/2 tbsp paprika (I like to use smoked, hot paprika)
    • 2 tbsp garlic powder
    • 2 tbsp salt
    • 1 -1/4 tbsp ground black pepper
    • 1 tbsp onion powder
    • 1 tbsp ground habanero pepper (or drop the heat with cayenne or premade chili powder)
    • 1 tbsp dried thyme
    • 1 tbsp dried oregano

    1. To make: Combine all ingredients thoroughly. Store in an airtight container.

    2. To use: Sprinkle on proteins or sandwiches, to taste.



    Old Harbor Seasoning

    • 2 tablespoons bay leaf, powdered
    • 2 tablespoons celery salt
    • 1 tablespoon dry mustard
    • 2 teaspoons ground black pepper
    • 2 teaspoons ground ginger
    • 2 teaspoons smoked paprika
    • 1 teaspoon white pepper
    • 1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
    • 1 teaspoon ground cloves
    • 1 teaspoon ground allspice
    • 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
    • 1/2 teaspoon ground mace
    • 1/2 teaspoon ground cardamom
    • 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

    1. To make: Combine all ingredients thoroughly. 

    2. Store in an airtight container.

    3. To use: Add to seafood and other dishes to taste.



    SP's Rosemary Lemon Seasoning

    • 1/4 cup dried rosemary
    • 1 tbsp kosher salt
    • 1 tbsp garlic powder
    • 1-1/2 tsp dried lemon zest
    • 1/2 tsp black pepper

    1. To make: Place all ingredients in a spice grinder or blender jar. Process until finely ground. (If layering for presentation, grind the rosemary and lemon peel.)

    2. Store in an airtight container.

    3. To use: Sprinkle on proteins or vegetables to taste.


    Webdominatrix's Chai Spice Mix

    • 4 tsp ground cardamom
    • 3 tsp ground ginger
    • 3 tsp ground cinnamon
    • 2 tsp vanilla powder
    • 1.5 tsp ground allspice
    • 1 tsp ground nutmeg
    • 1 tsp ground cloves
    • 1/8 tsp sea salt
    • 1/8 tsp ground black pepper

    1. To make: Mix thoroughly and store in an airtight container.

    2. To use: Add 1 tsp to a cup of black tea.


  • Easy Last-Minute Food Gifts, Part the First

    Need a quick and easy gift for the holidays? Consumables are a great option. Here are three variations on a nutty theme.

    I’ll be posting some other last minute food gift recipes later in the week.



    Spicy Pecan Praline Bites

    • 2 cups pecan halves
    • 1/2 cup brown sugar
    • 1/4 cup heavy cream
    • 2 tsp maple syrup
    • 1 tsp smoked habanero powder
    • 1 tsp salt
    1. Mix all ingredients together thoroughly. Spread mixture on a baking
    2. sheet with a silicone baking sheet.
    3. Bake at 350° for 20 minutes stirring a couple times.
    4. Remove from oven and cool completely. Store in airtight container.
    I bump up the habanero powder quite a bit, but you could use less, or sub in cayenne or a less spicy option such as smoked paprika.

    Candied Cashews

    • 2 cups whole cashews
    • 1 egg white
    • 1 tsp water
    • 2/3 cup granulated white sugar
    • 1/4 tsp salt
    • 1/2 tsp cinnamon

    1. Preheat oven to 325F. Line a baking sheet with a silicone baking mat or parchment paper.

    2. Beat egg white with the water in a medium bowl until foamy and light.

    3. Add the cashews, sugar, salt and cinnamon to the bowl. Stir thoroughly; nuts should be completely coated.

    4. Spread the mixture as evenly as possible on the baking sheet. Bake for about 30 minutes or until nuts are beginning to caramelize.

    5. Remove from the oven and allow nuts to cool.  Store in an air tight container.

    Chile Pecan Brittle

    • 1 cup sugar
    • 1/2 cup light corn syrup
    • 1 1/2 cups pecans
    • 1 tablespoon butter
    • 1/4 teaspoon salt
    • 1 teaspoon vanilla
    • 1 teaspoon smoked habanero powder (or other chile powder)
    • 1 teaspoon baking soda

    1. Prepare a baking sheet with a silicone baking mat. Spray a silicone spatula with nonstick cooking spray. 

    2. Place sugar and corn syrup in a large microwave safe bowl. The mixture will expand quite a bit while cooking. 

    3. Microwave the uncovered bowl  on high for 4 minutes.

    4. Stir in pecans, butter, salt, vanilla and chile powder. Microwave on high for 4 minutes and 30 seconds.

    5. Working quickly, remove the bowl from the microwave and thoroughly stir in the baking soda. The mixture will foam.

    6. Rapidly pour the mixture onto the prepared baking sheet, spreading as thinly and evenly as possible.

    7. Allow to cool completely.

    8. Break the brittle into pieces and store in an air tight container.

    I use a 1100 watt microwave. If using a lower-powered device, you will need to adjust the cooking time.

    The spice level can be easily adjusted by varying the type and quantity of chile powder.

    Clean up is most easily accomplished by first soaking the bowl and spatula in very hot water.

  • Review – Goose Island Bourbon County Stout

    This is my review of Goose Island Bourbon County Stout.

    Barrels are one of oldest inventions in use today.  Herodotus is credited with the earliest written account over the use of barrels to transport wine, during the 5th century BC (or BCE if you are so inclined). The barrel itself may have origins further into antiquity due to evidence the Egyptians used buckets with slats held together by a metal ring dating to 2690 BCE.  There isn’t much of a jump between a bucket’s design and a barrel, simply build your bucket higher, curve the slats, add another ring and give it a lid.  Your bucket is now a barrel.

    It is difficult to say who built it first.  Some believe an iron age civilization such as the Celts or the Vikings.  Others credit the Romans, who previously transported wine in clay jugs.  The word for the tradesman, Cooper, after all comes from the Latin word Cupa, which means cask.  And of course there is always this theory…

    Whoever it was, modern tools and processes aside, this is an invention that has remained virtually unchanged for centuries. 

    Falling further down the rabbit hole, gun barrels were initially built in a similar fashion.  Due to the medieval guild system, where tradesman rarely worked with others outside the guild, lest they learn the trade secrets, coopers were consulted to build barrels for hand cannons.  The earliest design was constructed by slabs of metal arranged in a cylinder with metal collars welded around the cylinder for strength.  Later designs where a cylindrical blank was bored out, followed by rifling to cut into the bore was developed when the tools, techniques and metallurgy allowed for the modern design.  This is why gun barrels are called barrels.

    This is no ordinary stout.  It is aged in a bourbon barrel that otherwise would spend the next 30 years in Scotland turning whisky into something that smells like burnt leather boots. This is a 14.5% abv beast that has a high enough alcohol content and is complex enough that a disciplined drinker can age this similar to wine for up to 5 years–per the instructions on the bottle.  The bottle itself is well done.  Instead of settling on the standard bomber, they opted to have their own fashioned with their name permanently embossed in the bottle.  This tells me no corner was cut, no expense was spared in crafting this…and I slammed it down with a beer bong!

    Like a champ

    No, not really.  They call for a brandy snifter but the one I have is sized to hold an ounce of liquor so I called the trusty chalice out of the bullpen.  The beer pours like used 10w30.  Its nose reminds me of fresh cut wood, whiskey, fruitcake and chocolate.  You are greeted with an intense rush of sweet bourbon and finishes with like a smooth imperial stout.  It’s really difficult to describe it, so you have to try one of these yourself.  It is crafted in the manner of old where a craftsman, expert in his trade, puts everything he has into every project and gives his customer the best quality work possible.  It’s a limited release for 2017 so I bought another the following morning to keep in my liquor cabinet.  It costs $10 now, but if you find it later….Goose Island Bourbon County Stout 4.9/5.

  • Best Damn Fruitcake Recipe on the Interwebs

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    I love fruitcake. My grandmother was quite a remarkable baker, so I never had the horrible commercial fruitcake that many of my friends grew up with.

    This recipe is a compilation, but is the absolute best I’ve ever had, mainly due to the long maceration of the dried fruits and the ripening. Theoretically, it would have been better to start this right after Halloween for Christmas consumption, but it’s still possible to make it for New Year’s Day, if you don’t dawdle, but longer ripening is better. Oh, and the first step takes a week. Hop to it!

    This makes about 4 standard loaf pans, but you can adapt it to any baking vessel. Just make sure you keep an eye on it and don’t over bake.

    Properly attended to, fruitcake can be stored safely for literally years. We recently finished eating the last fruitcake of my batch from last Christmas. I store my fruitcakes in the wine cellar and bathe them with alcohol throughout the year.

    Best Damn Fruitcake Recipe on the Interwebs

    Give up on all other versions. This is the one you need.

    • 2 cups pitted dates
    • 2 cups candied lemon rind
    • 2 cups candied orange rind
    • 1.5 cups dried apricots
    • 1.5 cups dried figs
    • 1.5 cups candied cherries
    • 1.5 cups candied pineapple
    • 1.5 cups candied citron
    • 1 cup crystallized ginger
    • 3 cups raisins
    • 3 cups dried currants
    • 2.5 cups Grand Marnier
    • 3 cups Cognac
    • 2.5 cups flour
    • 1 tsp. baking powder
    • 3 tbsp. cocoa powder
    • 1 tsp. ground cloves
    • 1 tsp. ground cinnamon
    • 1 tsp. ground mace
    • 3 tsp. powdered instant espresso
    • 1 lb. butter
    • 2.25 cups dark brown sugar
    • 9 eggs
    • 1.25 cups molasses
    • 6 cups pecan halves
    • 6 cups walnut halves

    1. Using a large knife, chop the dates, lemon rind, orange rind, apricots, figs, cherries, citron, and ginger. Place in a large bowl and add the raisins and currants. Pour 1/2 cup Grand Marnier and 1 cup cognac over the ingredients in the bowl and stir to mix well. Allow to rest in the refrigerate for a week.

    2. Preheat oven to 225. Grease 4 or 5 standard loaf pans. Line with parchment baking paper. Grease the parchment paper.

    3. Sift the flour, cocoa, cloves, cinnamon, mace, and espresso powder to combine.

    4. Cream butter and brown sugar; beat until fluffy. One at a time, beat in eggs, making sure each is fully incorporated before adding the next.

    5. Add dry ingredients and molasses a bit at a time, mixing well. Don’t worry if the mixture seems to curdle. It’s fine. Transfer batter to a very large bowl.

    6. Stir in marinated fruit mixture with the marinade, and nuts.

    7. Distribute batter into prepared pans. Press down to eliminate any air pockets. 

    8. Bake about 5 hours or until a toothpick inserted into center comes out clean.

    9. Remove cakes from oven and allow to cool for at least 30 minutes. Turn the cakes out onto racks. Cool completely before proceeding.

    10. Brush the tops of cakes with 1 tbsp each of Grand Marnier and cognac. Wrap tightly in plastic wrap and allow to ripen at room temperature for one week. Each day, unwrap and brush the cakes with 1 tbsp of each of the remaining liquors.

    11. After the week is up, wrap tightly in new plastic, wrap in foil and refrigerate for several weeks before serving.

    To increase the absorption of the liquor by the cakes, poke holes in the top with a toothpick before brushing on liquor.

    Other orange-flavored liquors can be used in place of the Grand Marnier.

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  • De-winefying Beer

    Because there are times when you are stuck in a place that has nothing better.  Maybe you are at a baseball game and don’t want to look like a douche.  Maybe you are in Vegas and they give you a free beer while you play the craps machine. You are principled and thus your favorite beer is called, “free” and your second favorite is called, “cold”….

    ….okay maybe beer is beer and maybe we should just leave it at that.  Why fuss about it?  

    This is my review of the only beer on the planet with the balls to have George Clooney narrate a commercial:  Budweiser.

    Just to get this out of the way, these have a mean score around 2/5 on my usual 5 (or 20-DenverJ)  point scale. So these need to be scored differently but judged in as objective a manner possible.  All of these:

    • Quaffed in high quantity; available in 24oz cans and sold as part of a 2 for 1 special.  Yes, I drank 48 oz of beer in one sitting for each specimen.
    • Have no pretense of cultural significance.  All are available at a gas station, specifically the CircleK in my neighborhood (PV/Shadow Mountain area of Phoenix).
    • Consumed from the same glass that is not particularly fancy. Don’t worry I cleaned it.
    • Nothing to fuss about, given their very minor qualities.  So these were all the only beer I had that day, following a trip to gym. I was in no position to be picky.

    They will be graded by:

    • Price.
    • Skunkiness. (5 point scale)
    • Ability to get me drunk. (5 point scale)
    • Marketing campaign. (5 point scale)

    Points will be added to the price for a total numerical score.  Lower or higher the better?  I don’t know, I will make this your call. I fully expect to be excoriated in the comments for my methodology.

    Hat Tip:

    Budweiser therefore, stacks up like this:

    Price: 2 for $3.50

    Skunkiness:  It is as terrible as it ever was. 4/5

    Ability to get me drunk: 2/5

    Marketing: Good. Bad. Ugly. Like Clooney is ever going to knock back a sixer of Bud like the proles.  I’ll be fair, they are trying to make beer in space. 3/5.

    Total: 12.5

    Next up is Straulian fah beeeyah.

    Fosters:

    Price:  2 for $3.50.

    Skunkiness: This is…charming. 4/5

    Ability to get me drunk: 2/5

    Marketing: I always thought these were funny.  Here’s a string of them.  4/5

    Total: 13.5

    Do they even sell these in six packs anymore or do they just go with the oil can? Next up, is something that meets all my criteria but unlikely to be found anywhere near you:

    San Tan Moon Juice Galactic IPA:

    Price:  2 for $4.00.

    Skunkiness: 2/5 (technically an IPA–score is debateable)

    Ability to get me drunk:  My wife was ever so pissed. 5/5 (7.3% abv)

    Marketing: 0

    Total: 11

    This might be unfair since it’s an IPA but it met all the criteria. Next up:

    Gilmore

    Coors Light:

    Price:  2 for $3.50.

    Skunkiness:  3/5

    Ability to get me drunk:  Meh.  My daughter can handle this. 1/5

    Marketing:  John Wayne?  Okay, but Clint Eastwood was better.  *shudders* John Denver… You lost all the goodwill from CGI Duke and The Gunny, Coors.  This is what makes people light their own country music awards on fire.  You should get less than nothing for this, but my stated methodology said nothing about negative scores.  Then there is Smokey and the Bandit, but that classic of Americana loses points for Sally Field.  1/5

    Total: 8.5

    This next one was actually pretty good.  New Belgium supposedly sought to steal market share from InBev and MolsonCoors brands by making a yellow lawn mower beer to counter the corporate giants buying craft breweries and distributing them across the country.  The result is like that scene from Casino where Joe Pesci’s character gets mad about the FBI watching him, so he literally has his guys watch them back.  It’s a pretty good golden ale. Nothing to write home about and definitely non-threatening.

    Who doesn’t want to get blazed in the middle of the day?

    New Belgium Dayblazer:

    Price:  2 for $4.00.

    Skunkiness:1/5

    Ability to get me drunk: 3/5

    Marketing: 0

    Total:  8

    Next is one that I haven’t touched since college.

    Rolling Rock 33:

    Price: 2 for $4.00

    It works on so many levels.

    Skunkiness: I thought this was going to suck.  I am not totally wrong, but I will not admit it. 2/5

    Ability to get me drunk: 2/5

    Marketing:  Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.  Oh my god. LMAO.  The ball.  Hits the groin. 3/5

    Total: 11

    Now, I happen to like Amstel, ever if they cannot spell beer correctly, so I’ll give them a shot.

    Amstel Xlight:

    Price: 2 for $4.00

    Skunkiness: I am not sure they know this market.1/5

    Ability to get me drunk: 2/5

    Marketing:  Cute. 2/5

    Total:  9

    Sorry, I need to stop here.  There are several others that span a spectrum between Corona and Colt 45, but quite frankly…I do not like you guys enough to continue drinking like I am homeless.  Have a good weekend.

  • Glibertarian (inaugural?) Beer it Forward

    Not enough for the whole class, I see…

    This is my review of Platform (Cleveland, OH) Smokin Fineapple Gose.

    I was graciously given the day off by my employer in observance of Veteran’s Day.  I took the day mostly to hang out with my kids and on my way home I noticed the FEDEX truck driving around my neighborhood.  Way to work it on a Federal holiday, FEDEX!  

    I got my box, fed my kids, and let the sender know the Maguffin arrived.  Then I tore it open!  I got some schwag:  stickers, a new pint glass, a D-ring/keychain.  Somewhere in there was some beer.  Hat Tip of all hat tips:  Nephilium.

    Immediately the Gose caught my attention.  I’ve had a few that were made with lemon but pineapple seemed a bit off for this style.  I decided that I’ve trusted the judgement of others only to come back with a sour apple martini so I dismissed these fears and put it on ice.

    This link here has a few methods on cooling beer in a few minutes time, some without electricity. The absolute fastest way to chill a beer without electricity is to take a disposable tupperware container large enough to hold the can/bottle.  Poke a couple holes in the sides and in the center of the lid.  Put the beverage into the container and ‘seal’ it. Then take a can of compressed air and insert the straw attachment into the hole in the lid.  Invert the can of compressed air and go to town.  You may want to wear gloves.  It should take only a minute of two to empty the can but the results will be chilling.  So in the event of the apocalypse we all can still have a cold drink. Thankfully, I don’t live in Somalia so the refrigerator sufficed.

    The Gose is sour but the pineapple has a nice subtle sweetness to it to counter it.  It also has sea salt floating in the mix so the result reminds me a bit of grilled pineapple.  Its pretty good, but I was wrong about this one being the most interesting thing in the box. Platform Smokin Fineapple Gose: 3/5

    Others in the box included:

    Masthead American IPA
    Fat Head Sunshine Daydream IPA

    Masthead American IPA: 3.2/5  The head says it all, it has a lot of body and delightfully floral.

     

    Fat Head Sunshine Daydream IPA. 3/5.  I had this one the next night in observance of fight night, for obvious reasons. It was better than majority of that card.

     

    Millersburg Brewing Panther Hollow Vanilla Porter
    Hoppin Frog Infusion A Coffee Porter

    Millersburg Brewing Panther Hollow Vanilla Porter 4.5/5.  Hell yeah!  Go find it, right now.  Don’t worry you can record your college football game and/or Man City (probably) won.  Don’t hesitate to get a six-pack.

     

    Hoppin Frog Infusion A Coffee Porter: 3.8/5. A bit more bite than expected but overall is solid. It’s like a light imperial stout.

     

     

    Finally the most interesting thing in the box, not just because it’s watching you.

    Saucy Fauxbia White Stout

    This one calls itself a ‘white stout’ so go ahead and insert an appropriation joke.  The malts are roasted with a high intensity heat that doesn’t seem to alter its color.  It’s like grilling chicken with too much flame, where the outside looks good but the inside is raw.  The result is something akin to a nice bitters with a smoky finish.  Do you like Scotch Whisky?  You’ll probably like this.  Saucy Fauxbia White Stout:  4.1/5

    So the bottom line:  it may be easy for us to make fun of Cleveland, unless you’re in Detroit, but their beer is most excellent.  Thanks Nephilium!